“Glee” creator Ryan Murphy has mixed memories about the beloved show.

“It was the best time in my life and the worst time in my life,” Murphy told Entertainment Weekly. “There was a lot of infighting. There was a lot of people sleeping together and breaking up. It was good training for being a parent, I’ll tell you that much. But I also made a mistake: We all got too personal. We loved it so much that we would all go out to dinner and we’d hang out and we were always together, so there was no delineation between who was the boss and who was the employee. And we were all so close that finally when something would happen, it would be so personal to me that I would literally hit the roof.”

Murphy said the show changed drastically when star Cory Monteith suddenly died of a drug overdose.

“What started off as being such a great celebration of love and acceptance ultimately became about darkness and death,” Murphy said. “It was a great lesson in what not to do moving forward. And many of them are my good friends to this day.”

He revealed the details of his last conversation with Monteith.

“We hugged, and the last thing he said was ‘I love you, man, and thank you for helping me get better.’ And then the next thing I knew he was dead. It was like losing a child.”

Click here to read Murphy’s entire interview in Entertainment Weekly.