Updated

Here's what's happening out there, everybody:

Over the past weekend, Jessica Alba arrived for the annual Baby2Baby gala — a benefit for needy families — in a gold and white gown with a super-tight bodice (below). But before she continues to focus her efforts on needy families, maybe Alba should help herself. Clearly, she doesn't have enough money for a bodice that can contain her bosom:

As far as we're concerned, it's never too early to start thinking about dinner. If you're looking for a great idea, check out the recipe for Arlington Club's enormous côte de boeuf (aka cowboy steak or rib-eye) in the video above. It's large enough to share, too!

"Dancing With the Stars" judge Julianne Hough wore nothing but a bikini and a mesh top for the cover of Shape magazine's December issue (below). In addition, Hough reportedly revealed her "hot-body plan" within the magazine's pages, which we're guessing is "be a professional dancer." That probably does the trick.

Kim Kardashian posed for the cover of Paper magazine with her entire naked butt hanging out, reportedly in an attempt to create enough commotion to "break the internet." And that's not actually a far-fetched goal; she's already broken the very laws of physics with that thing.

"Glee" actress Naya Rivera has already expressed her disapproval of Kim K's butt picture, telling Kim via Instagram to have more class. "I normally don't. But … you're someone's mother," she Rivera, who herself shows  on her own Instagram account. But she never birthed a kid. So everything's cool.

Jenny McCarthy and husband Donnie Wahlberg have snagged their own reality television series on A&E, to be called "Donnie Loves Jenny." We're hoping Jenny reciprocates, though. Otherwise, this relationship is never going to work.

To the delight of fans everywhere, video of a 12-year-old Taylor Swift singing the national anthem at an NBA game hit the internet earlier this week (below). But to be honest, most Taylor Swift fanatics would be just as happy to watch her, at 12, eating a bowl of Cap'n Crunch.

Speaking of Swift, she also posed for the cover of Wonderland magazine's November/December issue (below) — or at least that's what we're told. We're convinced she enlisted her secret, long-lost, bolder-browed twin sister to attend the photoshoot in her stead.

On Wednesday morning at 10 a.m., Al Roker will attempt to break the world record for the longest uninterrupted live weather broadcast. He plans to stay on the air for at least 34 hours, or about 33½ hours longer than anyone gives a damn.

"Pulp Fiction" and "Django Unchained" director Quentin Tarantino says he plans to retire after his 10th film. By his count, he's already up to eight (we count nine, but whatever), so that means he's only got two films left to shoehorn Christof Waltz, Samuel L. Jackson and Steve Buscemi into a wacky revenge caper. Better hop to, Tarantino.

On Tuesday's episode of "The Talk," Sharon Osbourne announced plans to bring her family's old reality show — "The Osbournes" — back to television. At long last, a whole new generation of viewers will have the chance to not understand what the heck Ozzy is talking about.

Jennifer Aniston is on the cover of Harper's Bazaar magazine's December issue. She's pictured floating above the landscape in a transparent, futuristic bubble conveyance (below), proving once again that celebrities have way cooler modes of transportation than we do.

And finally, Poison frontman Brett Michaels — who has been in and out of hospitals over the past few weeks following his kidney surgery — has been hospitalized for internal bleeding following a recent concert. The "Nothin' But a Good Time" singer is expected to recover, so long as he follows his doctors' advice and gets nothin' but some bed rest.