“Oh the dark thick pain of loss. The selfishness. How many moments away were you from feeling the love that was universal. From every corner of the world you were loved. So selfish. You’ve given us cause to be so angry,” Kilmer, 58, wrote on Facebook Friday.
Kilmer claimed that a “spiritual guide” told him that suicide is the “most selfish act a human can execute” and rhetorically questioned the Emmy Award-winning host of “Parts Unknown” star about the circumstances and methods of his suicide, including asking if he cheated on girlfriend Asia Argento before killing himself.
Bourdain hanged himself in his hotel room in France. He was 61.
The actor didn’t know Bourdain personally, but says he and millions of fans were “selfishly angry” that Bourdain left them behind.
The “Top Gun: Maverick” star revealed that he considered naming his new studio “Bourdain’s,” then managed to relate the author and TV personality’s suicide and internal struggles to his own battle with throat cancer.
“Would you have taken your life two years ago when like me you were unable to take in food and move it with your tongue over your taste buds because your tongue was too swollen? Is too swollen. I think and dream and plan on eating and tasting and enjoying every meal I’ve ever enjoyed and every meal I’ve learned to enjoy in my imagination,” he wrote.
“[Although] I’ve never met a meal I didn’t like in the last 40 years except anything with too much cilantro. Was that it? You woke up and realized you were no longer hungry. And that even with a young daughter at home you would never be hungry enough again to want to take in breath. Was your father’s hate so still so present as to cloud over every last sunny moment of every single damn day Anthony?”
Kilmer continued, ruminating on the “darkness” in the world and the empty space Bourdain’s absence has left within it before concluding with a cryptic note.
“You left too soon my friend. I fell asleep to watching you enjoy Uruguay last night. It was a rerun but I always find something I didn’t see before,” he concluded. “You left too soon. And I’m going to prove it.”