Will Warren's voter confrontation on student loan debt hurt her campaign?
A father in Iowa confronts 2020 hopeful Sen. Elizabeth Warren's student loan forgiveness plan.
This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," January 25, 2020. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
JEANINE PIRRO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: "THE GREG GUTFELD SHOW" is coming up and I'll see you next Saturday night. Thanks so much for being with us. We love you back.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
REP. ADAM SCHIFF (D-CA): There was a reason though why we are still here - - is that five to midnight?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Because it's your damn fault.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHEERING]
GUTFELD: Impeachment they came, they saw, they spewed like clowns with dysentery, and the media slobbered like Hunter Biden in a strip club.
[LAUGHTER]
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MICHAEL ISIKOFF, YAHOO NEWS CHIEF INVESTIGATIVE CORRESPONDENT: I thought Schiff's performance tonight was maybe his best.
JEFFREY TOOBIN, CNN LEGAL ANALYST: I thought it was dazzling. I thought the way he wove through both the facts of the case and the historical context was really remarkable.
MIKA BRZEZINSKI, MSNBC HSOT: By most accounts, it was a virtuoso performance.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Adam Schiff rocks, okay. He is trending on social media.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Yes, but most dead people trend on Twitter, too.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: Thank you.
[APPLAUSE]
GUTFELD: Now, the predictable response for me would be to mock the media for their verbal drool. You'd be right. That was some verbal drool, but it's to be expected. Impeachment isn't meant for you or me, it's for the media's emotional gratification.
The networks -- they're like t-shirt cannons, and the Democrats are printing the shirts all with the "I" word on them, shooting them out at you. But if there's just one takeaway, it would be this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SCHIFF: The President's misconduct cannot be decided at the ballot box. For we cannot be assured that the vote will be fairly won.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Holy crap, he told the truth. It's not about re-litigating 2016, but preventing a Trump win in 2020. So rather than take the field, they're calling it a bomb threat to cancel the game.
And like every sin that they pin on Trump, it's always something that will happen in the future, but never does.
Any who -- the whole thing was screamingly dull. If only we could make it more interesting.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
REP. JERROLD NADLER (D-NY): Solicitation itself, just the ask constitutes an abuse of power.
But President Trump went further. In order to secure his favor from Ukraine, he withheld two official acts of immense value.
First, he withheld the release of $391 million in vital military assistance appropriated by Congress in a bipartisan basis, which Ukraine needed to fight Russian aggression.
And second, President Trump withheld a long sought after White House meeting.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: That made it a lot better.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
GUTFELD: Now if we could just get Schiff to cut loose.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANNOUNCER: And now Adam Schiff cuts loose.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That's a good party, huh? I can't believe Mike is turning 50.
TOM SHILLUE, IMPERSONATING ADAM SCHIFF: Yes.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What a good turnout. Man, you want to cut loose?
SHILLUE: Yes. I'll prove it. Nailed it.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, Mike.
SHILLUE: And now, I'll have a drink of water. Oh --
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: My God.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: It gets worse. It gets worse.
[APPLAUSE]
GUTFELD: So the media -- the media loves impeachment because it allows them an escape from their own self-reflection. Remember the giant gun rights rally in Virginia? Here's how the media previewed it.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: State of emergency. Richmond, Virginia on high alert this morning bracing for violence as thousands descend for a gun rights rally.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This is the scene in Richmond. Armed militia, white nationalist groups from all over the country.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There are fears there could be violence particularly from white extremists.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: On edge and on alert, police in Virginia bracing for a massive crowd at a gun rights rally today amid fears it will attract white supremacists and turn violent.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Oh my god.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: Of course, what happened?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Cal, how's it gone so far?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, it's all good.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
GUTFELD: All good. But with impeachment, the media is able to get away with another giant smear against an entire group of people and it's just smear like all the others from Kavanaugh to Covington that tells you why you can't trust them with impeachment.
But impeachment protects so many dolts from good news. Trump just signed a climate deal committing to plant a trillion trees. That's more wood than a Home Depot on Viagra.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: Stock market, it is higher than Lil' Wayne smoking a joint made of Seth Rogen's hair.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHEERING]
GUTFELD: That was a good joke. Nobody heard it. Soleimani, he's still dead.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: As dead as Tom Arnold's career.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: Well, you know, maybe not that dead. But impeachment exists independent of reality because reality is good, right, Adam?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANNOUNCER: And now, Adam Schiff gets interrogated.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Mr. Schiff, we saw you shoplift on camera, please empty your pockets.
No, the things that you stole. Where's the other one?
SHILLUE: I only needed the one, okay.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What else?
SHILLUE: His name is Gary. He's a good listener.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Okay. Is that everything? Where did you hide that?
SHILLUE: Same place I hit the Chapstick.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, geez.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: It's getting weirder. We know. Disgusting.
[APPLAUSE]
GUTFELD: We know how this ends and so do the Dems, you can guarantee when Trump's acquitted they will howl that the fix was another abuse of power, but they're hoping they wounded him enough so one of their sorry candidates can finish him off.
That was the point -- to wound. They've been at it for three years, which reminds me, media, how can you take something seriously when it was started three years ago by the very people who are running this scam now? Shouldn't that tip you off?
I mean, that's like me stalking Lou Dobbs for three years.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: And then when he files that restraining order, I'm like, oh, who me? I was just hiding in his closet because he's obstructing justice.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: Meanwhile, in the trial, the Dems play tape of Trump out of context, but the media doesn't care. They're too busy giving Adam a tongue bath over his opinions, which is all this is. Not facts, opinions. Lawyers telling stories.
It's the same old drones trying to protect their power from the outsider, a proxy for you. D.C. is just a fat-bloated cat trying to hack up an orange furball called Trump.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: The end result, impeachment is no longer a rare option but a new tool to impact elections. Soon impeachments will be ongoing. You know, it's like pets on planes or hair on your toes. You never used to see it.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: Now it's everywhere. Right Adam?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANNOUNCER: And now Adam Schiff meets his favorite celebrity.
SHILLUE: Well, this is so exciting.
LOU DOBBS, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK, LOU DOBBS TONIGHT: Very exciting. Mostly for you, I think.
SHILLUE: Can I get you to autograph this one, please? Make it out to Steve.
DOBBS: Steve? I thought your -- I thought your name was Adam.
SHILLUE: Yes. But I've always liked the name Steve. It's kind of a cool name isn't, it?
DOBBS: Steve it is. Steve.
SHILLUE: Look out, everyone. Here comes, Steve.
DOBBS: And there you go, Steve. I think it's time for you to leave.
SHILLUE: Yes. You know, I think it's time for you to stop being so awesome.
DOBBS: No promises.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ANNOUNCER: Period.
[APPLAUSE]
Cheer
GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. He splits more sides than a cheap date, writer and comedian, Michael Loftus.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHEERING]
GUTFELD: He is as courageous as I am contagious. Retired U.S. Marine Corps bomb technician and Fox News contributor, Joey Jones.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHEERING]
GUTFELD: She is sweet, petite and rarely discreet. Host of "Sincerely, Kat" on Fox Nation, Kat Timpf.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHEERING]
GUTFELD: And whoever he waves at ends up in the next state. My massive sidekick and host of "Nuff Said" on Fox nation, Tyrus.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHEERING]
GUTFELD: All right, Mr. Loftus, were you dazzled by Schiff's impeachment performance?
MICHAEL LOFTUS, WRITER AND COMEDIAN: I was completely dazzled. Just like the critics were, it's better than "Cats." I've ever seen -- his movements told a story.
Good Lord. Some bonehead actually said that kids in college will be reciting this. Two and a half hour marathon. Like who wouldn't do that?
Come on. He could have like -- he could have just recited the ingredients to like instant mashed potatoes and they would have freaked out.
Now, empty the contents into the bowl. You guys can have that. I love that the whole Shillue thing has turned into like a David Lynch film.
[LAUGHTER]
LOFTUS: It's great.
GUTFELD: It is getting more and more twisted. It's even disturbing me and I'm not easily disturbed.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: Or maybe I am. There's something wrong with me, Joey. I can't figure it out. Is their plan to bore us to death? The Democrats?
JOEY JONES, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: It's possible. It's certainly possible. I was bored. I was in a cornfield in Nebraska all week and I think I got a lot more excitement than anybody in the Senate chamber.
The one thing I will say is that the idea that Hunter Biden didn't get his job because of his dad is about as commonsense as the fact that Adam Schiff is probably as addicted to eye drops as he is Botox.
[LAUGHTER]
JONES: So the only problem here is, we all want to know why Adam Schiff does it, and we all want to know did Joe do something here? You know, why did they give it to Hunter? Did Hunter actually have that pull?
GUTFELD: Yes, well, you know, Hunter does have a lot of experience. Unfortunately, it's with crack and hookers.
[LAUGHTER]
LOFTUS: And rental cars in the desert.
GUTFELD: And rental cars in the desert. Maybe not hookers -- strippers. I should condition that strippers not hookers, Kat. I cannot stress that enough. What did you think of the whole thing?
KATHERINE TIMPF, FOX NATION HOST: Okay, I have lots of thoughts --
GUTFELD: Put them in order.
TIMPF: Okay, I will. So I think that the way the Democrats talked about and treated the Second Amendment rally completely proves that the way they're talking about impeachment is BS.
Now, before I go further, I just want to say I don't necessarily love the way that all Republicans have been talking about it either.
GUTFELD: Right.
TIMPF: I don't buy this idea that Trump's conversation here was completely and totally selfless. Just a complete altruistic concern for corruption in Ukraine.
GUTFELD: Right.
TIMPF: It never crossed his mind that this was a political opponent, and that, you know, the investigation might make him look bad, but -- and you guys will like this part better --
[LAUGHTER]
TIMPF: When it comes to the Democrats, and they're saying that, it's not because they've hated Trump forever and they weren't trying to impeach him since before he took office, it's about the Constitution? I'm sorry. Democrats don't give a rat's ass about the Constitution.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
TIMPF: I told you. I told you. I told you they would -- I knew it. I knew it because honestly, if they did, if they did, they'd have been out there supporting all of those people who were protesting because they were protesting for a constitutional right that has already been violated, especially in places like here, like New York City.
GUTFELD: Definitely.
TIMPF: And being continued to be -- like attempts to violate it by the Democrats.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: They're the ones doing it. So whenever they say Constitution this, Constitution that. I just want to tell them, shove it.
GUTFELD: There you go.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHEERING]
GUTFELD: You know, it's wreaking havoc on my constitution, Kat, but we'll be right back.
Tyrus, take it home.
GEORGE "TYRUS" MURDOCH, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: You know, I'm glad you mentioned the word home because I'm concerned. This is affecting you, it's affecting me. You are turning into an evil mad scientist.
[LAUGHTER]
MURDOCH: His hair is changing. He's dressing in all black. He's yelling a lot.
TIMPF: I want to ask you, why do you look like a film director who's late for his Q&A at Sundance?
[LAUGHTER]
MURDOCH: You -- look at your look. Ever since that "Five" rant you had, you have lost it.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MURDOCH: And I know you have to watch certain things.
TIMPF: Wait a second. I think it's okay.
MURDOCH: No, I'm worried. It had an opposite effect on me because I'm wearing pajamas to work now. I just don't care. If you don't care. I don't care and I'm hoping --
TIMPF: You think we're not supposed to wear pajamas to work?
GUTFELD: I thought that this was -- I call this the Vegas gynecologist look.
MURDOCH: No.
[LAUGHTER]
MURDOCH: You're going to have a white streak next week. It's going to get longer. You're going to start doing this a lot.
TIMPF: You're going to wear a tunic.
MURDOCH: Look, I'm a little worried about it, but --
GUTFELD: I'm Greg Gutfeld, nightclub detective.
MURDOCH: Yes. Seriously. And I'm watching at home in my pajamas. So if we put this, I think we can save you, I think they can save me very simply, the Republicans when they get their turn, if they can have all of them stand up, all the lawyer stand up, do a quick do the prayer.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MURDOCH: Do the pledge allegiance to the flag. Have Mitch stand up and go, you guys ready to vote?
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.
[LAUGHTER]
MURDOCH: And then, everything goes back to the normal.
[APPLAUSE]
GUTFELD: We've got to roll, but that is the perfect, perfect idea. More after this.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHEERING]
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
ANNOUNCER: And now, THE GREG GUTFELD SHOW presents the 2020 CAN'T-idates.
GUTFELD: He stood firm and made Liz squirm. Elizabeth Warren is promising to cancel student loan debt. If she's elected President.
Her plan would forgive up to $50,000.00 of debt for those who make less than 100 grand a year. By the way, Bernie says he'd cancel all student loan debt.
But at an event in Iowa, a guy walked up to Warren and had this to say. News.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: My daughter is getting out of school. I've saved all my money. She doesn't have any student loans.
SEN. ELIZABETH WARREN (D-MA), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: God bless you.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Am I going to get my money back?
WARREN: Of course not.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: Of course not. Well, at least she's honest about this.
Anyway, I interrupted, continue, sir.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So you're going to pay for people who didn't save any money, and those of us who did the right thing get screwed.
WARREN: No, it's not anybody that got screwed.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Of course, we did. My buddy had fun, bought a car, went on vacations. I saved my money. He made more than I did. But I worked a double shift, worked extra. My daughter has worked since she's 10. So you're laughing.
WARREN: No, I'm not.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, that's exactly what you're doing. We did the right thing and we get screwed.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
[APPLAUSE]
GUTFELD: Probably a lot of Native Americans saying, she's not one of us.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: He's probably not the only parent who feels screwed. Liz, what do you have to say to these people?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
WARREN: Look, we build a future going forward by making it better. By that same logic, what would we have done? Not started Social Security because we didn't start it last week for you or last month for you?
Think of it this way, when I was growing up, I wanted to be a public school teacher. My family had no money --
QUESTION: Are you saying tough luck to these people, Senator?
WARREN: No.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: I can't believe anything she's saying because everything she says isn't true. I understand the Warren team is polling that answer with voters. Let's check in.
(VIDEO CLIP PLAYS)
GUTFELD: Joey, I'm with that voter.
JONES: Firstly, we'll come back to goats in a little bit. Those boys here today are going bring up goats a time or two. Secondly, you know, I mean his buddy is the real winner here. He bought a car, he went on vacation. Now, I want to go out with that guy. He didn't even to pay for kids' school.
And I don't know why this guy is complaining. School cost me a leg and a leg. I mean --
[LAUGHTER]
TIMPF: You can laugh. He wants you to laugh.
MURDOCH: Hold on, hold on. Wait, wait. Sorry, sir, I'm slipping. It's the PJ. He has got to make jokes about his legs. It's okay to laugh about it.
[LAUGHTER]
MURDOCH: He does it all the time. So just put your best foot forward and laugh.
[LAUGHTER]
MURDOCH: No, you can --
GUTFELD: Joey, make your point. This always happens.
JONES: That's a good old fashioned ass chewing. And every politician needs one regardless if they're right or wrong. It is what keeps them honest. So I'm glad he did it. That was perfect.
GUTFELD: Yes, and not just a politician who needs a good ass chewing. Kat --
TIMPF: Glad to be up next after that.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: You know, a progressive's worst enemy is a follow up question. She has no answer to that question.
TIMPF: Right. Well, the whole debate is whether it's fair -- it's only fair to pay people who already paid for college if you're going to pay for people to go for free.
And I actually think it's not fair. But let me explain. I couldn't go to journalism school because I couldn't afford it. I still wanted to work in broadcasting. So I took unpaid internships and worked a bunch of really crappy jobs to pay my bills in the meantime.
It was really hard. I was working all the time. I could only afford to live in like the worst apartment ever. At one point, I had fleas and scabies in the same week. So unless --
GUTFELD: I didn't need to know that.
TIMPF: What I am saying -- unless --
LOFTUS: They didn't grow with that.
TIMPF: What I am saying is, unless Elizabeth Warren can put me in a classroom back in time instead of when I was cleaning bathrooms at Boston Market, unless she can give me the time of my life back that I spent alone sitting there covered in scabies cream. It's not fair. It's not fair.
I'm serious because there are so many people who make sacrifices to pay for school or to pay for their kids' school or to go on a different path that doesn't involve school because they can't afford it, and a lot of those sacrifices are things that money can't make up for. So it's not just about money. You can't just pay this way. It still wouldn't be fair.
[APPLAUSE]
GUTFELD: Well put. Well put.
TIMPF: And yes, I had scabies.
GUTFELD: Stop it. I just hope I didn't eat at the Boston Market you were working at during that unfortunate period of time.
TIMPF: You better hope not.
GUTFELD: Tyrus?
MURDOCH: You know, this is what happens when you have talking points. Now, in our business, we have -- we'll call them colleagues -- who just have talking points, which means they do what like Greg is doing right there. They take -- make little notes, and whatever is on that paper, they're going to say it no matter what the question is.
That's a little more -- she cannot --
GUTFELD: Why are you picking on me?
MURDOCH: Because I don't -- I feel like I don't know you.
[LAUGHTER]
MURDOCH: Like I keep waiting at any minute for you to tell me my kids are tied up on a train track somewhere.
TIMPF: You need like a tinee-tiny espresso.
MURDOCH: You're like a villain. He's an evil villain.
TIMPF: He needs like a little espresso.
MURDOCH: You've let them get to you.
GUTFELD: What if I just sit here and pet this?
MURDOCH: Yes, that would work.
TIMPF: Looks about right.
MURDOCH: That would work.
GUTFELD: All right, I'm tired of hearing you, Tyrus.
[LAUGHTER]
MURDOCH: You're going to push the red button on the desk.
GUTFELD: I'm going to go to Michael now because Michael understands me, don't you, Michael?
LOFTUS: I do, but this is when it gets David Lynch-y to me, right?
GUTFELD: Yes.
LOFTUS: This is the one time Elizabeth Warren can't lie.
GUTFELD: Yes.
LOFTUS: She's just like -- right? She's half Indian for -- she couldn't just tap him on the shoulder like, no, we'll take care of you, buddy.
[LAUGHTER]
LOFTUS: Like, lie. It's an awkward -- you know he is obviously looking for a confrontation, but like no, you're good. Get in the double guns. Send him on his way.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: Yes. That's such a good point.
TIMPF: Yes. Like if you're going to start offering stuff already that you know that you can't afford to pay for, it would just be like all this stuff. Yes, sure.
LOFTUS: Absolutely.
MURDOCH: But she can't do those things because she didn't have it written down already.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MURDOCH: So don't take questions you don't already have submitted? Because if he would have submitted that question, she would have had an answer for it.
GUTFELD: She didn't have the answer even the next day though.
MURDOCH: No. She talked about my dream was to be a school teacher.
GUTFELD: Yes, which is a lie.
MURDOCH: I was a teacher. No one dreams of being a school teacher.
LOFTUS: I like how she brought up Social Security should we not have started that? That was a scam.
MURDOCH: She's lying. She didn't start it.
LOFTUS: But Social Security kicks in at 65 because back when they started it, everybody was dead by 60.
GUTFELD: Yes.
[LAUGHTER]
LOFTUS: I'm not even kidding. It was a Ponzi scheme.
GUTFELD: All right.
[APPLAUSE]
GUTFELD: All right, our audience is applauding the early death of people. Back in two shakes of something.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHEERING]
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
AISHAH HASNIE, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CORRESPONDENT: Live from "America's News Headquarters," I'm Aishah Hasnie. New fears tonight about the deadly coronavirus outbreak.
Nearly 2,000 cases have been confirmed in China and 56 people have died. China's state run news agency says 237 patients are in critical condition. The U.S. reportedly preparing to evacuate American citizens and diplomats from the epicenter of this outbreak, Wuhan.
Meanwhile, Australia, Canada and Malaysia reported their first cases today. Two cases have been confirmed here in the U.S., but dozens more maybe sick.
Meantime, a man is facing multiple charges for allegedly pointing lasers at planes landing at a Florida airport. Investigators say that suspect was caught on camera at least four different times, a pilot was injured. The suspect is also accused of trying to attack an officer with a hammer.
I'm Aishah Hasnie, now back to THE GREG GUTFELD SHOW.
GUTFELD: Like that bizarre rash I got a Lollapalooza in '97, one politician keeps coming back.
We're days away from the Iowa caucus. We should be hearing about Joe and Pete and who the hell else? Instead, who's grabbing all the headlines?
[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]
GUTFELD: There she is. She talks about Bernie in a new documentary saying, "He was in Congress for years. Nobody likes him. Nobody wants to work with him. He got nothing done." It's true. He did not screw an intern.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: Anyway. she added, "It's not only him, it's the culture around him, his leadership team, his prominent supporters, his online Bernie Bros and the relentless attacks on his competitors, particularly the women."
Wow. She makes them sound so deplorable. Congrats, Hillary. I think you just made Bernie the nominee. Let's get a word in from a TV analyst.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DONALD TRUMP (R), PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: When Hillary says nobody likes him, nobody likes her. That's why she lost. Nobody liked her.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
[APPLAUSE]
GUTFELD: Can't argue with that logic. Meanwhile, Tulsi Gabbard is filing a defamation suit against the pantsuit for 50 million bucks. Tulsi claims Hillary tried to destroy your reputation by saying she's a Russian asset.
I'm no lawyer, but it should be hard to prove Hillary has a history of trying to destroy reputations. Isn't that right, screaming Sam?
[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: I didn't expect that, which makes it all the more better, Kat. I think I'm drooling from laughter. What is she aiming for here? There's something going on, right? Something behind the scenes. She's looking for some kind of control in the White House.
TIMPF: Well, look, you can say what you will about Hillary, but she has a superpower. I just noticed this. You guys know how like when you were a kid or you would play opposite day?
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: Where your mom would be like, you have to go to bed now. You'd be like, ah, opposite day. I have to stay up. Opposite day. Then she'd like hit you with the broom. You know?
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: Just kidding. Like sorry, mom. I'm sorry. She's dead. What? You didn't kill her. Calm down. Okay.
MURDOCH: Wait a minute. So a joke about his leg, you go ah. But a joke about a dead mom, you laugh. You're sick.
TIMPF: I'm glad they laughed.
GUTFELD: This is what impeachment is doing to us.
[LAUGHTER]
MURDOCH: You see it now.
GUTFELD: Yes, it's turning me into an Audi car dealer.
TIMPF: If you cannot man-terrupt me, all of you, stop man-terrupting me and let me finish. That will be great.
So Hillary Clinton, every time she tries to make somebody look bad or take them down, it becomes opposite day without her even having to say opposite day, and they get way more popular.
It happened with Tulsi. This week, it happened with Bernie. I just wish she'd say something about me. I wish -- I wish she'd be like Kat Timpf is - - her career is not going anywhere. I would have your job by Monday.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: You still might.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHEERING]
GUTFELD: You still might. I'm thinking of actually leaving his job and captaining a Russian submarine. Tyrus?
MURDOCH: Or go after James Bond.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MURDOCH: You see that, I mean --
GUTFELD: I left my black cat somewhere.
MURDOCH: I want you to die, Mr. Bond. Look, you know, we sit -- I think this is kind of a biased panel in terms of pretty much everyone here is a little right.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: Bet you --
MURDOCH: But she had a tremendous following on the left, and she's still a somebody on the left.
GUTFELD: Right.
MURDOCH: And I think that even in her arrogance, she still sees that she was the best shot that they had in terms of the candidate and she's attacking what -- she's trying to get in front of what's going to happen.
She's trying to say I told you guys I should have run. I should have ran again. We could have got it right. You should have believed in me again. Because this team ain't getting it done.
I mean, I told them what to do.
GUTFELD: She's like Jay Leno.
MURDOCH: Yes, they literally I told them -- I told them what to do, combine to one team. All the Democrats get together, one team, all 46 or 12 that are left, form one person, and then that's your best shot. You know, it will be -- it will be entertaining to hear them argue.
GUTFELD: Buy the giant overcoat, I say.
MURDOCH: Yes.
GUTFELD: Michael, the giant overcoat. You just all climb in it.
[LAUGHTER]
LOFTUS: I still -- I can't believe this chick did that.
GUTFELD: Yes.
LOFTUS: Like how bad did she screw Bernie over?
GUTFELD: Yes.
LOFTUS: Like institutionally bad. Like he should still be smoking a cigarette. Right? Like years later. I don't like you. Nobody likes you. You never got anything done. He just got to be at home. I can't believe this is happening.
[LAUGHTER]
LOFTUS: I couldn't have been nicer to this lady. I couldn't have been nicer and she's screwing me again.
GUTFELD: Yes.
LOFTUS: And then in "The Hollywood Reporter" thing, she goes after Bill and Monica Lewinsky like she's just digging up everything. She's the queen of negativity.
GUTFELD: Yes.
LOFTUS: Only one good thing comes out of her winning the White House. Every day, she'd have to sit at that desk.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: Last word.
TIMPF: I don't know why I never thought of that.
LOFTUS: I'm voting for her. She'd be like, can we get some plants in here?
[LAUGHTER]
JONES: You just cut the legs right out of one of my best jokes tonight. So I've got a theory here, okay, this documentary is obviously not working out for her, but it's working out well for everyone she talks bad about.
Something like, probably the D.N.C. is standing there with cue cards that are just mean tweets of things people have tweeted about her, letting her read it as if she's saying it, you know.
And what's really funny here is if Tulsi sues her and gets $50 million, the irony is Tulsi will actually then be getting Russian money, and so then she'll be the most hated.
[APPLAUSE]
GUTFELD: Brilliant. All right, we've got more stuff you're going to love. More after this.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHEERING]
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: He still wanted refinement, instead, he got confinement. You remember Michael Avenatti? Former lawyer for Stormy Daniels. Former B in Trump's bonnet. Former guy who considered running for President. Former A- list guest on cable news. Oh, he was their crush.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANA NAVARRO, ABC HOST: To me, you're like the Holy Spirit. You are at all places at all times.
BRIAN STELTER, CNN CHIEF MEDIA CORRESPONDENT: Looking ahead to 2020, one reason why I'm taking you seriously as a contender is because of your presence on cable news.
I wrote about this saying you're currently leading the pack among 2020 contenders on the Democratic side.
CHRIS MATTHEWS, MSNBC HOST: Look, I think you're doing a hell of a job. I don't think you're in this for money.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: Oh, never let him forget this crap. That was then. Now, I have an audience awaiting trial for charges of extortion. And he's held in an isolated unit of Manhattan's Federal Detention Center -- solitary. The same unit where El Chapo stayed, and Brian Kilmeade.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: He wasn't arrested, he just loves a dirty cell. The warden says Avenatti is there because it's for his own safety.
Now part of me wants to feel bad for him because I'm a good person, but then I think he wouldn't feel bad for me at all. So I go to my happy place and I think about this.
[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]
GUTFELD: I don't know why, Tyrus, but why do I feel like sorry for him? This guy would screw you over in a second.
MURDOCH: No, he wouldn't because I wouldn't let him get near me in a second.
[LAUGHTER]
MURDOCH: No, sir. I think they've got to keep him in solitary. I mean, you can't let a guy like that unleashed on all of those poor prisoners.
GUTFELD: Yes.
JONES: That's right.
MURDOCH: Walking around promising them to get them money and get them out of jail and help them with their book.
Yes, I mean, look what he did to Stormy Daniels. Like when she writes another book about the worst period of her life, it's going to be what she met Michael Avenatti, like think about it.
[LAUGHTER]
JONES: She had a respectable porn career until he came along and ruined it all.
GUTFELD: He ruined her porn career.
MURDOCH: That's impossible to do. And he did it.
GUTFELD: Usually drugs do it, not a lawyer.
MURDOCH: No. This dude is one of the worst human beings on the planet, but he was at one point up for hero of the year at CNN.
GUTFELD: Yes, he was.
MURDOCH: So let's remember that.
GUTFELD: He was.
MURDOCH: Let's remember that.
GUTFELD: There was some bald on bald love we just saw between him and what's -- Brian Stelter.
LOFTUS: Yes, that was creepy. I've ever seen those clips before, I didn't like it. I guess his cell is freezing cold. He has to use three blankets. He wants to go into the general population.
MURDOCH: I bet he does.
LOFTUS: They won't let him. They won't let him shave. They're making him grow a beard. He should just start training. He should be training, growing a beard, doing pushups, getting stronger, then they kick your ass.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: It's amazing though like, Joey that like every -- this is another example of media malfeasance. They are never right. When they put all their money on one horse that horse croaks.
JONES: One, if he were still in the race he would probably still be the front runner, so just let that sit in for a minute. And two, if he really needs more blankets, he should write Joe Biden, maybe he'll send some leftover from that Ukrainian arms deal they had going on.
[APPLAUSE]
GUTFELD: Kat, please tell me you have some very deep thoughts on this.
TIMPF: Okay, well actually I do. Thank you.
[LAUGHTER]
TIMPF: He's clearly a narcissist.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: So I don't think he's actually that miserable about what any normal person would be miserable about in there.
GUTFELD: Right.
TIMPF: Most normal people would be like, oh, no, like, I'm going to maybe spend the rest of my life here.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: But he's there like, CNN might be e-mailing me and I'm missing it. Like I still have a shot at the Democratic nomination, like, because they don't ever expect consequences for their own behavior.
The worst thing about it for him is that he is alone because his favorite thing in the world except for you know, stealing from paraplegic people, was attention.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: Everything he did was for attention, but he's so full of himself, I'm sure he probably thinks he's still got a shot.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: Because no -- who could touch him? He is the best. Mikey boy is the best -- he probably calls himself that.
LOFTUS: There is a chance.
[APPLAUSE]
LOFTUS: Using your opposite day theory that Hillary could say something mean about him, and we would all fall in love with him.
GUTFELD: Yes.
LOFTUS: And he then gets out of jail.
TIMPF: It's such a crazy --
MURDOCH: I don't even think that could happen.
TIMPF: It's such a crazy power.
GUTFELD: My favorite story, up next.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHEERING]
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: So you want a free iguana? Then move to Miami. It was so cold there this week that the National Weather Service issued a warning to be on the lookout for falling iguanas.
True. Because when the temperature dropped to the 40s as it did, the cold stuns the iguanas, freezes them temporarily and so if an iguana is up in a tree eating some leaves like iguanas, and my uncle Carl does, he could suddenly become immobile and fall to the ground or fall on you and that would hurt.
Iguana experts which there are many, I want you to know that just because an iguana is frozen doesn't mean it's dead. It's just stunned and please don't put the iguanas in hot water because that is cruel, even if it is tasty.
For more, we go to our cold blooded correspondent Frank who is live in Miami.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, Greg, it's [bleep] freezing down here. You know I don't do well below 80 degrees. When I get back to New York, I'm going to whoop your ass.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Thank you, Frank. He'll be there for the Super Bowl provided he survives. Kat?
TIMPF: Exactly. So we're going to Miami next week for the Super Bowl.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: This had better still be a thing okay, like okay, let me just explain.
GUTFELD: This is your idea of heaven.
TIMPF: Yes. It is. Some little girls, they grow up dreaming about being you know, like a princess, finding their Prince Charming and having a family. I always dreamed about being Queen of the lizards. Okay?
I'm talking big lizards, bigger the better, all over the place, a place where just literally raining lizards is like my wildest dream come true. And so I'm just saying, okay, I'm warning you Weather Service. If I get off that plane, and I am not hit in the face with no less than five iguanas, just pummeled, I'm going to go to my hotel room. I am going to have a seance. I am going to bring Johnnie Cochran back from the dead and I will sue you -- I will sue you for getting my hopes up and crushing my dreams and my spirit.
GUTFELD: Oh, wow. You know, I keep thinking --
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: You know, Michael, wouldn't it be great if like a frozen iguana just landed in front of a hungry alligator? It'd be like that scene in "Animal House" where the kid says thank you, God.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: I said it to you because I figured you and I are the same age.
[LAUGHTER]
LOFTUS: Yes. Where she comes flying through the window.
GUTFELD: Yes. A flying iguana.
LOFTUS: Hilarious.
TIMPF: I don't get it.
GUTFELD: Yes, see.
MURDOCH: I get it.
TIMPF: I'm so young. Sorry. You're 40, ha-ha.
LOFTUS: I am -- these iguanas. That's an invasive species. They're not supposed to be there and I'll tell you what, like a 10-pound iguana falling out of a tree, that could kill a person.
TIMPF: Kevin?
LOFTUS: I love that you want to get hit in the face with five iguanas.
TIMPF: I do.
LOFTUS: I think maybe --
TIMPF: Is that too much to ask. I've worked so hard.
GUTFELD: I think so there's a channel on Pornhub for that.
LOFTUS: Right.
TIMPF: Oh, I know.
LOFTUS: I feel -- I actually feel a little bit bad for the iguanas because like they just pass out and then they wake up somewhere else. It's like they have like a little blackout drunk thing.
GUTFELD: Yes.
LOFTUS: Now I'm just picturing little iguana AA meetings where, you know, I was feeling really good and then I was in a tree and I must have slipped.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: Tyrus, it is traumatic for the iguanas. Shouldn't have little therapy insects?
MURDOCH: Well, if they would have fell in San Francisco, yes. Luckily, the iguanas fell in a state where it wasn't an issue. There wasn't an immediate tweet. President Trump's tweets cause iguanas to fall off the trees in shock.
Safe space is available, and a number for your family to call if you witnessed an iguana falling to the ground and you had to go with the rest of your day because you went -- what was that? You know, so that was --
You know, I honestly -- I'm going to be in Miami, too. I'll make some calls. See if we can get somebody just because they're laying on the ground, they can't move. Pick them up, put them in your freezer, write Kat on them. And if we could get everybody who is coming out to the show that Monday to put --
GUTFELD: Don't do that.
MURDOCH: No, let me finish, Greg.
GUTFELD: Don't listen to him.
TIMPF: If I don't get hit with a bunch of iguanas, I will not -- I cannot perform.
MURDOCH: Two iguanas in your refrigerator. Write Kat on them and then when you come to the live show, when Kat comes out and I'll be -- we have her, iguanas everybody? And the crowd would be like -- yes, and then throw -- they throw the iguanas at Kat.
GUTFELD: We know -- stop that. We love our lizards, Joey. We love --
TIMPF: Not as much as I do.
GUTFELD: Yes, but we're not going to -- we don't want lizard activists coming after us.
TIMPF: I am the lizard activist, Greg.
GUTFELD: No, you're something strange.
MURDOCH: She's going to hug all of the frozen iguanas back to life.
JONES: That feeling for something that ends up, you know, paralyzed on his back for a few seconds. That happens to me almost every day. But --
TIMPF: Scabies, scabies.
MURDOCH: I hate every one of you -- every one of you. I'm going to find each and every one of you. I've got a lot to do this year.
JONES: But to be honest with you, I'm from Georgia. All right, I mean, you know, iguanas falling out of trees. What's the big deal? Where I'm from, we have something called a tendency fainting with goats, you want to get crazy? Watch a hundred pound go hooves up for 30 seconds. This time, you go boo.
GUTFELD: Yes, I've seen them. They just -- they fall right over. They're hilarious.
JONES: Yes, are iguanas. They are big lizards.
MURDOCH: Wait a minute, goat fainting? Where's the groan? You suck.
[LAUGHTER]
JONES: It ain't bad.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: Terrible. Fainting goats.
LOFTUS: Tennessee, fainting goats.
GUTFELD: Yes, that's what we used to call it.
[LAUGHTER]
GUTFELD: All right, stay with us.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHEERING]
GUTFELD: Finally, tonight my latest effort in exposing a universal truth. Roll it, Joyce.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Animals are jerks. Animals are jerks. Animals are jerks.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
[APPLAUSE]
GUTFELD: Yes. All right. Thank you, Michael Loftus. Staff Sergeant Joey Jones. Kat Timpf. Tyrus. Our studio audience. We'll see you next week in Miami. I'm Greg Gutfeld. Love you.
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