Whoopi Goldberg Plays 'Head Games'

This is a rush transcript from "On the Record," October 20, 2009. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GRETA VAN SUSTEREN, FOX NEWS HOST: Now the one and only Whoopi Goldberg goes "On the Record." Now, she is one of the few artists to ever win an Oscar, an Emmy, a Golden Globe, a Grammy and a Tony Award. It is the "five-fecta." But there's more. You also know her well as the host of "The View." And there is even more. Did you know she has a brand-new show coming out?

Earlier, Whoopi went "On the Record."

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

VAN SUSTEREN: Whoopi, thank you for joining us.

WHOOPI GOLDBERG, CO-HOST, "THE VIEW": Thanks for having me, Greta.

VAN SUSTEREN: Is this your first "On the Record" experience? Is it? I don't remember. I think it might be.

GOLDBERG: I think it might be. Yes. I never got to come to your show before.

VAN SUSTEREN: Well, we've probably asked you a billion times. You're probably too busy.

GOLDBERG: You might have, but not too busy for you.

VAN SUSTEREN: Oh, no. OK, let's talk about busy. "Head Games."

GOLDBERG: Yes!

VAN SUSTEREN: What is that?

GOLDBERG: It is a game show that we put together for the Science Channel that uses video and great trivia and silly, wonderful questions that you can do with family, you can do it by yourself, just to get people sort of having some fun because science is fun. It's everywhere that we are.

VAN SUSTEREN: I hate science. I mean, I know I should have liked it, but I was so terrible at it...

(CROSSTALK)

VAN SUSTEREN: I was terrible at it.

GOLDBERG: ... because we had to do it by rote. It had nothing to do with engaging the students. This is the way we do it. This is the way it's supposed to be. But with this show -- this show is the kind of show that -- where you think, Oh, my goodness, I can't believe I knew that, you know?

VAN SUSTEREN: Like what? Give me an example of a question.

GOLDBERG: Like, OK...

VAN SUSTEREN: But don't make me answer it!

GOLDBERG: Is there -- is there a frog that can throw up its own stomach, wash its stomach off, if it eats poison, and swallow it back?

VAN SUSTEREN: My guess is yes because it's so bizarre that I would be inclined to say no. So I say yes.

GOLDBERG: Yes, there is.

VAN SUSTEREN: So...

(CROSSTALK)

GOLDBERG: ... fabulous one. You see it because you think, I would like to do that. Who (INAUDIBLE) and goes on about his business. Did you know -- no, I'll ask you.

VAN SUSTEREN: OK.

GOLDBERG: Is there any beverage on the market that you can use on your car battery if it dies?

VAN SUSTEREN: Coca-Cola.

GOLDBERG: No.

VAN SUSTEREN: What?

GOLDBERG: Red wine because of the acidity. You can pour the red wine on the -- the mounts there, and it'll start your car up.

VAN SUSTEREN: Really? Do you know -- do you know how to get Sharpie pen off a -- like, a light-colored blazer?

GOLDBERG: I've never owned a light-colored blazer. Tell me.

VAN SUSTEREN: Or like anything, light-colored anything.

GOLDBERG: How?

VAN SUSTEREN: This is so great. Hair spray and a sponge.

GOLDBERG: Gum (ph).

VAN SUSTEREN: Science.

GOLDBERG: Write that down!

VAN SUSTEREN: Hairspray. That's...

GOLDBERG: Well, listen, let me ask you this. If you draw a -- with a pen a line in the sand -- or not in the sand but on a piece of paper, will ants (ph) follow it?

VAN SUSTEREN: I would have said -- think no, but I'm saying -- I would think yes because it's so bizarre. They'll follow it? Really?

GOLDBERG: They will follow it. Now, how does...

VAN SUSTEREN: How did you know that?

GOLDBERG: (INAUDIBLE) ballpoint pen.

VAN SUSTEREN: Did you just learn it doing the show? I mean...

GOLDBERG: Well, it's the show. I mean, it's -- it's great, bizarre, wonderful, fun facts. Like, if you put -- if you take all your Christmas lights and you unplug them and you put them in a ball...

VAN SUSTEREN: Right.

GOLDBERG: ... and you put them in the Microwave, will they light up?

VAN SUSTEREN: I have -- I haven't even thought of doing that.

GOLDBERG: Yes, they will.

VAN SUSTEREN: Why?

GOLDBERG: I don't know! But they will. And you sit there and you go, but -- who -- it's like the fainting sheep, my second favorite thing on the face of the earth. Sheep, when you startle them, kind of go, Oh! And they fall out.

VAN SUSTEREN: Is that true, they really (INAUDIBLE)

GOLDBERG: Yes, they do. They fall right out. They're called meat sheep. If I was called meat sheep, I would fall out, too, if somebody startled me. But yes, I mean, these are things that a lot of people know in the back of their minds because they've learned strange and bizarre things, and this is the place where you kind of bring them to the forefront because most of us love "Jeopardy." A lot of people love "Jeopardy." I could never play it because it's too esoteric to me. This is -- this is Whoopi Goldberg-style "Jeopardy"!

VAN SUSTEREN: You know, I might -- I might have liked sciences studying it this way because when I was in college, we had a certain requirement for science credits, and I shouldn't -- I shouldn't be admitting this, but I was so pathetic in science that I took history of dentistry because it gave me two more credits to meet my requirements.

GOLDBERG: Right.

VAN SUSTEREN: I was doing everything I could to avoid science, and I was taking -- and because that was two credits, I nabbed it.

GOLDBERG: Yes. Well, I'm telling you, this show -- it comes on Saturday nights at 9:00, and the reception -- people just...

VAN SUSTEREN: On?

GOLDBERG: On Science Channel.

VAN SUSTEREN: OK.

GOLDBERG: And people were outstanding about it. I mean, they gave -- you know, they came in droves to watch it, and all ages, you know, little kids, grown folks, because there's no one on the face of the earth who can't play this game. That's what's great about it. You don't have to be a rocket scientist. You don't have to be the world's smartest person. You just have to be open to stuff. And then you can come and meet up with your friends and entertain them with great and wonderful facts, like we just did.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

VAN SUSTEREN: Up next, more with Whoopi. Now, this time, she's going to give you the inside story about "The View." That's what's next. And Whoopi's going to tell you what she likes and doesn't like about that smash daytime talk show. Whoopi next.

And later: Job creation. A new job created by the White House fashion police. Is the White House spending your tax dollars to give -- ready for this? -- fashion advice to Justice Sonia Sotomayor? It's not a joke. We have a report.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

VAN SUSTEREN: More with Whoopi Goldberg.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

VAN SUSTEREN: (INAUDIBLE) Whoopi, it's, like -- you have "The View." You're doing this show. You've won every single award -- Grammy, Oscar. I mean, you've won all the awards. You do stand-up comedy. Is this -- now an author (INAUDIBLE) author. What -- there's not much left to do, is there?

GOLDBERG: Oh, there's always stuff to do. I -- my biggest fear in life is getting bored with myself. So I don't want to be bored with myself, so I try to find stuff that interests me. Or someone will say, Well, do you want to do another kids' book? Because, you know, I think I've done -- this is my third, right, "Alice," "Big Book of Manners" and then this series. So it's my third kids' book.

And then I wrote the adults' ``Book,'' and I'm working on another book, which I think will end up being "The Big Book of Manners for Adults" because I find that most adults don't have very many manners. They just come up and touch you. You know, they -- if somebody sees you're pregnant, they just put their hands on you. They say bizarre stuff to you. And you know, just getting -- making barriers, a little bit of space between you and what someone else wants you to be, is really a big part of my life these days.

VAN SUSTEREN: "The View" doesn't bore you.

GOLDBERG: No, "The View" doesn't bore me, but it is -- it is a different kind of world for me. I mean, you know, and there are things that we have to talk about, like reality shows, that's not something that I really care about. I don't...

VAN SUSTEREN: But you learn about it. I mean, it's new. I mean...

GOLDBERG: I know, but it's -- and some information -- I don't need to know about Jon and Kate. I don't care, you know? But I know that in order to be part of this, that's part of what I need to know, or "Dancing With the Stars." I love "Dancing With the Stars" because Tom Bergeron is the host, and he's my friend.

VAN SUSTEREN: How about Tom DeLay as the -- did you see those red pants he danced in?

GOLDBERG: I saw those red pants.

VAN SUSTEREN: Where'd he buy those?

GOLDBERG: No, no. I think they -- they're provided for you.

VAN SUSTEREN: I never saw any pants...

GOLDBERG: I don't know why they let him wear those.

VAN SUSTEREN: The red pants were...

GOLDBERG: And he was shaking his behind, which scared me!

VAN SUSTEREN: And he hasn't been on "The View," has he?

GOLDBERG: I don't -- I don't know.

VAN SUSTEREN: You ought to get him on. You ought to get him on to dance for you guys.

GOLDBERG: Well, I don't know. Has he been thrown off already? Oh, no, he had to stop...

VAN SUSTEREN: Yes, yes, he...

GOLDBERG: ... because of...

VAN SUSTEREN: Medical...

GOLDBERG: ... his foot.

VAN SUSTEREN: Yes.

GOLDBERG: Yes, you know, he's -- he's having issues, so I mean, he might not be able to come, but...

VAN SUSTEREN: I guess not.

GOLDBERG: You know, there's lots of stuff that I'm learning, you know, lots of stuff -- lots of stuff that is shocking to me and some stuff that's really fun, like, I love talking with them.

VAN SUSTEREN: You know what I loved? And you -- you're sick of this hearing this because probably every fan does this to you, but loved "Sister Act."

GOLDBERG: Oh, yes?

VAN SUSTEREN: Can I say it's one of my -- I can watch that movie 50 times. I went to Catholic grade school and Catholic high school.

GOLDBERG: Ah, yes. That's why.

VAN SUSTEREN: And that is -- that's -- that's one of my favorite movies.

GOLDBERG: Well, you need to go to London because we have it on stage right now. It's a musical and it's actually pretty good. And it's coming to the U.S. I think not next year, or latter part of next year.

VAN SUSTEREN: (INAUDIBLE) I mean, are you sick of hearing that?

GOLDBERG: No. I mean, listen, I -- a lot of people don't get to be in the position that I'm in, and that is, I can do and be myself. And people will always want to know what -- they might not always like it, but they are willing to stay with me as a -- as an entity in the world, which is great because I've been around almost 24, 25 years. And I've had a wonderfully strange career which goes up and down and over here and over there, you know? So without people saying, You know, I actually like what you do -- if I don't have them, I don't have anything, you know?

VAN SUSTEREN: But you say it goes up and down. I mean, from the outside looking at, you know, when I go through everything you've done, is that it doesn't seem like there was ever a dip.

GOLDBERG: Oh, yes.

VAN SUSTEREN: I mean, you have, like -- you really have -- you've hit everything, it looks like from the outside.

GOLDBERG: Right. Well, no, there's -- there have been a lot of dips. You know, I didn't work for four or five years and that was kind of bizarre because I had never in my adult life not been able to find a job, but the truth was, I couldn't find a job. And some guys who ran a radio -- Clear Channel -- came and said, Would you be interested in doing a radio show? And thank God they did because they really carried me. And then "The View" came along and said, Well, we have a space if you're interested. And I -- yes, because I could stay home and wait to be asked to do something, you know, as the "movie star," but then I'd be starving, you know, because (INAUDIBLE) I'm in that 'tween period, you know.

VAN SUSTEREN: I mean, I know that -- you know, that the jobs are very different that you've done, but if you could only do one -- write, stand- up, movies, "The View," produce -- I mean, out of all those...

GOLDBERG: I'd invent a new category that engulfed all of them.

VAN SUSTEREN: No, no. Come on. Let me...

GOLDBERG: No, no!

VAN SUSTEREN: Which is the...

GOLDBERG: There is no one.

VAN SUSTEREN: Which is the most fun?

GOLDBERG: All of...

VAN SUSTEREN: I know they're all fun, but is there one that, like...

GOLDBERG: No! It's -- for me, it's all equal because if you don't love what you do, the performance, if you don't love performance, then you're not going to love watching other people perform, so you're not going to love producing stuff because you're not going to be connected to it, so...

VAN SUSTEREN: You ever get nervous?

GOLDBERG: All the time.

VAN SUSTEREN: Really?

GOLDBERG: Yes, all the time.

VAN SUSTEREN: Get ready for "The View," you get nervous? You don't get nervous with "The View."

GOLDBERG: Oh, no, with "The View," no, no, no, no, no.

VAN SUSTEREN: When do you get nervous?

GOLDBERG: I get nervous when I go to work, when I just, you know, go out on -- do the casinos and stuff.

VAN SUSTEREN: Stand-up.

GOLDBERG: I'm nervous -- well, I don't actually do stand-up because stand-up is, like, joke, joke, joke, joke. You have to -- you have to be on top of everything when you're a stand-up. I don't do stand-up. I tell stories. I muse, you know? So I -- I have my own little form of stuff. But you know, yes, I always get nervous because I think, Well, maybe people don't want to hear what you have to say because, you know, very heady when you do it. You think, Oh, yes, I'm going to perform right now and tell you my thoughts. And sometimes you look out and you say, Oh, what if they (INAUDIBLE) what if they say, Why aren't you funnier? We want the movie!

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDBERG: We want you to be like you are in the movies. So so far, so good.

VAN SUSTEREN: Indeed, so far, so good. And it's extraordinary -- the books, the show, everything. It's, like...

GOLDBERG: You like those books.

VAN SUSTEREN: I do like the books. I do like the books. And I look forward to the adult manners. I got one -- I'll tip you off after we quit -- a manner that I -- something that bugs me.

GOLDBERG: OK.

VAN SUSTEREN: I'll tell you afterwards.

GOLDBERG: Cool.

VAN SUSTEREN: But anyway, thank you for joining us.

GOLDBERG: Thanks for having me, Greta.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

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