Updated

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 2, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino, along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Bob Beckel, Eric Bolling, and my little friend, Greg Gutfeld.

It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is "The Five."

Moments from now, President Obama is scheduled to meet with congressional leadership at the White House. And in attendance will be Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi.

So, what can be accomplished if everyone's dug in their heels?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIPS)

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: I will not negotiate over Congress's responsibility to pay bills it's already racked up.

REP. STENY HOYER, D-MD.: Republicans' piecemeal approach is a waste of time. It's a gimmick. It's a ploy. It's politics as usual.

WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY JAY CARNEY: He will not offer concession to Republican in exchange for not tanking the economy. So today's meeting is about the need to open the government.

(END VIDEO CLIPS)

PERINO: All right. So, Eric, is this upcoming meeting, and it's going to happen in about 29 minutes, a photo op or a chance for real progress?

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: I'm not sure what -- personally, here's what I think. This is what we do, we speculate. I speculate that they're going to -- both sides are going to be dug in, entrenched themselves. We're not going to sign anything.

The Democrats aren't going to sign anything that's not a clean resolution. They don't want any amendments to it. They don't want any riders. They just want what they've already passed. If they don't get that, they're going to say no.

On the right, they're going to keep trying. Let's try funding this part. Let's try funding this part.

My guess is it's going to go right into October 17th, the debt ceiling debate. And then maybe there's so much at stake, there's more at stake than just this government shutdown. There's more at stake than just writing the checks which neither one of them are catastrophic in and of themselves. I don't think together they're either. But there's more at stake.

And I think the American people just say, all right, guys, get your crap together and do something. Fix it. Just get it done.

PERINO: If you were John Boehner and Mitch McConnell, Greg, if you were, this is going to be --

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: It's hard to be two people, Dana.

PERINO: Wouldn't you say to President Obama, if we send you a clean C.R. that says that the government must live by the same rules as the rest of America, you'll sign that, won't you, sir?

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Wouldn't you say that?

GUTFELD: Yes, that's the ideal way because if they don't sign it, then they've got to run against that. They've got to say that we think we're better than everybody else.

But I think what you're learning here is you realize that shutting down the government reveals how the government really look at Americans. They look at you as a wallet. And when you decide to ground the government for a week, they throw a tantrum.

And when in this tantrum, what they do is they hurt the very people they're supposed to help. They are basically saying, if you don't -- if you don't fund us, I'm going to shoot this dog. It's an exercise in self- preservation.

But I have a question. Why does President Obama hate the terminally ill veterans? Why does he hate them? I mean, what's next? Will Harry Reid hate kids with cancer?

I mean, what is next, Bob?

PERINO: That would never happen.

GUTFELD: What is next?

You know what they tell us? We have to turn the other cheek when Harry Reid says stuff like that, but they never turn the other cheek when a Republican says something, when Romney said about the 47 percent, how -- he doesn't care about the 47 percent -- we knew what he meant. This guy gives more money to charity than anybody, but they made him seem like an uncaring fool.

However, we have to turn the other cheek because we know Harry Reid really didn't mean what he said, right?

BOLLING: We were running out of cheeks.

GUTFELD: We're running out of cheeks. I have four.

PERINO: Bend over.

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Who's Romney?

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Oh, wow, Dana. Uncalled for.

PERINO: No.

GUILFOYLE: No, she said bend over.

PERINO: Turn the other cheek. That's what I meant.

(CROSSTALK)

GUILFOYLE: What happened? Don't say us. You, Bob.

PERINO: Yes, Bob.

Hey, Bob, let me ask you something. In 1994, the Republicans ran against Washington, D.C. and they won Congress in a landslide. Just over the past couple days, people -- the polls initially said that Democrats would come out the winners in this debate.

But do you think the longer it goes on and the theater of the absurd that we're watching that it's possible that the Republicans could turn this chaos into an opportunity?

BECKEL: Well, if it went on for six or seven months, maybe. But I'll tell you, Eric made a point here, and this is what's going to happen.

Neither one of them are going to budge on the C.R. They can't. They won't get enough out of that thing. They have to take health care like everybody else.

They're going to put a package together that's going so include both -- they're going to attach the debt ceiling into the C.R., and then one or two things, cosmetic things, that the Republicans can say, OK, we can live that and they're going to go on, because what's happening is Republicans are about at the edge here and about to lose their moderate Republicans, moderate conservative Republicans who are furious with the right wing of the Republican Party.

There will be a deal, but it will be about the 17th.

PERINO: Kimberly, you've been in high-stakes negotiations before, obviously.

BECKEL: Yes, with your husband in divorce court.

PERINO: I meant of a legal nature, Bob.

What would you advise for either the Democrats or the Republicans going into this meeting with President Obama?

GUILFOYLE: I think they have to be careful to not get lost in their own rhetoric where they're really becoming entrenched and focused on just getting their own objective and think about really what the American people want and what they need and what's going to work.

So, you have to be willing to compromise. Otherwise you look just as bad as the other side. So be willing to come to the table, make some concession that you feel are meaningful that you can live with because to have this sort of go on unending is only going to hurt ultimately all of us out here, the taxpayers.

I mean, pull it together. Govern because that's what we're paying you to do.

PERINO: Your thoughts -- Eric, you're nodding?

BOLLING: I agree with everyone at the table, which is scary.

PERINO: That's so weird.

BOLLING: We've never agreed on one thing on this thing.

Can we just talk about the 800,000 nonessentials for a second? Now, there's a lot of talking points, people -- Twitter is going crazy. Really 800,000 doesn't mean it's too big, but maybe it does. I mean, 800,000 are considered nonessential. Isn't there a way to slash 80,000 or 100,000 jobs here and maybe save the taxpayer --

BECKEL: They already have.

BOLLING: No, no, but I'm saying that maybe save the tax -- if 800,000 are nonessential, isn't there 100,000 that we can phase out, or let their contract end and move on?

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: -- six years ago.

GUTFELD: Can I point out 93 percent of the EPA is considered nonessential? They have more dead weight than Forest Lawn. I mean, come on.

GUILFOYLE: Does that bother you? Get rid of them.

BOLLING: Wait, wait, you have to reference what Forest Lawn is.

GUTFELD: It's the national cemetery.

PERINO: You're dying to get in there.

GUTFELD: Oh ladies and gentlemen, Dana Perino.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God. You guys should take your show on the road.

GUTFELD: Can I just point out to, because I want to use my twisted metaphor with these negotiations. With these negotiations, you cannot expect -- we never should have expected President Obama to give up ObamaCare. It's like asking Brian Austin Green to give up Megan Fox. It's the only thing he has.

BECKEL: Who are they --

GUILFOYLE: No, he's got the re-run of "90210."

GUTFELD: All right.

GUILFOYLE: Come on.

(CROSSTALK)

GUILFOYLE: Thank you very much. It's Megan Fox. Brian Austin Green. They're married.

GUTFELD: Ninety-three percent of the EPA is nonessential. What does that tell you?

PERINO: But when they're working, they're actually making life hell for millions of Americans.

BOLLING: Can I point out one other thing that's going on -- along the board, a couple people have e-mailed me. Look, I have brother and sisters who work the border patrol. They're told to go to work. So, they're not being paid.

Well, they would be paid. But what they've done is taken the human resource people, the people who cut the checks and made them nonessential so the checks aren't going out. So, all these people with families are going, wait a minute. I have to go to work. Some of these are risky jobs. I have to go to work, risk my life, and my check may or may not be in the mail.

It is time to make some deals --

BECKEL: Your assumption by saying 800,000 nonessentials, it doesn't mean that the government is too big.

BOLLING: It's not an assumption.

BECKEL: I understand that's what they call them under the deal they worked out for only emergency-level people. But the point is, there are far fewer federal workers today than there were 10 years ago.

BOLLING: Wrong.

BECKEL: You want to bet?

BOLLING: Yes.

PERINO: OK.

BECKEL: I don't mean --

GUILFOYLE: Bet, bet, bet.

BECKEL: I'm talking about people on the federal payroll.

BOLLING: Yes.

GUILFOYLE: Who wants to bet?

BOLLING: I do.

PERINO: Are you counting the navigators of ObamaCare, Bob?

BECKEL: I'm talking about people on the federal payroll.

PERINO: OK, all right. We're going to check on that bet.

GUILFOYLE: Make the bet and wear that pirate puppy shirt again. That was awesome.

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: President Obama put something like 200,000 or 300,000 additional people on when he took office, 200,000, whatever.

PERINO: Through the stimulus.

BOLLING: We'll find out.

PERINO: Can we talk about one other thing that is getting a lot of attention? The reason I said that politic is theater and this is the theater of the absurd is that every crisis seems to center on certain metaphor. And this has been the National Parks Service, for this particular crisis, and in particular, the crisis is the World War II veterans who yesterday broke down the barriers that apparently the White House ordered to be up in this open-air park. It doesn't seem to make any sense.

And this vet -- I think we have the sound bite from Ted Galt, a World War II veteran. Listen to him.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TED GAULT, WWII VETERAN: It's crazy seeing those people wanting to come in and can't come in. And then you meet the senator or representatives that are out here, and they're the one that are causing the damn problem to start with.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: I think he, in a sound bite, he just summed up how everybody feel about it.

Bob, why were you groaning?

BECKEL: I was groaning because as usual, we pick out this one instance -- you think that the White House sat around and said, gee, let's figure out a way to take dying veterans, make sure they can't go to the World War II --

GUTFELD: Yes.

BECKEL: That's ridiculous.

(CROSSTALK)

GUILFOYLE: Yes.

BECKEL: There was -- every park, every national park is supposed to be closed because it was the Republicans who did that. In this case, the idea, the assumption that the White House would do something like this is - - that's about as partisan -- of course, on our show today, (INAUDIBLE) by the producer, of course, we added in this old boy here to make that point.

We don't add in any of the welfare mothers who aren't going to get stuff. No, we don't do that.

BOLLING: First of all, there aren't any of those yet, Bob. I mean, I know you're talking about WIC. WIC still has money for about another week or so. Going forward, I guarantee those Congress people will make sure they have money.

GUTFELD: Can I say something? If it wasn't for that old boy, you wouldn't have people on WIC. He created a country that allows a lot of people to be alive today and enjoy the dependency that you so richly complement.

GUILFOYLE: Entitlements.

BECKEL: God bless America --

GUTFELD: Well, you can mock it. We're in an age of bizarre priorities where we are punishing World War II vets but we seek out protections for the delta smelt.

BECKEL: It is not we. It is the Republican Party that's done that.

GUILFOYLE: Bob, you're so quick to demonize the Republican and then you find it like appalling if anybody points out things that the Democrats or the liberals do. So, it's just -- you know, a little bit of hypocrisy.

BECKEL: (INAUDIBLE) Democrats or liberals do it every day at this table.

PERINO: Let's look at something that was a part of the parks service. This is amazing.

So, the National Parks Service basically tried to close and said they could not open the Claude Moore Colonial Farm. You know where that is, Bob. It's in the even federally funded. It was cut in 1980.

So, why would you put a barrier to something that's privately funded?

BECKEL: Even the World War II Memorial, that was paid for by private funds. And there's no reason -- somebody's going to finally figure out that you can't stop people to going for something that's paid for by private fund.

PERINO: OK. So why did they try?

BECKEL: I have no idea.

PERINO: I think it's because they wanted to insert some sort of pain, as they screw down the nut, then you'll start to feel like oh, my gosh, we have to compromise.

BECKEL: I know you don't think much of the operations of the White House, but I think there's four or five other things I could have thought of before I did dying, paralyzed, wounded World War II veterans.

BOLLING: You know what this is? This is the sequest -- this is closing the White House for tours for kids and during the sequester, that's what the World War II Memorial is to this but debate.

PERINO: And then they came out --

BOLLING: And as Dana points -- what's it called? The Washington Monument --

PERINO: Oh, the Washington Monument strategy.

BOLLING: Strategy, right.

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: In order to close these places down, you actually have to hire more staff than was actually needed to keep it open. So only a government could turn a shutdown into an expansion. Even as it shrinks, it grows. It's like the blob, Kimberly.

BECKEL: Why don't we just do away with all that's national parks and monuments?

PERINO: You mean and privately fund them?

BOLLING: Yes.

PERINO: Well --

BECKEL: Privatize them, let them drill oil there.

GUTFELD: Put some outlets.

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: Build some Motel 6s on them.

GUTFELD: I'd like to see a casino on the top of Mt. Rushmore.

BECKEL: I bet you would, a casino. And then take those big --

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: And hang big, like, Motel 6s off of them.

GUILFOYLE: See, Bob wants gambling and Motel 6.

GUTFELD: He gambles out of Motel 6, but not with money.

BECKEL: Put quarters in them, the bed moves.

GUILFOYLE: What?

PERINO: My grandparents used to own one of those motels -- one of those motels in Rawlins, Wyoming.

GUILFOYLE: With the vibrating bed?

PERINO: Yes.

BECKEL: I thought you were straight. You came from --

PERINO: I never knew what those were for.

GUTFELD: That vibrating bed is a medical device which could get taxed under Obama.

BECKEL: That's true. That's why --

GUILFOYLE: Yes, but did you know that in hospitals they have those beds to help prevent bed sores.

BOLLING: Find a quarter and a nickel.

(LAUGHTER)

BOLLING: Prices are going up.

BECKEL: That's not the trouble. It's the fellow gets somebody -- never mind.

GUILFOYLE: Leave it there, please.

PERINO: You know what would be a really good way to solve this problem?

GUILFOYLE: What?

PERINO: If when the president invites the press corps in to get their pictures, if a reporter were to shout out a question and all of a sudden President Obama had a thought, he's, like, oh, we could do this. But that would never happen. So let's not do it.

And then they would stumble upon a solution just like in Syria. Remember when John Kerry came up with that idea because of a reporter's question?

BECKEL: It's a very easy way to get everybody out from under this. The Republicans just do what they're supposed to do and get a continuing resolution and fight ObamaCare another way.

BOLLING: Well, maybe President Obama could ask Vladimir Putin how to fix this.

BECKEL: Well, you can ask -- Dan (INAUDIBLE), what's the name down in Texas? Who's that senator down in Texas?

BOLLING: Cruz?

BECKEL: Cruz, that's right.

GUILFOYLE: Van Dykstra (ph)? Where do you get this?

GUTFELD: He played for the Phillies, I guess. Van Dykstra? I don't know what that -- Bob is right. There's no emergency brake on a falling anvil. So, you just got to let if fall and the Republicans got to figure out a way to turn these exchanges into something competitive and hopefully turn it into a free market.

BECKEL: That's exactly the right point.

GUILFOYLE: The FMS, free market solution.

BECKEL: And you all apparently are convinced, this thing is going to fall of its own weight, and soon let it fall.

PERINO: I think it will take years.

GUILFOYLE: It's not going to that quick.

PERINO: The destruction of the country will be this slow slide.

GUILFOYLE: Like a landslide.

BOLLING: Can we offer a free market solution to this?

PERINO: Yes.

BOLLING: Make ObamaCare optional. If it's so darn good and such a great idea --

GUILFOYLE: People will sign up.

BOLLING: -- just offer it.

GUTFELD: Yes, like the post office.

BOLLING: Finance it and offer it.

(CROSSTALK)

GUILFOYLE: Rather than being mandatory and penalizing people which is unprecedented.

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: What's wrong with that, Bob?

BECKEL: I was going to ask you a question about mortgage-backed securities. That's what I want to know.

GUILFOYLE: Bob's pivoting right now.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Well, that was a fantastic "A" block. I want to thank all of you for participating.

GUILFOYLE: Thank you for being here.

PERINO: Thank you so much.

BECKEL: Thank you very much.

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: Directly ahead, more evidence some members of the mainstream media are choosing sides in the shutdown and the ObamaCare debate. We're going to tell you who when we come back.

GUILFOYLE: Nice.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BOLLING: It's FOX News alert. You're looking at a live shot outside the White House. Congressional leaders are arriving for their 5:30 p.m. Eastern Time meeting with the president on the government shutdown expected to attend, John Boehner, Harry Reid, Mitch McConnell -- it's actually good video -- and Nancy Pelosi.

You see that SUV right there? Hold on. Just take a look. Once in a while, you know, it could be Pelosi, could be Reid.

GUTFELD: It could be a Kardashian.

GUILFOYLE: This is more riveting than the O.J. case.

BOLLING: But this is very interesting.

(CROSSTALK)

GUILFOYLE: Kanye West.

BOLLING: These caravans pull up alongside the White House. People come out and they go and do their meeting.

BECKEL: You think somebody should cut that three down?

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: It's probably Harry Reid waiting for somebody to open the door for him.

GUILFOYLE: Let's see.

PERINO: Well, they're kind of required to.

BOLLING: That's it. All right. He may be sitting there for a while.

Anyway, yesterday, we told you how the mainstream media was in the tank for President Obama in this debate. It's day two of the shutdown, and here are two more excellent examples from the big newspaper. "The New York Times" editorial page, look, "John Boehner's shutdown". And "Washington Post" editorial this morning, "House Republicans are failing Americans in their effort to kill ObamaCare."

But this one got me. Matt Lauer can't see both sides of this issue, only the president's.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MATT LAUER, NBC: I thought Chris Matthews put it pretty well yesterday. He said, the Republican are asking the president for something he can't give them, by asking that this health care law be delayed or dismantled. That's his baby, and nobody can give away their baby.

So, can this end unless the Republicans are willing to walk away with nothing?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: Greg, no one puts baby in a corner.

GUTFELD: Yes, Matt Lauer says, "I thought Chris Matthews put it pretty well" -- was he referring to his tongue?

You know, the media, they aren't just mouthpieces. They're not just mouthpieces. They are sock puppets with Obama's hand stuck firmly up their rumps.

It's not damage control for the president. It's damage enhancement.

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: I want to you watch this fascinating video we've got here.

BOLLING: All right. Stop it, Bob.

BECKEL: OK, fine.

BOLLING: Like I said, it's probably Harry Reid getting the last sip of whatever.

BECKEL: That's good. That's really good.

BOLLING: K.G., can I show you -- guys, take a look at the front of the "Daily News." can you read this? Am I allowed to do this?

GUILFOYLE: I don't know.

BOLLING: What did you do for your country? And they have a picture --

GUILFOYLE: For our country.

BOLLING: -- of Boehner and Ted Cruz.

GUILFOYLE: Right.

BOLLLING: I'm just curious -- stuff's falling out -- what does president do? If they're making the assertion that these two guys didn't serve in the military, neither did President Obama.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, that's an argument that falls flat on its face because there is no substance behind it. I mean, they're getting -- continue to demonize, right, and try and point out personal individuals like Boehner, et cetera, this is his personal responsibility. It's his fault and he's bad for the America, and he's against the Americans, which the evidence isn't supporting that.

I think they should be allowed to stand on principle and do what they think is in the best interest of the United States, the taxpayers. And if they don't think this thing is worth it and it's not work, then don't go for it. Ask for modifications.

BOLLING: How do they reach the conclusion that shutting down the government is in the best taxpayers' interest? Leave ago side --

GUILFOYLE: It's a negotiating tactic.

BECKEL: It ain't going to work.

GUILFOYLE: Bring them to this table, to get them to make some concessions that they feel are meaningful. That's the deal.

BECKEL: But their own caucus members --

GUILFOYLE: They're holding the line.

BECKEL: -- moderate conservatives are saying it's not going to work.

GUILFOYLE: The car pulled away.

BOLLING: Jump in here, Dana.

PERINO: On the Matt Lauer thing, I think that his question was actually what a lot of other people have been saying, which is live to fight another day. Move on. You knew you were never going to get this. You've had your fun, or you've had -- you've tried to bring the pain, and now you should move on. I didn't think (INAUDIBLE).

The editorials, I would say, are not that surprising.

What is really strange is that despite all the mainstream media support that the president has gotten on this bill, they still -- the approval number for the legislation are still so bad. And I don't -- there seems to be a big disconnect between what the media is reporting and what people are feeling about this bill.

GUILFOYLE: Bob, can I tell you --

BOLLING: You are such a child.

GUILFOYLE: He is so immature.

BECKEL: You usually have this thing (ph), you open them up and you get to have a free sample.

GUIFOYLE: That's how Bob is. He's so distracted. He's pressing the Nautica thing.

BOLLING: Hang in there.

BECKEL: This is a picture of the White House.

BOLLING: Take a look at the famed journalist Carl Bernstein compare Republicans to Joe McCarthy, the senator who some say (INAUDIBLE) by accusing them him of working of the communist movement, other say McCarthy was misunderstood. Watch.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CARL BERNSTEIN, JOURNALIST: Eric Cantor and his Republican Party, one of the most dangerous demagogic force in America since Joe McCarthy, and that's what this is about. And it's about the parts of the Republican Party that are willing to appease this awful force.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: Greg?

BECKEL: Oh, yes, Joe McCarthy, yes.

GUTFELD: If Boehner is Joe McCarthy, Carl Bernstein is Charlie McCarthy. The last time we heard from this guy, Hawaii was still a territory.

I don't know. You know what's funny? They keep referring it ObamaCare as historic, which is actually value free. The bird flu and the 1906 earthquake were also historic, but they were bad.

BECKEL: Well, I will get to this in my one more thing.

GULFOYLE: Good point. Just like the earthquake in San Francisco.

BECKEL: But there were a lot of people who yesterday got a chance for the first time in their lives to get health insurance, and I think it's a wonderful thing.

GUTFELD: And so many signed up, right, Bob?

BECKEL: They did.

GUTFELD: Zero.

BECKEL: That's wrong.

PERINO: For the first time in their life, honestly, Bob.

BECKEL: No, really.

PERINO: If you didn't have health insurance, there was a way for you to get help through Medicaid or Medicare, if you're older. There's lots of different programs that if you had no way to get help. I understand the anxiety of not having health insurance if you are employed and your employer doesn't provide for it and you don't qualify for Medicaid. But to say that there are millions of people who never had a chance at health care --

GUILFOYLE: It's just not true, Bob.

But also, anybody can walk in any hospital and they can be treated and receive medical attention.

BECKEL: And five times more expensive.

GUILFOYLE: But you know what? But a lot of times people do need to go when they have an emergency. You go to the emergency room. You sort it out after. They can try to collect from you after. But you will be treated.

GUTFELD: Bob, nobody, as of 4:00 yesterday, signed up for ObamaCare in Louisiana. Technically, I did a better job signing up people for ObamaCare.

GUILFOYLE: And they had all the computer glitches and all the hackers.

BECKEL: My cousin has big toe insurance. I mean, you're going to find 1,000 things you can nitpick about it. The fact is, let's get back to what it is, it's the law of the land, you're lost and you get used to it.

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: -- how the mainstream media has leaned towards President Obama and attacked the far right. Let's not forget what made the far right the far right. The Tea Party made the far right the far right. The reason the Tea Party is even around right now is because of ObamaCare and President Obama.

So, attack him all you want. But they were sent to Congress for a reason.

BECKEL: I don't attack them. They made a big statement in 2010. But you seem to think that they're some major part of the American --

BOLLING: Anarchist, arsonists, racists, blackmailers, kidnappers. I mean, I would call that attack. We're going to leave it there.

Next, does anybody in America really understand why Bob is talking during my tease and what ObamaCare is all about? Jimmy Kimmel's hit show hit the streets to find out.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Which plan do you support in ObamaCare or the Affordable Care Act?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The Affordable Care Act.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So the Affordable Care Act is more affordable than ObamaCare?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Just the name says it all.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Right.

You would agree with the Affordable Care Act?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Absolutely.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: All right. The highlights from day two of the ObamaCare rollout when we come right back.

GUILFOYLE: That's a trick question.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUILFOYLE: This is a FOX News alert. You are looking live outside the White House where congressional leaders are arriving for a 5:30 meeting with President Obama.

In the meantime, does anybody really understand ObamaCare? No. Jimmy Kimmel sent one of his people out to see how much the American people really know about the president's health care law.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You think the Affordable Care Act is a better plan than ObamaCare?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Better but I'm not happy with that either.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So the Affordable Care Act is more affordable than ObamaCare?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Just the name says it all.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The Affordable Care Act.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Why do you support that over ObamaCare?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I do not like ObamaCare. I don't like anything that has to be forced.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you believe that an informed citizenry is essential to a democracy?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you know that ObamaCare and the Affordable Care Act are the same thing?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No, they're not. Thanks. You made me look stupid.

(END VIDEO CLIPS)

GUILFOYLE: She was cute. And there was one smart one in there.

Other than that, nobody even knows what the name is. It's like a synonym for it, right?

BECKEL: What's coming up in the scene right here of this new show?

PERINO: That's at the White House, Bob.

BECKEL: OK.

PERINO: I think that if you look at any of the current event polls, when they do these funny videos, then go out and ask people, they're not focused on it, but there is a general feeling of anxiety about ObamaCare and people -- the majority of people do not like it.

Now, that could change. Maybe when they go window shopping and all the exchange will say, wow! My gosh! This is amazing. But I doubt it.

GUILFOYLE: So, that's the communications part.

So, Eric, from the strategy perspective, what did the White House do wrong? What do you think they could have done better or even the Republicans, for that matter?

BOLLING: I don't -- I don't know. I think the majority of Americans aren't even involved in Affordable Care, ObamaCare, politics, they couldn't even tell you who the vice president is. Unfortunately, that's what we're stuck with misinformed or uninformed, doesn't care anymore or doesn't care.

GUILFOYLE: But how do you make people care? If you're the Republicans, how do you get them to understand their position to say this does matter, and you should care?

BOLLING: They're not going to care until they realize on their IRS tax form they have to fill out the thing that says, I have insurance. If I don't have enough insurance, I might have to get more or get a penalty.

BECKEL: Why don't you say everybody's against ObamaCare?

BOLLING: No, I said 51 percent of Americans are according to "The New York Times" and CBS --

GUILFOYLE: That's the majority.

BOLLING: -- 51 percent are against it, opposed to it.

BECKEL: If you put Affordable Care Act on that poll as opposed to ObamaCare, what do you think --

BOLLING: What do you think "The New York Times" did, Bob? Do you think they leaned it right? No --

BECKEL: You put ObamaCare, if you put the Affordable Care Act on. See what these people were saying?

PERINO: Yes.

GUILFOYLE: Because they said the name says it all.

BECKEL: What I'm saying is had you say ObamaCare, they don't know what the. The problem is they don't like Obama and they're beginning to barrage --

BOLLING: Fifty-one percent of the people from a "New York Times" and a CBS News poll oppose ObamaCare.

BECKEL: That's correct.

BOLLING: If they called it Affordable Care Act --

BECKEL: They'd probably go down to 40.

GUILFOYLE: Bob thinks it's all good then, the majority that would be in favor.

Greg, you say? Semantic gymnastics.

GUTFELD: I mean, the biggest concern for Obama is public awareness. The majority of people who don't know about it don't know how bad it is. The people that do know about it hate it. It's the government version of a colonic, people tell you to get one and then you get it, and you hate it.

Enrolment in Connecticut, they processed 167 people. That's less traffic than Bob's bedroom.

BECKEL: Last weekend.

GUILFOYLE: So gross.

GUTFELD: There are more bugs in the system than a protester's hair. They try to compare this to a commercial product of private enterprise. They claim it's a glitch. But a glitch in a private bathroom is OK. A glitch in a public bathroom is a nightmare.

You can't keep comparing this to like Apple or Windows. It's not.

We talked about is this yesterday.

GUILFOYLE: Yes.

GUTFELD: The iPhone has 60 language settings. ObamaCare has 150 languages because they don't have to stop because it's not their money. If they had their way, they would have had Vulcan and Kling-on included in there because we're paying for it.

GUILFOYLE: That's probably next.

BECKEL: Somebody stopped and asked me, where does Greg come up with all these metaphors? Where do you come up on them?

GUTFELD: I am extremely bored.

GUILFOYLE: Somebody -- roll me some glitches.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

OBAMA: There are going to be some glitches in the signup process. Just a couple of weeks ago, Apple rolled out a new mobile operating system. And within days, they found a glitch. So they fixed it.

I don't remember anybody suggesting Apple should stop selling iPhone or iPads.

SEN. HARRY REID (D-NV), MAJORITY LEADER: I had a meeting less than a year ago out in California with one of the original founders of Google. He told me when they first came online, oh, did they have problems. They had problem because too many had people wanted to use Google.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECKEL: (INAUDIBLE)

GUILFOYLE: They could hear you, Bob.

BECKEL: Sorry.

(LAUGHTER)

GUILFOYLE: And that's your friend, Harry Reid, looked like he came out of a casket. I'm calling you out.

OK. So he's talking about the glitches. They even Google has glitches.

(CROSSTALK)

GUILFOYLE: No, even -- OK, any iPad, iPhone. Not true. Those work. This doesn't. And a lot of them that tried to go on there to check out what it was about found themselves unable, Eric, to be able to even get on there. And now, you have all the hackers and scam sites that are people trying to get your personal security information and retrieve it from you.

BOLLING: And the funny thing is, you saw this whole mess by giving the GOP what they want. Delay it a year. Fix the glitches. If nothing else, blame it on the glitches is and say, look, we still -- we won. We still -- it's a law. We're going to delay it and fix the glitches.

GUILFOYLE: Dana, what do you think of that idea? Dana?

PERINO: Well, I think in some ways the Republicans need to flip that back on President Obama because he's actually making their point. Government doesn't do business very well. But if you have competitive free-market pressures and allowed the sale of insurance across state lines and let it thrive, we might have -- we might be just completely shocked by what we would be able to do with health insurance and health care in this country.

You'd have more choices. You have more supply. You'd have a lower cost because of the basic laws of supply and demand.

President Obama and Reid are actually making the Republicans point. They just need to flip it back on him.

BECKEL: Why do you think they didn't even think about that, or they don't think that's a good idea?

PERINO: Well, I don't know.

BECKEL: Because it doesn't have any wad down-side politics to it. I'm curious.

PERINO: No, I'm saying, I have a very good point.

BECKEL: They can't go make and amend it. That's what I mean.

GUILFOYLE: She just said. Quick.

PERINO: You mean the actual law?

BECKEL: Yes. I mean say -- you could sell it across state lines.

PERINO: That's not what President Obama wants. He wants a slow, painful task to a single-payer, government-run health care system. That's the goal.

BOLLING: The goal is to have everyone go to the government to get their health care. That's exactly what the goal is.

GUILFOYLE: Greg, real quick and we're going to wrap it up. Go.

GUTFELD: The other solution to escape the effects of politic is to become a politician yourself and then you become exempt.

GUILFOYLE: And then you can opt out of it. Oh, my gosh. There you go. Sign up for public service. Represent.

All right. Next --

BECKEL: I don't understand why they didn't figure that was a negative.

GUILFOYLE: A new update on that wild scene on the street of Manhattan that involved a gang of bikers chasing after an SUV with a family inside. It includes surprising information about whether police there would stop something like this from ever happening again. Don't go away.

BOLLING: They were all chasing Kimberly.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: New York has seen its share of sordid crime.

At Union Square, Jeffrey Babbitt was killed by one bad man's punch.

A creep named David Albert Mitchell raped and robbed a 70-year-old woman in Central Park, slamming her head into the ground. He had raped before.

A young student named Maya Leggitt was pushed in front of a subway by a ghoul. She nearly died.

And on Tuesday, a man armed with scissors in Riverside Park stabbed five people.

So let's review the objects weaponized for mayhem -- a fist, a sidewalk, a train, a pair of scissors. Apparently it's the intent of the person that matters, not the object in hand. The commonality isn't firearm, it's themes.

Now, notice I did not say mentally ill. Often the phrase "mentally ill" is used as a catch-all for a media that can't admit that evil exists. And all these attackers were homeless, which usually engenders sympathy from the press, but they were bad men, angry at the world, and they didn't hide it.

And so we let evil turn public life into an anti-lotto. They choose their targets freely. The winners are announced on the news. But we get it, bad men exist. But how bad must you be to get locked up? What's it really take?

Well, sell some pot and in you go. This year, the police arrested more people for pot than for all violent crimes combined. Every time a cop arrests a punk for drug, that's half his day not spent nailing real vermin. It's about wasted resources being wasted on the wasted. You'd be high not to see how wrong this is.

I want to talk about this, but I also want to talk about the update on the biker gang terrorizing that young family in Manhattan. It's a huge story. There's been a lot of updates.

It turns out, K.G. --

GUILFOYLE: Yes.

GUTFELD: -- that they're not going to prosecute the bikers. They may not press charge. They're very reluctant about this whole thing even though it was clear these guys boxed the driver in to slow him down, to get him off the road. They wanted to get him off the road so they could do their wheelies and their tricks.

GUILFOYLE: Well, the one guy, Cruz, he's charged, OK, and he's charged with the reckless endangerment and endangerment of a child because there was a baby girl in the car, the wife and the individual, obviously, that was assault.

And if you see the video, it's very clear. I mean, any prosecutor could try this case and win. There seems to be a lot of controversy, number one, they took a second guy in. They are not going to press charges against him because they said he wasn't directly involved in the assault.

GUTFELD: Got it.

GUILFOYLE: Perhaps he was trying to help the guy after.

Now, the one guy that was run over, the family's demanding that the driver be prosecuted, but Ray Kelly's saying, listen, you've got to look at the whole circumstances. He was fleeing, he was afraid of his life, afraid for his family and trying to protect them and panicking because he was surrounded and attacked by this mob of motorcycle riders.

Anyway, so it's a complicated case. They're going to have to continue to go through it.

BECKEL: It's not complicated if you look at this -- what this is is a bunch of wussy prosecutors who are afraid to take these guys and prosecute them. You're afraid they're going to run their motorcycles --

GUILFOYLE: No, no, no, Bob, they've got to get the rest of the guys. They were going to get the rest of the guys that were involved.

BECKEL: They're not hard to find. They're a gang around for 15 or 20 years. Find out. Get Cruz. He can't get up of his bed unfortunately. And just waterboard him or whatever you want to do to find out the names of the people. You can't let this go.

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: Don't waterboard --

GUILFOYLE: See how Bob is?

GUTFELD: Yes.

BECKEL: Shoot them.

GUTFELD: Eric, there's new stuff. You just said shoot them.

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: I think there's a point --

BOLLING: Yesterday, I was, like, hey, there's more to the story. Looks like the guy got ran over. You can't just run over people. I've got to admit, I've been completely wrong on this. I didn't see that the one guy who ended up being run over got in front of the SUV on purpose, slowing him down, and then stopped and now this guy's got a kid in the car.

I was completely wrong on this one. I apologize. So --

BECKEL: Why do you think they're not prosecuting this?

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Peter and I had a big fight about this, too.

BECKEL: Why are they not prosecuting them? Seriously?

GUILFOYLE: They're going to. No, Bob, because they don't have the rest of the guy. That's why they keep running the video. Or roll some of the guys to get them to name other people involved.

GUTFELD: Last word to Dana -- are you still going to be part of your motorcycle gang every Sunday? Because you ride every Sunday.

PERINO: Little pink (INAUDIBLE) bikes.

GUTFELD: Yes.

GUILFOYLE: Tiny trikes? Yes.

GUTFELD: All right. Still to come on "The Five", bachelor Bob has some important advice for married or young birds getting married out there or thinking about -- young birds? The medicine's kicking in.

GUILFOYLE: This segment should be a disaster.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECKEL: I just saw a column in "The Wall Street Journal" about advice for millenials before they get hitched. I know a thing or two about marriage, because I was married before, not as many times as Kimberly.

My tip would be don't get married, but if you must, here are some of "The Journal's" five things for young lovers to discuss before tying the knot: student loans, a budget, planning for children, and combing finances and retirement. I can tell you about 15 more, starting with cleaning the bathroom, leaving my stuff alone, don't drive my car --

GUILFOYLE: Putting the seat down.

BECKEL: Putting the seat down. What's that all about? Who cares?

BOLLING: The implication of before you get married, you are supposed to talk about your significant other about student loans? That's not very fun. How awful is that? That's not very fun.

PERINO: What would it be like to get married and then find out they have $100,000 in loan debt?

BOLLING: Don't know.

BECKEL: That's why I wanted a pre-nuptial. That was blown away to start that marriage.

BOLLING: You did or she did?

BECKEL: I wanted it and I should have gotten it.

GUTFELD: There are other things people have to talk about that isn't financial, because people are getting married later, they have pasts that you have discuss with a person you're going to hook with.

My advice is, everything your mother told a woman is correct. If you spend a decade sleeping around, you're going to be a decade older with femoral memories, and then a man your age will marry the you that is ten years younger.

BECKEL: Is that what she said?

GUTFELD: No, I'm just saying, your mom is always right.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: What's wrong, Kimberly?

GUILFOYLE: I don't know. I'm just trying to get out of the segment.

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: What would you talk to your husbands about before you got married? Let me buy into your illusion by two? What did you talk to them about?

GUILFOYLE: What did I talk to them about? What do you mean?

BECKEL: Before you got married? Did you have discussions about student loans? About how to get out?

(CROSSTALK)

(LAUGHTER)

GUILFOYLE: They didn't have any questions. They were just like, yes.

BECKEL: And then the three people here are married, not multiple times. Eric (INAUDIBLE)

Dana, you just had your anniversary?

GUILFOYLE: Fifteen years.

BECKEL: Fifteen years, congratulations. What do you think of these ideas here?

PERINO: Well, I think I would add one serious point which is attitude towards credit. So, you have to assess a potential partner's risk tolerance for debt in the future, because that's where I think a lot of problems in marriages start to fall apart. Like if you are comfortable with a lot of credit card debt or want to be somebody with zero credit card debt, I think that that is a serious question.

And the other thing I would always ask, dog or cat? You can tell a lot about a person if they're a dog person or a cat person.

GUTFELD: You mean dietary habits?

BECKEL: You did not have conversations with your wife before you got married?

BOLLING: No, and to her credit -- by the way, we have a 16th anniversary coming up.

BECKEL: Well, congratulations.

BOLLING: To her credit, I took so many risks in business, just starting business and doing different things and literally risked the whole farm almost on a daily basis, and never once did she bat an eye about it to her credit.

BECKEL: Did you have a discussion with your wife besides she's from Russia and you're not?

GUTFELD: Yes. No, the -- our discussion is that I was getting mad when she buys me clothes and I spent most of our money on alcohol.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, but you like all the stuff --

GUTFELD: She's right. I'm wrong.

BECKEL: Porter said we have to go.

"One More Thing" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: All right. Time now for "One More Thing." I get to kick it off because I went first.

You might have missed this story but you need to look it up. You need to look up a story about the ex-EPA official named John Beal. This guy just had to plead guilty to court for bilking the taxpayers out of a million dollars over his career. He pretended that he was a CIA agent. He got every Friday off, he would take long vacations and say he was in Pakistan when he was at his vacation home in Massachusetts that was co-owned by a former EPA official who used to write all of the air rules.

You guys have to check it out.

BECKEL: That's pretty cruel.

PERINO: It's pretty brilliant to say you are in the CIA and nobody would question you. John Beal, look it up. This is why people get frustrated with Washington bureaucrats.

GUTFELD: It's like saying you used to work in the White House?

PERINO: That's true. I did, though.

GUTFELD: I don't think so. I have seen those pictures, Dana. That's not you.

PERINO: I look really young for my age.

Greg, you're next.

GUTFELD: What was I doing? Oh, "RED EYE", tonight, we got her. She's on.

PERINO: Lame.

GUTFELD: Yes, I know. Do watch anyway, it would be pretty good. Won't be as good as normally --

BOLLING: Does she go by her?

GUTFELD: What?

BOLLING: Does she go by her?

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: Have any of the rest of you been invited to be on Greg's show?

GUILFOYLE: I have --

BECKEL: I was eight months ago. OK, fine.

PERINO: OK, Eric's next.

BOLLING: OK, very quickly. I don't have a lot of time. A great tweet by Senator Rand Paul. Can we just pull, go right to the tweet guys?

"@BarackObama sent seven security guards to the World War II Memorial to keep out our vets. Sadly, that's two more than were present in Benghazi." Great job, Senator. I stand with you, friend.

And also, very quickly, I wrote a little piece for FOX Nation today on what's going on with D.C. Check it out.

PERINO: Yes, I got to look that up.

Kimberly?

GUILFOYLE: I have something great to celebrate. One of the things I used to do with my father and brother was to watch the hurling matches and it's been since 1997 -- I'm an Irish girl, what can I say? Since Ireland and Clare (INAUDIBLE) where my family is out there watching right now.

Clare is the champion for the All-Ireland Hurling, which is incredible. Everybody is celebrating. Shout-out to Michael James, Aunt Teresa and Nola and Vera (ph) because --

GUTFELD: Bob, you did a lot of hurling.

BECKEL: Yes, I did a lot of hurling?

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: I want everybody out there to get into our Facebook and send us a note, and tell us the one thing that was not said for the first time in this show in over a year.

PERINO: Jasper!

BOLLING: Jasper!

PERINO: That's it for "The Five." Thank you for watching. We'll see you tomorrow.

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