Wedding industry takes big financial hit from COVID-19

This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," April 11, 2020. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Well, it's time for our weekly check in. So, how is everybody? Your hands washed? No touching everyone? Good. You haven't tried to poison your spouse or chain your kid to the tub? Good. Then you're winning.

True, I set a low bar, but you need low bars or people like me could never get a drink. I know you're probably wondering how I'm doing. Thanks. That means a lot.

I'm doing great. This was my apartment before the lockdown, and this is my apartment now.

I lost my wife in there somewhere -- and my hair keeps growing. Look, what I found in it the other day.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: I think I'll keep him and I'll name him Lou. So, as we take the battle to this virus and it looks like we're winning, we are fighting another battle. It's over information.

See information is like tequila. There's good information, bad information. And then there's the kind that makes you see crazy, crazy things.

Our lives are based on the information we receive, which is why you have to be super careful of what you ingest. It's why our media can destroy your liver.

While adults are able to see the field and understand that life is a balance of variables including health, the economy, risk and benefit, the media, they're not adults. Instead, they're like children who can only focus on one variable at a time.

Ice cream for dinner. That's what they want, ice cream for dinner, never mind nutrition, dental health or discipline. Just one variable at a time.

So just like children, the media can only handle one variable, too, and it's always how much they detest Trump. I'd say the end of the week award should go to Mika, except she's just half an idiot. So can she qualify? Let's see.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MIKA BRZEZINSKI, MSNBC HOST: Dr. Fauci wasn't allowed to talk about what he feels is important to say about this drug that the President keeps pushing.

A lot of people would say, follow the money. There's got to be some sort of financial tie to someone somewhere that has the President pushing this repeatedly.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes, Mika, a billionaire world leader would risk his presidency and legacy to make a few hundred dollars off a stock.

There's that low bar again. It seems anyone can be a pundit, even someone who's so stupid, the producers had to make Joe Scarborough, the smart one. It was either that or the table.

But one thing you can predict about the press is that when one dingbat floats in idiotic premise, another dumbbell will copy it.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

QUESTION: Do you have investments in hydroxychloroquine?

DONALD TRUMP (R), PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: No, I don't. No, I don't. Thanks. Good question. Thanks.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: So you see that, Acosta just stole that from the dopey duo, proving stupidity is infectious. So how do you stop it?

Well, with the coronavirus, we talk about contact tracing. You identify someone who came into contact with a sick person and trace connections to reduce spread.

I'm thinking we need to contact trace dumb ideas in the media before they spread to the general public and infect all of us. Ah, the press. How little they know about stuff and how uninterested they are in remedying that gap. They probably don't even know the price of oil.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

QUESTION: I was just checking on oil again today. I was wondering --

TRUMP: Oil?

QUESTION: Yes.

TRUMP: Where is it today?

QUESTION: Oh, well, I was wondering if --

TRUMP: No, where is the price? Give me the price.

QUESTION: I'm not sure to be honest.

TRUMP: How can you ask a question when you don't know the price?

QUESTION: I'll look it up for you.

TRUMP: Okay, let me do somebody else then. Go ahead.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I will never get tired of that. I think I've watched it more times than this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I already said I will not be making any comment. Oh my God, that hurt.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That never gets old. But every day, the media seems more outraged to Trump than those whose errors and deceptions helped spread this virus, like China and their PR agency, the W.H.O.

No, the real outrage is how Trump treats the poor, poor media. Remember, when you're given a Don Lemon, you can't even make sense out of it.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DON LEMON, CNN ANCHOR: I swear, I feel like I'm in the movie network. I feel like Howard Beale.

Americans are mad as hell. What are going to -- how much more can Americans take? Every single day berating people, lying.

First it's a hoax? And then all along, I knew it was serious. I knew it was a pandemic. How much more -- how many people have to die?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Oh my god. Get him a fainting couch. Was there anything in there that resembles an actual coherent thought? No, he's just a showboat and look, when you're channeling Howard Beale, you shouldn't have to tell people you are.

It's like saying, hey, people say I'm really smart. Maybe wait for people to say that, not you. But that again, Don would be waiting forever.

But in this game, so many anchors would rather show off, they'd show up. These people have been so wrong on everything. Russia, obstruction, collusion, impeachment, the pandemic -- yet still think that you should believe them. The same jackasses who say oh, Trump should have done that sooner. Had their head up impeachment's butt while the virus spread.

So when this is over, you can bet they will pretend they were there for sounding the alarm. But they weren't. In fact, they were busy calling people racist for sounding the alarm. And then they lie that that their side didn't dismiss this threat.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. NANCY PELOSI (D-CA): We think it's very safe to be in Chinatown and hope that others will come. It's lovely here. The food is delicious. The shops are prospering. The parade was great.

GOV. ANDREW CUOMO (D-NY): There is no reason to panic. This is no reason to have an inordinate amount of fear about this situation.

MAYOR BILL DE BLASIO (D), NEW YORK CITY: For the vast majority of New Yorkers, life is going on pretty normally right now. And we want to encourage that.

If you're under 50 and you're healthy, which is most New Yorkers, there's very little threat here. This disease even if you were to get it, basically acts like a common cold or flu.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Man. It's amazing how the media forgets all of that. But enough. Let's talk about you.

Again this crisis is revealing who you are and how you help. We stuck together to save lives. We complied even though we may not have understood completely what we were doing.

We took a crash course in Biology, pandemics, Economics. Think about what we've learned so far about China, supply chains, toilet paper, ourselves, and toilet paper.

I could safely say I learned more during the pandemic than I learned in all of my undergraduate Biology courses, which is easy since I didn't take any undergraduate Biology courses unless you count dating that nurse.

So we're doing a great job, faced with something we've never faced before. But it's not just the virus, it's the shutdown. Really, the impact of that will be just as new and alien as the virus that caused it.

So we have to start prepping for our comeback, the way we prep for the virus with the same optimism and energy. We need to figure out how to reduce the burdens and help the businesses and get people back to work.

The same mentality needed to fight the virus needs to be tapped here because people will suffer. And unlike the virus, the suffering from the shutdown may not be tabulated or graphed or even identified by the media.

So it's on all of us to see this thing through and take care of each other. Someone once told me when you see the light at the end of the tunnel -- that means you're still in the tunnel.

This might be the hardest part of this whole process. The temptation to stop because we're almost there. Resist it and keep going because we're almost there.

ANNOUNCER: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests, like the Declaration of Independence, he is covered in ink. His book "American Crusade" comes out May 19th. "Fox and Friends Weekend" co-host Pete Hegseth.

He is so patriotic, his alarm clock is the Liberty Bell. Retired U.S. Marine Corps bomb technician and Fox News contributor, Joey Jones.

She deserves a citation for her isolation. Host of "Sincerely, Kat" on Fox Nation, Kat Timpf.

And he's back. A high five from him will put you in another state. My massive sidekick and host of "Nuff Said" on Fox nation. Tyrus.

Yes. All right. Let's get to it. I'll start with you, Pete. What do you make of the presser so far and how the media has been dealing with them?

PETE HEGSETH, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Well, totally predictable, and you hear people starting to say, Trump maybe he shouldn't hold these press conferences. Maybe his tone should be a little bit different.

Have you watched this President for the last three years? This is who he is. This is why people love him. Because he's willing to improvise. He listens to the scientist, but he has his own intuition. He was elected, not them.

So he is actually living out the tension we are all feeling, which is, listen, we know this is serious, but we've got to get back to business and this is not the time for foolishness.

So if you try it, I'm going to put you on blast which is really entertaining TV. It's the first appointment television I've had since "The Office" reruns, which I still watch all the time now.

But every day --

KATHERINE TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: They are on all day.

HEGSETH: They are on all day which is what I am doing generally speaking, when I'm not doing anything else, and so he should not back down one bit. That's why his approval rating is so high amongst Republicans, the left will always hate him. And he should charge ahead and do the briefings as he wants.

GUTFELD: You know, Joey, we need to raise like adult questions like how to get the economy back, but every time you do that, the media says you just want people to die, and so that's how we get -- that's another burden that you have to deal with.

JOHNNY "JOEY" JONES, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: No, it's really funny, you know, Don Lemon's whole thing is, he is mad as hell. And it's like, yes, Don Lemon, we are mad as hell. We're mad as hell that China, you know, could have stopped this or at least told us about it.

We're really mad at this and people are dying. We're mad that Carole Baskin is walking free and Joe Exotic is in a prison somewhere. But we are not mad that Trump is calling media on their gotcha questions and asking for little things like background. And when he does, they have to Google it right in front of him.

And so this dynamic we're getting two hours a day of it, which is probably too much but, it's really funny. We've moved from enemy of the state to this relationship that's a little bit more in the details and he is kind of pulling away from them, I mean, they're going to have to do their homework, I think.

GUTFELD: Yes. You know, Kat, I keep talking about I'm worried about the bars and the restaurants in every city and the PPP, the paycheck protection is not helping them. Are you worried about it as much as I am? Or what are you worried about?

TIMPF: I am worried about it. I'm also worried that any time you bring that up, you're again saying you want people to die. The way that the media can twist these narratives is crazy. You brought up the hydroxychloroquine, and you know, the pundits using that.

There was also that piece in "The New York Times" saying that Trump has a small stake in a company that makes this drugs, and they treat it like this bombshell. Right?

As you mentioned, it is likely less than $1,000.00 that he has in this. I don't think that's why and then also, there's this other issue of this drug has worked. There's reports of that.

A massive global survey of doctors, it was the top rated treatment, even though it's not technically approved.

So I've had -- you can have your issues with Trump. I know I have. And I don't know the guy. Okay. I'm no Jesse Watters, but I'm guessing maybe he talks about it so much, because there are reports of people who would be dead and now they're not dead.

GUTFELD: Yes. Welcome back, Tyrus. It's been a couple of weeks. We missed you.

GEORGE "TYRUS" MURDOCH, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Oh, how sweet.

GUTFELD: What are your thoughts on how the country is going to rebound?

MURDOCH: I just like to point out, going back real quick, Greg, we, for the last three years have had Armageddon, pretty much every week. The end of the world as we knew it was coming every week.

And I can honestly say that when I first heard about the pandemic and the coronavirus, I was skeptical, because it was very hard to believe the information coming from mainstream media given the history.

So it's not crazy to me that the administration would have been the same way. I mean, once we found out this is a real deal and we got hit in the mouth and we had to make drastic changes. That's what happened.

So for Don Lemon and the extreme left to keep wanting to tell the story. They didn't do this when -- everybody did that.

GUTFELD: Right.

MURDOCH: And it's what you're doing now. And I think what the administration is doing now and the fact that every day, we have the opportunity in this country to have two expert doctors talk to us and let us know what's going on, I think is an amazing thing and I commend the administration for doing that because I'm able to get information every day that's vital to me and my family.

I really don't care who didn't know what, when, where two or three months ago, so I just want to get that out.

GUTFELD: But we've got lots more to talk about. So we'll be right back. In that time, wash your hands.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Quarantines create libertines. That's right, homebound boys and girls it's time once again for --

ANNOUNCER: Home-Ageddon.

GUTFELD: It's a fact. We better get back to work before we turn into totally degenerates, cooped up and bored out of our minds, many people are indulging in vices to pass the time. Weed, porn, alcohol, chocolate consumption -- it's all up across the board.

We pour an alcohol and chocolate, what I call breakfast. But of course that flies in the face of the Surgeon General's guidelines.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DR. JEROME ADAMS, U.S. SURGEON GENERAL: While your state and local health departments and those of us in public service are working day and night to help stop the spread of COVID-19 and protect you regardless of your color, your creed or your geography, I need you to know you are not helpless.

And it's even more important that in communities of color, we adhere to the Taskforce guidelines to slow the spread. Stay at home if possible. If you must go out, maintain six feet of distance between you and everyone else and wear a mask if you're going to be within six feet of others.

Wash your hands more often than you ever dreamed possible. Avoid alcohol, tobacco, and drugs, and call your friends and family. Check in on your mother. She wants to hear from you right now.

And speaking of mothers, we need you to do this, if not for yourself then for your abuela, do it for your granddaddy. Do it for your big mama. Do it for your pop pop.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I love that guy. But apparently such advice rubbed one journalist the wrong way who suggests many -- whoever many is -- believe the black Surgeon General was being racist, because he mentioned certain behaviors as risk factors.

Meanwhile, the other stuff we're buying a lot of these days is kind of strange, baby chickens and vegetable seeds. They go well together. Sales of both are through the roof. Suppliers say customers are not only worried about food shortages. They're also just really bored.

It's true. I started a garden myself, but I think the guy I paid to water my crops doesn't know how to use a hose.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: I was never a fan of child labor. So Tyrus, what are your thoughts?

MURDOCH: I knew you were going to get me.

TIMPF: Well, either you or me.

GUTFELD: Yes, it's okay. You could tackle the vices part, but you're losing weight like I am. You've lost like 70 pounds. But what do you make of that reporter basically saying because the guy said, you know, he said, don't drink, don't do whatever. And she said -- she saw that as racist.

MURDOCH: He was being real. He wasn't being racist. He was being real, but it's always rough whenever a brother is being racist towards his community.

He said things that we needed to hear. And, you know, he left a few nicknames out, but he could have mentioned some more, you know what I am saying like, my daughter calls her grandma Bella. Then there's Pa and Ma. And then of course, there's the, who are you? And then there's shh.

And there's you know, the mailman, and mommy's special friend. I mean, there's a lot of different names he could have went and this is your secret dad.

I mean, there's a lot of different ways he could have went with that. But here's the point. You have to keep it real. And I know that the war -- the justice warriors, the social justice warriors are hurting right now because people don't have time for stuff that doesn't really matter.

He was not being racist. He totally like he wasn't -- guess what, when he said big momma, somebody who wasn't paying attention went, huh? And listen, he kept it real.

And right now we don't have time for the fake stuff. He kept it real. Kudos to him. And you know, what's up to me-ma, and everybody else out there. You know those nicknames are real and it's part of our community, and we have to be honest with ourselves, there's no reason to be dumb.

And when she questioned when he said, all American -- but anyone that knows anything about alcoholism, drug use, and not being responsible and accountable, every community has it and it was a great message and good for him and he didn't have to back down.

GUTFELD: Yes, you know, Kat. I always get upset when people like, what, who gets to define what a vise is.

TIMPF: Right.

GUTFELD: My wife eats too many vegetables.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Too many vegetables. It can't be healthy. I had a friend who ate so many carrots that his skin turned orange. Isn't that a vice?

TIMPF: Yes, I'm sure that's a real friend and that happened. But in terms of drinking, Greg, I know you always say that you're safer to just drink at home.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I think that in terms of not getting arrested or getting hit by a car, you're right. But in terms of destroying relationships, the drinking going on right now is very dangerous. Think about it.

Whenever you're out drinking, you've got to make sure you can get yourself home.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: Or if you're having the party at your house, you've got to be the host and you know, do this stuff with the coats and whatnot. Okay?

In this situation, all these FaceTime drinking and the Zoom happy hours. Everybody is home, everybody is sad. Everyone is getting hammered. Okay. And then our phones, we have these devices where there's social media, we're connected sort of with pretty much everyone we've ever met.

In the before times, you would just be going through Facebook, maybe see something from your high school English teacher, scroll past. Now, you've already been to the Zoom happy hour, you've missed that attention. You're alone. You're like this might be a good time to video chat her. Let her know how she changed my life.

She's got nothing to do. She's going to answer. So I think that this will all be the end of families and friendships.

GUTFELD: Wow. What about you, Joey? Are you indulging in any vices? Does this sound like you?

TIMPF: Carrots?

JONES: You know it's funny, Kat, brought that up. I might have gotten a text that said, hey, answer your phone right now I want you to be my new dog and it might have been at maybe 11:00 p.m.

TIMPF: You did?

JONES: When I was watching a movie with the kid and it was kind of --

TIMPF: He didn't answer.

JONES: I did not answer.

TIMPF: He didn't answer.

JONES: I told the truth, I was watching a movie. It's just -- I just went to sleep after that. So --

TIMPF: You would have.

JONES: I don't -- I don't drink. My vice is Nutella and fruit snacks. Like my vice is sugar. I like to have a good time. But just to go back to the vernacular thing. Imagine if I were up there and I'm like, hey, get you daddy. And don't go -- if you go squirrel hunting, you know, away from each other.

And you know, it's like, people will be losing their minds right now, but half of the country or at least the southeast portion would know exactly what I'm talking about.

So for someone to read into that right now, like, are you that bored? You're a journalist. Go journal. You know, there's nothing --

GUTFELD: Yes, but you know what?

JONES: You're starting to read into vernacular?

GUTFELD: Pete, you know, Pete, Tyrus' point is well taken. The social justice warrior thing is out of place right now because you have -- that's like a luxury that you can have to pit people against each other. You can't pit people against each other when everybody is American.

HEGSETH: No and all the Bernie bros are now stuck in the basement of their parents' house getting daily lectures from their parents who watch Fox News Channel and the debates are raging, right, about what's -- you know, social justice right now.

We're in a Maslow's hierarchy of needs moments right now, guys. So you have self-actualization, and then you have self-esteem, and then you have love and none of those things are happening.

And then you have security, maybe you've lost your job. So now you're at home, which is the physiological so you've got a house, you know, you've got air, you've got clean water, maybe you've got food, maybe you've got toilet paper, but otherwise, listen, alcohol cleans your insides.

GUTFELD: Yes.

HEGSETH: When you exhale on a cigarette, you're pushing out the droplets. And last time I checked, porn is social distancing. So I am endorsing that but I'm saying you're maybe following -- it is Holy Week, so I'd stay away. But I'm just saying.

GUTFELD: All right, you know what. Just, everybody, he is not a doctor. Do not take his cigarette droplets advice.

TIMPF: He is a theologian.

GUTFELD: Yes, he is.

MURDOCH: We will miss you, Pete. We will miss you.

GUTFELD: Yes. That was your last --

HEGSETH: This is this comedy show, right? Okay.

MURDOCH: He is going through the corn field.

GUTFELD: Some people don't think it's a comedy show, but in my heart I try.

Okay. Lots more show to come. It gets even better. So again, wash your hands.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

ASHLEY STROHMIER, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CORRESPONDENT Live from "America's News Headquarters," I'm Ashley Strohmier. The U.S. now leads the world in the deaths from the coronavirus, killing more than 20,000 people, surpassing hard hit Italy which is nearing 20,000 fatalities. More than a half a million cases have been reported in the U.S.

President Trump has now approved disaster declarations for all 50 states and the District of Columbia. The Pentagon is spending $133 million to boost domestic production of N-95 masks. They are the most reliable and have been in short supply since the outbreak started.

This as the C.D.C. and many states recommend wearing masks or facial coverings.

And Spain is calling for international response to build and rebuild the global economy ravaged by the outbreak. That country leaves Europe with more than 163,000 cases second to the U.S. I'm Ashley Strohmier. Now back to THE GREG GUTFELD SHOW.

GUTFELD: There's only one left to run, Bernie Sanders dropped out of the race Wednesday, making Joe Biden the presumptive nominee or as Joe likes to say banana clam, where's my pants?

But Bernie says he will stay on the ballot in the remaining primary states hoping he can move the Democratic platform either even further left than it already is.

But I could see why he left. The coronavirus already made everyone unemployed, so Bernie wouldn't have the chance to do it himself. So I guess it's going to be Trump versus Biden. I wonder, does it amaze Trump that Obama hasn't supported Sleepy Joe?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: It does amaze me that President Obama hasn't supported Sleepy Joe. It just hasn't happened. When is it going to happen? When is it going to happen? Why isn't he? He knows something that you don't know, and I think I know, but you don't know.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Lovely, no, we don't know. So what's a Trump-Biden matchup going to look like? Well, according to a report from "The Hill," the newspaper, not the actual formation. This is going to be a tight race in Florida, but it's always a tight race in Florida. That's like saying there's going to be pie in Michael Moore's beard.

Trump narrowly won Florida in 2016, and right now, poll show Biden has got the edge there. But it's a long time between now and November, so don't expect to have your mind blown unless you're my cat after I bought him a massage pillow.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: He is being introduced to like the universe. He's never known that to exist before. That cat's mind is blown.

Speaking of -- Kat, I guess I should go to you. Just because my hands are in the air.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: What's going on with Obama? Like, it's kind of like you're -- it's like "The Bachelor." You're the final rose and he's not giving it to you.

TIMPF: Yes, I mean, I guess I kind of get it though, because things are so tumultuous and everywhere, it's polarizing everywhere. There's Trump and then there's Biden, but the Bernie people I don't like Biden, this and this and that.

Right now, Obama is kind of killing it. He's getting tons of money, him and Michelle for like Netflix and things like that. He's pretty universally appreciated.

And the best way for people to stop appreciating you is to make yourself controversial. Like look at the Kardashians. They're the most famous people in the country. I don't know anything about what they believe, except for that they really like their own butts.

And yes, they have started an empire that way. So I think that's what Obama is doing.

GUTFELD: Interesting. I'm glad -- whenever you can tie in the butts.

TIMPF: I know what you like Greg.

GUTFELD: So, Joey --

TIMPF: Best kind of content.

GUTFELD: I have no idea what you're talking about.

TIMPF: I don't either.

GUTFELD: Joey you're the opposite of Sleepy Joe. You're awake Joe. Do you think he's going to become just a Bernie in a Joe mask?

JONES: No, no. I think that the Democrats are ready for a brokered convention. There's a reason why this is a part of their process. It's not all that unheard of. And I think -- you've got to understand, do they really want the mastermind behind salient point as corn pop and hairy legs or that's not my wife, that's my sister.

You know, is that who they want to put out there on November behind the President? They may be a little battered and torn from this, but by all accounts, probably will have a pretty good record of leading us through this and hopefully opening the country back up from it.

I don't think that's what they want. You have Cuomo and Newsom and a few others, but at this point I think even Bernie recycled might be a better gig than what they have right now. If you've seen these videos Sleepy Joe's putting out there, they're anything but sleepy. They're scary.

GUTFELD: Yes, you know Tyrus, it's just proof that this is a racist country that not only can an old white man have the nomination, but an old white man who doesn't know he has the nomination.

MURDOCH: I'm so glad that you brought this up, finally. I have been investigating this going on a year now.

Old white men, you just can't get rid of them even when they don't know what time it is, it's still their watch. You know what I'm saying?

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: So, here's the thing. Bernie is stepping out. I don't know how much of the -- I watched a lot of the reports and stuff. His own people in his party are turning on him.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: They're not saying it's time for someone else. They're not going to fall in line. They're not going to support Biden. They're literally going to start their own brands. They feel like they've been betrayed because he stepped out, so again, you're going to be in the same situation that Hillary was in where they felt Bernie was robbed.

And now they felt that Bernie quit too soon, so they're going to go home. They are going to vote across the aisle. So again, the Democrats are in that same problem. They cannot unite, and this literally when Bernie stepped down, a lot of people thought, hey, this is going to unify the party. No, they just started looking for who is next.

GUTFELD: Trump has a great opportunity to like look at Joe Biden, every time Joe Biden adopts a Bernie Sanders idea, like the green -- let's say, the Green New Deal. All he has to say -- all Trump has to say is, do you remember March and April 2020 when you had bread lines, and empty shelves and the supermarket was like the DMV? That's socialism. That's what you're voting for.

I think that is a good ploy.

HEGSETH: Of course it is, and Biden is an empty vessel right now with whatever he needs to do to win, right? So he needs the Bernie Bros. He's going to go as far left as he needs to capture them then try to move right.

But if you watch his internet videos contrast with what the President is doing. It is embarrassing and Democrats know that and that's why Trump is staying so far away or excuse me, Obama is staying so far away from it. Why would you touch this train wreck?

So I don't care what the polls say. I don't care. I mean, this is a referendum on Trump right? How he handles coronavirus will determine whether he gets a second term? His approval ratings have soared because he has been very out front and candid like he always is.

I mean, Biden, where his path is, I have no idea. I will say I've been distracted this entire time because I want to know Tyrus what's in that package that's at your door that is in the shot. Because I don't know what it is.

TIMPF: I have been looking at your home.

HEGSETH: But you haven't opened it yet.

MURDOCH: Oh, that's my new camera.

HEGSETH: I see it. Okay. I just had to check, you know.

GUTFELD: Let it be known that Pete Hegseth was curious about Tyrus' package.

TIMPF: I knew you couldn't resist.

GUTFELD: You can take that --

TIMPF: I knew you couldn't.

MURDOCH: We are going to miss you, Pete, so much.

HEGSETH: It's been fun, guys. It's been fun.

GUTFELD: All right, lots of stuff to talk about. Wash your hands.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Will there be MLB? Major League Baseball is discussing ways to start their season during the pandemic. One idea: Play all games in Arizona in empty ballparks. Nude. No, that was my idea.

Anyway, the 10-spring training facilities and Chase Field in Phoenix are all within 50 miles of each other. Apparently, some Federal officials support the plan because it could serve as a model on how to reignite the economy.

Players would be sequestered moving only between fields and hotels, making it hard for groupies like me to sneak in. And instead of sitting in the dugout, they'd sit six feet away from each other in the stands, there'd be no high fives or French kissing.

The plan might also include other variations, like seven inning games and an electric strike -- electronic strike zone to keep umps away from the players.

Meanwhile, the Rakuten Monkeys, a pro team in Taiwan, will use robot mannequins to simulate fans at their games. They'll even be programmed to hold up signs. That's impressive, but call me when they could do this.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: Oh, I love that. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

So, Joey, I have a theory that change doesn't come unless it's forced upon you. Could this be an amazing opportunity to remake baseball into something that's watchable?

JONES: You don't need to remake something that's been the pastime for over a hundred years. Baseball is fun. Listen, this is the worst sports idea since someone drafted Johnny Manziel. This is like saying you don't have tequila for your margarita, so let's just mix lime juice and O'Doul's.

You know, it's like this is not the same thing. Plus they want to change the rules and these are rules they will probably change and keep because it allows people to be lazy.

GUTFELD: Yes.

JONES: And just for the record on the whole robot mannequin thing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

JONES: This is a job made for me unfortunately some robots can still get the virus, but I will say, those robots looked more lively than most Miami Marlins fans, so, go Braves.

GUTFELD: Tyrus, I think that like if they change this to seven-inning games, that is the best, because isn't a problem with baseball is that it's too long, too slow and too baseball-y.

GUTFELD: Look, Greg, I'm going to let you pass with your insults. But no, the game is great. But let's be honest for a second, baseball has the last two out of three World Series have been tainted with cheating and stuff. This is a bad idea.

I think they're better off just chalking and letting this year go by, focus on helping with charities and doing positive things in the community and come back in 2021 and give everyone a chance to catch their breath from the awful scandal we've had to endure with baseball.

I love baseball. I'm a diehard Red Sox fan, one of those World Series was ours. I don't think we earned it with the cheating. So I think in trying to get some kind of montage game together in Arizona is a bad idea, just -- the season is over, let it go.

HEGSETH: Are we on PBS right now? The first sports league that opens up wins, all right, it would become a national obsession. Listen, I don't want an electric ump, but it might be need to happen, it might need to be seven games.

We all know we're not watching 162 games of baseball. Cut the season in half. Let people watch it and love it. It would be a rallying cry for the nation.

If anything, the NBA should beat them to it. The first sports league to open up will be a rally for this nation. People watch those games in ways they never have.

These are young, fit men who can do this and if you're smart about it, you can play the game. It's not hard. Get out there and play. It will rally the nation and you could do it in a smart way. I don't care if it's Arizona. I don't care where it is. You know, come on.

GUTFELD: You know, Kat, you have been on this story since day one.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes. Can you give us the research on this?

TIMPF: No, I actually have a very passionate point about the robot mannequins.

GUTFELD: Okay.

TIMPF: This is a horrible, stupid, dangerous idea. They can hold up signs. Great. Guess what they cannot do? They cannot walk. How do the mannequins get into the stadium? People have got to bring them in there.

GUTFELD: That's true.

TIMPF: All you're doing is you're bringing in people to bring in these mannequins, and you're going to spread coronavirus, so bad idea. Bad. Bad. Bad. I'm so glad I finally got to get that off my chest.

GUTFELD: Well, I'm glad you did, too. All right, stick around. One more segment. Two more segments. Wash your hands.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Are you busy fretting about your wedding? It's spring. It's supposed to be wedding season, but not this year. No. Thousands of couples had to postpone their nuptials putting a $74 billion dollar industry to a screeching halt.

No flowers. No cake. No subpar cutlet with that twice baked potato and four wax beans. And worse, no drunken bridesmaids' knife fighting in the parking lot. I always put my money on the redhead.

Even though bars are closed, dating apps are surging. Bumble has seen a 23 percent spike in sent messages in NYC mostly from Lou Dobbs saying Greg, leave me alone.

It's a good time for those who are interested in attention but not commitment. Plus, it would be really easy to end a date early when you FaceTime someone and you see this happening.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: The music made that video. All right, Kat. Is the pandemic the ultimate test for a relationship or would you just like to tackle the whole marriage thing? Isn't that in your future?

TIMPF: Marriage? I think it is going to be in my future which is I don't get it. But I think, you know, it's going to happen, I don't think he likes the crazy.

But I actually think that this, a silver -- like right, he must be crazy. The silver lining is I might be able to get the wedding I've always dreamed of if things change, which would mean I want to be married either by a robot or a hologram of Pope John Paul II.

GUTFELD: Oh, wow. That is great.

TIMPF: Every little girl's dream.

GUTFELD: It truly is. Do you know -- I think what's really missing is you never hear, Tyrus, about eloping. I guess, I eloped. We ran off to the Justice of the Peace. The word is great -- elopement.

MURDOCH: Yes, it sounds like a great idea to elope which is a little different though with social distancing. I think for any guy who has got cold feet, it's never been a better time to say, honey, I want this so bad. But let's wait. As soon as this is cleared over, I will find the tallest mountain.

TIMPF: Wait a minute --

GUTFELD: No.

MURDOCH: The biggest crowd, the largest van, we will make this happen. But until then, we wait. We just wait. It's not me. Not me. I want this.

GUTFELD: It's the pandemic.

MURDOCH: But it's a pandemic. What are you going to do? You know, so -- we wait.

GUTFELD: You can blame so many things until the pandemic.

MURDOCH: Yes.

GUTFELD: I've never even thought of that.

MURDOCH: Constantly. I do. Always. You take the trash out. Pandemic.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

MURDOCH: You know, who is up all night watching "Forensic Files." What do you want me to do, it's a pandemic, you know, so whose child is that? It's the pandemic. So there's a lot of stuff going on.

GUTFELD: The pandemic baby. Pete, you recently got married.

HEGSETH: Yes. This is the ultimate crucible. This is the ultimate relationship tester. Hey, how committed are you to wedded bliss? Forget about all the crowds and the ceremonies and the money.

Let's just get married now. We can do it online and work together then, together in this moment, married in wedded bliss, or are you saying, I need the ceremony to validate it. I need all the people there. I need the pomp and circumstance.

And either way you cut, man or woman, it could be revealing about your motivation. So I feel like these are tough conversations couples are having, you know, if you -- isn't it about marriage or is it about the wedding?

TIMPF: It's about the Pope John Paul II hologram.

HEGSETH: I support that. Hundred percent.

MURDOCH: Without the pandemic. It's the pandemic.

HEGSETH: The pandemic.

GUTFELD: You know, Joey, I can't think of a worse job than wedding planner.

HEGSETH: I agree.

GUTFELD: I mean, think about that.

HEGSETH: I agree.

GUTFELD: Yes. I'd rather be a divorce planner.

JONES: There's probably more money in that. There's more in that. But listen, yes, I was a single Marine for six years, 10 years ago before these apps were around. What I can tell you is happening right now is that young Marines are saving so much money not going out to bars and taking just as many women home right now during this pandemic.

But on top of that -- that's funny, right?

TIMPF: I'm scandalized.

JONES: You've got to think it through for a minute.

HEGSETH: It's good. It's good.

JONES: Just striking out. Striking out. But on top of that, you know, I'm a dad of a baby girl, and if there's ever going to be another coronavirus, I wouldn't mind it being at least 18 years from now because if I can get out of paying for $20,000.00 or $30,000.00 wedding, I'm okay with that.

And lastly, one thing that I thought of in this segment, if you can have, you know -- if you can have conference calls over Zoom and date over the internet, can you get married teleconferencing?

And so can you get married without being -- you know, and so how many of these people are going to get cat fished into marrying, you know, Jay and Silent Bob in their basement and they're thinking it's a supermodel? And now they have a financial obligation.

GUTFELD: Yes, there's probably nothing worse than marrying a catfish. Anyway, I don't know what I'm saying at this point. Final Thoughts, next, and wash your hands.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We are out of time and I'm heading home. Thanks to Pete Hegseth, Joey Jones, Kat Timpf and Tyrus. I'm Greg Gutfeld. Be safe. I love you, America.

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