This is a rush transcript from "The Five," November 18, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Do we really have to talk about this?
Donald Trump's wife, Melania, says he may be getting back in the 2012 presidential race. My heart be still. I can't believe it. I'm ready to sign up.
And I just, a day without Donald Trump is like a day with strangers. Now, go ahead. What do you think?
First, let me tell you something, Melania. Do you know a little about politics? He has missed the deadline for half the state in the country. But maybe the Donald could change it around. Who knows?
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: I have it on good authority that Donald Trump will say something and later we will report on it.
BECKEL: Exactly.
GUTFELD: That's how it works.
BECKEL: Now, you are a good friend of Trump.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: I am.
BECKEL: I happen to think Trump is actually a really funny nice guy.
BOLLING: He is a nice guy. He is a smart guy. He's made billions of dollars. He's employed billions of people.
BECKEL: Billions?
BOLLING: Paid -- hundreds of thousands of people and paid billion in taxes, what I mean to say. Great guy. I don't think he's going to run. And he's got a book deal coming out. He's got another show coming up.
Melania may want him to run. But it's certainly nice to -- listen, he --
GUTFELD: Asked by the way --
BOLLING: Hold on.
BECKEL: Seriously. He is just doing analysis like --
BOLLING: You have to admit, every candidate wants Donald's endorsement.
BECKEL: Oh, yes, they sure do. Why? I mean, someone tell me why?
BOLLING: He's respected, Bob.
ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: I penned a couple of columns supporting him before he pulled the "I'm going to run and I'm going to run" and didn't. Here's why and I wasn't endorsing him but I was saying, let the man speak. I thought he was an effective mouthpiece for the GOP because he has the biggest megaphone out of anyone. So, if he wants to take shots at the president, let him do it. I think this hurts his credibility, though. He is saying he is going to run when you're not.
GUTFELD: He was screaming about the birth certificate for how long. That didn't help anybody.
BOLLING: Oh, Greg, one day.
GUTFELD: One day? One day? It's a long day.
BOLLING: Please!
(CROSSTALK)
BOLLING: I mentioned it one day, too. It's like -- it lives forever on the Internet. That ship has sailed.
BECKEL: You are in the tank for Trump this far.
BOLLING: He is a good guy. He's a brilliant guy.
BECKEL: I know you like the guy. Nice guy.
Dana, can help us here? I mean, do you -- did you watch him do that analysis? Could you just serious analysis of Donald Trump running for president? With a straight face.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I could, yes.
BECKEL: OK.
PERINO: But I'm not going to do, because you are right. I mean, it is a little bit -- it's beyond the deadline now. I mean, it's not possible. Remember, we had all the people like Sarah Palin, and Chris Christie and others until the deadline were like should I run, should I not?
Now, it could be that he thinks none of the candidates in the current GOP field are good enough. He does on my point of view help put questions into President Obama's administration.
(LAUGHTER)
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: Move on? What is next?
PERINO: Help me.
BECKEL: What is next?
BOLLING: Christmas tree.
BECKEL: OK. Christmas tree. I didn't have it on the prompter. I'm sorry, I played football.
PERINO: Who are you, Obama? You need a prompter?
BECKEL: There was going to be a tax, remember this, we talk there was tax on Christmas trees? And Eric went off about Obama trying to dump on Christmas. But I was all in favor of it for two reasons. One, supposed to promote and sell Christmas trees. And that would get rid of the horrendous phony Christmas trees from New York and on "Jersey Shore" think it's good.
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: And I didn't say the cool (ph) on the "Jersey Shore," but you get my drift, right?
TANTAROS: If more people would just buy Christmas trees around Christmas. And Santa, he needs marketing help. You're right, Bob.
GUTFELD: What we needed to do, we need to crush the elves' union.
Those creeps are ruining the country.
BECKEL: Do you not think that these phony Christmas trees are the worst possible things --
PERINO: The white ones are.
BECKEL: Oh, it's terrible.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: I kind of --
BECKEL: You're upset they're in everybody's window.
PERINO: But I kind of like the ones that are already strung up with lights. I mean, it's very organized and easy to deal with.
BECKEL: You will have a real one?
BOLLING: You would be a great Santa Claus.
BECKEL: Thank you.
BOLLING: Right?
PERINO: He could wear the funny hat thing.
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: I had a long day.
BOLLING: No, no, didn't you say you played baby Jesus?
BECKEL: I did. Yes.
BOLLING: Right?
BECKEL: But I was a little kid.
GUTFELD: So, wait, aren't we going to take credit for this?
BECKEL: What?
GUTFELD: Weren't we the ones that first started yelling apt this fee? I think we should take credit for it.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: I think we should give Heritage Foundation credit for bringing it up first.
TANTAROS: That's right.
PERINO: But I think the Obama administration deserves credit for the people recognizing this --
TANTAROS: Oops.
PERINO: -- this P.R. disaster that it would have been and they killed this thing within a 24-hour period.
GUTFELD: I would like to take credit for it.
BECKEL: We got to move on.
TANTAROS: Another P.R. misstep, right?
BECKEL: this is why producers are so good here, I don't have anything in my ear piece and I can't do anything straight without one.
BOLLING: Phone is ringing.
BECKEL: It's my bookie again. Put it down.
All right. What was Governor Perry -- here's one for you, Eric. Please put my phone down.
BOLLING: It's off.
BECKEL: Right. Governor Perry, your guy, says that he announced he wants to have a debate, right, with Nancy Pelosi.
(LAUGHTER)
BOLLING: All right. All right. So he says, I would like to offer Nancy Pelosi a date.
PERINO: Not a date. It's a debate.
GUTFELD: Did they walk in a bar?
BOLLING: No. But then she shot back, saying, oh, I can't remember the third place I'm going to be. Ha, ha. But Perry shot back again. Can we take a listen? Let's listen.
BECKEL: Oh, we actually have tape? We do. Sorry.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIPS)
TEXAS GOV. RICK PERRY, REPUBLICA PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I chuckled a bit when Nancy Pelosi, she may have forgotten all the reasons she can't debate me on overhauling Washington, D.C., but American people sure haven't forgotten.
REP. NANCY PELOSI, D-CALIF.: What he did ask if I could debate here in Washington on Monday. It is my understanding. That such a letter has come in. Monday, I'm going to be in Portland in the morning, I'm going to be visiting some of our labs in California in the afternoon. That is two. I can't remember what the third thing.
(END VIDEO CLIPS)
BOLLING: Oh, she's so funny.
PERINO: That's funny. I like that.
BOLLING: You know what the third thing was, Dana, I think she was going to testify how she made 250,000 bucks in Visa, on insider trading and then also legislating on laws that would affect Visa's profitability.
Maybe she should do that.
BECKEL: Eric, you are trying to take this seriously, too. This is the minority leader of the U.S. House. And this guy wants to be president of the United States and he wants to debate the minority leader?
TANTAROS: I will tell you why. If you look at Rasmussen.com, 63 percent of likely voters view her unfavorably. There has been precedent. When Hillary did not want to run against Rick Lazio when she runs for Senate, she ran against Newt Gingrich. Maybe it doesn't make a lot of sense and I probably wouldn't recommend that he'd do it if I were his press secretary. But she is polarizing.
(CROSTALK)
BECKEL: You know the last Gallup poll had 91 percent negative for the Republican Congress.
GUTFELD: Beckel!
BECKEL: What?
GUTFELD: We got to tease.
BECKEL: Oh, we do?
GUTFELD: Yes.
BECKEL: Sorry, folks. I really spend a little -- it's weird here today.
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