This is a rush transcript from “The Five" September 18, 2020. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino along with Jesse Watters, Juan Williams, Greg Gutfeld, Emily Compagno. It's five o'clock in New York City. And this The Five.

All eyes on a key swing state today. President Trump and Joe Biden are holding dueling event in Minnesota after trading blows on a campaign trail last night. The president is hoping to turn the state red for the first time in decades and Joe Biden is trying to stop him. Here's the former vice president just a few minutes ago.


JOE BIDEN (D), PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE: In the midst of this unprecedented crisis, Trump has given up on pretending to do his job. As the president just started one week earlier in March than he did, we would have 36,000 more people sitting at the dinner table tonight. How many people across the Iron Range? How many empty chairs around those dinner tables? Because of his negligence and selfishness.


PERINO: And President Trump is set to respond with a great American comeback rally tonight. It comes as the candidates step up the intensity of their attacks in key battleground states. Take a look at this. 


DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: If Biden wins, very simple, China wins. If Biden wins, the mob wins. If Biden wins, the rioters, anarchists and arsonists and flag burners, they win. 

BIDEN: If the president had done his job, had done his from the beginning, all the people would still be alive. This president should step down. 

TRUMP: Joe Biden devoted his entire career to offshoring Wisconsin jobs, outsourcing your factories, throwing open your borders. 

BIDEN: I really do see this campaign as a campaign between Scranton and Park Avenue. The way we were raised up here in this area, an awful lot of hard-working people bust their neck. All they ask for is a shot, just a shot. All that Trump can see from Park Avenue is Wall Street. 


PERINO: Hey, Jesse, maybe I'll start with you. I think it's Fifth Avenue, not Park Avenue, just, you know, for fact checking here. 

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST: Yes. I think you were the only person to fact check Joe Biden, Dana. I mean, he got away with a lot of doozies last night. I don't know. I think Minnesota is in play. And Biden is getting spread very thin. He hasn't been to Minnesota in 1,000 days. And every day he has to go to a state like Minnesota which Democratic nominees never go to is a day he's not going to be in a state like Florida. 

It looks like Trump is doing five rallies in five battlegrounds in five days. And not only that, the whole family is involved. Trump Jr. is doing five battlegrounds in five. Ivanka is doing four battlegrounds in five. 
Eric is doing four. And Lara is doing a bus tour in Florida. 

Si, they're really spreading Joe Biden pretty thin right now. He's come out of the basement. And he's on defense. And it's clear he wants to talk about the coronavirus. And right now, Minnesota, I think they are averaging about nine deaths per day. And that's not as big of an issue as it was this summer. 

The president has pivoted very aggressively to the economy and that's great. Because the economy is right now in a super v and they are predicting unemployment at 5 percent next summer. So that's the fastest economic recovery in U.S. history. 

I know Juan wants to talk about the census report that just came out. Juan, you can't argue with these statistics. So just sit there and listen. 

In 2019, the average American household made an extra $4,400. It is an all- time high now, median income is $68,000. In just three years, the average American family has made nearly $9,000 more under Donald Trump. Under Barack Obama in eight years, they only got a $1,000 raise. 

Income inequality is now squeezing compared to Obama and Biden where it expanded. And the poverty rate is at an all-time low. Four million people have been lifted out of poverty under Donald Trump. A number like that we haven't seen in over 50 years. That's why the president is going to hammer the economic message and I think that's why he'll win. 

PERINO: So, Juan, I'll give you a chance to respond to that. I did want to ask you one question though about Minnesota and Republicans. Is it, sort of fool's gold the way that Texas is for Democrats? 



WILLIAMS: Because I think I just saw that Biden is up 10 in Minnesota. So, I don't think that's fool's gold.


PERINO: That's what I mean. Meaning that, let me clarify. No, I should clarify. 

So, Democrats keep saying they're going to win statewide races in Texas. 
And they never do. Republicans are trying to win statewide in Minnesota and it has been elusive to them. President Trump has come closer than most. But this time around, do you think the Republicans are going to fall short again in Minnesota? 

WILLIAMS: Well, I mean, you know, obviously there's an opportunity there given the trouble that happened in Minneapolis with George Floyd, and we've gone over some of the issues like, you know, the city council going back and forth on defund or reform the police, however you want to put that together. 

So I think that the president must think that, you know, that message about law and order and the like has some resonance there. But I don't know that it's working given what I just said about the polls. 

But I wanted to respond to Jesse as well and say Jesse, I think there are a lot of Americans who are going through real economic pain right now. A lot of that pain, that economic pain in terms of unemployment, specifically, is tied directly to the coronavirus, and we know from the president's own words that he wasn't straight with us when it came to how he handled the virus.


WATTERS: Well, it's tied to the shutdown. It's not tied to the virus. It's tied to him shutting it down and then reopening up and then building it back the way it was --


WILLIAMS: No, but I'm saying --

WATTERS: -- gang busters before.

WILLIAMS: Well, I'm thinking that, you know, when I look at other countries, you know, our peers in the world, they've handled it better and their economies are coming back faster. 

WATTERS: That's actually false, Juan. 

WILLIAMS: And our economy won't come back --


WATTERS: Economic contraction to the United States are less than every single developed nation.

WILLIAMS: OK. Look, I can see that our death rate, our infection rate is much higher than other developed countries, Jesse. And what I'm saying to you is, until we Americans get together and crush this coronavirus, we can't expect that our economy is going to have a resurgence. 

And that means we can't be involved in politicizing masks, politicizing when a vaccine is coming. We can't be putting pressure on our CDC officials and telling them, yes, you're wrong about when the vaccine is coming. 

PERINO: All right.

WILLIAMS: That's got to stop. And I think Americans see that. 

WATTERS: I agree. Let's not politicize it. 

PERINO: The politics is here. Greg, I want you to listen to Joe Biden talking about the mask mandate. He still is talking about it. 


BIDEN: I'd like to see the governors enforce mask wearing, period. I can do that on federal property. As president I will do that. We can have a fine for them not doing it. Look, this is about saving lives. 


PERINO: What do you make of him not landing on one consistent message? 

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: That's joe, you know? He will say whatever somebody wants him to say. And if he realizes it wasn't the right thing, he'll just change it. But somebody did fact check him. John Carney. John Carney. I think over at Breitbart. I was getting confused with his brother Tim. 

That quote that Joe thinks is so clever. It's election. It's Scranton versus Park Avenue. And he's right except that Park Avenue supports Biden by a factor of eight to one margin. 


GUTFELD: Right? 


GUTFELD: And Trump gets more money from Scranton than Park Avenue. So that's a good fact check. I have to credit John Carney. I, you know, this thing that he keeps saying, if we started a week earlier, you would have saved 30,000 lives. Why does he just say a week? Why doesn't he say two weeks? Why doesn't he say three weeks? Do those lives not matter? Or are we starting to get into the even deeper into the impeachment territory where we knew that we had completely missed this thing because the Democrats are obsessed with impeachment? 

But you know, it's funny. He says that Trump is responsible for all the deaths. And he said that data backs him up. And of course, that's not true. 
But Joe has to be super careful because he's going to run out of room for future demonization. 

If he keeps making it bigger and bigger and bigger, maybe Donald Trump next week will be responsible for not all past deaths but all future deaths. 
Maybe he can take the killing, I don't know, Jesus or JFK or MLK. 

I mean, the Dems, I keep thinking they've hit a limit on how evil they can portray Trump. I think they stopped comparing Trump to Hitler not because it was unfair to Trump, because they thought it was unfair to Hitler. 
Because they actually think that he is worse than Hitler. 

This has -- it's getting to a point where it is -- it's always been hilarious, watching that -- watching them create these evil fantasies. But I just want to wonder where they're going next, where, Dana? Where? 


GUTFELD: Tell me. 

PERINO: Once you've already gone there, there's nowhere to go. Emily, that's going to be the last word. 


GUTFELD: Worst thing Hitler --

EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS HOST: Greg, there is definitely no limit. I'd like to address the clips that we played in the beginning of this segment. We know that Biden plays the union angle well. Right? That's why throughout the course of his career, he set up those events so frequently and really relied on them as his comfort zone. 

But while he's palling around with the union bosses, I think he should be more concerned with the union workers. As dana mentioned, we know that Trump carried more union workers in Minnesota in 2016 than any Republican since Reagan. But he's delivered on the promises that he made to them. 

This administration expedited mining contracts, which is critical in Minnesota. He renegotiated NAFTA. And many union members are upset and concerned about the direction that the Democratic Party is going with gun control and obviously energy. 

Quick final point. Remember in July when Biden held that virtual event with Minnesota union bosses. A few days after he released his environmental plan. The union bosses cheered the plan. But a few days later, the workers were polled. And they said that what was most important to them was steady good-paying jobs. And what brings steady good paying jobs to them? They associate it with traditional energy and infrastructure jobs. The renewable energy is not the source of it. So that's where Biden should be concerned. 

PERINO: Yes, but there was an exchange on the Green New Deal last night too, which I'm sure we will talk about possibly coming up. Because CNN is taking some heat after critics blast that network for lobbying softball questions at Joe Biden last night. 


WATTERS: Basement Biden getting the softball town hall of a lifetime last night. CNN getting ripped for going easy on the former V.P., which stands in stark contrast to how President Trump was treated earlier this week during his own town hall with ABC. Take a look.


ANDERSON COOPER, ACNHOR, CNN: If you were president, could you see a scenario where you downplayed critical information so as not to cause panic? 

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: If you believe it's the president's responsibility to protect America, why would you downplay a pandemic? 

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: How will you handle Russia's involvement with Trump? 
How will we know the many ways he has compromised the United States? 

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS, CHIEF ANCHOR, ABC NEWS: But how do you stop police killing blacks at three times the rate of killing whites? 

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What is your plan to build a bridge with voters from the opposing party? 

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Why did you throw vulnerable people like me under the bus? 


WATTERS: Wow. And when you look at the montage when they cut it like that, Dana, it's a pretty stark contrast as I said. 

PERINO: Yes. So, you know, if I were a presidential candidate -- I'm looking down here because I've got something, I want to read to you because I think it's going to make everyone laugh. I would rather be Trump than Biden in this scenario. Because the debate is 10 days away. You have to practice like you play. 

And President Trump takes tough questions all the time. He bats them around. Sometimes he answers fantastically, other times it's like, my gosh, what is he saying? But he is used to really tough questions. Joe Biden is not. 

And remember one of the things about Joe Biden is he does have a temper. 
So, if President Trump can provoke that temper, that will come off pretty badly. 

I did want to point this out. The fact checker over at CNN said this last night about Joe Biden. Biden makes some false and misleading claims, but his assertions of fact have been largely factual. So, it just basically letting him off the hook completely. 

WATTERS: Largely factual. 


WATTERS: Greg, what did you think about last night? 

GUTFELD: Well, I didn't watch it. It was my sister's birthday so we went out to dinner, went downtown to a friend of mine's restaurant call Bistro Leo. 


GUTFELD: I had -- I had two chicken dished and we had too lovely wine. 


GUTFELD: So, I have -- basically playing catch up. And what I did do is I went to the CNN's web site. And you know how soft CNN was on Biden. When they can't deny it on their web site, Alice Stewart admits Joe got away with stuff at the town hall that he wouldn't have gotten away with at a debate. In the sense that no one held his feet to the fire because you need a pretty big fire to do that. 

It made me think about also, not just how they treated Trump but also -- I go back to that insidious town hall meeting on gun violence where they propped up that idiot sheriff. 


GUTFELD: Remember they made the idiot sheriff seem like a hero and they just went after and basically did a witch trial on Dana Loesch. It's like they don't hide their biases very well unlike me. 

WATTERS: Yes, you're the best at hiding your bias. The coward from Broward I remember that town hall.


WATTERS: All right. Emily, take a look at some footage here. You know, they made this big announcement at the top that they were going to be socially distant, and six feet. But when they thought they were going to a commercial break, they got up a little up close and personal, Anderson and Joe.


COOPER: When we come back, we'll have more questions from our audience from former Vice President Joe Biden. Thanks. 



COMPAGNO: Of course.

WATTERS: I mean, do we care about that or is that something that, you know, everybody does? 

COMPAGNO: Well, everybody probably does it. But I think what this indicates is the fact that Joe probably forgot that he had to socially distance. 

We keep talking about this being a softball town hall. It was wiffle ball, you guys, with literally friends and family. 


COMPAGNO: And all of his comments were just accepted. And I actually want to focus on one that I found the most galling for maybe a different reason than most. It was the Ivy League comment that he made about President Trump. We know it was false, of course. Many presidents have had, have been presidents without having that Ivy League degree. 

But the point to me is that it was an elitist privileged comment and it represents to me that Joe Biden that is in reality what everyone continues to ignore of his party. And it is exactly what the progressives, which are his handlers, are seeking to dismantle with their movement, which is the old white privileged male who furthers the notion that to succeed in this country or have value in this country, you have to have participated in and subscribed to this elitist structure that already exists. I found it pretty telling and like everything else, it went unchecked. 

WATTERS: Yes. Juan, one of the things I noticed with Joe and it's not just in this town hall, he has trouble answering these questions a lot. He's weakest part is when he talks about climate and energy. Fracking and the Green New Deal. He seems very unsure of himself. And he's constantly changing his positions with regards to those issues because of his crazy left-wing base. Do you see that as a problem going forward for him? Because he's having difficulty there. 

WILLIAMS: I am interested. I'll listen, Jesse. But I haven't seen that. I don't see it. I mean, what I saw -- first of all, obviously Trump didn't have to do the ABC town hall with undecided voters asking questions. He chose to do it. He walked in there. I think he's a big boy. He knows what's going on. 

The big difference in these town halls to me was not the questions because obviously at the ABC hall and also with Joe Biden, many of the questions came from the audience. It wasn't the journalists that you guys like to say are so biased. And I think the big difference here is empathy. It's the two men. 

Joe Biden clearly has empathy and Donald Trump clearly doesn't have empathy. A lot of voters vote on feelings even before they get to climate change and policy. And what they saw was a demonstration of someone who, you know, when he's asked about, you know, pre-existing conditions, doesn't have an answer, someone starts talking to him about someone dying of cancer, he goes off on COVID. 

You know, Joe Biden gets interrupted by a Republican, a Republican who says Joe, I'm not finished. And Biden says I'm sorry. Go right ahead and finishes. Look, I mean, I think that's a big show about who they are as human beings. And I think that was the message and it was not a good message for President Trump. 

GUTFELD: But I've got to say, when -- it's this kind of criticisms that are untethered -- it's great to say, you know, this person doesn't have any empathy. Well, maybe he should provide actual facts to back that up. The guy is sending tons and tons of money to people who are suffering. He's made an incredible economy before COVID. You could go -- he's ushering in these peace deals. 

But you have this incredible evidence that he lacks empathy. But you never tell us what are the actions that are coming from that lack of empathy, when his actions are exactly the opposite of that. We shouldn't -- well, none of us --


WILLIAMS: Well, I think that what happened --

GUTFELD: No, no. If this is the kind of achievements that you're getting from having no empathy, we should all not have empathy. 

WATTERS: Juan, do you want to give an example really quick? 

WILLIAMS: Well, I think that what we -- yes, I think what happened in -- you know, we learned with the Woodward book that he wasn't straight with the American people and put our health, our families at risk. That is lack of empathy.

GUTFELD: That's not -- no, it's not. 


GUTFELD: That's a misdiagnosis on your part. 

WATTERS: All right. Some people would say empathy is Donald Trump's greatest quality. 

GUTFELD: He would say that. 

WATTERS: Some people being Donald Trump. Up next, it only took three months. Nancy Pelosi finally is getting around to condemning violence. Why she's doing it now though? We'll tell you. 


COMPAGNO: Welcome back. What took her so long? Nancy Pelosi is finally condemning the looting and riots after almost four months. Here's the House Speaker.


REP. NANCY PELOSI (D-CA): We support peaceful demonstrations. We participate in them. They are part of the essence of our democracy. That does not include looting, starting fires or rioting. Those are -- they should be prosecuted. That is lawlessness. 


COMPAGNO: And some in the media continue to laugh off the increase in violence.


DON LEMON, HOST, CNN: You listen to conservative media, you would think that, you know, entire cities are just, you know, brawled in fights and fire and whatever. We went out to a great dinner in New York City tonight. 
People actually walk up to us and said thank you for, I watch you every night. I can't believe. They thought they did a double take at us actually hanging out. Not seeing us on the TV screen. But New York City was not, you know, a hell scape, was it? 

CHRIS CUOMO, HOST, CNN: I mean, the one guy who run with a machete who tried to guess. No, of course it isn't. 


COMPAGNO: Greg, the laughing over violence is revolting in my opinion. 

GUTFELD: Well, I think it's hilarious.

COMPAGNO: Will anyone on the left care? 

GUTFELD: I think it's hilarious.


GUTFELD: I tell you, man, I love it when the media admits to their impeccable research. Even though there was a 50 percent spike in murders in New York City August -- from August 2020 to August 29. Don Lemon went out to dinner and he wasn't killed. 


GUTFELD: He wasn't murdered. So therefore, the whole crime wave it just never happened. This is -- this is the state of journalism. That if it doesn't get close to you, if it doesn't affect your life, it didn't happen. 
He never -- he never went downtown during the looting. So apparently that didn't happen either, right? 


GUTFELD: And some -- I'm going to stop. But it just goes back to the point that they judge their suffering by how it affects them, which is why Nancy is now involved because it's going to affect her politically.

COMPAGNO: Juan, in some cities, including ones right by me here on the west coast, the looting and rioting is continuing. It's still going. Why did it take this long for Speaker Pelosi to condemn it?

WILLIAMS: Well, I think I can't think of one Democrat who condones rioting, looting, and fires. I mean, obviously, Joe Biden's condemned it and I think that Nancy Pelosi, you know, I think she should have done it sooner. If that's the point, Emily, I would have been braced it, but I mean, she's done it.

And no matter how slow she has been, she's faster than Donald Trump has been in condemning what the FBI director said just yesterday is the number one source of a threat to the homeland, which is white supremacist violence. He's never condemned that young man who killed two people in Kenosha. He never condemn -- 

GUTFELD: That's not true. He did it. It's in the transcript. He condemned white supremacy. You can look it up. I'll send it. I'll e-mail it to you, Juan. 

WILLIAMS: OK, fine. I appreciate it. 


WILLIAMS: But he's never condemned that guy who killed a security guard out in Oakland. So I mean, you know, this is -- to me, it's like a double standard.

COMPAGNO: Jesse, I'll let you respond to that and in how that might help the president during this election season.

WATTERS: Well, if he was asked to condemn whatever happened in Oakland, I'm sure he'd condemn it, Juan. But I mean, Cuomo was on CNN saying, where in the Constitution does it say that protests have to be peaceful? Jerry Nadler said, Oh, Antifa, that's a myth. 

You know -- you had -- you had governors and mayors refusing to call in the National Guard and just letting their cities burn it. Come on, Juan. I mean, you know -- you saw what happened all sorry. It's crazy. So -- but it's funny because you can see -- 

WILLIAMS: Cities burn down across America.

GUTFELD: They kind of did.

WATTERS: I mean, you've seen the footage, Juan. 

WILLIAMS: No, they didn't. You tell me, what city burned down? Come on, guys. 

WATTERS: Minneapolis, Kenosha.

GUTFELD: Minneapolis. $2 billion in insurance damage. 

WILLIAMS: Burned down? Oh, yes. Oh, yes, Minneapolis burned down. I see. 

GUTFELD: I guess those businesses ruined are funny to you too, Juan. Big joke. 

WILLIAMS: No, you said -- you said -- you guys make it out like cities burned down. This is like totally exaggeration. 

WATTERS: OK, where are the $2 billion in insurance cost come from? Where did they come from? You think that's insurance fraud?

WILLIAMS: I'm sorry, Jesse, I was interrupted. I didn't hear you.

COMPAGNO: If your livelihood was on that one block or those nine blocks, it would have gone. Sorry. We need to get Dana in here. Dana, what are your thoughts?

PERINO: Look, I think that Nancy Pelosi probably is looking at some polling and realizing that it is hurting Democrats. However, the lawn order message is not helping President Trump in some of the battleground states as much as his economic message which is why I think you're seeing the pivot.

COMPAGNO: OK, ahead college campuses going to extremes to stop the spread of COVID. How they are cracking down next.


WILLIAMS: A major COVID crackdown on some of America's top college campuses. Several colleges going to extremes to stop the spread of the Coronavirus after outbreaks all over the country. New York University reportedly suspended an online-only student who lives off-campus, but they suspended him indefinitely for attending a rooftop party. The student was caught on video and the video was reported to school administrators. In order to return to class, he has to write our reflection paper. Meanwhile, Ohio State joining other colleges in officially canceling spring break because of COVID-19. 

Greg, I think if I was that young man's dad, I'd be pretty upset. I wouldn't like it. But on the other hand, I come to you because I want to hear your thoughts, and why you is a private school, there are no rules about this, there's no guidance, so why shouldn't they set their own rules to protect students and professors?

GUTFELD: I guess -- I guess you're right. They can do it if it's a private school. But I am very, very -- I'm heartbroken over no spring break. 
There's going to be so many casualties. For example, think of the -- think of the industries that are going to suffer with no spring break, OK. The companies that sell crash diets. I mean, millions try to fit into that bikini like two weeks before spring break. Then there's the -- then there's the jello shot industry. This is essentially their Christmas season. 

And what about the creepy dudes that do sleazy beachside competitions, the wet t-shirt contest. They're going to be very lonely. And then what about the badly translated tattoos that you only get on spring break. And of course, without spring break -- without spring break, no college romances ever break up, right? Because you come back -- you come back and there's a picture or a text and then it's over. And that's going to -- you're going to be stuck with the same person for four years.

WILLIAMS: Oh my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Jesse, what about the absence of national guidelines for these colleges?

WATTERS: I mean, like you said, it's a private deal. And as someone who's written a few reflection papers, man, those -- I mean, that is still punishment, Juan. I got to tell you, that the last thing this kid wants to do. And you know, this is not an illegal act. He did not commit a crime. 

And if you take this out even further, you can say, if someone is having unsafe sex off-campus, then they can be suspended because there is a chance they could catch a disease and spread the disease all over campus endangering the health of the entire quad. You can't do that. 

So, I don't think this guy's going to write a reflection paper. I think he's going to write a letter, and his lawyer is going to sign it, and he's going to get out of this. Trust me.

WILLIAMS: Oh, OK. Dana, I wanted to shift a little bit to Nashville. 
Apparently, some of the city officials there, withheld data about low infection rates. And people are upset because they say hey, you're not being transparent.

PERINO: Well, I don't know a ton about this story, though. I know that there's a lot of interest in it. Of course, I have lots of friends in Nashville that we're sending this around and local officials there will have to answer any questions that there are about these things. I don't think there should be national guidelines. I think decisions are best made at the local level whenever possible. 

And in some cases, you haven't -- universities, these huge spikes, I know that's happening in Utah, but then you also have this really confusing messages. The University of Georgia, for example, announced that they would be having football, and they would be having fans in the stance, but they would not be able to host in-person voting. 

Then, that got turned around because people said that doesn't make any sense. But I think that a national mandate for any of these decisions is not a good one. Local decisions are best, even if they're this really tough and really complex.

WILLIAMS: Yes, I agree. Emily, Attorney General Barr, one of your fellow lawyers, he said that these restrictions on having people locked down and moving all that, he says -- incredibly to me, he says, you know, this is an intrusion -- invasion of your civil rights. It's akin to the worst invasion, then almost equal to slavery. Isn't that a bit much?

COMPAGNO: Well, I think the point that he's trying to make is one that is really valuable here, which is that if our constitutional rights are being infringed, then the law doing it needs to be narrowly tailored to further that legitimate goal. That application should be happening all over the country. 

And I want to make a quick point about that poor NYU student. He was, in fact, following New York City Public Law, and NYU didn't have a more restrictive policy at that point. So literally, he was following the rules, and he still got publicly shamed. And the saddest part about it is that he will probably lose his scholarship because he was suspended even if he's accepted back even if the reflection paper works. And he can't afford that tuition, and he already has a job offer, and that job offer is contingent upon him getting the diploma that he likely can no longer afford. 

So what we're watching play out is real-world consequences for these hair on fire, knee jerk decisions being made by these people in positions of power over others just to make their point.

WILLIAMS: Well, let's hope Jesse's lawyer comes through for him, Emily. 

WATTERS: I'll make a call. 



GUTFELD: Yes. "FAN MAIL FRIDAY," we're answering your question. All right, from Frenchi -- I haven't heard from her in a while. Who is your most interesting friend, Jesse?

WATTERS: I think I'm the most interesting friend of my friends. But besides me -- 


WATTERS: Nothing. 

GUTFELD: You should have said your wife. 

WATTERS: My wife. She's so interesting and I'm so interested in her.

GUTFELD: There you go. Oh, you are disgusting. Emily?

COMPAGNO: I have a million interesting friends. I will choose one, however, right now. She was born on an island to a Navy father and sort of a weekend mother. And so, she had this like half hippie, half military existence. 
She's incredibly intelligent, off the charts brilliant, majored in philosophy and dance, and has had this amazing career doing all these different things. And now she is an EMT firefighter here in Washington State. 

She's incredible and she shines a light wherever she goes. And everything that comes out of her mouth is really interesting and refreshing and unique and, and she's beautiful inside and out. 

GUTFELD: It sounds like a real bore. Hey, what does it have to do with -- what does it have to do with Twilight? That sounds literally like Twilight. 

COMPAGNO: And her name is Bella.

GUTFELD: Juan, who's your most interesting friend? It's OK to say me.

WILLIAMS: That's OK? OK, then Greg. Greg is my most interesting, compelling
-- you know, an intellectual friend. Yes, I would say so. Yes.

GUTFELD: Do you have an authentic one?

WILLIAMS: Oh, wait a minute. You can't -- you're doubting my compassion and my empathy. 

GUTFELD: All right.

WILLIAMS: I would say, you know, I know -- you know what I think is interesting is I know a lot of people in politics, Greg, and boy, I tell you they go up and down and all around. I don't know. Sometimes I think, are we really friends? But yes, we hang out, I guess. I don't know. It's difficult.

GUTFELD: That's true. Dana, how about you? Don't say Jasper.

PERINO: A lot goes through my head. 

GUTFELD: You can't say a dog. 

PERINO: I have to say Peter. Oh, yes, Jasper is definitely up there. You know, I'm going to say, President George Bush. 

WATTERS: Oh, name drop. 

WILLIAMS: That's a great one. 

GUTFELD: Yes. Wow. 

PERINO: Comfortably smug too.

GUTFELD: I have so many interesting friends. I'm going to take one that's not interesting. Brian Kilmeade. All right, good question. I saw -- 

WILLIAMS: What happened to Lou?

GUTFELD: You see, Lou is interesting -- Lou is the most interesting man in the world. And apparently, he sold a lot of T-shirts yesterday. He owes me a cut. Oh, who's your favorite T.V. mom? Who's your favorite T.V. mom, Dana?

PERINO: Oh gosh. Oh, Marge Simpson. 

GUTFELD: Oh, that's a good one. That's a great one. 

WILLIAMS: I like her. 

GUTFELD: Yes. Juan, would you agree or pick a different one? 

WILLIAMS: I'm old so I like Samantha. Remember, Bewitched. 

GUTFELD: Oh, yes, yes. 

WILLIAMS: I like her a lot. 

GUTFELD: Elizabeth Montgomery. I wonder what Tabitha is up to. 

WILLIAMS: Good memory. 

GUTFELD: Yes, she was not -- she was easy on the eyes, Emily. Your favorite T.V. mom?

COMPAGNO: OK, I'm like losing my mind, freaking out, and I know that I'll have like a ton come to my head later. But in this moment, I'm thinking of Downton Abbey which was totally my -- except -- or maybe that character in Revenge, the mom, because she was the ultimate villain. Do you guys know who I'm talking about? 





COMPAGNO: Thank you. The executive producer does and that's all that matters. Yes, she's amazing. I'll go with her. She's totally amazing. 

GUTFELD: All right, Jessie. 

WATTERS: Was Aunt Becky a mom?

GUTFELD: Aunt Becky?

WATTERS: Full House. 

PERINO: I think she was an aunt. 

GUTFELD: She became -- yes, she became one at the end. She goes to jail, is that the one?

WATTERS: Yes, I think she's in jail right now. Yes, she was good. I liked her. 

WILLIAMS: Oh, gosh. 

GUTFELD: There's an idea, Prison Moms. Maybe that's a bad idea. My favorite T.V. mom -- Marge Simpson's the best, but I'm going to go with the mom that I grew up with, Mrs. Cleaver from Leave it to Beaver. 

PERINO: That's a good one. 

GUTFELD: That was a good one, Barbara Billingsley, who -- wasn't she an airplane? Wasn't she the one that smoke jive on the plane? 

COMPAGNO: Yes, yes. 

GUTFELD: Wow. Oh, we got a tease now. Yes, yes, it's just came to me. Yes. 
And Hugh Beaumont. I love you Hugh Beaumont. "ONE MORE THING" is up next.


PERINO: Hey there. Before we get to "ONE MORE THING," we got a big surprise in store for you this Monday. Now, we'd love to tell you what it is but it's a secret, so you'll just have to join us on Monday to find out. I can't wait. 

All right, it's time now for "ONE MORE THING." I'll go first. Let's look at North Dakota for a moment. There is a community there that just did the most amazing thing for a man named Lane Unhjem. He had a heart attack when he was tending his crops and he had to go to the hospital and there was his combine caught fire. You could see that there.

So nearly 60 farmers but their own harvesting on hold to come out and cut over 1,000 acres of farmland for the Unhjems, 11 combine, six grain carts, and 15 semis were used for the seven-hour harvest. Neighbor said letting the crops go unharvested would have been a major setback for the family, and that helping out was just common sense. 

Lane was hospitalized, but he's in stable condition and no doubt, feeling good about his community and neighbors. So, we love to see that. 

COMPAGNO: I love that. It's awesome. 

PERINO: All right, Greg, what do you have?

GUTFELD: All right," THE GREG GUTFELD SHOW" tomorrow 10:00 p.m. I got -- what's her name? And I got Joel Pollak, Kat Timpf, and Tyrus. Hopefully, Emily will say "literally" maybe every segment, and talk about Twilight. 
And now, let's do this.


GUTFELD: Animals are great. Animals are great. Animals are great.


GUTFELD: Literally. Yes, Literally great. Literally great. Day six of my NFL boycott. I'm watching different sports like this ball game with my friends. Check out these cats. They're joining me. Look how interested they are in this game. Very interesting -- 


GUTFELD: They are -- they're adorable except that mustache looks a little fascist on the right. But I could just be, you know, just a -- just a chance. I can't control that little spot above the upper lip. 


GUTFELD: Yes, it is. 

PERINO: That is excellent.

GUTFELD: Thank you. 

PERINO: Very good "ONE MORE THING." All right, Jesse.

WATTERS: All right, Greg, I will see your cats and I will raise you some dogs. There we go. Does Jasper ever do this? He's just drinking some raindrops. He's thirsty.

GUTFELD: Drinking raindrop. 

WATTERS: That's what happens when you don't put water out for him. 

GUTFELD: Poor puppy. 

WATTERS: You know, beautiful. And speaking of drinking, "WATTERS' WORLD" 
8:00. Do you ever have a show where you feel drunk, but you're not? This was one of those shows. It felt good, you felt loose, you felt drunk? You didn't have anything to drink, but it felt like it. This was a show like that.

GUTFELD: So, wait, it's not live?

WATTERS: Greg, I hate you.

PERINO: OK, Juan. 

WILLIAMS: OK, so wildfires have been burning through the West in the last month, as you all know, leaving thousands homeless, 30 dead. But the heroism of the people fighting the fires caught the attention of a five- year-old Carver who lives in North Western Oregon. Yes, that's baby Yoda, the plush doll. And little Carver sent the doll and a thank you note to the firefighters. 

He said, many of them are far from home and need a friend. Now, pictures of the baby Yoda being held by firefighters, have their own Facebook page, and it's attracted thousands of followers. Way to keep hope alive, Carver. So cool. 


PERINO: That is awesome. That's great. Emily?

COMPAGNO: I'm a Ford girl, but Ram is doing something pretty awesome. They have a built to serve series. And today, in honor of the United States Air Force's 73rd birthday, they are releasing a built to serve 1,500 pickup trucks. The best thing about this whole series, you guys, is that they're built at an auto plant by U.S. military veterans.

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