'The Five' on Biden's poll numbers, job performance

This is a rush transcript from "The Five" October 8, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated. 

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST (on camera): Hello, everybody. I'm Jesse Watters along with Kennedy, Richard Fowler, Sandra Smith, and Greg Gutfeld. 

It's five o'clock in New York City, and this is THE FIVE. 

President Joe Biden's presidency is in a tail spin. And the bad news keeps piling up for the commander in chief. His spending a (Inaudible) and Democrats are divided over how to spend these trillions. 

Biden's poll numbers are cratering to an all-time low, inflation ramping up with prices surging and now add the jobs disaster to the list. Only 194,000 were added in September, far below the estimates anticipating a half a million jobs would be added. It's the worst jobs report of his presidency so far. But don't worry. Biden says he's making real progress. 


JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: Today's report as the unemployment rate down to 4.8 percent. A significant improvement from when I took office. The monthly total has bounced around. But if you take a look at the trend, it's solid. 

Things in Washington, as you all know, are often noisy. Turn on the noise and every conversation is a confrontation. Every disagreement is a crisis. But when you take a step back and look at what's happening, we're actually making real progress. Maybe it doesn't seem fast enough. I would like it faster. We're making consistent steady progress, though. 


WATTERS (on camera): And just yesterday Biden was bragging about the unvaxxed being fired. 


BIDEN: More lives are being saved. Let's be clear, when you see headlines and reports of mass firings and hundreds of people losing their jobs, look at the bigger story. 


WATTERS: So, he's saying it's good that unvaxed Americans were laid off. Kennedy, the recovery is stalling. That's clear. This was a v and then it started to fade. And there's millions and millions of jobs still open, about 11 million and Americans really aren't trying to fill them. 

KENNEDY MONTGOMERY, FOX BUSINESS HOST: Well, the White House can't make sense of it. And I think one of the biggest things they have going against them is they're being completely disingenuous with the messaging. And it's actually OK to let people know that sometimes things aren't great. 

And unfortunately, for this administration, a lot of things are going wrong and that's showing up in the polls. You know, the Quinnipiac poll that we showed, every single measure the president is underwater. The economy, coronavirus, immigration. 


MONTGOMERY: Afghanistan, inflation, it's all bad for him. And you know, things like inflation, Sandra will tell you, that's not getting better anytime soon. And even the fed which was doing the same thing the White House does, which is try to paint this short-term rosy picture, now they have to admit that it's a long-term problem. And I just, I get really sick of sitting through briefings from the president and from Jen Psaki and the communications team where they essentially are lying to people. 

WATTERS: Yes. What about what you said, Richard, if you have a problem in this recovery, why doesn't the president just say listen, we've slowed it down, here's what I'm going to do to address it, just be patient. We got this. Instead he just spins and lies and that's why people don't trust them.

FOWLER: Well, listen, I tend to agree with Kennedy here. I think that the White House could have come out today and said, listen, this is not the best jobs report and that speaks to why we need the Build Back Better plan. And I think that he could have made a pivot to talk about how this one -- the one thing -- the one thing we saw on this jobs report were a lot of the losses of jobs were two women. Right? 

A lot of women lost jobs in this report which speaks to the fact that, you know, a lot of women aren't going back to work because they have child care issues, a lot of women aren't going back to work because of wage issues. 

All things that Biden has talked about over and over again addressing in the Build Back Better plan. So there's been a great opportunity for him to say hey, hey, it's not going well but when we pass this plan, women will be able to have some help when it comes to paying for child care. So, they can be back to work, they can be back in their offices and they don't have to worry about how they are going to pay the mortgage that now is early childhood education for many families. 

So, I would hope to see this president come out and really talk about what his agenda is and now his agenda can move the whole country forward, not just Democrats, not just Republicans but the entire country. 

WATTERS: Yes, weird, because Greg was saying in the green room how he was happy that women were not coming back and they deserve to stay home. 

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CO-HOST: Yes. You know what, I wish you'd kept that private, but now everybody knows what a sexist pig I am. Every time I hear build back better I just want to say build back Brandon, build back Brandon. 

If Joe's poll numbers are really in the toilet maybe activists might form a line outside to talk to them. Yes. 

WATTERS: I like it. 

GUTFELD: It's Friday, I don't care. All right. Can you imagine if Joe faced the same scrutiny as Trump did? Or if Trump faced the same scrutiny as Joe Biden did? So, if Trump would either be the greatest president that ever lived if he had the Joe treatment and Joe would be the worst president that ever lived if he got the Trump treatment. I find that highly interesting, I think. 

This guy has been in politics for over half a century and he sucks. So, this isn't -- this isn't really a comment on Biden. It tells you that politics, the longer you are in it, the experience doesn't improve your competence. In fact, it might be the reverse. 

WATTERS: Look at Fauci. 


WATTERS: They are forever. 

GUTFELD: It might be -- this could be the condition where the more you are in something, the worse you become. Which is, when you compare Trump, who was never in politics who did more in a year than Biden did in a lifetime, no political experience, right? Love him or hate him, emotionally, he hurts me so much. 

He did a lot. Have we talked about North Korea in a while? Anyway, the fact is Biden has been around forever. He's terrible, awful but you look at a lot of people, it's not just him. It's Kerry as well, it is Fauci, it is Pelosi. The longer people are in this machine the worse it is, and I don't know what the answer to it is except maybe we stop electing these lifers. Force them out. 

WATTERS: And he blames everything on COVID, Sandra. 

SMITH: That was a little concerting that the COVID excuse was still there when explaining the missed on the jobs report. I feel like I want to just do a bit of a service to our viewers and say that, I was just chatting with Larry Kudlow and probably he would take every reason to criticize this jobs report. 

He feels like the media actually really got this wrong and that there was actually some really notable gains in the jobs report that we should highlight the big drop that held back that headline job growth numbers was the local government education jobs fell 144,000. 

There was otherwise gains. People are going back into leisure and hospitality. I think you saw a gain in entertainment, the recreation sector. There were actually some notable gains and average hourly earnings to go up, so I don't want to take away from that. 


GUTFELD: Are those gains -- are those gains when you are just replay -- going back to what was there? 

WATTERS: Yes, we're still a million short. 


SMITH: The point is the loss is the government education is seen as seasonal. Anyway, that being said, to your point about messaging, when I saw Joe Biden speaking at that podium today, obviously, there wasn't a real opportunity to take a victory lap, but the messaging and the acknowledgment of the reality of the situation when it comes to inflation, he is pulling horribly when it comes to inflation. 

People don't want to be spending more for d absolutely everything. He's got some major supply chain crisis going on right now to the point where we are going to our local pharmacies and grocery stores and they don't have our basic needs. 

I mean, this is a huge problem that has to be acknowledged by this administration. You are not seeing that happen. But the other thing was, he used that speech today after the jobs report to talk a lot about and to pitch his infrastructure package as a way to get people back to work. Well, fine. Then separate the two -- 

MONTGOMERY: Absolutely. 

SMITH: -- take an up or down vote on this stand-alone infrastructure bill if that's the key to getting people back to work. Why doesn't he ask Congress to do that? 

WATTERS: But he can't do that because they are now on a two track. If the moderates vote for the 1.5 infrastructure, they are probably not going to go for the 3.5 trillion. 

MONTGOMERY: But at least the president gets a win. You know, to Sandra's point, at least he gets when they need it desperately given these poll numbers. 

SMITH: Do it. 

MONTGOMERY: It's just, you know, horrible politics all the way around. 

SMITH: It will be a huge win. 


SMITH: Bipartisan win. 

WATTERS: We need to win, America needs a win, forget about Biden. 

Coming up, parents firing back at Biden's FBI crackdown. Plus, wait until you hear how the media is smearing them. 


SMITH (on camera): Well, parents are pushing back against the FBI crackdown on school board protests. One Florida mom getting a standing ovation as she slams the DOJ's move to threaten parents. 


QUISHA KING, MEMBER, MOMS FOR LIBERTY: They want to silence us and shut us down. The only thing to do is have a mass exodus from the public school system. That's it. 


SMITH (on camera): And the media mocking concern, parents going as far as labeling them violent extremists. 


UNKNOWN: When people who just want to volunteer and do their civic duty end up getting threatened by a violent extremist, it is a high threat environment we're in. 

UNKNOWN: To me, is this really about people being upset about mask mandates, or are there sort of underlying disruptive forces, white nationalist, anarchist, whatever in this country that are using mask mandates and a public health crisis to sort of wage scales. 

UNKNOWN: Conservatives manufactured outrage over mask and history lessons. They took our school boards hostage like a bunch of screaming maniacs. 


SMITH (on camera): But despite the NSBA begging the Biden administration to intervene, a report from National Review revealing the vast majority of incidents didn't even escalate to more than verbal exchanges. With 16 of the 24 cited involving no threat of physical violence. 

Jesse, is this manufactured outrage? 

WATTERS: It is, and I read the same letter and I could only find one actual threat. Someone just mailed a letter to the school board and said we are going to get you. You're going to pay a price. And that's the local jurisdiction. The FBI doesn't need a task force to handle that. The rest of the things they consider domestic terrorist threats, chanting, holding up a sign, refusing to wear a mask, objecting to critical race theory. 

Exceeding their allotted speaking time at the meeting. One guy got a summons because he wouldn't leave after he was loud and then yelling. None of that is considered something you'd prosecute under the Patriot Act. They are -- this is a snowflake letter. I read the whole thing. I get more threats after each show than they've gotten all year. 

And if you think they can only compile 24 incidents of a threatening behavior, a country of 300 million people, for an entire year and they can only come up with one mean letter, that means the thing doesn't even add up. 

SMITH: Greg, is this the federal government wanting to silence these parents? 

GUTFELD: It's a combination of the Democrats, the media and activist class in an attempt to control the population, really. And imagine how real terrorists must feel. This is deeply offensive when you're working really hard as a terrorist and they're calling this decent mom and dad terrorist. 

But imagine being a parent, when you are around the t word, I mean, that's war. I'm serious about it. If you want to read pill millions of parents, call them terrorists and then use the government to prosecute them, you are going to -- you are going to energize millions of people and what are you going to be left with? You're not going to be left with the tea party, you are not going to be left with Black Lives Matter, you are going to have something that's bigger than both of them combined. 

I'm for it. I would like to see the parents become politically reborn. I would like them just the exodus from the public schools. I would like them to embrace a school choice in every city but this is going to be the new BLM. The more you target these people, the more you try to drive them underground, the more you try to scare the crap out of them by calling them terrorists, you are going to just create a monster and you're not going to know what to do with it. 

SMITH: And was this even worthy of labeling parents violent extremists or terrorists or whatever it is, Richard, when we saw that a majority of these incidents didn't involve actual physical threats. 

FOWLER: And I hope they don't, right? I hope none -- nobody gets prosecuted here. But I do think that there is a clear -- for me there is clear bright line. If you go to our school board meeting, just like our city council meeting, just like our congressional meeting, they are open to the public and you should be able to go and voice your opinion. Whether you do it with a little bit of anger or you do it with a heavy face. 

With that being said, once the bright line for me is once you voicing your opinion goes to you sending a letter or you engaging in a death threat or you harassing somebody physically. We've seen a couple instances of that happening. And I think those have to be prosecuted and you have to make a clear distinction between the two. 

Going to a school board meeting and having your voice heard is one thing. You should be allowed to do that. If you decide that you're going to engage physically with somebody or you're going to send a threatening letter to their office, that's something else that should be taken very seriously. 

And the case that comes to mind for me as you think at what happened to Gabby Giffords. Why we have to take this case seriously? Because one incident that doesn't get investigated could be an elected official getting wounded, an elected official getting hurt. 

But there's a very clear bright line being going to a meeting and being angry and sending a threatening letter. And I think most of the parents who go to these meetings are angry and upset because of the school board decision. Very few, minimally, go to the point of I'm going to now threaten somebody's life or I'm going to cause harm to somebody. And for those folks who decide to cause harm, they are breaking American -- 


MONTGOMERY: Well, there are laws against that, right? 

GUTFELD: We can easily use -- 

SMITH: There's laws in the book. 

GUTFELD: -- this shooting and put that on Democrat. We can say, because of the school shooting, anybody who comes into a meeting and spouses some kind of liberal whatever, that's a threat. That's the conflation, that's what we are seeing right now. 

MONTGOMERY: But no one is going to be more passionate about an issue than parents and their own children. 

GUTFELD: Right. 

MONTGOMERY: And that's where the difference is. And the unions and the politicians, particularly Democrats have been working hand-in-hand to keep parents out of the process and it is an incredibly dishonest undertaking. And that's why they are so upset. Because you know what, parents, we sat around and we watch our kids atrophy in their bedrooms, on Zoom while their teachers did hide behind their unions, whatever they could to work as few as three hours a day. 

And you know they had asynchronous learning, which was essentially videos that they are playing where kids were not learning. And now, kids aren't being tested to find out what the deficits were during the pandemic because these unions are protecting them. 

So, parents have seen behind the curtain and they are pissed. And so, what they are doing is trying to protect their kids and take back their education because they have been disconnected from the process for so long. 

And you're absolutely right. This is just the start and you're seeing more and more parents, and they are not just white nationalists. You're seeing a lot of Asian parents and Southeast Asian parents and Persian parents who are actively targeted in places like Los Angeles because they are very vocal about their kids' education. And I hope it becomes a cultural norm once again the parents are involved and they care deeply and they make sure that the curriculum serves -- 


SMITH: I do feel like every time we have these conversations. I want to say there are so many teachers that do care so deeply -- 


SMITH: -- about their students all over the country. Many work in public schools. 


SMITH: This is obviously a problem in some areas of the country. To the mom though who suggested that the only solution is an exodus from the public school system, real quick, Jesse, what did you think? 

WATTERS: Well, it sounds great on paper but not everybody can afford private schools or Catholic schools and not everybody has the school choice option or the homeschool option. 

GUTFELD: They should. 

WATTERS: But I like the sentiment behind it, and I think if people feel that way, they should do whatever they need to do. 

SMITH: OK. Up next, -- 


SMITH: -- people fed up with liberal cities are fleeing billionaire Elon Musk. The latest ahead for the exits. 


MONTGOMERY: It's the Cardigans on The Five. It is a major backlash to liberal policy, citizens are fed up with rising crime, high taxes, homelessness, and COVID restrictions. And now more and more companies and people are fleeing liberal cities for red states. Elon Musk becoming the latest to exit announcing Tesla's headquarters are headed to Texas. 


ELON MUSK, CEO, TESLA MOTORS: I'm excited to announce that we are moving our headquarters to Austin, Texas. 


MUSK: Just to be clear, though, we will be continuing to expand our activities in California. This is not a matter of sort of Tesla leaving California. It's tough for people to afford houses and a lot of people like to come in from far away. And so, it's a -- we are taking it as far as possible but it's a limit to how big you can scale in the Bay Area. 


MONTGOMERY (on camera): My gosh, it's so expensive in the Bay Area, I could only find a 16-bedroom mansion there, Richard, on my budget. But the problem with places like California, and New Jersey, and New York, the taxes are so high and people worked remotely during the pandemic, so now they have a very different vision of where they can live, especially companies like Tesla. They are going to Texas because their employees will be happy or that they can actually afford housing. 

FOWLER: Well, true. I mean, I think Elon is also keeping a lot of his operations in California. And also, if you are basing it off Elon Musk, there's a problem there. But I do think that we have -- I think there are some interesting things happening all across the country, you see some cities doing things really well, and other cities are not. 

And the cities that I want to focus on are cities like Cincinnati, right, which is a medium-sized city but what they were able to do with the American rescue money was they were able to deal with many of the problems that you outlined at the top of the show. They use the American rescue money to build community safety programs, to increase health and wellness, they also did -- they also some re-examining on how they did criminal justice. 

So, they decrease their crime rates by getting to the problem early, right, get into the root cause of the problem and trying to find ways to deal with it. And I think that's how cities can be effective at keeping folks in their cities and keeping their cities safe. There are cities that were doing it terribly like Mayor Lori Lightfoot, but they are also cities that do it very well and they're trying to overcome the problems that were caused by COVID. And so, for us to sort of group all big cities into one big bucket might not be the best way to think about it. 

SMITH: Maybe you should offer us a few more cities who are getting it right. Because Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot, that's a mess. 

FOWLER: I give you that one. 

SMITH: But (Inaudible) had a largest hedge fund on the planet -- 


SMITH: -- says we've got to leave. I can't recruit top talent to work at my hedge fund if they can't move their families here and feel safe walking down the street. He's a multibillionaire, has the richest property in all of the state of Illinois, and he said he woke up one morning to 24 bullet holes in the retail space of his apartment building in Chicago. He can't with good conscience recruit people to live there and not feel safe walking down the street. 

That being said, Elon Musk the move to Austin and to Texas, I don't think this is a surprise. He's been threatening to do that for a while. Gavin Newsom is getting to the point where his best pitch is the weather in California.


SMITH: Not kidding. 

MONTGOMERY: Twenty-three percent of people -- excuse me -- according to the University of California poll, 23 percent of Californians are considering leaving the state. 

SMITH: Why not. But good luck with Austin real estate prices heads up. Austin is not cheap either. But certainly, there's a lower tax environment, there is safety thing where recruitment would be easier for Tesla and it's a lower tax environment at the end of the day, companies will follow that note to the blue states and blue cities out there. 

MONTGOMERY: Greg, you just spent a week in Nashville. 

GUTFELD: Yes, I did. It was wonderful. 

MONTGOMERY: With Gutfeld exclamation point. 

GUTFELD: It was wonderful. 

MONTGOMERY: What did you find? What were people saying and is it an optimistic place as opposed to places like New York and California where people are rounded down by the crime, homelessness, and high taxes? 

GUTFELD: It's always -- it always comes back to the high taxes because I am willing to pay high taxes if I get quality stuff. But why pay taxes to a government who won't protect you and instead sides with the thugs and junkies and derelicts who put your life in danger. That's how I feel when I live in New York. 

I can't tell you how much I spend in taxes and the mental illness that you see on the street, the crime. It's like they are just laughing in your face. Mayor De Blasio's wife runs the mental illness program, $800 million that's a lot of tax money, nothing has happened. Nothing has happened. People are on the street literally dying on the streets. 

About moving to -- moving to better cities, if you leave a Democrat city and you move to a city and you vote Democrat, meaning you bring your voting tendencies to there, every neighbor gets to pee on your lawn. Because if you're going to move to get away from something and then you bring your garbage here, that's not fair. 

There should be a way for citizens to easily sue the government for not providing a safe environment. If criminals are released after a crime, they should be able to sue the government. The government - - it's not their fault that there are criminals, but it's their fault that they're negligent about the criminals. 

And my last point is, it's always good after a breakup for new scenery and i think that you know Elon Musk after breaking up with Grimes, maybe he just wanted to get out of California, too many memories. 

SMITH: Oh, boy. 

GUTFELD: Because Grimes is an amazing performer and a beautiful woman. And he made the biggest mistake of his life leaving her. I can understand (INAUDIBLE). I can understand it. 

WATTERS: Greg has a crush. 

SMITH: Wow. 

KENNEDY: That's a big one. Jesse -- 

WATTERS: Kate Steinle sued, her family, California. 


WATTERS: And it went up to the ninth circuit. And the night circuit said no way. And that's what happens. You don't get favorable court rulings. I think -- I think I speak for the entire table when -- why are you laughing? 

GUTFELD: Because I'm afraid -- 

WATTERS: When I say that Fox News management -- 


WATTERS: -- should move headquarters from Manhattan to Texas, we wouldn't pay any state, we wouldn't pay any city taxes. We would be so rich, even richer than Greg already is now. 


WATTERS: I had a friend who, after Joe Biden got elected, he moved from Manhattan to Texas and he doesn't pay any state and income taxes. He is filthy rich. 

KENNEDY: Is his name Wesley Snipes? 

WATTERS: No. He is filthy rich and I'm extremely jealous about this. It's not just people moving. We have Smith and Wesson just moved out of Taxachusetts. 

KENNEDY: Hewlett-Packard. 

WATTERS: Hewlett-Packard just moved to Houston. Ford just decided not to build any of their electric vehicle plants in Michigan. Sorry, Whitmer. She's now going to build them in Tennessee. Everyone is going to Tennessee. 

SMITH: To be sure, there's (INAUDIBLE) 

WATTERS: Everyone is going to Florida. And I just remember when De Blasio wouldn't let anybody eat inside here in Manhattan. I just drive across the river to New Jersey and New York City waitresses lost out on all of my generous tip. 


WATTERS: And that is a damn shame because -- 


WATTERS: Why would you think that I wouldn't tip generously?

FOWLER: I don't know. I'm just -- 

WATTERS: Have you heard things? Is it getting out? But it's true. But that's the beauty of the federalist system. You have states that are different and you can move there if you want better treatment for your capital. 

GUTFELD: I mean the great thing about Applebee's is there's one in every city. 

WATTERS: That's where I went when I went into New Jersey. 

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. 


KENNEDY: They do have a wonderful hurricane. It is delightful. All right, guess what's up next, "THE FASTEST." Stay with us. 


FOWLER: Welcome back. It's time for "THE FASTEST." First up, Twitter is testing out a new feature that will warn you if users are getting into a conversation that could be heated. The company says its aim is to support healthy conversations. Jesse, what's your take on this? 

WATTERS: There's no healthy conversations on Twitter. It's a cesspool. And everybody knows it's successful and that's why they love it. 

FOWLER: I tend to agree with that. I mean, Sandra, Twitter isn't a place. So, how do you sort of -- how does this feature work? 

SMITH: I don't want to know, and I try to avoid social media. But apparently, an alert reminds users that diverse perspectives have value. Someone needs to alert Twitter to that because I don't -- I don't think they got that that heads up. 

GUTFELD: It's -- I think I was the first one to say that Twitter is a bathroom wall. 


GUTFELD: It's replaced that, you know, going in and writing something. But this is stupid. We're not children. Twitter should be focusing on Twitter trends, right? Because Twitter trends collates the irrational mob attacks into a table of contents. So, you go on you look -- oh, look, Kenny Loggins is trending. And you go -- you find out, oh my God, he did something. And then everybody -- it tells you -- Twitter trends is one of the most destructive things on social media because it directs people to somebody who's in hot water. 

FOWLER: Then it's a heated conversation. 

SMITH: Yes. 

GUTFELD: And everybody likes to go watch -- would watch the frog boil in that, you know, bucket of hate. 

WATTERS: Right. 

FOWLER: Kennedy? 

KENNEDY: It's like when playboy stop showing boobies. It's a really bad marketing strategy. 

WATTERS: When did that happen? 

KENNEDY: That was their whole thing. 

FOWLER: That was -- they stopped showing -- 

KENNEDY: Yes, well -- 

WATTERS: Playboy doesn't show nudity? 

KENNEDY: No. They stopped. They're like, we really just want to be about the articles for real. I know men have been saying that for a long time. Yes, so -- and like, when Tumblr was like no, we're done with porn. No one uses Tumblr anymore. It's like that's what people go to Twitter for. They go because it's abusive. 

FOWLER: That's a great segue. 

KENNEDY: It's filthy. 

FOWLER: Next up, video games could be a lot of fun, but it could actually improve your help -- health, rather. Researchers find that playing active video games can produce the similar benefits to exercising on a treadmill. Sandra, you're a runner so would video games suffice for 10 miles run? 

SMITH: I don't know. I just love another opportunity to challenge Jesse to a race. Yes. 

FOWLER: And this one -- I mean, I think you can actually -- I think you might beat her in video games. 

SMITH: The same people who wrote this study are the same people who probably write studies about how bad video games are for your brain. So, Kennedy, help. 

KENNEDY: I think getting a workout from playing video games is like getting pregnant watching pornography. 

GUTFELD: That can happen, you know. 

SMITH: Oh, gosh. 

FOWLER: So, Greg, I have one for you. So, there's a lot of surgeons that actually play video games to help them with their -- 


KENNEDY: Dexterity. 

FOWLER: Their dexterity and doing sutures. So, could it actually be true that it could be a good exercise instead of going on a treadmill? 

GUTFELD: It could be, specially -- I mean, like you're comparing it to jogging on a treadmill which as you know is not healthy. I mean jogging is not healthy. It'll kill you. 



GUTFELD: I don't have anything to back that up. But I was thinking -- I was thinking that like the worst video game ever would be one where you're jogging. Could you imagine a video game -- 

SMITH: It would be amazing. 


SMITH: If you -- have you ever had -- 

GUTFELD: Running is -- 

SMITH: Have you a runner's high? 

GUTFELD: Look, I -- 

WATTERS: He's had every other high besides running. 

GUTFELD: I wrote for Runners World. Running is the most miserable things on the planet. 

FOWLER: So, wait. You wrote for a running magazine and you didn't run? 

GUTFELD: Oh, I ran. I ran but it ruined my hips, it ruined my knees, it ruined a lot of things. 

KENNEDY: Are you a Labrador? 



WATTERS: Very brittle bone. 

GUTFELD: I am. Holm me. 

FOWLER: Jesse, what's -- 

WATTERS: I don't want to -- I don't want to weigh in. I feel like I'm going to make a weight joke that's going to be inappropriate. And you know, it's Friday, so let's get out of here. 

FOWLER: And one more topic. Remember the class clown? It turns out that that might be the smartest person in the room. A new study suggests that having a sense of humor can actually be a sign of intelligence. 

WATTERS: Who picked this topic? Who picked this? 


FOWLER: And Fox News alert. We have somebody who was actually voted the funniest person, the class clown, Miss Kennedy. 

KENNEDY: I only won two polls in junior high. I was voted class clown in high school. I was voted most likely to be a talk show host. 

FOWLER: So does that make you the smartest person at the table? 

KENNEDY: No. I mean, yes, but I'll be humble. Like, oh, no. 

WATTERS: No. it's either Gutfeld or Kennedy, no offense you two. So, I work smarter than both of them though. I know how to delegate. 

FOWLER: So, Greg, you're a comedian. Were you voted class clown? 

GUTFELD: Yes, I was. But I wasn't -- I'm not a comedian. I was an editor all my life. I've never -- I've never done stand-up and I never will. I was the class -- 

WATTERS: Because you hurt your hips. 

GUTFELD: I was class clown though at SerraHigh School. But I -- the weird thing about this is no one in history ever thought they weren't funny. The least funny people will often say they think that they're funny. 

WATTERS: Name names. 

GUTFELD: No. Well, no, but it was a point that Kat Timpf made up that like really, really good-looking people think they're funny because no one will tell them they're not funny. So, if there's a -- if you -- if you meet a really beautiful girl at a bar and she makes a really stupid joke, you're going to laugh. So, she goes, guys think I'm really funny. 

And then a really, really hot guy is like, all the girls think I'm hilarious and it's all because you're good looking. So, you've got a whole population of really good-looking people who aren't funny but think they are. 

FOWLER: Jesse, what's your take? 

WATTERS: What is my take, Richard? 

FOWLER: Yes. What's your take on this? 

WATTERS: I want to hear more about Gutfeld's thoughts on hot guys. 

FOWLER: Sandra? 

GUTFELD: You really -- 


SMITH: I think there's -- I think there's definitely something to this because there's something that people who are really, really funny are trying to overcompensate. 

WATTERS: Yes. What is it? What is it that you're trying to overcompensate? 

GUTFELD: I don't know. 

WATTERS: What specifically -- 


FOWLER: That's why he's overcompensating. 

KENNEDY: Whenever I see a beautiful person who has just has a horrific personality, I have pity on them and I think -- I feel so sad for you because you've never been ugly. 


FOWLER: Talking about -- 

GUTFELD: And nobody will tell -- nobody will tell them. 

FOWLER: Talking about -- talking about ugly people, "FAN MAIL FRIDAY" is up next. 


GUTFELD: This isn't the right one. I wanted the original Mission Impossible. All right, this show is done. 

WATTERS: Thank you. 

GUTFELD: These producers are too young. I wanted the original -- anyway, "FAN MAIL FRIDAY." This is a good question from Ron. Who was the first notable person that you had your picture taken with? I love this question. Kennedy. You worked at MTV, but maybe something before that? 

KENNEDY: That's a great question. The first notable person had my picture taken with was in high school. I visited New York City with my fellow theater and choir nerds and we talked away onto David Letterman sets and Paul Shaffer took a picture with us. And I was such a huge Letterman fan in high school that it made my life. 

GUTFELD: That is great. Richard? 

FOWLER: I didn't have my picture taken with them but on the -- I was on the Today Show on the third grade for giving Valentine's grams to veterans. And I asked Janet Jackson to be my valentine. She didn't respond but here I am anyway. 

WATTERS: You dodged a bullet. 

GUTFELD: Yes. It wouldn't work anyway. Age difference. 


GUTFELD: Jesse? 

WATTERS: The Philly Phanatic. I got a photo with the Philly Phanatic. 

GUTFELD: That is notable. 

WATTERS: He kissed me when I was very young. It was cute. 

GUTFELD: Oh really? That would be considered almost perverted. 

WATTERS: No, with a costume on, like the big fat nozzle. 

FOWLER: It needed clarification. 

GUTFELD: Yes, what if -- you know, what if you didn't -- well, anyway. Sandra? 

SMITH: I actually had to think back. I was -- when -- you're jogging my memory. I went to a brunch when I was maybe in like, sixth grade, definitely like early middle school, downtown Chicago, and there was Carol Moseley Braun, the first American female senator. 

KENNEDY: Oh, wow. 

SMITH: And I had brunch with her. I took my picture with her. 

WATTERS: Is she that famous? 

SMITH: And I still have it. 

FOWLER: She's a big deal. 

SMITH: She was the -- 

GUTFELD: Oh, I could beat that. 

WATTERS: Philly Phanatic, come on. 

GUTFELD: I'm trying to remember. 

FOWLER: With the mask on. 

GUTFELD: I have a tie between Bozo the Clown -- do you remember? Everybody had a Bozo the Clown picture. Or I went to a car show at the Cow Palace in San Francisco. And you always have celebrities there. And I have my picture taken with Martin Milner and Kent McCord. 

WATTERS: I've never heard of either. 

GUTFELD: Adam-12. 

WATTERS: I've never heard of Adam-12. 

FOWLER: I'm going to have to Google those. 

KENNEDY: Oh, my God. 

GUTFELD: Martin Milner, great actor. Kent McCord, good actor. Anyway, you guys at home understand. What -- this is a good question from Paula. What was the last thing you built yourself? Sandra? 

SMITH: I have a 6-year-old boy. And he literally bought a bunch of pieces of wood last weekend, and just had nails and a hammer. And we made a box. 


SMITH: And he put his trucks in it. And we made it together, and it felt down. 

GUTFELD: Wow. That's pretty good. You made a box. Jesse, do you -- have you -- what was it? 

WATTERS: Nothing comes to mind. I've opened some things and then hired people to build it for me. I don't build. It's just something I don't do. 

GUTFELD: Yes, it's a smart move. 

WATTERS: I just don't do it. 

SMITH: Wow. 

WATTERS: I think it's dangerous. I opened a ping pong table and then I looked at how complicated it looked and we hired someone. 

GUTFELD: Isn't that great when you open up a box and you go, no, this is not happening. 

WATTERS: No, not for me. It's a waste of time. 

GUTFELD: It happened to me recently but Richard, go ahead. 

FOWLER: Oh, that's a good one. So, during the pandemic, we were all doing hits from our living room. I was sort of having over the lights in the living room. So, I decided to turn part of my garage into a studio. And I went to Home Depot, got the paint, got the stuff, and I built a little home studio at my garage. It is what you see when you see me on air. 

SMITH: Fancy. Wow. 

GUTFELD: It's pretty good. 

WATTERS: Anything to get on air, Richard. 

FOWLER: It takes one to know one, Jesse. 

GUTFELD: Jesse, definitely. 

WATTERS: All right. 

GUTFELD: All right, Kennedy. 

KENNEDY: I actually built my daughter's bed from wayfarer. 

SMITH: Wow. 

KENNEDY: It's 700 pieces. 

WATTERS: That's hard. 

KENNEDY: It was a lot of cursing. There's a tiny Allen wrench that you have to MacGyver both ways, like the short side and the long side and twisting and moving and bending and eventually got it done. 

FOWLER: More handy than Jesse. 

SMITH: Did you ever see that report about the number of divorces that happened over putting together IKEA furniture? 

GUTFELD: You know, IKEA furniture is really good kitchens. 

WATTERS: Kitchens? 

GUTFELD: People make fun of IKEA but they -- their kitchens are -- not that I have one. I ordered -- I ordered a turntable and he came in different parts. That ticked me off. This is the last thing I tried to put together and I gave up because I couldn't get my stubby fingers -- 

WATTERS: The turn table. Scratching records, Gutfeld? 

GUTFELD: No, I played vinyl you silly little man. And -- but I couldn't get the rubber band around the belt -- the belt around the thing so my wife had a sticker narrow fingers in there. 

SMITH: Quit your day jobs, guys. 

WATTERS: Wives are good for that. They get very narrow fingers. 

GUTFELD: Women can -- because -- and they're so sensitive -- their fingers are so sensitive, they can do anything. They can -- 

FOWLER: Really now? 

GUTFELD: They pick things out of your -- they pop zips, they do all sorts of -- 

FOWLER: Really now? 

GUTFELD: Yes, well, they love doing it. 

KENNEDY: Oh Dr. Pimple Poppers. 

GUTFELD: The podcast with Dr. Pimple Poppers. You have to see the Pimple Poppers podcast. 


GUTFELD: "ONE MORE THING" is up next. 


WATTERS: It's time now for "ONE MORE THING." We got my Feeding Frenzy. Let's do it. 

GUTFELD: It's pretty good. 

WATTERS: All right. So, Pepsi's taking baseball fans out to the ballgame and giving them one more thing to be excited about in October. Did you see what I did there, Greg? 


WATTERS: With Pepsi and Cracker Jack. And it's the Pepsi sing-to-score program. Here's what you have to do. Your fans post a video singing Take Me Out To The Ballgame -- you've heard of it -- with the hashtags #PepsiSingTheScore and sweepstakes, and you can win 2000 cans of this stuff. 

GUTFELD: Don't -- 

WATTERS: Everybody, let's -- Greg? 

GUTFELD: I smell it. It's repulsive. 


KENNEDY: It's quite delicious. I'm a fan. I like caramel and popcorn. Hello! 

FOWLER: Did you taste it? 

KENNEDY: And Pepsi. I did. 

WATTERS: I like it. 

FOWLER: That after taste. 

WATTERS: It's really strong. 

KENNEDY: There's one little bit of vanilla vodka in here. 

WATTERS: There is a lot going on in that thing, so check it out if you're into it. 

FOWLER: I think it might taste better with -- 

WATTERS: You'll get the Cracker Jack cans. Also, check "WATTERS' WORLD" out. We have Newt Gingrich, Victor Davis Hanson, Peter Schweizer, Adam Carolla, and Raymond Arroyo. No women. It's -- you know, they obviously can't find jobs in the Biden economy. 

Also, I'm going to be hosting "FOX NEWS PRIMETIME" all next week at 7:00 p.m. Eastern, so tune in for that. Greg, you're next. 

GUTFELD: All right, tonight, "GUTFELD!" We have Morgan Ortagus, Carley Shimkus, Michael Loftus, Kat Timpf, 11:00 p.m. Check it out. 

SMITH: Plenty of women. 


WATTERS: I guess they can't find them. 

GUTFELD: And tomorrow, Saturday, October 9, I will be live in Memphis, Tennessee at the soundstage at Graceland. I think there's like 10 tickets left. 

SMITH: That's awesome. 

GUTFELD: You know what we need? This. 


GUTFELD: Animals are great. Animals are great. Animals are great. 


GUTFELD: You know why? I don't know. And you know what? There's a little pumpkin thing at the Oregon Zoo because animals are gorgeous. Do you see what I did? Because pumpkins are a gourd. That was a -- I believe that was a beaver. Here's an elephant. I think we're going to see a red panda. Red pandas are very interesting. 

WATTERS: It looks good. 

GUTFELD: Aren't they great? And then of course, the greatest of all time, a goat. See what I did there? And of course my favorite, the bear? Yes. And the porcupine. Where's the porcupine? Show us the porcupine? Look at that. Oh, he's so adorable. Why is he so prickly? Oh, tortoise. I want to tortoise. There he is. He's pissed off. He wants to play with it. And then last but not least, the cutest animals on earth, sea otters. 


GUTFELD: Look at this. He can't get -- you can look at him forever, sea otters. 

WATTERS: Yes, they're pretty cute. 

GUTFELD: They're like dogs in the water. 

SMITH: Very cute. 

KENNEDY: And monogamous. They mate for life. 

WATTERS: They do? 


SMITH: Thank you for sharing that. 

WATTERS: That's interest. How did you know that? 

KENNEDY: I have some little fact story in my -- 

WATTERS: Are you sure they don't sleep around, Kennedy? Are you sure? You don't know. Sandra? 

SMITH: Oh, my God. 

WATTERS: How does she know? 

GUTFELD: Hard-hitting -- hard-hitting question. 

FOWLER: She's the smartest person at the table. 

SMITH: Fox Nation -- Fox Nation will be hosting our third Annual Patriot Awards on November 17th, 8:00 p.m. Eastern at the Hard Rock live theater in Hollywood, Florida. The event water everyday men and women who have shown a steadfast dedication to our nation and their communities. 

You can meet your favorite Fox personalities at that event, Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, Judge Jeanine Pirro, Pete Hegseth, Dan Bongino. And more Tickets are on sale now. 

WATTERS: Oh, they brought out the big guns for the awards this year. 

GUTFELD: They didn't ask me or you. 

WATTERS: No, they didnŸ_Tt. I have to talk to someone about that. Not that I want to go. Richard? I've done it already. I launched it. 

FOWLER: The U.S. Mint is revealing its new design for the quarter. And the new design for the quarter will feature trailblazing women in American history. The next year, the first -- the first quarter will have poet Maya Angelou, Sally Ride, the first astronaut, as well as Anna May Wong, the first Hollywood actress who's a Chinese from a Chinese American descent. Kennedy. 

KENNEDY: Yes. The -- 

WATTERS: Kennedy? 

KENNEDY: The Seahawks fan got attacked by Big Bird. 

WATTERS: That was great. Let's go. Have a nice weekend, everybody. We'll see you back here on Monday. 

BRET BAIER, FOX NEWS CHANNEL ANCHOR: Good evening, I'm Bret Baier. 

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