'The Five' on 'major test' Biden is facing as multiple crises mount
Gas shortages, border surge and inflation rock the United States; reaction from 'The Five'
This is a rush transcript from "The Five," May 12, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST (on camera): Hello, everyone. I'm Greg Gutfeld along with Dana Perino, Juan Williams, Katie Pavlich and he's never met a mirror he didn't like, Jesse Watters. It's five o'clock in New York City, and this is THE FIVE.
Hey, president Biden, the 1970s called, they want their unmitigated disasters back. Yes, move over to me, Carter. President Biden is looking a lot like the one-term Democrat every passing day, gas lines getting longer, crisis rising, everywhere you look, chaos is expanding like one of Jen Psaki's binders and all under Biden's leadership. The president though has been reluctant to even talk about it.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: You guys are bad, I'm not supposed to be answering all these questions, I'm supposed to leave but I can't resist your questions.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD (on camera): Now here's a shocker. The GOP is blasting Biden for the multiplying crises.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNKNOWN: The way that they've handled any crisis in this country is just disastrous.
GOV. RON DESANTIS (R-FL): The Biden administration needs to take this seriously. This is important infrastructure for our country and it could impact our economy greatly if they don't respond.
UNKNOWN: It feels a little bit like the '70s in fact. You start to see gas lines.
REP. KEVIN MCCARTHY (R-CA), HOUSE MINORITY LEADER: The concern of what is happened where, incentivizing people not to work in America. We need to get people back to work, back to school, back to health and back to normal.
REP. STEVE SCALISE (R-LA): Where is the president's leadership on any of these crises?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD (on camera): No wonder the Democrats and the media are so obsessed with Liz Cheney. It sure be looking at the catastrophes they've created in just four short months. Of course, their idea of a Republican leader is one who agrees with them that Trump is a big, evil meanie. Yes, Liz, that's some vision you have for the party I'm popular with Democrats.
And yet, what happens when the evil Twitter leaves, you get inflation, Middle East unrest, joblessness, a relentless crime wave. Historians might call it a malaise. And so now you see the insidious trade-off from Morning Joe to Don Lemon, they never cared about the deeds, it was only Trump's hurtful words and they were happy to replace their sleepless nights with your actual material suffering.
Well, congrats, media, there are no more mean tweets to keep you up at night, just impending economic doom. Sleep tight, you selfish babies.
So, Dana, you know, if we're going back to the '70s, I wanted all, I want it all. I want to have Saturday morning cartoons back, I want shed carpeting, I want road trips and station wagons with a chain-smoking dad, I want all of that.
DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS CO-HOST: Yes, do you want the station wagon with the seat that face backwards?
GUTFELD: Yes, I love harassing the kids that were facing you when you get behind them on the freeway and you make faces at them and then they cry.
PERINO: And then there was that, remember all those energy subsidies, my parents took advantage of those, we had solar panels on the top of our house, we had a hot rock box downstairs for hot water. I mean, we were into it.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: And that you know, they say history repeats itself. Sometimes when it repeats itself it comes back with a vengeance. I noticed that one of the headlines in Bloomberg today was Biden's GOP opponent seized on rising prices and the slower than expected pace of hiring when the headline could have just as easily been experts proven right.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: That printing a bunch of money and throwing it from the rooftops to everybody willy-nilly will actually lead to inflation.
GUTFELD: Yes, that's true, that's true. I'm always -- I always get worried when leaders urge calm. You know? Jesse, if this were a time travel movie it would be called Joe and Kamala's awful adventure.
JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST: Very good.
GUTFELD: Thank you.
WATTERS: First, I don't know where you got the idea that I like looking in the mirror so much, I hate what I see in the mirror. I'm very insecure about that.
But first I just want to pre-but what Juan is going to say. I don't want to hear about approval ratings, Juan. The guy is a Democrat. He's in his honeymoon period. The corrupt media has his back. If he were a Republican with this portfolio of problems, he'd already be deemed an incompetent failure.
If you think about it this way, and I'm going to cover him objectively as I said I would, he was handed a recovering economy, a vaccine and a distribution plan that was humming along, a secure border, low gas prices and no inflation. And right now, the jobless rate just ticked up, we have a border mess, we have inflation back, high gas prices and the J&J pause destroyed vaccine confidence and the vaccination rates plummeted.
I'm not even talking about the rise in homicides or shootings, the concern over school re-openings. I'm not talking about the cost of living that's gone up, these are just domestic issues. Think about internationally, too. He unfroze the aid to the Palestinians gave him a quarter billion which they use on weapons to attack Israel.
We got hacked by Russians, they took down our pipeline. They restarted the Nord Stream pipeline and they kicked us out of the Black Sea. I'm not saying all of this is Joe's fault, I'm saying he had a hand and a lot of this and this isn't stuff, like, you know, your skin color, or what the weather is going to be like in 100 years. This is immediate stuff that affects families, schools, illegal immigration, crime and the cost of living.
And instead of addressing these things, he's denying them. There is no border crisis, there's no labor shortage, there is no fuel problems, he just denies it. He gets away with that but as the summer comes along it's going to get hot and all of these things are going to get exacerbated.
We elected a president to solve problems. Joe Biden is now creating problems. And it's ironic, Greg, you touch on this with the media, we've got Joe in the office because we didn't want any drama in the White House.
GUTFELD: Right.
WATTERS: Well there is no drama in the White House. the drama is outside of the White House. It's all over the country.
GUTFELD: Yes.
WATTERS: And if that's the trade-off, that's fine. That's what people want.
GUTFELD: Yes. Juan, do you care -- would you care to pre-but his rebuttal or rebut his prebuttal? I don't know how it works.
JUAN WILLIAMS, FOX NEWS CO-HOST & POLITICAL ANALYST: I'll keep it -- I do but I will keep his butt out of it, Greg. I think -- I am listening with a music with I can see that Republicans are having a desperate time going after this popular president.
I mean, let's start with, you know, gas lines, right? Because I live in Washington, D.C., so right here next door is Virginia, and there been gas lines today. And I see what's going on, I think everybody is talking about the fact that there was a Russian criminal syndicate that hacked into the Colonial Pipeline and that created this temporary problem.
Nobody blames Joe Biden, they blame the Russian criminal syndicate and know that according to the people who run the pipeline, this problem will be done shortly. And I mean, you think about inflation, right now you have higher costs on used cars, things like lumber. Why? Because the economy is taking off, it's heating up and some of the leftover problems from the pandemic are still with us and so there are going to be blips but they are going to be temporary blips.
And as far as foreign policy, Israel and the Arabs, my gosh, how many presidents have had to deal with flareups and hatred between Palestinians and the Israelis? I think that goes back to Eisenhower, doesn't it?
I think what's going on here, Greg, you touched on it. What's going on here is a big attempt by Republicans to distract from what's going on in their own ranks. Today they canceled Liz Cheney. And why did they cancel her? Because she told the truth about the big lie. You say, people don't like Trump.
No, people know about the big lie, they know about the insurrection and they know about the damage done to democracy and they want to have this kind of thing rooted out but the Republican Party is having trouble reconstituting itself. Instead, it's the only thing that seems to bring them together in coalition is cult-like like affection for Donald Trump.
GUTFELD: Well, I guess. You'll be happy to know that O.J. Simpson agrees with you, he came out in support of her as well. So, I think we're all in good company.
All right, Katie. You can respond to Juan or you can talk about the facts. Inflation is rising fastest -- the fastest pace in 12 years.
KATIE PAVLICH, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes.
GUTFELD: Gas prices are at a seven-year high and that was before the pipeline.
PAVLICH: Well, I don't know what everybody expected from a guy who campaigned from his basement. I mean, that's not leadership, what we are seeing now is not leadership on a day when there are multiple crises and multiple fires to put out, both domestically and on the floor in front, the national security front.
Joe Biden goes to the lectern and walks away and then says I'm going to get in trouble for answering your questions. He's the president of the United States. If there's any day when he should be answering questions it's today. And then when he's asked what Americans can expect about gas lines and the idea that there are multiple cities, major cities on the East Coast that are now out of gas as a result of an attack on the pipeline, he didn't have an answer for them.
He said, well, we need more education. That's not a solution to the problem that's happening right now. And all of this is a big test. The State Department is in -- is in Vienna negotiating with the Iranians to talk about getting back into a nuclear deal, giving them more money to do exactly what they are doing with Hamas against Israel. There is a lot of Americans who live in Israel. Israel is an ally of ours.
And if this is a Russian attack as the administration has said in one way or another, what is the response? Was this an act of war? How is America going to stand up and show strength at a time when they are testing this president on day 112 and you get, this is where we are. So, weakness is very clear and the White House is doing nothing to stand up for the strength of America at a time when everybody is watching.
GUTFELD: Yes. I don't think Hamas would have been this brazen if there was an orange monster in the White House. All right. Up ahead.
PAVLICH: Yes.
GUTFELD: More on Biden's economic disaster. Americans are now fighting over gas. Look at that. Holy Toledo.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WATTERS (on camera): It's about an economic disaster. First, there's panic at the pump after that cyber-attack, people are literally fighting over gas like the scene in North Carolina. In some states over half the gas stations don't have fuel and over 1,000 stations have run out across the country. But don't worry, Biden says people won't suffer for that much longer.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BIDEN: We have been in very, very close contact with Colonial Pipeline which is the one area we talked about, one of the reasons the gasoline prices are going up and I think you're going to hear some good news in the next 24 hours.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS (on camera): And then there is the new massive inflation numbers, prices spiked at the highest level since 2008. And we can't forget about the record 8.1 million job openings, businesses can't hire workers because Biden is paying them more to stay home.
Katie, it is interesting on a day like today the Democrats are more interested in talking about Republicans. Republicans are interested in talking about the American people and how to help the American people because life in America is getting a lot more expensive.
PAVLICH: Life in America is getting a lot more expensive. There is some news, Colonial Pipeline is now looking for a cybersecurity manager, so there's an opening, they either didn't have one or someone got fired.
PERINO: Yes.
PAVLICH: So hopefully they can get that under control soon.
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: Hopefully that job pays more than unemployment.
PERINO: Eight-point one point two.
PAVLICH: Hopefully it does. Yes, hopefully it does. But, yes. I mean, Republicans are focused on these issues that affect every day Americans and look, when people can't get basic necessities, gasoline being one of them, the threshold is about three days before things get -- start getting even worse.
And when it comes to these rural areas where they don't have things like a metro, for example, like in Washington, D.C., or in New York City not having gas means you can't drive to the grocery store to get food for your kids. It means that you can't get to work, right? And so, there are consequences to these things that happen and it seems like the administration doesn't have much of a plan to give details about what Americans can expect to get back to work.
I mean, you have Pete Buttigieg today, the guy who couldn't even fix potholes when he was the mayor of South Bend going out and saying he doesn't really have a timeline on the broader issue of the gas shortage. And so, that's where they are.
WATTERS: Juan, Greg mentioned it in the a-block, the gas prices have gone up $0.50 before this hack. So, what's -- what's Joe Biden's plan to reduce gas prices and to pay Russia back?
WILLIAMS: You know, I think it was about a year ago you could get a barrel of oil for nothing, Jesse, and the reason, and this is the context that's missing from what you've been saying, my gosh, the economy is going from zero to 60 right now because we are putting COVID behind us, thanks to more people getting vaccinations.
And as that happens, as this economy takes off, happy days are here again for Americans. And so, what you see is, you're going to see things like, my gosh, you can't rent a car all of a sudden because during the COVID thing the rent-a-car companies were pushing cares out. Well now they got to get them back because the same thing with the used car market. It's the same thing with lumber. There are going to be other blips.
But basically, happy days are here, Jesse. And you know, you talked about, you know, this is as if it's like bad news for Americans.
WATTERS: OK. Fine.
WILLIAMS: Americans know that what we have right now come through some very --
WATTERS: Yes.
WILLIAMS: -- difficult times and we should in fact be proud of ourselves for having survived, and now we are about to thrive and yet they're going to be blips but chicken littles, I won't say like who, but chicken littles are not helping this. All they do is like alarmist attacks on Biden. I mean, come on, stop being petty.
PAVLICH: There is no gas. There is no gas.
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: We had a hot economy under Trump and we didn't have hot gas prices. It happened only in three months, Juan
WILLIAMS: Is that -- is that Biden's problem?
GUTFELD: It is his problem, he's president.
WILLIAMS: OK.
WATTERS: I don't know. It's his problem now, Gutfeld.
WILLIAMS: Yes. And he's --
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: And when you're the president you own what's going on in the country.
GUTFELD: Yes.
WATTERS: And he hasn't said a word about Russia.
GUTFELD: The economy actually shouldn't be like this. It should be roaring back but actually it's not. Inflation is roaring back. You got a problem with unemployment. You voted out a businessman, fair enough and you elected a bureaucrat, fair enough, but a businessman has this weird skill of understanding incentives. Bureaucrats never had to understand incentives.
Dana brought this up before, just go talk to a small businessman. Today I talked to a restaurant-- restauranteur who owns five in New York City. He can't hire anyone because and he's got all these job openings but no one is taking them because they don't need to take them. So that in itself is an explanation.
Right now, you have people who have children minding the store. These are not -- these are not -- these are not smart economic minds. And I want to point out, this gas prices is a foreshadowing of what life might be like if the climate cult got their way.
If you didn't -- if you don't have affordable fuel and energy, this is the way it's going to be. It's going to be like this all the time and it's not like the Democrats mind that because remember, they want to reduce your consumption. That is why they really don't care about the gas lines. They don't give a damn because to them that's better for the planet. Reduce consumption as they get on the private jet.
WATTERS: Yes, Dana, you are going to see gas prices go to $3.50 a gallon this summer as people start driving again. If the Democrat talking point is this is just a blip and happy days are here again, do you think that's going to fly in July?
PERINO: Probably not, and I also think that it's very interesting, Greg, you bring up like the left and what they want. But isn't it interesting how they are actually being very, very quiet right now because they realize that Biden is on the ropes on this so they are not pressing him to say, well, this is great because we can just all like get a solar job?
GUTFELD: Right.
PERINO: And you know, power our car with compost or something like that. Energy is just so critically important. And think about this. So, let's say it is a Russian-backed criminal syndicate, look how easy it is to get Americans to start fighting each other.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: It doesn't take much.
PAVLICH: Yes.
PERINO: And also, you had Secretary Granholm, the Department of Energy secretary saying that pipe is the best way to get fuel from one place to the other. And I could just see those ads right themselves for, in the first six hours, President Biden canceled the Keystone pipeline. Now this pipeline is the most important way to get gas from one place to the next?
The Democrats can say that happy days are here again and they will, but the Republicans are going to put up a fight and they are going to make their case and the administration continues to give them a lot of material.
WATTERS: That's for sure. All right, everybody. Up next, team Biden can't stop lying about the border. Staggering new numbers prove just how wrong they are.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PERINO (on camera): There is a crisis at the southern border, but the Biden administration keeps saying this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JEN PSAKI, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: We have continued to convey the message that our border is not open.
BIDEN: We've now got control.
UNKNOWN: The border is closed.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO (on camera): Record new numbers from border patrol contradict those claims, 178,000 migrants, worse up last month, that's the highest number in two decades and 17,000 unaccompanied minors were detained which is a slight decrease from March.
Greg, the administration has tried all sorts of things in terms of the language to try to say, you know, this is what you're really seeing. But I think when you see the videos and you talk to the actual people, I tend to think that that carries more weight, what do you think?
GUTFELD: I agree with you completely and this is a lot like what we said in the earlier block which is, there's -- when the -- you can't solve a problem if the other side doesn't see it as a problem. They will give it -- they'll give it lip service but they -- it's just like the gas lines, that means reduce consumption.
In this case it's like, we don't have much of a border, that's not so bad. But when you're talking about the video, like the videos that we shared and other people say, videos of abandoned children in the mountains, and they say well, that's clearly out of context.
I want to know what kind of context would make that video better, were they on a kid's version of outward bound, were they part of a nature hike that we weren't aware of? I don't think there's a context that makes these videos better. And then finally, where is executive action Joe? He can stop all of this right now but he's too scared of his far-left flank. He could beef up the border, he could reverse the reversal of policies and old Joe would do that but woke Joe can't do that.
PERINO: Katie, do you see or hear of any sort of urgency on behalf of anyone in the administration?
PAVLICH: No, I don't. I think they think this is an acceptable problem. You had Joe Biden saying on the campaign trail that the country can absorb two or three million new people, that Kamala Harris giving into this abolish ICE movement rhetoric, saying that they need to rethink how that agency operates and you're seeing that happen right now.
And it's one thing to see all of these families and children turning themselves into border patrol. But what happens when you have thousands of people a day down in New Mexico and Arizona who are paying smugglers to get them into the country without being detected.
Those are the people you really have to worry about and when it comes to how this impacts Americans, you know, you have a lot of people getting flown to small towns overwhelming resources. You have Democratic mayors even saying, look, we can't handle this influx of people. And Americans are trying to get back to work with everything that's been going on and illegal labor depresses wages for American workers.
And so, there are consequences to this but there's no urgency from the administration at all when it comes to solving this problem and I don't think they see it as a real problem.
PERINO: There are people, Juan, like Andrew Sullivan, for example, who are trying to get the administration to sort of rise to the occasion here. In your opinion, Juan, is the administration doing all it's -- all that it can?
WILLIAMS: Yes. I don't know. I mean, I'm really puzzled because I, you know, I just trust in your goodwill. But I don't -- there is a problem at the border. Let's all agree at that. And then you have an administration that's trying to take steps to deal with a surge. And right now, all the numbers indicate they're making progress.
You know, we talk about the arrest at the borders. Well, that's evidence that we have law enforcement protecting and keeping the border closed. We saw most of those people who are arrested turned back. They were not allowed in the United States. You look at the number of not only children, but teenagers, migrant families, all three decreased numbers over the last month.
PAVLICH: What?
WILLIAMS: What are you seeing in terms of even -- you know, all of this, it seems to me is an indication of when we even allow the children to stay because of our values as Americans. We're not going to do harm to children. We're not going to go back to separating children from their parents. Those were who were being held by Customs and Border Patrol now at a new low, and we are processing those people more quickly.
PERINO: OK.
WILLIAMS: That's all progress. I just think that when you think in those terms, you say, yes, go America go. And now, we need to get Congress to go. Congress, go get involved. Let's fix the immigration system in this country.
PERINO: Jesse, there are -- I would imagine, given that so many unaccompanied minors have come across the border and been abandoned by their parents, that there are more families separated now than before.
WATTERS: That's true. Everything Juan said his spin. What he told the audience has any truth to it. It's all just trying to obfuscate the facts. And here are the facts in the context. We have now two straight months of 20-year highs. We're near 180,000 border crossers a month, two months in a row of that.
Juan likes to think that that's progress. That's not progress. Imagine how many you're getting through. They're not expelling, Juan. Of the 178,000 that we caught, 70,000 of them Biden led into the country, 70,000 of them. That's like 40 percent of the ones we're catching we're letting in. And think about all the other ones that are going around.
What you're saying about unaccompanied minors is also not true. We've had two months in a row of all-time highs 18,000 and then 17,000. You're calling that progress? That's like saying that Nationals got blown out by 18 runs and then the next day got blown out by 17 runs. That's not progress. Those are all-time defeats and those are record-setting defeats.
This is easily solved if he just says we will not allow unaccompanied minors in and fly them back or just remain in Mexico. He can do it right like that, but he's choosing not to.
PERINO: I love the sports analogy --
WILLIAMS: Conversation to be continued.
PERINO: Yes, I'm sure we will. OK, our smartphone addiction, it is hitting a ridiculous new point. How bad it is? We will tell you next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WILLIAMS: Our tech addiction is getting worse. A new study says all that staring at smartphones has turned us into "human snails who ignore friends and family, and that people go home and disappear in theater devices instead of interacting with others in social settings. The researchers warn it's leading to the end of face-to-face interaction.
So, Katie, what happens at dinner in your home? Are people allowed to be on the cell phone?
PAVLICH: It depends on what kind of dinner. If it's a casual dinner and we're still working, then you still got to have your phone. But if it's a Friday night dinner or there are people over, then we'd like to put the phones away.
But everything in moderation, right? I think if you live away from your family, that your cell phone can be a great way to communicate with them, to send them photos to keep in touch. So, while some people may be addicted, I think it's also for good use.
WILLIAMS: Well, Jesse, I was worried about this story because I thought you know, I remember in previous generations, people would complain about kids with boom boxes or Sony Walkman going down the street. And I think you know, are we just now upset that people are walking down the street on their cell phones? What do you think?
WATTERS: Well, I think a long, long time ago you used to sit around your house and you'd have to interact with your family who you hated. And then they invented the television, so they put on a TV show and everyone gets around the television, and that was OK for a while. But no one liked the same thing on TV. So you had to buy a lot of TVs for the house and everybody goes into their own room.
And then your mother comes upstairs and she finds out you're watching Road Rules, Real World Challenge while your grandmother's visiting from Connecticut and she's appalled. And she says turn that off and come downstairs and talk to your grandmother.
Now, you can be on your phone and you're -- no one has any idea what you're looking at. Looking on your phone can be important. It could be work. It could be an emergency. It can be important communication. But you can't see what someone's doing on their phone, so you don't and you interact and say get off the phone. And that's the problem. Everybody can just go like this and look important.
WILLIAMS: Well, Dana, this --
PERINO: He's mastered that.
WILLIAMS: Yes. This is old fogies complaint is less about the dinner table because I don't see that too much around here, but I think people walking down the street looking at their cell phones, they walk right into traffic. They don't pay attention to traffic lights or other pedestrians, much less cars. I just think it's crazy.
PERINO: Where -- what street are you walking around? You're not even -- in New York, people who are up here -- I mean, but also my -- I talked to my family more because of my phone. I am definitely way more in touch with -- including my aunt Patty Sue in Rawlins, Wyoming. You got to check in with APS every day.
I'm more concerned about the kids on the electric scooters that almost ran me over on my way to work today. They're on the sidewalk. You should not be on the sidewalk on those things. And when I say kid, I mean grown man in a suit.
WILLIAMS: A grown man in a suit. Wow. All right, so Greg, but I think the other side of this is some people would say that these devices, these cell phones and iPads, they help with loneliness, and that you know, people connect. They create social groups and communities, sometimes conspiracies are in there, but do you think it helps with loneliness? Are we approaching this from the wrong direction?
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Well, I think -- I mean, I think we're involved in the world's largest scientific experiment. This is -- everybody's been given a device that has never existed before. And all the device does is meet every momentary need for interaction and there are benefits in their costs.
The benefit is because you've cut out a lot of the legwork for the things that you need, whether it's research or going to a supermarket, you, therefore, have more time to spend with your loved ones. But the cost is you don't spend your -- that time with your loved one, you just spend more time on the phone, so it's this recursive thing.
The more time you save the more glued you are to the phone So, what you're seeing is you know, the phone has become in itself an implant. We talked about chip implants. But the phone is -- it's tethered to your body. It's in your head. It's part of you. It may not be in your brain, it doesn't need to be, but it can't be taken from you anymore. We are stuck with it. The tech giants can get us to do anything now.
WILLIAMS: Yes, oh, boy. Anyway, "THE FASTEST," it's up next right here for you on THE FIVE.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PAVLICH: Welcome back. It's time for THE FASTEST. First up, Prego pasta sauce has been trending on social media for all the wrong reasons.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This is the easiest way to make spaghetti for a crowd. And it's fun. It's all just right in front of you. You don't have to worry about dishes or a mess or anything like that. Just go in a straight line, and you just dump it.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: How delicious is that?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It looks so good.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This is like everything you need.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This is everything you need.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PAVLICH: All right, Dana, I have a confession to make. So I went on a river trip in the Grand Canyon when I was in high school, and they dumped a whole pile of pasta on a tarp at one of the stops and everyone just dug in with a fork and went for it.
PERINO: I got to say, I don't know what's wrong with this. I think this is smart. And he didn't have to do any additional dishes. And it looks pretty good to me. I mean, I might give that a shot.
GUTFELD: Says the Queso Lady.
PERINO: Yes, exactly.
PAVLICH: The Queso Lady speaks. Greg, what do you think about this? Is this sanitary enough?
GUTFELD: You know who eats like this? The culinary specialists known as drunks. This is a drunk person cooking. By the way, the best part about this video is the witness. The person who's filming is going, yes, wow. It's like, you are indulging an insane person. This person is either a genius and brilliant because she's getting millions of hits, or she's clinically insane. And I'm a doctor.
PAVLICH: Well, I'm wondering where the serving ware is. You are a doctor.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PAVLICH: Jesse, where's the serve ware? Like, do people just use their hands here or is there a spatula involved somehow? Do you use -- like, cut this like pizza and put it on a plate? What -- how do you eat this? You're the food corner guy.
WATTERS: This is just the whitest thing I've ever seen, Josh and Lisa on Facebook. I mean, I'm sorry I just want to -- I want to denounce this. This is not good. This is bad and we apologize.
PAVLICH: Juan, what do you think about this?
WILLIAMS: You know, this is not the way they do it the old country, Katie. This is just -- this is just wrong. I mean --
WATTERS: This is wrong.
WILLIAMS: You know how I know this --
WATTERS: Juan and I agree.
WILLIAMS: You know how I know this is wrong? I know this is wrong because, Katie, I can't cook, but I can cook spaghetti and the sauce and put them together and eat it. And this looks like -- this looks like slop. No, no thanks.
PAVLICH: It does look like slop.
PERINO: I thought it looks good.
PAVLICH: All right, up next -- I think it looks pretty good depending on how you eat it. All right, up next, booze brings people closer together literally. Researchers find that drinking and social settings helps to decrease the physical distance between pairs by at least one centimeter every few minutes.
Greg, (INAUDIBLE)
PERINO: Oh, God, don't tell Bill de Blasio. Don't tell Bill de Blasio. He's going to make us have social distancing again.
PAVLICH: No drinking, Greg. What do you think?
GUTFELD: Well, look, if it wasn't for booze, some of the dumbest and greatest decisions ever made would never have been made. Like, a few drinks got you to ask your future wife, you know for her phone number, but a few drinks also had you wake up with a stripper who wasn't your wife.
So, it has -- it cuts -- it cuts both ways and humans have like a threshold of embarrassment and alcohol removes that threshold. So, it allows you to take more risks, some are great, some are not so great, Jesse.
PAVLICH: Jesse, out of all of your reporting on spring break, did you find this to be the case?
WATTERS: Well, I will tell Greg this. When you sleep with a stripper, the stripper does not stay the night. She leaves before you get up. You get up and she's gone.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: Oh, no. Let me hold your hand, Jesse.
GUTFELD: You're so sexist. I don't use pronouns.
WATTERS: What was the question? Yes, this study is ridiculous. It's a waste of money. You know, I had --
PAVLICH: I think you need Dana to squeeze your hand.
WATTERS: Yes. I need a drink first.
PAVLICH: This study is ridiculous. Yes, Juan, what do you think?
WILLIAMS: Well, you know, look, I think there's history here. I mean, alcohol has always been a social lubricant for people. And I think part of it -- I remember college days, people would say hey, you know, I'm going to get a shot of courage before I go talk to that girl. And I mean shot of courage was, you know, a shot of tequila or something. OK.
But you know there's a great danger in there, I think. I just think it unleashes a lot attitudes that maybe aren't good and I just can't recommend it. I don't think it's a good move.
PAVLICH: All right, "ONE MORE THING" up next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)'
GUTFELD: All right, time for "ONE MORE THING." I'll go first.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Greg's sports corner.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: You heard that whistle, right? Only humans can be refs. But will that remain in the future as we get more involved in -- what am I saying? Let's look at this dog who wants to be a ref.
I love this dog. Oh my God. Oh, my God. He's the greatest. That, Jesse, is a Dachshund, I believe.
WATTERS: Oh, I was going to say Wiener dog.
GUTFELD: It's not a Dachshund?
PERINO: Yes.
GUTFELD: I don't know. Who cares?
WATTERS: Isn't that the same thing?
GUTFELD: Jesse, you just like to say Wiener. You're disgusting. All right, Juan.
WATTERS: That's like Netherland in Holland.
GUTFELD: Yes. You're up, Juan.
WILLIAMS: That sound -- it sounded -- it remind me of that shower scene in psycho, that shrieking sound.
GUTFELD: It's true.
WILLIAMS: Anyway, time for tonight's weather report, folks. And it comes straight from a carnival funhouse mirror. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It's the current temperature right now in Winona. Oh, that's funky. Here's one Jennifer, or two Jennifers.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: Oh my, God.
WILLIAMS: That's Jennifer McDermed, a Fox meteorologist in Minnesota. As you can see, her weather graphic technology went crazy. The weather report included a blizzard of Jennifers. She laughed along. And she also said she can only handle one of herself but her doppelgangers gave her a headache. You know what? It was fun to watch. Way to go, Jennifer.
GUTFELD: Oh man, that reminds me of a weekend in Coachella. It's 18 of everything, Dana. All right, Dana.
PERINO: All right, I have Dana sports corner but I forgot the (INAUDIBLE). Anyone remember the New York Rangers, Sean Avery? Well, I didn't know him then, but I know him now. I did his podcast. It's called No Gruffs Given. And I've said -- I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into. We had a blast. It's so much fun talking to him.
We talked about Everything Will Be Okay and my connection to hockey and how I got my first job on Capitol Hill, so it was fun. Also in the spirit of hockey, check out this guy's cool trick. I have no idea how he does it. There we go. Spin the stick. There you go, and nothing but net right here.
GUTFELD: Wow.
PERINO: There you go.
GUTFELD: Amazing.
PERINO: Amazing.
GUTFELD: All right, then -- all right, Katie.
PAVLICH: Nice. Speaking of cold sports, so there's these two guys in the U.K. who are obsessed with chess and they challenge each other to play under harsh conditions. So, they decided to go to a freezing lake in the U.K. and play chess together. Their names are Jamie Kamas and Thomas Michael Levy.
And they were inspired by Queens Gambit on Netflix to play chess in freezing cold conditions. So, they film themselves at this lake. And it was not just a battle of wits and chess skills but also endurance in a freezing lake. So, Jamie actually won but good effort to Thomas.
PERINO: Wow, cold.
PAVLICH: Crazy kids from the U.K.
GUTFELD: He kind of noticed that a lot of those chess pieces were getting a lot smaller.
PERINO: It's shrinking.
GUTFELD: Yes. Jesse? That's filthy, Dana. I wasn't talking about that.
PERINO: What?
WATTERS: That will turn a king into a pawn.
GUTFELD: It's filthy. Get your mind out of the gutter.
PERINO: Hold my hand.
PAVLICH: It is -- it is hump day today.
WATTERS: Where's my rook? All right, it's also National School Nurse Day. So, as a way to thank all the school nurses out there for taking care of everybody, why don't you go pre order them How I Save the World? Because that's what's school nurses want.
Also, Friday is National Decency Day. And when people think Jesse Watters, they think decency. So, also get anybody, a neighbor, my book for National Decency Day. Saturday's the Preakness, so instead of losing your money on a longshot, I'm not sure thing, go to Amazon or anywhere where books are sold and get How I Save the World.
Dana gave me this idea when she sold books off a graduation. So, thanks, Dana.
PERINO: Well, my book is for -- has graduation advice.
GUTFELD: It's very -- all right --
WATTERS: Listen, there's a lot of stuff about gambling in my book too.
PERINO: Off the rails.
GUTFELD: That's it for us.
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