Some Free Advice for the White House

Not that the White House is asking for health care reform advice from me, but here's a freebie: Quit pulling this Abbot and Costello "who's on first" routine.

You criticize those who say your plan stinks by telling them: That's impossible, because you have no plan.

Fair enough. Then you go on and insist health care won't be rationed. But again, how would you know? You have no measure to prove it will or won't, because like you said, you don't have a plan!

You swear on a stack of bibles this death panel stuff is nonsense, but I'm sensing you wouldn't even know, since someone told me — oh, that was you — you don't have a plan! On panels, bibles, or anything. So there's really no way in hell you could know, because again, you don't have a plan!

Then you tell those out-of-control town hallers they've really got to calm down because your plan won't hurt the elderly. But wait a minute, you just calmly said you don't have a plan!

And you call them crazy? Mr. President, does this ring a bell?


WILLIAM "BUD" ABBOT: Who was on first.

LOU COSTELLO: Well what are you asking me for?!

ABBOT: I'm not asking you I'm telling you. Who was on first!

COSTELLO: I'm asking you who's on first?!

ABBOT: That's the man's name!

COSTELLO: That's who's name?

ABBOT: Yeah.

COSTELLO: Well go ahead and tell me.


COSTELLO: The guy on first.


COSTELLO: The first baseman.

ABBOT: Who is on first!

COSTELLO: Have you got a first baseman on first?

ABBOT: Certainly!

COSTELLO: Then who's playing first?

ABBOT: Absolutely!


All I'm saying, Mr. President, is if you don't have a plan and insist you haven't taken sides on any one of Congress' four plans, then maybe you should plan on no more pressers attacking critics of a plan you don't have.

Unless you have a different plan.

And lo and behold, I'm now hearing you do — that you plan to take the proverbial health care reform bull or bill or whatever by the horns. You're coming up with a plan — actually a "sense" of a plan, but it's a start — apparently built around some of your core beliefs which, I'm told, might not include a public option. Word is it's not make-or-break for you, even if it makes liberals break with you.

It's a start.

Abbot would be proud. Lou would still be confused.

Plan on it.

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