This is a rush transcript from "The Five," May 14, 2020. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
NEIL CAVUTO, FOX NEWS ANCHOR: But bit by bit beginning today after Memorial Day, the human beings return to help with the computers. There is that. Here comes The Five.
DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST: Hello, everyone. I am Dana Perino, along with Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, Greg Gutfeld, and Emily Compagno. It is 5:00 in New York City, and this is The Five. The fight over when to reopen the economy playing out in states across the country, tensions high in Michigan again today, protesters gathering at the state capitol to rally against stay-at-home orders. Governor Gretchen Whitmer defending her decision to keep the state mostly shut down.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GOV. GRETCHEN WHITMER (D-MI): The fact of the matter is, every decision that I've made has been on the right side of the Constitution and always centered by epidemiology facts, and science, and to save lives.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: In Wisconsin, the Supreme Court there, overwriting lockdown order saying that the state's Democratic governor overstepped his authority. Hours after the ruling, residents flocking to bars, Governor Tony Evers arguing the move is creating chaos. And President Trump visiting a medical equipment factory in the battleground state of Pennsylvania, he has been pressuring the Democratic governor to reopen more quickly than planned. The president also saying schools across the country should reopen in the fall.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Anthony is a good person, very good person. I have disagreed with him. When I close the border to China, he disagreed with that, and then ultimately he agreed. I think that we have to open our schools. Young people are very little affected by this. We have to get the schools open. We have to get our country open. We have to open our country. Now, we want to do it safely, but we also want to do it as quickly as possible.
We can't keep going on like this. You've got to have -- you're having bedlam already in the streets. You can't do this. We have to get it open. I totally disagree with him on schools.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Emily, there's so many big decisions to be made across the country and all these states, the governors, localities, school districts, principals, teachers, parents, everyone's trying to make good decisions here. Where do you see things today as you start to see some openings -- and places like Florida and Georgia, for example, ridiculed before for opening up in the limited fashion that they did. But their numbers have stayed -- continuing to go down a little bit.
EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS HOST: Right. I would love to use actually California as a case study because that's where I'm from. And the governor there has been operating, in my mind, under a short-term crisis psychology. And we are ultimately going to catch up to the long-term fundamentals that we are seeing unravel. So that is debt, civic decay, and literally an absolute annihilation of entire industries in our economy that aren't going to be able to bounce back the second that he flips the switch or yells green light.
So in that state, that's 58 counties, 70 of which have had zero COVID deaths, another 10 -- excuse, 10 -- 14 of which have had zero COVID deaths, and 10 of which have seen less than five. And yet, only seven are allowed to be in phase two right now. And the governor there, he says, well, we are using data. This is a data-backed decision to have the state be mostly closed. But my argument is that we are out of the triage element.
So we need to assess all of the data, including data points like 36 million America's being unemployed, 40 percent of $40,000 a year households are unemployed right now. And those data points also include the fact that our economy is made up of all of these interdependent industries, right? They depend on each other. And it's a rolling shock that we are seeing. So that's why retail and hospitality we saw first.
And it's growing to manufacturing and agriculture and healthcare. That's why in the state I'm sitting right now, there are hospitals that have laid- off employees. And you mentioned schools. CSU, as we know in California, right there. They're closed through the fall semester. Just a quick reminder to viewers that 80 percent of their recent tuition hikes are because of pensions, it's to cover pensions.
So when we talk about everything being related, we have to keep in mind debt and obligations, and the fact that all of those things, those ratios, are mind-blowing. And they will ultimately lead to a collapse. That is what we are seeing right now, is the collapse.
PERINO: And Greg, when we talked about flattening the curve and everybody responded, like, OK, we understand, flattening the curve. We don't want hospitals to be overwhelmed. But now, we have a different curve that we need to flatten, and that is the one of the unemployment numbers.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Yes. We have to decide how far is too far before it's too late. I think the protests are distinctly American, and that it's about freedom and autonomy and individualism. At the same time, it can be a little sloppy. And I think that you hand your opponent or the people who disagree with you a weapon to beat you with if you don't incorporate the pandemic protocols into your protests.
You can win this debate by doing that, by registering your protests with a mask and using distance. Having said that, though, what is striking about all of this is it really is the first time that we are facing something like this in our lifetimes. So it's causing a lot of people to think about certain things for the first time, like, what's important in their lives.
PERINO: Yes.
GUTFELD: How important their family is to them. What kind of risks would you take for your job? And who can you trust out there to give you the information correctly? So I think that we all need to seriously cut some slack to a country of people who might be a lot right, might be a little right, might be a little wrong, might be a lot wrong about this.
Because every damn person, every damn expert, everybody in the media has been wrong, too, including Governor Whitmer, who is extremely arrogant in saying that she was right all along. But too much -- I don't want to get into that. But you cannot blame -- what I'm saying is you cannot blame a guy for saying, hey, you told me masks didn't work. Ventilators would solve everything. Banning travel was racist.
And now, you're telling me that I can't open my lawn business. Screw you. You no longer have credibility in this thing at all. The good news is there are 50 states, 49 beyond Governor Whitmer's. That means there are 50 experiments going on side-by-side. Therefore, we can see data in real time that we'd never seen before. All the data is pretty unreliable here.
So that's how you learn about Florida and you learn about Georgia and you learn about New York. The final question is how does the media frame 50 different events? Will you cover the good stuff if it happens in a blue state? Will you cover the bad stuff because it happens in a red state? Will you pick and choose state failures and successes to embolden your narrative?
We know already happened with Florida early on and also with New York early on. New York was hailed as a success and Florida was hailed as a failure. And then we have seen that this is reversed, because the media -- the media is going to have a hell of a time doing this, because there's going to be 50 stories going on, more than 50 stories, 50 experiments, with 50 experiments in each one. They are going to lose their stuff.
PERINO: They are going to be like a raccoon in a room full of disco balls. Don't know where to look.
GUFELD: That reminds me of my teenage years.
PERINO: Juan, it does seem that people are realizing, even though they might have understood this before. So we flattened the curve. We are going to have to figure out how to live with this virus while we wait for a vaccine and wait for treatments. Because that realization, it seems like it's not only donning on citizens but also on local officials. What do you think?
JUAN WILLIAMS, FOX NEWS HOST: Yes, I think everybody wants to reopen. I mean, the question is how we go about it. And the Wisconsin court had one opinion that said that the governor there acted beyond authority. But Dana, today, we heard another point of view from Dr. Rick Bright, the former head of biomedical research for the government.
And what he said is unless we maintain precautions. We are going to see more death. And of course, that was echoed by what we heard from Dr. Fauci yesterday, that there will be more death, more suffering, unless we act reasonably and sensibly. And what you get from Dr. Bright, in fact today, I thought that was pretty shocking.
He said unless we take the necessary precautions right now, we are in for the darkest winter, next winter, in modern times. So clearly, there's more on the horizon. But I think some people are behaving like, you know, the worst has passed. And I think we have to keep in mind what we are hearing from people who study this for a living, people who are not new to this.
But, you know, both in the case of Dr. Fauci and Dr. Bright, people who have dealt with Ebola, AIDS, SARS, previously. So I also just want to say keep in mind that the polling in Wisconsin and the polling in Michigan. So in Wisconsin with Tony Evers and in Michigan with Gretchen Whitmer, most of their citizens, like 60 percent plus, support the governors in terms of limited, you know, slow opening.
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: And they are going along with the White House guidelines. So why is the White House -- why is the president --
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: We have to get Jesse in here, Juan. Jesse Watters, I should give you the floor. I do think that people are being quite responsible. You might have people on the fringes, but people are trying to figure this out in a responsible way. You can trust Americans to do that.
GUFELD: Right, sorry.
JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST: Yes. I will be quick because I know we went a little long there. But I'll just say this. The American people allowed the government to lock us down. It was the consent of the governed. You know, we said that, you know, we're going to let you sit in our house. We're not going to go to work. We're going to have you close our private business.
But at the end the day, we are not peasants. We are not going to sit here forever during a lingering lockdown. And you're already starting to see little tea party movement's sprout up all across the country. And those are big powerful waves. You remember the tea party last time. They had a lot of impact in the election.
And if you say that schools aren't going to open in the fall, you're going to have a million-mom-march. And they're going to change that policy real quick. Moms or dads, I don't want to be politically correct, but this country can only take so much, and we are there.
PERINO: We are there. All right, we're going to move on, President Trump accusing Democrats of wanting to keep the country shutdown to stop him from getting re-elected. We will show you next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WILLIAMS: The Coronavirus continues to pummel the American economy. Nearly three million workers applied for unemployment benefits last week. That brings the total out of work to 36 million since the pandemic struck. President Trump says his critics want to keep the economy closed to hurt him and his re-election chances in November. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: Well, I think it's a political thing in addition.
(CROSSTALK)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Because they're saying you're putting money, business ahead of lives.
TRUMP: No, no. I think the people that want to see the right thing happen, they agree with me. We have to get our country open. You know, if it was up to some people, let's keep it closed for a long time, OK, a long time. And watch the United States go down the tubes. Not going to happen.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: Greg, the president says everybody -- he thinks there are people who want to hurt him politically. I was thinking I wonder who he's talking about, because former Vice President Biden says he wants the country to reopen but safely. So who do you think the president is talking about? Who is saying this?
GUFELD: You know, I think Biden is brilliant, because nobody wants to open it safely but him. I mean -- nobody. Trump really doesn't want to open it safely. He wants everybody to die, because that's the narrative, even though he actually shut down the strongest economy in history. But now, he just wants people to die. You know what's great about Biden?
He is the one who's actually using this pandemic politically. I mean, literally politically, because he's using it so that he can hide. You know what? He's using the event to justify himself from staying out of sight in order to reduce his embarrassing gaffes. The upside for the Democrats that Joe Biden is your nominee is you can literally get in on the ground floor, isn't that great?
By the way, Trump can say -- thank you for the laughter, Emily. Turnabout is fair play. I heard that in a game show. So all yesterday, Republicans were accused of using the Russian hopes and playing politics by people who make their living playing politics. And in case you missed it, everybody plays politics since the 1960s when the hard left decided that the political was personal.
And that infected entertainment, sports, relationships. So I think we are past that point. That's it.
WILLIAMS: OK. So Jesse, let's look from at it from other side. You hear Democrats saying, well, the president wants to get the economy going. So he is not paying attention to the medical experts, but in a hurry to get the economy open. But then the president says anybody who is not in a hurry is actually trying to hurt his re-election chances. What do you say?
WATTERS: Well, I think before this pandemic hit, he was going to frame this election as capitalism versus socialism. And that went out the window. And now, it's going to be framed as freedom versus lockdown. And for some reason, the Democrats just fell into this trap. Now, I know it's not their fault. A lot of the pandemic hit the blue states.
But all of the people on their side and the media and in Washington are still scaring people to stay inside. While we had our peak with this pandemic, April 21st, that was the deadliest day. That was three weeks ago. So they either want to hurt the president politically. They themselves are scared to go outside. They think every state is New York, which it's not.
Or they are just not looking at the new data that has come in and doing things county by county, like every smart person would do. Or they just don't understand the wreckage that's going to happen if you linger this lockdown. And so you have these three major states. You have Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and Michigan. So those are the states Trump won in 2016, and now they are governed by Democrats.
So these three Democratic governors, they are getting protested. Their massive shutdown orders, all hell is breaking loose. Trump has now tapped into this rebellious American attitude that says we are not going to take it anymore in the three states that are critical to re-election. And he is now on the people's side. And all he has to do now is just ride this wave of freedom into November against these moms grounding their citizens.
So, you know, I know Democrats love to, you know, smother small business. I know they are anti-capitalists. I know they hate freedom. But if they could resist those natural urges and just let the American people work, I think we can all be happy again.
WILLIAMS: Dana, the other big news today was those unemployment numbers, people filing unemployment claims. And yesterday, you and I were talking about Jerome Powell, the FED chief, saying it looks like the economy is in for a very rough time. And he was advocating for more federal stimulus spending. What do you think right now?
The Democrats have a plan but the Republicans, as you heard the president say yesterday, it's dead on arrival. What are you hearing about Republican plans for a possible next step from Congress?
PERINO: Well, we don't really have time to go over all of the things that are in the Democrats' bill that they are going to vote on tomorrow. The president said it's dead on arrival and it should be. I think that they're going to take a look and see what's going to happen. On the governor's thing, I just don't think it's in anyone's political interest, whether Republican or Democrat, to have the economy down.
Everybody does better when the economy does well. And I think that they're public servants that want that as well. I would point out Governor Polis of Colorado had a great meeting with President Trump yesterday, progressive Democrat. He goes on CNN last night and he gets criticized for actually reopening his state that is data-driven.
So in a way, I do think that this is kind of a media split, much more so than the government -- governors being split.
WILLIAMS: I saw a surprise poll yesterday, Emily. It said that, you know, saying most Americans support phased reopening that the White House has advocated. But I was really surprised to see that people who are unemployment, people even who are -- who had been fired in the midst of all this terrible economic news.
They also support, you know, a steady phased reopening. I thought they would be saying, no, reopen right away. What do you make of that?
COMPAGNO: Wow. Well, I think people -- a real human is not approaching this as the team black or white that the media is making it out to be, to Dana's point. So taking that Wisconsin Supreme Court case as a case study that was an overreach of power issue that if a governor extends the stay-at-home order, it needs legislator -- legislation approval.
And yet, the media has said Republicans want the economy back up and running. And the Democratic governor is listening to the CDC. I am an attorney. If you guys came to me -- with me wearing my attorney hat and said Emily, how do I commit this crime? I would tell you not to do it. But if I was talking to you just as a friend, I would tell you how to do it and not get away with it.
So of course, the CDC is going to operate in that avenue. And most of us humans, to get to your point, Juan, support a holistic assessment of the problem solving issue, which now is beyond triage, and so should include all of these data points including the economy.
WILLIAMS: That makes sense to me. Coming up next, President Trump demands that former President Barack Obama testify after the release of the Flynn un-masking document. That's coming straight ahead for you on The Five.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WATTERS: President Trump unloading on Obama administration officials after newly declassified documents identified them in the un-masking of Michael Flynn, the big name on the list, Sleepy Joe Biden. His campaign is denying any wrongdoing, but Trump says they all got caught.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: It was the greatest political crime in the history of our country. If I were a Democrat instead of a Republican, I think everybody would have been in jail a long time ago. And I am talking with 50-year sentences. It is a disgrace what's happened. This is the greatest political scam, hoax in the history of our country.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: So Trump also saying he wants Barack Obama himself to testify. All right, well, I don't think that's going to happen because that's not how we do things in this country. But Juan, don't you think people like Clapper and Powers and Rice should come in and answer the question. If you guys knew there was no evidence of collusion because you said it under oath, why were you out there on national TV telling the American people for years there was collusion?
WILLIAMS: Well, I don't think anybody is reluctant to testify in this situation because it would be good just to clear it up. Let me just give you a point of reference here, Jesse. You know, there are thousands of un- maskings that take place every year under all administrations, and that includes the Trump administration.
What it says is in 2019, last year. The Trump administration had 10,000 plus un-maskings, the year before, 16,000 plus un-maskings. And the senior administration officials, intelligence officials need that for context to understand the degree to which our country is being threatened by hostile actors, you know, the case here would be Russian interference in the 2016 campaign.
WATTERS: So let me ask you a hypothetical question then, Juan. Let me ask you a hypothetical question here, OK? So if George Bush's team, after eight years, started un-masking all of these incoming Obama national security officials, and then sent them in to FBI agents to interview them and then locked them up, do you think that would be OK for a perfectly legal conversation?
WILLIAMS: Again, I think you're ignoring the context that we had a threat to our democratic process, our election.
WATTERS: No, no, Juan, that's the exact context.
WILLIAMS: Everybody says was done by a hostile state, the Russians. That's what we were dealing with, Jesse. And so, they had to take a look. Just one last point to you.
WATTERS: No, no, no, because we got to move it along.
WILLIAMS: When the -- when Maria Bartiromo asked the president --
WATTERS: Come on. We got to move it along.
WILLIAMS: Oh, OK.
WATTERS: Let's move it along. Dana, how do you see these things now moving forward after we know about the unmasking?
PERINO: Well, one thing I would say to Juan is that not all -- all unmaskings are not created equal. So yes, you could have 10,000 plus unmaskings in a year, but you don't necessarily have the unmasking happening in the middle of a presidential transition from one administration to the next after the political opponent had just won, so there's that.
I don't know why I have beeping in my ear, but I do, and so maybe I should pass it along to somebody else. I don't think that anyone is going to testify. It's like somebody's trying to call me but I don't have a phone on.
WATTERS: All right. Well, Emily, let's go to you. Juan says, you know, you're not allowed to talk to a hospital power or else you're going to get unmasked and then prosecuted for crimes, but we don't know what the crimes are. I thought Democrats like talking to our enemies. I mean, they talked to the Iranians. I don't see why we shouldn't be able to talk to the Russians, the Chinese, anybody.
But this judge now, this Judge Sullivan, who's dealing with Flynn, has appointed another judge to recommend to him why he should lock up Mike Flynn even though prosecutors say he's innocent. What kind of sense does that make?
COMPAGNO: Right. And I will be really fast here. This is just a general overview. He can absolutely do that. He can stretch this process out. He can bring in some type of neutral voice to look at everything. He can even hold hearings on factual discrepancies within the record going back in that development.
But the bottom line is that case law holds he has to uphold this motion to dismiss. It is literally -- it is absolutely ridiculous for him to think that he can do anything other than come to that conclusion. Everything else in the interim is wasting taxpayer dollars. And the fact that this is likening this to some type of cronyism.
That's what we should see in Chicago. That has nothing to do with what the DOJ concluded here and their emotion, which was that they identified that corruption and that this motion to dismiss is the result of that investigation. This is wasting our time and money.
WATTERS: Yes, Greg, it looks like Sullivan is way out of line, maybe even trying to force the president to pardon Flynn. What do you think?
GUTFELD: Imagine if you won the World Series and the baseball commissioner announced, "Hey, you know what, we're going to add a post-World Series tournament to really find out who the winner is." Nobody wants to go forward. This is a terrible thing that he did even if it is legal.
But you know what, for everything else, payback is a pregnant dog. Think about how lush this is. Everything the Democrats accused Trump of doing, it turns out they're guilty of it. They're literally, literally -- I sounded like Emily, engineering a scheme to spy on a candidate. So it's really important that all those idiots that spent -- that foisted three years of hell on us, get their licks. They got it -- they've got to be punished.
It's like a movie with a villain has a gun on your hero. And then the villain looks away and the hero grabs a gun and points it at the villain. That's what just happened. The guys with the guns now have the guns on them, so let's make it work. They deserve punishment. They made our lives hell, let's make their lives hell. Why not? Turnabout, again, is fair play. I still don't know what game show that is.
WATTERS: All right, make it -- making people's lives hell. That's what we do. Don't go anywhere. Greg is up next on the media is credibility crisis after pushing the Russia collusion and impeachment hoaxes.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: A new poll on the reliability of journalists comes from Pew, which makes sense because it stinks for the press. Less than half of Americans have a great deal of confidence in them. I wonder why.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
LAWRENCE O'DONNELL, MSNBC HOST: The beginning of the end of the Trump presidency.
NEAL KATYAL, FORMER ACTING SOLICITOR GENERAL, UNITED STATES: He's got to know his future looks like it's behind bars.
CARL BERNSTEIN, CNN POLITICAL COMMENTATOR: It's clear that Mueller is now connecting the dots between a massive obstruction intended to hide the truth.
NICOLE WALLACE, MSNBC ANCHOR: And it's this cloud about collusion with Russia will hang over him no matter where he stands.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN ANCHOR: The President sees the walls closing in and he's lashing out.
RACHEL MADDOW, MSNBC HOST: The presidency is effectively a Russian op.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: That's a montage. So, Americans rank the press behind lawyers and above elected officials. That's like saying you're worse than vermin, but not as bad as lice. Sorry, Emily. But the numbers would have been worse were it not for Fox News. The reason? We're awesome, which is why the other guys hate us so much. It seems like other cable networks exist just to watch Fox.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BRIAN WILLIAMS, MSNBC HOST: Fox News.
JIM ACOSTA, CNN CHIEF WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT: Fox News.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Fox News.
CHRIS CUOMO, CNN HOST: This is what Fox is about.
CHRIS HAYES, MSNBC HOST: Fox News.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Out of Fox News.
COOPER: Figures on Fox News.
CUOMO: Fox News.
O'DONNELL: Watching Fox.
BRIAN STELTER, CNN ANCHOR: Fox News.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: My God, what if we stopped working. CNN would have to actually cover news. But then, who could they blame everything on, right Chris?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CUOMO: Everyone around him has a mask on. Now he does it because he wants to keep up the Fox farce, this bs that COVID-19 is overrated. I guess the anti-elitist over there okay with 10,000 more dead.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: What a child. So this guy has the gall to blame us for future death. What about deaths that already happened, I.E, the actual thousands and rest homes he failed to ask his bro about because he had other things on his mind?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CUOMO: Do you think that you are an attractive person now because you're single and ready to mingle? Do you really think you are some desirable single person and that this is not just people's pain coming out of them?
GOV. ANDREW CUOMO (D-NY): I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: And 5,200 people died in rest homes. Anyway, the poll suggests the media doesn't act on behalf of the public probably because they hate the public. The press is over educated, cloistered, far removed from people who actually make things their idea of slumming it is nonorganic quinoa.
I wonder, if the media became truly diverse, especially in perspective, would they have gotten so much wrong? Would they have missed Trump's victory or seeing through the collusion and obstruction hoax the impeachment travesty? Would they have seen the coronavirus coming instead of drooling over Adam Schiff's lies? Would they have seen Michael Flynn for what he was, a hero getting screwed?
The fact is we know the media is broken. And the only entity not reporting it is the media. We need a 12-step program for the press. The first one would be to buy them a mirror.
Emily, what's your take on the poll? Emily?
COMPAGNO: Oh, sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't hear that because someone was in my ear. What was the question?
GUTFELD: Nothing. I was just saying -- I was going to say hi. They told me to be fast, but apparently, they screwed it all up. What are your thoughts on the poll?
COMPAGNO: I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry. OK, look, I just -- I think that -- I think everyone underestimates the power of an autonomy of every individual to make their own decision. And that's why I'm so proud and honored to work here because we convey everything so that the viewer can make their own decision.
A couple decades ago, I used to commute to work on a ferry and every day I read the physical paper of that Metropolis' main paper. And it was so one- sided it disgusted me. I stopped reading it and I've sort of had a suspicion about them ever since that it grew. But it was I who made that decision. The rest of the media isn't giving their viewers or their listeners a choice.
GUTFELD: Yes. You know, Jesse, one thing I like about you is your ability for self-reflection. Why is that missing in other parts of the media?
WATTERS: Oh, I don't know. If I knew I'd tell you, Greg, but I just -- I don't have that type of ability. Did Emily just say she like reads a periodical on a ferry to a metropolis.
GUTFELD: Yes.
WATTERS: Wow. That's a lot to take.
COMPAGNO: I said, a couple of decades ago.
WATTERS: OK, whatever. Also, Greg, before I say something serious. Like, what would ever happen if you met Cuomo at a bar or something like that? How do you think that would go between you guys?
GUTFELD: I don't know. I have a feeling we don't go to the same bars.
WATTERS: Yes, maybe. But if you did, I just had that feeling it might not go so well for you. The only serious point I have for this is this. The same people that brought us Russia collusion are now telling us Obamagate is a conspiracy.
GUTFELD: Right.
WATTERS: The media, they don't care. They get it all wrong. Everything they say is usually it's the opposite. Like if they say that the Obama Spygate thing was done by the books, you know, it was dirty as sin. That's all I have to say.
GUTFELD: Dana, I have a theory that division is the hamburger helper of CNN. They take a story, they figure out how to divide, and that makes the story bigger. It's their hamburger helper.
PERINO: I love a hamburger helper indeed. You know, it's pretty interesting, 48 percent of people actually have a great deal or a fair amount of trust in the media. So I mean, maybe that is something to look at in terms of the polarization that we have. I'm not exactly sure.
But I do think it is quite rich that somebody who was recovering from coronavirus went on Ferris Bueller's Day Off and then pretended that he didn't, and then staged his reemergence from his basement after he recovered from coronavirus.
GUTFELD: Yes. That's a classic. It will live forever. Juan, last word to you. Agree with me if you must.
WILLIAMS: I have to. Well, how can I argue with you, Gregory? I say -- I was taken by what you said because you said, as Dana just pointed out, it's like half of the American people do have some or a high degree of confidence in the media, but fewer have confidence in our politicians. And I think that the polls show even on the coronavirus, again, about 50 percent of Americans trust the media, but only like 35 percent trust the President.
So, you know, I mean, you could play it either way. You wish we could have confidence in all because I want Emily to be able to read her journal on her ferry and know that it's the truth.
GUTFELD: There you go. All right --
COMPAGNO: That was 20 years ago.
GUTFELD: More on THE FIVE next. You were six.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
COMPAGNO: Welcome back. Quarantine fashion is all about comfort as shoppers take a pass on work attire to stock up on pajamas. Online sales are skyrocketing increasing 143 percent in April. OK, Dana, are you wearing pajama bottoms?
GUTFELD: Right now?
PERINO: No, I actually find pajama bottoms uncomfortable to wear during the day. I think it feels very sloppy. But I do love, love, love wearing jeans so I have some on now.
COMPAGNO: Jesse, I know on the bottom of that suit or shorts usually for you. Have your pajama bottom wearing increased?
WATTERS: Yes. I rotate between Lululemon sweatpants. That's it. I own two pairs, and I just rotate. And I'm wearing shorts now because it's a little hot in here. But why is -- Dana is wearing jeans. Jeans aren't comfortable, Dana.
PERINO: Yes, they are. What are you talking about?
WATTERS: Jeans compared to sweatpants or pajama bottoms? You really are from Wyoming.
PERINO: You feel a little bit more put together if you're wearing jeans.
WATTERS: Oh, I get it.
COMPAGNO: All right, Greg, I am terrified to ask you but what are your thoughts on pajama pants?
GUTFELD: Well, just in general, I've never understood pajamas. It seems like an unnecessary step before slumber. And then you have to undo that step when you awaken. I have not owned a pair of pajamas since third grade basically because I could still fit into them. So why buy a new one?
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: Greg is telling us he sleeps naked.
GUTFELD: Exactly.
WILLIAMS: I'm sorry, Emily. What? Emily?
COMPAGNO: All right, next up, talk about pandemic priorities. Check out these face masks that come with a straw hole for sipping cocktails. So Juan, first we weren't allowed to have straws, and now we can have straws as long as they're through a mask. What are your thoughts?
WILLIAMS: You know, this is -- this seems kind of self-defeating to me. If you have the mask on, it's to prevent you from spreading the virus. Why would you put a hole in it? That defeats the purpose doesn't it?
COMPAGNO: Right. So Greg, when you're in the same bar as Cuomo, are you going to enjoy your cocktails with him with straws in your masks?
GUTFELD: Well, the bars that I go to, everybody wears masks anyway. Haven't you seen Eyes Wide Shut? Look, this is good. This is actually a really good sign this era is going to be a boon for innovation and invention. It's going to be like -- as bad as this is, it's going to be kind of like the space program in which it's going to create all sorts of interesting stuff.
It's going to means tests and stress tests everything in your life. There are things you're not going to do anymore, and there's things you're going to start doing. Indoor exercise saved my life. I've never done it in my life, but now it's like every day.
COMPAGNO: Jesse, what are your thoughts?
WATTERS: You look great, Greg. Is that what you wanted to hear? You look really thin and we're really happy for you.
GUTFELD: 30 pounds, buddy. 30 pounds.
COMPAGNO: Wow. That's a lot.
WATTERS: Yes, I would only use a paper straw.
COMPAGNO: All right, Dana, last word.
PERINO: I think Americans are ingenious. They'll figure this out. I'm excited to see what the Tang of this era is going to be. I don't know what it'll be.
COMPAGNO: Yes. Best drink ever. "ONE MORE THING" is up next. Stay with us.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PERINO: All right, it's time for "ONE MORE THING." Juan?
WILLIAMS: So, Dana, this time of year, high school and college seniors are usually getting ready to walk across that big stage for their graduation. But of course, we have coronavirus, so for many those plans are on hold. I want you to take a look though at what we at THE FIVE did for our production assistant Maria Luca.
Maria would have been one of the millions of seniors who would have been graduating this year. So, we wanted to show her our appreciation, a kind of appreciation all graduates deserve. Maria is graduating from New York University with a bachelor's degree in business and media.
Maria started off as an intern here on THE FIVE and spent two semesters on the team before getting a job officially joining THE FIVE family. Congratulations, Maria.
PERINO: Indeed. A big congratulations. Good job, Maria. Jesse.
WATTERS: All right, we have Jesse's Boxing News. Do we have anything for that? There we go. That's actually my body. It seriously is my body. I'm not kidding. I've been really working out hard. And I've been working out so hard, I'm going to participate in a celebrity boxing match. You guys are not going to believe who I get into the ring with.
COMPAGNO: Who?
WATTERS: Mike Tyson. Just kidding.
COMPAGNO: No.
WATTERS: No. Mike Tyson put out a training video. He says he's back. Look at him. He's in great shape. Look at the speed. Look at the power. He's still got it. I'm ready for a Holyfield rematch. I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to get the sports back on.
PERINO: Yes, indeed. Well, on Sunday, you'll get to watch NASCAR. Indeed. You guys remember K-9 Companions for Independence. It's a great group. Remember, we had Spike. He's part of the daily briefing for a while. It's a nonprofit and it trains service dogs to those in need.
Well, they've run into this problem during the coronavirus. They can't get the puppies to where they need to be. So these wonderful private pilots have decided that they're going to take up the cause. They've got 29 puppies that will be flown to Seattle, Boise, Portland, Great Falls, Montana, to get to their trainer so that they can become K-9 companions for people who really need them. cci.org, if you want to learn more, maybe lend a helping hand. Great people. All right, Greg.
GUTFELD: All right, let's do this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Animals are great. Animals are great. Animals are great.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: During the pandemic, we know social distancing is very important. Unfortunately, few -- there are a few people who don't want to play along like this little fella here. This owl just wants to be, you know, on her own, but this parent just getting in her business, getting in her business.
You don't do this. You don't do this on the subway, you don't do this on the bus, and you don't do it on a perch parent. What kind of parrot are you anyway? Right? Look at that. Look at that guy. This guy does not take no for an answer. Clearly he has not heard of the MeToo Movement. Get away from that owl.
PERINO: What a pervy parrot. Emily, you've got 25 seconds.
GUTFELD: New York Post headline.
COMPAGNO: We just celebrated the 75th anniversary of Victory in Europe Day. I want to tell you guys about the Indiana Spirit of 45, a nonprofit, all- volunteer organization with a goal to honor our greatest generation, all who have served.
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