This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 21, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Eric Bolling along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Bob Beckel, Dan Perino and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, Greg is next is OK. It's time for "The Five."


BOLLING: OK, so we're two weeks out from midterm elections and it's gonna be a close call on who wins the Senate, every day counts, every seat counts, so the motto should be, no mistakes for anyone, Republicans or Democrats, but then mind, President Obama made a huge mistake in an interview with Al Sharpton yesterday. The president admitting that Democrat candidate will push away from his unpopular policies just to get elected, then once elected, they'll vote with him again.


BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: The bottom line is, though, these are all folks who vote with me. They have supported my agenda in Congress. They are on the right side of minimum wage. They are on the right side of fair pay. They are on the right side of rebuilding our infrastructure. They're on the right side of early childhood education. So, this isn't about my feelings being hurt. These are folks who are strong allies and supporters of me. And I tell them, I said, "you know what, you do what you need to win. I will be responsible for making sure that our voter's turnout."


BOLLING: All right. So you getting, he's basically telling them to lie now so they can win the election. Greg, any surprises here?

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Well, you know it's bad when you go to Al Sharpton to help build your reputation, that's like going to Chris Matthews for advice on sanity. It's just strange how -- bedfellows. If you're a child, you don't keep a balloon with you if it's out of helium, you don't drag it behind you, so you tell yourself to President Obama, in a way you like that kid with a deflated balloon, it doesn't make you look good. And it's likely dishonest because, they're not putting President Obama out in the front, they're putting him in the back where he's raising money. So in a way, they're putting the old me, to in a fancy stew. The stew may look great but the meats bad.


BOLLING: Dana, are you surprised he basically admitted, he spoke the words that we're all suspecting, they really don't want President Obama around, they don't want his policy attached to what they're doing, they gonna try to win without him but then once seat they get elected, they're gonna vote that way.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I think, you know, the president spoke the truth. GUILFOYLE: Yeah, that he did.

PERINO: This is the truth. Three weeks ago, when he said -- David Axelrod called President Obama statement about all the policies are on the ballot. David Axelrod, one of his former political advisers said, "That was a big mistake, the president shouldn't have said that," and I said, "well the president's just being honest." OK, so the president goes on Al Sharpton and he's just honest. Because that is actually what has -- the Democrats have spent millions, tens of millions of dollars on ads to show that they are not really Obama Democrats, that they really would vote for all things other things, the Republicans tend to like. But the truth is, the Democrats, they all fall in to lock step on November 5th and they will support him. So I think he was just telling the truth.

BOLLING: And Bobby, too much true?

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: No, I mean, you know what this is, I know it shocking, you know, but this happens. I mean, in the last three presidents in six years, Clinton, Bush and Obama, they all had their polls rates and they didn't campaign a lot of place. Believe it on our side, the people are gonna vote against the Democrats, on Obama policy are set. They're ready -- look at the undecided numbers, they're down on 3 percent, 4 percent. There are no more voters to get. The only issue here is, is there a way to turnout the Democratic base, kill hire. And right now, I don't afraid see it, but that's what he said, and he's exactly right. I mean, he was speaking the truth.

BOLLING: K.G. I got a lot of polls here, a lot of close rates is Louisiana, Alaska, Arkansas, Iowa, Kansas, Colorado, Georgia, maybe this will swing a couple of the undecided's into the Republican camp, knowing that if you vote for his democrats, you're not sure what -- you're gonna get the guy that you see on TV or are you gonna get President Obama's policies.

GUILFOYLE: Yeah, look, I mean, I like in fact that he's being honest, he's saying, "listen, do whatever it take to win." This is who we know he is, this is, Bob bolitics, this is what Bob would do, which is, tell him what's happen them.

BECKEL: Hell yeah.

GUILFOYLE: Cash it in on Election Day and go back to your true self after it's done. See Bob, and everything will be forgiven.

BECKEL: What a strikingly. What a horrible person I am and all of the people.


BECKEL: Of course we're gonna play politics.


GUILFOYLE: It his win, that's the thing.

BECKEL: Of course, and whatever cost.

GUILFOYLE: If you're not gonna.


PERINO: Bob, you really think that what he said actually helps the Democrats?


BECKEL: I think it helps with the basic. You don't understand, there are a lot of people actually like his policy including me. And in the minority communities, they like him. So but, the question is why they're gonna turnout? Why.

BOLLING: But again.


PERINO: If you're already have those places locked up.

BOLLING: Yes, exactly. Bingo.

PERINO: Why would you try to hurt the red state Democrats?

BOLLING: It's the red state Democrats, the ones that we were talking about.


GUILFOYLE: Senioring (ph) in the ballot.

BECKEL: The people in the south are heavily backed by turnout.


BECKEL: Whether it's Louisiana, go down the list. That's all black turnout down here, that's what makes the difference.

BOLLING: So that doesn't necessarily help the turnout.

GUILFOYLE: I think it too. He's worried about it.

BECKEL: Yes, I think it does with all the black.

BOLLING: Let's do this. With the majority of Americans feeling things have gotten worst under President Obama's watch. What could possibly motivate someone to vote Democratic, Mr. Bill O'Reilly has a few thoughts.


BILL O'REILLY, THE O'REILLY FACTOR SHOW HOST: If a whopping 64 percent of America's thinks the country is out of control under the Obama administration, why would anyone vote for Democratic candidate? The answer is, emotion, Democrats have been very successful in convincing some voters that the Republican Party favors the rich and is anti-woman. The Republican Party has not been able to put forth a leader to refute those allegations effectively.



GUILFOYLE: Yeah, he's right. Because, there hasn't been able to come forward and lay the case and make the case out to say, "This is why you should not vote Democrat." There hasn't been telling with the persuasion ability to get out there in front of it and instead, you have people just voting on emotion, on out of fear, and out of listening to -- you know, Debbie Wasserman Schultz and thinking that the Republicans are the -- you know, the worst things since the devil's advocate. I mean, that's the problem here, its right.

BECKEL: Well, I just the -- I mean, all this again, for looking at it from a political campaign standpoint. It's just what you do. I mean, and republicans do it too and right now, who's ever undecided two weeks out, half of them won't vote, so now you're down looking at a very small number of undecided voters. And the difference of the turnout, if you had 5 percent increase to turnout in Louisiana among blackfor (ph) you can actually close rates out of nothing.

BOLLING: No doubt, no doubt, but what will that do it, and by the way that his problem.


BOLLING: You heard in O'Reilly, it's all about emotion. And by the way, isn't all voting about emotions?

PERINO: Yeah, I think you could probably.

BECKELL: Yeah, right.

PERINO: Make that case as well that -- and in fact, certainly for President Obama's first election in 2008, definitely that's -- the country was just swept up in a fervor and it felt good to vote for him. I think that also people vote out of loyalty's to the party, like if you are a committed partisan or you really support your party, than you show up, even if it's at the midterms. That's remarkable how many, hundreds of thousands of people are registered voters that vote every presidential election but they give midterms a passed. So that's what they're trying to find, to try to get out on both sides. But I also think that people in some ways vote out of a sense of survival. So the Democrats have tried to paint this as a disaster, if President Obama doesn't have a Democratic majority in the Senate going forward. And the Republicans have said, it's going to be a disaster if the president doesn't have a Republican -- or a Democrat majority in the future.

BOLLING: So Greg, weigh in on this reports, you take it where you want. But isn't -- we're two weeks out, I mean, if we haven't stood up enough emotion for the Democrats and always polls are showing Republicans taking the Senate, you know, I mean, it looks like they're gonna to take it?


BOLLING: What's the emotion that's gonna change -- emotions to Democrat.

GUTFELD: Emotions make everything worst in life. You don't go to a restaurant because the chef is emotional. You go to the restaurant because the chef is a great chef, not because he makes you feel passion, what a bunch of garbage. This wasn't always the case with Democrats or liberal that's happened in the past four decades, where we have had a move made towards feeling over fact, grievance over grit, it used to be what you did, not how you feel. The Democratic Party has become a mosaic of feeling fascist, which truth I think.


GUTFELD: It's true, because truth -- you hate truth, because truth hurts. And that's what you think on campuses and the media, you cannot actually speak the truth.


BECKEL: I just want to say to you that the Democrat.

GUILFOYLE: He says it was in talking point.



BECKEL: And 32 million voted in 2008 and about a little over 10 million voted in off year election.

PERINO: Right.

BOLLING: Just e-mail Josh Earnest with respect tell him, we're still doing the show.

GUILFOYLE: Tell him to visit.


PERINO: You guys are mean to him. He brought research.

BOLLING: Democrats.



GUTFELD: No, his followed.

BOLLING: Democrats are going to follow President Obama's successful 2012 script by waging in a war on women. There is one problem, voters aren't buying it anymore. Listen to the New York Times Jeremy Peters reveal how it's affecting one big race.


JEREMY PETERS, NEW YORK TIMES REPORTER: It's not nearly as sizable and advantages as it once was in Colorado is the prime example of that, where you Mark Udall who's really on the defense about making his raise so much about birth control and reproductive right. He is to have a double digit gender gap.


PETERS: Now that shrunk to about nine points. So there's evidence that some of this singular focus and of course it backfired.


BOLLING: Well, he's not the only journal -- journal pointing out that Dems are losing the battle. Here are some surprising comments from former Daily Beast publisher and northern leftie (ph) Tina Brown.


TINA BROWN, FORMER DAILY BEAST PUBLISHER: Particularly for women, I don't think he makes them feel safe. You know, I get the feeling unsafe. They feel unsafe economically, the feeling unsafe with regard to ISIS, the feeling unsafe about Ebola. What they feel unsafe about is the government response to different crisis.


BOLLING: If you want to take this one.


BOLLING: Colorado, you see the voting, you see the margins in (inaudible)

PERINO: So the number one issue for women across the board has always been the polls have told us, its jobs and the economy, and that hasn't changed. But what Tina Brown is talking about is more recent events in terms of security, though, if not just sure, economic security but your national security and you worry about your children and your grandchildren. I think a key difference of last year's election cycle which you had the two big mistakes by Senate Republican candidates, Akin and Mourdock, bringing up rape and birth control, and that's actually becomes the October surprise that helps, make it look like birth control was the most important issue to voters and the Democrats played that very well. This year that has not happened because candidates have been smarter.

GUILFOYLE: They're running out of time for the October surprise, aren't they? Bob?

BECKEL: There's still a little time. Can I make conform about this gender gap? People have misinterpreted this, married women vote Republican. Single women vote heavily to Democrats. That's where the Democrat comes from.

PERINO: That's true.



BECKEL: But the question now is, and they generally tell the voter for Democrats they will feel safer with Democrats in terms of their economy, their economic -- well, being they don't trust promises.

BOLLING: This is drama for war on women, make it look like the other side has a war on women, but as Jeremy Peters points out, it's not working.

BECKEL: We just read two people, with all due respect, you know nothing about politics.

BOLLING: Jeremy Peters, I mean, look, OK.

GUILFOYLE: Bob, Come on. Oh, Bob.

BOLLING: That's not enough.

GUTFELD: Well, to Bob's point, he is right. That married women tend to be more conservative. But that also correlate with age. And with age comes wisdom and it's a known fact that the older that you get the more conservative you get. Now always tell young people, "You don't have to wait to become a conservative."


GUTFELD: A lot of women in Boston (ph) caught on to the big joke, which seems to be even more sexist to assume that women cannot take care of themselves because they're women, and therefore need the government to take care of them.

PERINO: Right. At that's the single, when you're young like that, you say the same reason why young women on juries are not a good idea. They don't get it. They're not in that in that same like life experience of paying the bill, doing the mortgage, kids, communities, crime, education, health care. They're healthy and hot and running around without a care in the world.

BECKEL: They have every right in the world.

GUILFOYLE: I didn't say they.


GUILFOYLE: I just thank and excuse them, so they can go back on kinder or math.com.


BOLLING: This last one is good one. So what will all this mean in the Conservative Political Commentator Mark Steyn says, "Winning two weeks from today, would be great, but means nothing if conservatives don't wage a cultural war, the other 364 days of the year, listen.


MARK STEYN, CONSERVATIVE POLITICAL COMMENTATOR: Election Day is one day a year and the culture is the other 364 days a year, so if you're not out there competing in the schools, competing in the pop culture, competing in the media, competing in the main line churches, then the air that we breathe becomes liberal. That's the default setting of society. And whoever gets elected on a Tuesday morning in November doesn't actually make that much different.


BOLING: Steyn makes a lot of sense here, Bob. The other 364 win the culture war which really matters.


BECKEL: First of all we're taking -- I think Mark Steyn is a brilliant guy and we got two people who -- the point here is that culture war, what was that mean, it used to be in the culture war was about, it was generally run by the Christian coalition, that would they made a big mark on that? I'm not sure what it means anymore.

PERINO: I agree with you, I would have loved a follow-up question, because I think, Mark has a good point, but I want to know, OK, so then, what does he mean by that, like it is to get a vision.

GUTFELD: What is it culture? If does he mean -- does he mean, if he is talking about a culture independency, a culture of identification, sexual identity, as opposed to patriotism and achievement. Is that what he's talking about? Because when you hear culture war, you think about something completely different.

PERINO: And it is not cool.

GUILFOYLE: Anything about the 1980s

GUTFELD: Yeah, exactly.

BOLLING: Maybe he means what were just talking about a minute ago. Maybe it means this is entitlement mentality of young people or this feeling that if you're a minority, you had some sort of a by a compromised opportunity in America therefore, you deserve more.

GUILFOYLE: Mark, if you're watching, call the control room.

PERINO: I think, yeah, Mark we love to talk to you.

GUILFOYLE: Dana, answer the question.

PERINO: I think about, you know, every novel that I read, I would say 99 percent of the novels I read have some sort of shot against a Republican or conservative ideal. So in some ways, that I -- you could take that part, novels and books are important to me, and I read right past that stuff, I don't let it bother me, but it does seep into.

GUILFOYLE: Pen in culture.

PERINO: Yeah, it's a judge over time. Especially, if you look at any women's magazine, is that -- that is lost. It is just full bore liberal low talking points.

GUTFELD: Well, the most important thing and I will say this until I'm blue (ph) my face, its one thing could be right, but it's more important to be persuasively right. To be able to articulate a coherence strategy which humor, with wit, with charm. Which -- for the most part Republicans aren't as good at doing it as Democrats happen.

BECKEL: These are very factional here. There's a people like Steyn who believes the Republicans are being pure Republicans, whether they decide the final list. The problem is, without compromise.

GUILFOYEL: And he can't win.

BECKEL: You're not gonna get anything done and it both -- all we know is it's a Congress that did nothing? And the president did nothing, the next two years, without some kind of compromise.

GUILFOYLE: You got to change, so have the party of know or just saying you're against something crazy some ideas that before.

BECKEL: Some of the best legislation happened when one party controlled the White House and the other controlled Congress, because they're forced to do it.


PERINO: That's why Obama had bought a good -- his last two years with the Republican Senate.

BECKEL: Well, he's going to have to worry about that. I can't probably against that.

GUTFELD: Don't forget, he's got his pen.

PERINO: And a phone.

BECKEL: Exactly.

BOLLING: And a phone, right, well I think. Next on The Five, what are your media habits? What did they say about your politics and vice versa? Coming right up.


GUTFELD: A new study on polarization finds that when it comes to consuming news, the left and right prefer to eat separately. They found that cons get their info from FNC while libs (ph) get theirs from many sources, like NBR, The New York Times and PBS, which is about as diverse as the teacher lounge in Berkley. And that proves a key point. Liberals feed from a variety of outlets because that variety is decidedly liberal. In fact 28 of the 36 most used nude -- news sources or nude, are favored by liberals, so parking themselves at this buffet says nothing about open mindedness, it just says most of the media meets their assumptions. There are dozens of different items are on that media menu, but there are all tofu and they loved their tofu. This also explains why they're more likely to dump their friend over politics. The survey also shows that the right expresses greater distrust of most news, except for Fox news, suggesting perhaps that maybe we are the polarizer's. But there only proves the first point, if the alets (ph) lean left, then most people are less likely to trust that they're fair and balanced. Since FNC is the only store selling that stuff, they come to us. So as researchers desperately try to dissect FNC's success, like it's an alien autopsy, we know why it works, it offers a more honest portrayal of the world. So it's polarization becomes the new smear against fair and balance. We know that is vaillamment (ph) for the good old days, when lock step was the only method of traveling. Bob, you love polls, some say too much. What did you make from this study? There's a lot of interesting stuff there.

BECKEL: It's a very, very good study. Few does are getting better and better.

GUILFOYLE: You like their work.

BECKEL: Oh yeah, they're good at it.


BECKEL: And a few are independent. They're not rumor at though. But here's the thing, it follows the course of what you see in the census data, the conservatives are living together in the same areas. Liberals are going -- it's polarization not just in politics, but the news sources. When I hear Republicans complain about this and I understand that, but you know, that's just the way it is. I mean, you have to deal with that, the way you can't shut them down, so what do you do? I mean, I think you open more -- you know, right wing blog whatever, I don't know but it's just -- this has been around a long time, the Republicans have not learned how to manage that fact.


BOLLING: I think, no one's complaining. Did you hear any complains?


BECKEL: All the time.

BOLLING: No, no, no. As far as the study goes, and Greg smiles just points out that -- hey, you like burgers, you eat in a burger joint, you like tofu, you go to the tofu place.


(LAUGHTER) PERINO: No, but actually President Obama complains about Fox news all the time.

GUILFOYLE: All the time.

PERINO: All the other media outlets actually support his world view, that actually is -- that is a fact.

BECKEL: The question is why they -- just because there, you assume that they're liberal and therefore, they don't support Republicans or Republicans don't make their case very well.

PERINO: No, I don't think that's the case.

GUTFELD: What about this, Eric, this is funny. Liberals are more likely to drop a friend on Facebook.


GUTFELD: And doubt to be all righty. (ph) They both that the small percentage of both, but they do it much more.

BOLLING: So you saying, conservatives are loyal?


GUTFELD: No they.

PERINO: Tolerance.

BOLLING: Intolerant.

GUTFELD: Tolerant. They're move tolerant.

(CROSSTALK) GUTFELD: It's loyal, like loyal to friends.

BOLLING: Yeah. I don't like what you say, but I'm not gonna drop.



BOLLING: I drop a lot of things very quickly. Buzz feed at the very bottom of that list.

GUTFELD: Yeah, most at least trusted.

BOLLING: A least trusted, not surprising with all the cat videos in this year.

GUTFELD: Wait. Don't blame it on the cat videos.

BOLLING: Sorry Ed. Wall Street Journal near the very top, that was very, very interesting, hats off to our sister group over there at WSJ.

BECKEL: WSJ. You're saying that you know, tolerant for Republicans. Why Republicans.

BOLLING: No, no, no. That was -- what keep that also, I was just telling about.

PERINO: But tolerant that grand to our Democrats.

GUILFOYLE: No, I -- but I -- liberals obviously, there you know, a lesson. I mean, do you've got people it's very popular to be against Republicans, or don't have any Republican's friend, befriend them on Facebook, I don't care.

BECKEL: Well, I mean, this is what I mean about you guys, just go out and get yourself some media outlets. I mean, I am tired of hearing it.


GUTFELD: Before fox news, there wasn't any.

GUILFOYLE: Right Greg, because if it weren't for Fox news, it would just be complete group think with the main stream media.

BECKEL: Yeah, that's rights. It's gonna Fox in here. GUILFOYLE: No one, because who else is like us? Who will report the side of it and tells the whole story.

BOLLING: I would say something else, Bob. The whole thing about Fox and you admit this, because you're living it. We have a very loud vocal liberal opinion at this table, you watch some of the shows that.

(LAUGHTER) BOLLING: There is no conservative voice like your liberal voice is here. No conservative voice on.

GUILFOYLE: And we're unequal.

GUTFELD: Yes, and it also appears on all Fox shows, pretty much, for the most part.

GUILFOYLE: We have an odd people who are liberal at this network.


GUILFOYLE: That are employees here and they work.

GUTFELD: But they have a different elevator. I won't -- I will not go to the elevator with them. I also tell them all, do not look me in the eye, especially that skinny guy that used to be with Hannity, can't think of his name.

BOLLING: Wears first blue.

GUTFELD: Yes, it drives me crazy. Do you have -- I had the situation a month ago where an old friend e-mailed me and said, "You're turning into the crazy people, like on your network." And I said, "Give me specifics" and he could not, and I realized he was just upset that I disagreed with him on his assumptions. So he dumped me.


GUTFELD: Yeah, you get the target. You become -- once you get, once you're affiliated to Fox you get.

PERINO: That's might be also why Bob, when you say that people tend to -- I think Michael Barone has written a lot about this but, people tending to move where they think they'll get along better with people, they share a world view, like if you want a better state government, you might leave, you know, Michigan for Texas.

GUILFOYLE: Yeah, but you like what you like.

BECKEL: Your home state, they put really Colorado to get exactly to that purpose, when because first place community was plain conservative right? And it still remains so, as quite to that.

GUILFOYLE: What's wrong with liking what you like or wanting to be around people who you like?

BECKEL: I would rather live with liberals.


PERINO: Bob, what? Do you have more liberal friends or conservative friends? Like true friends?

GUILFOYLE: Conservative.

BECKEL: Well, you know, considered most situations, yeah, a lot of conservatives. I love conservatives.


BECKEL: I love what they're saying for.

GUTFELD: All right. We will end on that note. Ahead, if you want to get paid without having to show up for work, we know just the job for you, stay tuned.


GUILFOYLE: While many American workers in the private sectors are struggling. Hence, of thousands of government workers are getting paid to do nothing. Well, you heard that right, a spending new GIO report found that from 2010 to 2013 more than 57,000 government workers were put on paid leave for month. Sometimes even years, all while they waited to be punished for misbehavior. The cost to taxpayers, a cool $775 million just for their salary alone. Is anybody irritated? I know Bob is not. Greg, do you have a thought on this?

GUTFELD: I've read this -- some interesting stuff. One of the guys got paid leave while being investigated for using pornography at work. So this is an amazing scam. He got off at work, then got off from work, fully paid. Government, for a lot of people...

GUILFOYLE: No personal stories from "The Five."

BECKEL: I couldn't get away with saying that.

GUTFELD: The government -- government often is a lottery for many people. Instead of scratching the card, you fill out on application. I'm not saying everybody but some people do win, and a lot of these people win.

GUILFOYLE: What about these numbers: $775 million...

BOLLING: Almost $1 billion.

GUILFOYLE: ... hard-earned dollars, American taxpayer dollars.

BOLLING: Taxpayer dollars. Here's the deal: It was supposed to be put in -- it was put into place so that if there was disputes, if there people questioning...


BOLLING: ... someone says -- he was accused -- wrongly accused. This person should have been put on leave, paid until they figured out. It was supposed to happen fast.

They realized that you could almost ask for anyone to go on leave and dispute anything: "I have a problem with my boss," "I'm a whistle blower." It became very, very big. The other problem was people realized that they could stay home, still get paid in salary up to another level based on time worked, and also this one.


BOLLING: When you retire, you can salary up and retire at a higher pension when you're not even working. It's disturbing.

BECKEL: You know, it's -- well, it's disturbing, but -- to you -- but the fact is these people have been, in many cases charged. They haven't proven they've done anything wrong. The Defense Department has 37 percent of the civilian employees in the government. And the question I had, and they've put about 10,000 people on this list. A lot of these people come back to work, and they have a union. That's the other thing, which is good for them. I think that's great. Why not go home? Why should you take salary until you're proved you've done something wrong?

BOLLING: I'm not questioning that, Bob. That is what it was used for.

GUILFOYLE: There's a legitimate reason.

BOLLING: But they abuse the system.


BOLLING: People were -- people were looking for...

GUILFOYLE: Not innocent.

BOLLING: ... paid leave to stay home and still get paid.

BECKEL: Probably a small percentage of them did, but the fact of the matter is, these people have a right to get paid until they're proven they've broken some rules or laws.

PERINO: Not necessarily. I think, like, in the case of the pornography, that you could -- Congress could change the law so that it would say, you will be eligible for back pay if your name is cleared.


PERINO: If you get accused of pornography or something, that you have to have some discretion as a manager, and that's what -- that doesn't exist here. So that's why so many people are taking advantage of it.

And people like just two weeks ago, we didn't have a chance to talk about it on the show, but there was a senior procurement officer at the Veterans Affairs Department, who was about to get fired for really bad behavior, and instead, when she got wind of that, she retired instead. Which means that she gets her full pension. So she basically is sitting pretty on taxpayer dollars instead of having been fired, which she was going to be fired. There's something wrong with this system.

BECKEL: There's -- what are there, two and a half million civilian employees in the government? I think that's right. And so, you know, you're talking about a fairly significant number of people, but we don't -- still don't know how many of them really did something wrong.

GUILFOYLE: This kind of thing happens all the time. Look at the Lois Lerner case. She was receiving compensation the whole time until she resigned. She was on paid leave, refusing to answer the questions of the taxpayers in a lawful investigation. You get paid; get paid to lie, get paid to not do your job, get paid to obstruct justice. I mean, it's terrible.

BECKEL: Well, when you were a prosecutor, you would convince people, if they were convicted, in some cases, they would lose their child and obviously go to prison. So...

GUILFOYLE: Well, if they were going to jail for life.

GUTFELD: This kind of corruption, I mean, if you need this money legitimately to pay these people. The corruption is a byproduct of a bloated bureaucracy. These things would not happen if government was smaller, because you lack the luxury of such a payout. Especially in times of strife, you tend to tighten your belts. You prioritize, which seems like this would be the right time to do that. And you look at $779 million which could have been used for vaccines against Ebola or the enterovirus or leftism (ph).

That was a jab at you, Bob.

BECKEL: Yes, well -- no, I got it.

But, you know, I agree, by the way. I think there ought to be zero based budgeting in the government. You ought to change the budget to two years, as opposed to one year. And then, if you go through these department agencies, there are so many duplicates.

Here's the problem: they all have constituencies. It's very tough to get rid of them. That's, I think, the biggest issue Democrats or Republicans could go on, is tax reform.


BECKEL: One thing they could do would be that. The problem is, the tax code has got all these special interests. But if there's one place the Democrats and Republicans agree is tax reform.

PERINO: They should do that. I like -- I like the idea of the two-year budget.

BECKEL: Yes, it's absolutely -- it's so ridiculous, because nobody would ever make it.

GUTFELD: And then we don't have to talk about it every year.

BECKEL: Correct.

GUTFELD: That would be great.

GUILFOYLE: Well, that's a perfect place. Let's leave it right there.

GUTFELD: No, let's keep talking about it.

GUILFOYLE: No, never.

GUTFELD: All right.

GUILFOYLE: Drink some from your unicorn cup.

Coming up, is your home phone gathering dust? When was the last time you used yours? Are land lines going the way of the dinosaur, as in extinct?

GUTFELD: They're not.

GUILFOYLE: Next on "The Five."



JERRY SEINFELD, COMEDIAN: Excuse me one second. Hello?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hi. Would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service?

SEINFELD: Gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number, and I'll call you later.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm sorry, we're not allowed to do that.

SEINFELD: Oh, I guess you don't like people calling you at home?


SEINFELD: Well, now you know how I feel.


PERINO: Seinfeld isn't alone. Not many people like getting calls from telemarketers. In fact, a new study says 35 percent of respondents usually ignore their land lines in order to avoid them. And speaking of home phones, more than half surveyed said they rarely use them anymore. And 28 percent can't even tell you what their own numbers are.

Now I don't know about this table.

GUTFELD: It's a good table.

PERINO: I don't have a land line anymore. Do you have a land line?

BOLLING: We do have a land line, and I'd be honest with you; I don't even answer it when it rings. I don't. But caller ID comes up. I don't answer it. So can I weigh in on...

PERINO: Then why do you have it?

BOLLING: Here's exactly the reason why I have it. Because the cable companies realize that, if you bundle the home phone in with Internet and TV, you're going to take it. Yes, for a few bucks more.

GUILFOYLE: So true. Time Warner does it.

BOLLING: You can't live without TV and you can't live without the Internet. You can live without the land line, but at that point, it's a loss.

GUILFOYLE: And Verizon with Fios and home service.

PERINO: Bob, did you -- your first land line was one of those tin cans with the string.

BECKEL: Yes, that was pretty good. That's...

GUILFOYLE: He still has it.

BECKEL: Excuse me. You're being rough on me lately.

GUILFOYLE: Not really.

BECKEL: The -- we actually -- when I grew up as a kid, we had -- what do you call it?

PERINO: Party line.

BECKEL: Party lines. That was great, because I could listen to what all my neighbors were talking.

The -- Eric's point is this is an infrastructure that's there. I mean, it's been laid out. They spent 50 years putting this thing together, and you might as well use it for something. Right? And it's a way to get information to the home. How else would you do it?

PERINO: Well, I'm curious, Kimberly, do you have a land line?

GUILFOYLE: I have a home phone, but it's just for my doorman. Like a...

BECKEL: Your doorman?


BECKEL: How about your chauffeur?

GUILFOYLE: I don't have a chauffeur. No. But it's just so they can ring me to say, "Oh, there's a package. There's a delivery."

GUTFELD: A stalker.

PERINO: "There's some strange guy down here."

GUILFOYLE: And I say, "Don't let him in."

PERINO: "His name is Greg Gutfeld."

GUILFOYLE: I'm like "Not him again."

PERINO: You don't have a land line, do you? Or do I just not have that number?


GUILFOYLE: Oh, it's about to get weird.

GUTFELD: Yes. I got rid of it because of you. Do we have to get into that here on TV?

Yes, the phone is like a little -- the little brother of a friend who tags along that you're just stuff with. However, there is a tragedy behind the death of the phone and the death of the rotary phone.

First, the end of the crank call, which was my expertise...

PERINO: The crank call.

GUTFELD: ... from 8 to 13. I was the best crank caller. I would tape record a toilet flushing, and then I would call restaurants and they'd pick up, but I'd play the flushing toilet. It made me laugh.

But anyway, and also the other thing that's missing is there's no more scenes in made-for-TV movies or movies in general where someone gets strangled by a phone cord. That's gone.

PERINO: It's hard to strangle somebody with one.

GUTFELD: You can't kill anybody with a cell phone. You could probably beat them with it. But it takes a long time. Believe me, I've tried.

PERINO: I have a question about Eric. How do you monitor -- like when I was growing up, my sister and I shared the phone with my mom and dad. And then my mom and dad could monitor our phone activity, and if somebody called after 9 p.m., you know, there'd be trouble. There's no control anymore.

BOLLING: Yes. You have to stick your ear to the wall. You can talk about Eric Chase, my son?


BOLLING: You have to stick your ear to the wall or walk down the hallway real quietly and just listen -- listen to the conversation. That's the only way -- you can't pick up the other line anymore. Because now it says "conference" on it if you do pick it up.

BECKEL: Let me tell you something. I have debt collectors that have been after me for eight years for a particular thing. And now -- they all called on the land line. It was great, because I didn't have to answer it. Now they call the cell phone. I still don't answer.

PERINO: Bob, can I ask you something? How does polling keep up with -- you know, we read every day there's a new poll coming out. How are they polling people if they're not on their land lines?

BECKEL: They have -- well, they have cell phones.

GUILFOYLE: They call me on my cell.

BECKEL: And that was a big controversy for a couple of years because they couldn't figure out how to get the cell phones. Now they can. And they do it proportionately. Because I mean, if you're depending on land line voters, you're going to have 10 percent of the voters.

BOLLING: This is amazing, that 40 -- according to the research, 40 percent of households no longer have a land line. That seems a lot, right?

GUTFELD: It should -- I always think there should be a correlation between the rise of cell phones and a decline in death. Because remember, when something bad was happening, you always had to dial seven numbers, and it was like -- and then it would go back really slow. And like, there's a guy coming with a knife.

Now you've got a cell phone, and you just press "911." And the cops get there faster. That's...

PERINO: You know another problem with this, though, is that nobody knows their -- like, I know my mom's phone number, but I can't tell you my sister's, because I just go in my phone and I call "Angie." That's the way it works. But what if I -- like, if I lose my phone, I would lose all those numbers.

GUTFELD: But you don't even like Angie. You've said that many times.

GUILFOYLE: That is not true.

PERINO: She's the other sister.

GUTFELD: She's the other sister.

PERINO: That's what they call her. The other sister. Poor Angie.

BECKEL: That's terrible.

PERINO: Next, stay tuned for one of the most excited contestants in the history of "The Price is Right." Plus our favorite game shows of all time coming up.


BECKEL: This is the E block where they park the liberal every day and give them a lot of time.

So a lot of consultant -- contestants get excited when they win something on a game show, and then there's this guy named Elliott on "The Price is Right."


DREW CAREY, HOST, "THE PRICE IS RIGHT": My new buddy, John. John, $25,000! Twenty-five grand, buddy. Just like that.


PERINO: I love America.

BECKEL: It's hard to describe exactly what kind of moves Elliott was making after he won that big showcase showdown, whatever that means. He later walked away with an 11-night cruise to Tahiti by himself, a car and $26,000, which the IRS will take half of.


BECKEL: It's true.

OK. Now, you guys have -- Dana's been on a bone fide...

GUILFOYLE: Correct. On a smart show.

PERINO: Yes, but I did not do well.

BECKEL: Well, this is a smart show. If you had your choice of being on one game show, what would it be?

BOLLING: Can I just point out that when I opened the ratings from last night's show, we were No. 1 in all of cable news by a mile? I did the same thing as him.

GUTFELD: Really?

PERINO: Let's see it.

BOLLING: All right. No.

GUILFOYLE: Come on. Bob does it before the show.

BOLLING: I will. I'll do it, but I have to have a reason to do it.

PERINO: Woot! Woot!

BOLLING: OK, so...

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God, that was weird.

BOLLING: ... the question was that the producers asked me, if you could be on any game show, which would it be, and that would be "American Ninja Warriors."

But if I -- my favorite game shows were "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" and "Minute to Win It." Absolutely love.

BECKEL: Dana, what about you?

PERINO: Well, I was thinking more along the lines of a group activity. I would love to see "The Five" go on "Family Feud."

GUILFOYLE: I picked that, too! Like, we're thinking of the same thing.

PERINO: Can you imagine? We would seriously win.

GUILFOYLE: We would dominate.

PERINO: Definitely.

GUILFOYLE: I really want to do that.

BECKEL: I would dominate you.


GUILFOYLE: You know what?

BOLLING: What is this?

BECKEL: Come on, bring it on.

Go ahead, Greg. What do you want to be on?

GUTFELD: I want to make a point before I tell you my favorite game show. I actually have an idea for my own game show called "Servitude," and it's where contestants compete for each other's services. There's no prize money; it's just indentured labor.

But anyway, my favorite game show is I don't have a name. I just want to go on anything from Japan. They have the best games shows ever. In this case, this is the marshmallow eating contest. It's a combination of torture, novelty and food, embarrassment.


GUTFELD: And it gets incredibly kinky. I don't understand what's going on or why, but it's leagues better than anything in America, because it takes humiliation plus comedy, and that equals awesome. They are so ahead of everyone else in game shows. Look at that.

GUILFOYLE: I don't understand. What is this?

PERINO: They take them very seriously.

BECKEL: Kim, what do you like?

GUILFOYLE: Well, I just told you.

BECKEL: What, it's "Family Feud"?

GUILFOYLE: You said you wanted to dominate me. It's "Family Feud."

BECKEL: OK, good. Can I say, I'd like to be on either -- is "The Bachelor" a game show? No.

PERINO: No, it's a reality show.

BECKEL: The one with Vanna White. That's what I...

PERINO: "Wheel of Fortune." I love "Wheel of Fortune." I love "Jeopardy." I love all new -- I wanted to meet Wayne Brady, who does "Let's Make a Deal" now.

BECKEL: They're -- they're closing out the liberal segment.

GUILFOYLE: And I like "Deal or No Deal." That was fun.

BECKEL: That was good, too.

GUILFOYLE: I had a baby in...

PERINO: Whammies, no whammies.

GUILFOYLE: Take the money. Take the money.

BECKEL: What was that show you got -- you picked a door, behind the door? Was that "The Price is Right"?

GUTFELD: Ay, yi, yi.

BECKEL: Greg, I don't follow these things.

GUTFELD: No. That's why we should get out of this segment.

PERINO: I love game shows, Bob.

BOLLING: I'll second the motion.



BECKEL: "One More Thing" is coming up.

GUILFOYLE: See you, Bob.


BOLLING: All right, time for One More Thing. K.G. is first.

GUILFOYLE: ok. So passing of a dear friend, someone who I have admired for years. Oscar de la Renta passed away at his home in Connecticut. He was an incredible fashion icon,. I was proud to wear his clothes and to know him. And we've got a couple pictures here because many of the first ladies also enjoyed wearing his beautiful designs. We've got a picture there, Hillary Clinton's gold leaf gown from her husband's second inauguration in 1997. And of course, Laura Bush looking beautiful in 2005 at her husband's second inaugural. There is Jessica Parker at the Met. Phenomenal gown. And most recently, he actually did the wedding gown for Clooney's bride, Amal. So there you go.

BOLLING: Very good. Greg, you're up.

GUTFELD: All right. It's time for...


GUTFELD: "Greg's Crime Corner."


GUTFELD: Hands in the air.

GUILFOYLE: Wow. It's like "T.J. Hooker."

GUTFELD: All right. The crime. A stolen kiss, Cleveland Cavaliers' Tristan Thompson kissed sideline reporter, FOX Sports reporter Allie Clifton. Here's the crime in question.


ALLIE CLIFTON, FOX SPORTS REPORTER: Pre-season, you're kind of moving back to that forward position tonight, but you said they're interchangeable. What's the approach?

TRISTAN THOMPSON, CLEVELAND CAVALIERS PLAYER: See ball, get ball, same approach. It's very simple. You know how I do it, Tina [SIC].

CLIFTON: All right, all right. OK.


GUTFELD: So anyway, he was later arrested. He's facing 17 years. No actually, Allie tweeted that it was an inside joke and not a big deal. However, when I do that on the bus, I get arrested.

BOLLING: It doesn't go over as well?

GUILFOYLE: Joe Namath did that to me.

GUTFELD: That's true. That's true.

BOLLING: We saw that.

GUTFELD: We had to quarantine you for a month.

GUILFOYLE: Twenty-one days.

BOLLING: So President O. cast his ballot in the state of Illinois yesterday. Watch how it started. Watch.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Mr. President, don't touch my girlfriend.

BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: I really wasn't planning on it.

There's an example of a brother just embarrassing me for no reason. Just for no reason whatsoever. You'll be going back home talking to your friends about this. I can't believe -- what's his name?


OBAMA: "I can't believe Mike, he is such a fool."


BOLLING: No one tells President O. what to do. Watch how it ended.


OBAMA: You're going to kiss me, give him something to talk about.


OBAMA: Now he's really jealous.



PERINO: That was cute.

BOLLING: That was very cute. Good job, President O.

All right. Bob, you're up.

BECKEL: All right. I want to say that today is the birthday of my political heroine, Kim Kardashian. I didn't get the age, so I guess 49, 50, maybe.

But Kimmy, here's the deal. You were going to run for mayor, and I put together this campaign for you. It said, "Because brains are overrated." Now, I've got to tell you, you're not nearly that way. I mean, anybody who can make money by selling her kids' pictures and her wedding pictures for millions of dollars to Keenan [SIC] West, he's -- North, whatever his name is.

GUILFOYLE: The baby's name is North.

BECKEL: Trading in on your family is a good deal. I mean, I'd do that, too, if I could, but nobody would want my picture.

GUILFOYLE: I think you have a crush on her, because you talk about her a lot.

BECKEL: No -- well, no. No, I don't. But happy birthday, Kim. How old is she? Does anybody know?

PERINO: You sound so sincere.

BECKEL: Forty-three?



BECKEL: OK, who's up?

BOLLING: I just want -- I'm loving this. You want to do more?

BECKEL: Hey, you want...

BOLLING: All right, Dana's up.

BECKEL: This is a good poster for plastic surgery.

PERINO: I am inaugurating "Dana's Pay it Forward" One More Thing.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, no, that was awful.

PERINO: OK. I'm promoting other people's stuff. Kimberly Guilfoyle will be on "The O'Reilly Factor" tonight. She's going to be on "Is It Legal?" You see it every Tuesday.

Bob is leading an AA meeting tonight. You cannot see that, but he is doing that tonight.

Eric, you can find him on Saturdays, 11:30 a.m., "Cashin' In," right here on FOX News Channel.

Greg hosts "Red Eye," and he's hosting it tonight. And you have a special guest you want to...

GUTFELD: Yes. President Obama's going to be stopping by. We're going to be just chatting. We go way back. It's going to be a pretty short interview. He's going to give me some golf tips, and it's going to be great. We're probably going to cook something. I have a really good cooking segment on "Red Eye." It's amazing. We just make souffles, casseroles -- yes.

PERINO: Definitely do not want to miss "Red Eye" tonight, so set your DVRs.

GUTFELD: It's going to be amazing.

BOLLING: What about you?

PERINO: Me, I will be on "FOX & Friends" at 8:15 in the morning. DVR.

BOLLING: There you go.

PERINO: Self-promotion, "One More Thing."

GUILFOYLE: Mornings are better with friends.

BOLLING: Set your DVR so you never miss an episode of "The Five." That's it for us. "Special Report" is next.

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