This is a rush transcript from "The Five," March 28, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

JESSE WATTERS, HOST: Hello, everybody. I'm Jesse Watters along with Jedediah Bila, Juan Williams, Dana Perino, and Greg. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is “The Five.”

In just hours from now, President Trump is set to take his first victory lap since the completion of the Mueller report, clearing him of collusion. He'll rally supporters in Michigan where we expect Mueller, Adam Schiff, and FISA abuses will all take center stage. Trump once again spiking the football about Mueller's findings before jumping on Air Force One.


DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: This was a terrible thing that was put onto our country. Nobody seen anything like this, probably never happened before. Beautiful conclusion. I haven't seen the reports. Beautiful conclusion. And there was no collusion at all. There never was. Everybody knew it. I wish it could have gone in one week instead of taking almost two years. But the result was great. No obstruction, no collusion.


WATTERS: And last night, the president said he's going to release FISA documents to help figure out how the Russia probe started. Trump also blasting Adam Schiff, saying he needs to resign for endlessly pushing the debunked collusion narrative for two years.

And all of the Republicans on the House Intelligence Committee, which Schiff chairs, are demanding that he step aside. It led to this dramatic confrontation on Capitol Hill.


REP. MIKE CONAWAY, R-TX: Your willingness to continue to promote a demonstrably false narrative is alarming. As such, we have no faith in your ability to discharge your duties in a manner consistent with constitutional responsibility and urge your immediate resignation as chairman of the committee.

REP. ADAM SCHIFF, D-CALIF.: My colleagues may think it's OK that the Russians offered dirt on a Democratic candidate for president as part of what was described as the Russian government's effort to help the Trump campaign.

You might think that's OK. I think it's immoral. I think it's unethical. I think it's unpatriotic. And yes, I think it's corrupt and evidence of collusion.


WATTERS: Oh, OK. Well, before we get to that, Greg, I heard you have the drinks lined up for the 7 PM Michigan rally tonight with President Trump, and you can't wait.

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: You know this isn't going to be a victory lap. It's going to be a victory marathon. It's amazing. He does deserve it. I mean, it's been two years. I feel bad for the audiences of CNN and MSNBC. What are they doing now? They're certainly not watching those networks. They're the other victims, those audiences because they were fed or sold the journalistic equivalent of swampland.

You know, they thought they were getting a condo and they've got swamp land. And now they have PCD which is post-collusion depression. The only cure is to turn the channel and watch Fox News and join the winners. But you can't forget how much this phony narrative could have damaged the country.

This wasn't just a rumor. It was a pretty provocative charge that the president is a Russian plant. I mean, that could lead to an actual like warlike conflict. And not just for the country but for my personal life, being married to a Russian. This was making my life hell.

WATTERS: You have enough problems.

GUTFELD: I have enough -- I don't need -- this thing is like every day. It's something -- and Michael Schiff --


GUTFELD: Adam Schiff being the head of the intelligence committee, that's like Michael Moore being the head of Weight Watchers.

WATTERS: Ouch. Double whammy. All right, Dana, advice for the president as he goes out on this victory tour? And this is kind of a big deal in the House Intelligence Committee, has this ever happened before?

PERINO: Well, I don't know if it's ever happened before, but I do know that the intelligence committee for a long time, kind of never heard about it. Like there was never any partisan strike by either side. But in the last -- even going back into the Obama years I think it sort of got that way.

And to have all nine Republicans sign a letter together, including members like Will Hurd and Elise Stefanik unanimously saying you ought to step down from your position. He's not going to step down. But, anyway, that was a show of unity on the Republican side.

I think this is very politically astute for President Trump to get out of Washington, because only in Washington are people talking about Russia and the Mueller investigation. Like out in the country, they want to hear what he has to say, what's he's going to do. And he's going to a place where, when it comes to reelection, he's underwater right now. He's got some work to do to try to shore things up in Michigan.

And, of course, he wants to win it again. Before he was talking about all the other things when he left this afternoon, he was talking about the economy, all the jobs that are coming back. So, if I were those guys, I would try to get the president out of Washington, D.C. as much as possible, and not just to Mar-a-Lago.

Go see America. The presidency goes by really fast. America is awesome. And I think that people want to see him.

GUTFELD: Nationalist.


WATTERS: OK. So, maybe go -- where would you go if you were the president and you wanted to spike the football, and besides Mar-a-Lago, obviously, and David Greg golf course? You would go somewhere else besides Palm Beach, where would you go?

JEDEDIAH BILA, HOST: I mean, honestly, I think his message gets everywhere spontaneously because he's the guy who tweets, because he's the guy that responds that way. I mean, I would focus on this for a minute. I would -- you've got to do your victory lap, right? There's no collusion. You have to stress that.

But I would also not -- I would give it away at some point and also talk about jobs and talk about what all the people across the country are really craving because there were so many people who are watching this go down that initially were like, all right, let's let the investigation play out, let's see what they have.

And then at some point we're like, OK, this is a witch hunt. This has gone completely off the rails. So I think he's going to need a little bit of time just to say I told you so.


BILA: There was no collusion. And, you know -- look, I don't know who at this point is listening to Adam Schiff and saying that's my guy. You know this guy is outrageous really what he did. Chair of the intel committee out on television trying to imply for a really long time that he had access to information that suggested, no, no, it's collusion.

I don't know how this guy is not embarrassed. Forget about resigning. He should be bowing his head in shame everywhere. So I think that Trump, yes, you make a victory lap, but people know now, people really, really know and there's very, very few people who are -- in the unhinged camp, even on the left.

So say what you have to say and then pivot onto what your plan is going to be for 2020 and how you're going to make this country even better than it is right now.

WATTERS: Right. So, Juan, very clear winners and losers after the Mueller report. And Schiff is a loser, obviously. And instead of like -- you know, you've got to know when hold them -- know to fold them -- he should just fold and move on.

But he keeps doubling down and saying he has evidence there was collusion. Even the members of his own committee saying, yeah, we did a whole investigation on this. You've been out there saying there's no -- there's collusion. We've seen it. There's none.

JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: Well, I tell you, strong and wrong and long. That's you. You don't stop. I mean, in fact, you know I was looking at polls today. You know, CBS poll, 60 percent of Americans saying it's too early to say if the president's been cleared. CNN have say, hey, Mueller just couldn't prove it, doesn't mean it didn't happen. That's America.

BILA: Come on, Juan.

WILLIAMS: I'm just telling you -- I know you guys don't want to hear the truth. But here's the thing, I don't even think the president is very good at victory laps even if he wants to have a victory lap. The whole business about taking apart the Affordable Care Act has got Republicans in a tizzy right now in Washington.

You want to talk about jobs and the economy. We saw commerce numbers out today. They push the numbers down in terms of GDP for the last quarter, 3 percent growth. Mr. President, doesn't look like it to me.

And then, of course, he have to go back and say, oh, we're not going to take away money from Special Olympics because that was so awful and toxic. You had Republicans, Roy Blunt of Missouri, the senator saying this is deplorable. So, oh, my God, this is Trump on a victory lap? This is Trump sinking further into the mock.

WATTERS: Well, I don't think he's sinking down. I think you'll see the poll numbers, Juan, as you like to cite, will pop big time after this –

WILLIAMS: They haven't popped yet --


WATTERS: They haven't even polled.

WILLIAMS: Yes, they have.

WATTERS: They've been snap poll after the Mueller report came out?

WILLIAMS: Not yet. But there were polls done after the Mueller report came out and they showed no -- people just aren't shifting their opinions - -

PERINO: But I think it's too soon.

WILLIAMS: And don't forget, we haven't seen the Mueller report.

WATTERS: OK, Juan. I honestly urge you to just give it some time and you'll see the numbers bounce.

BILA: If you see the Mueller report and it comes out and it absolutely also says there's no collusion, there's no obstruction, would that satisfy Democrats?

WILLIAMS: I'm dying for it, Jedediah. I mean --

BILA: We'll see.

WILLIAMS: -- yesterday on Hannity the president saying, oh, yeah, I'm going to put out a visor -- haven't done it before. Let's see -- if that's what you think is appropriate, put it out. How about pardons? He's not talking about pardoning people. Wow.

WATTERS: I think we should pardon you because you've committed a lot of crimes. A lot of crimes. Crimes against the truth. A major bombshell from Cook County state's attorney, Kim Foxx, what she's saying about Jussie Smollett today.


BILA: Just when you thought the Jussie Smollett saga couldn't get any worse, controversial Cook County state's attorney Kim Foxx is speaking out and defending the decision not to prosecute Smollett. But despite dropping all the charges against him, she made this bombshell admission.


KIM FOXX, COOK COUNTY STATE ATTORNEY: The dropping of the charges in no way exonerates Mr. Smollett. He was afforded an opportunity that we have under our alternative prosecutions unit that in exchange for the community service and his bond forfeiture, the case would be dropped.

And so, this was in exchange for that forfeiture because we do believe, in fact, that we would be able to prove he's guilty of the charges that he was charged with.

I believe in this case, justice was appropriate.


BILA: Well, Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel is still furious, saying he's going to send Smollett a bill for the cost of the investigation.


RAHM EMANUEL, D-CHICAGO MAYOR: The police are assembling the cost. They'll do that. And then the corporation counselor -- city of Chicago will communicate to Jussie Smollett and his legal team about recouping that cost in that effort. And given that he doesn't feel any sense of contrition and remorse, my recommendation is when he writes the check, in the memo section, he can put the word I'm accountable for the hoax.


BILA: Wow. All these new revelations are leading to a lot more questions than answers. President Trump announced this morning that the DOJ and the FBI will be reviewing the case.

So, Greg, I'm a little confused about something here. If everybody thought he was guilty, now you have Foxx coming out and saying this is not an exoneration. You have the prosecutor that she handed it over to -- saying this is not an exoneration. Why is there no guilty plea here? And why is this guy able to go out and tell everybody he's innocent and get away with it?

GUTFELD: Because they made a deal. He has a very powerful friend somewhere. It's amazing, Smollett is guilty but he's also right. They made a deal and they're reneging on the deal, aren't they? I mean, aren't they -- didn't they make some secret deal where they were just going to walk away? But now they realize that they can't walk away because everybody is laughing at them.

And now he's like -- so you can't do that, we made a deal. I want to know, will all of us have the alternative prosecution option when we get arrested? Like will it come out with a menu and you can say guilty, not guilty, guilty with options. Justice --

PERINO: Here's ten grand.

GUTFELD: Yeah. Justice is like flying the friendly skies now. There's first class and there's coach. And we know who gets to fly first class. People like Jussie Smollett.

BILA: You know, interesting part of this, Dana, was the recusal because, originally --


BILA: -- Foxx said, oh, you know, I recuse myself. And now she's saying, oh, I didn't do it legally. Her spokesman is saying it was colloquial because if she recused herself, the whole office would have had to recuse themselves.

PERINO: In addition to that, she said publicly that she -- let it be known that she was recusing herself. But then we find out she actually made the call that was requested by Tina Tchen, who used to work for Michelle Obama, and she said I'll look into it. And they were like great. That would be a huge victory if you get it to go to the FBI.

And then she says she recused. But she had already made the move. So, to me, that is not -- that's a big problem. And the bigger story I believe is that when she was running for office with one of her noble goals was to try to restore trust between the public and the police because we know in Chicago that that's been a problem.

And I think what ended up happening here is that she's made it worse. So, I don't know where it goes from here, but I think that Rahm Emanuel is likely to win.

BILA: Now, Kim Foxx's office, Jesse, circulated this internal memo. Can we pull out that memo so we can show people? We have full screen of it. The memo says we are looking for examples of cases, felony preferable, where we are, and exercising our discretion, have entered into verbal agreements with defense attorneys to dismiss charges against an offender if certain conditions were met.

And it carries on. It's little fun -- but essentially she was looking for cases where, hey, everyone, help me out here. There are other cases where this kind of thing has happened and this kind of judgment has been made? Obviously, because there's huge public backlash and everybody realizes, you know, there's something wrong.

Even Kamala Harris is like, ah, I don't know. Doesn't this strike you as unbelievable now that this has leaked?

WATTERS: She's at the microphone telling the press we do this all the time, and then going back and saying, hey, guys, we do this all the time ,right? Send me some examples when we do this. This is what's happening. There's two hoaxes going on. There's the Russia hoax and the Smollett hoax. Both hoaxes have been exposed as fraudulent.

Yet, the hoaxers, caught red handed, are denying that they've been caught red handed and acting like everything else is normal. And the rest of the country is looking at them like, are you guys crazy? What the hell are you saying?

Now, Smollett's attorney went out and said -- and she used the white faced defense, very novel. She said the Nigerians were wearing white face --

BILA: We actually have sound of that.

WATTERS: Do we have sound of that? Let's listen to that.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Took me all of 5 minutes to Google. You know, I was looking up the brothers and one of the first videos that showed up actually was one of the brothers in white faced doing the joker monologue with white makeup on. So it's not -- it's not implausible.


WATTERS: Not implausible, also not possible. So, he also have her other excuse, the reason she's texting the Nigerians is because the Nigerians were giving him advice on health and diet. And the Nigerians told Smollett, hey, it's 2 AM, go out to a polar vortex and eat some eggs. That's why he was out. And he got his eggs at Subway, right, Juan?

Also -- so Foxx also says -- Foxx also says I didn't cut a sweetheart deal. It was alternative prosecution. So now, Hillary is going around (ph) saying she's the alternative president. That's how crazy this is. They have this woman -- I think the Chicago Sun-Times' editorial director had a great line, she said Chicago is like a big city that's run like a small town where politics and clout operate basic day-to-day decisions.

So you have Michelle Obama calling in favors. You have Preckwinkle --

PERINO: She didn't call --

WATTERS: Well, her people. You have Preckwinkle who's the machine boss in Chicago. She's been endorsed by all of the Obama people. It stinks.

BILA: Now, Juan, Rahm Emanuel, obviously, wants money from this guy because of all the resources that were spent in Chicago. Now you have the feds potentially getting involved, the DOJ, the FBI. How is this going to wind up? Is this guy going to give money to the city? Is he going to be investigated further? And we know he's going to be investigated further by the FBI. But could he wind up potentially in jail anyway?

WILLIAMS: No. I mean, the only possibility there would be if the FBI investigating that letter found that, in fact, that it was a fraud. And therefore he would have been -- have broken a federal law so they could do something. But, basically, Trump is just grandstanding on an issue. I think he feels plays to his base. Oh, you know, this --

WATTERS: He was asked about it, Juan.

WILLIAMS: No, but he says --

WATTERS: He didn't bring it up.

WILLIAMS: -- he wants to get the Justice Department involved. Normally, conservatives would say, hey, this is none of the federal government's business.


WATTERS: Sixty million Trump supporters, Juan.

WILLIAMS: Let me just say, if that's what you're about, you're not about justice because if this was about justice and this case and not your politics --

WATTERS: Can it be about both?

WILLIAMS: No, because in this case we are not a nation of mobs. We're not a nation of tribes. We're a nation of laws.

BILA: The prosecutor saying he's guilty --

WILLIAMS: No, hang on. And the law -- the prosecutor dropped the case. The prosecutor of their own volition said we're not going forward with this case. Once that's done, then you have, as Greg was pointing out earlier, a guy who says we have a deal here, fine. And I'm going to say what I want to say. And then the brothers shut up.

Meanwhile, the police chief who stuck himself out on a limb by trying to prosecute the case, the media, he's out on the limb. He gets the mayor to back him up. The mayor is trying to paper over so many things. To me this is a mess.

But you guys are wrong if you think that somehow Jussie Smollett is the problem here. The problem here --

WATTERS: Wait, Jussie Smollett started the hoax, Juan.

WILLIAMS: I don't know that one. You don't know that.

GUTFELD: I think we do know that.

BILA: We know and the prosecutor knows it, Juan.

WILLIAMS: Oh, you want to know it. I mean, again, this is mob behavior because if you have a case prosecutor, go for it.

BILA: Not going to be the end. All right. Well, hundred of cases of measles are popping up around the country, reigniting the vaccination debate. We're going to tackle it next right here on THE FIVE.


WILLIAMS: The vaccination debate reigniting yet again. Six states across the country now dealing with a massive measles outbreak after parents made the choice not to vaccinate their children for the disease. In 2000, everyone thought measles had been eliminated in the USA, but this year alone we've already seen over 300 cases nationwide.

Some local officials now going to extreme lengths to protect children, in Rockland County, just outside New York City, kids under age 18 are now banned from public places if they have not been vaccinated. This measles outbreak is just one example that's stirring up vaccination controversy.

Just a couple of weeks ago, Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin revealed he expose his nine children intentionally to chicken pox instead of vaccinating them. And Arizona police were reportedly called to the home of an unvaccinated toddler who had a temperature of 105 after his parents refused to bring him to the hospital. Here's the dramatic scene caught on tape.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Please come out with your hands up.


WILLIAMS: Wow. I just think this is wrongheaded. I'm pretty strong on this one. I just think it's immoral not to vaccinate your own child, but certainly to put the rest of us at risk. Dana?

PERINO: Well, it's definitely a problem. And it seems -- I don't know whether it's a growing problem or one we are just more aware of because now we have ways of getting information all across the country. It's not just happening in -- we knew about the measles outbreak in Seattle.

But in Rockland County here in New York, Arizona, so it's everywhere. The dramatic scene about the government deciding to go in and help the child because the parents decided not to take him to the hospital, that obviously conjures up a lot of concern for people who want to be responsible for themselves and for their children and they don't want the government to be involved.

Separately, I do think that anybody who cares about children and -- this is the thing, we all care about children. And the parents who don't vaccinate their children, they're doing so because they care about their children. That's the decision that they're making.

So I would say that we have to figure out a way to get better information easily digested to people that -- for example, if you do not get the measles vaccine, you're more likely to have your child die. I mean, it has to be that stark. And also -- for example, one of the questions being -- do vaccines cause autism? The science is now showing that autistic traits are being developed in the womb, way before any child would get vaccinated.

What is the science that we can do to help prevent autism? Let's focus there rather than on the vaccines because it does seem like a much bigger problem. And now people can't even go out of their house in Rockland County for 30 days.

WILLIAMS: So, Jedediah, Dana makes the case and I think this is what a lot of the proponents like Matt Bevin, the governor of Kentucky, would say, hey, you know, I'm looking out for my kid. This is what I think is best for my child.

My problem with that is, so you're going to put the rest of the state or in Kentucky at risk and promote these rapid now growth of measles outbreaks?

BILA: Well, just that is, it doesn't just affect your child. It affects others. This came up in schools a lot when I used to teach. A lot of the issue is that a lot of parents who are anti-vaccine have an issue with the bundling of vaccines and the way their administrative.

So there's a lot of people that will say, you know what, I support vaccination but I don't want my 2-year-old to get so many -- we need to space these out more because I'm worried about the implication of not only being exposed to some of these viral, but also some of the chemicals that are in -- these are infants. They're very small.

So, I think you have -- there's a lot of gray matter here because you're dealing with parental rights. You're dealing with parents who want to have a say. And you're dealing with a public that also gets concerned that if there are mandates for certain vaccines, will it wind up than being a mandate for the flu shot?

I don't get a flu shot. I don't respond well to it. It does not do my body well. I would not want a mandate. I would not want to do that to myself. And I want to maintain the right to not get that flu shot. I choose to eat healthy and exercise and hope that my body will just not get the flu.

So, you have to figure out. I don't have the answer to this, but you have to figure out where the line is drawn. What should be mandated. Where there is flexibility and you have to give the parents some say that if they want their infant to say space - they want their vaccine spaced out, that's something where I think there is some common ground that could be found where doctors can say OK you know what instead of getting a bundle of vaccines, let's have this go on over a period of two years so you feel a little bit more secure in the baby's immune system being able to handle it.

WILLIAMS: Well, Jesse, it says here that public health experts say that if you get the MMR vaccine, which is measles, mumps, rubella.

BILA: Yes.

WILLIAMS: That would also protect against chicken pox, so I guess you wouldn't directly have to take the chicken pox. Is that some common ground here, because to tell you the truth, I don't understand it. I think in terms of public health everybody should be vaccinated.

WATTERS: Yes. Don't give me mumps. Don't give my family mumps. I'll sue you for criminal negligence and it's - you have the freedom to be stupid and people are being stupid. I have a theory. This is called back to the futurism. OK. Some people in this country, both parties think that sometimes doing things backwards actually moves them forwards.

For instance, they delete their social media. That's fine. Natural childbirth. That's fine. Biking to work harmless. But when you go back and that can now negatively affect other people for instance not vaccinating, not getting your dog spayed or neutered. The Green New Deal, they think that's futuristic that's actually backwards by eliminating air travel.

Permission to make an analogy, Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes, Jesse.

WATTERS: You can ride your horse in the fields, but don't you dare ride your horse on a highway. OK. This is backwards and it's going to cause massive casualties on the freeway. That is the problem. These people are going backwards and it's making people die.

PERINO: You should ask permission to use a good analysis.

GUTFELD: I don't know if you said is it worse now, it is worse now because there are these myths. But now you have social media which spreads the myths. So, you have a widely discredited study by Andrew Wakefield, which made the link to autism. He lost his medical license over this, but people will still tweet at you with that study.

The thing about bundling is a myth. I mean a baby is incredibly resilient. There is a research out there that with the 14 vaccinations that only affects like 0.1 percent of the immune capacity of the baby. But people still worry, oh! my God the baby is so small.

BILA: Right.

GUTFELD: You would be surprised how strong the immune system is. There is research out there. The problem is the experts who advise routine vaccinations are dispassionate. The people who are anti-vaccine are passionate, because you're dealing with a lot of fear, you're dealing with needles, and babies and it has a visual aspect to it.

The entire anti-vaccine movement is kind of intense and we need to learn how to counter the intensity with persuasive like what you said about the - your baby will have a greater chance of dying from measles. That's full stop. We'll die if you have this. And you have to be also taken - you have to listen to the anti-vaccine movement, but as you like I never hear this argument about people's pets getting their dogs vaccinated. I don't think people would think twice.

BILA: I do. I've heard it about that. I think you have to be compassionate though also because you know when you look at some of the ingredients in a vaccine, it can be scary. You see formaldehyde. People don't realize there is formaldehyde. I just bought an organic--

GUTFELD: Do you know--

BILA: in wood.


BILA: So, you have to talk to people and say, listen, I understand why you're worried, but these things it's minimal exposures, it's not going to impact the baby's health.

WILLIAMS: Greg, you are making the point, you think that social media maybe is at the root and that's where this is--

GUTFELD: I think bad ideas and questionable ideas and you know what social media does. You might be the one person in your community that has an unusual idea and then you find out there is 500 of you in United States and then you hook. You're right about the - you know what creates more formaldehyde than vaccines, your body creates more formaldehyde.

BILA: On an apple.

WATTERS: Dana, I thought my horse analogy was dead on. I don't think you got it.

GUTFELD: Whoa. She grew up on a ranch.

WILLIAMS: Take it easy.

GUTFELD: She has been kicked in the head by horse.

WILLIAMS: Hey, I can only protect you for so long. Should take you out buddy. All right.

PERINO: I deserve this.

WILLIAMS: Joe Biden continues to apologize for his political record. But does he have to. The latest polls and developments from the 2020 campaign trail. That's ahead on “The Five.”


PERINO: Rumors are swirling. I'm sorry. There's a guy outside. Hi everybody. I'm sorry. I just had a situation. All right. Rumors are swirling that Joe Biden is going to enter the presidential race with the latest saying it will happen in mid-April. And this in the past few months, it appears all he's been doing is apologizing for his record. Watch.


JOE BIDEN, FORMER VICE PRESIDENT: I haven't always been right. I know we haven't always gotten things right. But I've always tried. I get in trouble, I read in New York Times today that one of my problems is if I were to run for President, I like Republicans. OK, well, bless me Father if I have sinned. She was abused through the hearings. She's taken advantage of. Her reputation was attacked. There are a bunch of white guys. No, I mean sincerely a bunch of white guys hearing this testimony in the Senate Judiciary Committee, I public apologize to Anita because she didn't get the hearings she deserved.


PERINO: But does Biden even have to do that according to the latest Quinnipiac poll, he is leading the 2020 Democratic field by double digits topping Bernie Sanders and Beto O'Rourke. So, does this prove that Democrats outside of Twitter and the blogs really do want Biden to run on his record. Of course, not everybody sees it that way. Here's what one political analyst is saying about Biden after his comments on changing white man's culture in the me-too era.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I have an idea for how he can change it. Don't run. Come out and support a woman. There is six women in the race. Four female Senators. If you want to change it that's a way to change it.


PERINO: What do you think about that Jedediah.

BILA: That's outrageous.

PERINO: So, she's like just don't run.

BILA: He can't run now because he's a white guy even though he has a long record, it's impressive. He's in the lead. He's got to step back and somehow because he endorses a woman that makes him what and she's so ridiculous. Look, I don't know if this is Joe Biden's moment. I'm a little worried about seeing him on stage contort and twist to try to fit in with the rest of the group. I was hoping he would come in and he would be measured, and he would be a good listener and he would want to bring both sides together and he would be the balance on the stage.

But it looks like he's going to get up there and he's going to want to apologize for his entire record, which is very large and he's going to want to try to fit in every question they ask him. He's going to feel like he gives the answer that the base wants, you know whatever that is if it's you know let me give the politically correct answer.

Let me apologize for my record on criminal justice reform. Let me apologize for - let me fit into the Me-Too movement. It's like he's trying to fit into every trendy movement when the bottom-line is maybe he's polling so high because he's not like any of the rest of the candidates.

PERINO: Juan, do you think that he's doing some of this apologizing because they focus group did or poll did, and they know that he needs to in the lead up to something like or is he just doing this because he wants to?

WILLIAMS: I think it's the first that in fact when he goes out to talk to donors, the donors are saying we're not sure about backing you because we're not sure you can survive in this primary process. And you've got to prove that you can. Now let me just say, I think the big news today is this latest poll that has him up by 10 points over anybody else in the Democratic field, 10 points. Sanders is in second with 19. Then you get to O'Rourke with 12. Kamala Harris with 8.

PERINO: And our man Mayor Pete.

WILLIAMS: That's the big news here is that Pete is moving up fast and strong and gaining a lot of media attention. I think is going to further bolster his numbers in future polls.

PERINO: In fact, Greg, Mayor Pete is taking some wind out of the sails of Beto O'Rourke.

GUTFELD: You know what, I just - it's always charming to go after somebody because they move from 1 percent to 2 percent. I don't really. I don't pay attention to that. I am here to say that Joan Walsh is right.

BILA: No way.

GUTFELD: Because you can't go up there and be a social justice warrior and not obey the social justice warrior cannon. This is your party. You've got to live with it. It's all about intersectionality now. There is a contradiction though which is really funny. In identity politics, it's about intersectionality. What you are. It's not about your character. It's about the color of your skin, your gender. But it's also about being identity fluid like you can self-identify, which is really cool.

So, Biden can get around all of this by pulling a Rachel Dolezal and self- identify as a young black woman and say that I may look like - the oldest whitest male on the planet, but inside I am a young black woman screaming to get out.

WATTERS: Didn't Liz Warren try that?

GUTFELD: Yes, she did. It almost worked.

WILLIAMS: You know what the number one issue for Democrats is not intersectional. I know the Republican Party has issue with this, because it's almost all white.

PERINO: Likability.

WILLIAMS: But I do think that the number one issue is beating Trump.

PERINO: Yes, so likability.

WILLIAMS: So, that's why when people look at Biden, they say hey, you're the guy that can beat Trump. That's why his numbers are so--

PERINO: We've got to get Jesse in here.

WATTERS: The Democratic field is so weak. How weak is it?

PERINO: How weak is it?

WATTERS: The Democratic field is so weak.

PERINO: How weak is it?

WATTERS: That Biden is leading by 10 points. Think about it--

GUTFELD: He's like a horse.

WATTERS: And listen, he should be leading by 30 because he's running against a socialist, a fake Indian and a guy who eats dirt. All right. What else do you want?

WILLIAMS: How about a guy that pays off porn stars--

PERINO: Well, I know what we want to do. We want you to stay right there because Wild Card Wednesday on a Thursday is next.


GUTFELD: We don't have a lot of time. So, let's get to it. You know the drill. We pick stories and we answer them, stories that we chose. OK, here we go. Let's get this one, paper clip off. Someone's going to have to pick that up later. All right. Ohio news crew introduce stories entirely. Oh! I love this story.

WATTERS: This is good.

GUTFELD: Teen slang.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Stay woke, beyond fleek and get that Gucci breakfast.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Goals. Say bye Felicia to that testing stress whether it's going to be turned. Right, Chris.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes. Toledo weather going to be lit during testing week, Hundo P chance of success. You've got this, kids.


GUTFELD: Should we just not do any other stories. Because that is amazing.

PERINO: That was my story. So, it's Toledo Public Schools are having their standardized test this week, so the local station said, OK, well we'll help them out a little bit. And they did this just for their Facebook page and they pulled it down. But you know what, it went viral and I'm so glad. It's so cute.

GUTFELD: What's not cute.

WILLIAMS: OK. So, educate the old guy. What was that Gucci reference?

PERINO: I don't know. They well be on Gucci breakfast, I guess that means going to a good breakfast.

GUTFELD: But you're pointing out the difference between us and them. We don't know, but we would never pretend to know.

WILLIAMS: But yet you're all laughing like we're in on the joke. In fact, we are the joke. We don't know what the guy was saying.

PERINO: It comes from the 20 most annoying slang terms. Gucci is one Fleek another, stussy, I don't even know what that refers.

GUTFELD: Do you know what - we won't go to that.

WILLIAMS: That's why I say the joke is on us.

PERINO: Snack trail. I don't know.

GUTFELD: All right. Time for another one.

PERINO: Did I say something bad?

GUTFELD: You might have. OK. NASA will pay people $19,000 to stay in bed for two months. Who picked this one?


GUTFELD: Go, Juan.

WILLIAMS: You know I like to stay in bed.

GUTFELD: I wouldn't know personally.

WILLIAMS: Yes, but you get to stay in bed for two months so they can test the effects of space on the human body and stuff.

PERINO: I would not do this.

WILLIAMS: But how can you do that. How can you stay in bed?

PERINO: I can do it. Think of all the things you could do. There is a lot of things you could do in bed other than sleep. You keep your mind out of the gutter

WILLIAMS: You can't do that.

WATTERS: Is it before or after taxes. That's important.


WATTERS: You have to pay taxes on the 19th, then this is not as much as you think. But if you don't--

BILA: Only you.

WATTERS: After taxes that's like $40,000 for two months.

GUTFELD: Let's do a little right-wing humor. So, they're paying people to stay in bed for $19,000. I call that welfare. We'll be right back. Do I have chance for one more? Time for one more?

PERINO: You don't have to spin it every time.

GUTFELD: I like spinning it.

BILA: That's the fun part.

GUTFELD: OK. Here we go. God, I hope this is mine. Yes, Sex and the City returning with a follow-up series in which it's called, Is There Still Sex and the City. And it looks like it'll be Sex Dating and Friendship looks like after 50. Aren't you guys excited?

PERINO: That's like right up my alley.

BILA: Kim Cattrall didn't want to do this.

GUTFELD: Oh! I know but that's so Samantha. Are you a Miranda?

WILLIAMS: Is this set in the villages.

GUTFELD: Instead of the village, it's the villages. There you go. Jesse you're going to--

WATTERS: I don't know why you like that show. I don't get it.

GUTFELD: I don't know maybe because I like Miranda Hobbs or Carrie Bradshaw.

WATTERS: Actually, in fairness Sex and the City, they pretended like it's not cool.

GUTFELD: Yes, it's just fun--

PERINO: It's a great show.

GUTFELD: Yes, it was terrible.

PERINO: No, it wasn't, it was great.

GUTFELD: It was terrible.

PERINO: No, it was fun.

GUTFELD: Sexist. All right. One More Thing is up next.


WATTERS: It's time now for One More Thing. The city of St. Louis took a huge beating this week because one of the residents there, Alec Croutman (ph) sent this tweet. Listen to this. Today, I introduced my co-workers to the St. Louis secret of ordering bagels bread sliced. It was a hit. So, the guy puts out bagels and slices them like bread. OK, now some people thought this was crazy. They sent some pictures of St. Louis style cereal or St. Louis style pizza. Or a St. Louis style hot dog.

BILA: That's one.

WATTERS: So, there we go, we have some St. Louis style bread sliced bagels right there and I'm going to eat them after the show.

PERINO: Is that because it's easier to like just to have a little bit.

WATTERS: No one knows why. Well maybe that's actually the most sense I've ever heard.

PERINO: I think we eat more though because you're like oh! it's just a small piece and you eat like 30 of those and you've eaten like three bagels.

WATTERS: Yes. We should have done this for Wild Card.

GUTFELD: All right. Time for this. Greg's Creature from The Black Lagoon news. All right. This is at the confirmation hearing of Interior Secretary nominee David Bernhardt. Look who shows up as he's talking, answering a question with none other than the creature from the Black Lagoon. If you're a fan of the movie, you must be over the moon right now, because there he is enjoying the testimony apparently, I believe this might have been a Greenpeace protester. Fantastic. By the way, do you know the creatures favorite Motley Crue song, gills, gills, gills.

PERINO: Very good.

BILA: Well done.

GUTFELD: Thank you. We'll be right back.

PERINO: A thing about David Bernhardt, he was when I first started on Capitol Hill in 1995, he was the legislative director for that office.

GUTFELD: Well, what's the funny part.

PERINO: Look at him now. Small world things are funny.

WATTERS: Dana, you're up.

PERINO: All right. A 19-year-old University of West Georgia student Joshua Carraway, you're going to love this guy. So, remember we showed you spring break and how there was all the brawling and all the mess. This guy instead tiptoed to the beach and he helped clean up the remnants of it. He said, this is unacceptable. We shouldn't leave it behind like this. And one Miami Beach police officer took notice and commended him for it. He even asked friends if they wanted to help and they said no, we're good. But he continued to help clean, so Josh Carraway, thank you so much for leading this effort. You've got other people to do it even if you're fellow students wouldn't help you.

WATTERS: Wow. He did that on spring break.

GUTFELD: Yes, Jesse.

WATTERS: Good for him. Juan.

WILLIAMS: Take me out to the ballgame. Today is opening day for Major League Baseball. There were afternoon games across the country, pretty good weather for early spring. Last year, it snowed here in New York on Opening Day. At Yankee Stadium today, it looked like a lot of business folks played hooky since there was a sellout crowd back in D.C. My favorite team, the national stole the spotlight from the cherry blossoms for a time they played the Mets and they lost.

My wife and son took my seats as they rooted for the home team. I can't wait to get some of those peanuts and Cracker Jacks, and I keep the faith going that, we're going all the way this year.

WATTERS: Bryce Harper had a big one, didn't he?

WILLIAMS: I don't think - Bryce Harper plays for the Phillies.

WATTERS: I know but he did. You guys trade him to us, and he went long Juan. All right. Just like you.

GUTFELD: Talk about Sex and the City.

BILA: As someone who has been lifted into the air holding an umbrella on a windy day. I empathize with this story. Check this out. This guy in Turkey. It's a windy day obviously. That's a patio umbrella. He goes and they're trying to secure it and check out what happens.

WATTERS: No way.

BILA: Now usually I just barely get off the round, this guy got 13 feet in the air. Amazing. He wound up being OK. Another guy was lifted 10 feet, I don't know this says, 10 feet into the air, stepped on the base but they were able to jump off. They walked away unharmed but that had to be terrifying as far as I can see. I mean I don't know - right away. I would have jumped.

GUTFELD: I like the lower third gone with the wind.

BILA: Because I'd be afraid, it was just going to take it.

GUTFELD: I would have taken hours to come up with that one.

WILLIAMS: Yes. This is a good weekend for kite flying.


WILLIAMS: Have you thought about that. It’s great weather late March. Go fly kite.

PERINO: Juan, why don't you go flying kite.

WATTERS: Juan, you are not afraid of that one.

WILLIAMS: No. But that's insane.

WATTERS: Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of “The Five.” "Special Report" is up next with Bret.

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