Miller Time: Controversial Muslim conference

Comedian on a Muslim conference, the Miami Dolphins, and turning 60

This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," November 6, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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O'REILLY: Thanks for staying with us, I'm Bill O'Reilly. In the Miller Time segment tonight, we begin with a very strange story out of Oslo, Norway. A conference sponsored by an Islamic organization was supposed to highlight, highlight moderate Muslims. Take a look at what happened.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: How many of you agree that the punishment described in the Koran and the Sunna, whether it is death, whether it is stoning for adultery, whatever it is, if it is from Allah and his messenger, that is the best punishment ever possible for humankind? And that is what we should apply in the world? Who agrees with that?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

O'REILLY: Just to be clear, they are supposed to be moderate Muslims, and they all agree that you should kill people who commit adultery.

Joining us now from Santa Barbara, the sage of Southern California, Dennis Miller. So if that were the law of the world a lot of people in California would be in big trouble, and France as well.

DENNIS MILLER, COMEDIAN: One second, Billy. Got an incoming news story. Recount in Virginia, Mark Obenshain lost by 4 million votes.

(LAUGHTER)

MILLER: Sebelius, time to go back to being Batman's butler, baby, you are going to wear yourself brunette if you stay in there.

Let's see, I'm just glad you asked me to speak about something like systemic problems in Islam. I thought you were going to ask me to do something dangerous like speak out against Obamacare. If I was these guys, I would stay in Norway, all right? Because that's the high minors, man. You go over to Akaba (ph) or whatever the hell where they are playing major league ball, these kids are pikers. But you get the feeling there they show you a true glimpse, my man with a Marvin Gaye hat, they let you know this is what happens. This is probably why they don't get miked up inside the mosque.

(CROSSTALK)

O'REILLY: The Muslim world is benign and it's just the crazy people, the jihadists, and then you look at these people and they look kind of normal, I mean, and then they want to stone people to death for committing- -

MILLER: You saw the time delay there, Billy, between the time he asked the question and they put their hands up. It was like four centuries behind in lag time.

You know, I don't know what to say. To me, it looks like a Tony Robbins thing with beards and grudges. I think there is a little more there than they would let on as far as treating women in an odd way. I don't like how they screwed up Cat Stephens. Time to get it together over there. I don't know what to tell you, pull it together.

O'REILLY: Absolutely is time for the secular Muslims to kind of--

MILLER: Yes. There is the Margaret Dumont (ph) Muslims and the Groucho Muslims, and the Margaret Dumont Muslims are out of hand. They have to tell the Groucho Muslims that they're incorrigible. Get it together. Come on, guys.

O'REILLY: As Miller is one of the big experts on National Football League because he was Monday Night Football guy for a couple of years, this is a disturbing story down in Miami. How do you see it?

MILLER: I can't believe you are disturbed by it, really?

O'REILLY: I am. Because you know what, when you saw that tape of the guy in the pool room with -- ranting and raving, this looks like roid rage to me. This isn't funny. I don't think -- he might be drunk. But this looks like if you got in this guy's way, he would hurt you. We saw Aaron Hernandez in New England. He is on trial for murder. This guy has been thrown off three football teams for conduct unbecoming. And now there is a tape where he calls his teammate, allegedly, and threatens him, using all kinds of racial invectives. So of course I'm talking it seriously, Miller.

MILLER: I didn't say take it seriously. I don't think you are really upset about it. Billy, you saw the question we just read. We have got like over a trillion people somewhere, a billion people who think we are Satan. Richie Incognito is Marge Schott (ph) with a 550-pound bench press. He is a moron. Who cares about Richie Incognito?

O'REILLY: It's a big industry, Miller. There is a lot of violence--

MILLER: We disagree. This is just a crazy kid all whacked out. We have got a rap overlay in the culture now where there are crazy white kids who think they can co-opt the n word. They do it, they get smacked down because everybody realizes you can't do. Do I think he's a nutter? Yeah. Do I think it's the end of the world? No. I think they will figure it out. All I know is everybody who covers football now either writes about concussions, coaches working too hard or hazing. I just want to say, there is a cat who works for grantland.com, Bill Barnwell (ph), still writes about football. Can can we pay attention to the football? For God's sake this is manna from heaven from you, you can put "Killing Incognito" into the gallies, Billy.

O'REILLY: I don't want any ill to come to the guy.

MILLER: Me neither. What are you worried about? It's just a big crazy kid who flips on his teammate. I don't mean we are going to kill him.

(CROSSTALK)

O'REILLY: If that's the way you feel about it, I'm inviting the guy to your 60th birthday party, which is going to be on Saturday. Richie Incognito is jumping out of the cake. How about that? If he can fit in the cake if there is cake big enough in the world, I'm going to have him there.

MILLER: (inaudible) watch football for football and I still like to do jokes about things. Listen, I feel great at age 60, but this country is shot. Everybody worries about everything for God's sake. I feel good. Now that I'm an elder, I went in the other day to get a medical procedure approved, even my death panel had a cake for me. Now, listen, they didn't have any candles on it, maybe they were sending me a subtle hint, but life is good. I go out with you on the bolder fatter--

O'REILLY: Fresher.

MILLER: Tour, and then occasionally on the off days I do gym day with Richie Incognito. My life is flush.

O'REILLY: 60 years old, Dennis Miller. How frightening is that?

MILLER: Don't worry too much about Richie Incognito. Keep your eye on Islam. Radical Islam, that's the thing. Incognito.

(CROSSTALK)

O'REILLY: They'd stone him to death. He would be dead if he was over there in Abu Dhabi.

MILLER: If Richie Incognito converted to Islam tomorrow, they would have to leave him alone.

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