This is a partial transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," Mar. 14, 2005, that has been edited for clarity.
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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Personal Story" segment tonight, musician/writer Kinky Friedman has announced his bid to unseat Texas Governor Rick Perry (search) in 2006. Mr. Friedman must collect 50,000 signatures to get on the ballot as an independent, but why he would want that job is the major question.
Kinky Friedman joins us now. He's the author of the brand-new book "10 Little New Yorkers." his 17th book novel.
You sell a lot of books. You do really very well in that area.
Now is this a Jesse Ventura (search)? You really want to do a coup d'etat (search) there in Texas and take over?
KINKY FRIEDMAN, MUSICIAN AND WRITER: Oh, absolutely.
O'REILLY: Yes?
FRIEDMAN: I mean, I've achieved many of my dreams, and I want to see that some others get a chance to, especially younger Texans.
O'REILLY: So you want to run on -- are you conservative? Are you liberal? What are you?
FRIEDMAN: No, I wouldn't say I was either one of those. I think that's the problem. The Democrats got a good idea, the Republicans shoot it down. The Republicans have an idea, the Democrats kill it. I mean, I'm not for the parties. I'm for Texas.
O'REILLY: You're for Texas.
FRIEDMAN: Yes.
O'REILLY: But I don't know what that means. See, now you're sloganeering, and you don't like that.
FRIEDMAN: Well, it means the campaign is not a political one, it's a spiritual one.
O'REILLY: Spiritual.
FRIEDMAN: Yes.
O'REILLY: Wow! The ACLU (search) are not going to support that.
FRIEDMAN: No, they're probably not.
O'REILLY: They're going to sue your butt off if you get that spiritual thing going on.
FRIEDMAN: Well, it is spiritual. It's not the career politicians that I care about. I want to get them out just like Arnold did in California, and, after that, we'll get the Californians out of Texas.
O'REILLY: So you're real serious about this?
FRIEDMAN: Yes, I'm very serious about it.
O'REILLY: If you get the 50,000 -- and I must tell everybody watching in Texas, if you've voted in a Republican or Democratic primary, you can't sign Mr. Friedman's petition, but if you're an independent or you haven't voted, the apathetic, you can get right on the bandwagon.
All right. Now we just had a discussion on the border and the chaotic immigration. And you're in Texas, you're the governor, what do you do about the border?
FRIEDMAN: Well, my plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program (search) from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border.
O'REILLY: Do you trust the Mexicans to do that?
FRIEDMAN: Well, we -- it would probably have -- it would be both sides, 679 miles-- fair to both sides. Definitely I would seal the border by bringing in the -- I think you're basically right about that.
O'REILLY: The National Guard.
FRIEDMAN: Bring in the National Guard, the Texas Rangers (search), the entire Polish Army, whatever it takes.
O'REILLY: Well, you could -- as Governor Friedman, you can call the Guard out and you can put the Guard right behind the federal Border Patrol. Arnold Schwarzenegger could do that tomorrow if he so desired.
FRIEDMAN: And I want them to help. I mean, good fences...
O'REILLY: Absolutely. That's what they're there for.
FRIEDMAN: ...Good fences make good neighbors, and, Mr. Fox, help us build that fence.
O'REILLY: Well, don't count on help from Mr. Fox because he's getting so much money from this illegal immigration back there.
FRIEDMAN: That's true.
O'REILLY: That's the scam. And don't count on the Mexican government vetting anybody because you can buy anything in Mexico, as you know, including a Green Card. All right, but you've got half of a good idea there, all right. And it was spiritual. I like that.
Now, when you take this on, are you going to attack the governor? Are you going to go in there and carve him up, or are you going to be spiritual in that?
FRIEDMAN: I think this is a place above politics. It's above the governor. I'm -- I want to knock down the windmill of politics as usual, OK? I want to do it like Rosa Parks (search) had a big enemy, segregation.
O'REILLY: Right.
FRIEDMAN: Natan Sharansky (search), the Soviet Union. This is a very big enemy, and the size of your enemy...
O'REILLY: So phony politicians are your main goal? You want to get them out?
FRIEDMAN: I would say. I would say. Yes, when democracy is flourishing in Iraq and in Lebanon and places like that, it's being stifled in Texas. That's...
O'REILLY: Do you really believe that democracy is being stifled in Texas?
FRIEDMAN: I believe that voices like Ross Perot (search), Pat Buchanan, Ralph Nader should be heard. They don't have to be president. Give 'em a chance. That's what the guys at the Alamo died for, is to give us a choice besides plastic or paper.
O'REILLY: OK. But Texas is such an independent state. I lived there for two years. You could win.
FRIEDMAN: It's very...
O'REILLY: I mean, you could -- I mean, stay away from Willie Nelson (search). I mean, you don't want him on the bus.
FRIEDMAN: He's my energy, Bill.
O'REILLY: He'll get the pot vote, but I don't know if that's what you want. But if you -- look, if you do what Ventura did and what Schwarzenegger did and then tell people -- because you're going to have to convince them that you're serious, number one, and, if you use the spiritual stuff too much, I don't know if that's going to go over. You're going to have to come up with five things that say, look, if I'm governor, these five things are going to happen.
FRIEDMAN: Well, look at this. We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.
O'REILLY: So more money for education.
FRIEDMAN: Well, more money for education, but also the human side of it is important. The teaching profession is no longer a great profession. People regard it as just a job. They don't think it's a real job.
O'REILLY: And you can reinvigorate that profession, do you think?
FRIEDMAN: Sure. I mean, money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
O'REILLY: All right, but, see, now you're into the theory again. Number one, the reason educational spending in Texas is so low is because you don't have a state tax there, and that's why Texas is big growth because you don't tax people to death.
Once you say I'm going to spend a lot of money on education, you're going to have to put in a state tax. You're never going to win in Texas with a state tax.
FRIEDMAN: No, no, no. We're not going to do that. I would say -- I would just say "no teacher left behind." I want it known that if we gave this governor that's in now a billion dollars, he would still spend it wrong. He'd build big stadiums and...
O'REILLY: All right. So you're going to be a more wise spender?
FRIEDMAN: Yes, yes.
O'REILLY: Pay teachers more?
FRIEDMAN: Yes. And the child-teacher relationship is crucial.
O'REILLY: Come on, Mr. Friedman. The child-teacher relationship. You're the governor. What, are you going to go and shake the teacher up, say be nice to Sammy?
FRIEDMAN: This is called "spiritual lifting." It's not heavy lifting. The governor of Texas should not be confused with Arnold Schwarzenegger (search). That's a powerful position. The governor of Texas can't do any heavy lifting really. It's not that powerful a position.
O'REILLY: That's true. That's true.
FRIEDMAN: ...but he can do the spiritual lifting. He can inspire people. That's...
O'REILLY: All right. Inspire me. I used to be a teacher. Now -- and I'm going to come in and say, look, I'm tired.
FRIEDMAN: You're one of my heroes.
O'REILLY: Thank you. I appreciate that.
I'm tired, I've got thug kids, half of them can't speak English, I don't get paid any money. Tell me why I should reinvigorate and recommit myself.
FRIEDMAN: Well, you've got to find that guy, who's probably a great teacher working at an underresourced school. You bring him to Austin or you bring Austin to him, and you listen to him and you learn from him, and I'm telling you spiritual lifting is the way to go.
I mean, this inspiration thing is important, to teach the kids that JFK is not an airport, RFK's not a stadium, Martin Luther King ain't a street.
O'REILLY: So you're going to devote your governorship, should you win, to raising the morale and trying to...
FRIEDMAN: and the spiritual. Bring back the glory of Texas.
O'REILLY: OK. Then that means you're going to travel everywhere, go to all the high schools, speak and all of that.
FRIEDMAN: Absolutely. We're going to make that Lone Star shine again.
O'REILLY: All right. Well, this sounds good. I mean, I like this. I don't know how realistic it is because, number one, the powers that be are going to try to tear you to pieces.
FRIEDMAN: Absolutely.
O'REILLY: Have you got any skeletons in the closet there or...
FRIEDMAN: No, but I think Texans will see that as the bull kicking the rodeo clown. I mean, they'll know what that is.
(LAUGHTER)
FRIEDMAN: It's going to happen.
O'REILLY: The bull kicking the rodeo clown.
FRIEDMAN: Bill, they spent $100 million in negative campaign advertising in the last gubernatorial race.
O'REILLY: And you're going to do spiritual advertising?
FRIEDMAN: The coin of the spirit. That's right. I mean...
O'REILLY: OK. Are you a religious man, by the way?
FRIEDMAN: Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and...
O'REILLY: Both of them there?
FRIEDMAN: And both of them were independents, by the way.
O'REILLY: They were, indeed.
FRIEDMAN: Yes.
O'REILLY: All right, Mr. Friedman. We're going to follow your campaign, and we -- don't get a big head, though. If you get -- we can't get Schwarzenegger on this program anymore. You know, when he was running, he was kicking our door, and now we can't talk to him. So you promise if you get elected, you'll come back on “The Factor”.
FRIEDMAN: Definitely, and people can help through the Web site right now if they want.
O'REILLY: OK.
FRIEDMAN: They can volunteer, contribute and...
O'REILLY: The Web site is up. Kinky Friedman for governor. And, also, the new book.
FRIEDMAN: kinkyfriedman.com. Yes, "10 Little New Yorkers."
O'REILLY: "10 Little New Yorkers."
FRIEDMAN: And may the God of your choice bless you, Bill.
O'REILLY: All right. There he is. Kinky Friedman, everybody.
FRIEDMAN: Thank you, sir.
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