This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 2, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: Hi, I'm Greg with Dagen McDowell, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, and a matchstick is her lamppost, Dana Perino. “The Five.”

So, you keep kicking a guy for three years, he's bound to kick back.


DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: Well, the whistleblower is very inaccurate. The conversation was perfect. It couldn't be nicer. Adam Schiff, he's a lowlife. He should be forced to resign. He made up my conversation. He actually made it up. It should be criminal. It should be treasonous. And shifty Schiff for nothing, he's a shifty dishonest guy.

And this guy was negative on Mike Pompeo. You know there's an expression. He couldn't carry his blank strap. I won't say it. They're a disaster. They're the do-nothing Democrats. Ninety nine percent of Nancy Pelosi's time is spent doing this.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you consider anyone who opposes you treasonous?

TRUMP: No, I consider when they lie. When they stand before our great body and our great chamber, and they make up a story that's fiction like Schiff did. He took that perfect conversation I had with the Ukrainian president and he make it into a total lie. It was a total fabrication, and you do admit that. It was a total fabrication.


GUTFELD: Yeah, he's pissed, and why the hell not? The media spent 36 months creating a hurricane of hysteria. Then, they rushed to their fainting couches when he comes out fighting. Sorry, his reaction is real and your outrage is not. But if you're still looking for proof of how the media manipulates you, news busters reveals that networks devoted seven hours to the whistleblower's complaint, while giving only 46 minutes to Hunter Biden's sweetheart deal.

Two allegations, one treated like Watergate, the other, water under the bridge. You think Hunter would become the huntee, making 50 grand a month for having the right dad. Nope, the media's brave firemen put that story out as soon as they saw smoke. Of course, the media will say, you can't compare what Hunter did to what Trump did, and they're right. Corruption is actually worse than talking about it, you jack asses.

And you just know the press is already working overtime to dismiss this story about Schiff getting the whistleblower claim first. How will they preserve their fervors fantasy? Maybe Adam can write it for them? So now you've got an angry president happily cultivated by a small group of semi- illiterate working in one marginal pseudo profession, all hoping to throw a country into crisis in an era where everybody has jobs and peaceful times, and why? They hat the guy. But it's also their business model. Check out these circling vultures.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's laughable that Joe Biden has done anything wrong.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We already know that there is zero evidence for the claims that the president is making.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The smears against Vice President Biden are ones that every presidential candidate should call out.


GUTFELD: Without division, there are no dividends. And how can you face your friends at the Hamptons if you're not demonizing Trump? Better to be cool than be correct. Country be damned.

Let's show the shot that I prefer. They showed the wrong side. These are the circling vultures.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Trump isn't magic. He isn't invulnerable. He will -- you know, if you cut him, he'll still bleed on this thing.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I don't know how much simpler or seedier it can get. This is, you know, hookers in a whore house. This is Rudy Giuliani mobbing up foreign policy full stop.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, You know, one of the, I think, startling and delicious aspect of all this is how quickly it's unraveling. And now, he's been dumped in the middle of this highway where there are cars zipping past him like 80 miles an hour, he doesn't know where to go. If he steps in the wrong way, in a wrong direction, he's going to get hurt.


GUTFELD: Jesse, we've heard a lot about, you know, hostile language and how bad these tweets can get. These people are fantasizing about violence.

JESSE WATTERS, HOST: And about hookers. I mean, there's no hookers in this hoax. They were in the Russia hoax, not this hoax.


WATTERS: This hoax needs hookers because it's that boring and that much of a non-scandal. So now, we have this breaking news about little Adam Schiff, or shifty Schiff, or pencil neck, whatever the president wants to call him. He has his fingerprints all over this whistleblower story. So, a member of his team contacted the whistleblower before the guy made his complaint. He directed the whistleblower to make the complaint. Then, he directed the whistleblower to go get a lawyer, and the lawyer happened to be a Schumer-Clinton lawyer. And the lawyer helped him write the complaint.

And then, he hides the fact that he had a contact with the whistleblower from the rest of the House Intelligence Committee. He goes on television, on MSNBC, and says I have not had any contact with the whistleblower. And then, he goes on the House hearing and he says, makes up a fabricated quote about the President of the United States.

This scandal is over. There's no crime. There's no cover up. They've created this scandal out of thin air. And now they're panicking because it's all falling apart. Now, permission to make two analogies --

GUTFELD: Please do.

WATTERS: OK. So, Trump can ask an ally for anything especially out of Ukraine because there's a treaty about corruption there, right? We know that. That's an established fact. So, if Biden can go over there, potentially commit a crime, Trump can't know about it, right? So, if Juan Williams goes to Ukraine, commits a crime, and then runs for president, Trump can't find out about it. That's illegal, all right? Permission to make the second analogy.

This is about the quid pro quo situation, OK? So, Trump already threatened to cut off foreign aid to Central America unless they stop the caravans from coming. Now, stopping the caravans would helped his reelection campaign. That's one of his big policies. Was that a campaign finance violation because he threaten to withhold aid to a Central American country? If they didn't do it he said on the border? It's the exact same thing. These aren't crimes. And everybody knows it and they're trying to fabricate the crime, because they're actually guilty of exactly what Trump is being accused of.

GUTFELD: All right. Since we're fair and balance. Juan, care to respond to any of Jesse's commentary?

WATTERS: Can't wait.

JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: I'm telling -- it's like trying to respond to a blowtorch. But I will say that with regard to the New York Times story, I think that the guidance suggests that if the whistleblower feels that he is being somewhat coordinate in the office of the director of National Intelligence, he is directed to seek out someone in the intelligence committee, and they are directed to send him, not only back to the inspector general's office at the DNI, but to also seek legal counsel. That's all that took place here.

WATTERS: OK. so you don't think it's suspicious at all that the chief Russia hoaxer -- Trump's biggest political enemy has his finger prints all over this next whistleblower?

WILLIAMS: No. The man is the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee.


WILLIAMS: Here's the reality, Jesse. When I listen to your rant, I think to myself, Trump is misleading his base to the point where I saw a poll today that says 40 percent of Republicans think that really, you know, the GOP was never looking into Biden. In fact, 30 percent think there was never any mention of Biden in the phone call. This is Trump --

GUTFELD: By Trump.

GUTFELD: -- misleading -- yes, by Trump. Misleading his base because, of course, you know, the White House put out a memo saying that Trump specifically mentioned Biden.

WATTERS: How he's misleading if he releases the transcript, Juan.

WILLIAMS: That's what I'm saying. He is now saying -- he's saying everybody is a low life, everybody is disgusting, the press is a bunch of liars. Just listen to me. Don't listen to anybody else. And then he's got a huge part of his base totally misled and everybody says, well, oh, no --

WATTERS: Highlight the Democrat star. He was a Russian traitor. Talk about misleading people, Juan.

GUTFELD: Yeah, I've got to get everybody in here. Dagen, I saw you covering your face with pain.

DAGEN MCDOWELL, HOST: The American people aren't stupid, Juan. And they can read this very short unclassified memo about the transcript of the call. Biden's name is mentioned twice. Once -- just twice. Once in reference --

WILLIAMS: I'm glad you saw it.

MCDOWELL: No, I read it, too.

WILLIAMS: That's what I'm saying. But both people don't read it, they hear the president saying, no, perfect call.

MCDOWELL: Let me just get out what I'm going to say, and then Dana can get in here. The American people look at it this way. I will imitate my father. Dagen, $50,000, my son was getting paid by a Ukrainian energy company. That's $600,000 a year. You know a board member on Exxon doesn't even get paid that? They get paid about half of that if you analyze it. How does that make sense? Because that's influence peddling. That's how the American people are viewing this.

And by the way, I watch those people in the media and I love it, because they act just like President Trump. They are what they claim to hate. And they lie, for what, three and a half years about Russia collusion with the Trump campaign. And those suckers didn't even miss a beat. They didn't even sneeze. They just kept charging ahead. Meantime, you can practically smell the flop sweat because they're worried about Trump getting reelected through the TV.

GUTFELD: What do you think, Dana?

DANA PERINO, HOST: Well, I thought today -- there're a couple of things. The shift -- this information about the committee knowing beforehand may give us more of an explanation as to Nancy Pelosi's confidence when she said that she wanted to go ahead and mover forward. And remember, she had that -- I never understood the timing that she wanted to move forward with the impeachment inquiry before they seen the transcript, even though the president says the transcript was going to be out within 24 hours. That might give us a little bit of a clue as to why she has so much confidence.

GUTFELD: There you go. Congratulations on your flu shot, by the way.

PERINO: Yeah, that's -- I think it's the D-block or something.

GUTFELD: Yes. OK. Kamala Harris doubling down on her call to suspend Trump's twitter, that's next on THE FIVE.


WATTERS: All right, 2020 roundup, here we come. Kamala Harris ramping up her attack to silence the president, after complaining about Trump's tweets, she sent a letter to twitter's CEO begging for the president's account to be suspended. Juan, don't you think this kind of just looks weak?

WILLIAMS: No, they should have suspended his account long ago for breaking the rules. But twitter is a private company, Jesse.


WILLIAMS: They can set any rules they want. I mean, you know, it's not a matter of your first amendment rights, I think so clear. They don't plan to suspend the president would be so politically explosive. His base would say, oh, what a grievance. They're always picking on the right. They're always picking on Trump. Get out of here.

But anyway, it's not going to happen. Very clear, it's not gonna happen. I would say that I think Harris is trying to stir her base. You know, Elizabeth Warren went after Facebook, and then Zucker went after her. And now, I think that what you get is Kamala Harris saying, I think I can go after twitter because there's a lot of anger at big tech going into 2020.

WATTERS: I see it as a gimmick. I mean, they're never going to suspend them.

MCDOWELL: It's Zuckerberg, by the way. Different media company. It's desperation to Kamala Harris is fumbling, and she's like, oh, I'm going to go after twitter because Elizabeth Warren has sucked all the oxygen out of the room. She's standing up and saying I'm going to go after Facebook. I'm going to break them up. I'm going to go after all of these big technology companies. Maybe by sucking up to some of these technology companies, Kamala think she can get some money from them.

WATTERS: Oh, she gets some air time on Fox. The last time we covered her was when she knocked out Joe.

PERINO: That's right. So she's got to try to figure out some way to punch through the news cycle, and I guess this was it. It's very strange to me to have someone who is running to be President of the United States that wants to silence another human being -- his fellow citizen. Beside, his tweeting is like their best asset. You go around. People are like, I just wish -- you know, I wish he wouldn't tweet. I mean, if he stops tweeting, what are they're going to run against?

WATTERS: That's a good point. Greg?

GUTFELD: What would we do for at least Fox? She has come a long way.

WATTERS: Oh very good.

GUTFELD: Thank you very much. If you can't beat him, you ban him. He has the best twitter game, whether you like him or not, the best twitter game in history. He does things that has never been done before, and will probably never be done again. So her argument is absurd, especially when you had Maxine Waters saying that she wants, you know, Trump to be put in solitary confinement or something. People are saying terrible things about everybody. Trump is just way better at it.

WATTERS: And he's got a hot new tweet right now about Joe Biden. I direct everybody in the audience to look at that after the commercial break. All right, Bernie Sanders canceling future campaign events, while he recovers from a health scare. The senator underwent a heart procedure yesterday after experiencing chest discomfort. Testing found he had a blockage in an artery, and his campaign says he's in good spirits, and we wish the senator a speedy recovery.

Greg, he's 78 years old. You know, he's got a lot of energy, but I think this came as a surprise to everybody.

GUTFELD: I think he's -- is he two years younger or two years older than Mick Jagger?

PERINO: Two years older.

GUTFELD: So, you can say he's a stent fighting man.


GUTFELD: All right. I have nothing to say. Illnesses are inevitable when you get older, and you have three contenders right now that are over 70. One is nearly 80. But I know it's consider bad taste to talk about people's health, so I won't until the break.

WATTERS: And, you know, it's also bad taste to talk about the political implications if this. I mean, there are political implications.

PERINO: There are. And there were some in his campaign right away. So he will be off the trail for a little while. They haven't said exactly when he'll come back, but given that this is a pretty routine procedure, probably pretty quickly. But he did have $1.6 million of ads that were supposed to go up today, starting today in Iowa, they have pulled those for now.

WATTERS: Oh, wow. And he just raised a massive amount of money in the third quarter, Juan.

WILLIAMS: Right. So we've got to wish him well. I mean, it's not easy. The funny thing about this is, anytime a man or woman is running for president, you want to know about their health, because you want to know about any underlying conditions. And I don't think that is a totally function of his age. You know, I've seen very young people just the other day, someone I know well, had to have this done.

And it -- you know, it comes as a shock because it reminds you of your immortality. The other thing is his campaign, as you pointed out, has been doing well in fund raising, but it has had some trouble, internally, people not getting along and the like. And, of course, Elizabeth Warren on fire.

WATTERS: All right. Dagen?

MCDOWELL: Didn't have to go to, kind of, government-run health institution, not yet, at least. I'd say that.

WATTERS: Well, I think as a senator, he probably has excellent health care.

PERINO: He tweeted that. He tweeted --

WATTERS: Very good care.


WATTERS: All right. Beto O'Rourke took us to the dentist. Then, he live streamed the trip to the barber to get a haircut. Then he showed us all how to change a tire. Now, Beto's out with a new public service announcement. Watch.




UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Take a deep breath. OK?


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Take a deep breath.



WATTERS: Dagen, I actually think this is his best one, because you want people to see you getting a flu shot because you want everybody get the flu shot.

MCDOWELL: Yes, he so benevolent.


MCDOWELL: Number one, do some push-ups before you show your guns.

WATTERS: Oh. Can we see those arms again?

MCDOWELL: Yeah. He's been busy, like, driving a car and not working out, number one. Number two, you know, I get stuff shot in my face at least once every four weeks.

WATTERS: Oh, boy.

MCDOWELL: And a lot of needles. So, this is really not that big deal.

WATTERS: Juan, you're terrified of needles, aren't you?

WILLIAMS: Are you OK, man? Why would you let anybody stick --

MCDOWELL: Because you know what? I don't -- because it's face work and I'm 50, and I work on TV. And I don't care if anybody knows it.

WILLIAMS: You're looking lovely, kid. But, anyway, I just got a flu shot, and my pal, Dana, got a flu shot. And then, because I'm over 65, they gave me a pneumonia shot, which I didn't ask for. And I've just been feeling low. So, anyway, that's a good thing. It's a good thing for him to do that. I know you guys are going to do it as political, but it's all part of his act about, I'm a real human being, and that sells. Just ask Donald Trump.

WATTERS: Well, I like the dentist one, though.

PERINO: Well, look, I would say that his stunt getting a flu shot to get on TV is better than Kamala Harris trying to ban President Trump on twitter if you are judging by those two things. I went today. I got the flu shot. My husband and I did it as a date.

WATTERS: Cute. Who paid?

PERINO: I think it was covered by -- well, I guess --

WATTERS: You pay?


WATTERS: You paid.


GUTFELD: Just be happy he didn't get an Enema.


WILLIAMS: Oh, my God.

WATTERS: Get me out of here. Director of the controversial new Joker movie is calling out liberal woke culture.


WILLIAMS: Welcome back. It's the most talked about movie in America right now.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: One small thing.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: When you bring me out, can you introduce me as Joker.


WILLIAMS: The new Joker receiving backlash for its portrayal of violence. And now, the movie's director is stepping in to yet another controversy, he's saying woke culture has killed comedy. He adds, quote, all of the bleeping funny guys are like bleep this bleep because I don't want to offend you. It's hard to argue with 30 million people on twitter. You just can't do it, right? So you just go, I'm out.

So, Greg, I think you and I have had discussion about this. I go to you first because I think the argument would be, this is P.C. culture run amok. What do you say?

GUTFELD: Yeah, I mean, I actually -- I mean, I don't blame him for what he's saying because he works for someone, and when you work with someone, it's the people you work for who fear the exaggerated voice of twitter. Like, when you work on your own, if you're like Dave Chappelle, or Bill Burr, you can go and do a Netflix thing and just flip everybody off, say whatever you want. But if you work in a company, you've got to contend with human resources, which are filled with people who came from college who are all woke but no talents.

And I think -- and I also don't think that the media helps by pushing this story because the power of persuasion among the unstable creates copycats. So they're naming a threat to the movie that isn't really there. But by naming the threat it's the beetle juice effect, people will then show up, so I think that when they created this, it's a fact story fabrication, I think. But I do -- he's making a great point.

You know, all of the big crusades have been fought. So the lonely activist now is chasing humor. They're chasing pronouns and patriotism and puberty. They've got nothing left.

WILLIAMS: Well, I was thinking, Jesse, if it's -- I mean, he says he had to -- he just gave it up and went somewhere else. But now, he's made a movie. That's pretty -- if I'm his dad I'd say, son, you're doing pretty well.

WATTERS: Yeah, but that's not a comedy classic. These comedy classics -- we haven't seen those for years. I mean, if you think about it. The point of comedy is that you're supposed to be able to laugh at yourself. We're all supposed to laugh at each other.

GUTFELD: Were you laughing at me, Jesse?

WATTERS: Right. Or laugh at me. But if everybody is off limits, then you can't make any jokes about anything, and then nothing is funny. You know who the funniest person right now is? Donald Trump. He's hilarious. He's the funniest guy in this country right now because he is very politically incorrect. He says the first thing that comes to his mind. Everybody is a target. He's self-deprecating sometime. He's kind of ridiculous sometimes. But he's hysterical and everybody knows it.

And besides him, maybe the Howard Stern show. They're on Sirius satellite radio. They don't have a lot of people controlling their content. He can get away with anything. He's a legend at this point. But Howard and Trump, and to a certain extent, some of the stuff we've say on this show was hilarious --


GUTFELD: I would add Dave Chappelle, Bill Burr, and a few other people. Anthony Jeselnik on -- the Netflix specials --

WATTERS: Right, I was getting -- yes, Chappelle, I was getting to -- at this point, he has the career and he has the bank account to say whatever the heck he wants to whoever he wants. And it's funny, and people watch it and they love it.

WILLIAMS: Well, but -- you know, I was thinking, Louis C.K., I think is not allowed out. I mean, even when he's doing stuff and he's trying to just experiment with some material, if somebody in the audience uses their phone, then it becomes a controversy. It's very difficult.

MCDOWELL: Louis C.K. still has a career. And I wrote down Bill Burr and Dave Chappelle because those are the great hoax, because they're willing to lance every taboo, and anybody who listens to those specials will be crying laughing.


MCDOWELL: And I encourage Todd Philips -- I've watched his movie about G.G. Allin --

GUTFELD: Oh, Hated. One of the great movies, Hated.

MCDOWELL: It is one of the grossest movies ever. He made it when he was in NYU. I encourage people to watch that. But now, you have a guy who has blank-you money, french-you money, because he made several hundred million dollars on the Hangover series where he gave up the original salary for the first movie and took Allen's 16 percent of the gross. And so, he can say, you know what, to the people in Hollywood. Do whatever he wants to. I encourage him.

GUTFELD: I don't know if our audience should watch Hated.

WILLIAMS: You know, Dana, I was going to ask you --


MCDOWELL: It's really disgusting.

GUTFELD: Oh, I would love for you to watch "Hated," and write a book report.


MCDOWELL: I encourage it. It's really disgusting.

WILLIAMS: Dana, that's the point I was coming to on this movie that the controversy here is not anything about PC humor. It's about rank, awful violence. PERINO: Well, you know I don't like the violence. I don't like to watch those shows too much, but I do - every time I see one of these quotes or these stories that come up, I think that the President's biggest applause line when he was running for office was when he said political correctness is killing this country. People went crazy and basic - I think that is at the base of a lot of it.

And when it comes down to the election next year, whoever the Democrat is, is going to have to still fight against that impulse of people saying we are - we're suffocating under political correctness.

WILLIAMS: You don't think that in fact he appeals to older white men who say we don't want to change the way we talk, because I think a lot of the support for this comes from younger people who say we don't like the way we've been talked about.

PERINO: I can accept that there are things that maybe I even would have said in high school that I wouldn't say today. I think that that's true. But I think that comedy is something different. And I do think that young people are suffering from not having a lot of joy in their lives. They're lonely people. They're upset. They're like they're trying to figure out a way to just like make it through the world.

Well, one of the ways you make it through the world is that you laugh, it's one of the reason the show is successful is because like life is full of all sorts of things, you cannot always mind your P's and Q's or else you're going to be like living in a little box.

WATTERS: Yes, I was just going to say political correctness is not about what race you are. There is people of all races, all sexes come from all everywhere that are very politically incorrect, and it cuts across this country.


WATTERS: Broadly.

MCDOWELL: Can I just say one quick thing, don't watch that movie. I don't want to get fired. I take that all back.

PERINO: I never heard of that movie.

GUTFELD: It's a reason, GG Allen is kind of a unique individual, Dana.

PERINO: I'll look it up in the commercial break.

MCDOWELL: I said that for you, Greg.

WILLIAMS: All right.

MCDOWELL: Because I knew you would know.

WILLIAMS: Let's stay out of trouble, guys. Up next, more proof, social media is all about and this is so crazy to me keeping up with the Joneses. Stay with us. More on “The Five.”


MCDOWELL: In a world of selfie culture and Instagram influencers have social media warped our view of success? A new poll sheds light on how modern culture skews our sense of what is important. When asked to rank what factors people think society uses to measure success, being famous is top choice along with having a large social media following, followed by driven to always be better than others and has a higher standard of living than peers.

Finally, always has something important to do. But what's interesting about this Dana is that this is the way that people thinks that society is, but they don't view their own lives like satisfaction and success in their own life in the same way.

PERINO: Yes. Well, I remember not too long ago, there was a survey in Britain that Peter just couldn't get over about, it was a question to young people. What do you want to be when you grow up? And the answer - the number one answer was famous. Like OK, well famous for what. Doesn't matter. Just want to be famous and this is like after Big Brother had been around for few years.


PERINO: And they think that that is the way the path to money and everything that is going to be smooth sailing in your life and - but I think it's like it's the exact opposite, the things that make you successful are the things that made people successful for a long time. If you read about people who are really successful, they have a set of values and discipline and routine and hard work and they have family and friends. That's really the secret.



MCDOWELL: No, I was curious what you thought.

GUTFELD: You looked at me and I could sense you were asking me a question in your head. Social media has replaced achievement with exposure. Used to be that achievement would get you exposure, but now exposure is the achievement in itself.

Your social footprint matters more than what you do with your family. It's people you don't know that matter. So, I think the worst thing about it is, we've created a new class system where everybody can visually measure themselves. Imagine if anybody could see your paycheck and how weird that would be. That's what we're doing with kids now. They can see their own footprint. They can see how much they matter.

A kid - a 13-year old in Nebraska can see what a 13-year-old in New York is doing and he has better stuff and more stuff. The perceived obscurity turns into feelings of worthlessness and then the feelings of worthlessness can contribute to rises in mental illness, embracing cult behavior to join certain things and I would say the spectacles of violence. I think mass shootings have a lot to do with the feelings of worthlessness which are borne out of social media. But that's - I don't have any proof.


WATTERS: Well, I consider success, how much money you make. That's how I've always considered success is defined. When someone says, oh, that's a very successful person. I think that person is filthy rich or they're at the top of their game or they're doing very, very well financially.

Now, people can be famous for nothing, but they can monetize that fame. I mean there is Kardashians that are famous for really no reason, but because--

GUTFELD: Well, there was one reason--

WATTERS: Of their Instagram followers maybe not her, maybe her sister because of all the following you can monetize that and capitalize that, but really being successful is not what this is about, it's about being content and being happy and being fulfilled and living a life that you're satisfied with. And a lot of people don't see that on social media. You can see rich fancy people with very nice sports cars or on the nicest vacations, but deep down maybe they're crying inside. Maybe they have some nasty disease they're living their last days on Earth.

Maybe they're having a hard time at home. Maybe they're drug addicts. You don't know what's really going on behind the scenes, so you can't really judge by what you see on social media. I did yoga today and I feel very, very, very content and at ease with my life and I suggest everybody eventually, Namaste.

MCDOWELL: You could relate to this. Down south, we judge how successful you are by the--


MCDOWELL: How tall your hair is.

PERINO: Yes, you're doing pretty good, Jesse.

WATTERS: Well, then I'm doing really well.

WILLIAMS: Let me get this straight--

MCDOWELL: The bigger the hair the closer to God.

WILLIAMS: You feel happy and content today?


WILLIAMS: Oh! My God. I don't want to catch on a--

WATTERS: Did you hear the A block, Juan.

WILLIAMS: That's what I'm saying. I've got the--

WATTERS: Scandals coming undone.

WILLIAMS: Look, I've been saying this for a long time. I think that social media is having an effect on us as human beings in a way that we don't even understand, it has consequences that are driving us to different kinds of behavior, different relationships. It's changing. The way that we interact. Increasing levels of isolation, increasing or decreasing your attention, your ability to focus to join in a conversation and increasing the rate at which we're in smaller and smaller groups of people of like mind rather than having to discuss things with people as we do here on 
“The Five” on good days. The people who have different positions.

So, to me, it's like unintended consequences. I think sometimes when we talk about this, I think you and I talked about this was to some extent, it's a little bit like saying, well, you know one time people smoked a lot of cigarettes and they don't understand the consequence.


WILLIAMS: But now, this is something that's beyond our immediate health. It's not like yes, higher rate of cancer. No, it's in all our brains. We carry this device on us. And especially for young people, their sense of the world is defined by the little device in their pocket. It doesn't go beyond it.

PERINO: I like - Instagram and Facebook I guess are thinking about hiding the number of likes that you get for your posts and maybe especially for the point that you're making about the disparities of young people might be a good idea.


PERINO: I'm fine with that. I know my post are liked.

WILLIAMS: Yes. But you know what drives me crazy, the most visible aspect of this is selfies Where do people take selfies.

PERINO: In the elevator.

WILLIAMS: Our elevators. Our new elevators.



MCDOWELL: I think people are always that narcissistic. It's not the creation of self. It's like social media. It's like we were just hiding it- -

PERINO: No, I don't know. I think it's worse.

MCDOWELL: OK. Up next, wild video of a woman taunting a lion at a zoo.


PERINO: A bizarre scene caught at the Bronx Zoo. This woman thought it would be a good idea to climb over a safety barrier and taunt a male lion.


PERINO: The zoo says she could have been killed and now police are investigating it. Luckily nobody got hurt. She was also took another picture of herself in the giraffe enclosure and said in her caption on Instagram, she has the same exact diet as a giraffe, which we don't because giraffes don't eat meat. But anyway, you wouldn't do this, would you? You have the cat off.

GUTFELD: Yes. I don't know if she's well, but I don't understand people filming it without doing. I mean what if the lion ate her, like would the lion get in trouble or the lion just be doing what the lion does and then--

PERINO: And the lion would get put down.

GUTFELD: The lion would get put down for this - she might be crazy. She might be crazy, but I just don't understand people just filming it, I'd be calling the cops.

WATTERS: Well, I know why.


WATTERS: I mean not that I would do, but I understand the reason they do it. If they film, her getting eaten by a lion then you sell that to a news organization for tens of thousands of dollars.

GUTFELD: That's a good point.

WATTERS: That's the reason they film these things.

GUTFELD: The Daily Mail model.

WATTERS: Yes. That's why they do it. I mean I would have thrown my phone down and then tackled the woman then saved her. I would have been the hero. And then I would have posted it on my Instagram page.

GUTFELD: I would have--

WATTERS: But she did this. She posted the video on her Instagram page. That's how you know this thing is a publicity stunt.

PERINO: This is not - we do not recommend anyone try this, Juan?

WILLIAMS: No. I mean I hope everyone knows that zoos are not interactive. You're just supposed to look. And you know that's about it. I just - I don't want to cast aspersions, but I do wonder about her health and intoxication or delusion, what is going on because that doesn't make sense. You have a basic primal fear of a beast.


WILLIAMS: So, something's off there.


GUTFELD: You know what though, it's the - what's the phrase when you give a human attribute to an animal?

PERINO: Anthropomorphic.

GUTFELD: We've been anthropomorphizing in movies for the last 30, 40 years.

WILLIAMS: She's lucky--

WATTERS: Blame Hollywood.


WILLIAMS: She's lucky she's not dead. I mean, the Bronx Zoo, hats off. You must be feeding these lions very well, because otherwise they would eat--

PERINO: I think the lion was probably like, whoa lady, what are you doing?

WATTERS: You're right.

PERINO: Back away.

WATTERS: We do this after lunch.

MCDOWELL: This goes back to this last segment though, because again it's the selfie culture. In the beginning, you can kind of - at the beginning of the video you can kind of hear her male companion. I think it's a male companion saying, I don't think you're supposed to go in there and do that.

By the way, a woman got mauled by a Jaguar at an Arizona zoo. And she apologized, the headlines were like, Jaguar will not be euthanized. Of course, the Jaguar is not going to be euthanized.

PERINO: Well, and the other thing is if a giraffe - giraffes can also, if they feel threatened, they'll come after you.

WATTERS: What can a giraffe do?


PERINO: Well, it can kick. What if it hit with you its neck?

WATTERS: It could strangle you.

PERINO: Toss you in the next week.

WATTERS: That's true.

PERINO: Then you can tell us what's going to happen.

WATTERS: That's true.

GUTFELD: Why isn't she in jail?

WILLIAMS: No, why isn't she dead. How did they get her out of there?

GUTFELD: Yes, I don't know. But I mean it's like you guys are like, there's got to be a penalty for this.

PERINO: Right.

WATTERS: The Bronx Zoo needs to get on this.

PERINO: The Bronx Zoo filed a complaint for criminal trespass.

GUTFELD: There you go.

PERINO: And the New York police are investigating the incident, but they hadn't been arrested as of Tuesday night.

GUTFELD: Is the lion pressing charges?

PERINO: Is it cat out of the bag.

GUTFELD: Terrible.

MCDOWELL: Go buy a guinea pig. I mean why are you getting in the lion's den.

PERINO: No, it's bad for the zoo. And the zoo does such a great job of helping us understand these animals so that you can have empathy and learn about them.

WATTERS: Well, how did she get across the guardrail there and you can just wander right off into the lion's den?

GUTFELD: You know what they need to do.

PERINO: You know what, tomorrow you could go and check it out. We'll send you with a camera. GUTFELD: Jesse, you know what they need. They need to build a wall. They need to build a wall or a moat with alligators and snakes.

WATTERS: I heard that stops people from crossing.

GUTFELD: It would stop me. I'm not a big fan of moats.

WILLIAMS: Somebody said that they could even shoot them in the legs after they put the alligator, but who would say such a thing.

PERINO: I mean come on--

WATTERS: Fake news.

PERINO: All right, One More Thing is up next.


GUTFELD: Jesse, One More Thing.

WATTERS: All right, Greg. It is time for the international edition of mom text. International. My mom is still out of the country managing to keep tabs on the show, somehow, I think there's a conspiracy afoot. Are you guys ready? All right. Sweetheart, I know that what is taking place politically is unsettling. We get that even in Peru, but we have actually heard from dearly loved and deeply respected people in the states that you are behaving as if unhinged.

I mom texted you before leaving to please tone it down and stop screaming. And that was last week. Please honey, be careful and rein in your tone and language. If others are communicated the unhinged message to us when we are out of the country tis something for you to weigh and think about, don't make me worry abroad, please.

PERINO: And she used the apostrophe in the right place.


GUTFELD: Yes. Tis.



WILLIAMS: We've got to tell her about your yoga or whatever.

GUTFELD: So, I think your mom's part of the deep state.

WATTERS: I think she is too.

GUTFELD: Yes, all right.

WATTERS: She could be a whistleblower.


WATTERS: Loved that seven.

WILLIAMS: Oh! What a night. I had big baseball fun last night for most of the Washington Nationals Milwaukee Brewers game last night. This Nat's fan felt like Charlie Brown. I was ready to see my team go down to defeat one more time and then this happened folks.


Yes. Soto knocked in three runs in the eighth inning giving the Nationals a 4-3 lead. It would end with victory. Here I am at the moment of the big hit with my son, Rafi. Yes, it was a wonderful father son outing, lots of memories. Go Nat's, Beat L.A.

WATTERS: All right.


GUTFELD: All right. So, if you go to Fox Nation, if you don't have it, you should get it. My show One Smart Person, and Greg Gutfeld, the smart person is Kimberley Strassel from The Wall Street Journal. We talk a lot about this latest Ukrainian stuff. It's a great conversation. Please check it out.

Now it is time for this. I hate these people. Yes, I haven't hated people in a long time, but I'm telling you I really hate the people at the gym. I hate the people so much; I could barely contain it any longer. You're sitting on an exercise machine and you're just like this. I mean I don't give a damn if you're on the phone, on the stair climber. I could give a crap, but when you're sitting on something and somebody is waiting for it and you were on the phone, you are an absolute loser and you do not deserve to be in a gym. You deserve to be on the street where you belong.

You make me sick to my stomach. It's almost as bad as people who bring in their trainer into the gym taking a few spots. But this is wrong, and nobody has the guts to call it out. Well, I am. I hate you. All right. Sorry. Dana?

PERINO: Feel better.

GUTFELD: Yes, I feel a lot better. That's my yoga.

PERINO: A nice story now, a little antidote. This is Howard Fisher. He lived in Florida for 20 years, but he never managed to make it to the beach until his 93rd birthday. On the big day, Howard's daughter drove in from Alabama. She picked him up, took him out to Anna Maria Island in Florida and they borrowed a special beach wheelchair which you can get down there. And he had this big smile on his face, and he is eager - we are eagerly waiting to hear from him. He is going to be 94 soon, but never been to the beach.

GUTFELD: Why did he wait this long?

PERINO: He just said he never got - he never kind of got around to it. Then all of a sudden, he's like - he said to his daughter, I'd really like to go but now it's too late. And she said no, it's not too late. It's not too late. And also, there's a new edition of, I'll Tell You What podcast. We talk about Bernie Sanders and all the new polls and a little bit of - we talk about caviar. Chris (ph) defended caviar. I did not.

WATTERS: Wait, he's from West Virginia.


WATTERS: He's defending caviar from West Virginia.


WATTERS: Does West Virginia know that?

PERINO: He's a foodie though.

WATTERS: He's a foodie.

PERINO: Yes, I'm not.

WATTERS: Wow, I did not see that coming.

WILLIAMS: By the way, I love that story. You know I think, daughters and dads is a very interesting special relationship.

PERINO: Indeed.

GUTFELD: Well, they're related. It's just something to look out for, if you forget.

MCDOWELL: Jesse, by the way, they'll eat anything in West Virginia.


MCDOWELL: Squirrels.

GUTFELD: It is your One More Thing. Don't offend West Virginia.

MCDOWELL: I'm from adjacent Virginia, not the same state, so I have rights.

GUTFELD: Barely you have rights.

MCDOWELL: It's illegal to marry your first cousin in West Virginia, not in Virginia. If you're interested.


GUTFELD: No idea.

MCDOWELL: So, the Fox Business Network has freshened its brand. This is Maria Bartiromo. I get to work with this superstar three hours every morning, there's Cavut (ph). I wouldn't have a job in TV if not for him. A fresher look on the screen the new app, the new website, making things simpler, easy to use invested in you. Most importantly is the message. We have lived the American dream and we are a port in the storm for all the nonsense, why is the market down, tune in tomorrow morning 6 AM.

GUTFELD: I will be up at - I'm sure it'll be great.

WILLIAMS: Is that why the elevators are all different.


GUTFELD: Yes. All right, "Special Report" is up next.

Hey, Bret.

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