Juan Williams attends 32nd Annual Bark Ball

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 23, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

JESSE WATTERS, HOST: Hello, everybody. I'm Jesse Watters along with Dr. Nicole Saphier, Juan Williams, Dana Perino, and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is "The Five."

The Republicans are fed up with Adam Schiff's secret impeachment hearings, and now they're doing something about it. Furious Republican congressmen fought back by storming their way into a close door interview with the latest witness. Republicans also hammering Democrats with a total lack of transparency.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Behind those doors they intend to overturn the results of an American presidential election. What is Adam Schiff trying to hide?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What is happening here is not fair.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There is no reason this should be down in a tiny room within a room within a skiff at the basement of the Capitol. That's so Adam Schiff can control the narrative, can drive polling, and can get the vote that he wants, which is to impeach the president.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: All of that is happening while the media eats up the latest talking points spoon fed to them by the Democrats. Check out this press endlessly repeating that the testimony from the top diplomat to the Ukraine was, quote, devastating and clear evidence of a quid pro quo.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Up ahead, much more on this devastating day for the Trump administration.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's devastating testimony.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Really devastating piece of evidence.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That's why this testimony today was so devastating.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's devastating. It's a smoking gun.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Devastating from a national security perspective.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: His testimony is devastating.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That sounds like a quid pro quo directed by the president.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Is, in fact, a quid pro quo.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: To push for a quid pro quo.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There was, in fact, a quid pro quo.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The very clear quid pro quo.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That is a quid pro quo.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Not so fast. Republicans in the room say the diplomat crumbled under questioning and there was no evidence of a quid pro quo. Juan, don't you think this would just clear everything up if they just did this in open?

JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: Right, but it wouldn't be a legitimate process.

WATTERS: Why not?

WILLIAMS: Because you don't want to libel somebody. What if somebody says something is not true or something --

WATTERS: Wait, you think it would be illegitimate to hold a hearing in public?

WILLIAMS: No, you didn't ask me that. You said this impeachment inquiry is being done right now in private. In other words, to allow people confidentiality to make statements, and then they can be brought forward. By the way, quid pro quo, how can you not -- did you read what Bill Taylor said? Bill Taylor who's a West Point grad who served in Vietnam, a Bush appointee, ambassador in places like Afghanistan, Ukraine? You think he's a liar?

WATTERS: I read his opening statement, but what we didn't hear is him under cross examination, and that's what I think, Greg, everybody wants to know.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: Juan, there is no evidence of a quid pro quo. And guess what? We don't even -- we can't even prove that, because you don't even have any people asking questions in public.

WILLIAMS: Here's his statement. You can read it, Jesse. In the statement --

WATTERS: OK. Anybody can make a statement and anybody can fail to answer a follow up questions which, apparently, he did.

WILLIAMS: You think Taylor is a liar and --

WATTERS: I don't know what he is, Juan. But I know I don't know and you don't either.

WILLIAMS: Yeah, but the press --

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: -- so the press is wrong --

WATTERS: I know that they're calling people in secret and the Democrats are leaking it to the Washington Post.

WILLIAMS: I can read --

WATTERS: Juan, you, as a journalist, should be ashamed for doing this behind closed doors.

WILLIAMS: I am proud that the press of the United States of America can report on a legitimate distinguished diplomat's statement --

WATTERS: It's all leaks, Juan, and you know it.

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: I think the thing is the problem with the secret testimony is that nobody should believe it, because it's -- right off the bat it stinks. The way I look at it, all you need to know is you've got to ask yourself a question, you have historically low unemployment, you've got 6.4 million new jobs, a booming economy, so far you have peace and it's contagious, Juan. I'm sorry.

So what does the establishment loser response? A secret anonymously driven coup which is egged on by the media. That -- to your point, that is the thing that I don't understand. There's only one explanation for this. Because of the results of Trump's White House so far, they realize they can't beat him, so they need to eliminate him. So what they're doing is they're willing to divide and create division among our country as a political weapon to solve their political humiliation.

I have one question for libertarians, for leftists, true leftists, and pacifist. You now have a president whose primary goal is not spilling anymore blood anywhere, where are you? This is like the most progressive foreign policy I've seen in my life. You're going to let the New York Times, you're going to let Hillary Clinton, you're going to let CNN and Adam Schiff basically replace him with a Hillary pod because they don't like him, after what he's doing? That's pretty fricking crazy.

WATTERS: Dana, what do you think about this? You know, the Washington Post like to say democracy dies in the darkness.

DANA PERINO, HOST: I think that arguing for transparency is usually is your best argument especially with the media, because we revere the first amendment, right? So the transparency thing is good. The stunt today of going down -- you know the president said I want the Republicans to get tougher, so that -- they'll win the news cycle on that today. Like, they'll be able to drive the news. But when the majority of the House Democrats have the gavel they're not affected by the transparency argument, they just keep rolling down until they see something in their polling, or in their focus groups, or the pressure from their constituents gets to a fever pitch on transparency, they're probably not going to change it.

The other thing is, I think -- I feel like the goal posts from both sides are moving so much that even if there was to say -- like there was a quid pro quo, I'm pretty sure it would be like, oh, OK. Fine.

GUTFELD: Yeah, who cares?

PERINO: Who cares?

GUTFELD: Who cares? Because that's what people do, Dana, correct?

PERINO: What?

GUTFELD: Like, I want you to check -- I want you to check out your corruption before we give you all this money. That's what his job is.

WILLIAMS: But, Greg, it's not -- the quid pro quo here was something for the president, something of value, dirt on his political opponent.

GUTFELD: The corruption -- no, no, no. You're talking about corruption, 2016 corruption. Look into it. I'm sorry --

WILLIAMS: No, no, Joe Biden --

WATTERS: Also, Juan, there is no quid pro quo because the Ukrainians didn't even know that any of the money was being withheld. Dr. Saphier, I want to play some sound from the Republicans on this and you can react.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The mainstream media reporting that he provided evidence of a quid pro quo involving military aid is false. Neither he or any other witness has provided testimony that the Ukrainians were aware that military aid was being withheld. You can't have a quid pro quo with no quo.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The truth is, is that in two minutes, John Radcliff destroyed this witness. There's no quid pro quo.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Dr. Saphier?

NICOLE SAPHIER, HOST: Yeah, I find it interesting because, you know, we didn't do the timeline. Either they have the conversation, the phone conversation, Trump and Zelensky in July. And there's reports that the White House is holding back these funding. The funds, themselves, weren't actually going to be us until September, October unless Zelensky made some public declaration, which, by the way, never actually happened. Yet, the funds did go there.

So, you know, I have a lot of questions when it comes to the quid pro quo. You know, unfortunately, the lack of transparency, my questions aren't being answered. Adam Schiff is running such a tight ship with the closed door policy here, yet he's allowing the leaks, he's allowing this narrative to build up full of like inflated verbiage, and I just think it continues to divide the country, and that just seems to be their number one goal right now is massive division for 2020 election. And I'm tired of all this posturing just for election purposes.

WATTERS: Yeah, I think, Juan, after a while, if you're going to continue to do this in the dark, in secret, so the country can know why the president is being impeached, people are going to be fed up with it. I think this is going to do long-term damage here.

WILLIAMS: Let me get this straight, you don't know why the president is being impeached?

WATTERS: You can't have any evidence, even seen by Republicans. They can't even see transcripts. They're actually threatening to withhold checks from people that are testifying.

WILLIAMS: You don't know why the president is being impeached?

WATTERS: You want to see the full evidence, Juan. You want to listen to witness testimony --

WILLIAMS: That's the legitimate constitutional process that they would hold --

WATTERS: You think it's legitimate to do it behind closed doors?

WILLIAMS: Absolutely.

WATTERS: You think this is legitimate, Juan?

WILLIAMS: I just told you I do. And the second thing to tell you is that it will come out and then you'll say, oh, my gosh, why are they presenting it this way? This is unfair to the president --

WATTERS: When will it come out, Juan?

WILLIAMS: It's gonna come out in a month or so. But certainly -- but let me just say this, it's the Senate that should be worrying you, Jesse.

WATTERS: Why?

WILLIAMS: Because, right now, we see reporting that says -- I think there's a daily caller or somebody -- you know, did a poll of all the people in the Senate. Forget the poll of the American people who think this is legitimate. There were only seven senators who said they're not open to the inquiry, impeaching, and removing --

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: I don't think it's that point where most Republicans --

WATTERS: Dana, where do you see this going?

PERINO: Well, Schiff will continue to call these witnesses, like -- because everything is so polarized. Each side thinks that they're winning. And there are Republicans that think, absolutely, you impeach Donald Trump -- impeachment does not mean that he's not going to be president anymore. Clinton was impeached and his polling numbers went up. His popularity went up. Probably had a chance to run for a third term, who knows what would happen. I don't know. I'm not saying --

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: But there are Republicans who truly believe this is helping him. Then there are Democrats who think this -- that they have to do this in order to try to fight back against their base who's frustrated because they want to say how are you holding the president accountable?

In the meantime, especially it's kind of interesting, there's reporting today that Pelosi's team and the Trump White House are still working on their plan is -- whatever you think about the lowering of the drug prices, at least their policy proposal, which I don't think it's great prescription, but they're still moving forward on that.

And the trade deal, the USMCA, apparently, is still on track as well. So maybe it's possible that they can actually still get things done and continue with impeachment.

WATTERS: Are you talking about walking and chewing gum at the same time?

PERINO: That's a great cliche.

WATTERS: It's a great analogy. I can't believe I thought of it. Is crooked Hillary about to make a comeback. How close Clinton is to a 2020 rematch with Trump? Up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: Are you ready for Hillary 2020? Speculation now mounting Clinton could jump into the race. She's reportedly mulling a rematch with the president after feeling vindicated on her e-mail scandal. The State Department recently found no deliberate mishandling of classified information by Clinton. It also comes amidst reports the party's leaders have serious doubts about the current group of Democratic contenders. Greg, let's start.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: You know --

GUTFELD: You know I predicted this.

WILLIAMS: What?

GUTFELD: I predicted this -- what -- how many years ago? The problem -- remember, I always said that there's like -- she was always wanting to change the first line of her obituary, right? She doesn't want to be lost to Trump. However, what's missing here -- what's missing here is friendship. Friendship isn't somebody saying, hey, whatever you do I'm going to support you. Friendship says are you nuts. A person comes up and she says she's gonna run, a person would say, stop, let's go to happy hour, let's get a day drunk going. I'll call my guy. He'll meet us at the airport. We'll go to Bora Bora. Forget about this because it's stupid.

Here's the thing. She cannot enter the race without being number one. She can't return to the world as a third or fourth banana. That would be like Brad Pitt leaving motion pictures to do the local weather, and pick the city of your choice, Dana.

PERINO: Hmm.

GUTFELD: Boise, OK. So the only way for -- Juan, the only way for her to do this is a massive orchestration by the party in which everybody has to stand down, right? She has to be ushered to the front of the line. Bernie ain't going to be her V.P. Joe, that would be hilarious if he became her V.P. Liz ain't gonna do it. So that leaves her with either Mayor Pete or Kamala -- she has -- they have to orchestrate the V.P. choice for her, for all of this to happen.

This is worse than the CNN, Bernie -- Bernie, whatchamacallit, remember the debate thing. This is worse than that. It's not happening. It's going to piss off too many people.

WILLIAMS: But I must say, so, Dana, here's the thing, I was just looking I've said, where is this coming from? Because I don't see any reality to it when I check with people who are around Hillary Clinton, and they say -- Steve Bannon. Steve Bannon has been on Fox Business promoting this. The New York Post has been promoting this. Drudge had a picture of Hillary in a Halloween witch's hat like, you know, the witch is coming back. The wicked witch of the west. And I think to myself, maybe she's such a villain for the Republicans, they want to beat up on her.

PERINO: I don't know.

GUTFELD: Beat up, really, Juan?

PERINO: I think that the thing is, she's been on a book tour with her daughter that coincided right now with this process and the timing of it. So, I think, partly, is that just because she's out there and she's commenting not on the -- the book is about successful women in history and all their great stories --

GUTFELD: Which is why she's not in it.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: But besides her obituary it's not -- she didn't just lose to Trump, she lost to Obama and Trump.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: And that is a unique thing. Not everybody can say that. And she doesn't have, as Greg said, people saying, like, OK, stand down. Maybe, perhaps, she's whispering that she still feels like she could beat him. Remember, she thinks she did beat him. She thinks that Facebook got in her way, Russia got in her way. There's no personal responsibility, so she can't move on.

WILLIAMS: Oh, you think so. OK. Jesse, what -- I saw today a poll -- did I miss something?

PERINO: No, no, no, I said, yeah, I think so.

WILLIAMS: Yeah, yeah, I agree with you. OK. CNN had a poll today, had Biden spiking up now at 34 percent, Warren at 19, Sanders at 16. So Biden is at his highest number since he entered the race, Jesse.

WATTERS: Yeah, that is interesting. But here's the thing, why are donors so worried about Trump winning if all the polls, including this latest one, show Trump losing to Biden and Warren and Bernie? It just tells me that you can't trust these polls over a year out. I mean, they had Dukakis beating Reagan. They have Kerry beating Bush. It's way too early.

And Hillary loves that they're talking about her now, because she was kind of wasting away now. I mean, now, people are interested in Hillary. People are excited about the possibility of Hillary getting back in.

WILLIAMS: Am I wrong to say that conservatives --

WATTERS: I would say the New York Times reported that donors are asking about Hillary getting into the race because they don't think these guys have what it takes. But here's the thing. She did win the popular vote. She could run against Trump's record, and she wouldn't have a problem raising money. But the other thing is she's still crooked, she matches up terribly against Donald Trump, and the rest of the party isn't really behind her. And like Greg said, it's going to be an absolute mess if she jumps in.

GUTFELD: That'll be great.

WILLIAMS: What do you think --

SAPHIRE: So I'm gonna say, I have to agree with Jesse. Shocking that -- she is still crooked because the State Department came out saying no persuasive evidence of systemic deliberate mishandling of classified info regarding her e-mail, and that is just so specific. So what she's ignorant then? What they did come back they said that there were actually hundreds of security violations --

WATTERS: Five hundred and eighty eight.

SAPHIRE: During her tenure. So, either she's completely ignorant and clueless or she's a terrible leader and just has her underlings do her dirty work for her, which is why she didn't win. And, you know, Buttigieg said it best. He said the reason that she lost is because her whole message was, we have to -- don't vote for him because he's bad. But they're doing the exact same thing over and over again with their impeachment and with just trying to discredit everything that President Trump does. They're falling into their same pattern of don't vote for him, only vote for us because it's not him,

They're not really putting forth anything great that's gonna move our country forward again. I personally don't think she's running at all. I think this is all just silly. But, you know, she can't endure the thought of having another woman in the front, in the lead. So I think that -- that is why she continues to try to make herself relevant. She's not gonna run again in my opinion. But I think it just kills her that there's so many women in the field right now.

WILLIAMS: By the way, so something like the USA doctor, the fact the Democrats are saying here's a healthcare plan, Trump has none. Here's -- that doesn't strike you as a Democratic agenda forward looking?

SAPHIRE: Look, everyone has their plan. Whether or not it's actually going to be implement and work in our current society is a completely different thing. I don't care if Elizabeth Warren has a very detailed plan. I think it is nonsense. And I don't think it's gonna work if you implement it in the United States, the latest right now. So, plans mean nothing to me right now. I mean, President Trump had said it himself, I mean, healthcare is complicated.

WILLIAMS: All right. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg takes the hot seat in the Nation Capitol. He's facing intense questioning from Democrats in Congress over the political ad controversy and claims of bias. That's next right here on “The Five.”

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Democrats appeared to have a new public enemy for 2020, Facebook's CEO, Mark Zuckerberg. They want him to police the platform more, start censoring political ads including and, especially, from President Trump that they feel could tip the scales in the next election. Democrats going after Zuckerberg today on the Hill.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You plan on doing no fact checking on political ads.

MARK ZUCKERBERG, Facebook CEO: We do not fact check politicians speech. And the reason for that is that we believe that in a democracy it is important that people can see for themselves what politicians are saying.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: So you won't take down lies or you will take down lies? I think it's just a pretty, simply, yes or no.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Russia interferes with U.S. elections. You admit it that you were caught on your heels. The question is, what has been and what will be done for 2020?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: All right, Greg, we talked a little bit earlier about if you can't beat the president at one thing, then you want to take away his ability --

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: -- to communicate. Look, Republicans have some problems with Facebook as well. He did a grilling from both sides. But this issue about political speech and who should be in charge of policing was --

GUTFELD: It's also -- to that point about the fact there's a lack of innovation and creation on that side. What a contrast between one person who created something for better or worse that has impacted billions in a phenomenal way, Facebook, and you compare to these Capitol Hill clowns. Ninety percent of these relics need to be briefed on what Facebook is. I've heard Maxine Waters actually thought Facebook was an actual book filled with faces.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: Speaking of Maxine, you know, she's there talking about like promoting freedom of speech. This is the extremist who ordered her constituents to mob anyone who might have been sympathetic to Trump. So Facebook isn't the danger here when it comes speech. The growing intensity of the intolerant regressive left is coming from another side, and they're the ones that are beating up people and throwing stuff on politicians. It ain't Facebook or the people who use Facebook or the troll farms that paid a couple of hundred grand.

PERINO: Right. The ads that were paid on Facebook were like the fake bots that have been purged. And, Jesse, they say they have new securities in place to make sure that that doesn't happen again. Do you think it's possible that as things start to shift that Silicon Valley might rethink who they align themselves with and support?

WATTERS: Imagine being a genius, Dana.

GUTFELD: I don't have to.

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: Tell what it's like.

WATTERS: And being stuck in the room with a bunch of idiots. This is what that's like? This guy is a certified genius and you have a bunch of idiot politicians with no talent and no brain, as Greg said, berating him like they have any idea what's going on. These politicians should be thanking Mr. Zuckerberg. Thank you, Mr. Zuckerberg, for letting me stay in touch with my family. Thank you for creating millions of jobs, billions of dollars of wealth, revolutionizing the way human beings communicate all over the world.

But instead, they're lying and they're whining about, oh, you let Republicans lie? We're the only ones that are supposed to be up in a lie. I mean, come on. How absurd is that? And for Meeks to say, you were caught flat footed on Russia interference. Oh, I think the Obama administration was caught flat footed there, not Facebook.

GUTFELD: What's wrong with flat feet?

PERINO: Yeah, I mean, sometimes people would have a high arch.

GUTFELD: I know --

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: Dr. Nicole, tell us about that

SAPHIRE: This is an issue --

WATTERS: Do I need to wear lips?

SAPHIRE: You should. I mean, I have arches. Here's the thing, I found Maxine Waters to be so snarky with Zuckerberg that I found it just offensive. And this -- she actually said to him, oh, you think you're above the law to Mark Zuckerberg, this genius, and it was just -- I find it very ironic coming from her who had -- I think it was three ethics violations charge brought on her in 2010, subsequently dropped. However, it's just -- I find it -- I find it very despicable the way they've treated this man.

Now, you have two different issues when it comes to Facebook, you know, the market power and then his Libra cryptocurrency. You know, I personally have some concerns with the monolithic company with history of security breaches having their own cryptocurrency. However, cryptocurrency is the future. And although, I may not be there quite yet, I can barely even use my iPhone very well, I would love to see a cryptocurrency be this big come out of America as opposed to somewhere else --

PERINO: China.

SAPHIRE: Yeah, exactly.

PERINO: Juan, do you think the Democrats are going to try to push for regulations to make - try to make Facebook police speech on their platforms or maybe think, do they think that enough public pressure can be brought to bear that they would change their policy?

WILLIAMS: Well, I think Zuckerberg has said that he would like them to do this. That's what he said. That's his statement, Dana. My concern is when I listen to all of you, I think, goodness gracious, we know that Facebook was exploited by the Russians last time. Right.

GUTFELD: They did a terrible job.

WILLIAMS: We know that the Russians continue to exploit Facebook to divide us by race, by religion.

GUTFELD: Those are the Democrats, not the Russian.

WILLIAMS: Come on, Greg. So, in other words, you guys have no problem with that or that politicians are allowed to put lies out, things like that. Pelosi video of her appearing to be drunk when we know it was distorted and wrong, and Nancy Pelosi asked them to take it down. They refused. And yet you guys are like well, no, he's a genius. Well, if he's a genius, he has brought something into us that's like a germ that's been absolutely damaging to our democracy.

SAPHIER: Politicians lie all the time. Bernie Sanders--

WILLIAMS: Well, that's fine.

SAPHIER: Fact checker.

WILLIAMS: Then they should not be we - let me just say, so Donald Trump's campaign spent about $2 million to buy 1800 ads on Facebook in September, got 16 to 18. What is it about?

GUTFELD: How dare he?

WILLIAMS: A distorted version of what he did in terms of violating the Constitution that's led to impeachment. Why are those lies allowed to go out like that? That's wrong.

GUTFELD: Thank God, Liz Warren isn't lying.

PERINO: And who would police that?

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: All right. I get the point. All right. Thank you for all of that great discussion.

GUTFELD: Was it really great?

PERINO: Yes, really great.

GUTFELD: Well, I'll give it a few minus.

PERINO: Be careful the next time you curse because it could land you behind bars and that's not a joke. Greg's got the story next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: One shouldn't take crazy stuff seriously because there is nothing normal about crazy stuff and you don't want to pretend there is. Problem is, this is the golden age of crazy. Yes, this in DC.

WATTERS: Jesus.

GUTFELD: This in California. This in London. And now in Boston. State Democratic Rep. Dan Hunt introduces a bill that makes using the word, let's say, used to describe a pregnant dog punishable with six months of jail time. Now, before you dismiss this as piffle, let's not forget it made it this far from a citizen to a governmental body in a large city. In a large state. Crazy is like mold. The longer you look away, the bigger it gets.

Some people will defend this bill saying, hey, well, I don't agree. I understand words can hurt. Well no, this is what happens when you pretend crazy is never going to get out of its crazy little box. The crazies out of the box, which was the college campus, then the California legislature. Now it's spread to media, to HR, to government.

When sane people go for shelter, the crazy comes out. The socialist runs for president. Words get banned. Secret cabals undermine a duly elected government egged on by the media. And they call you crazy. No, real crazy is on the march. Crazy wants to turn math into gibberish. It wants to ditch school grades. It blocks people from going to work. It throws fluid on politicians and mobs' people at their houses, spits and punches at those for wearing hats, concocts hoaxes to incite violence, keeps the sick and drug addicted on the streets. Brands biology, a phony construct. And now they want to make insults illegal.

They also think the world's ending in 10 years with them running the asylum. Who can say they're wrong? Jesse.

WATTERS: Yes.

GUTFELD: This crime to say the B word. I'm only doing that for the producers. I would have said it, but I don't want the producers sad. You're welcome, Megan. This crime only needs to be verified by the person being called a B word and a witness. So, Dana and I could just set this up. You could say Jesse called you a B and I can say, I saw it. And then I get to sit there.

PERINO: You want to sit there?

GUTFELD: Not really, tall people.

WATTERS: If you want to switch these.

GUTFELD: No, you would go to jail for - we should do that tomorrow. Six months. You'll go to jail and you pay a fine.

WATTERS: That's true. A big fine. Now, listen, Greg, when the pilgrims landed, did they have no food? I think they said son of a - we've got to get something to eat.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Or how about Lexington and Concord? The beginning of the American Revolution where you got muskets fly. And I think some bad words were used in. The first Governor of Massachusetts, John Hancock.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Is that going to be a problem? How about this? The Patriots, you know, they're playing the Jets. Tom Brady is talking trash to the defense, making the Jets defense his, you know, what, is that going to be a problem, if that gets picked up on the mics, are they going to fine Tom, it's ridiculous.

GUTFELD: That is the sound argument.

WATTERS: Thank you. I rest my case.

PERINO: It's a good case.

GUTFELD: OK, Juan, two students were arrested at Yukon. This was another story for I think they said the N word. We have the tape. OK, but it's - let's hear the tape, because you're not going to hear anything anyway.

(VIDEO PLAYING)

GUTFELD: All right. That's good. They got arrested. But you have to agree, I don't think the First Amendment has an exception for insulting or even racist speech, right? WILLIAMS: No, no. I'm a jurist. I'm a big proponent of the First Amendment. But I will say that when you have hated speech, in other words, burning a cross on someone's lawn.

GUTFELD: That's an act.

WILLIAMS: Yes. But it's part - it's considered hate speech and it's an action. But I mean, if you said this, by the way, I mean, what Jesse's talking about with Tom Brady, you know, demeaning the defense. That's not what this is about. This is about using the language to intimidate, insult, and that's why the woman went to her politician and--

GUTFELD: What a weak person.

WILLIAMS: But to my mind, you do have words that are fighting words.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: That can cause public harm, but you can't scream fire in a crowded theater.

GUTFELD: But that's not what this is. By the way, how many people shout fire in a crowded theater? It should be illegal.

WILLIAMS: This is what happened with Westboro Baptist Church.

GUTFELD: Of course.

WILLIAMS: They were allowed to hold a protest at a military funeral because they opposed the military's acceptance of gay people. But you know what, at some point the courts did say, hey, you know what, you can't interfere, and you've got to stop. You're demeaning people in the midst of expressing their grief.

GUTFELD: You know what's interesting about Westboro as repulsive everything was, at least they set a standard. It's like that's the one you always - it's like that is so patently awful.

PERINO: Right. And it's obvious.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: It's obvious.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: So, and what's ironic too is that you have a state like Massachusetts where you have and it's bipartisan, but mostly it's been coming from the Left that you should reduce jail time.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Yes. Good point.

PERINO: But now they want to increase jail time.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: For this person. And also, you listed all the places where this has originated and then has infected all of our places. But you forgot the United Kingdom.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: This actually happens in Britain. You can be arrested because just you ever heard us talking and then now and then - then we're frog marched out of Fox News in jail.

GUTFELD: That'll be fun and also - or get screwing up on pronounce.

PERINO: And their list is not just the B word, their list is anything.

GUTFELD: You miss gender.

PERINO: That's right. You can go to jail.

GUTFELD: And Canada too. But Dr. Nicole, swearing is therapeutic. It's stress relief.

SAPHIER: Actually, it is cathartic, everyone. Yes, it is cathartic. And actually, there have been many small studies that shows it releases endorphins and stress relief and all the other things. This is encroaching on the First Amendment. It's a broad overstretch for disorderly conduct. And I think they need to stay away from First Amendment rights.

WATTERS: Remember when Dana cursed on the show?

GUTFELD: Oh, yes. You know what she was saying?

PERINO: But truth is a defense.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: It is?

SAPHIER: I don't trust people that don't curse anyway. There's something non-authentic about that.

PERINO: When a guy takes an alligator and tapes his mouth and runs around a convenience store scaring people. He should be called that word.

WATTERS: That word.

GUTFELD: What was that word?

WATTERS: What was that word again?

PERINO: A word?

WILLIAMS: Somehow, I don't think he'd be intimidated.

GUTFELD: Yes. All right. The Fastest 7 is next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

SAPHIER: Welcome back. Time for the Fastest 7. First up, liberals have a new plan to save the planet. It's called flight shaming. They're demanding travelers go on flight diets and want others to promise they won't fly at all in 2020. So, Juan, I'm going to start with you on this one. Three percent of greenhouse emissions are from air travel. But this is their big push. This is how they're going to save the world by telling people you can't, if you really want to support our planet, you can't fly.

WILLIAMS: I don't think they're saying that, Nicole, I think no one's saying take a train to Hawaii. I mean, it's crazy, right? But I think what they are saying is you should be aware--

WATTERS: Isn't that what they said in the Green New Deal, Juan.

WILLIAMS: I think that's in your fantasy about when you try to demean the Green New Deal.

WATTERS: OK.

WILLIAMS: But I think that what people when I look at these numbers in fact, it's a very small number of travelers who constitute most of the air travelers in the country, and they're flying around all the time. And I think people just wanted to be aware of it. In fact, at this table, Nicole. We have made fun of Hollywood stars who get on private jets and go zipping around--

PERINO: Yes, because they try to shame us for--

SAPHIER: Because they're shaming everyone else for traveling, but yet they're flying private.

WILLIAMS: There you go.

GUTFELD: No. I mean that's the problem with this stuff, is that we are being told our worth by people who are basically doing everything that they are condemning. These people seek to deprive joy and other people's lives. I did this podcast with Ryan Streeter about how activists have no friends. This is why, because all they seek worth from depriving joy of others. If they were given a free first-class flight to Tahiti, they'd be on it in a second, but not before condemning you for not having, you know, an electric car--

PERINO: Flying to Denver to see your mom.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: Oh, yes. That's exactly the problem.

SAPHIER: Jesse.

GUTFELD: It is.

WATTERS: For those of you unfamiliar with Europe, a lot of the travel takes place via train.

GUTFELD: That is true.

WATTERS: So, it's not like going from New York to Florida or New York to Denver.

GUTFELD: But tunnel by the way.

WATTERS: Do they do?

GUTFELD: They do. It's a tunnel.

WATTERS: Across the channel.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

WATTERS: So, it's easy for them to go on a diet when they can just zip across through a train.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: No sacrifice.

SAPHIER: Dana, do you think this is more of a political stunt just to get more media attention?

PERINO: I think it is a little bit. And also, it's also a great way for some green companies to make money. Right. So, they'll say, you could offset your carbon footprint by paying us. And then those turned out to be schemes and scams don't fall for those things.

WATTERS: When you get paid not to fly.

PERINO: Well, you pay them because you take a flight and you feel guilty about it. So, I'm going to pay you and then you're going to go plant a tree. And that offsets my carbon.

WATTERS: That's how it works.

SAPHIER: We do need trees. All right. Well, next up, a reporter fired after shocking viewers with this life stunt at a car show.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No one is out here to tell me which car, I can't go in because, you know, some of these are off limits, so I'm just going to - I'm going to live on the wild side. So, when you think about this post right here, Tina, right here on the Thunderbirds. I hit that other car.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Are you kidding?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Nobody's looking. Look, hold on. Save. Zoom in here.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Leave your name and number.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And there's no pink.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Leave your name and number on the dash.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

SAPHIER: OK. So, the guy apparently damaged one of the classic cars. And the TV station had to apologize, and he got fired for this. So, Jesse, tell me, do you think that this is just pure stupidity and it warranted being fired? First of all, would you do this?

WATTERS: I would never do this. You know, sometimes when you're in the field, you have to create drama. You know, I've never been guilty of that. But sometimes you have to go. Gonzo is what they call it and make the story about yourself. And, this guy is just - he has no integrity.

GUTFELD: You know, what's funny? What so wonderfully idiotic when he says, no one is here to see this in front of a camera crew. So, he's not very bright. I bet they were waiting to fire him for something. But I'm not mad at that guy. See, I own these kinds of cars and I'm mad at the people running the show, because if I'm trusting my car with the guy managing it, it's his job to keep the idiots away from the cars. So, it's not his fault. He should have been fired.

WATTERS: You can't jump on a car like that.

GUTFELD: Yes. Where are the people watching - where is security?

SAPHIER: Exactly. I agree. I mean, I do find it interesting that he picked the pink car. That was the one that he really focused on and that he likes the most.

WATTERS: Are you making a diagnosis?

SAPHIER: Pink is a great color. But I mean, come on. It was just idiotic. All right, guys. Well, finally, delicious chocolate chip cookies could be as addictive as hardcore drugs. Well, a study found that the effects of sugar and sweets appear to be stronger than those of cocaine. I have my doubts. However, I do love a chocolate chip cookie. What do you think, Juan?

WILLIAMS: Look, you're looking at a sugar addict. I love sugar. I love ice cream. I love chocolate chip cookies, especially if I go to somebody's house and you can smell. It's just amazing. But sugar is addictive. Do you agree?

SAPHIER: Sugar is addictive.

WILLIAMS: OK.

SAPHIER: Chocolate.

GUTFELD: All right. Can we stop this? If we're going to do this segment and we're saying that chocolate chip cookies are more addictive than cocaine, and we only bring out the cookies. We only--

PERINO: I know because I've never seen it.

GUTFELD: I know you've never seen it.

WATTERS: Here's what we're going to do.

GUTFELD: Come on. This is half the segment.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: We're going to crush up some of the crumbs, OK, and then Greg, you can cut them up and finish it.

GUTFELD: I don't know what you mean.

SAPHIER: That's a terrible idea.

WILLIAMS: Yes. And Dana has no idea what--

GUTFELD: Snorting cookies.

WATTERS: Snorting cookies.

PERINO: What are you talking about.

SAPHIER: Needless to say, you have to choose one, I highly recommend you choose a chocolate chip cookie. One More Thing is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: It is time for One More Thing. Dana.

PERINO: Well, I would like to thank your assistant, Johnny, for finding this little cute One More Thing. This is about falling in love, watch what happen when Ben Gilbert proposed to his girlfriend over the weekend. Watch this.

(VIDEO PLAYING)

PERINO: I don't know if you could see that. On the left-hand side, he gets down to propose to his girlfriend. he is 20-year-old and he trips that little girl and the little girl's mom; it was like scolded like ruining the moment. But then, you know, the couple was very happy. They felt bad. It was a cute little moment there in Texas. And congratulations to the lovely couple. And then we have a new podcast. It's called. I'll Tell You What. And I talk all about how I thought I had appendicitis, but apparently, I don't.

WATTERS: What did you end up having?

PERINO: A grumbling appendix?

WATTERS: It sounds very official.

GUTFELD: It's a bad sign for that couple. It's not going to last.

WATTERS: You don't think so?

GUTFELD: You trip a kid when you're proposing.

PERINO: You've heard about that.

WATTERS: It's bad karma.

GUTFELD: It's bad karma.

WATTERS: Yes.

GUTFELD: All right. It is true. My podcast is up. It's with Ryan Streeter. This is a great topic. It's on the politics of loneliness. Why people who are lonely gravitate towards political activism. And it's really - it's eye opening stuff. All right. Let's do this. Animals Are Great. That they are. Won't be tripping any kids here. Look, you know, as I've been a boss in many different kinds of places. I hate employees who fake illnesses to get out of work. Well, check out this course. Jing, Jing, Jiang or Jing Yang. He doesn't like people riding him. So, he always - when people get on, he falls down and--

WATTERS: European soccer player.

GUTFELD: So, it's true. He sticks out his tongue and pretends he's dead. He's a lazy bum, this horse. Lazy, lazy bum of a horse. Look at that.

PERINO: He's smart.

GUTFELD: Yes. He's actually pretty smart.

PERINO: I love it.

GUTFELD: And that's why, Dana.

PERINO: Yes, tell me.

GUTFELD: Animals are great.

WATTERS: Animals are great. That was one of your best animals are great.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

WATTERS: All right. Last night, I was at the Second Annual New York City Rescue Dogs Rock Gala, and it was co-chaired by Lara Trump and Georgina Bloomberg, where they rescued dogs that are in kill shelters and then they give them out to owners. And they've already rescued 1500 dogs this year and they raised about $50,000 last night. And I almost ended up taking out this little dog home with me until they told me it would grow up to be 60 pounds. And then someone else took off.

GUTFELD: So, you ate it.

WATTERS: And we have Martha tonight, Wednesday with Watters. There he is, everybody. There he is. Juan.

WILLIAMS: All right. So, you've heard of pumpkin latte. You've heard of pumpkin pie. But have you ever heard of a pumpkin boat? Yes, it's possible. Take a look at this video, folks. This is Justin Ownby in Tennessee, he hollowed out a 910-pound pumpkin and turned it into a boat. And as you can see, he was rowing around when he lost balance and fell into the water. That's a little bit like what happened to Cinderella's pumpkin carriage at midnight.

By the way, you should know there are pumpkin regatta races on lakes and ponds in Minnesota, Oregon, Nova Scotia. Maybe Justin will start his own pumpkin paddling contest.

GUTFELD: He's out of his gourd, Juan.

WILLIAMS: There you go.

WATTERS: All right. Nicole.

SAPHIER: All right. Well, I'd like to take a moment to congratulate my good friend Michael and his band Mayfield on the release of their new album, Prepared to Lose. For many who know I had a child in high school when it felt like the world was crumbling around me. I had this one friend who told me that I would still, that's my son, by the way, senior prom.

This one friend, Michael, told me that I would still achieve every goal that I set out for. I would just be on a little bit different of a path. And I still hear him to this day. I just wanted to share this a little bit of his album with you, guys.

WILLIAMS: I think that's great.

WATTERS: Very sweet. All right. Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of “The Five.” “Special Report” is up next. Hey, Bret.

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