Jesse and Emily hunt for the perfect Christmas tree
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}This is a rush transcript from "The Five," December 24, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
Dana Perino, co-host: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino, along with Emily Campagno, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City. This is "The Five."
Merry Christmas Eve, everyone. We're excited to have you join us for our celebration. We have tons of fun for you tonight, including reaction to our first ever Christmas grab bag of stories making headlines, a special Christmas edition of Supermarket Showdown. And, we are squaring off to see who will be crowned The Quiz Show champion. Plus, we've been waiting all year for our Secret Santa gift exchange. It's our biggest one yet. Don't miss the annual tradition. But first, there's no better way to get into the Christmas spirit than by cutting down your own Christmas tree. So Jesse and Emily went out on a little adventure to a local tree farm to show us how it's done. Take a look.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}[BEGIN VIDEO CLIP]
Jesse Watters, co-host: We're here at the Hidden Pond Christmas Tree Farm in Mendham, New Jersey, with Christian Nicholson, the owner.
Emily Compagno, guest co-host: I have to say, Christian, I'm so excited. I have never cut down a Christmas tree before. This is like a life-long dream of mine.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Christian Nicholson: Well, what you're going to realize when you get done is it's not so much about the tree, it's about the memories and about the spirit of Christmas when you come out to a real Christmas tree farm. So we're going to take a drive out to the fields, and take a look at some of the trees. Jesse, we'd like you to drive the tractor. Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
[LAUGHTER]
Emily, how about you? Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Emily Compagno: Yes, I do. All Mack Truck [spelled phonetically].
Christian Nicholson: Should have known.
Jesse Watters: Try to keep it under the speed limit.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Emily Compagno: [LAUGHS]
Christian Nicholson: That's a really nice tree right there.
Jesse Watters: What do you think the perfect tree would look like for The Five?
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Emily Compagno: Obviously, as big as possible that can fit in that space.
Jesse Watters: So this is maybe around 5-4. This is like Gutfeld size.
[LAUGHTER]
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Emily Compagno: Where's Dana?
Jesse Watters: He needs a few more years.
Emily Compagno: That's Dana.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Jesse Watters: That's Dana Perino.
Emily Compagno: This one is leaning a little to the left.
Jesse Watters: That's Juan.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}[LAUGHTER]
Jesse Watters: Some of these, actually, they're getting good if we keep walking. These are some big ones back here.
Emily Compagno: I feel like we're in an orphanage and all the kids are like, "Pick me, pick me." Like all the trees are like, "Pick me, pick me."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Christian Nicholson: You looking to adopt?
Emily Compagno: Sounds horrible.
Jesse Watters: Whoa-ho. Ho-ho.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Emily Compagno: Ooh.
Jesse Watters: This is nice. Oh, this is a taker.
Emily Compagno: Ooh, how about this one? Wait, it's a little crooked.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Jesse Watters: It's like Hillary.
[LAUGHTER]
Emily Compagno: Otherwise I think it's perfect.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Jesse Watters: I like it. I think it's got good size. It's got nice shape.
Emily Compagno: Great density.
Jesse Watters: Nice density.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Emily Compagno: Great height.
Jesse Watters: Perfect tip. Should I saw it down?
Emily Compagno: Oh, I'm kind of impressed, actually.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Jesse Watters: Timber.
Emily Compagno: Oh, God.
[LAUGHTER]
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Jesse Watters: Frazier fir.
Emily Compagno: Ho-ho-ho!
Jesse Watters: All right, let's go bag it and tag it. Emily Compagno: All right, I'm ready.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Jesse Watters: All right, here it comes.
Emily Compagno: Okay. Don't shove it in my face. Oh, great. That's so easy.
Jesse Watters: All right, Emily. We came, we sawed, and we conquered.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Emily Compagno: All right. Merry Christmas, Jesse.
Jesse Watters: Merry Christmas. Let's throw it back to the car and ride it to "The Five." Here we go. All right. In the elevator.
Emily Compagno: You're almost home, buddy.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Jesse Watters: Ah, you have the lights on.
Emily Compagno: All right. Yay.
Jesse Watters: Although got to decorate it. Producers? Let's go.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Dana Perino: Well done, guys. Not the first time you ever did that?
Jesse Watters: No, I've done it many times. That's why I sawed it so fast.
Emily Compagno: Oh, exactly.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Greg Gutfeld, co-host: Wait, how come she was driving the ATV and not you?
Jesse Watters: As we saw, I don't drive stick.
Greg Gutfeld: You don't drive stick?
Jesse Watters: Never learned. Never learned. Emily Compagno: It was a tractor, which I drove and hauling the flatbed with people on it, a bunch of people and the tree, it was awesome. That tree farm was incredible. It was my first time.
Jesse Watters: How did you -- how did you feel killing a living thing?
Emily Compagno: I felt bad. That's why I thanked the tree stump after.
Greg Gutfeld: Oh, did you?
Jesse Watters: We all -- no, we planted some seeds to, you know, replenish.
Dana Perino: Oh, really?
Jesse Watters: -- the farm. Yes.
Dana Perino: That's part of your --
Jesse Watters: We did plant seeds.
Juan Williams, co-host: All right, let me just say --
Jesse Watters: I think we did.
Juan Williams: I've done this a lot.
Jesse Watters: Yeah.
Juan Williams: But the thing is, you get the tree back, and there's still bugs in the tree.
Greg Gutfeld: Ugh.
Jesse Watters: One time my parents sawed it off in Pennsylvania, brought it all the way to Long Island, and then that night they heard my cat screaming, and they found out a squirrel had embedded itself in the tree. It escaped in the middle of the night. Emily Compagno: Oh, my --
Juan Williams: The other thing that I love about this is, when you put it in that plastic wrapping thing because, you know, initially, they -- like when they -- sometimes they do a fresh cut so that when you get it home, the tree can still absorb water.
Jesse Watters: Right.
Juan Williams: But what they do right at the end is they stick it in this plastic thing, and it reminds me of a wood chipper.
Jesse Watters: Yeah.
Juan Williams: You know?
Jesse Watters: I know.
Juan Williams: What if they put me in there? Oh, my God.
Jesse Watters: I know, I know.
Juan Williams: I wouldn't never get out.
Jesse Watters: A lot of people might want to, Juan.
[LAUGHTER]
Emily Compagno: That might be a good -- that might be a handy thing to have.
Greg Gutfeld: What?
Emily Compagno: One of those net things.
Greg Gutfeld: Yeah, the wrapping, the wrapping tube. They should apply that to other things. Like imagine just putting anything in that tube, and it comes out all wrapped up like your gym stuff. Like you're going to the gym, you just throw all your crap, and it goes "whoop splokkk" into this like little kind of mesh thing.
Juan Williams: Well, then what it reminds me of the most is at the airports now, they have luggage things that are like that.
Greg Gutfeld: Yeah.
Juan Williams: Right?
Dana Perino: Yes, they do.
Juan Williams: I think if you're going overseas --
Dana Perino: They do.
Emily Compagno: Vacuum sealers.
Dana Perino: Well, that was really super cute. Thanks for going out there to do that. We have another one --
Greg Gutfeld: Super cute, Dana?
Dana Perino: Yeah, it was super cute. So it just wouldn't feel like Christmas in New York City without indulging in some delicious deserts. There -- two people here at this table went with me to Serendipity. They have really big sweet tooths, all right? Unforgettable tasty treats. Watch.
[BEGIN VIDEO CLIP]
Dana Perino: Hi, everyone. We are at one of the best place that's New York City has to offer. There's especially no place better to be than on the holidays. We're at Serendipity, which is a famous place. And we have Chef Joe who --
[Chef Joe] Hello.
Dana Perino: -- is going to show us and tell us a bit about these iconic desserts.
[Chef Joe] Well, here we have the Outrageous Banana Split. And if that intimidates you --
Dana Perino: Yeah.
[Chef Joe] -- we have the Coward's Portion right next to it.
Dana Perino: Well, I'll give it a shot.
[Chef Joe] Yeah. Enjoy.
Emily Compagno: I've never had a proper banana split in my life.
Dana Perino: What?
[Chef Joe] Oh, no.
Emily Compagno: No, never.
[Chef Joe] Well, when my wife was pregnant, she not only wanted ice cream, she wanted chocolate fudge cake.
Dana Perino: So you would go to the store and get it?
[Chef Joe] I'm still married.
Dana Perino: Do you have a favorite dessert for Christmas, Juan?
Juan Williams: Well, my wife makes a banana cream pie that's to die for.
Dana Perino: My grandmother on my mother's side would make an apple pie, like this dessert, and there would be a cherry pie usually. But I'll definitely do something chocolate.
Juan Williams: You know what? That cinnamon ice cream is out of this world.
Dana Perino: It is. What if you -- what if you put cinnamon in your chocolate, Juan?
Juan Williams: [LAUGHS] Geez, that sounds a little looped [spelled phonetically].
Emily Compagno: What is this, like the --
[Chef Joe] It's pecan pie, butter pecan ice cream, wet walnuts topped with hot fudge, whipped cream, and almonds.
Dana Perino: Who comes up with these things?
[Chef Joe] We all do.
Dana Perino: Okay.
[Chef Joe] And I do.
Emily Compagno: Say no more, Joe.
Dana Perino: All right, thank you.
[Chef Joe] Enjoy, enjoy.
Dana Perino: Thanks, Joe.
[Chef Joe] Dig in.
Dana Perino: Ugh! Well -- sorry, making a mess at Serendipity.
Juan Williams: This is the kind of chocolate cake I like. It's nice, moist. It looks so beautiful.
Emily Compagno: Did you guys have a bite of this cake?
Dana Perino: I did have a --
Emily Compagno: If you guys could have any dessert every day for the rest of your life, what would you have? Juan Williams: If I was on death row, I think I'd take this Broadway.
Dana Perino: Really?
Juan Williams: It's pretty good.
Dana Perino: You want the ice cream and the cheesecake at the same time?
Juan Williams: You know I'm going to be a fat man. You're going to make fun of me.
Dana Perino: No. You have the best -- you have the best metabolism of anybody.
[Chef Joe] It's the Frozen Hot Chocolate. That's our iconic drink topped with a mountain of whipped cream, shaved chocolate.
Dana Perino: Thank you.
[Chef Joe] Enjoy.
Dana Perino: All right. Okay, you're going to love this the most out of all of them. Watch.
Juan Williams: Oh, my God.
Dana Perino: [LAUGHS]
[END VIDEO CLIP]
Jesse Watters: You know what I noticed? Greg wasn't in any of those. Where were you?
Greg Gutfeld: I was busy. I'm not a big fan of watching people eat. Sorry. It's like kind of grosses me out. It's like you know in movies, whenever they have scenes -- or it's usually like they're -- people go to lunch, and they're all talking when they're eating, it's like, "You don't need that. Just don't have -- Jesse Watters: Well, they tell politicians, "Never eat on camera."
Greg Gutfeld: Yes, exactly. Although you all did a good job eating on camera. Nothing was dripping down.
Emily Compagno: No, we did a good job.
Jesse Watters: Do you appreciate that constructive criticism?
Dana Perino: Yeah. Appreciated that. I mean, it is an amazing place, Serendipity. And they actually have their own line of ice cream, and they gave us some here. I got the Outrageous Banana Split. You can get these in lots of stores.
Jesse Watters: So, Juan, I have the one you liked, the Forbidden Broadway Sundae.
Juan Williams: Man, let me tell you something, it's awesome.
Jesse Watters: You want to switch?
Juan Williams: Awesome. But this isn't bad, Salty Carmel Pretzel --
Jesse Watters: Oh, I like that. I'll switch --
Juan Williams: You know what they say about the American diet? Salt and sugar.
Jesse Watters: That's it.
Juan Williams: That's all you need.
Dana Perino: But every time -- everything they -- everything they said that day, Juan would say, "Oh, that's my favorite." "Oh, no, that's my favorite."
Juan Williams: I'm a -- I'm an ice cream guy. I love it.
Jesse Watters: And, you know, Juan, the best part, zero calories.
Juan Williams: Is that right?
[LAUGHTER]
Check your eyeballs.
Emily Compagno: I thought that was such a wonderful place. It was so special. I've heard about it for so long, right? The movie "Serendipity" was filmed, all about it and it was great. And on the walk home, I was literally, like, it was like being drunk off sugar but, and high at the same -- my heart was beating, like, so fast and I had to breathe through it because I had so much --
Dana Perino: It makes you realize what children feel like, right?
Emily Compagno: Yeah [LAUGHS].
Dana Perino: When they have, like, a sugar high?
Emily Compagno: Yeah, exactly.
Greg Gutfeld: Like diabetics.
[CROSSTALK]
Emily Compagno: It was crazy.
Juan Williams: You know, you've heard of, you've heard of "Breakfast," --
Emily Compagno: Forfeit [spelled phonetically].
Juan Williams: -- "at Tiffany's?"
Emily Compagno: Yes.
Juan Williams: But I think "Dessert at Serendipity" --
Jesse Watters: Oh.
Juan Williams: -- is pretty cool for Christmas, let me tell you, because it's --
[CROSSTALK]
-- like a child's wonderland, but except I don't see, we didn't see many kids in there because the adults are all -- and they have --
Dana Perino: The frozen hot chocolate --
Juan Williams: -- it costs --
Dana Perino: -- you can buy in a powder and I sent some up to the ranch for this Christmas --
Juan Williams: Oh, did you?
Dana Perino: -- for my little cousins.
Juan Williams: Oh.
Emily Compagno: Nice.
Dana Perino: Have a good time. We are all set? Everybody good?
Jesse Watters: Yeah, me and some ice cream.
[CROSSTALK]
Dana Perino: We have more to come?
[CROSSTALK]
All right, eat up. Coming up, our amazing Secret Santa reveal that you do not want to miss. I am very excited about this one. But first, we're weighing in on some festive topics in Christmas grab bag with Emily when The Five returns.
[music playing]
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
Emily Compagno: Welcome back. It's time now for our Christmas grab bag of holiday topics. First up, mall Santas beware: Video chat companies are now offering families the chance for their kids to virtually chat with Old Saint Nick from the comfort of home. Juan, do you think, what do you think about this? Do you think it should replace the experience? I took Duchess [spelled phonetically] to take a photo with a sleigh this week at a mall and it was wonderful.
Juan Williams: I agree. So, I don't know, people who watch this show know I just recently showed pictures of my grandkids at the mall with the Santa. And in fact, it was funny because the Santa remembered them from the year before.
Dana Perino: Cute.
Juan Williams: But I think the objection here --
Dana Perino: Did it work [spelled phonetically]?
Juan Williams: -- and this goes way back in my family life -- is you have to stand in line if you go to the mall Santa, and sometimes the line can be, like, inexorable. Like just the line goes on, and on, and on, and on. But it's all part of the family tradition. It's like, "Yeah, we go through this." It's like going to the Thanksgiving Day parade here in New York where there's these big crowds and it's sometimes cold and windy, and even icy or snowy. But you're standing there, and then the floats come, and memories are made. So, I think the comfort of home, maybe for a disabled child, I get it. But beyond that, this is laziness.
Emily Compagno: Oh.
Jesse Watters: A friend of mine in his 30s just decided to make a little extra cash for the holiday season and became a mall Santa and just sat there, had kids sit in his lap, and collected a lot of cash for the holiday season. So, if you're looking for a little side hustle around this time of year, it's a great opportunity.
Dana Perino: I like it that Santa is not afraid of technology and just rolls with the times, like not afraid to get on the video chat --
Emily Compagno: Yeah.
Dana Perino: -- Skype it up.
Emily Compagno: Yeah, totally.
Dana Perino: I'm for that.
Greg Gutfeld: Well, you know I don't like children. So, if I were -- this would be the way I would do it if I were Santa. I was a shopping mall Santa --
Jesse Watters: Were you?
[CROSSTALK]
Greg Gutfeld: -- in Cherry Hill at the, at the mall in Cherry Hill.
Jesse Watters: New Jersey?
Greg Gutfeld: Yes. Yeah.
Emily Compagno: Wait, how could you --
Jesse Watters: That's a good one. Wait.
Emily Compagno: -- but you hate Christmas.
Greg Gutfeld: I did it for Good Morning America.
[LAUGHTER]
Jesse Watters: Oh.
Greg Gutfeld: I went to, I went to Santa school and became --
Jesse Watters: But --
Greg Gutfeld: -- a Santa there and I was reprimanded for drinking because during --
[LAUGHTER]
Greg Gutfeld: -- we were --
Jesse Watters: -- wait.
Greg Gutfeld: -- we were filming.
Emily Compagno: I feel like this is --
Greg Gutfeld: We were filming and I thought like, "Okay, I'll take a break and go to lunch." So, I went to the -- they have great restaurants in Cherry Hill that, wherever that place is -- and I had pizza with two, maybe three glasses of wine. And when I got back --
[LAUGHTER]
Greg Gutfeld: -- and these are real honest to God Santas with the real beards.
Emily Compagno: Oh my god.
Greg Gutfeld: They're like, they don't take it, they don't treat it lightly. And they could smell it and they were like, "You can't do this."
Jesse Watters: You were in character, Greg. That's what Santa does.
Greg Gutfeld: Yeah.
Jesse Watters: Takes a little nip.
Emily Compagno: [LAUGHS]
Greg Gutfeld: No. No, no. They will, they will -- the alcohol thing, they will not, they will --
Juan Williams: Are you sure this isn't that movie "Bad Santa?"
Emily Compagno: Yeah, I was just --
[CROSSTALK]
Emily Compagno: Sounds like "Bad Santa."
Greg Gutfeld: It actually had, it actually ran on Good Morning America, like, almost 20 years ago.
Jesse Watters: All right. Someone pull that clip.
Emily Compagno: Amazing.
Dana Perino: Yeah, totally.
Emily Compagno: All right. Up next, we all look forward to doing Secret Santa here on The Five. But apparently, not everyone is a fan of the Christmas tradition. Some millennials say that they want to ban the gift exchange because it triggers anxiety for them at work. Greg, to you first.
Greg Gutfeld: It is -- well, what doesn't trigger anxiety for me?
[LAUGHTER]
Put this in a long line of things. I don't like it because it's just like you have to figure out how much to spend without offending somebody. And frankly, that's what assistants are for.
Emily Compagno: Oh my gosh.
[LAUGHTER]
Dana Perino: I like it because I love coming up with ideas for people for gifts.
Emily Compagno: Yes.
Dana Perino: Yeah, I like it.
Emily Compagno: Jesse.
Jesse Watters: Yeah. And you put a limit on it so people like Greg, who make tons and tons of money, don't feel uncomfortable.
[LAUGHTER]
Emily Compagno: Juan, what do you think?
Juan Williams: Well, I guess if -- there is some anxiety. It's like in New York you have to give money to the doormen or to the people around --
Dana Perino: They deserve it.
Greg Gutfeld: The garbage man.
Juan Williams: No, no -- or the garbage. That's everybody, that's in every town.
Greg Gutfeld: Yes.
Juan Williams: But yeah, Dana, they do deserve it, but it feels like, "Well, exactly how much am I supposed to give?" It's like a tip, you know. A tip in a restaurant, you know, 20 percent, whatever, right? But now, with this, it's like hmm. But now, I don't mind at work, it's just, to me, an acceptable part -- and people say anxiety -- I think it's part of life.
Greg Gutfeld: No, it's not.
Juan Williams: No?
Emily Compagno: [LAUGHS]
Greg Gutfeld: No, it shouldn't be part of life at all. We should not be doing this. We should not have other customs foisted upon us. We should say, "No."
Juan Williams: But what about being part of the group, Greg?
Jesse Watters: He doesn't want that.
[CROSSTALK]
Emily Compagno: [LAUGHS]
Jesse Watters: He doesn't want that. And you know what, the group doesn't want it either.
[LAUGHTER]
Greg Gutfeld: It's true.
Emily Compagno: The little bah humbug. All right, up next: A surprising trend under the tree this year. Many people are using Christmas gifts to send passive-aggressive messages. Some of the top so-called "take the hint" presents include deodorant or cologne, gym memberships, and self-help books.
Dana Perino: [LAUGHS]
Emily Compagno: This kind of goes with the Peloton -- Peloton?
Jesse Watters: Peloton.
[LAUGHTER]
Greg Gutfeld: It's guillotine.
[LAUGHTER]
Emily Compagno: Whatever. Kind of -- you know what, going -- it kind of goes with that, right? What would you do if you woke up and had, like, that, one of those gifts --
Juan Williams: If I --
Emily Compagno: -- under the tree?
Juan Williams: -- oh, one of those?
Emily Compagno: Yeah.
Juan Williams: Well, I would take it as a passive-aggressive act if someone gave you deodorant [LAUGHS]. So that if someone gave you deodorant what are they trying to tell you right. I mean but the other I noticed they also had mouthwash and toothbrushes.
Jesse Watters: Who does that?
Juan Williams: Right.
Emily Compagno: That sounds terrible that's a little.
Jesse Watters: My parents my whole life gave me floss, toothbrush and Listerine.
Greg Gutfeld: Oh it was like, you went to the dentist, when they give you the little pack.
Jesse Watters: That's right.
Juan Williams: That was Christmas day.
Jesse Watters: I think that was I think they were telling me something.
Emily Compagno: Oh, gosh Dana.
Dana Perino: I don't like this idea at all. Nope only if they've asked for some like a cologne, I think, or perfume usually that's something because somebody has something that they would like and you should get that for them but don't do this.
Emily Compagno: Yeah.
Greg Gutfeld: I think that it depends on what you're trying to get them to do. To become a smarter, more well-rounded person purchasing my book, the Gutfeld Monologues, putting it in a stocking would be quite good. But like, yeah, I think it's wrong to give people any overt, you know, hints about their hygiene.
Emily Compagno: Yeah.
Greg Gutfeld: You know, Emily.
Emily Compagno: All right up next, the principal of an elementary school in England under fire for banning students from sending each other Christmas cards because of environmental concerns. Instead, he suggests one card be sent to the entire class to help save the planet. Juan yes or no?
Juan Williams: Sure I don't you know I can see why we're doing this is because everybody in America, at least in my family, we send Christmas cards. We love it right. But I think that this is an effort that's partly educational to say to people, we should need to be aware of how, in fact, we contribute to global warming and I'm all for that. I think people should be aware it's not any.
Greg Gutfeld: You just put a plot in cutting down a tree.
Juan Williams: Yeah, but that's in fact, that was a Christmas tree farm it built and grown for that purpose...
Greg Gutfeld: More like a camp for living trees.
Juan Williams: Is that right.
Jesse Watters: And we're going to use it to make paper.
Emily Compagno: I get much I get fewer Christmas cards now than I have in years past. I think people have gone to their electronic versions. I don't have a problem of that.
Juan Williams: By the way, you know what I got I get all the time now is paperless, invitations that come in the e-mail.
Dana Perino: Wow you're a popular guy.
Juan Williams: Well I but you know what you know what, Dana, I'm also an old guy, so I'm always like when they don't open this thing.
Jesse Watters: Did you get the White House Christmas card? It's this big it's huge.
Female Speaker: Really.
Greg Gutfeld: Talk about a humble brag. Hey um did you guys get the White House Christmas card. Oh, no, oh well I you wouldn't like it it's so big and the handwriting is just so it's so hard to read Donald's handwriting, Don. I mean, the president I call Don when we're alone. You are so blatant.
Jesse Watters: It just came up in conversation.
Juan Williams: You know what that's a passive aggressive. It's like deodorant as a Christmas gift.
Greg Gutfeld: Yes that was good.
Emily Compagno: All right you guys don't go anywhere our Secret Santa gift exchange is coming up but first, we're going to face off in a Christmas edition of Supermarket Showdown. Stay with us.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
Jesse Watters: Greg you're so just in the mood I can.
Greg Gutfeld: No I just hate Christmas.
Jesse Watters: I can feel it.
Greg Gutfeld: We know this already.
Jesse Watters: Wow try to control yourself. All right welcome back, everybody time for our special Christmas edition of Supermarket Showdown. All right just in time for Santa's big night we're battling it out over some of the prices of our favorite Christmas items and whoever guesses the closest without going over is the winner. Just a reminder, I don't know the answers in advance. All right first up, we have Elf on the Shelf. Everybody knows what this is.
Dana Perino: You get the DVD, too.
Jesse Watters: Let's not explain too much about what this is but the Elf on the Shelf. Everybody write that down.
Emily Compagno: I've never gotten one of these right. This will be a first time.
Jesse Watters: All right prices up, people.
Dana Perino: 45 dollars.
Emily Compagno: Whoa.
Dana Perino: What are you talking about?
Emily Compagno: Usually, I'm the one that's bigger.
Jesse Watters: I don't know I'm just guessing, 29.99.
Emily Compagno: That's me you guys I manifested I got it I got it.
Juan Williams: You got it.
Jesse Watters: All right act like you've been there before Emily.
Emily Compagno: Oh.
Jesse Watters: All right.
Emily Compagno: I knew all along.
Jesse Watters: Next up, we have a peppermint bark. Looks like 150 calories per serving and a nice tin can. Everybody prices up ok here we go. And the price is what.
Juan Williams: What it is.
Jesse Watters: 9.97.
Juan Williams: Oh my god.
Emily Compagno: Wait.
Dana Perino: I said 6.99.
Emily Compagno: I won again.
Jesse Watters: Way to go well you know what, I cheated, and I will admit I cheated it said 19.95 on the back of the thing.
Juan Williams: Where.
Jesse Watters: Yeah look see Juan the same number you wrote.
Juan Williams: All right I guessed 20 bucks I tried to stay under.
Jesse Watters: And they dropped it off taxes all right moving along.
Dana Perino: You guys are such Patriots and Astros traitors.
Jesse Watters: All right Fox News knit hat. This is definitely made in America we hope.
Female Speaker: This is.
Greg Gutfeld: What do you get that.
Jesse Watters: Very warm you get it at was it at Fox News.com/shops.
Greg Gutfeld: I don't know.
Jesse Watters: Something like that.
Dana Perino: Okay.
Jesse Watters: All right, prices up, people. Dana.
Dana Perino: I mean, it's worth everything. Honestly --
Jesse Watters: All right, everybody up? Okay. You guess the same thing every time, Emily.
Emily Compagno: No, I don't.
Jesse Watters: Thirty dollars.
Dana Perino: What?
Emily Compagno: What?
Juan Williams: [LAUGHS]
Emily Compagno: No way!
Jesse Watters: Did Emily get it again?
Emily Compagno: You guys, let's -- anything before on this game show.
Jesse Watters: You do love to shop, Emily. That is true.
Juan Williams: Go.
Emily Compagno: -- over every single one. This is amazing.
Juan Williams: What about actual value?
Jesse Watters: I was actually closest for the record. I was just over.
Juan Williams: What about actual value?
Emily Compagno: But it doesn't matter.
Greg Gutfeld: No, just like ratings, it's twice as costly as CNN.
[LAUGHTER]
Jesse Watters: All right. Baby shark puppet. What is the baby shark puppet, by the way? Do we know what that is?
Greg Gutfeld: No idea. And it's -- people with kids know this.
Juan Williams: What are you -- how can you not know what the baby shark is?
Emily Compagno: Like an actual puppet?
Jesse Watters: All right.
Emily Compagno: Is it an actual puppet or just a stuffed animal?
Jesse Watters: Can someone sing the song for us just to get us in the mood?
Juan Williams: Baby shark.
Greg Gutfeld: There you go.
Jesse Watters: Juan, you've got to keep going. All right, everybody, prices up.
Juan Williams: Oh, I don't know. Let me see here.
Emily Compagno: Oh, we both guessed the same.
Jesse Watters: Wow, Greg.
Dana Perino: Wow, you think it's that much?
Greg Gutfeld: I -- I haven't bought a stuffed animal in about two years.
Dana Perino: In about two weeks?
Jesse Watters: 14.88.
Dana Perino: All right.
Jesse Watters: Did I have it? Juan Williams: Wow, there you go.
Emily Compagno: I had, guys.
Jesse Watters: Emily has it again.
Emily Compagno: This is insane.
Juan Williams: Go, Emily.
Greg Gutfeld: You cheated.
[cross talk]
Juan Williams: Wait, how did she cheat now?
Emily Compagno: I didn't cheat. I promise I didn't cheat.
Jesse Watters: They say this plays music.
Emily Compagno: I'm just as a champion.
Greg Gutfeld: Don't cry.
Jesse Watters: I was just going --
Juan Williams: [LAUGHS]
Jesse Watters: All right. And now our final item --
Emily Compagno: Now I know what winning feels like. Jesse Watters: -- an inflatable Santa.
Emily Compagno: I didn't know.
Jesse Watters: This is the, you know, lawn ornament that you see around the holidays that your neighbor has that you feel like's bringing the property value down in the neighborhood. Yes, the same inflatable Santa. There it is. Greg, what just --
Dana Perino: The baby shark was singing.
Greg Gutfeld: The shark was singing, and I didn't want to have to like end up getting yelled at.
Jesse Watters: All right. Inflatable Santa. This is a runaway anyway, Emily. We can't even --
Dana Perino: There's no way, Emily. No way.
Jesse Watters: Eighty dollars?
Greg Gutfeld: I don't know.
Emily Compagno: Well, he -- because we're from the West Coast.
Greg Gutfeld: Yeah.
Jesse Watters: 1348.
Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS]
Jesse Watters: Any -- everyone's over.
Dana Perino: I was -- Greg Gutfeld: Nobody deck rates anymore.
[cross talk]
Jesse Watters: You know what? It doesn't matter.
Emily Compagno: Oh, we all went over.
Greg Gutfeld: Yes.
Jesse Watters: Emily --
Greg Gutfeld: You're the winner.
Jesse Watters: -- you are the winner of Supermarket Showdown.
Emily Compagno: Yes!
Dana Perino: Well done. Congratulations.
Greg Gutfeld: The winner, by the way, every year, the winner has to buy all of us dinner tonight.
Jesse Watters: Ha-ha, yeah.
Emily Compagno: Chic-fil-A coming up.
Greg Gutfeld: No.
Jesse Watters: So you shouldn't have cheated. That's right.
Emily Compagno: I didn't cheat. Jesse Watters: Yeah, I'm going to look at your phone in the break.
Emily Compagno: Oh, my gosh.
Jesse Watters: Up next, we're squaring off in a brand-new quiz show. And later, it's Santa's favorite thing, Secret Santa. We're going to reveal that later.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
Greg Gutfeld: Welcome back. We're ready for a Christmas quiz faceoff. Sounds kind of gross.
Dana Perino: Ouch.
Greg Gutfeld: Tom Shillue is back to test us like he does on Fox Nation's fantastic quiz show. Fox Nation, if you don't have it, you should probably get it.
Tom Shillue: Absolutely.
Greg Gutfeld: Tom, let's go.
Tom Shillue: Here we go, question number one.
Dana Perino: Now I'm short.
Tom Shillue: Three of Santa's reindeer names begin with D. What are those names? Donner, glitzen and dancer; Dixon, dasher, Donner; or dancer, dasher, Donner? Put up the boards, A, B, C.
Greg Gutfeld: Why, you said it so fast.
Emily Compagno: I know.
Tom Shillue: Is it Donner, Glitzen and Dancer; Dixon, Dasher, Donner; or Dancer, Dasher, Donner? Go quick, guys because this is an easy one. And your up there. And the answer is C.
Dana Perino: I'm proud that I didn't know that.
Tom Shillue: It's Dancer, Dasher, Donner. Don't you know the song, Dana?
Dana Perino: I can't sing it in my head right now.
Tom Shillue: Question number two, In what year was the first Christmas tree put up at Rockefeller Center? Was it 1981, 1931, or 1959? First Rock Center Christmas tree.
Greg Gutfeld: Doesn't even matter.
Tom Shillue: It does matter. This is -- this is American history, Greg.
Greg Gutfeld: Oh, this is a guess. This isn't intellectual.
Tom Shillue: Certainly, it's a guess. I need an answer. There we go. And the answer is B --
Dana Perino: No!
Tom Shillue: -- 1931.
Dana Perino: Ugh!
Tom Shillue: Emily.
Greg Gutfeld: So these guys think there's -- oh, yeah, like you knew it, Jesse.
Tom Shillue: Jesse seemed to know it. Jesse Watters: It was obvious that it wasn't C because that was the last one.
Greg Gutfeld: No, they don't work that --
Jesse Watters: -- the SATs, Greg.
[LAUGHTER]
Tom Shillue: Here we go, question number three, what is the most popular Christmas song of all time, top seller? White Christmas by Bing Crosby, Please Come Home for Christmas by the Eagles? Or This christmas by Donna --
Emily Compagno: Wait, as measured by what?
Tom Shillue: -- Donnie Hathaway.
Greg Gutfeld: Yeah.
Tom Shillue: As measured by it's popular in all categories.
Emily Compagno: Like singles?
Tom Shillue: Singles, yes, money, the whole deal.
Dana Perino: I'm going --
Tom Shillue: Juan, I need an answer.
Emily Compagno: -- with a classic.
Juan Williams: Oh,.
Emily Compagno: Oh, look. Are we all the same?
Tom Shillue: And the answer is A. You all got it right.
Emily Compagno: Nice!
Tom Shillue: White Christmas by Bing Crosby.
Emily Compagno: Team A.
Greg Gutfeld: Yeah.
Tom Shillue: Sold around 15 million copies. How many ghosts are in a Christmas Carol? I need it quick here. Is it 7, 3, or 4? Quick. How many ghosts in Christmas Carol? How many ghosts? Put it up there. 7, 3, or 4. The answer is C, 4. Juan is the only one to get it right. Don't forget Marley's ghost.
Emily Compagno: Ah!
Tom Shillue: Marley with the chain. Oh, the longest chain of all. Question number five, what year was Christmas made a federal holiday? Was it 1795, 1870, or 1900? Federal holiday. This is a good question, and a good question to stump some of you. The answer is B, 1870.
Emily Compagno: Ah!
Dana Perino: Hey.
Tom Shillue: Wow, not your day on the quiz show.
Emily Compagno: No.
Tom Shillue: Emily. Okay. [LAUGHTER]
Jesse Watters: But she smoked everybody at the Supermarket Showdown.
Juan Williams: You should have come earlier.
[cross talk]
Juan Williams: She was the winner. She did a shutout.
Tom Shillue: Which country -- from which country came eggnog? From which country did egg -- is it England, Germany, or the United States? Where did we get the nog? And the answer is A, England.
Dana Perino: Gosh.
Tom Shillue: Wow.
Dana Perino: I'm really horrible.
Tom Shillue: Thought it was the old USA I guess, huh? Okay, next question. In what century did people start having decorated trees in their home for Christmas? 16th century, 14th century, 18th century?
Greg Gutfeld: This is like just stupid facts --
[LAUGHTER]
Emily Compagno: I like doing this.
Greg Gutfeld: This is not based on any knowledge.
Emily Compagno: I'm learning a lot. We're learning a lot.
Tom Shillue: -- and the answer is A. Dana.
Jesse Watters: Dana.
Tom Shillue: Nailed it.
Dana Perino: See, Jesse, when you take the SATs, you've got to --
[LAUGHTER]
Tom Shillue: Here we go. How about this one? When did the tradition of leaving cookies and milk for Santa start? Was it the 50s, the 30s, or the 1910s?
Dana Perino: It's not the 30s, obviously.
Tom Shillue: When did the kids start leaving --
Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS]
Tom Shillue: -- cookies and milk?
Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS] The 30s.
Male Speaker: This -- let's -- I need an answer here.
[CROSSTALK]
Tom Shillue: And it was during the Depression, the 1930s.
Dana Perino: No way.
Tom Shillue: Yes, people --
Dana Perino: Did they even have cookies?
Emily Compagno: You're literally getting every single one wrong.
Tom Shillue: You wouldn't expect it. People became more generous and --
Greg Gutfeld: Because this is not based on anything other than pure luck.
Jesse Watters: No, Greg, it's because she can't cheat on this one.
Tom Shillue: -- do we have a tie?
Emily Compagno: Oh my gosh.
Tom Shillue: I have, I have a tiebreaker question if we have a tie. I don't know what the scores are.
Emily Compagno: Okay.
Jesse Watters: What's the score?
Male Speaker: Well, our producers will tell us.
Jesse Watters: Oh.
Male Speaker: Who thinks they're in the lead? Juan, you think you're in the lead.
Emily Compagno: Okay.
Tom Shillue: Juan is, Juan is --
Dana Perino: Juan won.
[CROSSTALK]
Jesse Watters: Juan is in the lead. Juan is winning.
Greg Gutfeld: He always wins.
Tom Shillue: Juan is the winner.
Juan Williams: She won the supermarket shelf game.
Jesse Watters: Yeah, but you usually win that.
Juan Williams: That's true.
Emily Compagno: [LAUGHS]
Greg Gutfeld: We don't need a tiebreaker.
Tom Shillue: We don't.
[CROSSTALK]
Greg Gutfeld: So, meaning we all won.
Emily Compagno: What was it --
Dana Perino: Yeah.
[CROSSTALK]
Male Speaker: The tiebreaker is 1.76 billion candy canes sold every year. That's the answer.
Dana Perino: 1.76 billion?
Emily Compagno: Oh.
[CROSSTALK]
Juan Williams: I think that's the amount that dentists get in January.
[LAUGHTER]
Greg Gutfeld: All right. Tom, thank you so much, if that's your real name.
[LAUGHTER]
The week is almost over. Our Secret Santa gift exchange when we return.
[music playing]
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
Juan Williams: Welcome back. You know, this is the moment everybody's been waiting for, our Secret Santa gift exchange. Some people do it on Christmas Eve night, you know, and that's what we're going to do here on The Five. So, let's get started with Miss Emily Compagno.
Emily Compagno: Okay. Do I get to give my gifts?
Greg Gutfeld: Yeah. What's the, what's -- is she giving or getting?
Emily Compagno: But wait --
Juan Williams: No, I think you're getting.
Dana Perino: You're getting. You're getting.
Juan Williams: You should open your gifts.
Emily Compagno: -- oh.
Juan Williams: Open your gifts.
Greg Gutfeld: Yeah.
Jesse Watters: Yes.
Greg Gutfeld: You open the first one in front of her, right?
Juan Williams: No, no, no.
Emily Compagno: That's not --
Juan Williams: That's not hers.
Emily Compagno: -- that's Juan's. So, first of all, I totally love the wrapping because it's cars with dogs in them.
Dana Perino: Okay.
[LAUGHTER]
Emily Compagno: What? Am I supposed to be faster?
Greg Gutfeld: Open it.
Juan Williams: Here, do you need, do you need this?
Emily Compagno: God.
Juan Williams: Oh my gosh.
Emily Compagno: This is horrible. You guys are really mean to me all the time. This was supposed to be the best one.
Juan Williams: Let me help you. Let me help. Here. There you go.
Jesse Watters: What'd you get?
Emily Compagno: Now I think I know who this might be from. It is a fart launcher.
[LAUGHTER]
Jesse Watters: Hold it up.
Greg Gutfeld: See what it is. It actually launches a stinky --
Emily Compagno: For God's sake.
Greg Gutfeld: -- smell so you'll always think of me --
Dana Perino: [LAUGHS]
Greg Gutfeld: -- when you have it.
Emily Compagno: Which I will because on Greg's show last week he asked me if I was going anywhere after the show and I said yes, and then he shot this in my face.
[LAUGHTER]
Juan Williams: And you know, it's true --
Emily Compagno: Thank you, I guess. Thank you.
Greg Gutfeld: Yes.
Juan Williams: -- and then he asked me if he should give you perfume for Christmas.
Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS]
Jesse Watters: Okay, Gregory.
Greg Gutfeld: No, there's more.
Juan Williams: Oh, there's more. There's more.
Greg Gutfeld: Right? She has some other gifts.
Dana Perino: You get another gift. Okay, hopefully --
Emily Compagno: Aw, Febreze.
[CROSSTALK]
Greg Gutfeld: Here it comes. Here it comes.
[CROSSTALK]
Emily Compagno: Is that real?
Jesse Watters: Yes.
Greg Gutfeld: Look what's in it, it's a head shot.
[LAUGHTER]
Who cares about the car.
Emily Compagno: And it says, "You're welcome, Greg." That's amazing.
Greg Gutfeld: It's a replica of your dog and a replica of your car.
Emily Compagno: [LAUGHS]
Greg Gutfeld: And a picture, and a replica of me.
Jesse Watters: The car's worth more than the head shot.
Emily Compagno: I mean, this is probably the most, like the coolest gift I've ever gotten, the car.
Greg Gutfeld: By the way, this is something --
Emily Compagno: And then the --
Greg Gutfeld: -- you should probably keep in your house. There are no, like, cameras in it at all. I could stress that enough.
Emily Compagno: -- [LAUGHS].
[LAUGHTER]
Thank you. Thanks, Greg. This is so awesome.
Jesse Watters: Greg, you're not supposed to say that.
Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS]
[CROSSTALK]
Greg Gutfeld: Yes.
Dana Perino: All right.
Juan Williams: But I like the idea that the photos in it for you. But this is also for you, Em.
Greg Gutfeld: Oh.
Emily Compagno: Wait, no.
Juan Williams: Oh, I thought it said Emily.
Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS]
Emily Compagno: This is for later.
Juan Williams: Oh, okay. All right, so --
Male Speaker: All right. Greg, look up your --
Juan Williams: -- oh, Gregory.
Greg Gutfeld: Yes, yes.
Juan Williams: Oh, wonderful child. Lift up, your turn.
Greg Gutfeld: Okay.
Dana Perino: Here's your gift right here.
Greg Gutfeld: Oh.
Dana Perino: [LAUGHS] What do you think of the wrapping paper on that?
Greg Gutfeld: The wrapping paper's totally awesome. I can't believe you got this wrapping paper. It's fantastic because I've never had seen wrapping paper like this --
Juan Williams: [LAUGHS]
Emily Compagno: Greg, you're such a scrooge.
Greg Gutfeld: Oh.
Jesse Watters: Oh, that looks expensive.
Greg Gutfeld: A mechanical keyboard --
Greg Gutfeld: -- inspired by a typewriter. This is like a real gift.
Dana Perino: This is, could be a real gift.
Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS] I can't open it.
[LAUGHTER]
Juan Williams: Here, you want a scissor?
Greg Gutfeld: Oh, there it is.
Juan Williams: Okay. All right.
[CROSSTALK]
Greg Gutfeld: Wow. What is this?
Jesse Watters: That looks expensive.
Greg Gutfeld: I've never seen this before. Look at this, people.
Emily Compagno: Oh, wow.
Dana Perino: Yeah.
Juan Williams: Does it go clickity, clickity, clickity, click?
[CROSSTALK]
Jesse Watters: Yeah.
Juan Williams: It'll sound like an old newsroom.
Greg Gutfeld: Oh, this is going to drive people crazy.
Dana Perino: It's going to drive people crazy, but -- okay, I was your Secret Santa. Okay.
Jesse Watters: Oh, nice.
Dana Perino: See, you put your laptop right here.
Greg Gutfeld: [affirmative]
Dana Perino: And then you can, and then it wirelessly connects.
Jesse Watters: No way.
Dana Perino: So, when you're writing your books, you have to make, like, all the noise --
[CROSSTALK]
Greg Gutfeld: This is going to drive my wife nuts.
Dana Perino: Ding. And then ding --
Emily Compagno: What a great gift.
Dana Perino: -- ding. And it connects to all your computers.
Greg Gutfeld: This is fantastic.
Dana Perino: Do you like it?
Emily Compagno: That's perfect.
Greg Gutfeld: I love it. Thank you so much. I don't deserve this.
[CROSSTALK]
Dana Perino: That's probably true.
[LAUGHTER]
Dana Perino: Oh, I hope you like it.
Greg Gutfeld: I will. No, I'm going to --
Dana Perino: Do you have an iPad?
Greg Gutfeld: -- no, but I'll get one.
Dana Perino: Or just something like that.
[LAUGHTER]
[CROSSTALK]
Greg Gutfeld: Well, I have a laptop, though. Is this only for iPads?
Dana Perino: I don't know. I don't think so. I think it works with everything.
Greg Gutfeld: I'm going to use this on the, on the airplane.
Dana Perino: Oh, that's going to --
Greg Gutfeld: Just to piss off people like you.
Dana Perino: -- that's going to drive people crazy, it is.
Juan Williams: You know what I like? The name, Qwertytoys [sic].
Greg Gutfeld: Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what that means?
Emily Compagno: Yes.
Juan Williams: You know what --
Dana Perino: Really qwerty?
[CROSSTALK]
Emily Compagno: That's the top five on the left side of the keyboard.
Juan Williams: Yeah.
Dana Perino: It plugs into your computer as well --
Emily Compagno: Yes.
Dana Perino: -- they're telling me in my ear.
Greg Gutfeld: Oh, fantastic.
Emily Compagno: Oh.
Greg Gutfeld: How'd you --
Dana Perino: And it has a, and it has a return bar function, so you can go --
Greg Gutfeld: -- oh, this is going to be amazing.
[CROSSTALK]
Greg Gutfeld: By the way, I'm finishing my new book, which is a self-help book --
[CROSSTALK]
Jesse Watters: Two book plugs in one show.
[LAUGHTER]
Dana Perino: All right. This is -- I'll try to do it fast because there's three things. Oh, tennis. Oh, with The Five -- oh, that's so cute -- with The Five and the Daily Briefing.
Greg Gutfeld: Tennis cloth [spelled phonetically].
Dana Perino: Just what I always wanted.
Greg Gutfeld: What is that -- oh because you play tennis.
Emily Compagno: That's tennis?
Dana Perino: Well, I try to play tennis. I mean, I'm not really good at it.
Greg Gutfeld: Who is your --
Dana Perino: This is number two.
I don't know but I think it's gonna get colder here.
Greg Gutfeld: That was a good gift.
Jesse Watters: Oh, wait here try this side.
Dana Perino: Oh.
Greg Gutfeld: Oh, my God it's Gwyneth Paltrow's head. Hey.
Emily Compagno: Oh, my God.
Dana Perino: That wasn't funny.
Jesse Watters: Oh there's a flap, thank you.
Juan Williams: Oh, look at this this is perfect for Dana. Perfect.
Greg Gutfeld: Holy crap. [CROSSTALK] That is fantastic.
Dana Perino: Is this from you Jesse?
Jesse Watters: Yes.
Emily Compagno: Oh that is pretty good gift.
Greg Gutfeld: I love it. [CROSSTALK] brand of queso.
Dana Perino: A very good gift.
Emily Compagno: Oh my god that's hilarious.
Dana Perino: Pretty good gift you know what I'm going to make this year for the Super Bowl?
Jesse Watters: What?
Dana Perino: Reservations? Oh, and that's so funny. It's like modeled off of the other one.
Jesse Watters: That's right.
Dana Perino: Aww Jesse and Rookie.
Emily Compagno: So funny.
Dana Perino: I love it.
Jesse Watters: That's a bit perverse here.
Dana Perino: We are going to have a lot of queso so...
Jesse Watters: Yes, I think the biggest scandal of the year.
Dana Perino: Thank you so much.
Jesse Watters: Yes. Yes. If only if only you could trend on Twitter. I need scandal like that.
Juan Williams: All right, Jesse, you're up. It's Christmas for Jesse.
Jesse Watters: Am I opening this here.
Juan Williams: Yes. Yes. Yes.
Greg Gutfeld: Beautiful wrapping job.
Dana Perino: I really like the box.
Juan Williams: Oh, be careful be careful.
Jesse Watters: Wow a bonsai tree.
Juan Williams: But Jesse...
Jesse Watters: And it's not dead.
Juan Williams: But Jesse that's because it's plastic.
Jesse Watters: Oh, I thought it was real.
Juan Williams: Because you had some trouble with Bonsai's and we want you to have one that you'ss always have.
Jesse Watters: Thank you Juan.
Juan Williams: It will always be with you.
Jesse Watters: Fake trees my favorite.
Juan Williams: All right and now, Jesse here's another here's something to keep you warm in the winter chill,.
Jesse Watters: OK. [unintelligable] what is this?
Juan Williams: It's a sweatshirt Jesse but...
Jesse Watters: I think there's something. What does that say?
Juan Williams: Mom text mom text. Oh, yes.
Jesse Watters: Yes I like that that's great.
Dana Perino: You're gonna have to wear that one.
Jesse Watters: Thank you Juan that's a good one.
Juan Williams: By the way, my son has mines and I had the same issue. So I thought, you know what? I think it's millennials that love Bonsai.
Jesse Watters: You don't even need to water it.
Juan Williams: You don't even but that's for you. Jesse.
Jesse Watters: Thank you very much.
Juan Williams: All right here I go all right. Here I going to I'm told this can't go on the floor. Oh, here we go here we go. Oh, my gosh. It's a sweet tooth spot. Party time.
Dana Perino: Wow.
Emily Compagno: Wow that's a big egg.
Juan Williams: Oh, my gosh and it's even got big league chew.
Jesse Watters: That's the good stuff.
Emily Compagno: For the biggest sweet tooth that we know Merry Christmas.
Juan Williams: Yes. Well, thank you guys.
Emily Compagno: This will last you at least through January.
Juan Williams: Wow, sweethearts.
Dana Perino: I have one extra gift. Here you go.
Emily Compagno: You have...
[CROSSTALK].
Greg Gutfeld: Dana you're jumping the line.
Dana Perino: I thought we were running out.
Emily Compagno: Where's the one is this for you Juan.
Juan Williams: No no it must be that.
Dana Perino: Where is the one.
Jesse Watters: Let me guess is it.
Juan Williams: The box in front of Emily.
Dana Perino: Here it is here it is Juan has one more.
Juan Williams: That's my ... ok ok here we go.
Jesse Watters: Just tear it right off.
Juan Williams: I'm trying. I'm trying. All right here we go.
Jesse Watters: Oh, my God.
Juan Williams: It's a [unintelligable].
Dana Perino: And I got a matching one for myself because we're besties.
Juan Williams: We'll can take a trip we can take a trip. This is much now.
Dana Perino: This is totally awesome so we have to wear this at the same time and take a picture.
Juan Williams: I would love it.
Jesse Watters: Oh my god.
Juan Williams: But, you know what.
Jesse Watters: This is so bad.
Juan Williams: You know, last year you guys impressing me because last year Jesse gave me the snowflake outfit. I really look at this. And this year look at this I am so cool thank you Merry Christmas.
Dana Perino: I'm passing this down a little extra for everybody.
Juan Williams: More and more more Dana is so generous.
Dana Perino: And there we go.
Greg Gutfeld: More booze.
Juan Williams: All right.
Emily Compagno: Can we all wait at the same time.
Jesse Watters: Jasper vino.
Juan Williams: Oh, look, I got Jasper in a spacesuit.
Dana Perino: It's all the same.
Juan Williams: Dana that was sweet. Thank you.
Jesse Watters: Thank you Dana. Great.
Juan Williams: All right. Well.
Greg Gutfeld: Oh look Cabernet Sauvignon 2017.
Juan Williams: All right we're taking a quick break from here because this is too good. More Santa's secret fun when The Five's Christmas special returns. Stay with us, please.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
Dana Perino: Welcome back to our Christmas Eve special we are having fun with our annual Secret Santa Gift Exchange. Emily, you chose some really, you know, masculine colors there for you and Juan.
Emily Compagno: Well, it's totally 80s because tracksuits are totally. I think we look great.
Jesse Watters: They're gender fluid.
Dana Perino: They look pretty good but Juan you look good in anything, though.
Juan Williams: You're very kind do you think we look like Miami Vice?
Jesse Watters: Yeah.
Juan Williams: Or Pixies? Yes we could dance.
Emily Compagno: We need to then sunglasses.
Dana Perino: How excited are your children and grandchildren for tonight?
Juan Williams: You know what this is such a special day but I know if I say that Greg's going to make fun of me, so I have to be a hard skeptic you know, a cynic.
Greg Gutfeld: You guys look like you're kind of like fitness instructors at a timeshare time.
Juan Williams: At a timeshare?
Greg Gutfeld: Yes, at a timeshare right. They're kind of like are always hanging around looking for clients.
Dana Perino: They're like activities directors.
Greg Gutfeld: Yeah but they're like they're they don't have enough any clients.
Dana Perino: You see them at the pool at 7 a.m.
Greg Gutfeld: Yeah, they're hanging out.
Juan Williams: What Is a movie where the guy is skating with the girl and they're like a duo but it's like a comedy.
Emily Compagno: Oh oh, God toe pick toe pick remember and she said, where I come from we stand for the national anthem, honey. Yes. Yes. The guy that was in the movie where he was going to die aliens. Come on, work with me Greg.
Greg Gutfeld: I have no idea. You left me in the dust.
Emily Compagno: Toe pick toe pick.
Juan Williams: I don't know but it looks like we're a professional ice skater.
Emily Compagno: We do yes.
Greg Gutfeld: You've aged out of the Olympics and now you're like...
Emily Compagno: Coaches. These are such compliments.
Greg Gutfeld: You're like, you know those magazines that have seminars on ages of seminars you have a seminar.
Dana Perino: Merry Christmas, everybody, here at "The Five" and to you. That's it for us. We will see you back here tomorrow. We have a Christmas Day fan mail special for you. Merry Christmas, everyone.
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