This is a rush transcript from "The Five," August 16, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: Hello everyone. I'm Juan Williams along with Emily Compagno, Jesse Watters, Dana Perino and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5:00 in New York City and this is “The Five.”

This is a Fox News Alert. The autopsy report for Jeffrey Epstein has just been released. The New York City medical examiner saying it was suicide by hanging. This comes less than week after the convicted sex offender was found dead inside his jail cell here in Manhattan as he awaited trial. Bryan Llenas is standing by with brand new information. Bryan?

BRYAN LLENAS, NATIONAL CORRESPONDENT: Hey, Juan. We have been waiting for this autopsy report since the autopsy was done on Sunday. The chief medical examiner here in New York said that they needed more information before coming with the result and this is what we know. The chief medical examiner is saying that this was a suicide by hanging inside of his jail cell inside of the Metropolitan Correctional Center.

A source telling "The Daily Beast" further details here that the marks left on Epstein's neck show that it wasn't marks from a rope but from a fabric which would be consistent with the reporting that we have been seeing here from "The New York Post," which had reported that Epstein committed suicide by wrapping a bed sheet around his neck and tying to it a bed bunk.

And now, we're going to get more details here as we move forward, but there was a lot of speculation over the last few days when the "Washington Post" had come out with their reporting that the medical examiner had found that there were multiple bones broken including the hyoid bone.

And there are some speculations back and forth because that hyoid bone can be broken in hangings but it is much more clearly seen in situations in which somebody dies from homicide strangulations. So that is why there was back and forth here.

We'll find out as soon as we get this autopsy report which bones were in fact broken. That's going to be important. But ultimately, this was one piece to this puzzle. Remember, there are multiple investigations here.

This shows us the forensic evidence, but ultimately we've got the DOJ and the FBI looking into the circumstances of Epstein's apparent suicide by hanging. And we've got also the BOP, the Bureau of Prisons, that have sent an after-action team to review how the warden and the guards acted in this situation.

And we have a suicide reconstruction team which is also looking at how, in fact, he killed himself. But the chief medical examiner is saying Jeffrey Epstein died by suicide, hanging himself in the special housing unit at the MCC, guys.

WILLIAMS: Bryan, thanks so much. Good reporting. Jesse, are you satisfied?

JESSE WATTERS, HOST: No. I want to see the autopsy and then maybe I'll make my medical determination after that.

WILLIAMS: Thank you doctor.

WATTERS: But you know what this is about? This is about government incompetence at the highest level. This is the most high profile, probably one of the richest, most relevant, politically-connected individual that you have in federal lock-up right now.

He has potential connections to some of the most distinguished and politically successful people in the world. We're talking kings and princes and presidents. And they have one job, to keep him safe and to monitor him and it's been a complete and utter failure.

You're not supposed to have a bunk bed if you're fresh off suicide watch. You're supposed to have a cell mate. You're supposed to be monitored at all times by human beings and video. And the video didn't monitor him and the two guards didn't monitor him.

And the two guards aren't even really guards. They are substitute guards. So many things went wrong. Yet, the left wants to put the government in charge of the entire U.S. economy. They want to put the government in charge of everyone in this country's healthcare.

And they can't even watch one guy. So, how does that make everybody else feel that they can't do their one simple basic job, yet they want to have control over all of our lives? I don't think it's going to go very well.

WILLIAMS: All right --

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: You have to give Jesse credit. He brought this thing all the way around to the left.

WILLIAMS: What? What happened? Wait, what about Hollywood? But anyway, you are my chief skeptic of any kind of --

GUTFELD: It's basic.

WILLIAMS: Are you satisfied now that this was a suicide?

GUTFELD: The conclusion is they say its suicide by hanging. Yes, it was suicide by hanging around the Clintons.

WILLIAMS: Here we go. Wait, wait, wait.

GUTFELD: I wanted to out-Jesse -- I wanted to out-Jesse Jesse and I think I did. I think the problem -- what Jesse is talking about, there's a list of so many things wrong. And for a lot of people that looks like corruption, but for me it looks like incompetence so I agree with Jesse.

It's a lot of incompetence that should make people wonder about why would you be thinking more about what the government can do better. I have nothing to say because I knew this was -- I knew this was suicide.

WILLIAMS: You knew it was suicide?

GUTFELD: Yes, I mean, I just don't --

WILLIAMS: Wait a minute. But you also like conspiracy theories.

GUTFELD: No, I don't.

DANA PERINO, HOST: No, he doesn't.

GUTFELD: I'm anti-conspiracy --

WATTERS: You do.

WILLIAMS: I don't -- I don't --

WATTERS: What was Russia?

WILLIAMS: Russia. You and I can't talk about that. Dana, what do you make of this?

PERINO: Well, I do think that the attorney general apparently was furious, of course. And he was asking for updates every three hours. He wanted accountability. He wants to figure out what's going on because he knows.

Like, the Justice Department and the U.S. Attorney's Office, they were the ones to be prosecuting this case and this happens on their watch. In some ways, like, if it had been homicide then you could say, okay. Now, the government wasn't as incompetent as it turned out to be.

And this is just really high stakes. I feel bad for the victims, of course, terrible for the victims. I think that the prosecution, they're going to try to do other things. I think it's going to be really hard and we can turn to Emily on this.

But, you know, now there are new lawsuits against the estate. There is multiple victims. Everything is going to get tied up and I anticipate that this will probably just be a really long, hard slog and that those victims will not get any sort of closure.

WILIAMS: Well, before we go to the legal aspects that remain, Emily, you've dealt with people in jail. Are you satisfied now that this was a suicide and that the conspiracy theories about the -- was it the hyoid bone -- really was, you know, a flight of fantasy?

EMILY COMPAGNO, HOST: Sure. I mean, I accept the results of that -- of the autopsy 100 percent. And unfortunately, this is just one more case of an inmate killing themselves. I've seen them kill themselves with their own jeans, with gowns, with the sheet -- anything possible, and bones break because it's a really horrific way of dying.

And it's certainly not optimal. It's not that you're not hanging from a high -- a really high part. So, there's a lot going on there. Because it has been officially ruled a suicide, it means the estate of Epstein can sue the federal government and the officers that represent the state in that case.

The standard for that is deliberate indifference. I have read a million cases where it does not make it past the initial stage and the guards have fallen asleep and they fail to do suicide watch, et cetera, et cetera, because deliberate indifference is a really high standard.

Secondly, those remaining legal cases, I think, you know, a lot are pretty obvious. But it's important to note that Ghislaine Maxwell might be a huge source of information for the government. And so rather than she being the next target, she might be the next very important figure that they want to keep happy and extract as much information as she can provide and she might get off with a lighter --

WATTERS: But don't you need to threaten her with hardcore jail time in order to extract that information?

COMPAGNO: Yes. If she has something to offer, then she will want something in return. And if that means reduction of sentences, obviously she's not been indicted, charged, or named as a co-conspirator, but she certainly the defendant in the civil suits alleging her to be an abuser as well as orchestrator.

WATTERS: Where did they find her?

GUTFELD: In and Out Burger.

WATTER: In and Out Burger.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes. She had a cheese burger and fries.

PERINO: Were they animalized?

GUTFELD: I have no idea.

WILLIAMS: But you know what it struck me about this picture, which was in the papers today of her at this --

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: She looked relaxed and like --

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: -- I was thinking in myself, wait a second. If she was in hiding and some photographer showed up, right, wouldn't she have freaked out?

GUTFELD: It's the California weather. Everybody there is --

WILLIAMS: Oh.

GUTFELD: -- no matter what they're doing. They're just -- everybody looks relaxed.

PERINO: Eating cheeseburgers.

WATTERS: But you eat when you're nervous, right?

GUTFELD: Yes. What?

WATTERS: You eat when you're nervous.

GUTFELD: You eat when you're nervous, that's true. I do. I know I do.

WILLIAMS: Or do you think it could be that she is setting herself up, Dana, so that she is no longer seen as someone who's been in hiding and that she has anything to fear. She's just out having a burger.

PERINO: I have no idea how this woman thinks. But in an interview that she apparent apparently did and "Vanity Fair" ran it this week, she's very flippant about what had gone on. She has said some things I think are super inappropriate and offensive so --

WILLIAMS: Wait, give me a clue.

WATTERS: What did she say?

WILLIAMS: Yes.

PERINO: Well, first of all, she said that all of the accusers are lying. And also she said nobody cares about them because they are trash.

WILLIAMS: Wow.

PERINO: All right, so there's that.

GUTFELD: How ironic though that she's not having a cow by having a cow.

GUTFELD: Doctor, you struck again.

PERINO: You should clap for him.

WILLIAMS: Yes. So, but I think that she in fact is being sued by some of the victims.

COMPAGNO: Right, she is being sued by them, and both for as an enabler of the forcible -- alleged forcible rape and also sexual assault that happened, and orchestrator of it as well as an actual participant. And to speak to your point about incompetence to you, believe me, I've spent hours dealing with the BOP.

And notwithstanding the hard work obviously by men and women in uniform. It is riddled with incompetence.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: Every day, I get something that reminds me of the incompetence stemming from it and it's throughout the entire government.

GUTFELD: And the promise, unlike something like the DMV where the general public has to deal with it --

PERINO: it goes everyday.

GUTFELD: -- we don't have to see the prisons so we don't actually care. But it is just like the DMV except their people in prison that can't get out.

COMPAGNO: Totally.

WILLIAMS: Wow.

COMPAGNO: And the thing is, for so many people that deal with them on a daily level, they have no recourse and like there are just families of people that are incarcerated. Like for example, everyday citizens who've done nothing wrong, who have the small window into what is essentially a ridiculous organization, and then the people that are incarcerated see it every day, all day. But stay tuned for those investigative results.

WILLIAMSL: But, it's interesting, most people at the table seem to think that with the autopsy report is to be taken seriously, that it was suicide. I don't think it will stop the conspiracy.

PERINO: Wow, Juan, you seem surprised.

WILLIAMS: Well, I am pleased. I am pleased. All right, we're going to have more on the breaking news of Jeffrey Epstein's autopsy report in a moment. But the medical examiner, again, has ruled it suicide.

Up next, President Trump going after Democrats, and his 2020 rivals now reportedly have a plan to beat him. Details ahead on "The Five."

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: It's a battle of big ideas in the fight for 2020. President Trump ramping up the rhetoric and going after his Democratic rivals including Joe Biden after a report saying allies want the former V.P. to scale back his schedule because of his gaffes.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: You have Pocahontas who is rising. You got Kamala -- Kamal is falling.

(CROWD BOOING)

You got Beto -- Beto is like, gone.

I think Sleepy Joe may be able to limp across the finish line. But today they announced that they're going to cut way back on his appearances because he is such a disaster.

You have no choice but to vote for me, because your 401(k), down the tubes, everything is going to be down the tubes. So, whether you love me or hate me, you got to vote for me.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: While Trump unleashes those attacks, Democrats are taking a much different approach to try to win the White House. The "Washington Post" pointing out the candidates are promising to offset voters, "anxieties and concerns with a return to normalcy via a president who is everything they believe Trump is not -- measured, predictable, responsible -- or at its most reductive, they're offering an unofficial pledge to Make America Boring Again."

Here are some of the 2020 hopefuls vowing to act the opposite of Trump.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIPS)

REP. SETH MOULTON, D-MASS., PRESIDENTTIAL CANDIDATE: I'm not going around doing crazy things just looking for viral moment.

SEN. MICHAEL BENNET, D-COLO., PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I said the other that, you know, if you elect me president, you count on there being two weeks to go by when you don't need to think about what I'm doing.

JOE BIDEN, D-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: My name is Joe Biden. I'm running, for this case, running for president of the United States. Look me over. If you like what you see, help out, if not, vote for the other person.

SEN. KAMALA HARRIS, D-CALIF., PRESIEDNTIAL CANDIDATE: We are just tired of what we've been seeing. It is tiring.

(END VIDEO CLIPS)

WATTERS: OK, so Dana, I want to ask you about the two strategies.

PERINO: OK.

WATTERS: One, the advisors' belief that maybe Joe's great in the morning but in the afternoon he gets a little tired, so they're thinking about scaling back his schedule. And two, what do you think about the Democrats trying to be boring?

PERINO: OK. I think that the strategy of having Biden do less, if you're worried about poll numbers, is probably good because he had maintained his poll numbers at the highest levels until he started doing more appearances.

WATTERS: Right.

PERINO: And then as he started doing more appearances, he started to slip. And also because others are ramping things up, like Elizabeth Warren, her organization is really good. So, if they think that it will help him be able to maintain until he gets to a general, I not know.

I don't think that speaks well to the idea of how he would do mano-a-mano against President Trump. So then the question of electability I think is asked again. But his poll numbers have stayed pretty high even though he has made some gaffes, but they have started to slip.

On being boring, again, I guess in some ways -- I think that most people are like, look, there's going to be a chunk of people, about 35 percent of the country that are going to be out there chanting four more years and they can't get enough and they would -- they just love it and they can't wait for the president to be re-elected.

Then you're going to have like 35 percent saying we've got to have a return to normalcy, we can't take this anymore.

WATTERS: Yes.

PERINO: And then I think that the swing voters are going to be -- if you look down at this choice, as he said, love me or hate me.

WATTERS: Right.

PERINO: You have to choose me because they'll say, well, it's only four more years, right? Like, let's just do four more years.

WATTERS: It feels like a lot longer than four years for Juan.

WILLIAMS: Help, help, help.

PERINO: Well, what is the alternative?

WATTERS: Juan, did you want to say something about the strategies?

WILLIAMS: Well, on the first point, I think the opposite of what the Republicans call Trump derangement syndrome, which they attach to anybody who is concerned about Trump is, Trump anxiety syndrome. And I think the psychiatrist and the psychologist have all said, yes, people are more anxious with Trump in office.

I mean, just this week, Trump goes -- he went after the Federal Reserve, he went after, I think, he advised Israel to bar those two congresswomen from entering their country. Nobody ever saw a president ever do that before, you know.

Even Republicans, Marco Rubio. Kevin McCarthy said, "oh, no, no, that's not a good idea." A lot of people, even the Jewish community said not a good idea, don't do that. I mean, it never stops with this guy. And so of course people are going to say, we'd like to get back to normal.

WILLIAMS: I just don't know if that's an inspiring message. I think what's going on is --

GUTFELD: Biden 2020, America needs a nap. OK, so let's talk about this.

WILLIAMS: How about America needs a break from him.

GUTFELD: No, but I want to address this and I'll show you the hypocrisy in this idea. The boring approach is based on a fact that Donald Trump can be exhausting. He's packed 12 years into three years and we know that the right and the left understand that, but now that Democrats know how we feel.

They hate waking up every morning having to face the news of Trump. Every morning they have to deal with Trump. Well that's what it's been like for a conservative or Republican for the past 40, 50 years. Modern leftism has injected politics into every part of our lives.

Sports, entertainment, sex, gender, our kids, we're suffocating under leftism. It's everywhere. Everyday we wake up, we're faced with it in our culture. So now we finally got somebody who's throwing it back in your face, everyday.

He said, oh, you want to pick on us? Well, screw you. And it goes back to that polarization myth that the media keeps talking about. Oh, these are polarizing times. It's only polarizing times because finally the second pole showed up --

WATTERS: Right.

GUTFELD: -- for the longest time there was only one tent pole. It was -- the left owned the ball, they owned the stadium, they owned the field, they entertained, the academia, social media. Now you got a guy who is saying I'm here and I'm going to -- I'm the other pole.

Now they go, oh, it's polarizing -- almost swear. But I'm telling you, this is all garbage. This is all garbage. They are mad because they have to fight. It's about time.

WATTERS: It's a great point.

COMPAGNO: Benching Biden is just that to me, kind of screams of him being in trouble and he needs a time-out. So to me it's a public admission of a failure. And he reminds me of the family Volvo we had growing up, which was a station wagon. It had 300,000 miles on it.

It's not inspiring anybody. It's just getting you from A to B. But it plays into that larger conversation of are Democrats going to vote with their heads or their hearts? And with their heads in the past where they were playing it safe and falling in line, it was disaster with Kerry and Gore and Dukakis. Or maybe this time around, obviously, it's kind of a tossup what's going to happen in the general.

And I think it's funny that people like Dick Harpootlian in South Carolina are hosting fund raisers and saying, "well, something to be said for two white guys going at it. It's not about Medicare. It's not about the green new anything. It's about getting this juvenile narcissist out."

They are freaking out. And in my response to what you were saying about them saying, well, Trump is exhausting, he's always in the news, I feel like it's when people say that I go too fast in life and like sorry, not sorry you can't keep up.

PERINO: Yes.

WILLIAMS: Wait, wait, but this is --

GUTFELD: Nicely done.

WILLIAMS: You know what? I think you had the rally last night in what you just said. But the fact is even as he says vote for me even if you hate me or love me and the economy will sink if you don't vote for me. You know what? The Fox poll this week showed like two-thirds of America says he's tearing us apart as a country. That's very real.

GUTFELD: That was actual -- that was an actual poll? They said that?

WILLIAMS: Yes.

GUTFELD: They said tearing people -- is Trump --

WILLIAMS: Tearing the country apart.

GUTFELD: He's tearing the country.

WATTERS: I think the media is tearing the country apart.

WILLIAMS: Oh, absolutely. I will not --

WATTERS: -- us not included.

WILLIAMS: Oh, OK.

WATTERS: Up next, an update on the breaking news on Jeffrey Epstein's autopsy. His death has been ruled a suicide. Plus, Trump takes on some members of the squad amid a boycott battle over Israel. The latest on that, ahead.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

COMPAGNO: This is a Fox News Alert. Jeffrey Epstein's autopsy results are now out. Trace Gallagher is standing by with the latest. Hey, Trace.

TRACE GALLAGHER, CORRESPONDENT: And remember Emily, you have to remember the medical examiner finished this autopsy back on Sunday, but wouldn't release the results because she had more questions, though it remains very unclear what those questions might have been, but the medical examiner is sticking to the suicide conclusion.

And further, "The Daily Beast" is now reporting that the marks on Epstein's neck looked like those from fabric which squares with the information that Epstein tied a bed sheet around his neck and secured to it to the top bunk, which is about 5 1/2 feet off the ground.

There are reports that Epstein was found kneeling forward as if he lunged forward, kind of similar to the way Robin Williams killed himself a few years ago in Tiburon, California. We don't know if Williams broke his hyoid bone near the Adam's apple, but several medical examiners say lunging forward is as a rule, not enough force to break the hyoid.

But remember, just because he was found on his knees, experts say it doesn't necessarily mean he didn't throw himself off the top bunk or roll himself off. But this is not likely really to sate the critics because many believe this was the perfect storm.

He's placed on suicide watch. Then surprisingly, removed from the watch six days later. He's in a cell with no cameras but is supposed to be checked on every 30 minutes. Yet, on the night of his death, the guards reportedly fell asleep and leave Epstein alone for three hours. And then try on go back, falsify the records to cover it up.

Finally, the injuries to Epstein's neck appear to be more severe than what normally happens in a suicide. Really more like a strangulation. We're not saying he was strangled because the medical examiner has made the conclusion.

But consider in 2008, a Maryland teenager died of an apparent suicide in jail, but when he was found to have broken the hyoid, they changed the cause of death to homicide and it remains a mystery to this day, Emily.

COMPAGNO: Trace, thank you so much. All right, the spot continues between President Trump and some member of the squad after Israel banned Reps. Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib from entering the country over their support of a boycott movement. President Trump publicly blasting those radical Dems in supporting the ban.

(BEGIN VIDE CLIP)

TRUMP: Well, I'm only involved from the standpoint of they are very anti- Jewish and they're very anti-Israel. I think it's disgraceful the things they've said. You have lists of -- this isn't just a one-line mistake. What they have said about Israel and Jewish people is a horrible thing, and they've become the face of the Democrat party.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

COMPAGNO: Israel did reverse course after Congresswoman Tlaib asked to visit her family there on humanitarian grounds. Tlaib then rejected the offer claiming Israel is trying to silence her and is treating her like a criminal.

I find her decision personally deplorable and also, I don't understand it as a granddaughter too. I would give anything to spend one minute with all of my deceased grandparents. I don't know why there is some type of stance that she would take now, when she's--

GUTFELD: Because it's a stunt.

COMPAGNO: It is, because she hasn't said anything about the Uyghurs in the China concentration camp. She hasn't said anything about my Myanmar and the Rohingyas. So, if she's so concerned about the oppression of Muslims around the world and if she's so concerned about us trying to silence her yet how is it that she's easy using the position of a congressman here and she can legislate which seems to be a louder position than any of us have.

GUTFELD: She wrote a letter saying she dearly needed to see her very old grandmother and Israel approved. And then she said, you know what, I'm not going to do it. So, she used her elderly grandmother as a prop for a stunt.

And let's not forget that the trip that she was planning on going was put together or planned with an anti-Semitic group. So, common sense is if someone is going to your house which specifically to vandalize it or destroy it, you shouldn't have them there. And then she used her grandmother as a Trojan horse to get in. It's just disgusting.

WILLIAMS: I'll tell you what's disgusting President Trump is, President Trump going to a foreign country and saying that a member of our Congress, the American Congress duly elected can't travel to your country and our President is working against the U.S. government.

GUTFELD: I don't think it happened to what you said that.

WILLIAMS: It happened exactly. He is on there, pressuring Netanyahu making a political deal, drawing in part because he wants to make these four somehow the face of the Democratic Party.

GUTFELD: They are.

WILLIAMS: In fact, the Democratic Party, the House Majority clearly voted against all this boycott--

GUTFELD: They support her.

WILLIAMS: And divestment issues in Israel. The Democrats are strong supporters of Israel. Most Jewish people vote Democratic. Not only that you have several leading Republicans saying this was a mistake, Mr. President. The reaction has been so--

GUTFELD: So, she didn't use her grandmother?

WILLIAMS: So many corners. And you guys somehow wanted to make - let me tell you, she is posturing. I would agree.

GUTFELD: Yes, thank you.

WILLIAMS: But this is in reaction to the fact that President Trump--

GUTFELD: She planned it before.

WILLIAMS: Was acting in such an obnoxious and rude and political manner.

COMPAGNO: The obnoxious is all The Squad.

WATTERS: You know what this reminds me of when Pelosi tried to fly overseas during the shutdown from some site seeing--

WILLIAMS: Another petty act.

WATTERS: Trump said, you're going to ground your plane--

WILLIAMS: I agree.

WATTERS: And time to renegotiate this deal. This is what happened. He pulled the rug out from under her, because they were going on a fact finding mission or a diplomatic mission. They were going to cause trouble.

And Bibi said, save us all the trouble and goodbye. And you're right, the group that sponsored them is almost a hate group, if you look at research.

GUTFELD: They are.

WATTERS: They're all about.

WILLIAMS: OK.

WATTERS: Yes, Juan. And that hasn't been reported, but notice who didn't go on the trip, AOC. I wonder why. Because Nancy, when she had the one-on-one with AOC after that whole kerfuffle, she probably said you know you're a real rising star, smart woman.

PERINO: Separate yourself.

WATTERS: You need to separate yourself from the rest of those people because they're not doing you any good.

COMPAGNO: Dana.

PERINO: OK. So, support for Israel used to be a bipartisan thing. Right. And just two weeks ago or within the last week, I think 51 members of Congress, Republicans and Democrats went together with APAC and they went altogether. These two decided not to go with them.

They could have gone on that trip and decided not to. So, this was a separate thing, meant to separate. And now so there is the Trump part and people can look at the Trump part and they can argue about it.

But again, what happened with President Trump is, he's not afraid about the blowback. Don't care. He's like I don't care. But now what is happening, we're actually talking about the specific issue, about the position that they take on Israel, on the BDS movement on that. And so, he doesn't like going after President Trump on this is futile.

If you're the Democrats and you're going to have to start answering, do you agree with them? Do you agree with them? Do you agree with them? And they're all going to be asked every single time. And I still cannot think of a single day since January 1st, when the Democrats have actually been on offense on a single media news cycle.

Going into an election year with the President that said about 43 percent approval rating and they still can't do it. That's stunning.

COMPAGNO: Great point.

PERINO: Thank you.

COMPAGNO: President Trump maybe--

GUTFELD: It's OK.

COMPAGNO: Green New Deal.

PERINO: Genius.

COMPAGNO: Wild video of cops confronting the Yankees GM at gunpoint and a latest 2020 stunts to woo voters, in the Fastest 7 ahead.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Welcome back. Time for the Fastest 7. First up, President Trump maybe eying some new real estate. The Wall Street Journal reports the President has expressed interest in buying Greenland for the United States, but it's unclear if he's actually serious. Greenland is not taking it as a joke and saying the country is not for sale. I love this idea.

GUTFELD: It's a greatest idea. It's the greatest idea ever. You know what, he's a real estate developer, he's probably going to buy this country and then flip it. Probably add like a subzero fridge, some high end bathroom fixtures and some marble countertops. Right. Because that's what you do.

PERINO: All the amenities.

GUTFELD: All the amenities.

WILLIAMS: Yes. You know what I kind of agree with you on it. I think what we do is, you buy it. We put up a Trump Tower, right.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: And we give Putin the penthouse because (inaudible) right.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Now, Jesse, Greenland and Denmark said, not for sale, but that you know this was just their first reaction.

WATTERS: Right. Remember Ted Dibiase, The Million Dollar Man in WWF wrestling. Everyone has a price.

PERINO: OK.

WATTERS: We just don't know at their prices yet. You know we had the Louisiana purchase, Gadsden purchase, bought Alaska. But I think with Greenland, we just annex it, like we did Hawaii.

WILLIAMS: Wait a minute.

WATTERS: What's going to stop it.

WILLIAMS: Holy smokes.

WATTERS: What's going to stop the annexation.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: You know how we justify it, Juan?

WILLIAMS: What's that?

WATTERS: The Russians are threatening Greenland, so we need to push back from the Russians.

WILLIAMS: I thought you were going to say Mexico is going to pay for it. That's what Jesse was going to say.

PERINO: Would you like to point out anything to Jesse.

COMPAGNO: Yes, Jesse you mispronounced annex.

WATTERS: That's like--

(LAUGHTER)

WATTERS: Building like an NX. This is annex. Like a verb.

PERINO: All right, up next, an intense video of cops trying their guns on Yankees General Manager Brian Cashman mistaking him for a car thief. Watch.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Driver turn off your car. Put your hands up. Put your hands out of the window. Turn away from us. Walk backward towards us please. Understood. So, we'll talk to you in a second.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: Cashman's Jeep had been reported stolen but it turns out after it was found and returned to him, it was never taken off the stolen car registry and he then said, look, we're cool, like the cops are doing a good job and if your car gets stolen Emily, they're on top of it.

COMPAGNO: Yes, they are. What I loved about that is the choreography. I mean he was remarkably calm in the face of them basically being like and then kickball change and then turn around and pirouette like I was like gosh, if I was - I mean that would be hard to comply with as a gun was pointed to the back of your head.

WILLIAMS: Well, that's the problem, isn't it? Why do they have to point a gun at you? I mean you know an Americans. I mean I don't get it. I mean if he was a minority, I imagine people would be flipping out.

GUTFELD: You're right. Oh! My God, he said it.

WATTERS: They treated him the same, Juan. Everybody gets that treatment, if it's a stolen car.

GUTFELD: They did it to a white person.

WILLIAMS: I just said that was wrong. In other words, I'm saying don't treat people like that.

WATTERS: If that's my car that's stolen, I want the cop - if it's my car that's stolen.

WILLIAMS: If that was you, I'd say do not point a gun--

WATTERS: I'm not going to steal car.

GUTFELD: But the point - Juan hit if he was a minority, this would have been on CNN, MSNBC.

WILLIAMS: It is on Fox.

GUTFELD: No, because I pitched it.

WILLIAMS: What is wrong with you.

GUTFELD: And the reason is because I knew exactly what would happen is that if it had been a minority that CNN MSNBC, look at the police doing this again. But they can't do it with this story. So, they didn't do it.

PERINO: Also, the incompetence because it was - he told people, it wasn't stolen, but it never got taken off the stolen list.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: The cops are Red Sox fans.

PERINO: All right.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: Connecticut.

WILLIAMS: That's it.

PERINO: Finally, our 2020 candidates trying too hard to impress voters. We'll let you decide. Here's Andrew Yang showing off his dance moves.

(VIDEO PLAYING)

PERINO: That was at a jazzercise class by the way. And Mayor Pete Buttigieg going down a giant slide at the Iowa State Fair. This is kind of a rite of passage. Everybody does it. You don't like stunts.

GUTFELD: No. And you know what, Trump would never do this.

PERINO: Right.

GUTFELD: If an aide said, hey Mr. Trump would you go down the slide, he'd go, no, and you're fired. He picks things that aren't risk - the risk is minimal to nonexistent. Like he went on SNL, but he emerged unscathed and SNL got attacked for it. So, he will never like - he'll never kiss a baby. He'll never eat a giant hotdog that's too big for his mouth. All the stuff.

PERINO: I could never run for office because I couldn't do that kind of stuff, you could do it.

WATTERS: Well, you know what, he did do. He landed his helicopter at the Iowa State Fair and then gave kids rides in the helicopter. That's the move. And Yang's got moves too.

WILLIAMS: Yes, Yang was pretty good.

GUTFELD: Yang shake its thang.

WATTERS: Stop it.

WILLIAMS: He can go to a black wedding, because that electric slide is standard.

PERINO: Emily. Kickball change.

COMPAGNO: Yes. And it's all about the authenticity. Like if you do what you normally would then it's fine and it's funny and looks great. And if you don't then you know I had to turn off that video earlier because I was oh God, I was cringing.

PERINO: About the dancing at Jazzercise.

COMPAGNO: Actually, the slide.

WATTERS: The slide. That slide was not electric. Goodnight everybody.

WILLIAMS: Drop the mic.

PERINO: It's so electric. Don't go anywhere. Fan Mail Friday is next.

GUTFELD: That was a good one.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: The isolated vocals of Ozzy from Black Sabbath, only here on The Five. Fan Mail Friday. We're answering your questions. You don't get that on Special Report or Fox News Sunday which Dana will be hosting, will you be doing any Black Sabbath? Doubt it.

PERINO: I think I might. Yes.

GUTFELD: Check out Sabbath Bloody Sabbath.

PERINO: OK.

WATTERS: God.

PERINO: It's great advice.

GUTFELD: First question from Richard. Have you ever thought something would make an awesome invention then you saw it on the store shelves a year's later? Go.

PERINO: Throat spray.

GUTFELD: Oh! Really.

PERINO: Yes. Because you know when you have a dry throat.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: You kind of want lotion for your throat. Like nothing will actually get to it. And then like a couple of years later I saw it.

GUTFELD: Throat lotion, but they called the throat spray. Well done, Dana.

WATTERS: I'll leave that one alone.

GUTFELD: All right Jesse, any--

WILLIAMS: Oh! My God.

PERINO: We lost Dana.

WATTERS: Fox News Sunday, everyone.

GUTFELD: Chris Wallace is calling, says you're off the hook.

WATTERS: Emily is going to host now.

PERINO: I'm not the one.

WATTERS: I'm not the one, how many times I'm going to hear that.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: It wasn't me.

GUTFELD: All right, Jesse.

WATTERS: I had an idea and it was to have peanut butter and jelly in one jar.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: So, when you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich just one scoop and eat.

PERINO: Do you have that goober grape.

GUTFELD: Is it called goober,

WATTERS: Yes, and then I saw it in the store.

GUTFELD: It's called Goober.

PERINO: I think that existed before you were born.

GUTFELD: Yes, I think I had it in kindergarten, Juan.

WILLIAMS: I think cough drops existed before Dana was born.

PERINO: Not the same.

WILLIAMS: So, it happened to me. What happened to me, this happened to me recently because I thought wouldn't it be great if they had clothes that would cool you off when you're outside in the hot, like exercising. And then the other day I see they're now making something it has a little packet in the back. That's like air conditioner.

WATTERS: I saw that. I want it.

WILLIAMS: You want?

WATTERS: I want one. Yes, it's a great idea.

WILLIAMS: We should have gotten together.

WATTERS: You could have been rich, Juan.

WILLIAMS: We could have been rich.

COMPAGNO: The idea I had that was an original was the potholder that goes around the handle, so it doesn't have all this excess fabric and like you're messing with it.

GUTFELD: That's interesting.

COMPAGNO: If anyone know what I'm talking about.

PERINO: Yes.

COMPAGNO: Nobody. Got it. Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes. I have an idea that hasn't been invented yet. It's called double pants. It's two pairs of underpants, so you don't have to change them, you just pull one out and underneath and then you're set for the next day.

WILLIAMS: Ouch.

WATTERS: That is disgusting.

GUTFELD: Janet, what is the first thing you notice about a person. Emily.

COMPAGNO: Their expression. They're happy or smiling or angrier.

GUTFELD: Damn that's interesting. Yes.

WATTERS: Height.

PERINO: I was going to say that.

WATTERS: Sorry.

GUTFELD: You know that I learned in harassment training that height is not - you can't - height is not--

PERINO: Protected class.

GUTFELD: Not a protected class, which is BS. It should be.

WATTERS: That's what harassment--

GUTFELD: Tall people get better breaks. What do you notice, Juan?

WILLIAMS: If someone looks me in the eye.

GUTFELD: That's good. That's hard with you, Dana.

PERINO: I was going to say height as well.

GUTFELD: Yes. I was going to smiling. People don't understand, smiling is the easiest thing you can do to change the room.

PERINO: Why don't you do that?

COMPAGNO: You never do it.

GUTFELD: Because I don't need to, let them do the smiling. That's a lot of muscles in your face. What is that 300 muscles--

WILLIAMS: That's the most.

GUTFELD: I've got to rest.

PERINO: Cause wrinkles.

GUTFELD: One More Thing, up next. That was fun.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: Oh! The fun begins. Time for One More Thing. Jesse.

WATTERS: Would you like to hear the specials, Mr. Williams.

WILLIAMS: Yes, sir.

WATTERS: OK. We have a hot dog inspired Ice Cream Sandwich provided to us by Oscar Meyer. OK. So, in the summertime, you love hot dogs. Put some mustard on the hot dogs.

GUTFELD: It's wrong.

WATTERS: Now we have a bun flavored cookie with hot dog candied flavored ice cream and mustard Dejon flavored right there. And I'm going to take a bite and no one else is doing it.

PERINO: No.

GUTFELD: No. That's what you make when you're stoned.

WATTERS: Oh! My God, that's the mushroom part.

WILLIAMS: You all right?

PERINO: Is it good.

WATTERS: It's strong. Let me get the hot dog part.

COMPAGNO: Are there pieces of hot dog in that?

PERINO: Yes, there are pieces of hot dog in this.

GUTFELD: Candied hot dog.

COMPAGNO: It looks like a blizzard of hot dog.

WATTERS: Yes, that's pretty good Oscar Meyer.

GUTFELD: A hot dog blizzard.

WATTERS: I'm on Tucker tonight. I'm doing a quiz, so check that out. Also, I'm not going to wear the hat. And Watters World this weekend. We have an Epstein investigation.

GUTFELD: Oh boy.

WATTERS: And Pauly Shore is going to be joining us as well.

WILLIAMS: You know what I noticed Jesse; you went real quick right by that because you didn't like it.

WATTERS: Juan, Oscar Meyer provided us with dessert, and it is delicious.

WILLIAMS: Greg, take us out of here.

GUTFELD: All right. The Greg Gutfeld Show tomorrow at 10 PM. I've got Mark Steyn, Joe Mackey, Kat Timpf, Tyrus at Saturday August 17th 10 PM Eastern Time, be there. Time for, Animals Are Great. Let's just roll this adorable tape, shall we. It looks like these fellows are hopping mad Dana, imitating a morning TV host. This video reveals a troop of kangaroos, that's a troop, not a herd or a murder, Emily, a troop. Mad because they want their food, so they're fighting. Do you know the Kangaroos favorite food Dana?

PERINO: No.

GUTFELD: Human flesh. They eat - they feast on the flesh of humans. That's why in Australia they are considered gods. You are allowed - kangaroos are allowed to drive in Australia. And that's why--

WILLIAMS: And that's why you have doctors.

WILLIAMS: Dana is great. Here she is.

PERINO: All right. It's Friday. It's also National Tell A Joke Day. I only had three, so be ready. You guys did really well last time. Number one. Why are mountains the funniest place to travel? The funniest place to travel mountains.

WILLIAMS: A laugh track.

PERINO: Because they're hill-arious. OK. Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square. And what do you call an unpredictable camera? I'm a loose cannon.

WATTERS: Oh! Really stepped it up this time.

PERINO: Yes. I stepped it up and be sure. Yes, as Greg mentioned, I'll be on Fox News Sunday filling in for Chris Wallace and we have Governor Bullock who is candidate for President on the Democratic side. And Larry Kudlow of the White House. We're going to ask him about Greenland and we're going to figure that one out.

WATTERS: We can afford it.

WILLIAMS: Yes. Times Square. That was excellent. All right. Here's a random act of kindness as we begin a fun summer weekend. This story from the McDonald's in El Paso Texas. Look at this picture.

Hazel Kane walked into the McDonald's to buy more food after she ran out of the food, she prepared to feed hungry people on the street. Well, the food ran out and she bought $40 worth of hamburgers, but it still wasn't enough, so she asked if anyone on the McDonald's staff would help her out.

Well get ready to smile folks. The store manager Matthew Ortiz threw in 20 bucks. The staff got together and all they got together 60 cheeseburgers to feed the homeless. Hazel said, the staff was just so great. Hazel, you're making us all here smile. Thank you.

PERINO: Very nice.

WILLIAMS: Emily.

COMPAGNO: All right. Vending machines easy to get into. Hard to get out of apparently. Just ask this little guy. Look at the record. This was an outdoor vending machine at a high school. He got stuck in there obviously and thankfully the sheriff's office came. We let the whole thing like out to wherever and then they released him.

PERINO: He was probably like wait, just leave me in here. I've got a lot of - there is a lot of food in there.

COMPAGNO: Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

WATTERS: We can help you if your thing gets stuck. You can just clot.

WILLIAMS: All right. All right, Rocky. Good luck. That's it for us. We'll be seeing you back here Monday. Have a great weekend everyone.

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