This is a rush transcript from "The Five," September 12, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: So, on the 10th anniversary of 9/11, New York Times columnist Paul Krugman delivered the odious piece of dribble ever on the attack -- well, at least since the last time he wrote about it. The headline is, quote, "The Years of Shame," end quote. And no, it's not directed at radical Islam. Instead, he targets America and the, quote, "fake heroes."
Krugman claims that the atrocity has been hijacked. The sick word given that he's not actually talking about the real hijackers who killed some 3,000 Americans. No, he's referring to people like George Bush and Rudy Giuliani who he thinks capitalized on the horrible crimes. But the worst part, at the end of this column, the creep writes, "I'm not going to allow comments on the post for obvious reasons."
That obvious reason, he's a coward. I mean, why else would you ban responses? He's like a 10-year-old boy crank-calling all of us only to hang up even before he hears a response, hearing his shame for his own wickedness.
Now, I watch the memorial services and I feel sorrow for the families whose grief never really ends. But since I'm lousy at emotional reflection I usually avoid it. But at least I can summarize what many feel today in nine words: go to hell, Paul Krugman, you bearded, bitter buffoon.
Hey, Dana, there is something wrong with him. Can we pretty much agree?
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Yes, week after week, it gets a little bit more crazy. I mean, when he did that thing about like for the stimulus bill, we should to have the alien invasion, if you all remember that. I really think that the former Enron adviser who is Paul Krugman was actually making a cry of help -- cry for help and he was stuffed in a locker for too long when he was in high school.
And what he wrote -- I mean, I'm not trying to make light of what he wrote. It was despicable. I actually don't know anybody who defended it. It's also poorly written with the really dumb spelling error. So you have to wonder about the New York Times. Is anybody reading this?
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: How did it past the editors?
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: It's on his blog so maybe they don't bother to read it. It seems to me like something I would write right before I went to bed on Ambien, convoluted weird mess.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: So, they are cool with whatever he says on his blog? I mean, can you imagine? I can't imagine they are.
By the way, Krugman, you're right, he is crying out for attention. We're giving it to him. I think we should --
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: The thing I thought about it was -- first of all, I wish I could cut up all comments directed at me. But I can't do that, and not only that, you should read the e-mail. Step up and get out of the way.
The only thing I will say this -- this was terrible written piece. It was a horrible message. But the one point he did make, and I'll repeat this and not direct it at my friend Dana but the fact is that this did lead to us getting into a war in Iraq that was a mistake. It made Iran a regional power that should not have been. We never should have been in war in Iraq. We went in for the wrong reasons, but that is the only negative consequence of 9/11 as far as I see.
BOLLING: Are you making a commentary on 9/11 or Krugman's piece?
BECKEL: No, no, I said, what he said in his piece, that we went to war in Iraq as a result --
BOLLING: You're agreeing with him.
BECKEL: I say the war in Iraq is wrong. It remains wrong and it costs this country enormously.
GUTFELD: OK. I want to move on --
PERINO: So that makes somebody a fake hero?
BECKEL: No, wait, I don't make that connection at all. I did not make that connection. I'm just saying --
PERINO: You're saying the war was wrong.
BECKEL: Saying the war was wrong.
GUILFOYLE: Do you disagree with what he said?
BECKEL: Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. You guys -- buffoon is a good word.
GUILFOYLE: He doesn't let people make comments on it. Rumsfeld has tweeted that he's canceling his subscription. One of the last three people --
GUTFELD: I know Rumsfeld --
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: I'm going to practice a new thing, because I was told to do this now. It was a dumb, shikes thing to do.
(LAUGHTER)
PERINO: If you don't want to take comments, you don't have to, like you don't have to turn it off. He proactively provoked more commentary by saying, "And I'm not going to take any comments." It's just so stupid because if they just want to have taken the comments, he doesn't have to respond 'em.
GUTFELD: Yes. And also, he gets paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to take the heat for his own commentary. The fact that he crawls under a bed after he writes something is kind of bad.
PERINO: No, I think he crawled under his bed with his little Internet so that he could see all the things written about him.
GUTFELD: Yes. I want to touch on these airline scares from yesterday. There were two flights, one in which the fighter planes were scrambled to assist this plane to land in JFK. It turns out it was a guy who went to the bathroom a couple of times.
The other flight, which was Frontier Airlines from Denver to Detroit -- the passengers were getting nervous because people were going back and forth again to the bathroom. It turns out they were making out mid-flight.
BECKEL: You are not supposed to talk about your own panelists on that thing. I was -- I wasn't -- it was purely simple -- she and I were having a good time. That's all I can tell you.
GUTFELD: What happen -- what you're saying is what happened to the good old days, Bob.
BECKEL: What happened to the Mile High Club is what I want to know?
(LAUGHTER)
GUTFELD: How long was that going to take before we got to the Mile High Club?
PERINO: I never understood that. Airline bathrooms are disgusting.
For the most part, it's disgusting.
GUILFOYLE: Not with Bob Beckel, they're not.
BECKEL: Back in my younger days, there were places that were disgusting that a good place to do to --
BOLLING: There is no way you and she could fit in one of those airlines bathroom.
BECKEL: There is no way I can fit in the bathroom anymore.
GUTFELD: I'm always trying to keep this from going too far. I'm "Red Eye" host!
BECKEL: I'm going to walk after (ph) weight watchers. Are you kidding me?
GUTFELD: Don't you ever get paranoid about your own behavior like you're worried that something?
BOLLING: I will tell you, people walking back and fort to the bathroom create a lot of suspicion in my house. My wife is like, have you seen how many times they went there, keep an eye on there?
BECKEL: Let me tell you something, from my experience they're drug addicts. You're going to there to dope --
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: You sit in first class all the time.
GUILFOYLE: Here we go.
BECKEL: No, if you sit in first class, the same guy gets up, they come in, they come out, they blow their nose a lot. They come back in, come out, blow their nose. I'm telling you. Watch.
GUTFELD: Kimberly, are we oversensitive to this stuff?
GUILFOYLE: No, I don't think we should be oversensitive. The whole point is we have been able to foil terrorist attacks when we have citizens be responsible. If they see something, they say something. So, you don't be the one person to say blow it off and something happens. And, you know,
9/11 is -- that was a good day to be vigilant.
BECKEL: Another example of overreacting I think. That's all right. Go ahead.
GUTFELD: Move on?
BECKEL: I think you're supposed to. That's what the producers just said.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: You're not supposed to say that.
BECKEL: I'm not supposed to say that.
GUTFELD: Coming up, Tim Pawlenty may no longer be a candidate for president. But he is still making headlines. We'll tell you who he is endorsing.
BECKEL: Ooh, I can't wait!
GUTFELD: Control yourself, Bob.
BECKEL: Oh, man, please tell me.
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