Gutfeld: Trump is the Al Davis of presidents

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Gutfeld: Trump is the Al Davis of presidents

The Trump administration is like the Oakland Raiders of the 1970s: 'Just win, baby.'

This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," February 1, 2020. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

REG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: It's Super Bowl weekend, and I'm sweating like a pig in Miami, home of sandy beaches, terrific weather and plastic surgery.

Yes. True. This was how I looked before I got here.

What an improvement. Thank you, Miami. But here we are for the big game. So I guess that means it's time for --

ANNOUNCER: Greg's noble attempt to create a monologue using football as a metaphor for the Trump administration 2020.

GUTFELD: Yes, so we've gone over the accomplishments of Donald Trump many times: Economy peace, dead terrorists, trade deals, stock market, but now we can add life expectancy.

For the first time in four years, America's average lifespan has increased. Yes, things are so great under Trump, people don't want to die.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Anyway, you've already heard this good news a million times from me, and to be honest, he was right.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP (R), PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: We're going to win. We're going to win so much. We're going to win with our military. We're going to win on trade. We're going to win at the border. We're going to win so much. You're going to get so sick and tired of winning.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: It's true.

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: I am kind of tired of winning. But you know who wasn't? The Oakland Raiders of the 1970s. What a team. Ferocious, brutal, scary, you had Matuszak, Tatum, Alzado, the great Monte Johnson. They were scary monsters and super freaks.

But they were also winners mainly because of their boss, Al Davis, controversial intimidating, but he lived by three words, just win baby and boy did he. From '67 to '85, his team won 13 Division championships, one NFL Championship, three Super Bowls, but people put up with his rebellious streak because he won. Sound familiar?

Trump is the Al Davis of Presidents and his administration, they're the Raiders of old and their mantra, just win baby.

Like the Raiders, Trump is not only defined by his base, but the people who hate him. And the hate for Trump is strong, especially in the media.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: When you basically say several days after this bombshell from John Bolton, yes, we don't want to hear it. We don't want to know. We don't want you to hear or know. That sounds like they are participating in a cover up.

MICHAEL MOORE, FILMMAKER: It's actually maybe worse what Lamar Alexander is doing because he's saying essentially --

Yes, yes, he made his wife. So?

MARA GAY, EDITORIAL BOARD MEMBER, "THE NEW YORK TIMES": People around the world are watching us going, this is what you want for the rest of the world. I mean, what a sad, sad moment.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The American people are going to have a complete view of just how ugly this drug deal was, by the time November rolls around, and just how guilty the President of the United States was.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Thanks Beavis or is it Butthead -- I'm never sure and the hate is so strong it actually includes his supporters.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

RICK WILSON, POLITICAL CONSULTANT: Donald Trump couldn't find Ukraine on a map if you had the letter U and a picture of an actual physical crane next to it.

He knows that this is, you know, an administration defined by ignorance of the world. And so that's partly him playing to their base and playing to their audience. You know, the credulous boomer rube demo that backs Donald Trump that wants to think that Donald Trump is the smart one and they're going y'all elitists are dumb.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Now, if that was a slot machine that would come up three bags, and the reason is, it's not Trump they're bashing, it's you, you dumb rube for supporting him.

But you know who else hates you and Trump? Let's see what you've got. Hollywood. You've got most academics and yes, the head of Iran.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I hate your country, your president and everything about your culture. You are the vomit that comes out of pigs after they eat their own filth. You are the scabs on the knees of lizards who suckle at the breasts of obese and diseased rats.

Except for that Greg Gutfeld, or as we call him in Iran, Sultan of late night. He is much funnier than Jimmy son of Kimmel.

On second thoughts if the United States throws in a pair of tickets to see THE GREG GUTFELD SHOW, then maybe we have a deal.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes.

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: I don't know about you, but I'm starting to like that guy. I am not sure about the translation. Anyhow. You always know someone is doing a great job by their adversary's level of discontent.

Impeachment, for example, reflects that frustration. They can't be Trump's results, so let's just throw the game.

So here's my final football analogy. Impeachment is like the Super Bowl for losers. You've got two teams one wants to impeach and one wants to acquit. Are they the same? No. One team started training for this game the day Trump got elected. They trained to impeach, those are the losers.

The other side, they were just trying to do their own job. And so far, it's pretty damn good. Which may be why Don Lemon was laughing so hard to keep himself from crying.

[CHEERING]

ANNOUNCER: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. He is the superstar with the handle bar, singer and songwriter, John Rich.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: She is as cheerful as I am tearful, attorney and Fox News contributor Emily Compagno.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: Her words are bald, her hair is gold and she's always cold. Somebody is screaming. Host of "Sincerely, Kat" on Fox Nation, Kat Timpf.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: And the last person to play seesaw with him is on the moon. My massive sidekick and host of "Nuff Said" on Fox Nation, Tyrus.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: John, what are your thoughts on the last couple of days in general? Trump versus all of these crazies?

JOHN RICH, SINGER/SONGWRITER: My thoughts are America needs a cocktail, Greg, that's what America needs at this point.

GUTFELD: Are you going to start pumping your whiskey at us?

RICH: No. But we all know it's around here somewhere. I mean, it's been something else to watch. It's like, I'd rather go to an all-night dentist, I think than sit through that again.

GUTFELD: Yes, you know, it is true that I bet if they did a study, the rates of drinking has to be going skyrocket.

RICH: I know, my business is booming with this impeachment trial, so --

GUTFELD: And I need the excuse. I actually believe I've been drinking more and I can blame Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi. Emily, what are your thoughts and put them in order coherently, and try to -- not so fast, but slower.

EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: I will start by saying, in addition to the life expectancy rising, opioid deaths have decreased for the first time in a few years, and that's the kind of thing that matters to all of us.

All of this aside, this clear sham, this clear waste of all of our tax dollars. What matters to us is our family, right, and us being together and people surviving.

GUTFELD: I hate my family.

COMPAGNO: Then this family that you love. So you know that is a campaign promise that Trump made, and that's the kind of results that the Americans care about.

GUTFELD: That's a very good point. I didn't look at it that way. Well done, Emily, Kat, can you do better than Emily?

KATHERINE TIMPF, FOX NATION HOST: Way to try to pit us against each other. But what will we have to do the rest of the show? That's great. Thank you. I love that difficulty.

Well, I'm not the most excited about the extra four years of life. You know what I mean? Because I feel like -- I feel like, you know, how much do you really need?

But that clip of Don Lemon, I think that Donald Trump should be thrilled with that. I think that that's the best campaign ad that ever could have existed for Trump, better than anything Trump could have done himself, because it allows him to say -- he's always saying, people in the rural states, you know, they hate you. They hate you.

People who support me, they hate you. CNN, fake news, bias. And there are these evidence that completely supports that point of view.

So I mean -- and he said he didn't know what he was laughing at, as if that was his defense. I'm like, what you're continually laughing the whole time. You don't need to be like a human behavior expert to realize that there's a joke and someone starts laughing. They're laughing at that joke.

GUTFELD: Exactly. And he's got an earpiece, so he can hear everything -- everything. And he was -- he's a liar.

Anyway, I also think that Dems could take the longevity thing and turn it into a negative, that it's an example of longevity inequality -- Tyrus?

GEORGE "TYRUS" MURDOCH, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Wow.

GUTFELD: I think I'm getting applause from another stage. Round this out with your perceptive thoughts.

MURDOCH: Well, again, I have to piggyback on what I've said before, I'm very concerned about you. Your change continues. Now you're Greg Gibson. You know what I am saying like --

GUTFELD: What are you saying? I look like -- which Gibson? Debbie Gibson?

MURDOCH: No, Mel Gibson.

GUTFELD: Mel Gibson. I'll take that.

MURDOCH: Yes, you've got the open shirt, the angry, the hair is taller. There's a lot of exciting changes going on with you I'm a little afraid of.

And for me, I'm actually really glad that John is here because I need to re-up because I have to play a drinking game at home to watch the impeachment and I'm a little concerned, 12 whiskey sours, it's not Okay.

RICH: What's the game? You drink every time what happens?

MURDOCH: No, I just kept drinking until I fall asleep. Just chug. Literally, the team just sliding them down as I drink and pass out and then I can tell Greg I actually watched it.

GUTFELD: It's weird as everything gets better in this country, the angrier the other side gets and I think that that's just going to continue and continue and continue. It's an emotional issue. It's not a political one anymore. And maybe we should just move on. Literally, figuratively, and TV- itively. More from Miami after this.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

ANNOUNCER: And now, THE GREG GUTFELD SHOW presents the 2020 CAN'T-idates.

GUTFELD: It's going to be a raucous caucus. Who's surging? Who's urging? And who's splurging?

The latest polls show Biden and Sanders neck and flabby neck for first place. Despite the fact that Biden is already talking like he's going to pass the baton to his Vice President.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE BIDEN (D), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE Whomever I pick is two things. One is capable immediately being President, because I'm an old guy. Okay? No, but I'm serious.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Well, at least he's honest, but I'm not sure the slogan, hey, vote for me I might die soon is a winner. Give them some big ideas, Joe.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: And now, Joe Biden on things that are big.

TOM SHILLUE, IMPERSONATING JOE BIDEN: Look big things didn't used to exist until 1981, man. I'm serious. Bags of rice, houseboats, Canada -- those are big things. They're new.

I know you're thinking trains. They're long, not big. There is a difference. Difference I learned the hard way. Text Joe to 90210. Good show.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes. And Bernie is surging despite the fact that he can't tell us how much his free everything plan would cost.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The price tag for that is estimated to be $60 trillion over 10 years, correct?

SEN. BERNIE SANDERS (I-VT), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Well, we have political opponents who will come up --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You don't know -- you don't know how much plan costs.

SANDERS: We don't know. Nobody knows.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Now, there's a slogan. Nobody knows. I think Bernie's going to need to change the subject. Maybe talk about the big game. Right Joe?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: Now Joe Biden on professional football.

SHILLUE: Look, Wayne Gretzky. Great quarterback. Quarter, half, halftime until he score the most points. Come on, man. There's no defense. Everybody's wide open. Open sesame. Sesame Street. Bert and Ernie. Those two guys are just friends. Come on. Text Joe to 777, but you've got to do it in the right order or it won't work.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton isn't running. But does she feel the urge to?

[BOOING]

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

HILLARY CLINTON, FORMER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I certainly feel the urge because I feel like the 2016 election was really an odd -- an odd time and an odd outcome.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Odd time. Good news, Hillary, Biden is looking for a running mate. Wouldn't that be hilarious?

And finally, Mike Bloomberg, he's not on the ballot in Iowa, and he is spending a lot of his own money on ads like this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Mike Bloomberg is the man to lead us.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: He will create more jobs.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Mike's not afraid of the NRA. Not one bit.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Trust me, Michael will get it done, yes.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Get it done, yes.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He does not tweet.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I like Mike.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I like Mike. I lick Mike.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I lick -- I lick Mike. Troubled by that. He is going to be so mad when he finds out dogs can't vote, yet, though.

Do you know what Mike and pets have in common? Neither of them know how to use a spoon --

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MIKE BLOOMBERG (D), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Where's my ice cream. Thank you. Big Gay Ice Cream is the best.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: If you can't look like you're enjoying ice cream, then no one can help you. Take it home, Joe.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: And now Joe Biden on government.

SHILLUE: Look, I've got a lot of friends and dinosaurs are not our friends. Come on, man. If you were there, you'd know that. How many more accidents at these amusement parks are we going to have before we recognize velociraptors should not have the right to vote?

I once split a cab with a triceratops. He was Irish. No, that was me. Text Joe to 8675309. Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn to?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: You can turn to us.

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: Emily, how can you not eat ice cream without having somebody direct you? That is amazing. He tried to shake a dog's face the other day.

COMPAGNO: Oh, I know. When I saw that, I just pictured him doing that with my Doberman Duchess. And it just boggled my mind the thought that he thought you could actually reach around his snout and he did it.

It doesn't matter if you spend a trillion dollars on advertising if your ads are insane, and in terms of Hillary Clinton talking about her urges, look, I don't want to hear any are just coming out of the Clintons, because the last time they did, they got the whole country into trouble.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: And then on Biden. First of all, Shillue, he should get an Academy Award for that. That's amazing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

RICH: Here, here.

COMPAGNO: But what matters -- what matters in Iowa in the upcoming caucuses is Biden's margin, and I think that Nevada and South Carolina, they don't matter in the way that Iowa and New Hampshire will automatically have mirrored results.

GUTFELD: Right.

COMPAGNO: But I think if the margins are low, then they will rethink because traditionally, they've been flip flopped.

GUTFELD: I believe I follow that, Kat. Do you have any data on Iowa?

TIMPF: I have all the data. That's my expertise, it's numbers and crunching them. Did I say that right? Crunching them. Listen, Biden -- very bizarre the strategy of saying you don't like me, still vote for me, it's fine because I will very likely die in office.

That is a bizarre strategy, but it's still not as bizarre as the way Bernie Sanders responds whenever anyone asks him how he's going to pay for his plan.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: He does it every time. He says, I don't know. But then he also like, looks at you like he has no idea why you'd be asking him such a question.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

TIMPF: Imagine any other situation where that would happen, like you hire someone to say, hey, I want to remodel my home and they come in and they say, how about a deck, in-ground pool, you know, remodel the basement with a home theater, and you're like, okay, for how much? They're like, I don't know. Nobody knows.

And you're like, maybe an estimate; and they're like, I don't know why you'd be asking me that. Don't you like pools? It's the exact same thing. It's bananas.

GUTFELD: It is bananas. Tyrus, what are your thoughts?

MURDOCH: I think this is just a problem with the Democratic Party. I love you guys, too. Thank you. Why make commercials about things you don't want to do?

I am not going to go out and be like, come join me and watch THE GREG GUTFELD SHOW and eat Brussel sprouts.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: Brussel sprouts, you know what I am saying because -- I am not going to do it. You don't like ice cream, don't do it.

GUTFELD: Right.

MURDOCH: Just hold it up, say ice cream. Why not? If you're going to do cute things with your dogs, maybe be in the now because it's kind of mean to put peanut butter in their mouth and make them talk. Not cool.

Dog owners are like, damn, man for real?

GUTFELD: Is that how they did it?

TIMPF: He's so rich, he might not know how to eat ice cream by himself. He might have a full time person on staff --

MURDOCH: And I would dig that, if he was like, vote for me, I'll get someone to feed you ice cream, too.

TIMPF: Yes.

MURDOCH: I would get behind that. I'd be like, damn, I didn't know --

GUTFELD: If he got some shirtless man feeding him ice cream.

MURDOCH: Well, stop. Pause. Pause.

GUTFELD: All right.

MURDOCH: Go to John.

GUTFELD: Okay, go to John. John?

RICH: Well, I mean, I know who should be Biden's running mate.

GUTFELD: Who?

RICH: Well, it's obvious who it should be. It should be somebody that he's put in charge of big things before who run big situations --

GUTFELD: I know where you're going.

RICH: Big countries out there and somebody that definitely would hold the line should anything happen to Joe Biden. Hunter Biden should be Vice President.

GUTFELD: Hunter Biden. Hunter Biden.

RICH: For Joe Biden.

GUTFELD: Keep it in the family.

RICH: It should be Biden, too. That's it.

GUTFELD: Keep it in the family.

RICH: Keep it simple.

GUTFELD: That is a brilliant idea. You know, because you know, you don't really need any expertise to be VP. Joe has proven that.

RICH: I mean, hey, give the kid a chance.

GUTFELD: Yes, and by the way when a presidential candidate always has to pick somebody that is not as good as they are because you don't want anybody to show you up that's why all VPs like go down the row. So it's like Hunter is the perfect VP.

RICH: Well, Hunter did great in Ukraine. He made all of that money. He never got in trouble.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

RICH: He'd be a perfect VP.

GUTFELD: And he'll get the stripper votes.

[LAUGHTER]

RICH: Don't ever discount that vote.

GUTFELD: Yes, you get the stripper vote and the --

MURDOCH: All 17 of them.

GUTFELD: Yes. And he'll get the crack dealer vote.

TIMPF: And he'll always be awake to handle problems cause of aforementioned crack.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Yes. I don't know. Did you guys realize John Delaney dropped out today? Or yesterday?

TIMPF: Who?

GUTFELD: John Delaney. Everybody is going who? This is the problem with the Democrats. He was the most sensible person there and nobody even cared.

RICH: Well, let's not --

MURDOCH: Yang. I still think Yang has got some great ideas.

GUTFELD: Yes, Yang is good.

MURDOCH: And it's unfortunate that he's not getting -- I always think you should have two good choices. I think America is better when we've got two good choices.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: Whether you're Republican, Democrat, Independent, we should always have two solid, good choices. And the Democrats are trying to -- they are doing it again.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: It's this person's turn.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

RICH: I just want to see Bernie-Trump. I just want to see Bernie and Trump in a debate. That's must-see TV.

GUTFELD: Exactly. Oh, boy. All right. We're just 1,200 minutes away from kickoff. Back with more after this.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

JACKIE IBANEZ, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CORRESPONDENT: Live from "America's News Headquarters," I'm Jackie Ibanez in New York.

The first coronavirus death outside of China is reported in the Philippines. The deceased is a 44-year-old man from Wuhan who had developed pneumonia while visiting there in the Philippines. The death toll from the coronavirus in China is at 304 tonight, and the number of cases rising to more than 14,300.

The World Health Organization has already declared this a global health emergency. The WHO warning countries each prepare in the event the virus spreads among their populations.

China is criticizing the U.S. for its order barring entry to most non- citizens who visited from China in the past two weeks.

In the U.S., an eighth case is reported. This one in Massachusetts.

And we're less than 24 hours away from the kickoff of Super Bowl 54. The San Francisco 49ers meet the Kansas City Chiefs.

I'm Jackie Ibanez. Now back to THE GREG GUTFELD SHOW. Have a great night.

GUTFELD: Are you a big jerk if you talk sports at work? On the eve of Super Bowl 54 -- oh, 10 years older than me -- a business management expert in Britain says sports talk in the workplace should be cut back because it makes women feel excluded.

Worse, she says it could be a gateway to more inappropriate actions like sex talk and nude rugby. A couple of things. First, to be clear, she is talking about the U.K. where they play something called soccer. Now, for those of you unfamiliar, this is soccer.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: I did not know that soccer was coed. Secondly, she isn't suggesting that -- she isn't suggesting that women can't chime in about sports is sexist, even more sexist than even talking about sports. Is saying that women can't talk about sports?

So enjoy the big game on Fox and talk about it all you want because we're Americans, and that's what we do.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: Except for Carl. He steals the office chairs.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: A lot of stuff that Kilmeade does on "Fox & Friends" that doesn't make it in the show because it's just so embarrassing for him.

Kat, do you talk a lot -- do you believe that sports talk excludes women?

TIMPF: Greg --

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I am a woman.

GUTFELD: Yes.

[CHEERING]

TIMPF: Thank you, thank you. Thank you.

GUTFELD: What a weird way to get applause.

TIMPF: Yes, I know. Well, so given that if somebody just looked at me and say, I bet she doesn't talk about sports, she doesn't want to, she doesn't even know how just by looking at me, that would be absolutely sexist and also be absolutely correct.

I don't know anything about football and when people are talking about it, I still can't help but chime in with what I do know which is like four things.

GUTFELD: What?

TIMPF: So someone will be like, touchdown, you know, and I'm like, oh, that's a good. That's the thing you do want and they are six points, and then you kick for another or the quarterback, I'll be like the person who throws it.

And then the conversation will shift to me and whether or not I may have a concussion.

GUTFELD: So that's good. Yes, we're always wondering that, Tyrus. I think that when you say that women can't participate in this kind of talk, it's actually insulting to women.

MURDOCH: Well, first of all, it's ignorant. It's the dumbest thing I ever because I can say Emily can talk about football for the next 20 years.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: It's all about who you are, who your friends are and stuff at work. This is why it's in Britain.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: I mean, they have no sports to talk about.

GUTFELD: Oh.

MURDOCH: Like what? The World Cup?

GUTFELD: They have rugby. Nude rugby.

MURDOCH: But New Zealand has better rugby. Australia has better rugby. They literally -- when it comes to sports right now there's not much to talk about.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: Their big thing was cricket.

GUTFELD: Oh, I love cricket.

MURDOCH: And you know what? You do?

GUTFELD: Not really.

MURDOCH: You thought I was talking about a bug.

GUTFELD: Yes. That's for our next block.

MURDOCH: That's the point. In America, you talk with your friends about stuff and if you talk about sports or whatever, no informed circles and like it's things like, it can be like, hey, Emily, did you see the game last night? I know who didn't.

You know what I am saying, like, that's not how it works.

TIMPF: Pick six. Titans.

GUTFELD: John, what do you --

MURDOCH: She does that on purpose.

RICH: Well, I know for sure that a lot of women in America love sports. You know why?

GUTFELD: Why?

RICH: Because you know how many babies had been made in halftimes?

GUTFELD: I don't know. How many?

RICH: Lots.

MURDOCH: A lot.

RICH: I bet you in the Super Bowl --

GUTFELD: I don't think there's a science behind that.

RICH: When the Super Bowl happens and they have the long halftime and everybody's been drinking and partying and having a good time. That's when the baby is getting made, guys.

GUTFELD: I've never seen a Super Bowl party where that happens where everybody just leaves during halftime.

RICH: Boy, you're at the wrong party then.

GUTFELD: It's true. I've got to move to Memphis, wherever you're -- Nashville.

RICH: Yes, come on down to Nashville.

GUTFELD: I've got to know where you are.

RICH: We don't let a second get away from us.

GUTFELD: Exactly. Emily, you were an Oakland Raiders cheerleader back in the day. Do you -- do you find this offensive?

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: Don't do it.

COMPAGNO: I will not.

GUTFELD: That'll be later.

COMPAGNO: Yes. I don't get offended easily, but I think the saddest part about this is the fact that it furthers that sometimes the worst vitriol comes from other women.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: Like probably a guy -- like no guy would ever say that, but it takes a woman to be like this -- let me tell you how to think other women. You should be offended if this happens. You can't participate meaningfully in these conversations for that reason.

And I agree with you, Tyrus, once the U.K. lost David Beckham it was all downhill.

MURDOCH: Yes, it was downhill.

GUTFELD: Because he was good looking.

MURDOCH: No because he was a good soccer player and they haven't won since, Greg.

TIMPF: In your assessment.

MURDOCH: See.

COMPAGNO: Yes, completely.

GUTFELD: But you know what the thing -- it's also sexist in the sense that there's an assumption that guys like sports. I hate it.

If there's any -- you know that I'd fire people if they talk sports in the office.

RICH: Really?

GUTFELD: Especially in elevators.

MURDOCH: Wait a minute, that's a form of harassment.

COMPAGNO: Your whole opening monologue was about Al Davis. He loved sports. You love the Raider.

GUTFELD: I've grown -- I've grown out of that. I don't like sports anymore. As I get older, I find it silly.

MURDOCH: We have other things to talk about.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: Movies.

RICH: Like what?

MURDOCH: Most people do.

GUTFELD: Yes. I like talking about movies. But you know that Tyrus and I spent two hours talking about "Downton Abbey"?

COMPAGNO: You did?

RICH: Wow.

MURDOCH: Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: I love "Downton Abbey."

MURDOCH: You, me and the woman in the third row back there. Yes, I watched the series and the movies. I'm proud of it.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

TIMPF: I don't know what that is either.

RICH: One thing if you had to step in ...

TIMPF: Someone named Abby?

RICH: ... in the Super Bowl because somebody got injured, do you think you can still pull it?

MURDOCH: For one play?

RICH: Yes, one play?

MURDOCH: I can hold the block for one play.

RICH: Knock them down. There you go. See?

GUTFELD: By the way, you know what sports is for me? "The Bachelor." "Bachelorette." Right? Isn't that really what professionals --

MURDOCH: But see, I could come to work and be like, I'm -- no one's talking -- I can't talk about "The Bachelor," that's sexist.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

MURDOCH: They're standing around the water cooler talking about roses and I don't know what to do.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: All right, we've got to take a break. We've got more to come. Fun stuff. Cheerleading.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Would you find it evil to eat a weavile? With the global population believed to hit 10 billion in 30 years, scientists are wondering how we're all going to eat. We're already feeling the big push to move to plant based diets. Yuck. That's why Impossible Burgers and Beyond Meat are everywhere.

But a scientist at Wayne State University named after Wayne State thinks there's another great protein source -- the bug, specifically crickets. Apparently, they're loaded with protein.

They don't take up as much room as a cow, which is roughly 10 times the size of a cricket. Plus, you can eat the same thing you feed your pet snake. You can have dinner together, share a cricket. So remember, this in 2050 as you prepare your Super Bowl Sunday spread.

What did I just say? You'll be serving them cricket wings. Yes. Ooh. Some grasshopper poppers. How about this? Gnat-chos. Yo uknow gnats. Gnat-chos.

RICH: Got it.

GUTFELD: Spider sliders and you'll watch it all down with Beetlejuice. So how do you feel about that, baby Bob?

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: Another reason why I don't have kids. The projectile vomiting is too much, Tyrus, too much. I don't want it all over me.

MURDOCH: First of all, it figures that this scientist was from Wayne State. I enjoyed beating them in college football and they're usually behind the ball.

The world is eating bugs already. Everyone but us. This is normal. This is part of everything and we kind of eat bugs because every time you have shrimp or lobster, it's a bug, ladies and gentlemen.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

COMPAGNO: Great point.

GUTFELD: I can't even look at seafood.

MURDOCH: But can't tell the truth.

GUTFELD: Yes. Seafood is --

MURDOCH: In 2050, you're going to be eating people. Because that's going to be the most bountiful thing out there and people are going to be eating each other.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: That's all that's going to be left.

GUTFELD: Look, you know what --

MURDOCH: Little Gregs will be running from everywhere from giant Tyruses.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: I don't know if I like that. I will say this though, I agree whenever I see lobster or crab I'm going like that's obviously an insect. People are already eating insects, but they've trained their brains, Kat, to pretend that it's like some kind of delicacy.

Do you know that they fed lobsters to inmates in prison until they ran out?

TIMPF: Is that a fact?

GUTFELD: I may have dreamt it.

TIMPF: Okay, I was going to say.

MURDOCH: There's bugs in every food you eat now too, by the way.

GUTFELD: Kat, there are bugs on your body.

TIMPF: There have been at times.

GUTFELD: No, let's not go there.

TIMPF: Listen, okay, this author, researcher, whatever lady -- science lady.

GUTFELD: Science lady.

TIMPF: She has a lot of really good points, right, like scientific points like the exoskeletons have micro nutrients.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: So it sounds like they're good for you. Less water, it takes up less space. It's more environmentally safe, but she did not address one issue that keeps coming up in my own research.

GUTFELD: What?

TIMPF: It's yucky. Okay. And I've eaten bugs. I eat guacamole with ants on it. I did it on Kennedy's show which brings me to the point of I would never do it for protein the way they're saying. I did it only for the attention.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: So I would eat the bugs, but only for attention.

GUTFELD: Yes. And I think that's important, attention supersedes everything else, Emily.

TIMPF: Correct.

GUTFELD: Would you eat a bug voluntarily? Not when you're on your bike riding and the fly flies in there and get in your throat.

COMPAGNO: For me, it's the last resort aspect. So for example, this morning when I had to get up at 4:00 a.m. for "Fox & Friends," I had a little coffee maker in my room and I had one coffee pod left and I then when I opened up the thing, there were mites all in it.

GUTFELD: Mites?

COMPAGNO: Yes. But I was like --

GUTFELD: I am staying in the same hotel.

COMPAGNO: You know what? Yes --

GUTFELD: But I need coffee.

COMPAGNO: Take it for the team, and I drank it anyway because coffee was gold at 4:00 a.m. so to me --

GUTFELD: You are disgusting.

COMPAGNO: No. But first coffee, have you heard that?

MURDOCH: You drank mites, too, Greg. I'm just saying.

GUTFELD: Did you go down to the concierge to tell them?

COMPAGNO: No. They were just in the -- it's no big deal. We're in Miami. I mean, you know, it's like tropical.

TIMPF: What does it have to do with being in Miami?

[LAUGHTER]

COMPAGNO: It's tropical.

GUTFELD: She ate mites.

COMPAGNO: It was like, whatever.

RICH: I was going to ask her, did you feel a little extra bump from that because I mean if it's good to eat bugs, coffee and bugs.

MURDOCH: We all eat bugs, everybody.

COMPAGNO: I'm alive.

RICH: You bug --

GUTFELD: I am telling you, John, the only bugs I am eating is if it's a bunny.

RICH: Hey, let me tell you, where I live, we've got ponds full of fish. We've got woods full of deer and turkeys and we've got rifles and shotguns and as long as we've got that, I ain't eating any bugs, bro. I hate to tell you.

GUTFELD: Yes, I don't see anything -- I don't see -- you know what this is, this is just a bunch of weirdos. Just a bunch of hippie weirdos.

MURDOCH: It's just some lazy -- it's lazy work from Wayne State.

GUTFELD: Wayne State --

MURDOCH: Because the whole world is already eating bugs. Go to anywhere in Asia.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: Right.

MURDOCH: Go anywhere. Everyone's got bugs on a stick.

GUTFELD: I've got an uncle who eats a lot of bugs. But I think it's a disorder.

MURDOCH: Wayne State. It figures.

GUTFELD: Wayne State. All right, I'm very excited and so should you about this next segment. Hard to believe we have Kat Timpf and Emily Compagno doing cheerleading, becoming cheerleaders. That's next.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: So, you know, cheerleaders are a big part of football which reminded us, guess what? Emily was once a professional cheerleader for the Oakland Raiders.

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: Yes, these are pictures of her before she was thrown out for scaring the players. But today, she decided to put the pom-poms back on and show Kat Timpf a few pointers for this very important job.

COMPAGNO: Thanks, Greg. Right. Yes, so we had some time earlier this week and I thought it would be really fun to show Kat how we do things in the NFL, but it didn't turn out quite like I planned.

It seems Kat has a much different approach to cheerleading then I do. Take a look.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

COMPAGNO: Hey, Kat, ready to hit the gym? Why don't you dressed?

TIMPF: For what?

COMPAGNO: I'm going to show you everything there is to know about being an NFL cheerleader, the halftime routines, quarter break choreography, all of it. Let's go.

TIMPF: Cheering for sports. That sounds awful. It's not how I imagined it at all.

Emily and I, as cheerleaders, I think will be very different.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Honey, you're not going to believe it. The presentation went so well. They promoted me. Let's go out and celebrate.

COMPAGNO: Congrats to you on your big day. We knew you could go all the way.

TIMPF: How will you stay on track with your crippling alcoholism holding you back? Plus your cocaine and gambling habits.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'll call you back.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Babe, I've been wanting to ask you this for a while. So what do you say?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.

COMPAGNO: Love is special. That is true. We're so happy for both of you.

TIMPF: Marriages can run their course over half and then divorce. Plus, she's probably cheating on you.

COMPAGNO: Yay for you and great decision. You're saving the world with such precision.

TIMPF: Don't be fooled. Recycling is a joke. you won't change [bleep] by acting woke.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, but like the Green New Deal is going to change things and stuff.

TIMPF: They try to change laws but nothing passes while China floods the world with greenhouse gases. I could do this all day, bro.

COMPAGNO: You ruin everything.

Kat? Earth to Kat. Kat. Hey, Kat, are we going or what?

TIMPF: Oh yes, cheerleading is awesome. Yes, sports. Super Bowl. Go Yankees. I think this pen has LSD in it.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: You know, the interesting thing about that package is that nails both of you to a tee.

TIMPF: I know I was meant to play that role.

GUTFELD: I think you were.

TIMPF: I was like, this is more me than I am.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: The funniest part to me was that while we were filming that in those outfits, every executive at Fox News had to walk by. I was like, oh, god, yes, earning my paycheck. Yes. Hey, guys.

TIMPF: Also, you know how many takes we had to do that vape? If I was not completely physically dependent on nicotine, I never would have been able to take that many rips.

GUTFELD: Hey, Emily, what's changed in the cheerleading -- I don't know work style since you've retired? You have retired? Correct.

COMPAGNO: I have retired.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: You mean the actual performance on the field?

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: No, not much has changed. It's still cheer dance. It's still amazing.

GUTFELD: They've included men.

COMPAGNO: Oh, yes. And that.

GUTFELD: That's a change.

COMPAGNO: To you.

GUTFELD: Yes, it is a change.

MURDOCH: But they had yell leaders in college, so it's really not, it is just adding another element to the game.

TIMPF: Yell leaders? I could use that.

COMPAGNO: Definitely, and I think the NBA has been coed for quite some time. So I think fans are used to performances that have both, that just have amazing dancing going on.

GUTFELD: Not on my watch, young lady.

COMPAGNO: Sound like it.

TIMPF: What's a yell leader?

GUTFELD: A yell leader is a -- one of our Presidents was a yell leader. G.W. Bush, right?

RICH: Was he?

GUTFELD: Yes, he was a male cheerleader. Yes, exactly. Tyrus, would you want your kids to be cheerleaders?

MURDOCH: If that's what he or she wants to do? Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: Because the only thing I would like to see them is that they're going to get paid better. I think they're professionals and should be treated as such.

GUTFELD: Yes. Also, it's a dangerous job. How many injuries?

MURDOCH: Well, and it's also a good avenue because a lot of times you'll have someone who was a gymnast who might not have the ability to go on to the Olympics, they can go into cheerleading and sports and continue on and make a career out of it.

COMPAGNO: I just have to say, totally, when I cheered, you know, I was an attorney at the same time, we've talked about this, and I was so impressed by the caliber of the girls that I cheered with, over all of the attorneys that I worked with.

Those girls work so hard. They're so passionate about it and they're performing artists like they deserve a hundred percent.

GUTFELD: I can see your TV show, John. Cheerleader lawyer on --

RICH: I would watch that.

GUTFELD: Me, too.

RICH: Yes, I would interview that person.

GUTFELD: Yes.

RICH: Immediately.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

MURDOCH: And she is sitting right next to you.

RICH: I have to interview you. And you know, I have a show, too. You haven't talked about my show on Fox Nation.

GUTFELD: Yes.

RICH: "The Pursuit," which you would be perfect for that. So we could talk about cheerleading and being an attorney. How fast can you talk in one minute? How many words per minute?

COMPAGNO: What did you think about the skit with Kat and I?

RICH: I thought it was perfect, and I've gotten to know Kat a little bit last year, and yes, that is exactly Kat. So I loved it. Good job, girls.

TIMPF: Power of positive thinking.

GUTFELD: It makes sick to my stomach. Okay, we're not done. More to come after this.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

ANNOUNCER: Final thoughts. It's the last thought. That's why it's called the final thoughts. Okay.

GUTFELD: All right. So for final thoughts, I want to get your predictions for the game tomorrow. Tyrus?

MURDOCH: I've 49ers, 47-13.

GUTFELD: Wooo. Kat?

TIMPF: Who else is playing?

[LAUGHTER]

TIMPF: There's the red one.

GUTFELD: There's two red teams.

TIMPF: Well, how do I pick based on color? The red one.

GUTFELD: There you go. No chance of losing.

COMPAGNO: All right, Chiefs by at least four.

RICH: I'm saying Patrick Mahomes 35-31, Chiefs.

GUTFELD: I am from the Bay Area. I grew up as a -- Raider fan and a 49er fan because that's weird. I'm going to have to say the 49ers by 14.

[BOOING]

GUTFELD: Thanks to John Rich, Emily Compagno, Kat Timpf, Tyrus. Studio audience. Enjoy the Big Game on big Fox.

I'm Greg Gutfeld, I love you, America.

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