Gutfeld: The leading economic indicator is our survival

'The Five': It's up to the GOP candidates to make the boring persuasive in the third debate

Tonight's debate: the economy. Meaning stuff the left wants you to know nothing about. That way they can demand minimum wage hikes without saying where the cash comes from or that people only take jobs if they're worth it, or that entry level is called entry level so you don't camp there.

It's also so people keep thinking that free stuff is free. Sorry, Bernie. If education is free, why not the goodies gained from it? Nothing free is ever good. You see the AARP magazine? You get what you pay for, it's crap.

It's also so hacks can yak about inequality. But rich jerks save more which gets invested, leading to cash for lending, that builds bars, offering jobs to the young who then make less money for now.

And that's the other lie. That the one percent began there at one percent. No, it takes years to make it and you can. Studies show that more workers in the bottom 20 percent of income over time end up in the top 20 percent. People at the bottom have the highest rate of income increase, folks at the top the lowest.

But let's demonize the rich and banks. But without both, you cannot borrow. So there's no path to a better life. And let's stop with the gender gap lie. Says the Census Bureau: single women who never had a child earn more than single men.

But none of this means squat if we're killed by terrorists. It's true, the leading economic indicator is your survival.

So there you go, a really boring monologue. But it's the boring stuff that kills you -- that and tofu.

But it's up to the candidates to make boring persuasive. Which reminds me, have you bought my book yet?