Gutfeld on 'The Bachelor' finale
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"The Bachelor" finale was last night. Here's the high point.
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UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We just made a big circle. It's a trash fire.
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The show boiled down to a vacuous cad proposing to a woman after he had previously proposed to, then dumped and humiliated on live television, a different gal. And yes, I said gal.
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{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}ARIE LUYENDYK JR., 'THE BACHELOR': I've made some bad decisions. But the best decision was running back to you.
Lauren Elizabeth Burnham, will you marry me?
LAUREN BURNHAM, CONTESTANT, 'THE BACHELOR': Definitely.
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That's a mistake.
The second woman accepted the proposal from this snore of a bore. Because you know love conquers all, especially when a producer demands it.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Now that other dumped woman confronted the jerk about his deceitful character and he apologized. She forgave him.
Why? Well, Arie used modern therapy-speak to paper over his actions. The woman is still hurt, but he feels her pain.
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{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}LUYENDYK: I do regret -- regret proposing that day, because I wasn't fully ready.
BECCA KUFRIN, CONTESTANT, 'THE BACHELOR': Then why did you?
LUYENDYK: I think the pressure of this. The pressure of being "The Bachelor," knowing that there's a timeline and having to make that decision on that day.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}KUFRIN: But you always have a choice, and you didn't need to make that choice.
LUYENDYK: I know, and I own up to that. That's on me. That is totally on me. I have no excuse for that. I apologize for that.
KUFRIN: And I forgive you.
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That was fast. Sorry, ladies, he's taken -- at least for three or four more months.
So did Becca, the spurned ex-fiancee, learn her lesson that seeking love on a reality show often doesn't pan out the way one expects? Well, she agreed to be "The Bachelorette" in the next series. Yes, a show humiliates you and your solution: return to the very show that humiliates you. It's like me on "The Five."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Then they paraded all the new male flash for her to peruse. How quickly Arie the creep was tossed on the heap. One man showed up with a majestic steed. So who needs an ass when you can have a horse? I wish Becca the best of luck and look forward to seeing Arie on the cover of "Us Weekly," inevitably caught making out with a groupie at a promotional event for cheap vodka.