Gutfeld: Biden is a unifier, we all think he's nuts
'Gutfeld!' panel reacts to AG Garland saying authorities will target school board threats
This is a rush transcript from "Gutfeld!," October 5, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Happy Tuesday, everyone. So this is crazy. On Monday, Attorney General Merrick Garland announced the FBI would investigate a disturbing spike in harassment, intimidation and threats of violence against school administrators, board members, teachers and staff. A disturbing spike. Are we talking about legitimate charges or Trey Gowdy's hair?
In the memo they decry threats of violence. But is it actual terroristic activities or parents trying to get to the bottom of a lousy education, which in the long run is more of a national threat than China, Russia and Iran combined. But the school board and the law want you to think that parental concern is now a domestic terror threat. That's right. A mom yelling at school board members at a public meeting is the same as her donning an explosive vest and blowing up a school.
Demanding quality schools is now like crashing the plane into the Pentagon. They've taken the most necessary debate one could have, how to teach your kids and recast it as the perfect left-wing fantasy. Rogue educators battling a mob of Pitchfork wielding heathens all wearing mom jeans and fanny packs. And those are just the dads. Garland published the memo right after the National School Board letter demanded help from the White House because our public schools and its education leaders are under immediate threat.
First, can you imagine asking Joe Biden for help on anything other than how to use Metamucil? Did you not see the Kabul airport evacuation? Asking Joe for help it's like asking Ted Bundy for a ride home.
TYRUS, FOX NATION HOST: Damn.
GUTFELD: It was either that or Ted Kennedy. I couldn't make up my mind.
TYRUS: You made a good choice.
GUTFELD: Thank you. Now there may be unsavory incidents. But when it comes to getting between a dad and his kid who you've labeled racist because of his race, that can happen. Teachers and parents will get into shouting matches, which isn't good. But it's understandable. Given the insane teachers unions, the brainwash, they call education, the utter disregard for difference of opinion.
They don't care if our schools are dead last, they only care about preventing you from having a choice of schools or a say in the matter, which couldn't be why the NSBA suggested that these acts of malice could be the equivalent to domestic terrorism. Domestic terrorist now more watered down than Kat's court ordered urine sample. But the school board actually learned something that if you claim something is domestic terror, it's in the eye of the beholder.
And no one can tell you that you weren't terrorized. So you can use it on anyone except of course rioters or looters. Just angry parents. And just you wait that harmless coworker of yours will be next.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Are you wearing body spray?
JOE MACHI, COMEDIAN: Yes, dog. It's (INAUDIBLE) Ladies love it.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hello, Department of Homeland Security. Yes, thank you.
MACHI: It's clean always and (INAUDIBLE)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: All you have to do is weaponize the potential for a threat and you can silence anything through fear. Maybe I can accuse my wife of being an immediate threat when I'm trying to watch the game. And by game I mean the masked singer. Think about it. I don't watch games. Parents were upset with mask mandates being imposed on their kids not to mention critical race theory.
In a normal world that would be considered both physical and mental abuse. But this is a Joe Biden world and it's considered good instruction. So rather than engage the other side smeared the left hates open debate almost as much as they love open borders. They hate legitimate protests as much as they love riots. And now they have the law to intimidate you into silence. I wonder what the angry white male has to say.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TOM SHILLUE, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I was tired of being ignored by teachers and school administrators. That's why I started homeschooling. Don't forget to indent at the beginning of a paragraph.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I know.
SHILLUE: Now I can be ignored in the privacy of my own home.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I hope that's his kid or someone should call the cops. I wonder what the angry black male has to say.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TYRUS: All right. Back after this. Thanks for listening to Tyrus in tip. What Gutfeld? Can't you see I'm working here? Fine. Ask your question. What? This Teachers Union is referring to parents as domestic terrorists because they have a difference of opinion? Yes, that works. That's a lot like me trying to interview.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hi. There's this mannist who ask me a lot of questions. I'm very concerned. Can you make sure my kids are OK? I'm really concerned (INAUDIBLE) right now.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: So now the FBI will split their time between tracking down men and Viking hats and irate parents who were rude to teachers. As for the legitimate daily threats we all get from al Qaeda. We'll get to them. Right after we raid the home of this mouthy soccer mom at dawn and arrestor in front of her kids because she had her own thoughts about how our kids should be educated.
So while they target parents, you can still follow a woman into a bathroom and film her and the President will defend it. Not only will he defended, he'll probably ask what kind of shampoo she uses. You can brutalize anyone or steal anything in New York and be back on the streets in hours. You could torts businesses and permanently ruined cities like Minneapolis and never see jail time.
But the FBI needs a cup of mom because she raised her voice to a transitioning social studies teacher with a rainbow tattoo on her neck. Yes, Antifa is just an idea but mom and dad are deadly. That's the world we live in. Where your speech is redefined as violence and their violence is redefined as Justice. Well done, Joe. You really are a unifier because we all think you're nuts.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.
GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. He's so patriotic, Independence Day celebrates him, veteran and Florida GOP Congressional candidate, Cory Mills. If knowledge is power her brain could blow a fuse. Fox Business Correspondent Susan Li. She's more demanding than a ransom note. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf. That sound you hear means he's doing jumping jacks or there's a thunderstorm approaching. My massive psychic in the NWA World Television Champion Tyrus. Susan, how are you?
SUSAN LI, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK CORRESPONDENT: I'm good. How are you?
GUTFELD: I'm great. Thanks for asking.
LYDIA: I love the khakis.
GUTFELD: Oh jeez. This is -- for Halloween, I'm going is Tucker Carlson. This is the Tucker Carlson look.
LI: It's good.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes, yes. I'm not -- you're going to get me in so much trouble. You know, nobody sees me from the waist down so I could get away with wearing the khakis. My wife would know. Now she knows.
LI: Really? We see her from the waist down every day.
GUTFELD: No. We have that cropped out. Speaking of cropped out, I don't even know what that means.
LI: I don't know where it's going.
GUTFELD: I could actually say -- OK, I could actually paralyze this whole conversation by saying you making a comment about my clothes kind of threatens me, right? It's kind of a threat to me because you're making me - -
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: -- terrorism?
GUTFELD: I -- might be terrorism. I think you might have terrorized me, Susan.
LI: OK
GUTFELD: Yes.
LI: You can file a complaint with HRV like. Look, I think it's crazy.
TYRUS: No, no, Greg. Writing a scathing e-mail.
GUTFELD: Yes. Scathing e-mail. It's too late. You're done.
LI: All right. But I just think it's crazy.
GUTFELD: You're going to be CNBC before you know.
LI: I have no idea what that would be like. But I think it's crazy that school boards have turned into an episode of squid game which you should watch. Have you watch? You know what I'm talking about?
TYRUS: Yes. I'm on it. Yes. I'm on it though.
LI: Because you're you were saying it correctly, that there is a lot more time to be spent say on fighting violent crime for instance. Did you know that murders went up 30 percent last year?
GUTFELD: Yes.
LI: Thirty percent. That is the most that we've seen since 1960. How about, you know, protecting women that are being shoved in subways?
GUTFELD: Exactly. Except for Kat. No, I'm kidding.
TIMPF: Thank you. That's the sweetest thing you've ever said.
GUTFELD: I know. Cory, you know, what kills me is that all the stuff that the media and Democrats were accusing Trump of potentially doing? They're actually doing? This is something --
(CROSSTALK)
CORY MILLS, FLORIDA GOP CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE: And they're even trying to hide it.
GUTFELD: No, they're not hiding it. It's amazing. They're actually going after law abiding citizens so they get they're no longer part of the dialogue.
MILLS: A hundred percent. And look, he actually said this in the very beginning. He says, look, they're not after me. They're after you. I'm just in the way.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MILLS: And what has actually proven to be true is that now if you disagree with anything that the U.S. government says they can just label you as a domestic terror and utilize this blanket cover and therefore the FBI just rushes in. You know, here's what I would like to see, you know, if they would have taken half of that consideration into the Taliban, Haqqani Network and everyone else who is building themselves up in Afghanistan and focus our attention there as opposed to on our own American citizens, we'd probably be a lot better position overall.
But instead, they just want to basically utilize the cancel culture to extend itself out into investigations and then arrest people who just disagree with anything that they have to say.
GUTFELD: Yes. And they -- and they completely like -- they could have gone after maybe a Olympic gym coach who like, you know, raped and molested all of these athletes. All right, Tyrus, is it -- I mean, their -- parents should have some modicum, is that how you say it? Modicum of politeness when talking to teachers, but --
TYRUS: What?
GUTFELD: I don't know. I don't have kids.
TIMPF: No.
GUTFELD: You're supposed to cut me off when I didn't make no sense.
TYRUS: Oh, I mean.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TYRUS: Yellow socks and khakis, you nailed it, bro. You know, as -- you know, what as he cracks me up is I was looking online in a try to find how many buildings the parents burned down, or stores they robbed, you know, or people they punched out or left dead bleeding in the street. And I can't really seem to find a lot on these domestic terrorists, other than they all uniformly going in a building, wait their turn to get in front of a microphone, and then complain. So --
GUTFELD: Yes.
TYRUS: Where are we living? That's a -- that word is used to mean something. And it was -- it was -- the last administration literally anyone who said, oh, hey, that's President Trump. He was a domestic terrorist. So now they've -- because he's not on Twitter anymore. They have turned it on the people. But they're leaving out who's instigating this?
GUTFELD: Yes.
TYRUS: Who's instigating? Who's the one making comments like, oh, they're just mad their guy lost. Oh, there -- oh, who said that? There was some of the DOJ that was supposed to be someone who was supposed to be helping.
GUTFELD: Right.
TYRUS: So the parents know that they're going into a room with closed ears and closed minds to begin with. So forgive them if they get upset over them fighting and arguing over their most precious commodity, their children, which used to be our most precious commodity in this country.
GUTFELD: Right.
TYRUS: And now it is, if you don't see the way we are, there's something wrong with you. When this happened in the 60s, it was the Klan. When this happened, you know, before that, it was Jim Crow. And before that it was the -- it always seems to end up being the Democrats. They think they know what's best for you without ever bothering to talk to you. And that's -- and that's a crime. It's terrible that we're going through that right now.
GUTFELD: Yes. It is -- and it's also amazing that like they need to coerce you into believing their ideas.
TYRUS: You can't do anything without us.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TYRUS: Especially you, minorities.
GUTFELD: But that means --
(CROSSTALK)
TYRUS: You can't do nothing unless we want it.
(CROSSTALK)
MILLS: Well, they're trying to -- they're hijacking the education. I mean, the whole point is that there -- they don't like the fact that inundation of CRT in our education is being challenged.
GUTFELD: Yes.
(CROSSTALK)
TYRUS: And it -- the whole point is critical race theory, which means it's a critical idea open for discussion. Not critical race facts.
GUTFELD: Yes. You know, Kat, I think, you know, theoretically, with this -- I don't -- categorization of terror. This show.
TIMPF: Yes.
GUTFELD: The show is an act of domestic terrorism.
TIMPF: Absolutely true.
GUTFELD: Against Don Lemon and Brian Williams, because we're just crushing them in the ratings.
TIMPF: Well, I was going to say, like, I don't have kids. But if I did, I would be yelling all the time. I mean, like, I am already kind of on the edge as it is.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: And the good news is like, I get to be on a talk show where I say how I feel.
GUTFELD: Right? Exactly.
TIMPF: They don't. And also, it just -- it's mind blowing to think about truly, truly insane it is that, you know, these parents want to have a say in their child's education. They want to have a say in where their kids spend, you know, you know, a third of their day for, you know, five days a week for nine months of the year, for years of their life at a location that their tax dollars. also pay for like that is not only not terrorism, that's about as good of an example of a basic fundamental right as you can get.
GUTFELD: Yes. Well said.
TIMPF: Thank you.
GUTFELD: Yes. OK. We got to move on. Up next, why the IRS wants to increase your stress.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Biden empowers the IRS to make your life an IR mess. Yes. The government is targeting our banks like a bunch of gold digging skanks. I always wanted to run scans with banks. So what? So according to Susan, President Biden needs a (BLEEP) ton of cash to fund the Democrats $3.5 trillion spending bill. It's your words, not mine. Don't get, angry, Susan.
LI: OK? Did I say that?
GUTFELD: I don't know. One way to do that they claim is to beef up the IRS funding and power. And now the bill may include a mandate that would force banks to turn over to the IRS annual cash flows for ordinary account holders. And that threshold is any account with over 600 bucks, or basically any American with a side hustle recycling beer cans. So as if your annual tax filing was an already an over complicated mess.
I've been claiming edible underwear as meal deductions. If you eat them, it's true. Now, now they'll track your transactions in a massive data grab to soak you dry. Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen or Janet Lion, am I right? Says this will help catch wealthy tax dodgers. And with Democrats in charge people with 600 bucks are now considered wealthy, which will probably be the case after they drain us all over our savings.
So obviously 600 bucks is nothing these days, especially for Kat. Did you know what that gets her in her life? It's 20 bottles of Clairvaux.
LI: Right.
GUTFELD: 100 Jello Shots at a Cancun Spring Break hotel. Or three complete cleanings of an Uber after she throws up in them the night before.
TIMPF: I'm not really a puker.
GUTFELD: Oh, that's good to know. She's not a puker. All right, Cory, that's good news. Your jacket is safe. Do you believe this? Do you believe this? Do you believe that this is all about finding tax -- like 600 bucks? There's something else going on here, right?
MILLS: Well, and again, here's the thing. It's not just that you have $600 in your account, if you have $600 a year in transaction.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MILLS: I mean, period. Yes, there is no American that I'm aware of who doesn't do at least $600 in transactions.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MILLS: So, what this is, is this is the IRS and big government trying to pry and spy on Americans once again. But now they're not being as covert as they used to be. They're not actually being over. I remember when they were trying to utilize the Postal Service.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MILLS: To actually try and spy on you. So again, this is where big government tries to get their overreaching and continue to spy on the American people and follow the CCP guidelines.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MILLS: I just spent -- Tyrus, I just spent $600 on the corner of 53rd and Third.
TIMPF: Where you got those khakis. I thought those khakis wouldn't be $600. But, you know --
(CROSSTALK)
MILLS: It's about the yellow socks.
GUTFELD: Yes. You gave them to me though for 600.
TYRUS: Yes. But OK, I'm not going there. You know what, though, this is -- you are going to bring back the old money saving institution of the mattress.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TYRUS: You are going to have American say don't put it in the bank, you're going to lose it. So then you're going to see guys like drug dealers and money launderers getting their own infomercials, teaching Americans how to protect and hide their money. Because it's not -- yes.
GUTFELD: They're applauding drug dealers on Fox News.
TYRUS: Because we're going to end up all -- we're all domestic terrorist, why not throw some drug dealing in there anyway?
GUTFELD: It's true.
MILLS: And that $600.
TYRUS: Because you're not -- because I'm telling you right now, a rich tax Dodger. His bank accounts are on an island somewhere, because he's rich, and he knows how to divert his funds. So you're going to mess with the single dad whose child support is murdering him. And everything else in it. By the way did you make -- did you make $200 on DraftKings? Tax is out. You know what I'm saying? Like, no, we're laughing but wait until it happens to you. Happens to me? I'm just be out.
TIMPF: Well, I don't think I'll be a single dad. But --
GUTFELD: There's still time.
TYRUS: You can identify whatever you want.
(CROSSTALK)
TYRUS: It's all on you. Yes.
(CROSSTALK)
TYRUS: I'm a pregnant -- I'm a pregnant mom.
GUTFELD: Yes. Kat, again. Is there something that we're not being told?
TIMPF: Yes. We're not being told anything. They're just saying what it's not, but they're not telling us why.
GUTFELD: What it is.
TIMPF: But -- yes. Nobody asks why or what do you mean, which is why when they say tax the rich people are like, yes, yes. And I'm like, wait a minute. Have you ever thought maybe you're the rich?
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: You never asked them what the rich means. And now this is to go after, you know, wealthy people. But the limit is having had a cumulative $600 in a single year. That is -- excuse me, like there was a year where I had a brief time where I didn't have a place to live. I spent $600 that year.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: I was not a wealthy person that year.
GUTFELD: No, no, you weren't.
TIMPF: No, I wasn't.
GUTFELD: No, you weren't.
TIMPF: But you know what? I'm stronger for it.
TYRUS: You know what, I just --
(CROSSTALK)
TYRUS: Political donors will be tracked now.
GUTFELD: Oh, yes. Political donations.
TYRUS: Oh, you donated $200 to the Republicans. Oh, you're getting tax.
GUTFELD: Oh, that's right.
TYRUS: Yes. Watch out.
GUTFELD: Yes. I think they do that though, right? Everybody knows political donations, right?
LI: Well, I think you have to declare over a certain amount. You're killing --
GUTFELD: You're the business expert here.
LI: Apparently. Tyrus is pretty good I would say.
TYRUS: See?
LI: Not bad.
GUTFELD: So money in the mattress.
LI: Or it goes into Bitcoin or cryptocurrency or coinbase? Or you're killing your own financial --
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: What if you put your Bitcoins in the mattress?
LI: Well --
TYRUS: You can't. I know the answer this one. It doesn't exist. It doesn't exist.
GUTFELD: You have to drill -- you have to drill for the --
(CROSSTALK)
LI: I like that. You're connecting both --
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: Don't talk to me like I'm a child with a head injury.
TYRUS: But you're dressed like a private school student.
GUTFELD: All right. I don't even have --
TIMPF: You're like all the kids in the movie School of Rock.
GUTFELD: Overrated movie.
TIMPF: I think underrated.
GUTFELD: Oh, all right. Well, it's no DraftKings. I thought you said DraftKings. And I thought about it for a while.
TYRUS: That works too, Greg.
GUTFELD: Yes. All right. Up next. I didn't ask you a question.
LI: You did.
GUTFELD: OK.
LI: Yes. A lot of --
GUTFELD: Up next. Were Facebook workers clowning around when their site crash to the ground?
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Did you go out of your head the day Facebook crapped the bed? Time stood still for several hours yesterday as his Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp were all down. And for a few terrifying hours, people around the world suddenly found themselves being productive. This just as 60 Minutes aired a segment in which a whistleblower claimed that company covered up evidence that its platform was spreading hate misinformation. Talk about a coincidence.
That's like me calling in sick after a night hot tubbing with Geraldo. Oh, it's food poisoning. No, it's Geraldo poisoning. Oh, I got an (INAUDIBLE) as it turns out, Facebook's own engineers were to blame. They admitted as much in a blog posts with a bunch of high tech words like configuration changes on the backbone routers. Translation, some dolt hit the wrong button. They leaned against a switch, and it effectively removed Facebook from the internet.
It's hilarious. It is hilarious. What button did they push to make it all go away? And can they do it again permanently? It's a good -- yes. I'll take the applause. I'm shallow. It's a good lesson for all of us. It's why we never let our interns get too close to the controls.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Steve, do not press that button.
JOE MACHI, COMEDIAN: What, this button? Yes.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes. Yes. Don't --
MACHI: That was amazing.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, my God. We're going to be in so much trouble. Do not press that again.
MACHI: Why wouldn't I press it again?
Oh, that was awesome.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do not press it a third time. We got lucky the first two times, do not do it again.
MACHI: I got it.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The third time --
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: You know, Tyrus, it's a little-known fact there is a button in this building that can change the stations while we're on TV, did you know that?
TYRUS, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: A remote?
GUTFELD: Yes, it's a universal remote.
TYRUS: Wow!
GUTFELD: And it changes everything.
TYRUS: Man --
GUTFELD: I know --
TYRUS: You go back if you miss something?
GUTFELD: Yes, yes. Yes. Did you miss me when Facebook went down? We couldn't look, we couldn't share photos.
TYRUS: OK. First of all, I don't have a Facebook.
GUTFELD: Then, who's the guy that have been -- like --
TYRUS: No, I don't know because I don't have --
GUTFELD: I sent private personal photos to you.
TYRUS: You never once bothered why I never comment commented, or you thought I was keeping --
GUTFELD: You said I know Todd in that.
TYRUS: It wasn't me, Gutfeld. Yes, I don't, I don't have Facebook. I like playing outside. But I hope for those who and there was a few people that I saw were getting pretty upset. And I was like six hours, you -- that you need to look in the mirror real hard. If you couldn't look at a picture of somebody's fake life.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TYRUS: For six hours. But more importantly that, this whole, the leaking thing and seeing that Facebook is just like our government where they try to play everybody against each other and that profit from it. This could have been a good time for parents to really think about it, too. We need to make sure that our kids aren't on social media. There's no -- they don't need it. Just like you wouldn't give your kid a beer and a pack of cigarettes.
GUTFELD: Right.
TYRUS: Don't give your kids social media, because of the long term effects can be actually worse than cigarettes if you're looking at some of the stuff that's going on.
GUTFELD: And that's the same effect on the brain, right? The brain chemistry is affected.
TYRUS: And we need to challenge Facebook, why are not -- why is it only celebrities that are verified? Why is not everybody verified? Why -- you have to have an eye -- I know, Democrat is going to cry. You should have to have a driver's license or identification card to have a social media account. So, people know who you are, you can be held accountable, and we can stop all the fake, not like what the guy asked for -- the fake, the fake --
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: I mean, I have Instagram accounts for both of my animals.
TYRUS: Wow. Well, I have nothing else to say, Kat. I give up.
GUTFELD: You're a, you're an expert in this sort of thing, Susan, you've talked about this on Fox Business where, she is. And you -- and aside from your course language, you have a lot to say about this. What is going on?
SUSAN LI, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK CORRESPONDENT: A lot of people came up to me saying it couldn't be coincidence.
GUTFELD: Right.
LI: Right after "60 Minutes," whistleblower testimony on Tuesday, and then all of a sudden, everything blows up because of routine maintenance? Yes, I would say yes. It's kind of hard to believe for a company that's worth a trillion dollars that has, what, 60 percent of the world's connected Internet users on their platforms, and one button brings the whole thing down.
GUTFELD: Yes, they leaned against it. I hope that's true. I don't have any evidence for this. But that's never stopped me from making a definite claim about something.
LI: But I didn't use global backbone capacity, data servers that would have put you to sleep --
GUTFELD: Yes, you can just put those three (INAUDIBLE) together, Susan, doesn't mean a damn thing to me. But you sound great doing it. They'll tell you that much. Kat, you are probably, did you get the shakes? By the way, it seems kind of weird that people think that it's a big deal. Facebook is kind of dead, right?
TIMPF: Yes.
GUTFELD: I mean, you're more into TikTok or TikTak.
TIMPF: I -- no. I was doing TikTok, TikTok for a couple -- TikTok for a couple weeks. I probably do spend too much time on social media, but I don't agree with people saying that. being addicted to social media is the same as being addicted to heroin, which I've heard a lot of recently.
GUTFELD: Yes, me too.
TIMPF: If you do mean that both should be, you know, free of heroin use an opiate use, and social media use should be free of government restrictions, I do. But anyone saying the addictions are the same, has clearly never met a heroin addict.
GUTFELD: Yes, that's true.
TIMPF: Like, I dated one very briefly. I literally did. Whatever. We was long distance. I realized he relapsed and it was over pretty quickly when I realized that he definitely did. Long story short, he died owing me thousands of dollars. I don't think that's going to happen to little Susie who's on Snapchat too much. Not really a comparable situation.
GUTFELD: I don't know, I've gotten a lot of money out of that Tyrus guy.
TYRUS: It's not me, Gutfeld.
GUTFELD: He paid for, he paid for a lot of those photos, Cory. Photos that I give away for free. Anyway, would the world be a better place without Facebook?
CORY MILLS, U.S. ARMY COMBAT VETERAN: Absolutely. I mean, look, here's the bottom line. So, we know for a fact that the Taliban, as they continue to clear out all Afghanistan, what did they utilize as their actual communication method? WhatsApp. Not to mention the fact that Facebook, which I'm surprised hasn't been investigated further, and I found out earlier, is responsible for over half of the active recruitment of sex trafficking.
GUTFELD: Oh, wow.
MILLS: So, that's all for Facebook. I mean, granted, I feel bad for the guy who's like, I've lost all my friends, I have to go actually talk to people now. I have had Facebook since, I don't know High School but the whole point is, is that I think that the world is better off with a lot of social media. People, like, to actually have go out and engage with one another. You can't have sexual predators and others who are basically preying upon the way they do you with your photos.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MILLS: And so, you know, and not to mention the fact that there actually -- there's terrorist organizations who can be verified. For example, as a congressional candidate, I can't be verified on Twitter, but don't worry about it, the spokesperson for the Taliban has an -- has a Twitter approved, verified account.
GUTFELD: You have a better beard than him.
MILLS: So true. So true.
GUTFELD: There's a joke in there.
MILLS: I feel so flattered right now.
TYRUS: It wasn't me Gutfeld.
GUTFELD: All right. All right. I got to go. They're going to -- waving me on. Thank God because I was going to say something offensive. Coming up, Katie Couric makes a fuss, throwing everyone and their moms under the bus.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Who knew Katie was so full of Haiti. If you work anywhere in network news the past 30 years, Katie Couric has something nasty to say about you. It's the worst exposure for TV journalism since Charlie Rose left his bathrobe open.
In her new memoir, going there, Katie trashes almost everyone she's encountered and confesses to treating other women terribly. The book's content was enough for CBS to ban her for promoting it on their air. It's an unflattering inside look and that's saying a lot about a woman who televise her own colonoscopy.
From saying she loved to piss off Diane Sawyer and admitting to purposely mistreating Ashley Banfield. She mistreated Ashley Banfield. Oh my God! Her bridge burning has many asking why she would publish something like this. But I totally get it, people love gossip. In fact, I just completed my newest tell all, it's called "Spilling His Gut."
In it, in it, I dish on all the seedy things some Fox hosts have done over the years. For example, did you know originally the idea for "FOX AND FRIENDS" was to have two anchors and an actual Fox host the show. But the animal ended up mauling Brian Kilmeade. So, they killed the idea and the fox. And Brian remains severely disfigured to this day. Look at that. So brave man for coming out like that. The makeup can only hide so much, Susan.
Also, how about this: Julie Banderas' real name is Julio Canderas. She changed both her name and her gender in the 90s to avoid arrest for her participation in a murderous drug ring. Don't let her, I'm just a casual mom having wine fool you. She'll cut your heart out with a nail file. You won't believe this one. Peter Doocy is actually Steve Doocey's father. Turns out, turns out Peter is 78 years old, and Steve is 24 but has spent way too much time at a tanning bed. That boat will be going on sail shortly. Kat, is it just impossible to keep some things to yourself? What is your theory?
TIMPF: I thought that I had a hard time with it.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: But there's some things I do keep to myself. I guess maybe it was just because everyone around her was getting canceled. And she's like, man, I did all this horrible stuff, so no one better cancel me, no one better cancel me.
GUTFELD: That's it.
TIMPF: She was like, I did so much horrible stuff. Why is no one canceling me? Like, I don't want to compare it? Because it's a horrible thing to say, but I'm going to because I can't think of anything else and the spotlight is on me. It's kind of like how the BTK killer got caught.
GUTFELD: Oh really?
TIMPF: He was jealous of all the attention Ted Bundy was getting for his murders.
GUTFELD: There you go.
TIMPF: He started sending stuff to the cops. And then he got caught. She's cancelled because she cancelled herself because she wanted the attention. I don't think she's killed anyone, because if she did, she would have put it in there.
GUTFELD: Yes. Great point. By the way, that reminds me, remember Morgan Spurlock?
TIMPF: No.
GUTFELD: OK, never mind. Supersize me, he pre-canceled himself.
TIMPF: Oh yes.
GUTFELD: Remember that? He pre-canceled himself. It's not for this topic, Susan, stop bringing up things that are not for this. Is there any business reason to do this? She's rich. She's got F.U. money, do you want me to tell --
LI: I can -- I think I can decipher what that means. But you know, it's, it's 60. Maybe it's a cathartic experience for her. She needs to you know, get rid of the guilt that she experienced because I kind of enjoyed the gossip to be honest.
GUTFELD: Yes, I don't mind it.
LI: I mean, look under the hood, you know, all the beautiful (INAUDIBLE) and breakfast TV wars, who knew so Katy?
GUTFELD: No, you know what, it was all a front. Oh, America's sweetheart, Cory. She was America's Satan.
MILLS: Agreed. And again, I'm just curious well, because I haven't read the book obviously. But I'm curious what she has to say about Matt Lauer and some of her other guests. I'm really curious to see what, you know, Katie Couric actually uncovers on this, what she actually expects to achieve by it.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes, I think you know what it is, I think that part of -- I think she wants a reality show? I'm not sure about that. But there's like, there's one, like you got to figure out what is her last play, Tyrus.
MILLS: She wants to be relevant again?
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.
TYRUS: What have you called like, Katie hates everybody?
GUTFELD: Yes. It's like the reverse of, yes, everybody hates, Chris.
TYRUS: You know, I have a problem with this I, and I've been in entertainment a long time wrestling, movies, here, something about talking about what goes on behind closed doors is just offensive to me. You know, even when they tell the good stories or whatever, there's a, you earn the right to be somewhere and the stuff that happens indoors is between you and the other professionals.
Writing books about it to me, it just seems, it's cheap, and there's nothing to it and yes, she's going to sell just because of -- I read some of the things. And I was like, why would you replay this? What was the point other than trying to make a fast buck?
GUTFELD: Yes, you know --
TYRUS: At the expense of your colleagues.
GUTFELD: One of the things, the revelations is that she was around Prince Harry when he was 20. And get this, he smelled like booze and cigarettes. Well, could you imagine that?
TYRUS: He's from England?
GUTFELD: Yes, he's from England. The big ban is a giant cigarette.
TIMPF: He was 20.
GUTFELD: And he's 20. Like everybody who's 20, if you don't smell like booze and cigarettes, there's something wrong with you.
TIMPF: You suck, yes.
GUTFELD: Definitely see a doctor.
TYRUS: She's trying to be like Don Rickles at a roast except she's not funny at all, which is not a roast then it's just picking on people.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes. Yes. You know what, TV makes people weird.
LI: Well, did you hear what she wrote about Les Moonves, how he's a close talker with bad breath? That's pretty caustic. I was like, Wow.
TYRUS: Thanks.
LI: Maybe give a heads up before you wrote the book.
GUTFELD: That would, that's funny. That'd be a great little book. A little, a book that just publishes all the people with bad breath.
TYRUS: Yes.
GUTFELD: Famous people with bad breath. I would read that book. I'd go through the index and make sure I'm not in it. I'm above Greg Gimble. Remember him? Gumble.
LI: Gumble. Gumble. Greg Gumble.
GUTFELD: Greg Gumble. I'm trying to think a double G's, Gilbert Godfried, he's got good breath. I've been around him. His breath is like daisies. All right, up next, a trip to space isn't too bold for the actor who's 90 years old.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: It's the final frontier for William Shatner, but hopefully this trip to orbit won't lead to Captain Kirk's obit.
Next week, William Shatner will launch into space for real, aboard Jeff Bezos Blue Origin rocket. The actor confirmed the trip on Twitter writing, "Yes, it's true. I'm going to be a rocket man." At 90 years old, Shatner is set to become the oldest person ever in space, aside from this.
And Shatner will share the ride with three other space tourists. It's my favorite villain from Star Trek. The flight is only 10 minutes but Shatner thinks it's going to be a long, long time. So, good luck, Bill, may the force be with you. You know? Right? Talks, you know, because it's like, no, Battlestar Galactica.
TYRUS: No.
GUTFELD: Space 1999.
TYRUS: Maybe just ask the question hot stuff.
GUTFELD: At 90, going to space, I mean, that's going to be a lot of loose stools flying around.
TIMPF: You couldn't make it a whole show without a poop though.
GUTFELD: I got it all the way to the end, and that that's a great --
TIMPF: A record.
GUTFELD: But really, he's going to poop his pants. Where's that going to go in space? It's going to float around. Maybe (INAUDIBLE) depository --- I'm thinking this through. Put a cork up there.
TYRUS: Nobody interrupt him. He's on a hot streak. Go, Gutfeld.
GUTFELD: I'm going to leave a hot streak.
TYRUS: OK. Well, I was I was happy that he was going outer space. Now, I'm not going to watch.
GUTFELD: Did I pollute it for you?
TYRUS: Because you know you haven't even got to his name yet. Shatner. So, I'm sure you're going to go there.
GUTFELD: Past tense. It's the past tense.
TYRUS: Yes. Well, that's my time, ladies and gentlemen.
GUTFELD: Kat, this is -- I thought this is a brilliant marketing move of Bezos.
TIMPF: Yes.
GUTFELD: Though he owns Amazon.
TIMPF: Yes, he does.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: I have heard of him before. I guess, I mean, look, I would go to space, if someone invited me. But I also worry, I'd be disappointed.
GUTFELD: Well --
TIMPF: It's been so exclusive for years.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: You ever go to like an exclusive place you can finally get into, sometimes it sucks. Space could suck, just how would we know?
GUTFELD: Yes, knowing you, you probably be the first one there.
TIMPF: Oh, yes. You can't text people ask me what they're mad at you? I just don't think I like it.
GUTFELD: No, no, no. Just go to a really large, empty room.
TIMPF: It's probably the same, and free.
GUTFELD: Exactly. Cory, I still think this is, I think this is exciting. I'm excited for him.
MILLS: I think it's exciting, but I think the thing that no one's really looked past and I certainly can't is the uncanny, uncanny resemblance between Jeff Bezos and Dr. Evil. And the fact that they literally almost modeled their aircraft into the same phallic object.
GUTFELD: True.
MILLS: Before it goes off, and I hope -- I know that's got enough tension yet.
GUTFELD: No, you're right. You're right.
MILLS: I'll tell you, I think it's really exciting.
GUTFELD: Yes, I'm excited, there you go. I almost thought that was Dr. Evil but it's actually Jeff Bezos.
Wouldn't that'd be bad, wouldn't that be sad if your name was Evil, and you wanted to go to med school but you can't?
LI: I don't think it's space though, right? Don't they just go up for 10 minutes and just come back down?
GUTFELD: Oh, now you're, now you're, you know you are -- you're orbit shaming. They're only going up for -- if I went up for 10 minutes, I would not come back, I would be a mess.
TYRUS: She just blew holes through your whole --
GUTFELD: No, no, because if it goes to orbit, he's still going to have to poop because all the (BLEEP) going to come flying up.
TYRUS: He can't it for 10 hours?
GUTFELD: 10 minutes.
LI: 10 minutes.
TYRUS: 10 minutes, Greg.
GUTFELD: Yes, I have problems holding it for 10 minutes.
LI: There are (INAUDIBLE) these days, right? I do believe they make that product.
GUTFELD: Yes, it depends.
TIMPF: You wear diapers at space.
GUTFELD: Yes, you can wear diapers.
MILLS: Now, there's going to be like a special one space version of the pin.
GUTFELD: Remember the astronaut that wore the diaper. You remember her? She was driving across country, that's what she got the idea. Remember the diaper lady?
TYRUS: Yes, she didn't want to stop so she could go kill people.
GUTFELD: Yes, there you go. You know, I'm glad that we've ended on such an astronaut you kill in a diaper. Don't go away. We'll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: We are back. By the way, the astronaut lady, didn't actually kill anybody.
TYRUS: I'm so sorry Greg, please don't cancel me.
TIMPF: Or me.
GUTFELD: I'm canceling you. We are out of time thanks to Cory Mills, Susan Li, Kat Timpf, Tyrus, our studio audience. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with evil Shannon Bream is next.
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