Gutfeld on CIA recruitment video: They replaced CIA with TMI

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Gutfeld on CIA recruitment video: They replaced CIA with TMI

'Gutfeld!' panel discuss identity politics' influence over society

This is a rush transcript from "Gutfeld!," May 4, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

BRIAN STELTER, CNN ANCHOR: At the same time, Bill, humor is so polarized. Fox News trying to launch a late-night comedy show, trying to compete with Colbert and Kimmel. How's it going?

BILL CARTER, CNN MEDIA ANALYST: Well, you know, the Gutfeld Show is what I expected, which is that it's not really about comedy or satire. It's about revenge. The idea is to tell jokes that get them riled up and they're not being entertained, they're being incited. And the idea is for them to say, yes, that'll show him.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Oh, he got me. So why wouldn't Brian Stelter defend me considering I gave him his start in cable news?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Brian, I like to play a little game where I just stay in my apartment, and I don't pick up the phone to see if anybody will come and check on me. Have you ever thought about doing that?

STELTER: And no one -- no one pays the rent. I mean, the landlord came after seven years to evict them. I want a landlord who won't evict me for seven years.

GUTFELD: Exactly. It makes no sense.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: You know, with hair he's like a little adorable hamster.

Too bad the Oscars were last week because the CIA could have gone home with more gold than William DeVane. Have you seen their latest recruitment video? It's a gut-wrenching portrayal of one woman's triumph over bigotry and injustice in a world filled with pain and confusion.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I'm a woman of color. I am a mom. I am a cisgender millennial who has been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I am intersectional. But my existence is not a box checking exercise.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Wait, didn't she just check every box? By the way, who actually says I'm intersectional? I mean, besides my couch. Here's more.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I used to struggle with imposter syndrome. But at 36 I refuse to internalize misguided patriarchal ideas of what a woman can or should be. I am unapologetically me. I want you to be unapologetically you, whoever you are.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Just what we wanted in a secret agent, one who blows their cover five seconds after meeting you. They replace CIA with TMI. Talk about oversharing How can this person go undercover? Aren't spies supposed to have a secret identity and not identify openly as 18 different things? Forget name, rank and serial number. Yes, my name is Susan Thomas. I am an art dealer traveling abroad.

But really I'm a bisexual non-binary gender studies graduate with student debt and childhood trauma who's in the CIA. Whoops, I should have left that part out and I have to kill you. The whole point of being the CIA is not being true to our identity. Whether you're a Latin ex or Scottish, especially if you're Scottish. The bagpipes are a dead giveaway. So, I say get over yourself or selves.

But sadly wokeness is now how we do business and even the CIA is in on it. Man, was I dumb? I thought that kind of P.C. builds had an expiration date once you graduated, like playing hacky sack or listening to Cat Stevens. The understanding was that this stuff was worthless once he left college, but I was wrong. The wokesters are now officially everywhere, drowning us with their box checking vernacular. Could you imagine being interrogated by a new age agent?

Talk about torture. Ed, we saw you purchase the ingredients for the pipe bombs. You were obviously acting out against the racist classes as patriarchal colonizers, trying to prevent you from being your best, most authentic self as a result of your lived experiences as a survivor of your chronic bedwetting or as we call it creative peeing.

You will confess to anything to stop them from droning on about themselves. Yes, yes, I had a bomb in my shoe. Please stop forcing me to list my favorite role models of color. So I admit this is like shooting sustainably raised salmon in a barrel. This video is not exactly top secret, and this woman is serving our country so good for her. But every blinking Yahoo on this planet can see how silly America's premier's intelligent agency actually is.

Even Twitter laughed, but not the CIA. These videos came out of multiple meetings and strategy sessions. The fact that they put this out there, it's kind of a huge blind spot. And spy agencies shouldn't have blind spots. It's like your dad getting an earring for his 50th birthday. Maybe this video might even get people to join the CIA but me, this level of malarkey couldn't get me to join an orgy. But maybe that's the points.

One more non-binary intersectional type means one less angry white male like me on staff. Right, angry white male?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: How would I describe myself? I'm a regular guy, I guess. I like sports. I like -- I guess I like my job. I love my family. What's this for? The news? Because I hate the news.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: You got to wonder what the world thinks of this. Our enemies are giggling like Don Lemon on a bicycle. Just the image that I find humorous. That is we have foreign enemies who dream of nothing more than killing each one of us every day. And I doubt that Oprah level University approved talking points about gender and race would scare them. By the by, have you ever wondered what a politically correct secret agent might look like? We already did.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This Christmas, Bond is back like you've never seen him before.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You hungry? I had an extra one.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: (INAUDIBLE)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Of course not, violence is so uncivilized.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's the same James Bond, you know, love, rewritten to please even the most progressive, socially conscious movie goer in 2018.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What it will be, sir? Let me guess. Martini shaken, not stirred?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Latte, soy latte, for decaf.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Extra deep one?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The beans sustainably sourced. I only drink organic farm-raised homegrown cruelty free coffee.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I have no idea.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: With entry and suspense.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Your move 007.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Is it? No, seriously, is it? I don't know how to play this game. I saw at a TED talk recently that competitive activities only encouraged toxic masculinity and marginalized disenfranchised communities into unjust hierarchical structures reinforced by a bigoted and corrupt system.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You're bluffing.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That's a bluff.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It isn't a Bond film without seduction.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well, James, I've had a really lovely evening. Cats come inside.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You know, I don't appreciate the heteronormative assumptions in your proposition. It's regressive anti-neo feminist rhetoric like that, that perpetuates a patriarchal society of oppression and gendered subjugation, not the least of which I care to contribute to.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You could have just said now.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So get ready for the most politically correct secret agent of all time. No guns, no gambling, no girls, it's James Bond in The Spy Who Consensually Agreed In Writing She Loved Me.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You must be Q.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's LGBTQ now.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: (INAUDIBLE)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Your mission should you choose to accept it is to reject virtue signaling of all kinds. Good luck. This segment will self-destruct in five seconds.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guest. She chairs the Senate subcommittee on awesome, Tennessee Senator Marsha Blackburn. She went from pompoms to truth bombs. "OUTNUMBERED" cohost, Emily Compagno. She's three days into her first marriage. Fox News Contributor, Kat Timpf. And his tattoo artist charges in by the yard. My massive sidekick and host of "NUFF SAID" on Fox Nation, Tyrus.

All right, Senator. How did you -- what did you think when you heard -- first heard that video? I mean, it's the language that drives me crazy. I like the fact that she's serving the country, but it's the CIA. It's so little -- it's touchy feely.

SEN. MARSHA BLACKBURN (R-TN): Well, the CIA should be about recruiting the best and brightest than there are.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BLACKBURN: About protecting this country. About stopping bad actors, bad people bad things from happening. And here we are putting the focus on someone that has imposter syndrome. And it's completely inappropriate.

GUTFELD: You know what's interesting about that? When you say imposter syndrome. Nobody knows what that is. But Kat.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Yes.

BLACKBURN: We all know what imposter say.

TIMPF: Yes. It's like kind of how I'm this huge superstar and a national treasure but I don't really realize that by myself.

GUTFELD: Everybody has imposter syndrome.

TIMPF: Right.

GUTFELD: Because that -- what that means is you think that you're not -- you think people are going to find out that you're actually not good at what you do.

TIMPF: Right. Even -- yes. I do. I am worried about that. Even though I'm excellent and unparalleled at what I do. Look, I just think that this in the reaction all of it kind of proves how broken and how the Democratic Party in the left in general, it's not just that they're obsessed with wokeness that's kind of all that matters to them. Because it's not shocking to see that conservatives don't like this.

I mean, it is pretty ridiculous. But on the left, you know, Jacobin mag is the only place I saw point this out hey, you know, the CIA is not woke with their decades of, you know, hyper militarization and all these things. These are things that liberals are not supposed to like but be like, oh, look at this nice ad. She made a nice little word salad of all these nice buzz words that everyone's supposed to say and then boom, that's enough.

Just like how for vice president they nominated a corrupt cop because she had the identity politics that fit. That's all that matters and it's crazy.

GUTFELD: It's an interesting trend because corporations are realizing that if you use the woke vernacular, they will overlook everything.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Including not paying your taxes.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Or making, you know, ice cream that will like give you heart disease in 10 years.

TIMPF: Yes. Justin Trudeau blackface multiple times, like anything. You use the right buzzword -- may have -- make the right buzzword salad of wokeness, you're fine.

GUTFELD: So Emily, good to see you. That's all.

EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: I've been waiting for it.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: This is part of -- this is part of a I think a series called humans of the CIA, which by the way, the title is pretty funny. Because it sounds like we know they're humans in the CIA. But it's like they were trying too hard to appeal. It's -- again, it's like your dad getting an earring. It's just like, so the CIA is trying too hard.

COMPAGNO: Absolutely. And they're the last agency that needs to try it all.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Yes.

COMPAGNO: That's the other thing. Like we all know what goes on behind those closed doors.

GUTFELD: Right.

COMPAGNO: We've all seen the movies, we know it all. And that's why that video that you guys made is so funny because I just kept thinking to myself, Mitch Rapp would never make a video like that Jason Bourne or 007 would never make a video like that. And then you did. And it just pulls back the curtain of what a farce this entire thing is that they're trying to do. And I think, you know, from a management standpoint, it's such a failure because when you invite in topics that divide in politics into the workplace, of course, they're going to bring it with you -- with them.

And so it's going to become a monster you can't kill. And for an agency like the CIA, or law enforcement agencies, we need them to be a certain plug and play. We need them to be code before self. We need to understand that if an agent can't make it or doesn't show up another one will perfectly replace them in the same standard, not to a different standard, because I just want to raise my hand and talk about my differences.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: And recruiting based on those differences over the similarities and the code is a disaster. And it's dangerous. And I also don't understand why we are advertising to our enemies that like the CIA is staffed with anxious individual.

GUTFELD: Yes.

(CROSSTALK)

COMPAGNO: Helps no one.

GUTFELD: Yes. Although I would make a great CIA agent because I'm anxious all the time. And constantly thinking people are out to get me. You know what, Tyrus, here's the thing that -- don't look at me like that. You look like you're waiting for something horrible to happen. You are. OK. Who -- why does the CIA need a recruitment video when everybody loves to be -- like when you when I met Mike Baker, it's like he's in the CIA. It's like the coolest job ever. Do you really need recruitment videos to get people to join the CIA? It's a great title.

TYRUS, FOX NEW CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: I'm still stuck on imposter syndrome. I don't -- I don't get it. Like you're saying you struggle from lying about yourself a lot? Is that impossible? Like you're really deep down a pirate, but you're just doing this CIA thing until the ship comes in?

GUTFELD: No, it's --

TYRUS: You know what I'm saying?

TIMPF: Look like how I worry that I'm not brilliant and beautiful --

(CROSSTALK)

TYRUS: OK. I'm not -- it's not what I meant. The --

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: Exactly.

TYRUS: The bigger -- the bigger problem in this that I noticed and I only watched it like, three or four times that wasn't sure what I was watching. I was waiting for someone -- you to walk out and be like, got you. But I didn't hear anything about America in that entire thing or serving your country or don't worry, 3:00 a.m. I'm on the job. Well, we know you can't because of the imposter syndrome and the anxiety you don't like dark quiet places. So you can't do it.

Like this was like the me, we're not -- we're not about country. We're about me. And this is the one business where you cannot be singled out and recognized and given participation trophies for being in the CIA. You're supposed to be America first. Duty to country and honestly yourself a second.

GUTFELD: You know, it's interesting. I think that's probably the concern. Besides just the language to me is so strange. Because it's not original. This language is being passed along through academia and everybody picks up on it, but it is the -- it's the triumph of the me over the we. Wow, I just came up with that.

(CROSSTALK)

COMPAGNO: Country first.

GUTFELD: Country first.

COMPAGNO: Yes.

TYRUS: I'm trying to put it up there for you. I got to do it. Not well in your case. Set shot but, yes.

GUTFELD: You know, that's unnecessary. Coming up. The anti-cop racist rants you don't want to miss.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Would you take a class from an anti-cop ass? During a traffic stop in L.A. County, a woman claiming to be a teacher unleashed a tirade on a Latino deputy.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The speed limit is 40 and I was going 38. So why are you harassing me?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You're correct. I pulled you over because --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Because you're a murderer.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Because --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, I started to record because you're a murderer.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You can't be -- you can't be on your cell phone while you're driving.

(CROSSTALK)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Like I was on my phone. You scared me and made me think you were going to murder me.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: OK. Well, I'm sorry. You feel that way.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well, that's not just a feeling. You're a murderer. I'm perfectly legal. And I'm a teacher. Still there.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Congratulations.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You're a murderer.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What's that? Hold on still for me.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: OK, murderer.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: So, she's a teacher. I wonder what subject she teaches like how to ask to speak to the manager. I mean, imagine getting dinner with that. Later you know to probably sends back the appetizer before even ordering it. It gets worse.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He's only citing you for using your cell phone while you're driving. That's it.

(CROSSTALK)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: For being a -- for him being a Mexican racist. What is that name? Gas on.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's on the citation, ma'am.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: There you go Mexican racist. You're always going to be a Mexican. You'll never be white. You know that, right?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: My god. Something tells me this woman has had to press one for English just once too often. Yes, nothing gets you out of a traffic ticket faster than some bonus racism. O think of all the times I just tried to show some cleavage. Meanwhile, a professor at Cypress College in Southern Cal is on leave after parading a student who called police heroes.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I think cops are heroes and they have to have a difficult job but we have to have --

(CROSSTALK)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: All of them?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, I have not -- I mean, I'd say a good majority of them. You have bad people in every business and every part --

(CROSSTALK)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes. Yes. A lot of --

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: A lot of police officers have committed an atrocious crimes and have gotten away with it and have never been convicted of any of it.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Who do we call when we're in trouble and someone has a knife or a gun?

(CROSSTALK)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I wouldn't call the police.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Why wouldn't you call the police?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I don't trust them.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Who would you call?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Time to go.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: OK.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: We have to go. So trouble with a knife or gun sounds like a job for a social worker. Turns out she's not the only faculty against the force. A growing number of professors and students across the country have pledged support to the cops off campus coalition. An organization aimed at removing all police from campus. They're demanding zero police presence on May 25th.

Which sounds like a pretty good day to steal a professor's Vespa. But without campus police where would they report their hate crime hoaxes? On the upside the GoFundMe that was set up for the officer suspended for mocking LeBron James has skyrocketed to over 400 grand. That's nearly a buck for every time LeBron fakes getting fouled. That's funny, because I don't know what I just said.

I know nothing about basketball. That was written for me because I'm stupid on sports. Emily, that cop was a saint. Right?

COMPAGNO: Yes, yes, we know my temper. This is what's so insane to me that these cops endure this unrelenting verbal abuse. That was a nauseating encounter and get through it all. We expect them to not only exercise restraint, but also exhibit that polite decorum that he did. And they're also getting physically attacked and ambushed and killed. And we wonder why death by suicide for them is twice as much as dying in the line of fire.

I mean, these guys are being subjected to an incredible assault at all levels. And that trend is horrifying at the left seems to celebrate it. I find it sickening. And I think what is additionally and maybe more devastating than the community vilifying them from the left is the fact that they're not getting any public support whatsoever or the Democrat public elected officials.

GUTFELD: Right.

COMPAGNO: But they're not getting anyone that is saying these -- that is stating public messages of support so that they know that someone else has their back, these guys are being isolated and it's really troubling.

GUTFELD: You know, it is -- Senator, it -- is it this this current climate of antipolice sentiment. It's like energizing people even more to openly, you know, crap on cops. I mean, she thought that she was going to get famous, like, I'm going to record this cop while he's doing absolutely nothing. But just being polite. But she feels like this is the right time to do it. You know?

BLACKBURN: Well, and this is one of the reasons people wanting to stand up and support police, like they -- the GoFundMe that has just taken off so. This is the American people voting with their dollar to say, we stand with our cops. Of course, there are going to every once in a while be someone who is not within the code of conduct.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BLACKBURN: But by and large, the overwhelming majority and God bless these men and women, every single day for the jobs that say you're doing and for what they have to endure, is they do those jobs.

GUTFELD: Yes. You know, Tyrus, it was great. He didn't use any intersectional language, but he was awesome. Like, I mean, you know the thing and like, people forget that they -- that they have to put up with idiots every day. And that was a true idiot.

TYRUS: Yes. And you know, I think even harder for him is that I'm not 100 percent but I'm pretty sure she was Hispanic too. And sometimes the word -- and I said before racism is not just for whites anymore. Being called basically she was calling him Uncle Tom and Mexican, the word that she was looking for.

GUTFELD: Right.

TYRUS: But this trend of making it fashionable to resist arrest or to struggle with police officers leads down a road that ends up bad for a lot of people.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: She's not Rosa Parks in that moment. And she's borderline in criminal. And she couldn't accept her consequences and this is the last individual that should be teaching children anything. Just based off her comments and her lack of education, that when she was frustrated, and she was caught on the phone, the only thing she could do was call names and make racist comments about somebody. That's in our classroom. That's teaching our kids to problem solve.

Imagine she is with our kids. Same thing with the other professor. This is who's educating our kids. They're setting precedents because they're not affected. She got away with it. She probably could have spit on him. And he got away with it. But that cop that -- the bad cop everybody talks about, you pull that with him. It's not going to end that way. So why put yourself in that situation?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: For the one out of every 200 cops that are not going to take that. Why would you incite that?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: And then why would you polarize it? No one should be applauding her.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: Should be ashamed of herself.

GUTFELD: Yes. You know, Kat. I have a feeling that after all this happens. She's now going to become the victim. She tried to like -- so she tried to film it. And then she got filmed. And now she's going to say like, now I'm getting death threats after she -- she was calling him a murder.

TIMPF: Right.

GUTFELD: That's my prediction.

TIMPF: Right, yes. Because it's totally normal when you're, you know, mildly inconvenience to just call that person a murderer. Same thing I do when I go out to eat, they're out of clam chowder.

GUTFELD: You murderer.

TIMPF: You murderer. It's awful. And there really are real things that need to be done criminal justice reform arise, police reform arise. Nobody with half a brain could think that means there is going to be no law enforcement agency.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: They're going to have laws, you have to have law enforcement. And the more ridiculous this gets, the further we get away from actually making the changes that need to be made. Because yes, we need police, we need a law enforcement agency. I'm in the process of getting murdered. I am definitely calling the cops before I call the therapist.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Therapist is for later.

GUTFELD: Especially if the therapist is trying to kill you.

TIMPF: No.

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: All sessions are on Zoom now. Yes.

GUTFELD: All right. Well those getting wed get arrested instead?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

ANNOUNCER: "CANCELING TORNADO."

GUTFELD: You may now kiss the bride before you're locked up inside. Washington, D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser has banned standing and dancing at weddings under new social distancing guidelines. Also, all plus ones must be naked. Now, many couples are scrambling to move their weddings outside D.C. with just a few weeks' notice. Bowser's office said the band is yet another step to reduce the COVID spread because when people hit the dance floor, their behavior changes. It's true. I once caught salmonella from the chicken dance.

Anyway. Sorry. We're not the only country missing out on good times. I love the chicken dance. Germany is canceled Oktoberfest for the second straight year. Even though Oktoberfest is several months' away official say, COVID numbers are just too high and German hospitals are struggling. And health is priority number one at a festival dedicated to booze and smoked meats. Still, you got a feel for the people of Munich. We caught up with an Oktoberfest, fest, for tender to see how they're holding up.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm certainly disappointed that Oktoberfest has been canceled once again. But on the bright side, this gives me a chance to catch up on my favorite American show, "GUTFELD!" Greg has been quite famous in Germany since the mid-80s when he made those erotic films here. Many people enjoyed the dwarf from Dusseldorf Part Three. It was much better than the first two. Anyone who has seen it knows why Greg's abs are known all throughout Bavaria.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Those were the days. Kat, obviously, you are now married person. Are you glad that you were married here and you could dance?

TIMPF: Yes, although in New York, you're supposed to have dance zones.

GUTFELD: Oh really?

TIMPF: Where it's -- I'm not kidding. Where it's only people from a household can dance in one area apart -- six feet apart from other dance zones, which obviously my official answers that's absolutely what we did. But the real answer is who would do that?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Who would ever do that? No one would do that. No one would do this either. No dancing or standing, or no being near anyone outside of your house. Let's you sit there with a mask on for several hours sitting next to only the people you've been locked inside with for over a year. No, no one would do that. And there are ways to do things responsibly.

I had a very, very small wedding. Everyone that was vaccinated except for a handful of people who got multiple, multiple sets. There are ways to do this and making the rules this ridiculous that are no one's going to follow them. That's not guidance that they might as well just do nothing. Nobody's, nobody's going to do this.

GUTFELD: Very important to shave your dance zone. Yes, it's very unruly, Tyrus.

TYRUS: Yes, I love --

GUTFELD: Terrible. I don't know what that meant, Tyrus.

TYRUS: Yes, I don't either. I'm just doing my own thing. But I love these rules. These are great rules, because now I have more outs not to go to weddings. I would go but there's no dancing. If I'm not cutting a rug, I'm throwing stuff around. So, it's not you. It's me. Sorry, hon, we'll go --

SEN. MARSHA BLACKBURN (R-TN): Tyrus, come to Tennessee will let you dance in the streets at your wedding. And we're open for business --

TYRUS: I would but I think I need to tell you that I'm suffering from imposter syndrome. I'm not really a dancer. I just said that, so I can get out of the wedding and you completely ruin my attempt to get out of a wedding. Thank you, Senator.

BLACKBURN: You're welcome, anytime.

GUTFELD: It's true though, like Tennessee. You things are back to normal and have been back to normal for quite some time. And how are your rates? Your rates are not like anything worse than --

BLACKBURN: No, where -- we're in great shape and we are moving past this. People in Tennessee have said, we want to get back to normal, people back to work, kids back in school. And of course, you know, go to church. Go down on Broadway, go dance. You know that's fine.

GUTFELD: Yes. Can you call the owner of this company and convince them to move Fox to Nashville?

BLACKBURN: You might as well, everybody else is moving.

TYRUS: You want me to call Uncle Murdock.

BLACKBURN: Come on. Come on.

GUTFELD: We don't need to be in New York anymore. We don't. We don't. We don't. Sorry, everybody, but we don't. OK.

BLACKBURN: But you might get Tennessee imposter syndrome if you don't get there.

GUTFELD: That is true. That is true. All right, Emily, what do you what do you want to talk about, Oktoberfest or the wedding?

COMPAGNO: I'll talk about the wedding.

GUTFELD: OK.

COMPAGNO: So, there's a Sicilian saying that translates to I will dance at your wedding and it means that you will because you will celebrate. It's like, there you don't attend a wedding and not dance because that's a way that you celebrate and, and really contribute to that joy and that union. So, I can't imagine a wedding without dancing. It's like a wedding.

BLACKBURN: Or standing.

COMPAGNO: Or standing. Exactly, the whole thing is ridiculous. I feel bad for any of the businesses that of course will now have their support wiped away as everyone just flees across the border "Footloose" style because OK, we can't stand here. Then I'll just drive 25 miles and stand and drink and dance here.

GUTFELD: Yes. We've turned into the -- Americas turned into the movie "Footloose." You know, why is it, why is it the pandemic getting rid of the things we don't like? Like baby showers and stuff like that. Still to come, one way to clean up, mary Bill Gates without a prenup.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Was this Internet Explorer starting to bore her. Bill and Melinda Gates are getting a divorce after 27 years of marriage and court documents reveal that the pair whose fortune is estimated at well over $100 billion did not have a prenup in place when they got hitched. This from a man who makes you scroll through 40 pages for a software update. His wife Melinda was the one to file calling the marriage irretrievably broken.

Maybe they should have gotten the extended warranty? In a statement, the couple said we will continue to work together at the foundation, but we no longer believe we can grow together as a couple in this next phase of our lives. In a Netflix documentary that came out two years ago, Bill explained that he took the decision to get married very seriously.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We cared a lot for each other. And there were only two possibilities. Either we were going to break up or we were going to get married.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: If it wasn't going to work with him, I would have moved on. I knew I would move on. He had to make a decision. And one day he walked his bedroom, his whiteboard had the pros and the cons of getting married.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: It was so over when they were doing this documentary. I just realized that that was like she was like she never would have loved me at any like Bill and Melinda say they tried everything they could to make the marriage work including turning it off and turning it on again. Tyrus, so this whole prenup thing is an interesting problem, because it's hard to broach before you get married. If you get married and things go south, what do you do? 100 billion.

TYRUS: Well, I just, I just feel that when you're in the 100 billion zone, if that's -- he or she takes half?

GUTFELD: Yes, it's OK.

TYRUS: You're OK.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: Yes, seriously, seriously (BLEEP) For the rest of us, we had to --

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: Make it their idea. Fellows, pay attention. She's not watching tonight. So, you have to convince them that they are more successful than you will ever be. You have to constantly bring up the time you got fired from the WWE or released from the Cowboy. You have to bring up your failures a lot. And then one day while you're eating dinner, and you'll be like, oh, we're getting married, we're going to do this and you should be like -- I was thinking, you have a good idea. And you're like, yes. If I kept mine, and you kept yours. If you think if that's what you want.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: I happen to have one right. But it has to be her idea. So, I've heard.

GUTFELD: Senator, he's very romantic, as you can tell. What is your, what is your take on, on this whole scenario? It's just a big story because of the amount of money involved, I guess.

BLACKBURN: I think anytime there's a divorce, it's sad.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BLACKBURN: And for a couple that is very visible, a couple that has worked in their foundation, I think that this is just a sad turn of events for them.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BLACKBURN: You know, I wish each of them well. Always reconciliation is the best course and but that's not the course that they have chosen. So, it's sad.

GUTFELD: And when another when a door closes, what opens, windows?

TYRUS: That's such a stupid --

COMPAGNO: I thought it was funny.

GUTFELD: Thank you. You know, Emily, you know, should be a psychic.

COMPAGNO: I know.

TYRUS: Here, come --

GUTFELD: How soon before Gates is on Tinder?

COMPAGNO: Oh, gosh. Never. Yes, that I, I can't unsee that. The interesting thing is, though --

GUTFELD: I didn't say Grindr.

COMPAGNO: It's all the same to me. They both signed the Warren Buffett Giving Pledge about 10 years ago. So, they're giving away the majority of their wealth to philanthropy and everything by the time they're dead anyway. So, and I also think you know, the interesting thing in the philanthropic world that the freak out wasn't like oh my gosh, what is this going to look like between the two of them but how it was going to affect the foundation which has a $50 billion endowment.

And I think everyone was worried that all of those lives that they affect positively would in some way be negatively impacted, which is why they were like we're not going anywhere in that regard. But I think it's been predicted and I agree that she, Melinda, is going to become more like more liberal and put her money where her mouth is in terms of more liberal causes, and what if she runs for office?

GUTFELD: Hey, Kat, you got married three days ago?

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: So, is this hitting you hard? Because you could have had a chance with Bill Gates if you just waited.

TIMPF: Yes, yes, I truly messed up. No, look, I just don't get how a prenup would work right? Ask them again. And I've been away for three days. So, keep in mind I am an expert on this.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I just like see what you know, when you do the thing like you take this? We say I do. But like if you have a prenup, you're not saying I do, you're like I do, but if I don't?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Sign this.

TYRUS: Kind of.

TIMPF: That's not the same. That's not -- then you're not saying I do. I guess you're saying I do but like maybe it won't, so sign this and I keep my own (BLEEP), that's not as romantic to me.

GUTFELD: Exactly. I feel the same way. OK, up next there grinding beans for drama queens.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: His frappy was full of crappy. Starbucks employees are online venti-ing. I don't even know why I'm reading this. Their frustration at customers who demand absurdly complicated beverages. A barista's tweet showed a 13 ingredient monstrosity ordered by a customer named Edward which has obviously gone viral. We wouldn't have done this story. And other Java's slingers are feeling his pain. The elaborate concoction, call it call it a Special Ed contained extra cream, banana, caramel crunch, frappy chips, honey blended a complete lack of self-awareness.

They shouldn't give him a cup of shut-the-eff-up, if you know what I mean. Hopefully the customers behind Edward added a smack to the back of his head. That tweet inspired other Starbucks employees to share their most annoying drink requests from fussy temperature requirements in double digit extras to seek to secret off menu items approved by the Illuminati. Meanwhile, Dunkin Donuts recommended their coffee black with add-ons of a Red Sox hat and a Pall Mall. So, Emily, does posting these images violate the barista-patient confidentiality?

COMPAGNO: Not that I'm aware of. It doesn't seem so. I think it's a good way for them to vent-i. Get it? Get it?

TYRUS: Second time's not the charm.

GUTFELD: That's a terrible joke in the first place.

TYRUS: You know what, I'm talking about this on "OUTNUMBERED."

COMPAGNO: I'm proud of my favorite. But I thought the funniest thing was when everyone was piling on and just sort of like eviscerating everyone who does this on a daily basis. Like this is a Tiktok challenge or whatever it was. There was some lady in line that said like, it needs to be 37 degrees Celsius, not 36, not 38, because I will know. I mean, people are psychopaths.

GUTFELD: Yes. And you know, Senator, you know what bothers me about this, this is not coffee. This is a dessert. It's like having cake for breakfast. That's wrong -- that's immoral.

BLACKBURN: It's amazing. Eat dessert first. That's how to start your day. No, here's the thing. Tiktok. I'm not a fan of TikTok. And when you get out there and you are going in intentionally to see if you can get someone frustrated, you can get the video you can put it up, you can have your moment, then you have to say what is the true purpose of this?

GUTFELD: Yes.

BLACKBURN: And it is to make the baristas uncomfortable and to see if they're going to mess up with building this, this streak?

GUTFELD: I had no idea this was that interesting. Now, I'm totally against it, Kat.

BLACKBURN: So, they're not suffering from imposter syndrome. They're a real barista they can handle this.

GUTFELD: Right, right.

TIMPF: It's just gross. I mean, I read this whole -- look, like, aside from the fact that you're creating a major inconvenience for another person. All that you get in return is the reward of then, like barfing for the rest of the day. I read this order, it had: caramel drizzle, extra whipped cream, extra cinnamon dolce topping, seven pumps of dark caramel syrup, extra caramel crunch, honey blend syrup, frappe chips and heavy cream. Like who could survive that? Like that, that's, that's --

GUTFELD: What you said, frappe.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Oh, I said it wrong.

TIMPF: Frappe. Whatever. OK, that's not -- your right. It's not coffee, and if anything, it's like self-harm. You're not going to feel good.

GUTFELD: Yes, you know what I mean, Tyrus is this the official beverage of white privilege?

TYRUS: Oh, no, it's the official beverage of fat privileges. They should call that fat-tacular. That's disgusting. You know what they should do, like what Starbucks does to me a lot of times, they just say, we don't have it.

GUTFELD: It's real when you ask where the bathroom.

TYRUS: Yes, well, I never go in. I'm a drive-thru guy. But literally, they know my order. Every time I pull up. They can spit it out: Irish cold brew, extra shot, egg bite. Tyrus, I mean, they -- that's how quick I am. There's nothing -- you get in you get out. You don't, you don't fantasize. And I mean this, like I said, just wow. You know that, after he gets that he should just drive down to the clinic and get tested for type two diabetes. I mean, this dude, this is just fat-tacular.

TIMPF: Your entrails will never be the same.

TYRUS: Yes. I mean --

GUTFELD: There are more ingredients in it than like a salad. Like, I understand like the salad thing.

TYRUS: He probably doesn't tip either.

GUTFELD: Yes, he probably doesn't. But the thing is, now I'm thinking this is just a prank that they pull on people. That's all it is. So, this is just something to make the baristas life hell, which makes me very angry because these are hard workers.

TIMPF: Murderer.

GUTFELD: Murderer. They're murderers. They have imposter syndrome. All right, I'm done. Stay with us. Be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Before we go time for this.

ANNOUNCER: "GREG SEES THE STAR."

GUTFELD: So, I was doing something I almost never do, which is watch "Morning Joe" on MSNBC and it was weird. It seemed like Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski doesn't seem like they're getting along these days. Take a look. It was just, just an ugly, ugly. Like he -- I mean, he just seemed very, very, very angry. I don't know. And it was weird. It was subtitled in Russian. I think, I don't know what they're saying. Look at that.

Very overprotective this little guy. Look at that. Oh my goodness. Sounds like we need an exorcism. All right. Set your DVRs every night so you never miss an episode. Thanks to Senator Marsha Blackburn, Emily Compagno, Kat, Tyrus, our studio audience. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with Shannon Bream is next. I'm Greg Gutfeld. I love you, America.

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