Updated

This is a rush transcript from "Gutfeld!," December 1, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Happy Wednesday, everyone. Whereas the Cuomos call it hump day. Too easy, I don't care. So how was CNN covering the Chris Cuomo scandal now? He was once their big star. But now how did they feel?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Honestly, I never liked that dude to begin with.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Because Hamptons parties this summer not even that good.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes. The caviar was very subpar.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I can't believe he made me stay in the guest house.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I can't believe we had to play pool volleyball in a non- heated pool.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I had to wash my own face.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, I mean, we're still going back next year though, right?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, yes, definitely.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Oh. All right. Nicely done. On Tuesday, Anderson Cooper did address the suspension. But look who was with him on set as he did it.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN ANCHOR: Jeff Toobin, John Dean. Appreciate it. Some news now about this network and it involves Chris Cuomo, the host of "CUOMO PRIME TIME."

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That's awkward. Having Toobin there, as you discuss, Chris, it's a weird message you're sending that at CNN you can't defend a prick. But it's alright to throttle one in public. Thank you, Emily. It also shows you how shallow the talent pool is at CNN, but I guess Anthony Weiner was busy. Winner. Meanwhile, on his radio show, Chris Cuomo figured out who to blame.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CUOMO: You can fight against the other party, and you can fight against the media, but only if you have your party. He had the Republicans hating him. The media never really liked him.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: So wait, the media never liked his brother. Are you -- are you sure about that?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BRIAN STELTER, CNN ANCHOR: How would you contrast Cuomo and President Trump's handling of the crisis?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Truth versus mendacity?

NICOLLE WALLACE, MSNBC HOST: My governor, Governor Cuomo, I think is one of the heroes on the frontlines.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Even lifelong Republicans tell me they look at Cuomo and they're like, God, there's a leader.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You see spectacular political leader emerging from this in Andrew Cuomo.

STELTER: Carl, what was the most important message you heard from Governor Cuomo?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Real leadership.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes. I guess the media never liked him. And what better way to show their dislike for someone then by awarding them an Emmy. Following that logic, I better start building a trophy case tonight because I hate my guts. But as Chris is being dragged, we're missing the big picture. And I don't mean a photo of Brian Stelter's ass, strology sign. Chris is in trouble for supporting his brother. So he's a terrible journalist, but a hell of a brother.

But what's the media's excuse for doing the same thing? Hate him or not? Chris would any family member would do and broke whatever journalistic law CNN still observes in the process. Fire him, I guess. But if CNN fired everyone for violating basic journalism, their newsroom would be emptier than your medicine cabinet after Kat visits you. Anyway, if anything were to happen to a sibling or a child and your family, jerk or not, you probably do everything possible to help them out.

Except maybe Jesse Watters' family. Kidnappers could mail them one of Jesse's fingers and they'd be like, hey, he's got nine more. But if I ever get busted for something, and my sisters don't help me bury the bodies, they are out of the will. Their loss is Cars for Kids gain. Seriously, what's the point of having relatives if they're going to rat you out about the body under all that venison you have in the freezer?

That's why Joe let Hunter run all those bribery schemes that and the 10 percent. So I get Chris, but the media, they don't have that excuse. They anointed his brother, the next president because they liked his press conferences. They're so easy to fool that Jussie Smollett wishes they were his jury. The media love the governor, and they weren't related except by ideology. Now the same people who say now that he should be fired, we're right there fawning over his brother as nursing home patients bodies were stacking up like sandbags, along a swollen riverbank.

They cared more about anti-sex life than investigating the nursing home calamity that was right in front of them. And it took sexual harassment to pique their curiosity. I get it. Sexual harassment is bad. If anyone's butt is getting slapped, it's my own. And I pay consenting adults dearly for that service. But it is interesting how the media prioritizes and how they happily disowned the very people they have protected for so long when it suits them.

But for a while they were on Team Cuomo. Apparently top aides had been working the press to convince them to support the governor. And they did. In one case, Cuomo aides reached out to schmooze a writer for The Atlantic, who then quickly wrote a piece entitled, Of Course Andrew Cuomo Isn't Going To Resign. Well, that aged as well as Macaulay Culkin. Yes. Like you.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I must say that's insulting to me.

GUTFELD: Lis Smith, an advisor to Andrew Cuomo revealed that she texted with MSNBC Anchor Katy Tur during the scandal and claimed that the host repeated her spin on air. MSNBC, the same place that still employs a racist homophobe whose name rhymes with Joy Reid. But I guess if everyone goes after Chris, the creep doing the Louis Farrakhan impression every night sneaks under the radar.

And then there CNN itself. They've unloaded fake news like it was free government cheese. James Clapper, it gets caught lying to Congress about intelligence. Then CNN hires him to analyze intelligence. The Russian collusion lie undermined every institution for years. Their attacks on police led to the defunding of cops contributing to violence that destroyed cities. They covered Florida when their COVID numbers spike, now that the lowest in America, they're quieter than Matt Lauer's work phone.

They targeted Trumpers while coddling rioters. No wonder their rating suck. Their numbers get any lower, they'll have trouble paying Nick Sandmann. And now they cover Chris as though they were on top of this all along.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

STELTER: It was known that Chris Cuomo was talking to his brother giving political advice. But in the newly released documents, you can see that Chris Cuomo is essentially working as an unpaid advisor and aid as if he is a staffer of the governor's, giving political advice or giving commentary, also working his own sources to try to find out more about what might be revealed about his brother.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Nice work, poppin fresh. He reports those facts if they weren't pretending that the problem didn't exist for months. They hid this story until they could hide it no longer. And yet Chris Cuomo is a problem but he's not the whole problem. You know, part of the tumor has been removed but some of it is still there and it's still growing even as it expels one of its own. That's because the corporate press will do what's good for the corporate press. And when -- and when one of their own goes down they're just happy that it's not them.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. He's so anti woke, he sleepwealks 24/7. Author and philosopher, Peter Boghossian. Later this former cheerleader returned this (INAUDIBLE) human pyramid, "OUTNUMBERED" co-host Emily Compagno. He's been behind more enemy lines than Jane Fonda, former CIA operative and host of black files declassified on Discovery (INAUDIBLE) Channel, Mike Baker.

And she's like a raccoon, big eye, active at night and eat out of my trashcan. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf. All right. I've heard from everybody about this except for you, Peter. This is the first time we've actually met.

PETER BOGHOSSIAN, AUTHOR AND PHILOSOPHER: First time, first time.

GUTFELD: Yes. I'm a big fan of yours.

BOGHOSSIAN: Thank you.

GUTFELD: And I hope you're a big fan of mine. Don't have to say it. But we understand. Does CNN have any credibility left at this point?

BOGHOSSIAN: It depends -- it depends what you think if Cuomo should be held to any kind of journalistic integrity or journalistic standards given that it's not really a journalistic outlet. It's a propaganda machine. So it is a little bit unfair to hold him to a different -- but it is though.

GUTFELD: Yes. It's true.

BOGHOSSIAN: It is fair to hold him to a journalistic standard when the whole point is to propagandize.

GUTFELD: Right.

BOGHOSSIAN: But the other thing is, I do think we need to give credit for the -- for the fact that he was suspended.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BOGHOSSIAN: And I think it's really important in these conversations to -- when someone's across an aisle and ideological divide, you say if they do the right thing, you say they did the right thing.

GUTFELD: Right.

BOGHOSSIAN: And I think in this case, they did the right thing and he is entitled to due process. And if he's done something illegal, then he should be given his day in court.

GUTFELD: All right. So the producer, so we're going to need to edit that part out. The part where Peter says they did the right thing. Put in some kind of -- I know. Put in some kind of animals video. I think we have an animal video that we're (INAUDIBLE) right in there. Make sure that never happens.

BOGHOSSIAN: Oh, god.

GUTFELD: You're supposed to talk to these guests beforehand. Emily, how you doing? Everything OK?

EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS HOST: Yes.

GUTFELD: Oh, that's great. I'm so happy for you. And congratulations. I don't know. It's felt like saying congratulations. Where do you think this is going? Is he (INAUDIBLE) your lawyer? I think.

COMPAGNO: Well, the white claim, as you say. Look, to me, this is a (INAUDIBLE) situation. CNN comes out when they suspend him indefinitely with the statement that says, we now understand the extent of his involvement for these documents with his brother. Really because meanwhile back in May, Chris Cuomo said on air, he admitted that he broke the network's rules and advising his brother in public relations.

This network had -- I would say a pretty extreme transparency when in an op ed, the executive producer talked about how she was groped by him. The same action that his brother is being prosecuted for under his own laws here in New York State, forcible touching. He admitted so in an email to her and yet the network looked the other way. So that kind of culpability combined with his brother, that us as New York residents, we've already paid $9.5 million for his legal fees.

Chris Cuomo to me is just another fly in the ointment. But to your point, I mean, I think that's generous of you to want to extend him due process. I think at this point, we should just vigilante justice him.

GUTFELD: Wow.

COMPAGNO: Get him off the street.

GUTFELD: Wow. I like this kind of Emily Compagno.

BOGHOSSIAN: Yes.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes. Who knew?

MIKE BAKER, FORMER CIA OPERATIVE: Yes.

GUTFELD: You're looking great by the way.

BAKER: Thank you very much. As are you.

GUTFELD: Yes. Thank you. What are you doing later?

BAKER: Yes.

GUTFELD: It's been a while, you know, Mike.

(CROSSTALK)

BAKER: -- butt slapping. But I, you know, it's -- also by the way, Emily, I played drums in the 80s cover band called Forcibly Touching. So, I think Peter raises a really interesting point, not that stupid one about do right thing. The other one where we're conflating, the idea that journalism automatically equals objectivity, people have kind of forgotten that a lot of what they hear is legitimately just opinion pieces, right?

And it's -- and -- but when you're talking about journalism, objectivity, I don't think the 14 or 15 viewers that watched Chris Cuomo show actually care about, you know, journalistic integrity. That's not -- that doesn't play into sort of a hard liberal mindset, right? That's not what they're watching for. They're watching for red meat, right?

GUTFELD: Yes. I mean, everybody goes to their particular network to have their assumptions met and I will even say that sometimes it happens here, not with this show.

BAKER: Well, not here.

GUTFELD: Never. Never.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: But Peter, it's point two also, it's kind of interesting that CNN doesn't even bother to label what is commentary or what is fact. We do that. Like we know Tucker is -- we -- his commentary, we know that Bill Hemmer is news. We know that but they don't even bother with it.

BAKER: Well, that's where the -- that's where the line has been blurred. People get confused and -- I mean, look, there -- I do think the end result of all this is I think Cuomo is coming back. I mean, people are comparing it to the Jeffrey Toobin case. I think it's actually different strokes for different folks.

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: He's been leaning to say that all day.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I don't get it. I don't get it.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: He furiously masturbating.

BAKER: Yes, exactly. Yes, exactly.

GUTFELD: Right, right, right.

BAKER: Yes, yes, yes.

GUTFELD: Yes. Got it. Sometimes I'm a little slow.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: It's going to be interesting, Kat, like if he doesn't come back, that means both brothers are out of work. They should open up an Italian restaurant where they prefer, Fettuccino, Fettuccine Alfredo.

TIMPF: Oh.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I would say that since my friend texted to me.

BAKER: It's almost as good as my joke. Yes, yes.

GUTFELD: Kat? I don't know what to ask you.

TIMPF: It's OK.

GUTFELD: Answer the question that you would like me to ask.

TIMPF: I mean, look, there's been a lot about -- so -- he just -- he like - -

GUTFELD: What about Cuomo's excuse family?

TIMPF: OK. He like lied to the Attorney General, didn't he?

BAKER: Yes.

TIMPF: I wrote like about the journalism stuff. But he said to the Attorney General, I wasn't doing oppo research. Then what is -- I've got a lead on the wedding girl.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: What is that if not oppo research. I just think that he's had so many scandals. This -- I forgot about the forcible touching. And that shouldn't be something that I forgot about because that is a bad thing to do.

GUTFELD: Yes. And it's a bad thing to forget about.

TIMPF: Yes. I'm the problem.

GUTFELD: You are the problem.

COMPAGNO: He comes back. It's like herpes. I mean, I really (INAUDIBLE) we're just rewarding these guys. Seriously. Can you imagine their Christmas dinner this year? Both of them out of work?

TIMPF: They've been hanging out every night.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

BAKER: It's not enough women to take care of this problem.

(CROSSTALK)

BAKER: Tell me about it.

GUTFELD: Anyway, I think we learned nothing. Up next. He got canned for mixing up names. But was racism to blame?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: All right. He was one super woke, but soon could be broke. Because he mixed up their names. His job ended in flames. A professor at Fordham University, aren't they all? Has been fired after confusing the names of two black students in class. According to The Observer, the school newspaper, not me outside your window at night, Emily. Here's how it went down. After Professor Christopher Trogan mixed up the two students' names, they e-mailed him saying they felt disrespected.

Believing the mix up happened because of their race. In response, he sent an e-mail to the entire class. It's stupid. And then he assured students his class was "Centered specifically and explicitly around issues of justice, equality and inclusion." And that he devoted his entire life to such issues. He also invited students to report him to his superiors if they felt discriminated against. Damn, why not just hand your execution or the X?

So despite waving his wokester credentials, he got fired. He didn't remember the first rule of canceled culture. Blood attracts mindless zombies. His official termination later stated he hadn't -- he had not demonstrated proper development.

BAKER: Right.

GUTFELD: That's what my doctor told me at 15. Then again at 27. And then it was clear I would develop no further. The lesson, beware all you will professors out there, or this could be you.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Professor, thanks for coming in. As your dean, I just wanted to check in and see how things were going in your math class this semester.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, my gosh, so great. My students are really learning the fundamentals of mathematics, genocide, gender pronouns, and racial representation in Hallmark Channel Christmas movies.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Right. OK. So are they learning any actual math?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, yes, yes. I teach math. M-A-T-H. Men are the horrendous oppressors of society.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: How incredibly woke of you.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, my God. Thank you.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: OK. Well, we have to let you go.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh wait, wait. I thought this was a check in.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes. Well, it turns out all your students are failing actual math.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Ah, well, and so I'll have more time for my rap group. The algebrose.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I don't care. Get out

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: (BLEEP)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Kat, I love this story. It makes me happy. Why? Why does it make me happy that this woke professors got eaten alive by the wokesters. Why?

TIMPF: Because the woke professor got eaten alive by the wokesters. Because he clearly thought he was better than you or any of us because he centered his classroom on inclusion and diversity, whatever that even means.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: And, look, he should have just been honest. They just said, I didn't know your names. It's not because I'm racist. It's because I was not listening.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Right?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Which is fine. I think that not -- people always talk about being a better listener. It's like, OK, you'll be better at talking. Seriously.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: But you know obviously, when you -- if you're one of these people who's being performatively woke because you think it's going to save you, it's obviously not, so just be honest.

GUTFELD: Peter, you're the expert at this stuff. So we're watching -- I mean, we -- I'm sure you could have -- you've seen this. It's the Frankenstein monster that is turning on the doctor.

BOGHOSSIAN: Yes. With a woke, give us the woke take at the way.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

BOGHOSSIAN: So, here's a guy. So I don't think that's the case. I think that the mindset that the woker in is that racism is the ordinary everyday state of affairs. And it's not whether or not racism took place, because we know racism took place, but it's how it took place. And so his whole life was devoted to social justice, his whole life was devoted to diversity and inclusion. But this is always the case. It's always the case that nobody complains about it until they come for them.

GUTFELD: Right.

BOGHOSSIAN: And then everybody goes berserk and freaks out about it. So we all know that there's a problem right now. And just as this person -- I don't know if he was an architect of this, or he's a proponent of this. But I think we need to stand by basic liberal principles and values and stand up to the people who want to cancel this guy. Even though he himself participated to create this culture.

GUTFELD: Right. It goes back to the idea of sharing the risk with people who would not do it -- would not share the risk with you.

BOGHOSSIAN: Correct.

GUTFELD: They would love to see you go down in flames.

BOGHOSSIAN: Right.

GUTFELD: But you're going to say I will be there for you. And maybe one day you might change, although they probably won't, Emily. I bet you read this story and have some interesting points.

COMPAGNO: First of all, everyone confuses me with Rachel Campos-Duffy. Lliterally, everyone calls me Rachel. I answer to Rachel and I don't care. Who cares? I answered anything, whatever.

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: -- call you Rachel?

COMPAGNO: All the time. Totally fine. Who cares? I think everybody sucks in the story. Because here's the thing. So he lists his credentials. He says, I've devoted my life to everything. But as you said, they -- the powers that be -- the decision makers said, well, it's still not enough. And then the students said, well, by listing it all and telling us about your commitment, then you have a white savior complex, and that makes us uncomfortable.

GUTFELD: I love that part.

COMPAGNO: Yes. So the whole point is, it's always going to be never enough. And it's always also going to be too much or performance.

BOGHOSSIAN: Right. And the secret there that people don't understand is the further you are in the left the more you open yourself up to these things. You're precancelable, you can't be canceled because they don't watch you anyway.

GUTFELD: Oh, watch me. I know it's true. It's true. It's like they do what -- they do the watch Snippets that are pulled out and -- but then -- but it's like nobody --

BOGHOSSIAN: But they don't savage you like they savage their own.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

BOGHOSSIAN: It's the Greek snake, the Ouroboros that eats its own tail.

(CROSSTALK)

BAKER: Damn it, I was going to reference Ouroboros --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: But you are good at eating your own tail?

BAKER: Oh, yes. I pay responsible adults.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BAKER: Now, look, this -- the great part about this story is it does prove that you're never pure enough for the mob.

BOGHOSSIAN: Right.

GUTFELD: Right.

BAKER: It's never going to happen and they're always going to come for you, no matter who you are and where you are on the spectrum. But I do like the fact that, you know, it was a simple case of mixing up a couple of names. It's an adjunct professor who has very little FaceTime with students anyway. It gets a couple of names wrong. I got three kids, right? Scooter, Sluggo and Muggsy who I see all the time in my house .

And I start, if I want to talk to Muggsy, I start with Scooter then I go, Sluggo, no, Muggsy, I would have been fired ages ago, right? Because I can't keep their name straight. This poor guy. But you're right. There's no -- really, there's no winner in this. But I think it's a good lesson for everybody to understand.

GUTFELD: We're the winners.

BAKER: Yes. Well, yes.

GUTFELD: I got a great segment out of this.

BAKER: We're all -- they're all coming around for us at some point, right? This (INAUDIBLE)

GUTFELD: The whole goal is to be -- is to be canceled proof, not everybody's going to have F.U. money like Chappelle, right? You have to be -- you have to be like we talked to in the greenroom about gad sad or any - - people that when they stand up to it, it gives everybody else the ball.

BOGHOSSIAN: Exactly.

GUTFELD: People start looking at him.

BOGHOSSIAN: Courage. And the mistake that he made is you should never apologize to the mob.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BAKER: Oh, the one -- the instant you apologize they become even more relentless.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. They smell the blood.

BAKER: No. That's exactly right. That's what -- that's what it is. I was going to say also this happens in -- we see this in government. It's not just sort of an academic, so it's not in the commercial world. It's also in government. We're seeing the same -- the same problem where, you know, it doesn't take much and all of a sudden you got a -- you got the -- a younger generation rising up and they -- just for insensitivity.

GUTFELD: As a -- as a -- in the CIA and you were murdering people indiscriminately, it must be hard because you have to do -- now you have to do with pronouns before you murder them.

BAKER: Yes.

GUTFELD: Right?

BAKER: Well, no, the murdering indiscriminately, that was easy part. Yes. No, you're kidding. What camera should I look into? I'm kidding.

GUTFELD: All right.

BAKER: Yes. It's a joke,

GUTFELD: Is it though. Is it really?

BAKER: Yes.

GUTFELD: We'll be right back. Up next. Bill Nye's name and stupid videos are his gains.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: He claims he's scientific but this video is horrific. He's the washed up 90s nerd who just dropped a propaganda turd. Terrible, Emily. Bill Nye the Science-whatever created a TikTok video promoting Biden's infrastructure plan Build Back Better. Other than schools it's the best place to indoctrinate tweens, and boy does it suck?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BILL NYE, THE SCIENCE GUY: Please, consider the following: if you're like me, you want the U.S. to be a bit (INAUDIBLE), and for that we have two bills and I'm not either one of them. I mean I'm a Bill, I'm not an infrastructure bill. You've heard about that. The House of Representatives passed that recently. That's for our roads, our power lines, our water pipes to upgrade them in improvement so that we can have a better infrastructure.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Interesting, it gets better -- I'm lying.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

NYE: So that we can, working together, build back better.

JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: He's using my lines here.

NYE: I really am a believer in this. You know, I'm old enough to remember when the U.S. was the leader in innovation.

BIDEN: That's where we're driving that bill.

NYE: Driving, yes, we love driving.

BIDEN: Yes, we do.

NYE: And electric cars are the future; they're clean, they're efficient, they're quiet.

BIDEN: We're going to build 500,000 charging stations, and we want to electrify our ground transportation so we don't have this carbon in the atmosphere.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I don't -- I'm not even sure they were together. Their chemistry were any more electric, poor people couldn't afford it this year. More cringe worthy then the time I walked in on Kilmeade's pedicure. Yes, eight toes per foot. We pretty much showed you the whole clip. So, I'll finish it.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

NYE: I say all the time, Article One, Section Eight, Clause Eight, the progress of science and useful arts. It's in the Constitution. Come on, everybody. What's not the love? We're just trying to change the world here, people.

BIDEN: We're going to change the world.

NYE: Infrastructure is cool. Isn't that what we do nowadays?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: So, naturally, people on Twitter ripping the video apart, missing the bigger point that at least they weren't naked. I kid, but my point is things can always be worse. Originally, they had Seth Rogen do the video, and I think we have tape.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You done? OK. Wow. Whoa.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: So, Mikey, is it accurate to call this propaganda? Or is it -- I mean, he's trying to get people to be OK with spending trillions on stuff?

MIKE BAKER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes.

GUTFELD: He's working for the government.

BAKER: It's not -- I mean, you could I suppose it's the worst piece of propaganda I've ever seen.

GUTFELD: And you work for the CIA.

BAKER: And I worked at the CIA. So --

GUTFELD: You got us all hooked on crack in the 90s.

BAKER: Well, it was that, there was MK-Ultra there was. No, we didn't do the crack thing, by the way.

GUTFELD: I know, I know.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: He didn't do the crack thing.

BAKER: We didn't do the crack thing. So, yes, that's -- no, it is, it's, it's so bad that I guess what happened was they probably didn't mean for it to be bad, and they looked at the first cut. And they realized the only way we can do this is by making it really cringe-worthy, because then he'll get talked about as we're doing right now. I think it was delivered after that first rough cut when they realized they got nothing here. Let's just make it as awful as possible.

TIMPF: Really, you think they're actually really, really cool.

BAKER: Yes.

TIMPF: They purposely decided --

BAKER: Oh, I don't think so. I don't think so. I think their marketing team or their messaging team made the only decision they could at a certain point and so we got to just, we got to make this thing so crappy that people will talk about --

GUTFELD: I get, I get it a lot of people, like I'm a lot taller than people think but I the way I sit, I try to appear shorter.

BAKER: Right.

GUTFELD: Just to make people feel more at ease around me. Ha-ha, look at the short guy. They don't know. They don't know, Emily. You were a 90s kid, weren't you?

EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I was an 80s kid.

GUTFELD: Oh, really? So, you're in your 60s now?

COMPAGNO: I was born in the 70s.

GUTFELD: Really, wow, good for you. And you still get around?

COMPAGNO: I do.

GUTFELD: Do you still get her on the Life Alert, OK, yes, I got you. Do you like Bill Nye?

COMPAGNO: No.

GUTFELD: You care?

COMPAGNO: No, you guys, that was agonizing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: That was watching to geriatric husbands who both peaked decades ago, that was like Cocoon 5.

BAKER: To be fair, to be fair, one of them has (INAUDIBLE) as a president.

COMPAGNO: So, my tax dollars paid for that? Absolutely not. I found that despicable. Honestly, the only thing worse, more cringe-worthy than that agonizing theater was maybe our Vice President pay in fake kids and a Canadian company to talk about space that take the whole thing too. Like, I can't decide which is worse, those two quick keepers or her laugh on that big space video. Either way, our tax dollars paid for it. I'm not here for it.

GUTFELD: Peter, are we bit -- are we being too harsh?

PETER BOGHOSSIAN, PHILOSOPHER AND AUTHOR: I really think you are. I really do. But I don't think you're being too harsh about the vice president hiring child actress that was just a growth task. But yes, I think you're being too hard on this. He actually -- I think, I know Bill, he believes it. No, no, he believes it. He's sincere. I don't -- I honestly don't understand what the problem is.

GUTFELD: No, that's OK.

TIMPF: Wasting our time.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Again, we're going to have to edit that out, Peter. We're going to have to edit that whole segment.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Just repeat after me, Peter. This is the most atrocious piece of video I've ever seen.

BOGHOSSIAN: You might not like the way that it was presented or the style, you may think it's cringe-worthy, but it's not unethical.

GUTFELD: No.

COMPAGNO: It's just annoying. I don't want my tax dollars to pay for this crap.

BOGHOSSIAN: OK, but he's trying to put on a message that he believes in and he's trying to do it in a way that he, that he believes is hip. I don't see what the problem with that is?

GUTFELD: Let's go to our expert in, in things that --

BAKER: You do realize that, Peter will be cut out of the entire show.

GUTFELD: Joe looked like a hologram. Was -- I was more worried about him making it through the, the video. What are your thoughts?

TIMPF: My thought -- I mean, like, like, no, it was not cool. No, it's like infrastructure is not cool. It just is. So, ridiculously (INAUDIBLE) cool. I know it's not cool, and I work at, on cable news. So, like, I'm not really cool.

GUTFELD: How dare you?

TIMPF: Oh, you think I'm cool. That's when -- he just sort of accidentally called me cool, that's the nicest thing you've ever done to me. Thank you.

GUTFELD: She deserves no applause.

TIMPF: I don't think, I don't think tax dollars should be spent on anything because --

GUTFELD: Me too.

TIMPF: I also agree with you but also, I don't think they should be spent on like anything, because they shouldn't exist. But yes, it was annoying. It was super annoying. But you know, if they had fun, then you know, I'm glad for them.

GUTFELD: Yes, you know, I -- you know, let's be honest, it was a slow news day. And you know, you always try to look for some funny video. That's all it was.

BAKER: No, I don't think -- nobody's saying it's unethical.

GUTFELD: But it's the worst thing I've ever seen. I think it's an impeachable offense, Peter.

COMPAGNO: Vigilante justice.

GUTFELD: All right, coming up, is self-quarantine imperative, even if you're negative?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Your freedom gets rejected even with proof you're not infected. And while the government won't follow the science, they still demand compliance. As the media continues to drum up panic over the Omicron variant, the White House is set to announce a stricter COVID strategy for travelers entering the U.S. including consideration for requiring a week- long self-quarantine, even if you test negative. So, this policy could make you quarantine without COVID. It's an idea that's testing positive for being totally up.

The new policy will apply to all foreign travelers as well as returning U.S. citizens regardless of their vax status. So far, the Biden administration has not indicated that the new strident policy will apply to illegals crossing the southern border. They'll have to ask Kamala the next time she emerges from hiding. But honestly, migrants are showed more compassion than our own citizens. It feels lousy. It's like the government is Bill Clinton, the immigrants are any other woman and we're Hillary. No wonder she's angry. But it's important to put Omicron into perspective. The doctor who discovered it said, no one in South Africa is known to have been hospitalized with the Omicron variant nor is anyone here believe to a fallen seriously ill from it. For more on the ground reporting, let's go to our newest Correspondent Mike, The Baby. Mike, what's the latest?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You just catch a worm? Oh my gosh, it's a worm, do not put that in your mouth.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That's brilliant.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No, no, no --

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Somebody is calling Child Services. Is that what it's called? Child Service -- Emily.

COMPAGNO: Child Protective Services.

GUTFELD: Child Protective -- thank you very much. I'm choke. They're not going to do self-quarantining if you test negative. That's insane. It's insane.

COMPAGNO: I mean, look, in any other administration, I might say, oh, of course not. In this, I think what we've seen is attempts to do the insane. I think that the questions for practicality in addition to hypocrisy center around enforcement. But the fact that we know that the CDC has now requested the TSA provide the names of all passengers that have traveled internationally, this is how it starts. And to your point, the ongoing conversation we've been having is that the way they get away with it, is what people not questioning it. But right now, the courts have been, you know, pushing them back, that's the only one pushing them back. We need more of the media to get on board. We need more of the citizens to get on board because this kind of stuff -- I mean, this is, the, the camel nose in the tent, but absolutely if they can, they will try to do it.

GUTFELD: The camel nose in the tent --

COMPAGNO: Is that the right phrase?

GUTFELD: I think it is. I think it is. Yes --

BAKER: Better than the --

GUTFELD: Mikey, it's hump day. It's amazing.

COMPAGNO: Yes, I do that purposely.

GUTFELD: Peter, are we kind of being held captive by people who believe that risk has to be zero? It's like, we -- at a certain point we have to accept that we can't, we can't, we can't eliminate all risk. We've got to get on with our lives.

BOGHOSSIAN: You can't eliminate but, but with this comment, I guess I'll cement the fact that I'll never come on the show again. It's my understanding -- I'm not, I don't have -- no, no medical expertise whatsoever, but it's my understanding that there's an incubation period after you take the test.

GUTFELD: Yes, like two weeks or something?

BOGHOSSIAN: So, so what's the problem with the, with the quarantine?

GUTFELD: I don't like it, Peter.

BOGHOSSIAN: No, but I mean, and everybody's pissed -- I'm really serious, though, but what's the, what's the problem?

COMPAGNO: To me, I see it as like exploding the mosquito with one of, you know, a nuclear bomb. When you're talking about the risk versus the cost benefit analysis. You don't need to take that restrictive of a measure for this incubative of mild variant.

GUTFELD: Also, also when is incubating -- we don't know it's transmissible.

BOGHOSSIAN: Well, that's the thing: we don't know, and what are the 330 million people United States and 800 -- and over 800,000 people that have died.

TIMPF: That science that discovered it, we literally just punish their entire country. Like, why did we do that -- it was discovered by South African scientists, so they banned people from South Africa and surrounding countries. How is that a way to thank them?

GUTFELD: Where are we going to get our movie villains?

TIMPF: It was in other countries. It was in other countries already, we know that, and then we find out this week that it was, you know, you know, Dutch scientists are saying it was here first, we're still banning African people, why?

GUTFELD: I know.

TIMPF: Scientists are never going to tell us anything. You ever tell somebody something and they like judge you and you're like, I'm never going to tell that person anything again. And you, you that's not even someone banning you from a country --

GUTFELD: I know.

BAKER: And then they do also think now that cases of this Omicron showed up and you're a priority --

TIMPF: Exactly.

BAKER: -- being in South Africa. But look, I've traveled throughout the pandemic. I've been traveling extensively and certainly over the past five months, because Greg as you know, I've been filming the second season of "Black Ops: Classified." Thank you very much. Coming soon on Discovery Network, I guess I could say that, can I?

GUTFELD: You already did --

BAKER: And so, but, but the point is, I've been to several countries where they do the quarantine, the self-quarantine. So, you arrive and you're supposed to -- one country was 14 days, one country was seven days, and you supposed to do this. Now, I will say that my observation was most people paid no attention whatsoever to the self-quarantine, they arrived back in country and you know, they were often doing their own business and not staying at home or staying in a hotel. So, I'm not sure about the effectiveness of it. And then that question is OK, well, if you're going to enforce it now, what does that bring into play?

BOGHOSSIAN: So, the question is we want to minimize it and what's reasonable?

GUTFELD: Yes, right. So, we are promised a return to normalcy, but it is entirely possible that will never happen if we continue this path of like, (BLEEP) we got to do this again. We got -- I know they're, they're telling me to move on. All right, up next, could your cousin be in a fog for drinking too much nog?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Will your aunt's inebriation ruin your Christmas celebration? Two in three Americans -- that's 80 percent, Kat, claimed to have one family member who always gets too drunk at their holiday gatherings according to a new poll conducted on behalf of something called Ritual Zero Proof, which makes non-alcoholic spirits. Yes, non-alcoholic spirits. That sounds like an A.A. meeting at a haunted house, am I right?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You're right, Greg, quite a clever ploy on words. Have you lost weight?

GUTFELD: Why, thanks God. And yes, thank you for noticing, I'm glad he watches.

Anyway, it was a terrible joke. 58 percent said that their entire family drinks too much at their get-togethers and it's also tough to get those children to like the taste of beer. 54 percent of respondents saying that they know someone is definitely going to have to wind up apologizing the morning after. For more, we go to a woman whose family says they are sick of having to pick her up from jail every December 26th for the things she does during her Christmas Day blackouts.

COMPAGNO: Erroneous.

GUTFELD: How much do you drink on Christmas?

COMPAGNO: I object. As, as much as I like.

GUTFELD: You're, you're, you're a lush. You're a lush. You're an embarrassing lush.

What happened to the sleeves of your shirt? You were drunk and you lost them.

COMPAGNO: I gave them to a homeless person.

GUTFELD: Ah, that's great.

COMPAGNO: What made me laugh about this poll is the fact that almost half of the people surveyed said that the greatest faux pas their family's holiday parties were people leaving early and the second one was yelling.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: And then the third one was drinking too much. And what I also found interesting was when they said to talk about your most embarrassing moments, they said like the common, the most common thing was people throwing up everywhere on each other on the table, whatever.

GUTFELD: Choking. Old people choking.

COMPAGNO: And it reminded me of a wedding I went to in law school where I had too much drink accidentally and threw up in front of my dean, who happened to be a priest.

GUTFELD: Oh, fantastic.

BOGHOSSIAN: Accidentally.

COMPAGNO: Not my finest moment.

GUTFELD: Yes, but quite a confession. Peter, I believe that the drunk at the holidays is the hero of the holidays, providing entertainment for everyone. And he hates the holidays, so he has to drink.

BOGHOSSIAN: Yes, at this point, you might need a designated speaker. So, particularly if you're a white male, and somebody comes to you and you'd say speak to him. No, I think a lot of the promise, how do you have those conversations without people freaking out? Or going through particularly if they're across divides?

GUTFELD: Yes.

BOGHOSSIAN: And my sincere advice, having literally researched this my whole life, and something that I've seen that we've lost in the last few years is that you can let friends be wrong.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BOGHOSSIAN: So, you and I can have, we can have substantive differences. And I know that we have substantive difference of opinion. But that doesn't stop us from going to the bar, that doesn't stop us from hanging out.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BOGHOSSIAN: In fact, that makes it only better our relationship and if you're only hanging around with people you agree with, you can find new friends.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Yes.

BOGHOSSIAN: So, let friends be wrong in the holiday season.

GUTFELD: Yes, Mike.

BAKER: Yes, yes. Well, here's what I think. I, I'm happy to follow up such actually a really sophisticated answer. And I one time got so hammered at a Halloween party, I insulted everybody. I had to spend the next day, the entire next day calling everybody at that party and apologizing.

GUTFELD: Wow.

COMPAGNO: Success.

GUTFELD: Was this recent.

BAKER: Not that recent.

GUTFELD: Kat, I would ask for an example but we'd be here all night.

TIMPF: Sorry, I'm fun.

GUTFELD: Actually, you hold, you hold your alcohol pretty well for a 40- pound.

TIMPF: I really do. Look, I don't trust this study.

GUTFELD: No.

TIMPF: I don't trust this company. I spent a lot of time on their Web site today. And they're like, we're not -- I'm like, what is that? They're like, it tastes just like booze but it's not booze and it gives you the same burn of booze. I'm like, who wants that? All the parts you don't want, who's like I just like it when I feel like I'm going to throw up for a little bit but I don't want to feel drunk, like these people I don't trust --

GUTFELD: Yes, it's like though -- the reason why you drink it is not because it tastes good, it's because (BLEEP) you up! And then, go hey, we got rid of the part (BLEEP), now it only just tastes bad, just tastes bad.

TIMPF: No, it tastes bad. I'm surprised it wasn't like, you'll still be hangover in the morning, but you won't be drunk at all.

GUTFELD: Exactly. That's a dumb idea.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Don't go away, we'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: All right we are out of time. Thank you, Peter Boghossian, see you soon. Emily Compagno, Mike Baker, Kat Timpf, our studio audience. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with evil Shannon Bream is next. I'm Greg Gutfeld and I love you, America.

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