This next debate, hosted by Chris Wallace, may be the most important debate since the last one.

The topics, are, in order: debt and entitlements; immigration; economy; Supreme Court; foreign hotspots; fitness to be president and man buns: are they worthy of the death penalty?

Anyway, let's pretend, that these topics matter. The U.S. just launched cruise missiles at radar sites in Yemen after attacks on a U.S. Navy destroyer. A Syrian migrant who planned to bomb a Berlin airport just killed himself in prison. Terror has now married itself to technology, as ISIS just used an armed drone that killed two Kurds and wounded French troops. And while Syria implodes, Russia mocks American retaliation over hacks.

This truly is a chaotic, unpredictable and grim time to be alive. It's like the 1300s, with less plague. America needs a strong, capable leader. Good luck.

And so, on Wednesday, we shall sit and listen to two choices out of 324 million, who must convince us they're the one to steer this country through a stormy, swirling muck. At this point, my only advice: Drink. And drink a lot. This election season is getting uglier than a bag of hairless cats, and messier than a Porta-John in a tornado.

But you can also ask yourself this: Which issue matters most to you and does it matter enough for you to accept every other horrible flaw that a candidate has?

I wish I had better advice, but I also wish we had better candidates.