Disabled dog gets second life inspiring others

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," February 27, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

JESSE WATTERS, HOST: Wrapping up Michael Cohen's testimony in front of the House Oversight Committee, the president's former lawyer there talking for hours today. We are going to take it around the table. First, we just want to apologize, some profanity was inadvertently aired as we took that live testimony. We regret that. Mr. Gutfeld, what did you think about today?

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: That wasn't me who did the profanity.

WATTERS: No, not this time.

GUTFELD: OK, good, good, good. Why did we endure the spectacle? For Two reasons: no collusion and North Korea. I know people here are acting like this is news. We need to believe that it's news because we are forced to cover this. I don't feel like this is news. I can't find the news. I believe this is an orgy for anti-Trump first. It's all due to the fact that the skunk at the garden party became president of the garden party. We have never recovered from Trump being president.

Cohen shows how easy it is to parrot platitudes. He just ran through every tweet ever done by Keith Olbermann. At the end of that thing, he knew when he said that Trump was a racist con man in chief, that he fulfilled the media mission as offering the perfect sound bite, the perfect lower third. Every network had that lower third. It had racist con man cheat.

They knew. Lanny Davis knew that if he met the media assumptions, this thing would be a major success, so he met the media assumptions. He went through the litany of everything the media feels about Trump without ever laying a hand on collusion, without ever putting any news out. We had to sit here the whole day and not talk about real news and talk about this crap. WATTERS: Clearly that final statement by Michael Cohen was written by Lanny Davis because it played all the hits. One of the most astonishing things he said was he fears that if Trump loses in 2020, there won't be a peaceful transfer of power, Dana Perino.

DANA PERINO, HOST: Right. I think that talking about civil war is a bit dangerous and a little bit ridiculous. In 19 -- if you look in our country's history, we did fight a civil war for a very good reason and we were at each other's throats in 1968. We are a polarized nation now but we are not about to go to civil war.

There was a peaceful transition of power. We've had that over and over again, that's why one of the greatest country in the world and the history. But I would say that also there are a couple of things in here that were news that people who support Trump should like.

Number one, Michael Cohen says under oath that he never went to Prague. That story, the McClatchy story that has been hanging out there. And I would say that if you are a Trump person, that and the fact that he said Donald Trump never told me to lie under oath, I would take --

GUTFELD: Those lower thirds --

PERINO: I don't care about the lower thirds.

GUTFELD: I do because that's what people at home see.


GUTFELD: People see the bullet points. We don't -- we don't look at those. Instead, you have other things.

PERINO: OK, but the lower third is not what you take to court. That's not what you use to refute the Mueller investigation.

GUTFELD: The court of public opinion.

PERINO: Do you -- what do you care about more if you're the --

GUTFELD: Unfortunately --

PERINO: Do you want this thing to get out or not? I mean, do you want this thing to be over with?

GUTFELD: I would --

PERINO: I think that they would like to get it over with.

WATTERS: Is that the first argument between Dana and Greg on “The Five”?


PERINO: No, it's not, and I'm going to keep talking so that I can win.


PERINO: Another thing about Cohen. So, Republicans are definitely trying to tarnish his reputation.


PERINO: And he does have a tarnished reputation. He has been a jerk for many years. And if he had not been caught, he would still be being a jerk today.

GUTFELD: I agree with you.

PERINO: Thank you. Back in agreement, brother and sister, back in agreement. If not for the Mueller investigation, turn things over the SDNY, the SDNY going to the raid, he would still be getting all those contracts from foreign governments.


PERINO: Remember, he called and said, if you need to talk to Trump, well, I can help you with that. He also said that he never wanted a job in the White House.


PERINO: I would imagine that people -- that there are reporters already today over at CNN, said that's not true. So, I think though at the end, if you are a Trump person, there's that. At the end, if you look at Elijah Cummings and that speech at the end that he saved up, that he used no notes to talk from, that was stirring and probably something that is good for everyone to have heard. If you only tuned in because you wanted to watch “The Five” and we are glad you stuck with us, if you heard that part, I think that was good.

WATTERS: That was a very powerful moment. But you also have to remember that the Democrats and Lanny Davis and Michael Cohen convened this hearing today on the very day that the president is doing a summit in Vietnam with Kim Jong-un. Coincidence, Juan, or -- what do you think?

JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: It's a coincidence in the sense that the Congress wanted to hear from Michael Cohen and especially wanted to hear from him in open session so that everything, you know, because there are so many rumors flying around. But what you have to also recall, Jesse, is that he was threatened last night. Matt Gaetz, the congressman, was threatening him about his family and extramarital affairs. We don't know if it's true or not.

The president also wrote tweets that were taken as a threat against Michael Cohen which is why he didn't testify earlier. So, that's why he's there today. But in general, I would say, you know what, for all of the static, remember that documents don't lie. What you saw today, a check with Donald Trump's EKG-like signature on, $35,000 as president of the United States for an illegal activity, a payoff to a porn star, That's a campaign finance violation on the face of it. So that's news. That's different.

I think also when you stop and think about collusion, oh, my gosh. Here we have someone who says that he was there in the room when Roger Stone is telling the president or then the candidate that they are in touch with Julian Assange and that there is a dump of e-mails on the Democrats coming soon.

WATTERS: All right --

WILLIAMS: Again, you have a direct tie between Trump and the Russians.

WATTERS: All right, let's take those two things right there, Juan, because I think -- I'm not sure you have your facts quite right about that. Roger Stone not working for the campaign calls the president and says, you know what, I think WikiLeaks is about to dump Clinton's e-mails. And you know what the president says? OK, good, that's great. They hang up the phone.

The thing about it though is everybody knew WikiLeaks was going to dump it because Assange tweeted that he was going to dump something against the Democrats a week before. So he knew exactly at the same time as everyone else there is no inside information. That's why Mueller --

WILLIAMS: Excuse me.

WATTERS: -- didn't charge him with anything. The second thing is he said Hillary's e-mails were going to get dumped. Wrong. It was the DNC. Juan, hold on, one more thing.


WATTERS: On the payoff, OK? It's not a campaign finance violation and here's why. It's a personal expenditure --


WATTERS: -- because Cohen testified that he's been paying these things to keep them out of the public for 10 years, would have done it regardless. And there is Cohen speaking to the press now. (BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

MICHAEL COHEN, FORMER LAWYER FOR PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: I am humbled. I am thankful to Chairman Cummings for giving me the opportunity today to tell my truth. And I hope that as Chairman Cummings said, it helps in order to heal America. And I thank you all again. Have a good day. UNIDENTIFIED MALE (voice-over): How involved was Donald Trump --



WATTERS: OK, only one thing to say. Dana, would you like to add something?

PERINO: I just want to add –

WILLIAMS: I want to finish up, too, you know.

PERINO: I want to add something to the point.

WILLIAMS: All right.

PERINO: When you guys were talking about the payments and whether it's a campaign finance violation or it's a personal expenditure. That is something that's at issue. That's the crux of it. One of the other things that if you are a Trump fan, what you might like about what Cohen said today is that he showed there is no pattern of it happening, right? So, it's like a one-time thing. He didn't want to embarrass Melania. So, I think that the fact that he did that --

WATTERS: With women. He said that with women. He said there were other times he made payments --


WATTERS: -- going back to 2007 --

PERINO: Right, but I think --

WATTERS: -- where he would pay things to go away.

PERINO: Right, but that's not a payment because it was an embarrassment. He was saying that it was a personal thing. He was trying to make sure and protect her from that story which means that it's not a pattern. If I were them, I would say that it's actually better for Trump.

WILLIAMS: How is it not a pattern if he's doing it consistently?

PERINO: Because he's not doing it just for the campaign.

WILLIAMS: Oh, but he was doing it at the time while running as president. But here is the thing --

GUTFELD: What about Morgan? Morgan has not spoken.

WILLIAMS: Are you guys ever going to let me finish?


GUTFELD: No, you are always finishing. There is somebody sitting here who hasn't said a damn word.

WILLIAMS: You are so deep in the bunker.

GUTFELD: Oh, shut up, Juan. I'm in nobody's bunker. I mean enough with your bunker. I am trying to be polite to somebody on the panel, Juan, which you won't do. Then let her speak.

WILLIAMS: Oh, my God.

ORTAGUS: So I think the question here today is did he come to heal America? Did he come to tell the truth? Is he a changed man? Then you have to believe that everything that he said before, there's a litany of things before Congress, under oath, media interviews, you either believe that version of Michael Cohen or you believe the one today? I found it to be far more political than I expected actually.

I mean first of all when you're in - when the President is in the middle of negotiating with North Korea about nuclear weapons which by the way, the real news today is that India and Pakistan, two nuclear armed states are threatening each other again.

I mean that is real news today that affects everybody. That's why the President is in North Korea dealing with excuse me, in Vietnam dealing with North Korea because of the seriousness of nuclear weapons. So I think because they've moved this three times, they could have moved it today.

It did need to happen today, that was very overtly political and I felt that you know most of what you said today for me, I didn't buy the contortion. I didn't buy the tears. I thought it was a very political testimony and so the big question is who does any of this matter to?

It matters primarily to Senate Republicans because the House is going to do what the House is going to do. They may over extend and impeach him but Senate Republicans are the ones who will determine if the House impeaches, what his fate is and there is nothing that he said today for me, that would lead any of the Senate Republicans to vote him out of office.

WATTERS: Do you disagree with that?

WILLIAMS: I don't mean. To me what's going on with Republicans is I don't know what it's going to take for Republicans to finally stand up and say you know, this is unacceptable. This kind of behavior. I mean if any other President was involved with this kind of activity, people would be saying--

WATTERS: What kind of activity?

WILLIAMS: Oh my gosh, the pay offs while you're in office to a porn star.

WATTERS: Personal expenditure.

WILLIAMS: How about working with the Russians in terms of Wikileaks, how about the Trump's son-?

WATTERS: He didn't work with the Russians. Did you listen to the testimony.

WILLIAMS: I did and that's why I'm saying when you have a situation here and I'm quoting here from Chris Christie, Trump's former friend who said, when he's looked at these hearings today what he saw was, Republicans are attacking Mr. Cohen. They never defend Donald Trump because they can't.

WATTERS: All right so if you guys are just joining us. Let's play some of the sound from today's hearings and we can react some more. Go ahead.


MICHAEL COHEN, DONALD TRUMP'S FORMER ATTORNEY: I'm ashamed because I know what Mr Trump is. He is a racist, he is a con man. And he is a cheat.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: How on earth is this witness credible? With all the lies and deception, the self-serving fraud, it begs the question. What is the majority party doing here?

COHEN: I wouldn't use the word colluding. Was there something odd about the back and forth praise with President Putin? Yes.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Mr. Cohen, you called Donald Trump a cheat in your opening testimony. What would you call yourself?

COHEN: A fool.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You're a pathological liar. You don't know truth from falsehood.

COHEN: Sir, I'm sorry, are you are you referring to me or the President?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, hey, this is my time.


WATTERS: All right, got a little testy there at the end, Greg. His credibility obviously, the main issue.

GUTFELD: But here's what he knows about the world. He knows that if you're a dirt bag, the best way to become an un-dirt bag is to turn yourself into a gratification machine for the media. You match their assumptions, that's your rehab. Your rehab isn't becoming a better person, your rehab is agreeing with the people who are in the media.

Now you also notice that when the Left has somebody up there that they want to hear, there's never any interruptions, there's no screaming, there's no infantile nuts with signs. When that's up there, it's clear - when he's up there it's clear. But when you put Aspel or a Kavanaugh or anybody out there the loony bin unloads.

So what does that tell you about tolerance and freedom of the speech from the left? When they have somebody up there to destroy the President, oh, they are so polite but if they have somebody up there who's actually trying to do a job, they'll destroy you. It's hypocrisy at its heights.

WILLIAMS: I'll tell you what hypocrisy is.


WILLIAMS: People who say, oh gee, you know, I believe Michael Cohen when he says, the President never paid any women to have abortions. You know what this thing about a love child? No, no. And you know money laundering, beating his wife in the elevator? Not true. Okay so I believe Michael Cohen on that.

But when he starts talking about Trump Junior coming into tell his dad about the Tower meeting with the--

GUTFELD: Who are you talking about? Juan, who are you talking about?

WILLIAMS: I'm talking about--

GUTFELD: Say the names.

WILLIAMS: This is funny to me by the way, you saw Chairman Cummings stop the hearings to protect a Republican against the charge of racism and behave in what I thought was the most ethical and clearly, a man of great decorum in that moment.

And you say, oh no, they only interrupt the Republicans. That's not true.

WATTERS: Juan, you have not said one thing that actually happened in the hearing. The Don Junior thing, he testified Michael Cohen today, "I have no direct evidence of any Russian collusion. You know what his only evidence was? Don Junior came into the office one time and whispered something into his dad's ear.

WILLIAMS: Correct, that's what he said.

WATTERS: That's what he thinks is the evidence of anything.

WILLIAMS: No, no, no.

WATTERS: He has no documentation, no corroboration, no witnesses of any Russian collusion, of any Trump tower advance knowledge, he had nothing Juan.

WILLIAMS: Oh I see, nothing about Roger Stone, nothing about the sun coming in just before the meeting.

WATTERS: Yes exactly, we just went through Russia's story.

WILLIAMS: That's ridiculous, but again you are so blind because you like Greg are deep in the bunker.

GUTFELD: You know, if you say that again I'm going to throw you off the set. No, because you know, because you know what the bunker means? What you're intimating is that who's in the bunker? Adolf Hitler, correct?

WILLIAMS: No, I wasn't.

GUTFELD: No, no, that's what you're saying. That is your—

WILLIAMS: You are so far off.

GUTFELD: No, when you say somebody's in the bunker. No Juan, what you're saying is, you choose the worst intent of people's words.


GUTFELD: Like when I say that I believe something, I'm in the bunker. When have I said that about you? I never say that about you.

WATTERS: We're not going to talk about the bunker anymore. We're going to get Morgan in here to talk about her thoughts about the hearing.

ORTAGUS: Yes so for me, one of the questions I was looking at coming in today is if you look at a historical presidents, would this be similar to John Dean? Of course the White House counsel who testified about a year before President Nixon resigned and that is the - I think that that is the example that you keep hearing.

You know, Democrats are very eager to get to, right? Like is this going to be Nix again? Is this going to be John Dean who gave very incredibly compelling testimony if you go back at that time and look at the tapes.

There was someone else you know, who also showed remorse, it was a part of the Nixon time. That was Chuck Colson and I think you could go back and see. He completely changed his life after that happened and went on a very you know a very Christian spiritual adventure.

I did not see John Dean today in powerful testimony. I did not see Chuck Colson a remorseful man who went on to leave an extraordinary Christian life today. For me, I still just come back to especially at the end, I saw a political stunt written by Clinton hacks.

WATTERS: Yes, again, no Russian collusion according to Michael Cohen and Juan, Roger Stone didn't have any advance notification about the Wikileaks dump, Dana.

PERINO: I think there's one person we haven't talked about here and she was not in the hearing and that's Speaker Pelosi. So she has tried to tap the brakes and tell her caucus like, we're not necessarily on an impeachment path here. She is wanting to tread very carefully on that.

In Elijah Cummings' wrap up statement, he took great offense to Republicans who said that this is the first hearing and that they're not doing anything else. That's not true. We talked about the high price of drugs, especially insulin and people that can't afford it and we talked about voting rights.

Those are two actually substantive issues. For Pelosi, they know that it's going to be incumbent upon them to show that they can govern and not just try to impeach the President. Because how did they went in the House of representatives? It wasn't because of the far Left, those seats were going to be Democratic anyway.

It's because they won in moderate districts and suburban districts where they actually want people to get things done and one of the most effective people today I thought was Katie Hill. She's a young woman from Southern California.

She used to work in the Obama administration. She is one of the freshman Democrats who's not got a lot of attention but she's like solid and moving forward. I think I were Pelosi, I would want to focus on those folks rather than the far Left because if they go down an impeachment path, it probably won't end well for them.

WATTERS: Yes and they have to wait for the Mueller report to come out first before they even try impeachment. All right, the Cohen hearing not the only major story we're following. Up next, President Trump's high stakes summit with Kim Jong-un.


GUTFELD: So what does the media do when faced with a potentially positive dramatic achievement involving Donald Trump. You find a smaller more embarrassing story and play it up big. Call it the split screen effect.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: For what's been a split screen kind of morning for him.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What's so interesting about today is the juxtaposition, it's literally and figuratively the split screen.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You have to say this is a classic Trump era split screen story.


GUTFELD: What lemmings. The split screen phenomenon overshadowing what's important to you with something important to the media. That means these slow awkward diplomatic process in Hanoi that's meant to enhance the survival of our country must now compete with the gossipy spectacle filled with old news.

And guess who wins? The spectacle. That's what the hearing was for. The media knows every time Trump goes overseas, he wins. So maybe they can distract you with this gratuitous drama and if there's good news from Hanoi, it's just to obscure the hearings.


DON LEMON, CNN HOST: He may try to distract. He may make a bad decision with Kim Jong-un.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: In anyway induces him to over reach, to basically hope that he can pull something off in Hanoi that will obscure the other story.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Does the President feel the need to come up with something spectacular out of this meeting? Something that he can tout as a historic agreement in order overshadow what we're going to here on Capitol Hill today.


GUTFELD: Sorry, isn't it more likely the reverse, that the hearings are meant to undermine the summit? Yes, I know even we took all of it, suckers. Anyway, I've never seen so many people rooting for failure and Tom Brady wasn't even playing.

But it might backfire by placing these two stories side by side, it may create the reverse of what the press wants. What's meant to undermine that damn Trump actually damns them. I mean, they're comparing a dramatic diplomatic effort that might end a 70-year war with a partisan tantrum or let's put the contrast, this way.

We can put an end to those false missile alerts that struck or in Hawaii but instead let's focus on slime ball theater which is protein powder for the consensus media. It's like comparing a cure for disease with an old Jackass re-run. Something historical with something hysterical. Never has something so big been compared to something so small.

Well, maybe not but it's close. All right, Juan for dinner, each major player Trump or Kim Jong-un gets to invite two guests. Trump invited Pompeo and that other guy, I can't remember. Who?

ORTAGUS: Mulvaney.

GUTFELD: Yes, but Juan, I think this was a slight to Dennis Rodman.

WILLIAMS: You're very right because he should have been there.

GUTFELD: No, he should have been there.

WILLIAMS: He could have dunked on him.


WILLIAMS: No, in fact, I think Dennis Rodman, we all have to bite our tongues because Dennis Rodman turns out you know, he was an important player in that historic, you go back in building relationships. I will say this, when I hear Chairman Cummings say that what happened on Capitol Hill today was important because history will record whether or not we at this moment stood tall in terms of defending democracy.

I don't think it's a small story and I don't think that just because these two guys had dinner, they haven't even started their hearings yet, that we should ignore what's going on here in this country that is of such magnitude and impacts the presidency of the United States.

So that's the way I feel about it. By the way, I don't know what the President has done overseas that amounts to so many wins. I know the first time he met with this guy, we didn't get much out of it.

GUTFELD: We've gotten a lot of things whenever he goes overseas, Morgan and he is pretty good with dignitaries. I think this is a bigger story than this story that we're covering.

ORTAGUS: Yes some people have the Super Bowl. I have North Korea summit week which makes me really excited. You know, I think the major thing and I think we talked about this but yesterday is the patience required in diplomacy. I don't think, maybe we'll have a big win coming out of this.

But I actually can see what's more likely is another summit maybe at the end of the year in 2020 because you have to understand from the perspective of the North Koreans, they are still at war with us. We don't. We've been through many other wars since then. We don't even, I think the average American doesn't really think about North Korea but the average North Korean and leadership thinks that the Americans are out to get them and are out to invade their country.

So that's the mindset of the person that's at the other side of the table. So I think, there's two things to look for as they negotiate over the evening our time is, is there a peace deal which would end you know officially in the war and what happens with sanctions?

The President has said that he is going to keep these economic sanctions on North Korea until there is a you know, a consensus on what denuclearization means but is there some sort of leniency on the sanctions so that the North and the South can do more economic partnership, more business deals together.

The South Koreans want that so those are the two things that I'm looking for that could that could come potentially out of the summit tomorrow.

GUTFELD: Dana, what are your thoughts? I noticed that you dressed in unison with Kim Jong-Un.

PERINO: Oh yes, put to use.


PERINO: Trying to help to get the story out there. I'd like to tell you this, I think that it actually the timing of all this is going to work out in President Trump's favour from a media perspective and this is why. This Michael Cohen hearing was going to happen before Michael Cohen has to go to jail and that is soon.


PERINO: In a couple weeks so this hearing was going to happen anyway. Today was just like the set up day and the dinner, there's not a lot of news. This hearing now is in the books. Tomorrow the entire day is dominated by whatever happens starting in a couple of hours with President Trump and Kim Jong-un and history is a long arc.


PERINO: And so no one's going to care about a 24-hour news cycle in the long run of history so I think leadership is doing the right thing, that you think is the best for the country and then explain it as best you can and letting the chips fall where they may.

GUTFELD: Jesse, I'd like to think if this were President Obama, I'd be rooting for him. Does it seem weird?

WATTERS: You would not.

GUTFELD: No, no, no. You would not. But you know what I mean but it's like I do sense, there's a lot of people rooting against world peace.

WATTERS: Yes. Yes, I think they are more threatened by Trump than they are of Kim.


WATTERS: They see comfortable in Kim's crosshairs. I do think to for the media to say, oh man, these split screens, they're the ones that make the split screens. Literally, it's their job to do that and they orchestrated the split screen by having Lanny bring Cohen on the same day as the summit.

PERINO: But they made a mistake, they should have done it tomorrow, they screwed up.

WATTERS: Well, they're not as smart as you are.

PERINO: Thank you.

WATTERS: And then they sit there and they ponder, is Trump going to do something at the summit to overshadow the split screen that we created to overshadow his summit. It's so stupid and to think that Lanny is working pro bono. Come on, he's still on the payroll of the Clintons, the Democrats.

Lanny does nothing for free. It's clear, the Democrats are using Cohen as a weapon to impeach him and these prosecutors in the Southern District are going after him in order to burnish their credentials and help propel their political career.

GUTFELD: By the way, if nothing happens, something still happened because you can always return to whatever kind of cold war you want so if you decide that you never want to do this, then you're just happy to always be at the mercy of somebody's missiles.

So I think this is what - the steps that's already been made, it's pretty good.

PERINO: Yes, well, I think there's no question about it and even people who have been skeptical like in the national security community, I feel like they have even been like, okay, well, I'll be a skeptical optimist.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's you know - that's the best kind of skepticist. No the optimal skeptimist or the pessimistic optimist.

PERINO: Skeptical optimist?

GUTFELD: Skeptical optimist.

WATTERS: Oh, you two.

GUTFELD: All right, 'One more thing' is up next.


WATTERS: Time now for 'One more thing.' Juan.

WILLIAMS: So a bunch of tall guys, 7 foot guys get stuck in an elevator. Hold on, this is no joke.

Take a look at these big guys. The Portland trail blazers really got stuck in an elevator yesterday for 30 minutes.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We are having a--

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We're stuck man.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We got stuck in an elevator man.


WILLIAMS: You see the all star Damian Lillard knelt down and pulled his jacket over his head. Evan Turner, he made the sign of the cross when the elevator began jerking up and down. Meanwhile Rodney Hood looked like he was on the verge of freaking out.

There were jokes about rationing food, people online were following it and they asked about using the bathroom. Finally the players crawled out of the elevator. You know, the trailblazers have a game tonight in Boston against the Celtics. Let's see if the luck of the Irish is on their side this time.

GUTFELD: Just 30 minutes.

PERINO: And Greg, I got to tell you. If that was you and me, we would never be able to get out of there because we were--

GUTFELD: Well, that's because it's like a one bedroom condo for us.

PERINO: I know and then we're like, how could we ever reach?

PERINO: All right, I want you to meet Keller. This is a wonderful story.

So Keller was born in 2017. He was born deaf and blind. He was like abandoned by the side of train tracks. He's a really cute little dog.

An animal control found him, recommended putting the puppy down as an act of mercy due to his disabilities but a surgeon took a chance on Keller, cleaned him up and eventually John Gray and his family fell in love with him during a visit to the shelter, they brought him back and they've created this book.

Wrote this book in the beautiful illustration called Keller's heart. It's written by John to inspire others maybe with special needs and let them know, it's okay to be different. Now get this, over 800 people waited to meet Keller in person at the book launch in Albany.

John Gray is a Fox Anchor in Albany and they give a portion of proceeds to shelters that help dogs with special needs and so far as like over $3000. Like look at all those people. I don't think that many people would come out to see Jasper.

WATTERS: Oh you know why?

GUTFELD: Wow, I can't believe you admitted that.

PERINO: No, I think it's true. So congratulations to John Gray and his family and of course, Keller and I think this book's very cute.

GUTFELD: Don't let it give you any ideas. Don't do anything to Jasper.

PERINO: Okay, all right, don't worry.

GUTFELD: All right, time for 'Greg's plugs.' Notice it's pointing at my hair but that's just a joke.

All right my shows this weekend in Florida sold out in Tampa but there's a 100 seats left in West Palm Beach. You better get them and then I'll be in Detroit, Tulsa, Dallas.

Go to ggutfeld.com. Also on Fox Nation, my interview with the legendary Kurt Loder. He's up there, we talk about the Oscars. He's a movie freak, he's very smart, awesome dude and then my podcasts, if you go to Foxnewspodcasts.com, I just finished my podcast with the legendary comedian, Colin Quinn.

We talk about his off Broadway show, Red State Blue State, he's such a sweet heart and also he's recovering from a heart attack.

PERINO: I know and I want to go see his play, Red State Blue State.

GUTFELD: It's not a play, it's a one man show.

PERINO: One man show.

GUTFELD: It's a one man show. Get it right Dana. You know, I try to do my best here.

WATTERS: All right, yes, tell her I'll call her back. I'll call her back. Oh, this is a hash brown okay.

GUTFELD: That is amazing acting. meeting.

WATTERS: There is a guy in Connecticut that got pulled over for distracted driving by a cop. It was just a hash brown.

He's fighting the ticket though. Look, see the difference. Hash Brown, cell phone. Hash Brown, cell phone. I could see how the cop could make a mistake. He's fighting it though and I just want to wish Adam Steinberg, good luck because I've been pulled over for the same thing.

A hash brown and also talking while I'm driving.

WILLIAMS: Wait a second, why didn't he show the hash brown to the policeman.

WATTERS: Juan, I'm not his defense lawyer.

GUTFELD: He got to keep it in the glove compartment.

WILLIAMS: Maybe he ate it.

GUTFELD: Keep it in the glove compartment and then you pull it out and you go, that's what it is.

ORTAGUS: Were you on your actual phone when you were pulled over?


ORTAGUS: Well, then you deserve it.

WATTERS: Wait a second but I was calling my mom.

WILLIAMS: Hey man, you almost had Perry Mason defending you dude.

WATTERS: Oh man, I wouldn't have paged you, I totally would have - pro bono.


WATTERS: Martha McCallum tonight Wednesdays with Watters. There he is everybody.

GUTFELD: You and I are doing the quiz tomorrow.

WATTERS: That's right, Gutfeld and what are we on, the quiz?

GUTFELD: Tucker.

WATTERS: Tucker, it's called Tucker.

PERINO: And Trey Gowdy is on Martha's show too.

WATTERS: Oh, who's got better hair?

PERINO: Well, we'll have to wait and see.

GUTFELD: Who's got more unique hair?

WILLIAMS: Martha, Martha has better hair.

WATTERS: Oh stop, she actually does. All right, Morgan.

ORTAGUS: Okay, so my dream job other than being on THE FIVE is here and it is a chocolate tasting job. So unfortunately it's in England but you can now get paid $14 an hour to taste and review chocolate.

Mondolez International, the company behind brands like Cadbury, Oreo, awesome, I love Oreos, and Bella Vita is currently recruiting chocolate lovers to give feedback on their new products.

You just have to have a passion for confectionery and the tasters are needed for up to eight hours a week. Excuse me, yes, eight hours a week, $14 an hour and if you love chocolate as much as I do --


GUTFELD: Yes. They'll make you hate chocolate. They'll turn it into a job. You have to go to the factory --

WILLIAMS: If things don't work out for you on “The Five” -- Greg.


WATTERS: You can always fall back on chocolate tasting.

PERINO: There you go.

WATTERS: Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of “The Five.”

"Special Report" is up next with guest, Congressman Jim Jordan. Hey, Bret.

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