This is a rush transcript from "The Five," September 30, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino along with Emily Compagno, Donna Brazile, Jesse Watters, and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is "The Five."

Breaking news, subpoenas flying in the battle over impeachment, House Democrats now demanding President Trump's personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, hand over documents about Ukraine. This is the latest move from Democrats as they move full speed ahead, tee up a potential impeachment vote by the end of the year. Meantime, President Trump hammering the whistleblower and says the White House is trying to figure out who it is.


DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: Well, we're trying to find out about a whistleblower. The call was perfect. When the whistleblower reported it, he made it sound terrible. And then you had Adam Schiff who, even worse, made up my words. The reason is when he saw my call to the president of Ukraine, it was so good that he couldn't quote from it because there was nothing done wrong. It was perfect.


PERINO: Democrats say a potential hearing with the whistleblower could happen very soon. Both sides showing they're digging in for a fight.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This all hearsay. You can't get a parking ticket conviction based on hearsay.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We could not ignore what the president did. He gave us no choice.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This is not about getting Joe Biden in trouble. This is about proving that Donald Trump was framed by the Democrats.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The president believes that it's his God-given right to shake down foreign leaders for helping his reelections.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The president did nothing in this phone call that's impeachable.


PERINO: And Rudy Giuliani was just subpoenaed by the Democrats about this issue, and so we'll see how that turns out. He might talk about it tonight. He will be on Hannity, 9 PM Eastern. So you can catch Rudy's latest there. Let me first go to you, Jesse. This hearing that the whistleblower will have, it will be behind closed doors. So even though people are anxious to figure out who it might be, the protections that are afforded under the law continue.

JESSE WATTERS, CO-HOST: Yes, Congress never leaks, so we're not going to hear anything about that testimony for sure. I mean, if the whistleblower didn't hear the call. Who told him about the stuff that happened on the call and why didn't they blow the whistle? Why did they --


PERINO: -- the report it says several people.

WATTERS: Several people told this one guy. Why did they all tell one guy?

It just seems like a set-up to me. The other thing is where was Biden this weekend? Why was Biden not doing every Sunday show pulling the full Ginsberg? You've think that now, in the moment of the campaign, he'd be out there defending his honor, rebutting all of these false allegations according to his campaign. But instead, he had the media do all the defense of him. I guess, you know, when you're Democrat you can let the media do that.

PERINO: What is the strategy, Donna, do you know if the Biden people are thinking because they have decided, you know, basically to down play it.

He's been doing his campaign stuff but not talking about the issues.

DONNA BRAZILE, CO-HOST: I would agree with the vice president's staff. Look, he's running for President of the United States. He is out there talking to voters, raising money, trying to meet the deadline. This decision by the House to launch an impeachment inquiry is one of their solemn duties and responsibilities. The framers gave this responsibility to the House of Representatives. I hope it's conducted in a fair manner so that we don't spend the next -- however long trashing people, demonizing people when it is their solemn duty and responsibility to conduct this in a fair and accurate way.

PERINO: When they pull evidence like -- I don't know all the details, but when the House Democrats subpoena somebody like Rudy Giuliani, who is the president's personal lawyer, he doesn't work for the government, but he has been talking about how he has text messages on his phone that say the state department knows. So do you know what the law would be? Does the president have personal attorney-client privilege in this case or is it different?

EMILY COMPAGNO, GUEST CO-HOST: Right. Well, the attorney-client privilege only extends between the president and Rudy Giuliani, and part of what he was saying on TV and on multiple outlets is the fact that this production of documents is from like multiple sources, state department representatives, et cetera. So it's those documents that Congress is subpoenaing, not conversations between he and the president.

And in terms of the executive privilege, that doesn't apply because he wasn't working -- because the whole point is to determine whether or not he was a vehicle acting on the president's personal behalf using an instrument of the state.

PERINO: We're about day 10 into this story, Greg. How are you holding in there?

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Not well. I have to say I'm sick of this story. I'm absolutely sick of this story and it's only begun and I realize -- so why am I sick of it? Because I've heard it before. This impeachment has been served 18 different ways, right, since 2016. I can't stomach it.

It's like they keep remixing the same horrible song hoping that it will be a hit. But I can tell it's not going to happen. And I'm going to put on my therapist hat here. You don't have to like the guy to know this is B.S.

It's been going on for three years.

I hated the Dodgers, but I knew they were a good team. You don't -- if you want to get rid of this guy because of his personality, just realize this is going to come back and haunt you, because you're going to have half of America it's going to go after your guy or girl when this happens. And then trying to get Biden off TV, which is what -- I mean, not Biden, Biden's team trying to get Giuliani off television.

PERINO: That's a strange thing.

GUTFELD: It is a strange thing, especially when you are allowed to have Adam Schiff on TV.

PERINO: But also because --

BRAZILE: He is a member of Congress.

GUTFELD: Yeah. But he's still a liar, I mean, Schiff tried to get Trump - - tried to get naked pictures of Trump, so he actually did when he's accusing Trump of doing --


PERINO: We actually believe that -- believe it or not, we actually have a call for of that very call you're talking about. Let's listen.

GUTFELD: I had no idea.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What we have seen in that call record is a President of the United States use the full weight of his office to manufacture dirt on his opponent.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So you have recordings of both Sobchak and Buzova where they're discussing the compromising material on Mr. Trump?


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, obviously, we would welcome a chance to get copies of those recordings.


PERINO: That, Jesse, was during a prank call. Don't ever answer a prank call.

WATTERS: He didn't know it was a prank call. He thought it was legit. So Democrats can ask foreigners to investigate Trump, but Trump can't ask foreigners to investigate Democrats. Got it everybody? That's what this is all about. And there's a lot of fake news coming out of the Biden campaign, because they keep on saying that, you know what, everybody in Europe wanted this one prosecutor fired. And I thought to myself, hmm, I wonder why that is? And I went to start looking, and who was on the board of directors of Burisma, and guess what I found? Allan Actor from Renaissance Capital, the Russian investment bank that paid Bill Clinton a half a million dollars to speak in Moscow. He's the director.

Then we have Cofer Black, CIA. We have the former president of Poland, and we also have Devin Archer who's John Kerry's former foreign policy advisor.

Very well-connected, very wealthy group of individuals, and they wanted to get the word out to their friends that this guy was a corrupt investigator and he needed to be fired. But, you know what? We found some documents that prove that was a disinformation campaign.

Burisma hired -- I believe it was a blue star strategies, a D.C. consulting firm to put out the fake news about the prosecutor that everybody bought, and then the guy gets fired, and the blue star strategy group came back to Ukraine and apologized for putting out all this fake information about their prosecutor. And the Ukrainian prosecutor who was fired testified under oath that he was fired because he wouldn't drop this investigation into the firm that Joe Biden's son was a member of.

And, Joe Biden, the son, were never investigated. The Biden appointed prosecutor, who came in after the other guy was fired, never opened up an investigation into Joe Biden or his son. So, he never investigated him and he never cleared him, and I wanted to put that out there because there is a lot of fake news out there about this story.

GUTFELD: I just want to complete a thought -- why did Nancy -- Nancy Pelosi said why this phone call was important. It was because it was a simpler, clearer way to impeach Trump so that the public would understand it, right? This was an easier way for them to understand it. So this is all been like a Cinderella slipper, you know? They've been searching for that one shoe that's going to fit, and they went through a warehouse of shoes before they got to this one. But if they don't get this one, they'll just find another. So we know what this is.

PERINO: Donna, do you want to have last word here?

BRAZILE: You know, there's so much that I can debunk but we don't have -- we just have an hour. One of the things that I've enjoyed reading about all of this and the change of narrative that I hear, not just from the White House and the allies of the White House, but also the change in information that we're getting out of Ukraine. This is why we need an inquiry, so that we can learn the facts, expose the truth. And the more we get into this hyper bowl and try to defend our sides and not looking at the truth, the farther away we're going to get from resolving this matter.

COMPAGNO: Quick final point on strategy. Just respond what you're saying about the glass slipper. The hardest cases to prove in the court of public perception are the ones where you keep amending the complaint, or you keep amending the charging document. And the fact that this has been a slow leak, a festering wound for years without this proverbial smoking gun means that the court is -- or the public is totally fatigued. We're exhausted.

There's nothing. There's no ah-ha. It's not a tight case.

PERINO: But we will see --


PERINO: -- Hillary Clinton --

BRAZILE: -- would be a matter of consideration. And they knew that it would take time for us to discuss this.

PERINO: The framers were smart, and Donna -- indeed. Hillary Clinton, she is back attacking President Trump. How it could end up hurting 2020 Democrats, up next.


BRAZILE: Hillary Clinton is on a new book tour and she's gone after President Trump. Watch this.


HILLARY CLINTON, FORMER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I believe he knows he's an illegitimate president. He knows. He knows that there were a bunch of different reasons why the election turned out the way it did, and I take responsibility for those parts of it that I should. And so I know that he knows that this wasn't on the level. I don't know that we'll ever know everything that happened. So, of course, he's obsessed with me. And I believe that it's a guilty conscience in so much as he has a conscience.


BRAZILE: The book, Gutsy Women, favorite stories of courage and resilience, Hillary's co-author is her own daughter, Chelsea Clinton.

Their appearance tonight, Jesse, in Brooklyn, do you want to go with me?

WATTERS: I've already had my tickets booked. That's going to be a page turner, that one. I can't wait to tear into that.

BRAZILE: Oh my gosh.

WATTERS: Listen, she's crooked person. And for her to finger Trump as being crooked is complete hypocrisy. Talk about foreign interference in an election. How about all those tens of millions of dollars that poured into the Clinton Foundation when she was secretary of state or running for president? Did -- was that influencing the election at all? Or the $9 million she paid a foreign agent to influence the last election called the Steele dossier? She's a total joke and she's a total hypocrite.

But, she may see an opening because Biden hasn't answered basic questions like why, Biden, did your brother win a billion-dollar contract to build homes in Iraq from no experience? Or how did your son leave China with a billion dollars on Air Force 2? Hasn't answered those questions. Hillary might be seeing an opening here. What do you think?

BRAZILE: Well, I do believe that she has repeatedly called out the president on things that she disagrees with him. But this is a new level of attack going after her emails after all of the months and years of investigations. Remember when the Republicans control the House, we had the Benghazi investigation. We had all kinds of investigations into Hillary Clinton. But I'm looking forward to reading this book because she's talking about gutsy women, including Republican women like Margaret Chase Smith. Greg, what about you? You want --

GUTFELD: Yes. You know, I always love a book on female empowerment. I just find it a bad message that it took two women to write it.

BRAZILE: Oh, gosh. You are terrible.

GUTFELD: I'm kidding, come on. You go girls. You go girls. I feel like Hillary has only one world to live in and she has nowhere else to go.

She's like a drunk loitering outside a bar waiting for it to open, and that bar is the presidency. And she may be right. She may be right that when she's looking at this terrain and she's seeing a bunch of like supporting characters but no main lead, my question is -- OK, she does enter -- OK, she's got to be calculating the risk. What if she enters and she polls less than Joe and less than Liz? That's the risk of being humiliated.

However, she doesn't want that first line in her obituary to be I lost to Trump.

PERINO: Twice.


BRAZILE: Well, she lost the Electoral College --


BRAZILE: She lost the Electoral College. She won the popular vote. But I don't think --


GUTFELD: To use the phrase hyperbole, Donna, when she says --

BRAZILE: Can you spell it?

GUTFELD: Yes. When she says that this election is illegitimate, that's hyperbole. You know, elections exist to prevent war. That's how -- we don't have civil wars, we don't have coups, we have elections. But when you start saying these elections don't matter, she's actually pushing it towards conflict, not anybody else.

PERINO: I was thinking that -- just in listening to her and having you here for your expertise on this and your experience that the loser of the election, the one who concedes is usually the one -- that they have the heartache, they have all of that loss that they have to go through. And, so somebody like Al Gore, for example, after the recount, he did not do this type of thing to say that the Bush presidency was illegitimate. He moved on. He went and moved to California. He had pursuits in documentaries and climate change. And I just wonder about the decision to constantly question the legitimacy of an election and how dangerous that is.

BRAZILE: I remember that night when Al Gore called and said shut it down.

Meaning shut down the campaign after the Supreme Court ruled. But we're now in a different era where all of this disruption that started years ago continues. Nobody wants to concede anymore. We want to continue the next fight. And this campaign now is going to be another exercise in what I call gutter policy.

But what do you think about Hillary writing a new book with her daughter, Gutsy Women?

COMPAGNO: Well, I think it's wonderful any project with your mom is wonderful, especially for those -- I don't have that opportunity. That's fantastic.

I think that her book tour is --


COMPAGNO: Her book tour is interesting in that -- you know, ever since the election when her favorability rate plummeted she has less than favorability rate of one third with independence, none with Republicans, and it went down 11 percent with the Democrats after the election in 2016, and it has not risen. So this book tour, especially since she continues residing in victimhood land, it won't do her any favors.

And it reminded me of just being -- like in a sorority again where she was like -- clearly he's obsessed with me. But Donald Trump is her one obsession, whereas she is just one of his many topics.



BRAZILE: But she says she lives rent free in Donald Trump's head. Look, what I do know, and I haven't read the book yet --

WATTERS: Donald Trump never lets anybody go without paying rent.


BRAZILE: True that. But what I like about it is that she is going to lift up all of these unknown women. Many of them who are not really known to the public, and tell their stories --

GUTFELD: And she's giving all this money to charity, right?

BRAZILE: Oh, you know, of course she's going to make sure that the money is spread very well. Look, there's another story out there, and this is one that we want you to pay attention to. An elderly woman confronted by Antifa protesters in Canada. The video next on THE FIVE.


WATTERS: And just when you thought left-wing agitators couldn't scoop any lower, their shocking new video of Antifa thugs harassing and screaming at an elderly woman who was just trying to cross the street. Watch this.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Nazi scum, off our street. Nazi scum, off our street.


WATTERS: The woman was just reportedly trying to attend an event Antifa wanted to shut down. It was hosted by the creator and host of the Rubin Report, Dave Rubin, and a Canadian politician. Not a good look for Antifa, Greg.

GUTFELD: I disagree. Clearly, that elderly pair presented a dangerous threat to these people. And I salute these brave freedom fighters, or as Chris Cuomo would call them anti-fascist, for facing down this tyranny. I don't think they went far enough. Look, this is an example of the unbending mind of the delusional activists. Like, as a human being you can see this is an elderly couple, you would -- you have empathy. But when you get your head full of ideology, everybody becomes a hammer and you're the nail or -- no, they're the nail and you're the hammer --


GUTFELD: -- right? But at some point each side has to police their own wackos. And the right polices their own wackos, but the left elevates them to some kind of legendary status.

WATTERS: Well, we have an opportunity here for you to police your own wackos, Donna. What would you like to say? Condemn or condemn?

BRAZILE: First of all, I don't like to even fall into that trip that somehow or another these are my, quote, unquote, friends. They're not.

They're not Democrats. I don't know that much about them. All I know is that whenever there's a protest, neo Nazis, and others, and fascists, they show up. So I don't know who the hell they are.

And I don't support or condone violence of any form from the left or the right or anyone else --

WATTERS: Well, Dave Rubin is not a Nazi or a fascist. It was an event he was throwing --


BRAZILE: That is typically what they throw up these picket lines for --

GUTFELD: They call everybody a Nazi.

BRAZILE: I don't follow them. I don't support them. I don't know who they are. But is somebody --

GUTFELD: Because they wear disguises. They're such cowards.

BRAZILE: I believe in nonviolence and I support peaceful protests.

WATTERS: Well, we will accept that here as a condemnation and we appreciate that. What do you think?

COMPAGNO: I find that video so hard to watch. I mean, imagine how many decades and how many events that woman and that man have lived through, and that is happening to them in their hometown at this age. In terms of policing their own wackos, I want the media to police these guys. I am sick of us being the only ones that talk about it. Just this month, Rolling Stone came out on -- basically covering Andy Ngo, an independent journalist who's been the only voice covering Antifa in Portland, and also Berkeley, and everywhere else that they're running amuck. And they've said how right-wing troll demonized Antifa to the mainstream media.

And it was all about tearing him down and his credibility. But they are missing the forest for the trees, which is that Antifa is violent every time they are out. There's no separating violent from their actions no matter what ideology that they're hiding behind and whatever they are saying.

So, it is up to people like the Portland mayor, Ted Wheeler, who came on this network, August 14th, and failed to take a hard stance, failed to say I will enforce and uphold the law in my town, and instead these guys are -- they are attacking everyone, helpless and elderly. Something needs to be done about Antifa.

WATTERS: Yeah. Well, Dana, in the commercial break we're saying she wish the elderly woman picked up her little walker there and smashed Antifa across the face.


PERINO: You know the thing I was thinking about is that you have all of those people there that are taking video of this.

GUTFELD: And not doing --

WATTERS: That's a good point.

PERINO: And I just -- that's probably why I'm sitting here in the studio and I'm not out there as a reporter because --

GUTFELD: How do we know that wasn't you out there? You know the disguises, Dana?

PERINO: Well, I have a few disguises, yes. And we look about the same size, she and I. But I do think that's -- it's hard for me to take -- like, OK, this guy right there, that one. Like, I don't know what his job is, and maybe he's in media, but like --


PERINO: Can you imagine not stepping in front of those people and giving them safe passage across the road?

BRAZILE: I totally agree, and I would have done it. And look at his hair.

Come on, it could have been me.


BRAZILE: But the point I'm making is that we have to condemn violence of any kind anywhere, whether it's domestic terrorism, whether it's the oath keepers who are out there now promoting civil war. Whether --

GUTFELD: Oath keepers, are they violent?

BRAZILE: Oh, my God. Some of the stuff that is trending now on restarting a civil war --

GUTFELD: But those the guys that would like go to church and pray?

BRAZILE: This is not -- this is not religion. Again, there's so much violence and negativity and vitriol, we need to stop it. Lower the volume.

GUTFELD: Nothing is as bad as that, though. I mean, these guys --

BRAZILE: I agree.

GUTFELD: Would beat the hell out of - if the cameras went away, they would have beat the hell out of those old people.

COMPAGNO: We need to protect the police. We need to protect the police department's ability to enforce the laws as well. Because that's also what's happening on the West Coast city is that there is not any support for that--


COMPAGNO: To enforce the laws to protect those--

GUTFELD: Police morale is so low.

COMPAGNO: Yes, exactly.

WATTERS: Yes. She was definitely a Fox News viewer. I can just tell. I can just tell by looking at her.

Robert De Niro drops a pair of F bombs on live television. Greg's got the latest Hollywood lunacy, next on THE FIVE.


GUTFELD: Nothing like more on a Sunday that some old guys spew an F bombs.


ROBERT DE NIRO, ACTOR: This guy should not be President.

BRIAN STELTER, CNN HOST: And when you say that, folks on Fox come after you. I remember the Tony's when you got up there and cursed--

DE NIRO: F them, F them.

STELTER: This is--


STELTER: So, it's not an FCC violation. But it is still a--

DE NIRO: Sorry.

STELTER: Sunday morning.


GUTFELD: That was Bobby De Niro promoting his new movie Grumpy Old Man 7. More strained keys. Actually, he was triggered by our nation's hall monitor, Brian Stelter asking him about Fox News for some reason. The host asks dumb, not a stretch, as if he didn't see this coming from a guy who talks like a one-man Navy.


DE NIRO: Idiot is the President. The guy is a fool. Our government today with the prompting of our baby in chief has - I call them.


GUTFELD: That's some reliable source you got there. This is what moms call bad language or producers' call, great TV. The plan getting a rational figure, a peaked arrangement and got him into snapping. It's like cabaret for the chronically obsessed.

It's like when you were a kid, it would pull wheelies on old man Johnson's front yard. Finally, just cracks, he's holding a spatula, chasing you around in his open robe. That's the De Niro CNN business model in a nutshell. Money for nothing and clicks for free.

Of course, the real story is how accusations of Trump's nutty behavior always ends up with the accusers acting nuttier. De Niro calls Trump crazy as he goes crazier. Adam Schiff calls Trump a liar, as he makes up quotes. Dems talk about undermining institutions as they try to undermine an election. But when asked for reasons why Trump shouldn't be President, all Bobby had were sputtering F bombs, his resistance had run out of script. It was just another role without dialogue. So, he had to improvise.

But I handed to CNN, it got me to watch by having it on THE FIVE, it quadrupled their audience. Congrats to Stelter and CNN for that one minute, you had a hit.

So, Dana, shall I quote Scott Adams?

PERINO: Yes, I was thirsty.


PERINO: Drink.

GUTFELD: He claims that because we've entered a new phase where not liking Trump is just a lifestyle. So, you're a lifestyle resister because when you--

PERINO: You don't even have to have a reason.

GUTFELD: Yes. So, when he kept saying why, why, F them.

PERINO: Is that when you run out of words and you can't explain anything anymore.


PERINO: And is this because they think you're too dumb to understand. Like if you have to ask the question then clearly, you're just not smart enough to understand why he shouldn't be President.


PERINO: That's like in his mind. The weird thing about the F bombs stuff is that, he's clearly doing it on purpose, I mean he has enough self-control, I would imagine to not drop F bombs. But they're doing it for effect as if it worked. So, who else did that recently, Beto O'Rourke?


PERINO: He's out there, he's dropping the F bomb everywhere to the point that ABC had to say, by the way, not going to be allowed on our debate stage, not going to allow that, and they're like well, we just might do it anyway.


PERINO: Also, I just wonder about Robert De Niro because it does seem like he's either playing himself or a character or it could be just the same thing now.

GUTFELD: No, it is the same, this is a role. The resistor is the role now and he's comfortable in the role--

PERINO: Starring in the role.

GUTFELD: He's starring in the role. Though I will say this Donna, I am pro- swearing. I don't know why we have to be so worried about those words. And maybe it's because I don't have kids, but I find swearing to be a valuable thing.

BRAZILE: You know I spent most of my childhood and I would say almost half of my adulthood going to church on Sunday, confessing to using swear words. So, I try to avoid them although I've been able to make complete sentences out of swear words, but not on this show. This potty mouth stuff, I don't think it's good TV, Emily. I think it's rude, it's offensive and that's why we have to - I'd said this weekend, don't take the bait, when the President was tweeting out things, calling Democrats savages.

I said, don't take the bait, be best. I always use the First Lady; you know hashtag The Best. We all try to be at our best when we're dealing with these topics.

GUTFELD: Could potty mouth be a medical condition.

COMPAGNO: Turrets? That's when you can't control.


COMPAGNO: Yes, I think there's something to be said of course, swearing feels really good and it's kind of blows off steam, but that's usually privately and there's obviously the stronger argument for it in the national conversation, in public discourse. We want you to be able to use your words and how that specificity and rise above it, especially for those running for office and whatnot.

I personally appreciated that Bobby D doubled down and instead of apologizing that at like literally his response to Brian saying, so you know for you like kind of unleashing that tirade that was his response to that, he doubled down. That being said, he's a larger than life celebrity. Nothing will ever touch Bobby D.

GUTFELD: Really? I don't know, I think he might be touched now, Jesse.

BRAZILE: So, Jesse, was he promoting this movie, what is that The Irishman.

WATTERS: Yes, The Irishman. And I think everybody should see it, because they shot a big scene on my old street in the West Village. That's why I am going to see it. It looks amazing and It has Joe Pesci in it, it has pretty much any great actor in any of those gangster movies that's going to be in it.

And I disagree with all of you, you guys are being way too sensitive. He's old. He doesn't care. He's rich. He obviously - Trump drives him crazy.


WATTERS: So, I don't think it's about lacking self-control. I don't think he even wants to control him.


WATTERS: I think he is letting hang all out there--

PERINO: That's true.

WATTERS: Who cares, he'll say whatever he wants to say.


PERINO: Like someone else we know.

GUTFELD: I don't think - my thing is I could care less about the swearing. What I find interesting is that he couldn't come up with a reason. So, it's like and that's where you run into a lot of people like this that when you're talking to him, you go OK just tell me and they go, and then they run away.

WATTERS: Well, the question was you know what do you have to say if people really watch Fox News and criticize you. And he goes, I don't care who criticizes. That's all that is.

PERINO: I admire that.


PERINO: I mean I'm kind of sensitive.

GUTFELD: You are very sensitive.

BRAZILE: But I support the Office of the Presidency regardless of who the occupant and I think you know to have someone use that word in conjunction with the Office of the Presidency, I have a decency standard. I may dislike that you're holding a position.

WATTERS: Well, he wasn't saying that about the President that was a couple of weeks before, which I don't think is good. I think he was just saying the critics--

BRAZILE: Well, I thought you were talking about that.

GUTFELD: I have an indecency standard.

BRAZILE: I need to go to confession. You've got too much for me to deal with today.

GUTFELD: It's not pretty. It takes hours by the way. Laid on a tarp.


GUTFELD: Stay tuned. The Fastest 7 is up next.


COMPAGNO: Welcome back. Time for the Fastest 7. First up, a passenger flying into a fury after being told he couldn't use first class bathrooms. Take a look.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Bathroom be empty up there and that eight people waiting in line to use the bathroom while two bathrooms are empty in front. And he won't come to me telling me, he'll call the police.


COMPAGNO: The plane had to be diverted and the guy was arrested. I have to say I can't wait for Raider Nation to meet Jets Nation on the 24th of November, because that's going to be fun. What do you guys think about this? What's the craziest thing you've ever seen on a plane?

BRAZILE: I should keep my lips seal. I've seen a lot of crazy things.

GUTFELD: Wait a second. No. We should talk about this man's problem. Somebody with a small bladder, maybe he was a little rough and a little raw, but I can - like this is an issue.

PERINO: I think that they need to redesign the planes.

GUTFELD: How do you like - airplane is the only place left where you know there is a class system.


GUTFELD: When people walk in, they can see people with a better standing than they do and he's like sitting there going, I've got to pee, and nobody is in those bathrooms.

BRAZILE: How do you know he had to do number one, and not number two?

GUTFELD: That's a good point. I sit corrected.

WATTERS: Greg, you pay for the class.

GUTFELD: You're right.

WATTERS: You're not born into first class, you pay for, you earn it and you pay for it. And if you get rid of that--


WATTERS: You get rid of everything.

GUTFELD: That is true.

WATTERS: Everybody pee wherever they want.

BRAZILE: If you ask nicely, if you ask nicely and say, look, I have a problem, can I use the restroom. Normally, they allow you to do that.

WATTERS: If it's an emergency and you guys crossing his legs and going like that, maybe a little.

COMPAGNO: Usually, the attendant, they don't enforce it. That's the thing, you don't even have to have it to be an emergency. Usually, it's kind of like that guy. He was impatient. But you're--

WATTERS: Yes, they threaten to call the police on him.

COMPAGNO: Yes, and then they did. He was arrested.

WATTERS: It's a little much. He was arrested.

GUTFELD: I think - yes, he did some other stuff.

PERINO: think the thing that would make me the most mad is that the plane had to be diverted. So, then you can't get to your destination on time.

GUTFELD: That would piss me off.

WATTERS: And his name is Jwan and he spells it Jwan. I mean really. That's how you spell your name.

BRAZILE: What was wrong with that?

WATTERS: Juan is spelled Juan.

BRAZILE: You don't know what was going on with his parents when they named him.

WATTERS: That's true.


WATTERS: I agree. Why, what are you saying, Donna? What's your theory on that one?

BRAZILE: I don't know.

WATTERS: You have a lot to explain in the commercial.

BRAZILE: I am keeping my airport secrets to myself.

COMPAGNO: At the commercial break. OK. Next. Not doing the dishes could be fatal to your relationship. A new survey says a third of Americans admit to breaking up with their partner over simple chores. And 67 percent say they fight over keeping the house clean. What was funny to me is when I first read this, I was like whatever like this doesn't apply to me. And then I read the percentages of like the little things you do, like 67 percent of people hate that you leave the cap open and all of a sudden, I was like oh, God, maybe I'm not the neat person I thought I was, maybe I'm secretly driving Pete crazy.

WATTERS: If you love someone you will do anything for them, you will screw the little cap back on, you will clean up after their mess. You know it's something that you do for someone that you really care about. So, when people are fighting in a relationship about chores, there are other issues behind the scenes.

BRAZILE: Sound like he has some practice.

PERINO: I would say that you should work these things out before you get married.


WATTERS: Really?

GUTFELD: Live together?

BRAZILE: I totally agree.

GUTFELD: You Harlot.

PERINO: Like who is going to take out the trash.


PERINO: Peter.


PERINO: Who is going to do the dishes? Peter. And walk the dog. Peter. Laundry?

GUTFELD: Cleanliness is a symbol of like evolutionary prowess, right. Hygiene killed millions of people over thousands of years. So--

PERINO: What? Like bad hygiene.

GUTFELD: Bad hygiene like let us to the plague. So, the necessity of tidiness that's telling you, you have a powerful mate that wants to ensure your survival. So, when you're like - my wife maybe a much neater because I wasn't really a slob, but I was kind of - I was a guy.

WATTERS: And now you just pay for a maid, Greg.

COMPAGNO: But those weren't really - those were more habits, not necessarily cleanliness. Like I think a lot of those were preferences like- -

PERINO: Just help around the house guys. That's what their girl--

WATTERS: That's what this is about.

BRAZILE: Help yourself, help around the house and by the way, if I cook you better clean.

COMPAGNO: Do the dishes. Next up, finally Elizabeth May is the head of the Green Party in Canada recently put out a photo of her holding a reusable cup with a metal straw, but not so fast. They later admitted that the image is photoshopped and the original photo, May is holding a paper cup without a straw. Her party's platform vows to ban all single use plastic products. This just to me shows nothing is ever worth getting caught for a fabrication.

WATTERS: Well, I mean you don't even have to fake it in this country. There's AOC and hamburgers, drinking from straws. You don't even have to fake it. They do it. They're hypocrites here.

BRAZILE: I don't know if they're hypocrites. They're trying to tell the larger story that we need to care more about our environment. Look, I love to go cups. I can't wait to go home this week and am I have to go cup and something and it's going to--

GUTFELD: Make it to go.

BRAZILE: Go. Go cup.

PERINO: The thing about this that I love it, it does show the hypocrisy but also like overeager staffers who see this photograph of her and think oh, my gosh. And so instead of just cropping the photo, right, they Photoshopped it instead to make it--

GUTFELD: Sneaky.

PERINO: Crop don't shop. That's the advice I got from--

GUTFELD: But it shows you in order to follow their principles, in order for them to follow their own principles. They have to deceive people. It is impossible to do what these people want you to do, so they have to lie and then they demand you to follow while they actually buy.

BRAZILE: What is she drinking, that's what I want to know, Greg.

GUTFELD: That's true.

WATTERS: And if you ever see a compromising photo of me, it's been photoshopped.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's true.

WATTERS: That is my line. Sticking to it.

BRAZILE: If you see me with a cup in my hand you know I'm drinking something cold.

GUTFELD: We will have that in the future. Everything will be a deep fake from now on, including those photos of you have taken last year.

WATTERS: Yes, right. me. With my tarp.

COMPAGNO: All right, amazing. All right guys, One More Thing is up next.


PERINO: Time now for One More Thing. Greg.

GUTFELD: All right, let's do this. Animals are Great. You know maybe when you were a child, you didn't have any friends or maybe three older sisters that just ignored you. You've had to make fun for yourself. You had to be your own playmate just like this little fellow here taught himself how to play catch by using the trampoline because he had no other people to play with. Look at this. Isn't this kind of pull the whatever you call it of your heart--

PERINO: Heart strings.

GUTFELD: Heart strings.

WATTERS: Greg, doesn't have those.

GUTFELD: I had them removed. They were swollen. I've had to get my heart strings cleared.

BRAZILE: Hey Dana, that's something Jasper could do.

GUTFELD: And that is why, Animals are Great. Everything looks like Jasper and the Jasper rose colored grasses.

PERINO: Colored grasses. Everybody wants them. All right. Mine is about a third grader. Now, the story turns out well. But it was a sad beginning. He and his family lost everything in a house fire. He's in third grade. His name is Daniel Hunt and he goes to Philadelphia Elementary School, which is in Tennessee.

So, they lost everything they owned. And after hearing about the classmate in need, the entire third grade secretly held a toy drive to replace some of the things that were destroyed in the fire and we have all these pictures here. Needless to say, he was very shocked and very happy to be so supported by his fellow students. So, they are warriors at Philadelphia Elementary School.

GUTFELD: Jesse, you lied about a fire, so you could get toys.


WATTERS: Is that true?

PERINO: Deep fake.

WATTERS: Deep fake. Also, Philadelphia is in Tennessee, deep fake. Got me on that one. So, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? Does anybody know?


WATTERS: Wrong. I also have a similar query that I'd like to present to the audience, it involves watermelons and rubber bands. How many rubber bands do you have to wrap around a watermelon before the watermelon explodes? OK. This will show you the answer.

OK. Right. I have the answer right here. I want everybody to take a guess. How many, Donna?






COMPAGNO: I was the closest.

WATTERS: You win.

GUTFELD: You win the watermelon.

WATTERS: You win the watermelon.

GUTFELD: Pick it up Tennessee.

PERINO: But you know you shouldn't try that at home. Jesse daughter definitely do that.

WATTERS: That's right. Just not in the apartment.

BRAZILE: Well, the Root, an online magazine just released the 100 most influential African Americans ages 25 to 45. Jesse, I didn't make the list. I'm a little bit older, but guess who made the list, Beyonce, Steph Curry, Lizo and Janelle Monet. So, just want to let you know there are 100 people there. On the list unfortunately I didn't make it, I am too old, AARP come and get me.

PERINO: You're on our list. All right, Emily.

BRAZILE: Thank you.

COMPAGNO: All right, you guys. I just wanted to show you this sweet scene from SNS High School in Sadler, Texas where the high school voted to crown their homecoming queen Miss Trinity Errington. And we're seeing her right now actually deciding to give her crown and flowers to her friend Emily Petty (ph).

She said, I decided to give my crown to my sweet friend Emily, because she's always wanted to be a princess and I decided she deserved it. And we learned that during the runnings or whatever, she kept telling everyone to vote for her friend Emily. Trinity was the one that actually won and she gave her crown and flowers to sweet Emily. So, I always love to see stories like this.

PERINO: That is very nice. I don't think that Jesse, have you ever won something and gave it away?

WATTERS: Well, I didn't want it.

GUTFELD: Any of you people homecoming queen?


GUTFELD: Jesse don't answer.

PERINO: Were you, Emily?

WATTERS: That was a deep fake.

COMPAGNO: No, I won other things.

PERINO: What did you win? Prom queen.

COMPAGNO: Like best dancer in high school and other things.

PERINO: Like what, now you're on the spot.

COMPAGNO: Awards that I think that don't - I mean you know it has to do with looks and things that - it's more important about what you are on the inside.

GUTFELD: No, it isn't. Who told you that lie? It's so--

BRAZILE: Most athletic, although I will never work out in a gym with this one over here because she puts me to shame.

COMPAGNO: I don't know, did you ever win anything? What were you most likely to be?

GUTFELD: I was voted most likely to be on a show called "The Five."

PERINO: Oh! Wow.

BRAZILE: I thought I was most intelligent--

PERINO: Crystal ball out there in California. All right. Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of "The Five." "Special Report," it's coming up right now.

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