This is a rush transcript from "The Five," September 17, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, HOST: Hi, I'm Greg Gutfeld with Emily Compagno, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, and she owns a condo in candy land, Dana Perino. “The Five.”
So it turns out that the writers of that discredited Kavanaugh book have initially included the fact that the victim couldn't recall the alleged incident, that huge story, but the Times took it out of their own article.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I think what happened, actually, was that, you know, we had her name and, you know, the Times doesn't usually include the name of the victim. And so, I think in this case the editors felt like maybe it's probably better to remove it. And in removing her name, they removed the other reference to the fact that she didn't remember.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: OK.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It was just sort of editing, you know, done in a haste of -- in the editing process, as you know.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: So this humongous detail disappeared in the haste of the editing process. That's like saying, in the haste of editing our piece on the maiden voyage of the Titanic in the North Atlantic in 1912, we left out the fact that it sank. This was no error. This was a business decision to turn a nothing burger of a story into sirloin steak. When the victim renounced her own victimhood, they left it out. What's worse, the reporters now blamed the editors and the victim suggesting substance abuse. How do they still have jobs?
And what about Christine Ford allies who threatened to smear one witness, Leland Keyser, if she didn't back up her story? That's pretty huge, too. It's witness tampering. Somehow, that got ignored as well. But this is the media. The only reason this hasn't happened to you, dear viewer, is that they don't consider you important enough to destroy. So, in the meantime, they'll target your proxies, Republican, justices, families and businesses of Republicans. They shape the smear first, then they work backwards, erasing any facts that hinder their reverse engineering.
And so, Kavanaugh is a rapist becomes a foregone conclusion. In time, they'll do this to you if you ever make their radar, because the institutional media is at panic. They're getting killed, and it's not homicide by Trump. Nope, it's all self-inflicted. Suicide by their own arrogant, dishonest hands.
Emily, it's interesting, the reporters, like, gently threw the editors under the bus. And then, when they talked about the victim not corroborating, they're like -- she's probably drunk.
EMILY COMPAGNO, HOST: You know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of being taken for an idiot.
GUTFELD: That be two.
COMPAGNO: In all of this, it's basically like, oh, you, dear viewer, or dear reader, you won't know, you won't care, so why don't you just take what I give you and digest it, right? So then, they say, oh, in the haste of our editing process because the end product is somehow more important than the process of democracy dying in darkness. And I really hate the hypocrisy coming out of the left where, once again, they're telling someone, oh, here honey, this is what happened. But, oh, you know, your struggles with moonshine are the reasons why you can't remember.
And then final point, you know, this has created such a ripple effect in terms of sham journalism. Just last month, it was solidified, you know, a now professor, but one of Kavanaugh's classmates, sued the Huffington Post over the article about Georgetown prep being a free for all in a party environment. And their insinuations, or actually there declarations that he provided the drugs that RFK's son O.D. over.
And in the retraction and the correction that Huff Po published, they literally defamed him more, and then they have to retract that. And now, their story, by the way, does not even mention the death of David Kennedy and the O.D. in 1984. And so, I think they basically dug a hole even deeper.
GUTFELD: You know, Juan, in an effort to get tweeted by Donald Trump, I'm going to say to you that journalism is dead and the New York Times killed it.
JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: Yeah, I was listening. I heard you say that in the monologue. And I'm surprise because the New York Times is highly profitable these days.
GUTFELD: Oh, yeah, makes a lot of money lying to America.
WILLIAMS: Well, but I'm just saying they are --
WILLIAMS: I mean, that's a big company.
JESSE WATTERS, HOST: Imagine if Hillary been president. It wouldn't be making that much money.
WILLIAMS: That's what I think --
GUTFELD: Well, Harvey Weinstein would be happy, because that story wouldn't have happened.
WILLIAMS: Well, I think the Times made a big mistake. I think that's the important point. But I don't think it's an insight into left-wing politics in the country. I mean, to my mind, this was not a coordinated assault, sort of by an all-powerful liberal media institution. You know what? I would say, if that was the case, if they were of that instincts, I think they would have done -- said something about Neil Gorsuch, but they never said anything like that about Gorsuch. They said something about Kavanaugh. And I think the second thing to say --
WATTERS: He was the swing vote.
WILLIAMS: No, I think -- I think that if they -- the idea was, remember, the big upset on the left, Jesse, is that they held that seat, illegitimately, did not allow Merrick Garland a legitimate shot at having - - not only a vote, but simple hearings. So I think if you were saying, oh, yeah, they're gonna attack anybody, they would have attacked him. They did not.
So, to me, the real issue is, one, the FBI, again, lack of investigation. We've seen this today, Senator Coons of Delaware, again saying, hey, you should have done something. There was a piece in the Indianapolis papers today by --
WATTERS: Done what, Juan?
WILLIAMS: I'm sorry.
WATTERS: Done what?
WILLIAMS: They should have investigated --
WATTERS: Investigate what?
WILLIAMS: Well, I'm just about to tell you, but you're like interrupting.
WATTERS: So just tell me --
WILLIAMS: Well, because today there was a professor at the University of Indiana who wrote that he was at Yale at that time. He was -- he contacted the FBI, 25 other people, nobody ever got a response, and now you have people saying, I think Kamala Harris said this. It's necessary to look at the constraints put on the FBI by the White House to limit the investigation and to push Kavanaugh through.
GUTFELD: All right.
WATTERS: You can't investigate something that no one saw at a place where no one can say where it was at a time that no one can say it happened. And you're saying 25 well-connected Yale graduates can't get the word out in Washington, D.C.? Come on, Juan. I mean, it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous, Juan.
Here's the point, I like to congratulate myself for correctly predicting yesterday that the New York Times purposely let this slide, because this was not a mistake, this was unintentionally, and then today, we know was done intentionally by the editors who took it out. So if you're a New York Times editor, here's your thought process, Greg. Anti-Semitic cartoons, that stays in.
WATTERS: (INAUDIBLE) against Kavanaugh. No, you got to edit that out. And not only like you've said in the monologue about this woman who was pressured --
GUTFELD: Amazing story.
WATTERS: -- and threatened to lie to the FBI and say something happened that she didn't believe happened. The guy that is saying that he didn't witness this misconduct, he heard about misconduct, he worked for Bill Clinton. And you know who was on the opposing side of that battle? Brett Kavanaugh during the impeachment battle, because he was on Ken Starr's team. That was also left out of this whole thing.
So -- but he wish he kept his calendar from high school because that's the only thing that saved him back then. And the fact that the people are upset about Kavanaugh, yeah, I mean, this is upsetting to him and his family. They do this to Donald Trump every single day. Think about all the things they left out of the Russian collusion story. All of the exculpatory evidence there, Brennan, Clapper, McCabe, all that other nonsense that they never included in their stories until it all imploded. And now they're still looking the other way.
GUTFELD: It's true, Dana. I can never look at the New York Times the same way again.
DANA PERINO, HOST: Well, you won't have to.
PERINO: Because you have other options --
GUTFELD: Do I, really?
PERINO: -- because you're an American with lots of options. But I know --
GUTFELD: This Leland Keyser story is huge.
PERINO: Yeah. But it's also -- it tracks what she said a year ago --
PERINO: -- at the same time, when she was like, well, no, wait. Actually, no. It's almost the exact same story. So, to me, she's obviously telling the truth. When Juan said that this was not an insight into left-wing thinking, I tend disagree, because as soon as that story posted, before any of the corrections, you had several Democratic 2020 candidates saying he must be impeached.
PERINO: They can't wait for half a second. So you have to wonder about the judgment. Like, a rush to judgment. How reckless that is. How rash that is, rather than just wait in a second. And as we know, you have to wait and see how these stories go. The other thing I would say about this whole thing is in 2004 and 05 is when -- I believe it was '04 and '05, Brett Kavanaugh was first nominated to the circuit court. In '05, I was one of the spokespeople for it.
At the time, it was a very controversial nomination, but it wasn't about any of this. This was never brought up. Not once. And Max Steyer, he'd still gone to school with him.
PERINO: What they went after him for in 2005 was torture, and whether he had written a memo along the way that encouraged the president to be like, yes, OK, you can sign off on torture. None of this thing ever came out. I do think that Brett Kavanaugh should sue. And I think he would win. And I think that it would be worthwhile.
GUTFELD: Oh, wow.
PERINO: How about that?
GUTFELD: All right. Well, I think we're going to be talking about this later in the show, Dana.
PERINO: Are we?
GUTFELD: I think somewhere in the D-block.
PERINO: I thought it was a A-block.
PERINO: It's right here.
GUTFELD: No, but -- no, I'm just teasing, Dana. I was just teasing, damn it.
COMPAGNO: I'm so confused.
PERINO: It was already 9 --
PERINO: Well, I mean, did I get a chance to talk.
WILLIAMS: Well, you did.
PERINO: But not to -- I'm like -- but I went overtime.
GUTFELD: You did a great job, though.
PERINO: Now I'm not getting a gold star on my chart.
GUTFELD: All right. President Trump goes after Democrats for saying they want to take your guns. That's next on “The Five.”
WATTERS: President Trump hitting back hard against Democrats who say they want to take away your guns, 2020 candidate Beto O'Rourke leading the charge. He's refusing to back down after saying he'll confiscate guns. Trump tearing into Beto and others last night.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: Left-wing Democrats want to confiscate your guns and eliminate your God-given right to self-defense. As your president, I will never allow them to take away your liberty. And I will never, ever allow them to take away your sacred right to keep and bear arms.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: And another 2020 Democrat joining the calls for mandatory gun buybacks. Here's Kamala Harris.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEN. KAMALA HARRIS, D-CALIF.: A buyback program is a good idea. Now, we need to do it the right way, and part of that has to be, you know, buyback and give people their value, the financial value of what they have and not just take things from people that have value without compensating them.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: All right. So, Juan, for many, many years, Republicans have said Democrats are coming for your guns. And you guys have been saying, oh, no, that's not true. That's just a right-wing talking point. But now we know it's true, because they are coming for our guns, so what is it like to be wrong?
WILLIAMS: I mean, for you?
WATTERS: No, you, Juan.
WILLIAMS: No, it's not true.
WATTERS: What do you mean it's not true? He's just said it's true.
WILLIAMS: He said assault weapons. I don't know how many times -- play any tape you want. He says we're coming for --
WATTERS: Assault weapons --
WILLIAMS: Excuse me. Weapons that belongs on a battlefield intended to kill and may. That's what he said.
GUTFELD: That's every gun ever made.
WATTERS: They carry hand guns in the battlefield too, Juan.
WILLIAMS: Yeah. But he didn't say hand guns, he said assault weapons. Look --
GUTFELD: So Chicago gangs are safe.
WILLIAMS: The American public wants politicians to do something. But there's a disconnect with the politicians at this moment, because the politicians are all trap by the NRA money and medium threats. So, look, here's my thought today, Jesse.
WILLIAMS: Obama couldn't do anything about this even after Newtown. You know, Bush couldn't do anything about it. I think Trump has a unique opportunity. His position in terms of his populous appeal and all that, and the fact that he's close to the NRA to actually get something done. He says that he's not going to pick up on the House, the Democratic House passed bill that requires universal background checks.
But Mr. Trump, if you would do that, I, Juan Williams, will sing your praise --
GUTFELD: Would you vote for him?
WILLIAMS: But, I think, you know what? It's like what he did on criminal justice reform, Greg.
WILLIAMS: Those other presidents didn't get it done. I think this guy could do something --
GUTFELD: I've been saying that forever.
WATTERS: So what are the bipartisan ideas on reducing mass shootings that the president could possibly move forward on?
GUTFELD: Well, you know, I talked about the civil tag system, which, unfortunately, Beto has totally F-up by making it about him. So he's now saying -- like, when he sees somebody he doesn't like he's gonna call the FBI and say you couldn't have a gun. That feeds into the fears of people who own guns that a civil tag or a red flag system will be used unfairly.
I was hoping that wouldn't be the case if you go to a court, you have people who are, you know, health workers or police officers or school principals that are there to talk about the students. Now, what Beto's done is made it sound like, I could just make a phone call and you'd lose your gun.
So he -- you know, to get the spotlight for himself, he really screwed up a lot of progress. I also think that there's -- there is progress to be made in cosmetics thing, and cosmetic things that you put onto gun that aren't necessary, that tend to attract a certain type of gun owner. People disagree with me on that, but that's OK. We can discuss it.
WILLIAMS: But wait a second. Answer Jesse's question.
GUTFELD: I just did.
WILLIAMS: But seriously. You --
GUTFELD: I did, seriously.
WILLIAMS: I think it's like 80 or 90 percent say that background checks are cool, 80 or 90 percent say red flags are cool, right? People -- I think it's even most Republicans and most NRA members say all these big magazines with high capacity, we don't need. Would you agree with that?
GUTFELD: I just said. Oh, my God. I just talked about the civil taxes that I've been talking about for two years.
WILLIAMS: Oh, that's a red-flag stuff.
GUTFELD: Yes. And I've also talked about -- recently, I've talked about the whole idea of the cosmetic additions to guns that don't change the power of the gun that maybe attract a certain kind of user.
WATTERS: Yeah, because the AR-15, I mean, you really can't hunt with that, because it can barely put down anything. I mean, it's not really that powerful of a gun. But they make much more powerful rifles that could really hurt people that the Democrats don't even talk about. It's just the AR because of the stylizations to make it look militaristic.
PERINO: I do think that the White House is trying to figure out a way, what could they propose that would be able to get some bipartisan support? It is a tricky thing. I do think, however -- I don't know if you read the story today that the NRA, that there's concern on Republican -- in Republican circles that the NRA won't be as powerful in terms of get out to vote, because of the troubles that they're having.
But the thing is, is that Beto O'Rourke and Kamala Harris, for example, are doing that work for them. Like they --
PERINO: -- knew it's already going to energize people to come out to vote. So I do -- and then the president, he might be able to find something to do on background checks, but the devil will definitely be in the details.
WATTERS: What do you think about the high-capacity magazines? You know, you have ten in a usual weapon, maybe 30 in a rifle. Do you limit it at 60? Do you limit it at a hundred? Or is that something you think that people could get behind?
COMPAGNO: Well, that's interesting. Maybe, I think that might be a regulation that more of a plurality might go for, rather than mandatory confiscation. If I could focus on Kamala Harris, though, for a second, you know, for someone who has had decades of criminal justice experience, I find her over simplification, and also flip-flopping, exhausting, and really confusing. And she started with the take back and then now the buyback, which makes no sense because the government didn't sell it to begin with.
But, you know, she builds herself out as a, quote, progressive prosecutor. But when she was California's A.G., it was status quo. And under her reign, there were a lot of -- frankly, atrocities that happened that now she has distanced herself from, right? The Supreme Court said you're overcrowding in California is literally cruel and unusual.
Prison labor, all of these things, and she came out and defended it by saying I wasn't behind offices messaging. I literally had no idea. I find that either inadequate or incompetent. And so, for me, coming from California, and with also a criminal justice background, that's why I wanted to take this moment to highlight her jumping on this bandwagon, which I think is ineffective. And I don't think it's energizing the base. I think it's simply rhetoric that people who take it one step further and think about policy realize it's totally ineffective.
WATTERS: And by the way, Kamala is now losing in California to Andrew Yang. I just thought all of you should know that at home. Liberal insanity hitting new levels, one major city allowing students to ditch school to protest climate change, and it plan to crack down on chocolate milk.
GUTFELD: Chocolate milk.
WILLIAMS: The largest school district in the country stirring up controversy with two new plans. First, New York City is letting its 1.1 million students skip classes this Friday to protest climate change. Public school officials saying they'll excused at absences for those who'll attend for global youth climate strike.
And the big apple has a bold new proposal to fight obesity. They want to ban chocolate milk. The city's department of education is reportedly thinking about cutting out the lunch time staple. They're concerned of its high sugar content. Jesse, do you love chocolate milk?
WATTERS: I love it. And I'm going to chug it on the next break.
WATTERS: But, I mean, they have other things to worry about. Maybe make them go to gym class instead of skipping the chocolate milk. But about the protests, I mean, if we only have ten years left on planet earth, Juan, why are the kids in school anyway?
WATTERS: We're all gonna die. Why don't they just go hang out with their parents? You only have a few years left. I mean, think about it logically. AOC says Miami is going to be underwater in a few years. Why don't we just move to higher ground as Andrew Yang said? It's very simple. And the point of skipping school is to draw attention to the climate issue, so all these foreign leaders when they're here for the U.N. General Assembly, can see that it's a big issues.
So they think that President Xi of China really cares what a bunch of high school freshmen from the lower eastside think about anything? He doesn't even listen to his own citizens in his own country. So, at this point, there's no Vietnam War. There's no civil rights issue. So they don't have anything to protest. They're protesting the weather. But I do have an admission, Juan.
WILLIAMS: What's that?
WATTERS: If I was in high school, if I got to get out of math, I'd protest anything.
WILLIAMS: You go.
WATTERS: Yeah. Meat, men, Trump, I'm out.
WILLIAMS: So, Dana, it's not mandatory, right? And I've noticed that a lot of the private schools, they're even more enthusiastic about letting kids to go to this because they say it's learning outside the classroom.
PERINO: That's what Saturdays are for. No, honestly --
WATTERS: Saturdays are for the boys.
PERINO: OK. So maybe after school activities. As a taxpayer, I want children in school to succeed beyond their wildest dreams. I want them to have every opportunity. Not going to school to protest climate change is not going to get them there. And I just think as a taxpayer, I'm irritated.
And for the chocolate milk, you've seen the size of the chocolate milk that you get at school? It's like this big.
WATTERS: That's true.
PERINO: It's not -- we have this gigantic glass right here. It's like four of those in one. So I don't like the government getting too involved. But I really, really hate the glorification of these children led by the young lady from Denmark of getting out of going to school, and therefor now she's a big hero? I think that's a terrible, terrible idea. Private schools, knock yourselves out.
WILLIAMS: So, Greg, I was just thinking to myself, you know, for the kids, it's not really left or right. Apparently, a high percentage of the kids say they're worried about climate change. And then you get people like, you know, the hunters, right? The hunters like the environment because they go hunting. Or the evangelicals where the bible says you should be a good --
GUTFELD: I like what you're going there, Juan. And I don't buy it.
WILLIAMS: That's why I'm doing it.
GUTFELD: I know. OK. You could argue this is child abuse by forcing children to worry about something to a point where they're actually in some kind of psychological panic. You could say that. If you agree with this idea that you can take off school for climate change, then let's substitute the cost with one that you're not -- that's not your ideological cup of tea, right?
Maybe you want to protest going to school because it's not a gun -- it's because it's a gun-free zone. Therefore, you, as a parent, or your kids don't feel safe in a school because it's a gun-free zone, therefore we want to take that day off. Right now, you know, every liberal -- their head would explode. Or maybe because of lack of school prayer. Maybe you want to take school off and protest lack of school prayer. Of course you're not OK with that.
So the point is, this is all about ideology that you should be against this no matter what it is. You can protest -- you don't want to have boys and girls bathrooms. You could protest that, too. But you're not. So here's the thing. If I were a teacher and you didn't show up for that, I would flunk you. I would flunk you. And as for the chocolate milk, why aren't they doing this with white milk?
WATTERS: Oh, that's racist.
GUTFELD: Yes, racism.
WILLIAMS: Wait, wait, I think it has more sugar.
WATTERS: Yeah, white milk matters, Juan.
COMPAGNO: That's a joke.
GUTFELD: White privilege.
WILLIAMS: So, Emily I was trying to make--
GUTFELD: Lactose intolerant.
WILLIAMS: Greg didn't like my point about the evangelical. But my thought is you know the reason that we can't seem to come together on climate change is big oil, the big fossil fuel industry, the money they put into it.
PERINO: No, no.
WILLIAMS: And the climate change deniers. So, what's wrong.
GUTFELD: That was fantastic.
COMPAGNO: Sure. I hear what you're saying. On chocolate milk, I had it every day in public school from kindergarten through fifth grade and I think I turned out just fine. That's number one.
Number two, so back to that for a second. And just on the kid's component of it. I'm from the Bay as everybody knows. And so, in fourth grade, we were shown how to protest, and we staged a sit in in the office and I remember being so excited about it.
COMPAGNO: I learned the importance of a certain element of civil.
GUTFELD: You get detention.
COMPAGNO: Of civic disruption and what that means to be able to exercise this right. And I remember feeling so - just learning the gravitas of it and it was awesome. This is not that. You know the New York Post editorial board to me called it for what it was which is out and out government sponsorship of a particular point of view.
WATTERS: Citing the New York Post editorial board, I like that.
PERINO: I was impressed.
WILLIAMS: Dana, can you give her the gold star?
PERINO: Yes, you can have mine since I flunked A blog. But can I say something about - I think it's unfair to all of us. And I mean Left and Right to just say that this is just a fossil fuel problem. There are - the fossil fuel companies are actually putting a ton of money into innovations to try to find alternatives because they realize it. America is actually in a better position now from a safety and security standpoint because we have figured out innovations in fracking being one of them.
In addition, there was a great new story today, one of the things that puts out more greenhouse gas emissions than anything else is the production of cement. And today at MIT labs they were going to reveal that there is a new way of actually making cement that will actually capture all of those greenhouse gases.
So, innovation is the key to this. We're not going to basically protest our way out of it. If you're not going to school is not going to help you invent the next big thing.
WILLIAMS: Right. But I think big oil puts a lot of money into saying no, not a problem.
PERINO: I don't think they do it anymore.
WILLIAMS: I think that's - those are the largest point about--
GUTFELD: That's old fake news.
WILLIAMS: Oh! stop. All right. More on the New York Times Brett Kavanaugh controversy. President Trump's fiery response to the Times. That's all here when “The Five” comes right back.
PERINO: President lashing out at Democrats for their latest attempt to take down Supreme Court justice Brett Kavanaugh.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: The Left tries to threaten, bully, intimidate Americans into submission. They use Democrat prosecutors and phony congressional committees whenever they can. They'll do whatever they can to demean you, to libel you. They try to blacklist, coerce, cancel or destroy anyone who gets in their way. Look at what they're doing today to Justice Kavanaugh. They say, let's impeach Justice Kavanaugh. Let's impeach him. It's a made up story.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Despite major holes in the New York Times story, Democrats including members of The Squad are calling for Kavanaugh's impeachment and other top Democrats are attacking the FBI's investigation into the allegations.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The FBI investigation was deeply disappointing and troubling. They did not conduct what I would consider a by the book background investigation.
HARRIS: That was a part of that hearing and a sham process. I knew that there were credible allegations that should have been investigated that were not.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The FBI was straight jacketed. And there is a need for investigation now because there never was then.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Emily, help us understand how do you investigate something like this when the people are saying that they don't remember it and they don't believe it and it wasn't them and it wasn't there. Like what do you investigate?
COMPAGNO: Well, that's why I find it so hard to even, when people are clamoring and saying the investigation wasn't conducted or that it was and it stopped at the game of telephone which was it is not a corroboration when someone just says something that they heard from the same person that you originally heard about.
It doesn't make sense, it's not logical. That's not evidence. And playing the judge, jury and executioner as Kamala Harris and the other 2020 presidential candidates like to do doesn't restore my faith that they're actually going to uphold the process and that you know I think the President is right here. That is exactly what the Left is doing, and you know Judge Clarence Thomas in 1991, he said to a friend, the reason that he got confirmed is because African-Americans remain too loyal to him. This was his quote.
And he said that in 15 to 20 years, I predict that I will lose that support and I will fall into disfavor because the special interest liberal groups will stop at nothing to get their way and to get that message across and the same thing is happening now with Kavanaugh,
PERINO: What do you think of that, Juan. Because you know Justice Thomas.
WILLIAMS: I think - I know a lot about this and so it's hard for me to talk without - but I just think that there was a sense right at the time that the black community was initially supportive of Justice Thomas and that it was once you had a lot of people who were concerned about the abortion issue, pressure fellow liberal or Left wing groups, however you want to - that then you saw some of the black leadership begin to back away.
PERINO: I see
WILLIAMS: But let me just come back to this discussion that we're having. Now, the first thing to say is that obviously and I had said this in the first segment. There are people - 25 plus people who say I tried to reach out to the FBI, they never get back to me. So, it's not a matter of phone call, Emily, it's like hey, if you're going to investigate, don't put a time constraint. Don't say don't go beyond this period. Let them investigate.
GUTFELD: They did.
WILLIAMS: But they didn't obviously.
GUTFELD: Yes, they did.
WILLIAMS: But the second point I want to make is this. It is so rich to me to hear a fact challenged Donald Trump say somebody else distorted a story. I mean the New York Times took responsibility. They ran an editor's note that said, we should have put this information in the story. They've demoted editors for bad tweets. CNN has fired reporters for erroneous stories--
PERINO: OK. So far, Greg there hasn't been anything.
GUTFELD: They've done nothing. Saying a correction isn't enough. I mean I'm sorry. And to Trump's point again, this is the expanding target of demonization. Going after Trump is not enough. You go after the family. You go after the business owners who support Trump. You go after people in red hats who are just going to work. This is what they do.
And it goes back to what I said yesterday. Their tactics were exposed by outsiders. And it makes you wonder how many stories in New York Times, how many stories in The Washington Post that ruin people's lives were also corrupted. That's what I said like I don't trust anything anymore. And maybe that is the great service of the last three years.
Well, I just wondered, should we be looking at all of these other stories to find out how many people got screwed. How many people got destroyed because there weren't any Motley Hemingway's around to like check on it.
WATTERS: Yes. The Democrats used to win elections. I mean the last 10 presidential elections, Democrats won four, Republicans won six. So, it makes me think, do they know something the Democrats that we don't know. Do they know they can't win in 2020 or are they looking at the polling, the map, the fundraising, the match ups and deep down they know they have to cheat and smear and lie and deceive and do all sorts of these para military political maneuvers in order to take this guy out.
It reminds me Juan of the Tyson-Holyfield fight. Tyson was losing. He knows he was going to lose. He bites Holyfield's ear in order to get decued and that's how that thing went down. And right now, that's what the Democrats are doing. They're boycotting. They're blacklisting. They're smearing. You have the insurance policy. You have the witch hunt.
All of these shady dirty tricks they're trying to pull. You're chasing people out of restaurants, so they know what I do now, when I eat at a liberal establishment, I order the entrees first because that way if they chase me out, I already have a full stomach. I'm good.
GUTFELD: That's amazing logic, Jesse.
WATTERS: It's true. Entrees the dessert, then the appetizer if I have been chased out.
WILLIAMS: But you should get dessert first, man you deserve dessert first.
WATTERS: Only if it's chocolate milk.
WILLIAMS: By the way, who did the Clintons are up to pedophilia and led to a shooting a pizza guy, who said oh, Uranium One. I think there are a lot of conservative websites that never ever take responsibility and account for mistakes.
WATTERS: No one got locked up and no one was called the Russian agent.
PERINO: You had Uranium One on your five bingo cards today.
WATTERS: And it came out of Juan's mouth.
GUTFELD: Take it out.
PERINO: All right. Sean Spicer in a puffy lime green shirt making a splash on Dancing With The Stars. How did he do, find out next.
COMPAGNO: It's the moment we've all been waiting for. Despite backlash and boycott threats, Sean Spicer made his big debut on Dancing With The Stars. He didn't disappoint with neon green ruffles and busting out salsa moves to the Spice Girls. How appropriate?
COMPAGNO: OK, see you guys, I honestly never watch that show. I'm not a fan, but my mom is like the biggest fan in the world and so I asked her what she thought of his performance and she said, he was fun to watch. He kept smiling and tried hard, tolerable dancing but remember I enjoy the personality as much as the dancing, watching them evolve and improve. It's the heart of the show. No one starts perfect, but I feel like she's a harsh critic and so that was so favorable. WATTERS: Well, mom texts is my territory. Stay out of that.
COMPAGNO: That was fun though.
WATTERS: You know I found out something that I didn't know that he actually picked that shirt. COMPAGNO: Really?
WATTERS: That was an option and he chose that option. I thought ABC gave to him to wear.
PERINO: Forced him.
WATTERS: To humiliate him, because he is a Trump Republican press secretary. No. He did that to himself. And I'm also surprised at this. He beat Lamar Odom. A white Republican from Rhode Island beat Lamar Odom. I did not see that coming.
COMPAGNO: Also, you don't know what the other options were. So, if he picked it like maybe the other options were worst.
WATTERS: Could you imagine what else was on the table.
COMPAGNO: Exactly. So, what do you think, Juan, redemption for Sean in the public's eyes?
WILLIAMS: I think that segment was the most watched segment in the history of television. Look, I think he did fine. In fact, he exceeded my expectations, so hats off. I think he earned his money. Remember you were saying he was doing this for money.
WILLIAMS: I think he earned the money.
WATTERS: Every penny.
WILLIAMS: But I do think he should keep his day job.
WATTERS: Which is Fox News Contributor?
WILLIAMS: No, he used to be a press secretary.
WATTERS: No, not yet. Sorry about that Sean.
PERINO: Press secretary. And Sean Spicer will be on the story tonight with Martha MacCallum, so people could see more about him. I think he's a great sport. He is. He loves life. He's a terrific husband and father. I would never ever, ever be able to do this. Last night, I participated in a roast of Ben Shapiro. I was such a ball of nerves like almost crumpled under the table with nerves just for that. So, I could never have done what Sean did.
COMPAGNO: You were literally going to get an invitation for this tonight.
WATTERS: Wait, there is a Ben Shapiro roast?
PERINO: There was last night.
WATTERS: I've got to get my hands on that tape.
COMPAGNO: Was it fun after though at least.
PERINO: I was glad it was over, yes.
WATTERS: Who was the worst? Who really gave it to him badly?
PERINO: Well, I think that's different like, give it him badly means that you did a good job.
WATTERS: Right. I know what a roast does.
PERINO: I'm not going to say.
WATTERS: OK. All right.
PERINO: I'll tell you on a commercial break.
WATTERS: All right.
COMPAGNO: Greg, do you think that this helps round out Sean to the public that really demonized him for so long?
GUTFELD: I don't know if he needs to be rounded out.
GUTFELD: It just remind me of the world's worst cruise ship entertainment. If I was on that ship, I would have jumped, taken my family with me and no one would convict me. It would have been a mercy killing. You know you aren't getting paid for your time or for your work there, you're getting paid to be humiliated. That is a lifelong meme.
I will never do that, and I have friends, I like to think of you people as friends. You're my friends, right. So, if I ever consider this, I want you to drag me out into some room, drug me for six months, get me hooked on something. So, I completely forget about this, because that's what friends do for friends. They prevent them from making asses of themselves on TV.
PERINO: I promise I'll never let you do “Dancing with the Stars.”
WATTERS: Do you think Ryan said, Sean, no dancing.
GUTFELD: Don't do that. You're now a lifelong meme.
COMPAGNO: I feel like this. This kind of show is like a wedding where everyone takes their cue from the bride and he looked like he was having a blast. And I'm sure he was. And so, I do feel like people see that authenticity so rather than seeing him as annoying like I just I think that's classic, good for him.
GUTFELD: I would do that for $25 million. OK. Nothing less. And I'd also use that money, I'd go to an island. I would get some plastic surgery.
PERINO: Would you be able to get some crew neck sweaters.
GUTFELD: Yes, crew neck sweaters. I would create a race of Monster dogs or sloths. And I would never come back.
COMPAGNO: But Greg, no one wants to see grumpy cat dance. Like no one wants to see grumpy cat dance, like we want to see Sean, because he was having such a great time.
GUTFELD: Did you call me a grumpy cat.
GUTFELD: You know I can get--
COMPAGNO: One More Thing is up next.
GUTFELD: I can get you out of here.
GUTFELD: All right. Time for One More Thing. Let's do this. OK. Animals Are Great. Never ends. I do this simply to inflict suffering on my panelists. You know sometimes I just feel like a dirty bird.
PERINO: Oh! Wow.
GUTFELD: Yes. Dirty Bird. The only thing I could do is a dirty bird get under that faucet and let the warm water hit my belly like this little fellow here. Look at that. He knows how to get clean. Obviously, he did something earlier in the day. And he can't seem to wash it off. Some kind of moral failing that that bird has. God knows what he did to a worm, to another worm.
GUTFELD: My God, it's disgusting what he did. Anyway, that's why, Animals Are Great. Funny thing, the bird was Spicer shirt. All right, Dana that's you.
PERINO: All right. So, a Montana grandmother took the law into her own hands as well as a hair dryer. So, Patti Baumgartner wanted the cars in her town to slow down, she's like sick of it, she can't take it anymore. She wants her grandkids and everyone else in the neighborhood to be safe, so she armed herself with her blow dryer pose like a police officer with a radar gun and her son showed the photos of the mom online, got the attention of the highway patrol.
Noah Pesola and he tracked down Patti and made her an honorary trooper for her efforts. He said that Montana has a speeding issue and her creative response has helped draw attention to the problem.
GUTFELD: She should be arrested for impersonating an officer. Mandatory five years in jail. All right, Juan.
WILLIAMS: All right. So, this must be bird Tuesday, because I've got a bird story for you Greg. Have you ever played Angry Birds? Well, guess what happened to Representative Jaime Andrade who is pushing for removal of pigeons from overhead rail tracks in Chicago. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JAIME ANDRADE JR., LEGISLATOR: Did I just get - I just have to go and clean it up and that's what happens to my constituents. They get shit on all the time.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: All right. Representative Andrade is upset because his constituents are getting bird waste and feathers on their clothes, their shoes and of course their heads. But city of Chicago and Chicago transit, they haven't done anything and now the Angry Birds are taking it out on the Representative who is trying to toss them out of their roost. Watch out for those angry birds.
GUTFELD: Well, you know pigeon poop is high in vitamin E. I bet you didn't know that.
PERINO: You can vape it.
WILLIAMS: I hope you don't know that from experience.
GUTFELD: I am making it up. Jesse.
PERINO: And I was kidding.
WATTERS: Mentioned poop today. We'd like to wish our Executive Producer Megan Albano a very happy birthday. I'm the one that deliver that news, because I am her favorite host.
GUTFELD: Wait a minute, is that why she's not here today. Did she take today off because it's her birthday? You know how I feel about that.
PERINO: I don't know.
GUTFELD: All right.
WATTERS: Did I just out her. Anyway, it also coincides with a very other special day, National Indoor Plant Day. In an honor of that, I'd like to update with you might with my bonsai tree news.
PERINO: This is crazy.
WATTERS: Which I have here. You may recall that I have a bonsai tree in my office. I was very enamored with the tree once it was behind the Trump Tucker interview in Japan. So, I've got it for myself, but now it's dying.
PERINO: It looks off today.
WATTERS: And it looks dry and it's discolored. So, I think my assistant Johnny is watering it too much, it could be a case of over watering. But we're going to continue to provide updates on the tree as they develop.
GUTFELD: I'll give you my advice, fire your assistant. This is totally unacceptable. Emily.
COMPAGNO: No, I stand with Johnny OK you guys, I am so excited about this One More Thing.
GUTFELD: How can we tell.
COMPAGNO: Castle which is the setting for Downtown Abbey and don't forget this Friday, the movie is coming out. On October 1st, a reservation slot will open up for two guests, two commoners to actually stay there.
COMPAGNO: As an Airbnb for one night stay on November 26th.
GUTFELD: One night stand.
WATTERS: One night stand.
COMPAGNO: No, one night stay I said. Now I lost my train of thought. Anyway, it's going to be totally amazing, you literally going to hang out with the lord and lady of the Manor, the real Earl and Countess of Carnarvon and you get a traditional dinner. You got a private tour. I mean it's going to be amazing. I'm sure they have a million, because remember in the beginning of Downtown Abbey it was the white lab that it shows. I'm obviously submitting myself for that.
GUTFELD: Well, you know what--
COMPAGNO: I probably won't get picked.
WATTERS: Like a commoner, typical.
GUTFELD: Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of “The Five.” "Special Report" is up next.
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