This is a rush transcript from "The Five," July 18, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Hello. I'm Greg Gutfeld with Lisa Boothe, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, and she once was stranded on a Cheese-it, Dana Perino -- "The Five."
Well, stock up on the noisemakers, silly hats and Xanax: The 2020 election is only 838 days away.
A new poll shows that 3 out of 4 Democrats believe it's time for a fresh face. Can you blame them? Check out their ghosts of candidates past: Biden, Hillary, Bernie -- a cross between "The Three Stooges" and "Cocoon." The only way to get out that vote is to deliver walkers door to door while yelling fire.
Biden, he thinks Amtrak is a success. It loses a billion a year. Hillary, everyone loves a rematch, but everyone also loves a winner -- the only thing she's won is ridicule. It's less a rematch and more of remake of "Bride of Chucky." And Bernie, a relic pushing another relic called socialism. He's likable but his beliefs are toxic. He's like those delicious berries you pick that poison your whole tribe.
And we can't forget Liz, can we? But as someone who is 2 percent Native American, I have reservations:
GUTFELD: I do. I can say that. I'm Native American, part of me. Not sure what part though.
So, Dems want somebody new, somebody different. Where could they have learned this?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
THEN-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE DONALD TRUMP: Anthony Weiner, did you know that? She's married to Anthony Weiner, you know, the little bing, bing, bing. I love you very much.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Yes, from the guy they hate so much, that's the hypocrisy. The people who despise Trump are now looking for their own Trump, meaning a punk rock outsider who rejects the establishment and wins. Why? Perhaps we've figured out that the worst things about politics are politicians. And if we learned anything from 2016, it's that nothing will ever be the same. You can't go home again. And if you're a Democrat, that includes retirement homes.
So, yes, they need a new face, especially one that knows the issues. My choice?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ, NEW YORK DEMOCRATIC CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE: We need to occupy every airport. We need to occupy every border. We need to occupy every ICE office until those kids are back with their parents.
Capitalism has not always existed in the world and it will not always exist in the world.
UNINDENTIFIED FEMALE: You use the term the occupation of Palestine, what do you mean by that?
CORTEZ: Oh, I think what I meant is like the settlements.
I am not the expert on geopolitics on this issue.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Trust me, Democrats. Pick her. You will win in a landslide.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: They might.
GUTFELD: Dana, do you agree with me?
PERINO: Well, I think that when the Democrat -- every election is about new. This is why we had hope and change.
PERINO: -- right? And the Democrats did go with something new in 2008. They rejected Hillary Clinton and they nominated Barack Obama to be their candidate and he was able to win. And then the Republicans go the other way. They're like, OK, we're going to go with Trump. So now, the Democrats are going to have probably 15 to 17 people on stage fighting it out over the next -- I mean, it's not far away. The midterm election is November 6. The 2020 general election starts November 7.
PERINO: So, if you're really are going to start seeing a lot more of this. And I don't think that necessarily she would win this time around. But the left is becoming more progressive. They want something new and different, somebody who is willing to fight, even if it's futile, right? For example on the Supreme Court nomination. Dan Pfeiffer who is the former communications director for Obama, he's out on his book tour now and he said even though we know we're probably going to lose, it's worth fighting.
PERINO: Fighting to the death. Like, well, you might just fight to the death.
GUTFELD: Yeah, it's like when you're arguing with a spouse.
PERINO: Right, the spouse.
GUTFELD: Juan, welcome back. You did a great job at the all-star game. I think I have to defend Alexandria. Most people don't know how to explain the Middle East.
JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: No, and especially if you're 28. I mean, she's a newcomer to the political stage. And forget the geopolitical stage, she's never been on it. I don't think she's gotten there yet. But I think you're exactly right that people want a new face, and it's not only that they want a new face. It's interesting a saw in the polls that there's a split between people who voted for Hillary as to whether or not they would take a Hillary back. Now, I think where the argument you get, Greg, is from the Bernie supporters.
WILLIAMS: Who see him as Cortez, same thing, more energy. And here's one thing I notice in the research, Democratic strategists say we want somebody who will punch Trump in the face, right? So they want someone who plays like Trump, who's bullying, has the kind of.
GUTFELD: De Niro.
WILLIAMS: It could be De Niro, right? Yeah, that could be. But I think an actor, a celebrity, right?
WILLIAMS: Somebody who brings name I.D. to the table, has pockets of their own money, and challenges the party's base. That sounds like your guys candidate.
GUTFELD: Yes, there you go. All right, Jesse, I like the idea of a rematch. The reason why I don't think Hillary wants to be forever known as the person who lost to Trump. That's going to be the first line in the obituary, not that she was secretary of state but that she lost to Trump.
PERINO: But if she lost again that she lost twice.
GUTFELD: That would be a great.
JESSE WATTERS, CO-HOST: I have listened to a lot of, kind of, mediocre and preposterous monologues, but I think that might have been one of your best monologues in a long time. That was very good. Almost as if I wrote it myself. Just kidding. No, I think the Democrats need to nominate a fresh face, and I'm going to be contributing to the campaign coffers of this little socialist, Cortez, whatever her name is. But the Democrats are right when they pull this they want a fresh face. They win with fresh faces. They win with Bill Clinton. They win with Barack Obama. And they lose with Gore and Kerry and Hillary. So, like you've said, they want someone that's gonna punch Trump square in the face. And they don't want to do this Michelle Obama thing where, you know, Trump goes low, we go high. They're ready to get in the mud but there's problems with that.
The only person I can see really going toe to toe with him verbally is Biden. And I would not call Biden a fresh face. Also, when you get in the mud with Donald Trump, you never really get out. He's a brawler and he wins ugly.
GUTFELD: If he gets to Rubio.
WATTERS: Exactly, that was ugly. And also, he doesn't set up a contrast, a mini-Trump. And I think you win when you set up a nice contrast, but they're having a civil war. And the energy and the idealism is on the far left, and the money and the practicality is more toward the center. And we're going to watch this thing, and it's going to be great to watch. But the media is going to cover up all this internal friction and that's going to be to the detriment of the Democratic Party.
LISA BOOTHE, GUEST CO-HOST: And it's interesting. And it's interesting too because to Dana's point, Democrats used to be really good at sort of sampling primaries and clearing them out. And now they're not as much because you have this progressive wing of the party that is supercharged up. We've seen that come into fruition this primary -- a primary time where we hadn't really seen that before. But I think the bigger problem for Democrats is President Obama had really focused on identity politics for eight years, and with that, you saw a narrowing of the Democratic Party. Republicans were able to take advantage of that during the midterm election. And President Trump was, as well, being able to pick up these Democrat strongholds that hadn't gone for Republican in quite some time. So I think this pushed to the left focusing on things like abolishing ICE only further narrows the party which hurts them and is a negative impact heading into 2020.
GUTFELD: Well, you know, that's the point, actually, Juan, is like -- we talk about this about how Trump wasn't an ideologue. He was some -- some of these stances he had were liberal. Some of them were definitely not Republican. Should the Dems be focusing on somebody who's not an ideological Democrat?
WILLIAMS: I don't know how we would define an ideological Democrat on the left. I mean, I'm not sure.
GUTFELD: A communist.
WILLIAMS: A communist.
GUTFELD: Don't ask a Republican to help you.
GUTFELD: A Republican will not help you.
WILLIAMS: I was a foolish man to ask that question. You know what I think though, it's interesting, I think the counter to Trump maybe a woman.
BOOTHE: Who do you want to see?
WILLIAMS: A young woman not unlike that one.
BOOTHE: Rosie O'Donnell.
WILLIAMS: No, no, no. Like, I think, a young, energetic woman who is unapologetic in saying you know what, yep, I think you should have health care in this country. Yep, I think that we should raise the minimum wage. Yeah, I think that we should have no more student debt for people who are trying to get an education.
BOOTHE: Who is this lady, though?
WILLIAMS: That's pretty strong. Well, she's one of them but I think she's too inexperienced.
GUTFELD: Yeah. How old is she? Go check if she's 35.
WILLIAMS: Twenty eight, right?
GUTFELD: Yeah, yeah.
PERINO: To run for president.
GUTFELD: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That eliminates me too. This contrast thing, large number of Democrats -- Republican candidates that looked alike made Trump standout. We talked about that. So, I think you're going to end up with the Democrat that stands out.
PERINO: Right, because a lot of the 15 possible Democrats, a lot of them are senators.
PERINO: OK. And it's a hard to run from the senate -- well, Obama did it. But I think McCain and Hillary Clinton showed that it's really hard. OK, a Kerry as well. So, yeah, I'm surprised that his name hasn't surfaced a little bit more. He has a book coming out, September 24th, so you might want to add John Kerry.
GUTFELD: You planted the seed with Al Franken, and look at what happened with that.
PERINO: Who else you want me to add?
BOOTHE: Cross him off the list.
PERINO: What's interesting is President Trump will have a record to run on, and he will be a known entity to Republicans. He's got right now a 90 percent approval rating among Republicans. So he's running so low and he has a record to run on and a good economy. Then you have this massive primary were really, only 20 percent of the country is saying, OK, we are really far left, 20 percent are saying we're really far right. Now you see in surveys, 60 percent of Americans are saying I'm independent. So what happens, in the primary, you go so far left, to me, that gives President Trump a pretty good opening to walk right back in.
WATTERS: Here's where I just think the Democrats face their hardest challenge, when the tea party was ignited, it was based off policy. It was based off of bailouts and Obamacare and spending. And they have these great rallies where they cleaned up after themselves, and they had speakers and then they translated that into winning back the house. And they did all right in the senate. They kind of cut their nose off despite their face a few times. But it translated into electoral success. The Democrats energy, I wouldn't call it at the level of a tea party. I mean, right now, they have small rallies, there's no great speaker, and there basic message is I hate Trump. It's not really around a policy. And the policy that it is around is either abolishing ICE or we want socialism, and their tactics have backfired, chasing people out of restaurants, yelling horrible things at people. I just don't know if they're ready for prime time in terms of fielding good candidates to take back the house.
BOOTHE: Also, when you have a crowded primary field, you can see a lot of these people that are being discussed, like a Kamala Harris, a Cory Booker, they all kind of occupy the same space. You could inevitably see someone come down the middle like Trump did, President Trump did, that nobody saw coming.
GUTFELD: Peter Strzok.
WILLIAMS: But I think the one thing that's not in the equation as you've drawn it is this -- the tremendous energy on the left because of Trump, and I think that now extends to the middle. You see that in the polls, Jesse. The intensity on the left going into the midterms far exceeds what you're seeing on the right, even with something like Kavanaugh, and certainly when it comes to taxes, I don't know what the Republican message is other than we don't like immigrants.
BOOTHE: Jobs, economy, winning.
GUTFELD: And I said it's 838 days away. It's actually about -- I mean, 20 -- where are we now? 2019 is where it's going to start.
BOOTHE: It's kind of scary that it's so soon.
WILLIAMS: It starts in 2018.
PERINO: Starts right now.
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. All right. Democrats and the media double down on their extreme reaction to President Trump's summit meeting with Vladimir Putin. Are they playing directly into Russia's hands?
WATTERS: Anti-Trump critics are unveiling a new conspiratorial line of attack against the president. But is this playing into Russia's hands? You decide.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNINDENTIFIED FEMALE: Trumps eagerness to sell out America proves the Russians must have something personally, politically, or financially on President Trump.
UNINDENTIFIED MALE: Millions of Americans are left wondering if Putin indeed has something over the president.
UNINDENTIFIED MALE: The way he behaves, there is a clear signal that the Russians have something on him.
UNINDENTIFIED MALE: My question is, what is Putin have on Trump?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: Meanwhile, President Trump is defending his record on Russia while facing new questions about election meddling from the media.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNINDENTIFIED REPORTER: Is Russia still targeting the U.S., Mr. President?
TRUMP: Thank you very much. We're doing very well, probably as well as anybody has ever done with Russia. And there's been no president ever as tough as I have been on Russia. All you have to do is look at the numbers. Look at what we've done. Look at sanctions. Look at ambassadors not there. Look, unfortunately, at what happened in Syria recently. And I think President Putin knows that better than anybody, certainly a lot better than the media. He understands it, and he's not happy about it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: So White House is saying President Trump responded no to answering reporter's questions, not in regards to Russia's attempts to interfere in the midterm elections. All right, Juan, you haven't been here for the last few days. Thank goodness. I know you have been chomping at the bit here to talk about all this Helsinki chaos. Why don't you go ahead?
WILLIAMS: Well, no, I think the first thing we should talk about, Jesse, is this idea that he's compromised, that they have something on him, because this is all over now. I mean, when you hear Leon Panetta, and I think Leon Panetta is widely respected across the political divide in our polarized country, say, hey, you know his behavior is mighty peculiar. And it's not explained except by the idea that somehow somebody has some leverage over him, whether it's the notorious tape or money or finances. So today I noticed a lot of pickup on the idea that congress could say, hey, let us see your tax returns, Mr. President. Let's just get this out of the way so we know that you're not somehow financially, you know, in debt to the Russians.
WATTERS: Juan says, Dana, that it has to be something that the Russians have on Trump to explain his behavior. Couldn't you also say, you know, Trump's not living in a cold war world anymore, and he honestly thinks his outreach to the Russians is just going to make the world a better and safer place.
PERINO: You could say a lot of things. I do wonder if the Democrats have somehow some poll tested information because you can see when like the bat signal goes out and they all use the same language. I mean, Republicans do that too. But in this case, they were really focused. Just last week when Brett Kavanaugh was nominated to the Supreme Court, a week ago today.
WATTERS: What do they say.
PERINO: . it was all about health care.
PERINO: Remember we've talked about, oh, the Democrats are zeroing in on the message. They're going to run on health care going into the midterms and it changes all of a sudden. And I wonder if some sort of overnight polling had came in and said you know what really energizes the base, it's not health care.
WATTERS: You're right.
PERINO: It's Russia. So they're just going to focus on this writ large. I do think that the question being isn't this what Russia wants, meaning all the chaos within here. I think what Russia really wants is -- well, Putin wants to reconstitute the USSR. He wants power, prestige. He wants to be seen as a big global leader. He was doing poorly in his country because of the economic conditions. When he invaded Crimea, his poll numbers went way up. Well, that started to go down because one of the things they have a huge problem with is their economy. Putin has suggested raising the retirement age. He went from a 68 percent approval rating in March to down to 49 percent now. And that doesn't have to do with President Putin. That's a domestic politics. And every leader takes their own domestic politics to the world stage, and President Trump did too.
WATTERS: What do you think about that? Do you think this, you know, traitor talk and they have something on him talk is playing into Russia's hands?
GUTFELD: I do love the traitor talk because only on CNN is Trump a hard- core nationalist who would then betray his country. I mean, there're so many contradictions in this that he's an appeaser to Putin, yet he's trying to take the pipeline away from him. It's amazing to me. I have an alternative explanation. I look at Trump's behavior as somebody who didn't see what he did wrong, and it is so obvious. His reaction to the reaction was like, what did I do? This is just what I do. I've been talking about this for two years about working with people, working with Russia, might make a better world if you know for prosperity and peace if you work with these people. In his head, it is a business transaction. What he's doing is what -- I've got to build this casino in Atlantic City. I've got to go talk to Sammy, the bull, so I can make sure everything goes well. He sees Putin as this -- a little player that you grease so you can get the things that you need. The problem is this little player, Putin, happens to be involved in a lot of things.
GUTFELD: Yeah, interference.
GUTFELD: Interference, Middle East, Iran, North Korea. He could help with all of those things. So what he's doing is, OK, I'm going to give Putin a little bit of stature, a little bit of status. In return, he might be able to help us with all of those things. That's a transaction. And that's why he doesn't see it as anything wrong and, frankly, neither do I.
WATTERS: So, yeah, he's a businessman and he's not steeped in this kind of cold war mentality where everybody in Washington understands we've been fighting the Russians for decade after decade and we can't ever be nice to them. Trump comes in with a slap on the back and a handshake and just blows the whole system up.
BOOTHE: Well, the irony is that President Trump's policies have been tougher than President Obama, so it's sort of ironic that we're at this point we're having these discussions. But I think a lot of people want to look at Russia for sewing the divisions in the country, but we're the ones doing that as a country. We've seen so much division and so much divisiveness over the last few years, and we as Americans are responsible for that. So I think we should probably look at ourselves and want to change that. And also.
PERINO: Can I say one thing about the Democrats, though. I mean, they do feel slighted by Russia for the interference in the election, and they see that the president isn't standing up for election integrity writ large.
WILLIAMS: Thank you.
PERINO: That is part of the division. That's not -- they don't have the responsibility to say, OK, rabbi, OK, no problem.
GUTFELD: Get over it. They didn't cause Hillary to lose. Hillary lost.
WILLIAMS: Yes, they did.
BOOTHE: I'd like to finish my points. But, alternatively, you also look at something like Democrats pushing for faceless electors. I think that does a lot more to hurt the electoral process and for people to lose faith in elections, because what is the point in voting if we're going to have faceless electors and Democrats were pushing for that. And quite frankly, that does a lot more to hurt the process than $2,000 spent on social media.
WATTERS: Let me ask Juan -- let me ask you a question.
WATTERS: Do you really think there're some embarrassing emails about Hillary, and Baba, and Chelsea's wedding, swung the election away from Hillary Clinton? You really do think though?
WILLIAMS: The last ten days -- the Comey stuff with the Weiner emails, I think.
WATTERS: Well, Hillary is responsible for that. She's the one that soak the server.
WILLIAMS: No, she did not. Comey is the one who decided. But let me just say, the news of today is to me was, because I love my colleagues on "The Five," when Trump says that people of higher and intellect understand what he's up to. That's why I came back to the show because I figured I'd be surrounded by people. But I must say, how can you guys not -- you're focusing on, oh, the Democrats -- this guy is saying, oh, no, Russians aren't interfering, contradicting our own intelligence, our own senate. I mean, it's like he's not on our team. He's working for the other team. How can you ignore this?
WATTERS: We're not ignoring it. We're talking about it. And at least he didn't bow to the Saudi king.
WILLIAMS: Oh, get out of here.
WATTERS: Are designer babies coming to America? The controversy up next.
PERINO: A major moral and scientific debate is heating up after a landmark decision in the U.K. where the leading ethics counsel there has given the go-ahead to genetically modified babies. In other words, parents could predetermine the DNA, including physical attributes of their future children. In the lab, the Guardian reporting, quote, the U.K. Muffield Council on bioethics says changing the DNA of a human embryo could be morally permissible if it is in the child's best interests. Critics worry the technology could be misused to create a genetic elite. Greg, this is not a new topic. It might be new that the U.K. is making a formal decision, but like this has been going on for quite a while.
PERINO: And as far as I can see so far, it's mostly to try to prevent illnesses and disease.
GUTFELD: Yeah, critics of new technology are almost always wrong.
GUTFELD: They always go, oh, my God. Something bad is going to happen. And they do science no favors. If you have the chance to eliminate or reduce the certainty of certain life-long medical disorders among children, genetic modification could prevent that problem. These are gene therapies. And, by the way, when a pregnant woman goes on supplements, or quit smoking, or reduces alcohol, she's designing the baby too. When you read to your child, when you introduce discipline and certain kind of moral precepts, you're designing a child. If anything, we need more design than ever. I've seen these kids.
PERINO: that could be a controversial way to look at it.
Jesse, what do you think?
WATTERS,: Listen, I think in 100 years, anyone who has money is going to have a designer baby to a certain extent.
GUTFELD: Going to be a little Jesse Watters.
WATTERS: Yes, perfection embodies. And you know, they're going to say -- they tinker with the genome. A little bit taller, a little better looking, a little smarter, funnier. And -- and that's how it's going to be, because everybody wants to play God. All humans want to play God, especially if you're rich. You want to play God.
I don't know if I would do it. I like to roll the dice, you know. But I mean, if you can get a lock, and you can afford a lock, I don't see why people wouldn't do it. I don't know if America is ready for it, though.
BOOTHE: The problem is, they're not God. And I come from this from a personal approach in the sense that I have an aunt who's special-needs and a little brother with Asperger's. And these are the types of people that folks would try to avoid having.
So I look at this from a personal lens in the sense that my aunt is the wisest person I've ever met. My little brother is the most warmhearted, one of the smartest people I've ever met. And I can't imagine a life or a world without them.
And quite frankly, I think we have more to learn from individuals with special needs in this country than they have from us. So I fully oppose this, and I look at it similar to what countries like Iceland are doing, with avoiding babies with Down syndrome and trying to essentially eliminate kids with Down syndrome, and I find it disgusting. And I look at this from a purely -- a purely personal standpoint.
GUTFELD: How do you feel about, like, cochlear implants, which allows the deaf to hear?
BOOTHE: But I think what you're looking at with this is you're -- who gets to make the kind of decisions about what sort of genes and defects, quote unquote, "defects" that we're making?
WATTERS: The parents. So instance, like, theoretically, if you see that the child has some sort of abnormality and you can go into a lab with a doctor and say, "Maybe if I can tweak a gene," and then the child does not have that abnormality, the parents are getting an opportunity to make that decision. Is that what this is about?
WILLIAMS,: That's if, for example, in the case that we're discussing, the one that the British approved, it had to do with a heart problem. Right?
WILLIAMS: And that was specific.
WILLIAMS: Now, what they say is that most of the things, like if you say, "I want to be more like Jesse Watters. I want to be more athletic."
WATTERS: No one wants that.
WILLIAMS: They don't?
GUTFELD: Jesse --
WILLIAMS: I'll let Mrs. Watters respond.
BOOTHE: Jesse supports this.
WILLIAMS: But they don't know how to quite do that yet.
WILLIAMS: This technology, invented in the U.S. But guess who is specializing and pushing it? The Chinese.
WILLIAMS: And they have, you know, they used to have the one child policy and the like. This does not bode well.
So what you get is, to me, and speaking as an American, is a worry about inequities, because it seems to me, just like, you know, the children of the rich have a higher chance of getting into Harvard, Yale and Princeton. Guess what? The children of the rich are the ones who would benefit from genetic engineering of some type.
PERINO: Let me ask Greg something.
WILLIAMS: They'd become, like, a super race of paper.
PERINO: But also, Greg, also -- often when there is a new technology, the ethical concerns and the legislation or the regulation always lags. And so isn't it too late to have this discussion?
GUTFELD: Yes, I think it is. And I think going back to the case that Juan brings up. I think it is about stuff like that. I think it's not about making Jesse Watters a new -- a better Jesse Watters, if that's possible.
But the reason why I bring up the cochlear implants is there is a movement of people who believe that you're eliminating deaf culture. So that actual cochlear implants, which allow you to hear, is actually a bad thing. And it's like, well, who's to judge that? If a parent wants their child to hear for the first time, and they're activists saying, "No," well --
PERINO: The parents should get to decide.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes. I think that's where you end up. And I don't think it's about, like -- you know, and actually, it might actually -- it might reduce abortions, because you're -- you're, you know --
PERINO: Able to fix an abnormality maybe?
PERINO: Anyway, it's a very interesting discussion, and it's certainly not over. Neither are we. Up next, a great political debate. Who's happier, liberals or conservatives? The answer is straight ahead.
WILLIAMS: We keep hearing the term Trump Derangement Syndrome. It's thrown around, but is it real? Are liberals really that unhappy with the president? Well, we don't have an answer on that one, folks, but new research does show that conservatives are overall happier, more satisfied, and find greater meaning in life than liberals.
What do you make of this, Dana?
PERINO: That it's not new. This is -- these studies are consistent over time. And I -- I don't know. I grew up in a pretty conservative world in Wyoming and Colorado. Well, when Colorado was red. So I think it just might be an outlook on life.
And possibly -- and I don't know if this is true anymore. But attending religious services or having faith, I do think that that adds to happiness.
But also, conservatives, they're pretty happy with the country. They like the Constitution. They don't think it should be changed. So liberals tend to really want to change all of those things. Like, we're talking about a living Constitution. Like, no, conservatives are quite happy with what we have.
And so I think that's probably -- it leads to it. But I'm not exactly sure. Maybe conservatives might have more dogs.
WILLIAMS: More dogs. But let me pick up on what Dana was saying, because what the research shows is if you have more money, if you are more likely to be married and have kids, then you're happier.
BOOTHE: Well, I have none of those things.
BOOTHE: Yet. And I'm pretty happy.
But I do think -- I think Dana, you made really good points. And I think the religion part of it, one aspect. Because if you think that life is about something bigger than you, then you're going to be more outwardly focused, as opposed to inward.
And then, two, I think Republicans are very self-reliant in the sense of we believe that we create our own success. We don't look to the government. We don't look, you know, for outside resources to get ahead. And so I think when you have that sort of mentality, of "if I want something, if I want to do better life, I'm going to accomplish it on my own." That would bring a better sense of fulfillment and satisfaction and happiness.
WILLIAMS: I've got to shock you.
WILLIAMS: It says here that the happiest Americans are either extremely conservative -- that's 48 percent --
WILLIAMS: -- or extremely liberal. That's 35 percent.
GUTFELD: Well, that's interesting. Because I was going to say that people who aren't happy are often those who make politics personal. They identify themselves so much to politics. You will never be happy. You have to have -- you have to treat -- but happiness is really weird. Because it's really about long-term satisfaction.
And they do these studies, and they find that people are satisfied relative to others. Meaning, like, you could be happy at 5'8". But if all of you were 5'10", I would be unhappy. So it's -- it's status relative.
And that's why maybe conservatives might be happier, is that religion helps mitigate the envy and the dissatisfaction that happens with status inequality. If you -- if you don't believe in God -- and I won't say where I am on this because then I'll get letters, but status inequality is unexplained.
Like, if you're in a godless society and you can't explain why on Instagram everybody is having a better time than you and you don't have a community and you don't have friends that you can talk to or a higher power, all you have is envy. And I think that's -- that's a very destructive thing.
PERINO: Didn't you just do a podcast about this?
GUTFELD: I did. Thank you for plugging that.
PERINO: Remind me, the guy who wrote it, "The Happiness Project"?
GUTFELD: Jonathan Rauch [SIC].
WATTERS: I think Greg makes a good point. When I go on Instagram, I get insecure, because everyone's tan and looks great with their shirt off.
WATTERS: So I don't go on there anymore.
But here are my theories about why this is the truth.
WILLIAMS: Was that boys or girls?
Here's what I think. I think liberals see the world through the prism of victimhood and suffering. And so they see all these wrongs that need to be corrected. And it's exhausting, and it's incredibly draining.
I also don't think they're as patriotic. So they live in a country that was -- we overran the Indians, and then it was built by slaves. And now greedy corporations are running the show, and that drives them crazy.
And then also -- I think studies prove this.
WILLIAMS: And you could be content with this?
WATTERS: I'm saying that's how they see things.
WILLIAMS: Oh, OK.
WATTERS: I don't see the history of the United States like that.
And that also, studies will prove that conservatives are better looking and more financially successful, so that makes liberals, I think, socially feel a little awkward.
PERINO: Juan, are you happy.
WILLIAMS: That whole Hollywood crowd, you mean those liberals, that are so good looking?
PERINO: They're not happy.
WATTERS: No, they're miserable.
GUTFELD: Can I disagree with what you said? Can I disagree with one of the points you said?
WILLIAMS: Go ahead.
GUTFELD: Studies show that children do not increase satisfaction. That's a fact. It's because they're actually a burden. They're actually harder on your life. And people say, "OH, children will make your life better."
WILLIAMS: But it says here --
WATTERS: I saw an opposite study.
WILLIAMS: -- 52 percent of married people with kids, very happy.
GUTFELD: Now I'm going to get letters.
BOOTHE: I have a niece and she makes me very happy.
GUTFELD: It's because she's your niece, not your kid. If it were your kid, you'd be miserable.
BOOTHE: I'll report back in a few years.
WILLIAMS: I've got to tell you, grandkids are like this, too.
BOOTHE: All right. Nowhere near that.
WILLIAMS: I would say quickly that the one -- when I tell people what I think are the keys to happiness: one, get as much as education you have; two, get married before you have kids; and three, keep a job until you can --
PERINO: You sound like a conservative.
WILLIAMS: There you go. I don't think that's very conservative. I think that's rational.
Find out who on "The Five," yes, among this "Five" brotherhood and sisterhood, would be brave enough to blast off into outer space. You've got to stay right here to find out who it is.
BOOTHE: Welcome back. So have you ever dreamed of taking a trip to space? Well, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos has your ticket to the stars for an out-of- this-world price. For a reported $200,000 per person, a ride aboard his Blue Origin space rocket will give adventurous passengers the chance to experience zero gravity. Putting cost side, who here on "The Five" would be willing to go?
Greg, I feel like you would do this.
GUTFELD: Absolutely not. I have no interest.
BOOTHE: There is no way?
GUTFELD: No way in hell. I have problems with the elevators. And I don't trust Bezos. He'd just put you in a box. Robots aren't space.
I'm more interested in inner space, what's going on at the subatomic level. Like quantum physics, and the relationship to time and space and your consciousness. There's, like, a lot of speculation in that our consciousness, how we view the world, is based on the sub-particles around us. That's more interesting.
PERINO: That it interesting.
GUTFELD: Like the fact that, if it weren't for these sub particles, we wouldn't --
WATTERS: That is not your podcast, Gutfeld. This is what happens on your podcast.
GUTFELD: It's a pot cast. It's more like a pot cast.
BOOTHE: This is, like, a real thing. Like, there's a couple different groups. You've got Richard Branson.
PERINO: I've got to tell you, obviously I could not afford something like that. Also, I would never go, because I don't really have any interest.
WATTERS: Please. Chump change.
PERINO: I will say that the elite in this country and in Europe, and increasingly so in Asia, they'll spend $160,000 on a private flight to go overseas.
PERINO: So $200,000 per person. I bet there's a lot of people who would take him up on this.
BOOTHE: I think for Virgin -- or for Jeff Bezos. What is it, Virgin Galactic. They already have people that have signed up.
Jesse, are you are on board with this?
WATTERS: On board, nice one. Yes, I would go. I don't think people would want me to come back, though. I think they'd like me to stay up there.
GUTFELD: Be a one-shot wonder.
WATTERS: Don't get him the round trip. Just give him the one way.
BOOTHE: May be a discounted price.
WATTERS: That's right, that's right. I'd try anything.
WILLIAMS: So I've got to -- I've got to find a way to get $800,000 by next year.
BOOTHE: You could do a GoFundMe campaign.
WILLIAMS: Because I can take the four space cadets that I would love to see go into --
WATTERS: Good one, Juan.
WILLIAMS: But I must say, so --
GUTFELD: It's very mean to say that about "The View."
WILLIAMS: Jesse, you got it. I was thinking, oh, you mean, you actually go into outer space. But actually, you don't. You just go a couple miles. I think it's, like, 60 miles up.
BOOTHE: That makes it less scary.
WILLIAMS: Then you get to see the curvature of the earth. The scary part, Lisa, was then they drop you with a parachute. You don't land.
PERINO: No thanks.
WATTERS: You splash into the ocean?
WILLIAMS: Yes, but you've got a parachute on you. I think that's what happens.
BOOTHE: Dana, so the big problem here is there is polling on this. And, like, 58 percent of Americans are like, "This is too scary. I don't want to do this." I mean, how do they change these numbers?
PERINO: I think partly, as Greg was saying earlier, that people look at new technologies and they're usually wrong initially. You think, "Well, I'll never do that. That was true of bicycles and vehicles, like actual cars. And now we have driverless cars. We're starting to get a little more comfortable with that idea.
WATTERS: People were afraid of bicycles?
WILLIAMS: Oh, yes.
GUTFELD: They called them the two-wheeled murderer.
BOOTHE: I don't know. I fell off one when I first tried riding bike.
GUTFELD: But you got back up on it.
PERINO: They thought that people were going to get hurt, that it was going to cause problems. Yes, like, everything that's new takes a while to get used to.
GUTFELD: A pencil sharpener. People were scared to death of it. People were using it incorrectly.
WATTERS: The electric pencil sharpener?
BOOTHE: Real quick, so we've got a no?
BOOTHE: Jesse, yes.
WILLIAMS: I'm sending you guys.
WATTERS: I'll borrow your tin foil hat.
BOOTHE: I think I'm too much of a chicken for this. Maybe --
PERINO: I'll watch the video.
BOOTHE: I'll cheer other people on.
All right. Well, stay tuned, because "One More Thing" is coming up next, and you're not going to want to miss it.
GUTFELD: All right. "One More Thing" -- Juan.
WILLIAMS: Well, you know, I'm just back from the Major League Baseball all-star game.
I want to tell you: take a look at my new personal baseball card. Yes, that's me right there with Sean Doolittle of the Nationals. And here I am with J.T. Realmuto of Miami, their all-star catcher.
But the big personal drama came when I was on the field. Take a look behind me if you will. You see those dark clouds? I just made it to the Nationals dugout before the rains came, but then came the deluge. It was an epic rain. For an hour, a hard rain, and as you can see, it flooded the dugout and stranded our TV crew in there. We couldn't get out.
But then the sun came out, and the all-stars put on their own thunder and lightning show. Eight home runs. What a great time.
WILLIAMS: The whole package tomorrow. Greg, I'm going to have a whole package on this.
GUTFELD: Excellent. We shall look forward to it.
PERINO: We will. All right, so I have a podcast, too. It's called "I'll Tell You What." I do have Chris Stirewalt, and that hasn't -- there's a new one up today so you can listen to that.
And his two young boys have asked a favor of "The Five." So I said that, OK, we will give it a shot. They recently watched a -- "Field of Dreams," and they loved the movie. They love baseball. They went to the homerun derby. And they say that this mystery of who the voice is that says this, listen.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: If you build it, he will come.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: So apparently, there's a big mystery as to who that voice actually is. For a long time, Ray Liotta was the leading contender among fans, but in 2014, D.P. Kinsella -- the was the author -- suggested Ed Harris but admitted that was just based on rumors.
So the boys want to know who actually is the voice that says, "If you build it, they will come."
GUTFELD: Lou Dobbs.
BOOTHE: A creepy voice.
PERINO: Mystery solved, Lou Dobbs. OK.
GUTFELD: Lou Dobbs.
PERINO: If you really know, tweet me. We'll figure it out.
GUTFELD: All right. I also have a podcast. It's with Daniela Greenbaum. She was involved in a big controversy when she was forced to resign -- no, not forced to resign, she resigned from her columnist spot at Business Insider. You're going to want to find out why she resigned. It's very interesting.
Now it's time for this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GRAPHIC: Greg's Cable News
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: "Greg's Cable News." Well, I decided to get up really early and watch a show called "Morning Joe." And this is me. I often film myself while watching other shows.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(FERRET FALLING ASLEEP WHILE SITTING UP)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: And I was just -- it's a very slow-moving show. And I just tried to stay awake, because Mika just prattles on, and Joe just sits there looking like Joe. And I just kept -- I was up again. Up again. They have an interview with somebody, and then I was like almost there. There she goes again, and then I'm just out, almost out. And then, ahhh.
WATTERS: Do these people ever respond to you, or do they just ignore you?
GUTFELD: They ignore me.
WATTERS: Probably wise.
GUTFELD: All right. To you, Jesse.
WATTERS: I don't have a podcast, but I have this. There is a new "Guinness Book of World Records," which has been shattered by this guy. He slices watermelons on his stomach with a machete.
WATTERS: And he crushed it. He sliced 26.
WILLIAMS: My God.
BOOTHE: Why would you do that?
WATTERS: There wasn't even a "Guinness Book of World Record" for this. He suggested it to Guinness, and they said, "Sure, why not?" And he has another record.
PERINO: This is so dumb.
GUTFELD: Do you think this is some kind of turn on?
GUTFELD: I'm going to turn it into a world record thing, but it's actually a fetish.
WATTERS: You think he likes that? In a sexual way?
WATTERS: I'm not so sure, Greg. On another topic for your podcast.
BOOTHE: All right. Moving on.
Full disclosure, I'm a senior fellow for the Independent Women's Voice. They do pay me, but I'm doing this on my own volition.
So they're watching Champion Woman. Far too often, you often see voices on the right get shut down. There's a lot of name calling. You see that with people like Sarah Huckabee Sanders. So they are watching Champion Woman, where they're encouraging people across different ideologies and partisanship to respect each other, to not criticize each other in that way, to promote each other's success and to cheer each other on, so it's a good thing. www.ChampionWoman.com.
GUTFELD: I'm against that.
BOOTHE: You want it to be all women?
GUTFELD: I want to be on record to be against something everybody is for.
WILLIAMS: Wait a second --
BOOTHE: It doesn't happen every day.
WILLIAMS: That's true. I can testify.
GUTFELD: That is true.
WILLIAMS: Can I join or is it only women?
BOOTHE: I can't answer that.
WATTERS: Juan wants to join because it's just women.
WILLIAMS: That could be.
GUTFELD: Oh, my goodness. Terrible.
WATTERS: I respect your disclosure of your financial status. Very respectable.
BOOTHE: Coming from you.
GUTFELD: Terrible man. He's a terrible, terrible man.
All right. We've got to move on. Never miss an episode of "The Five." If you want news with great hair, here's our guy, Bret Baier.
Where is Bret? There he is.
BRET BAIER, FOX NEWS: I don't have a podcast either. Thanks, Greg.
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