This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 14, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Greg Gutfeld along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Bob Beckel, Jesse Watters and she kayaks in a tea pot, it's Dana Perino, this is "The Five."
As war and pestilence rage, what's the White House up to? It's not ISIS, it's ice flows.
Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel just released his department's global warming plan and he goes full-Gore, saying -- quote -- "Climate change is a long-term trend, but with wise planning and risk mitigation now, we can reduce adverse impacts downrange."
This would be fine if these people could multitask, but they can't even single task. So here we are ducking real danger to chase an easier unknown. This on the heels of a major study showing that we've greatly overestimated how much greenhouse gas is left in the atmosphere.
Now we already know the climate change has paused the last 18 years, so the more unsettled the science, the more fervent this politicized fear. And the only things heating up these days are the priests of planetary panic.
Look, I'm all for saving the Earth, but it's easier to tackle climate change than urgent evil. Consider these major threats: ISIS, Ebola, Putin and why were they missed. Since Mr. Obama prefers world concern over America's enemies, climate change became the life preserver for every Obama flack. So he's flanked by appeasers who knew for career survival to focus on our internal flaws, identity, gluttony, energy, not terror or security.
It's two sides of a dreary coin called "American Derangement Syndrome." Lost in our own self-loathing we missed those who truly hate us. No wonder we're vulnerable, because we chose our navels over our navy.
So basically -- Jesse, I'm going to state the obvious, I think you know, it's good to be concerned about the planet, but it's easier to be concerned about the planet and scold skeptics who confront evil and want to fight war instead.
JESSE WATTERS, GUEST CO-HOST: It's very convenient for them to pull us off at this time. I don't understand, climate change creates terrorism, last time I checked, all the terrorists came from a desert. OK, it's very hot there and it's been hot there for hundreds of years, I don't think the terrorists care too much that it's really hot. But -- I think the main point is what they're saying is, blame America, because it is we're burning fossil fuels, we're creating a terrorism, it's not the terrorist fault, it's our fault. So it's -- we want to kill terrorist, we should all
(inaudible) just go green and the problem solved, but the president has a history of politicizing these departments. Remember, NASA was supposed to be for Muslim outreach, remember that? The IRS targeting conservatives, NSA going after Fox news, what I'm worried about though, is why is Hagel in Peru in the middle of a war talking about the ocean? And you know, what's going on here and why is Susan Rice out there doing the Sunday shows.
GUTFELD: It makes no sense.
GUTFELD: Jesse makes a good point that -- I think they liked -- they're almost more interested in finding a root cause for terror than the actual cause we know to be true. So instead of saying, "OK, radical Islam is the reason why there is terror", they rather say, "It's the fact that -- you know, we use coals."
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Right, so that -- they don't get to the root cause.
PERINO: Of the problem. And Twitter is a very unsatisfying way to govern.
Now I can understand it helps the young people love it.
PERINO: They see a tweet like, "Climate change, oh yeah good, they're good, oh yeah, good, good and it's like the -- you know squirrels in a disco ballroom.
PERINO: It's like a raccoon in a room full of disco balls, have you heard that?
PERINO: I do have a good point, though.
PERINO: The administration admitted today that they are holding their -- the president's nominee for attorney general until after the midterms, because they're worried about some sort of political thing. Why then, don't they have the presence of mind to say, "No, why don't we hold on to this little climate thing for a couple of weeks." Why couldn't they do that?
Because actually climate, they think works in a political favor of good attorney general who would call balls and strikes as he sees it, it's not working their favor and their opinion.
Also in the Chuck Hagel point, whatever happened to the Chuck Hagel of 1997, when he was the senator of Nebraska, his sponsor was Robert -- the late Robert Byrd. The Byrd-Hagel resolution which basically said, America will not be held to any sort of Kyoto standard that I want to do, unless China, India and the other major developing economies in the world, have to do it as well. So if -- Chuck Hagel for 1997, it was more worried about China as a senator than he is worried about China as secretary of defense, which I think is strange.
GUTFELD: Yeah, because -- well, it's about his job. It's about the piece -- President Obama picked him because he knew he would do what president Obama wanted, that's my feeling. I want to throw to a tweet, Kimberly, this is from a fan. And that was interesting that the -- this is what she had to say, I think this crystallize it perfectly, "Imagine being a Kurd waiting for airstrikes to save their lives and then seeing a tweet sent out from Obama on climate change, #TheFive", that's important. Isn't that a problem here, its priorities?
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Yeah, it would be OK if we were in the seventh grade and this is what like, the weird kid in the back road that was distracted and not paying attention, with thinking he was in art class and it was actually reading class, but it's not. This is his administration that seems to completely lose focus, they have massive political ADD. So instead of focusing on ISIS and the incredible holds that they are making in strike, taking over territory in Iraq, in Syria, the beheadings, the mass murderers, the -- you know, inflaming (ph) of women, the marrying and taking 8-year-old girl and saying that it is still right under their religion, to be able to put them in this force marriages. Why are they so distracted and they cannot focus on what's going on in the world, it's on fire and they want to talk about ice cubes.
GUTFELD: Bob, I think you said earlier today that you have a fact for us, now we're looking forward to this. I'm shocked.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: That's not very nice to say it.
GUTFELD: Well, think of the world's concerns, take priority over American security then you seem no problem with what they're doing?
BECKEL: No, no, no. Listen -- you know we -- we just set a fundamental difference on this. I happen to think that climate change is much more important than ISIS, much more.
GUILFOYLE: And china?
BECKEL: The China?
GUILFOYLE: Yeah, you're always talking about China.
BECKEL: Yeah, in a long run I think it probably is. I mean look, you have your facts, we got our facts on our side and we're a lot more to do but that's all right. We're not going to agree on this. It's not worth arguing about anymore.
GUTFELD: But it is worth arguing.
WATTERS: You said ISIS is more of a threat -- you said climate change is more of a threat than ISIS?
BECKEL: Sure, by far.
WATTERS: When has climate change beheaded anybody?
BECKEL: Well, you know there's been typhoons and tornadoes and.
BECKEL: Yeah, that's right.
GUTFELD: There weren't any climate scientists don't say that.
BECKEL: All right. If you -- you know we still argue about it, but it is just what I have to believe and I have right to believe it.
GUTFELD: Right to believe that. So would you say it's more like a faith?
BECKEL: A faith? No, not at all, listen there are so many more people around the world who believe that climate change is a threat than you all.
GUTFELD: So that's the -- is that called -- is the really -- is that called the fact and where did you get that fact?
BECKEL: I was not talking about fact in this segment, another segment we're talking about. And by the way, I will bring you in tomorrow a fact, I'll show you that ISIS now has less territory than they did two weeks ago.
WATTERS: Are being slaughter and they worried about climate change? Are they worried about it?
BECKEL: Jesse, I don't think they probably do sit back and worry about it.
But do you worry about it?
WWATTERS: I actually like to think about global warming, I think it will help works on my tan. You know, I like it when.
BECEKLE: It doesn't work if that's what you suggested. Jesse, let me put this way, I think that -- you know, you go to these beaches with your tennis shirt on and you have this five day to cactus (ph) tell about the people about infectious, go ask them about climate change see if they.
WATTERS: I will and I have, and they have no idea what's going on either and you kind of sound jealous that you want to come with me to the beach.
BECKEL: I'd love to.
PERINO: Oh my God, that would be -- that would be -- that would be gold, please, please make that happen.
BECKEL: I'd love to.
GUILFOYLE: I have to cover my face.
PERINO: Will O'Reilly approve that?
WATTERS: I don't think so, I would approve that.
GUTFELD: I think Bob which show can start this.
PERINO: Do you think it's going to cramp your style?
WATTERS: I don't know the girls might run in the other direction.
GUTFELD: All right. And Dana, try and come up with something interesting to say at this point.
PERINO: OK. I am -- I am not against the department of defense doing long- range planning as they.
PERINO: OK. Because they have to spin multiple plates at the same time and that means spinning is like make up things.
PERINO: I mean that if there just -- they have a lot of thing that they have to deal with all at once, and long-range planning is critically important for the world, I'm for that. But when the defense department says that ISIS is the worst terror threat that the world has ever seen.
PERINO: It does stand to reason that that should be the priority, I don't think that unreasonable. But also, to Bob's point about most people in the world think that climate change is the biggest issue that's' actually -- I think the most people in the world are worried about where they're going to get their next meal.
PERINO: And also the fact that they don't have electricity which means that they can't read, they can't educate their children, they are dying because of, as you point it out, the way that they have to fuel their lives and with.
GUTFELD: Coal would save millions of lives.
PERINO: Coal will save things. And also we suppose to facilitate growth. I think the most important thing here that we missed on this climate change debate is the economic growth will actually fill the chances for us to find alternatives that are more affordable and they could be widespread and said thankful.
BECKEL: Just for the record, I did not stay that it was the number one issue. I said more people believe a climate change is a problem and I think that's right.
GUILFOYLE: Just fact-check yourself.
PERINO: He fact-check me.
BECKEL: I fact-check Dana.
GUTFELD: But I'd like to see the stands for that. This is President Obama, I have an -- sound on tape here, with military leaders today talking about the long term campaign. Please now.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: So far we've seen some important successes, stopping ISIL's advance on our bill, saving many civilians from (inaudible) retaking the most of them, destroying ISIL targets and fighters across Iraq and Syria, we're still at the early stages. As with any military effort, there will be days of progress and that there are going to be periods of setback.
(END OF VIDE CLIP)
GUTFELD: So Kimberly, ISIL's ability either ISIS's ability or ice-ice, as I like to call them, to project power is -- is to terrorize with small numbers. It's their brutality and their will that is driving them. Compare that to, say, our will or President Obama's will or President Obama's tweeting. You see the difference?
GUILFOYLE: Yeah. I -- I agree, and just listen to the tone I mean, I get more emotions out of my, you know, average book on tape. It's just this story of relaxing low, put you to sleep like what's going on? Things this are high stakes, this -- I think it's the greatest terror threat that we have faith. Because they have now sharpened themselves, their tools, their reset -- sources, they have the van. This isn't some rogue group from the middle ages, even though they behave in that way, the savage way. They have the weapon, they have the sophistication and God, do they where the wherewithal.
BECKEL: The -- just to make a point, It is did start in the middle ages with the religions that they follow. I care about this guys is so brutal that they broke often. Now one of the reasons that the world is trying to focus on this is -- is because of these beheadings, because of the way they're -- the kind of outrageous behavior they have got is what galvanized in the world. I think that's probably the single biggest thing -- we saw that beheading, then the world start to come around. And I --and so the.
GUILFOYLE: But that's who they are.
BECKEL: Well, yeah. But listen, you're dealing -- I'm not going to defend Obama as a war president in every set of word. He is a reluctant president when it comes to this war.
GUTFELD: He is reluctant.
PERINO: I think every president is reluctant to go to war.
BECKLE: Well, yeah, yup, maybe he's a little less but more reluctant.
PERINO: More reluctant.
WATTERS: When Jimmy Carter says you're too soft, you kind have a problem.
BECKEL: Well, you know the set of commander runs the military -- our military in that part of the world, it start about Jimmy Carter.
WATTERS: OK, great wartime President Jimmy Carter. Actually he was the only one.
BECKEL: We -- is actually it was Jimmy Carter who was the one who developed the missile in Europe that went a long way to getting the Russians to decide.
WATTERS: So Jimmy Carter won the cold war. You heard it here first.
BECKEL: No, is that would be ridiculous to say -- if it ridiculous to say Ronald Reagan did.
WATTER: Then Ronald Reagan did not have any to do with that?
BECKEL: He has something to do with it not much.
WATTERS: Really? Because (inaudible) actually said that it was because Reagan.
BECKEL: Yeah. The --
GUILFOYLE: And to that guy.
BECKEL: I think there was combination of people who led to the fall of Soviet Union and it's not a political partisan issue, as you guys try to make it. Do not give that to Ronald Reagan a lot of people put a lot of blood on the floor.
WATTER: You're right. You are absolutely right Bob.
GUILFOYLE: And Ronald Reagan is the type or president who would never try and take the credit himself. Leader.
GUTFELD: All right, but we leave here about the past. My own point is so secretary of defense should be secretary of defense not Rachel Carlson (ph) or ugona (ph)
New developments on the Ebola threat, including some calls for the director of the CDC to resign, what major call actually. And later is politics behind the army's decision not to release the results of the completed Bowe Bergdahl investigation coming up.
PERINO: So far the government is not considering a travel ban to deal what the Ebola crisis, making the case it could make the problem worse. But according to a new poll, the majority of Americans support the idea 67 percent says they back restricting entry the travelers from West African nations with Ebola epidemic. Charles Krauthammer said, "It's going to happen."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Were going to have a travel ban, if this -- the patient who arrived off Liberia, are off the West Coast is indeed Ebola or even when the next patients happens. There is no reason why we should still be flying, Air France, British Air has canceled, these things are going to have the be done and they're going to be done soon.
(END OF VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Peter Johnson, Jr. however is cautious about changing the policy.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PETER JOHNSON, JR., FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: What is the science behind not being for a travel ban, Dr. Frieden has the CDC written on that for Fox news. He said, "It cannot stop spread, will only slow it." He said, "It's only going to drive patients with Ebola underground making difficult to address the outbreak." Let's look at it in a dispassion, objective way, not to scandalize, not to stigmatize the West African countries, but to do what's best to protect them.
(END OF VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Someone who is not passionate last night on this topic of Dr.
Frieden in particular, Bill O'Reilly.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DR. TOM FRIEDEN, CDC DIRECTOR: At this point, the team has identified 76 individuals who --
BILL O'REILLY, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Not being forthcoming about how the disease is being spread. Frieden should resign.
What do we want puppet out there for a resign, have a little dignity Frieden, have a little dignity, you're misleading the American public.
(END OF VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: So Bill O'Reilly so it said -- Jesse that I'm going to go with you first because Bill O'Reilly actually -- he called for Frieden to resign, I'm not sure if that's the right move, because we need like a head guy in charge, he has lost confidence.
WATTERS: Obviously he's lost confidence. You know, Bill likes to call for people to resign almost immediately. I think it's probably.
GUILFOYLE: And it is the working.
WATTERS: I -- can imagine that. I think the probably that's going to happen is going to be a few more people to die from Ebola in the United States before this guy resigns. But the president won't fire him and you know why, because he doesn't want to be held accountable with would make a mistake. He let Shinseki (ph) hang out there for awhile and people were dying in the hospitals. Civilians over sold tobacco in the Obamacare Web site and she's around the secret service, director was there after the prostitution scandal. This guy's not going anywhere for right now, what struck me is was he said you know, "We need to rethink our strategy." Yeah, no, you need to rethink the strategy, that's what we pay you to do you're a public servant. He's not serving the public right now.
PERINO: I did -- Bob that was interesting that -- that after being so black and white last week.
PERINO: Dr. Frieden saying, "We've got this under control, we know what we're doing, no need to worry." Then we have unfortunately, a nurse who is recovering hopefully, in the hospital. She said she was doing well, her name is Nina Pham, she was a caretaker, she says she followed the protocol, that's why Dr. Frieden says we're going to have to rethink things. How much do you think this hurts the whole -- the entire effort to try to contain the epidemic, I mean it's not a widespread situation here in the United States, are we over -- overblowing it?
BECKEL: Yes, I think we are. And by the way, Bill O'Reilly being an expert on what should happen with the CDC is laughable. And also Dr. Manny he knows the doctor -- it doesn't -- I don't guess he's had many Ebola cases.
I don't think Frieden -- I think Frieden is adjusting to the reality of the politics of it. I don't think this a guy who used to get in front of a press conference. And yes, he speaks in black and white, but now he's realizing this thing is sort of getting now to become so much of -- people are exaggerating it so much that he needs to deal with that. I don't know why he's got any evidence as to why he should be gone, I really don't and by the travel ban -- by the way, it was nice to see Charles Krauthammer getting on air, it's been so long. The --but I agree with him on this. I don't understand why it's got 65 people who been exposed is a 21 day period when you could get or not get Ebola. Why not put a ban on it so those days are over and then you probably won't have another case here.
PERINO: Well, good question. And Greg let me then take it to the next level, which is President Obama today, in his press conference earlier today when he took questions. He said that, "The world has a whole is not doing enough to contain the epidemic." But the world is not going to do anything. The United States has to lead, right?
GUITFELD: Pretty much -- pretty yes. I as always, that's the great thing is the evil -- we're the evil -- the great evil country, but we're the only people that can actually save lives.
GUILFOYLE: We're the doers.
GUTFELD: We're the doers. It's not about panic anymore, I think what -- O'Reilly was getting at was priorities. We feel as if the leader -- our leaders have taken their eye off the ball then perhaps, the training and the resources the money that was needed for that, had gone to other more politically favored ideas, like obesity and education on how evil smoking is, things like that that we need. How do you untangle politics from morality when politics is your morality, all of Obama's appointments and actions are political which explain the lock step.
So this isn't really a White House, it's a sit in. And I think the reason why people are depressed and a bit worried is they can't trust anybody. And the reason why they can't trust anybody is because the media has enabled to flip it arrogance to block them in a way like a virus, their carelessness spread like a disease.
GUTFELD: Yeah, but you know the thing is, it used to be one person or somebody that was apolitical that you could trust, but the problem is nobody trusts anybody here. And by the way, I'm not an alarmist about this disease and I remain confident that this will be taken care of, the fact that the person who caught the disease was a health care worker and not just a roving citizen in Dallas. Because remember, Mr. Duncan was out in the street, getting sick and no stranger got sick. It was the person that was closes to him that got sick. So that's an encouraging -- actually believe or not, tragic but encouraging sign. But I think is the people cannot identify with this identity -- this White House.
PERINO: Kimberly, let me get you in here, Peter Johnson Jr., one of the things he said this morning is that, the concern is that, "if you did a travel ban, it could increase the distrust of government and make countries less likely to cooperate in stopping the spread." I'm kind of persuaded by that.
GUILFOYLE: Why is that though? I mean, I think it's in the abundance of caution, why not also employ containment. And until we can help them and they need help and we should step up and do it. And attack the disease right there at the epicenter. We can't wait for other people to do it, this guy over here, this guy over here, because it's not going to get done -- won't get done correctly. We do have the best minds of scientists and resources in the world at our disposal, so go there, attack it aggressively, but in the meantime, seal it off. Why would u even take the chance, especially when we were so certain that this wasn't going to be a contracted by this health care workers, they had on protective measures. I at least want to learn more, I want to have an open mind about it, yes, trust people that we have in charge, but come on, there is a lot of this and we're not 100 percent certain about. And it's a little disconcerting that the one guy that's saving the America from the bullet is Dr. Kent Brantly, every time he gives the transfusion.
PERINO: The one who is -- he was.
GUILFOYLE: That contracted it, receives the -- the serum and then now have the anti-bodies built up in his system.
PERINO: That he travel to Nebraska and Texas.
GUILFOYLE: You have to match his blood type.
GUTFELD: Why does the travel ban have to be all or nothing? I don't understand that.
GUILFOYLE: It's not.
GUTFELD: I mean, just let medical personnel.
PERINO: Excuse me for the little tickle in my throat. Ahead on "The Five," the government still says the reported shooting was an act of workplace violence. But then Nidal Hassan, own attorney said that it when Jihad.
You're going to hear from him next.
GUILFOYLE: Well, he is self describe soldier of Allah. Nidal Hasan readily admitted to committing the massacre at Fort Hood in order to protect the Taliban. But government still labels the attack, an act of workplace violence rather than one over terror. Even his own lawyer, can't understand why.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(UNKNOWN): I don't know why they come up with the term workplace violence.
The workplace violence is not the crime for which he was charged. Nidal Hassan was charged with mass murder.
(UNKNOWN): Not terrorism.
(UNKNOWN): No, and they could have elected to have proceed along that line but the government chose not to.
(END OF VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: He is also certain. This was an act of Jihad.
(BEGIN VDIEO CLIP)
MEGYN KELLY, THE KELLY FILE SHOW HOST: Is there any doubt in your mind that this is something who believes in the Jihad?
(UNKNOWN): Will be practically say that correct, yes.
KELLY: OK. And the judge shut that down. And the question I have for you is, why then to the day -- to this day does the government deny that this was Jihad, that it was terror?
(UNKNOWN): I simply can't answer that.
KELLY: Has he expressed any remorse to you ever?
(UNKNOWN): I can't stay that it was remorse in the traditional sense. I think he feels that he didn't accomplish what he believed.
(END OF VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: All right, what does this tell you, Jesse, that the country, government, administration is afraid of words?
WATTERS: Yes, they are. It is terrorism. That means that there was a domestic terror attack on the homeland under Obama's watch, and that means he'll suffer politically for that. So they call it workplace violence.
You know how insane that is, workplace violence? You know how stupid he must think Americans are to buy that and how easily manipulated the American media is to not even question it? Has a reporter ever asked the president, "Workplace violence? You got to be kidding me, right?"
Instead, they ask him things like, you know, "How enchanting do you find the office?" Do you remember that one? It's totally insane.
It also, when you say workplace violence, it sanitizes the Muslim connection. So you don't want to blame it on Allah. You don't want to blame it on jihad. Because this guy's totally in bed with al Qaeda. We have evidence of that. He admits it. So right, exactly. So he doesn't want to offend Muslims, so he calls it workplace violence. It's absolutely insane.
GUILFOYLE: No one's being fooled.
WATTERS: No, no.
GUILFOYLE: Even the defendant's attorney, Dana, or Greg.
GUTFELD; Or me. That would be the equivalent of calling a beheading a migraine.
And this fear of identifying evil is the culmination of four decades of emasculating political correctness. The idea that you cannot call a thing
-- call something what it is for fear of offending somebody. This has festered on campuses, Bob, forever.
GUTFELD: And now it infects the body politics of the greatest country ever.
BECKEL: Every campus in America? I think you should shut the damn things down.
GUTFELD: And it might be the only thing that could cause our downfall, because these tenured twerps have made it impossible for us to identify the very thing that wants us to be destroyed.
GUILFOYLE: All right, Dana. Why this loose relationship with the rhetoric? Why can't they call it what it is?
PERINO: I would like to -- I was just thinking, I would love to actually one day, hopefully, the person who made that final decision to call it workplace violence, I would love to get their side of the story.
I think it's very interesting, Kimberly, and I have a question for you about this, is that so that's a heck of an interview that Megyn Kelly got with this lawyer. The trial hasn't even happened yet. How unusual is that for the lawyer to come on and basically say it was jihad, it wasn't workplace violence. And how does that affect the political?
GUILFOYLE: He can't believe, doesn't have an explanation for why they called it workplace violence? I can't believe he gave the interview. I'm impressed. I'm glad he did, because we got some insight there that really further exposes the truth and the hypocrisy. I mean, he has his reasons why he thinks it's OK to go ahead and do that. But nevertheless, usually, you hold off until the case has been completely resolved and adjudicated before you go out and speak.
BECKEL: It sounded to me like he...
PERINO: He might have a personal agenda.
GUILFOYLE: No, he didn't. Oh, how refreshing. Honesty.
BECKEL: It seems like he was setting up for the guy who was a religious fanatic on this stuff, and that may save him from the death penalty. But the mass murder charges are -- it's harder. Obviously, somebody decided it's harder to convict this guy on terrorism laws than it is on mass murder, which would be a lot easier to do, and he will be convicted and he probably will be put to death. But I think you've got to be careful about criticizing. Maybe only criticize the use of words, but maybe not the particular law that they're charging him with.
GUILFOYLE: I have another legal update, because those of you at home who have been following the Sergeant Bowe Bergdahl case, you know that, in fact, the investigation has been concluded, but we haven't been able to get the results.
And of course, they have the majority of the information. Back in 2009 when he deserted and they conducted an investigation, that was a full, thorough investigation and talking to all the people that were involved and there were witnesses at the time. Now they've had the chance to speak to them, Greg, and in fact, still they're delaying this. What's going on?
GUTFELD: It wouldn't be so weird, if it wasn't a practice of them always holding stuff back until post-election. They're like -- the White House is like a guy who waits until he's in the elevator to break wind. And it's just too late for anybody to do anything after that.
GUTFELD: They always wait until the election is over. And then, boom, the stench is horrifying. Then that's when you hear about -- you hear about all the horrible things, whether it's Benghazi or whether it's the IRS.
GUILFOYLE: Right. Because midterm elections are coming up.
GUTFELD: It's an apt metaphor, Bob.
WATTERS: It's a masterful P.R. move, and they've done this repeatedly.
They say, "We're going to have this internal investigation. We're not going to comment on this investigation until the investigation is finished."
It takes two seconds to prove this thing, OK? The guy was traded (ph). We know he's a deserter and that he endangered our men and women's lives in Afghanistan, because these guys are going to go back to the battlefield.
And they're going to dump this thing on a Friday, when no one's paying attention. It's going to be totally whitewashed.
WATTERS: And everybody knows it.
GUILFOYLE: Well, because the results might show that he was a deserter or he went AWOL. And boy, is that really going to look bad, because not -- we didn't just get him back. We gave up a lot to do it. Terrorists.
BECKEL: That may be the case. And probably, there's a lot of stuff in there that probably would be embarrassing. And when I call, I would do exactly the same thing.
GUILFOYLE: Of course you would.
PERINO: I would not.
PERINO: I would not, because I would have some honor and dignity and say, "Let's just get it out there."
BECKEL: Oh, you got that one.
PERINO: It is a shot. It is a shot. Because, you know, we're talking about people's lives. That's the president's majority in the Senate. How he thinks it would even help him or hurt him, I don't understand why he cares. They worry more about climate change than they do about this.
The Department of Defense has said that Bowe Bergdahl investigation is done on their end. So where -- what could possibly be the holdup? Where is it?
In addition to that, not only do the families deserve justice, but remember, he is -- he stands to get hundreds of thousands of dollars back pay...
PERINO: ... if it's found that he wasn't a deserter. If it wasn't a dessert, can we just find that out? But why are we holding it back?
BECKEL: You suggested Republicans have not held things back or held things up.
PERINO: You said -- you said, "If it were me, I would do it."
I said if I were me I would not.
GUILFOYLE; But it doesn't change the fact of the matter. Democrat, Republican, whatever, be about the truth, be about transparency. The American people are paying and footing the bill, so give us the information immediately.
Next Hillary Clinton got big bucks to give a speech last night for a university in Nevada, and wait until you hear what the speech was about.
WATTERS: When it comes to playing politics, no one quite does it as well as the Clintons. Last night at a fundraiser for UNLV, Hillary spoke passionately about her higher education costs.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
HILLARY CLINTON, FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE: Higher education shouldn't be a privilege for those able to afford it. It should be an opportunity widely available for anyone with the talent, determination and ambition to learn.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: What she failed to mention was her speaking fee for the event was a cool $225,000. While the money will supposedly go to the Clinton Global Initiative, it still ignites a debate over what some see as hypocrisy in the Democrat politics, hypocrisy which Jon Stewart points out, extends to the party's fundraising prowess.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JON STEWART, HOST, COMEDY CENTRAL'S "THE DAILY SHOW": Recently the Democrats' reticence for fundraising was truly on display.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: President Obama headed to his 53rd fund-raiser of the year at Gwyneth Paltrow's house.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Tonight the president will attend the fundraiser for the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, or the DSCC, at the home of real-estate mogul Rich Richmond.
You know, it might not be the best way to send a message about their contempt for money in politics with back to back fund-raisers from the homes of Lady Goop and literally, a man named Richie Rich.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: So let's be honest here. Hillary was dead broke just a few years ago. She really needed the money. She's a grandmother now, you know?
She's got to pay the bills. College tuition is going to be very expensive when her grandchild turns 18. Bob, what do you think about all this?
BECKEL: You know, I was -- you'll be shocked to know that I actually read my research for the show this morning. You know what I read? What I read was our staff put together a lot of newspaper headlines and right-wing blogs saying Hillary takes this $225,000 away from University of Nevada, Las Vegas.
The fact is -- the fact is not a single dime from that university went to her. It was through the foundation by two of the biggest contributors to the Clintons. They paid for it. They had nothing to do with UNLV. But, of course, the conservatives in the right wing are spreading around, oh, she took all this money from the university, because -- and now look, these poor kids can't have the money. It's ridiculous and typical right-wing crap.
WATTERS: SO She's not going to use any of that money?
BECKEL: No. I think she's going to give it to the global initiative.
Don't -- and I would not down the global initiative. It does some pretty good things.
WATTERS: OK. Kimberly...
GUILFOYLE: Yes, but they're taking it. It's still their umbrella foundation.
BECKEL: Exactly. So what.
GUILFOYLE: If you're that concerned about the high price of education in America, why not make significant moves by making a donation to show that you, in fact, are concerned about it?
BECKEL: I would tell you this, because I try to be nice to you. They do more in a week for helping people then, frankly, a lot of us do.
GUILFOYLE: I didn't say that. I wasn't making that kind of judgment about whether or not they do other things. I'm saying in this specific instance, this was an example for them to show leadership and make a contribution.
WATTERS: Let me ask you this, Greg. Isn't it a cheap shot for Republicans to complain that Hillary is banking all this dough? I mean, it's a free market.
WATTERS: She's getting what she's worth out there. You know, maybe she's going to squirrel it away for a rainy day?
GUTFELD: I agree, because -- but as a Republican conservative libertarian, you have no qualm about anybody getting rich. You want everybody to be rich.
Which makes you difference from Hillary because she fronts a mob that's -- of the aggrieved and envious who believe tethering achievers is a way to create a false sense of equality, amongst others.
She's so rich now she can wear a pants suit made of Faberge eggs. Which means that she's basically a poster child for political profiteering.
You know, they say they want to -- they want to get into politics to help.
But it's always, at the end of the tenure, to help themselves, to get a paltry salary, but then, when they get out of office, it's eight, it's ten, it's nine -- you know, nine figures.
BECKEL: It's all Democrats and Republicans, I might add, cash in.
GUTFELD: Yes, but politics -- politics is Power Ball lotto for liberals.
BECKEL: And not conservatives? The conservatives take no money when they get out.
GUTFELD: You know what? But they don't lie about it.
BECKEL: Yes, they do all the time. Come on.
GUTFELD: We don't think it's bad. We want you to be rich.
BECKEL: Listen, you guys accept the fact that politics...
GUTFELD: You guys don't -- you guys don't want anybody to be rich but you. You just want the liberals to be rich.
BECKEL: No, no, no, that's wrong. Greg, I hope you get rich, I really do.
GUTFELD: I hope I get as rich as Rich Richmond.
BECKEL: And then I think the idea of this hypocrisy, jump on them about making more.
WATTERS: Let me ask you about what Jon Stewart said, because he does have a point. I mean, I'm sure you donate, right? You get these e-mails. You have e-mail, Bob?
GUILFOYLE: He doesn't really check it.
WATTERS: OK. So you know, you're getting flooded -- it's like cyber bullying. They're flooding your inbox, harassing you to do it.
BECKEL: Under my contract, I can't give political money, so -- but I used to give it. Yes, they do. And the Democrats got very good at raising money and they raised it from the very people that they demonize. I understand what you're talking about, but at this stage of the game, in this campaign season, the only hope is to get as much money in these races as possible.
GUILFOYLE: And out and out spending.
WATTERS: And Republicans are getting crazed, Dana. What's going on here?
PERINO: Well, the stakes are high. And the Democrats realize that. And they've been able to raise a ton on the PACs. The thing I liked about John Stewart's point is the hypocrisy of demanding funding reform, or campaign finance reform, all at the same time beating Republicans in that game, and that does take a little bit of chutzpah.
GUILFOYLE: And they're beating them in some races, outspending 10-1 and 5- 1.
BECKEL: My career, they were outspending, the Republicans, 20-1.
WATTERS: Well, it just shows how desperate the Democrats have become.
All right. Coming up, we have all done it, made excuses to get out of something we're invited to. What are "The Five's" favorite escape lines?
You'll hear them next.
BECKEL: Have you ever failed to come up with a good so you don't have to hang out with someone? If not -- we'll say if so, Zach Galifianakis and Jimmy Fallon have some pointers.
JIMMY FALLON, HOST, NBC'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JIMMY FALLON": We should hang out soon.
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS, COMEDIAN/ACTOR: I'd like that, yes. How's Tuesday then?
FALLON: Catching up on "Law and Order."
GALIFIANAKIS: Which season?
FALLON: All of them. Never seen the show.
GALIFIANAKIS: Oh, you're going to have a blast.
FALLON: How about Wednesday at 4 a.m.?
GALIFIANAKIS: I can't on Wednesday. I'm braiding my landlord's hair. How about Thursday?
FALLON: I have to ride and elephant Thursday.
GALIFIANAKIS: November this year is a wash, because I've got to clone a bunch of dinosaurs and open a theme park, and then something terrible goes wrong and then you learn your lesson of being God. So November's no good.
FALLON: December I can't. I'm literally Santa Claus.
GALIFIANAKIS: That's you?
Why don't we just, like, maybe pencil something in for January 1, 2030?
FALLON: Sounds great.
GALIFIANAKIS: OK, have a good one.
BECKEL: All right. Greg, you're probably the most social person here at this table. What do you use to get out of invitations?
GUTFELD: I don't get out of them. If somebody invites me to a party, I say yes, and I go. I show up late, drunk as hell. I never leave. I throw up in their sink. I hit on the wife. I hit on the husband. I hit on the grandparents. I break a vase. Then, because I say yes, I'm never invited to anything again. And it spreads like a virus. Everybody knows never to invite me anywhere. So I never get asked to anything.
BECKEL: That's Greg.
Now Dana, you made the decision...
GUILFOYLE: She doesn't do that.
BECKEL: You made a decision not to accept, if I remember, baby showers or something?
PERINO: Yes, I don't do baby showers. This is a personal policy of mine, so that if a baby shower invitation comes, I just say, "Thank you very much. I'll send a gift, but I can't attend."
GUTFELD: You got hit by a baby once.
PERINO: More than once. I can't attend.
BECKEL: You just say, "I can't attend."
PERINO: I don't attend. Well, I won't attend -- it's a personal policy.
Like Stewart Varney, of FOX News, FOX Business, he says he does not socialize. I love that. So he has a personal policy. He never has this problem.
I originally told somebody I'm not coming to their party, because I don't like -- I don't like parties.
GUTFELD: You know what's the worst thing about a baby shower? The baby puddle.
BECKEL: You get -- you get asked out by a lot of SEALs.
GUILFOYLE: You know what?
BECKEL: Navy SEALs, what's your excuse when you say no?
GUILFOYLE: Obviously not. I'm just a nice person, and I say yes. And I get asked to do a lot of nice things.
BECKEL: You say yes to everyone.
GUILFOYLE: You know, charity events, et cetera, and then I feel horrible if I don't go or make the time. So I go out of my way. That's why I don't take any time off, just staying here and working and hanging out.
BECKEL: And you go with (UNINTELLIGIBLE).
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh.
BECKEL: Jesse, what's your excuse?
GUILFOYLE: I'm peeling my skin off.
BECKEL: What's your best excuse?
WATTERS: It's great working in the news business, because you can say, "I can't. Putin just invaded another country. We're going live tonight." And half the time that's true.
PERINO: Even if you're not on.
BECKEL: In my case, I don't get invited to anything so it's not a problem.
"One More Thing" is up next.
PERINO: Not true. You asked Jesse out.
GUTFELD: "One More Thing," Dana.
PERINO: So yesterday, you know I was going through this 24-36-hour cold, flu thing. It was really bad last night, and I was really -- it was a pitiful thing. I asked all of you for some help with some home remedies.
I just want to scroll through a few and mention weird stuff, some good stuff.
GUTFELD: Why'd you do that?
PERINO: "My mom cut onions in my socks in bed. Bit (ph) my fever, and I felt better. Go on a treadmill with -- sipping vodka. Lots of tequila and bourbon, cloves, oregano, rosemary, garlic, lemon, more bourbon, tequila.
GUILFOYLE: Love tequila.
PERINO: It just goes on and on. There were so many great suggestions, I took too many at once. Like the oregano spray and the elderberry syrup and the Aleve and the Zicam and the...
BECKEL: All the booze.
PERINO: ... vitamin C were too much. But I'm doing better.
GUILFOYLE: I think the...
GUTFELD: That's just the booze talking. Jesse.
WATTERS: OK. Well, I've been looking far and wide for this video.
Apparently, there's some really salacious Greg Gutfeld video that's been floating around the Internet. I got my hands on it. Here it is.
GUTFELD: That is me. I...
WATTERS: That's actually not Greg.
GUTFELD: That was last week.
WATTERS: Last week. That's actually Charlie from Tennessee, rocking and rolling in the comfort of his own home.
GUILFOYLE: He's amazing.
GUTFELD: He's going to be on "Dancing with the Stars" one of these days.
PERINO: Yes, he's good.
GUILFOYLE: No, he's really good.
BECKEL: Here goes my "one More thing." Those of you out there who think that Kimberly should accept my invitation today, please let us know. Thank you. We'll vote and we'll tally it up by Friday.
All right, now...
GUILFOYLE: Please don't vote for that!
BECKEL: This is actually an important day. Fifty years ago today, one of the greatest human beings in the world, my hero, Martin Luther King, was nominated and was endorsed and got the Nobel Peace Prize, and he deserved it very much. And I still miss him. Who's next?
GUTFELD: I am. You know, a lot of times I'll be hanging out in my penthouse apartment, usually in the hot tub, and people will say, hey, what does Bob Beckel do after work? And I'll say, "You know what? He loves to relax and just hang out." Here's some film with him.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh.
Oh, he's doing a howl.
GUTFELD: That is you.
BECKEL: Yes. Outside of apartment buildings. You used to -- you used to be able to -- you ever go through the foot, the big stage where you drive up to the apartment building, you flick your Bic and you get one back. You got hooked up.
GUTFELD: I have no idea, Bob.
PERINO: That's what they call Tinder now.
GUILFOYLE: Dana, I don't like when you...
PERINO: I don't really know what Tinder is. I've heard you guys talk about it.
GUTFELD: It's just wholesome.
GUILFOYLE: All right, in the happiness zone of proposals, those of you who like to get them. Uh-huh. An Air Force captain completed his successful mission in front of thousands of cheering NFL fans. On Sunday, he proposed to his girlfriend, who is a cheerleader, Claire Thornton -- she's 24 years old -- in front of the crowd, and the good news is she accepted.
PERINO: How can you say no?
GUILFOYLE: Look at how charming that is. It's so cute. He got down on one knee.
PERINO: That is cute.
GUTFELD: My theory is, if you ever have a divorce, you also have to do that in public.
GUILFOYLE: Can we also have a shout-out for "FOX & Friends" in the morning.
GUTFELD: Yes, you can. We'll edit it out, though. No one will know.
That's it for us. "Special Report" is up next.
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