Cavuto: The fat lecturing the fit



Picture it.

Same. Me. Spandex. Working it.

In a health club. As a trainer.

Now, ladies control yourselves.

And the rest of you, quit acting like you're going to vomit on yourselves.

It's as close an analogy as I can draw to this government crackdown on JPMorgan Chase...

The bank with the sloppy trade, now being likened to a sloppy mess. a government not exactly un-familiar with sloppy anything.

The government is "me" at the gym, playing "trainer" and barking orders.

And JPMorgan's the lean gym member, having to endure me, barking orders.

Think about that. Long and hard.

"Me," telling you, at a gym.... "speed it up."

That's what's going down here…

Government...the master of losing money...

Lecturing a financial firm that still makes lots of money.

The government, which goes through "trillions" and count account for it... Barking orders at the firm that inexplicably blew a "billion" and wants to know what happened to it.

The government still in the hole on the year, no matter what.

Ripping JPMorgan, still likely to make 16 billion on the year, no matter what.

Mind the customer is in better shape than the trainer.

Actually, a lot better shape than the trainer.

The customer screwed up a day, and now is back at the gym.

The trainer looks like he's never even "seen" a gym and now is back on the attack.

The customer lifting bar bells, getting harassed by a trainer whose total workout regimen consists of lifting ring dings.

What's going on here.

The fat lecturing the fit. And now just having fits.

The ones with all the "flab" demanding to know more about this one "flub."

The ones who wouldn't know discipline if it hit 'em at an ice cream counter...

Now telling an otherwise Olympic financial athlete to hit the ground and give 'em 50.

A government that can't lose its addiction to spending, having the moxy to lecture "anyone" on spending.

But "this" bank, of all banks, on spending?

A bank that still makes billions every year?

Getting the "Sergeant Carter going after Gomer Pyle" treatment by a cholesterol time-bomb of a government that "loses" billions...every day?

So even though the customer momentarily binged, and then ran back to the gym to lose those couple of unexpected pounds.

He's being screamed at by the equivalent of Austin Powers' nemesis "Fat Bastard," who's packed on a good couple of "hundred" extra pounds.


Fat chance the fat trainer sees himself in that gym's floor-to-ceiling mirror.

Or maybe, he thinks if he just yells real loud, people won't see just how fat he is in that mirror.

Or how silly he looks...

In spandex.

Doing it.