Updated

So I'm out a week, but never out of the loop.

Because although I wasn't reporting the news, I was watching it.

And man, maybe just me...but I couldn't get over the hypocrisy in all the coverage of it.

Here's what I've learned:

I've learned that the media is absolutely obsessed about who's bundling money for Mitt Romney.

But not a peep about whose bundling "a lot more money" for Barack Obama.

I've learned that the Catholic Church is still using the pulpit to take on a president over contraception.

But still not a word about how the president might be using his pulpit to take on the Catholic Church over contraception.

The president's of this age…

Those stupid bishops…practically in the Stone Age.

I've also discovered, when it comes to gay marriage…you're enlightened if you're for it.

Some backward dolt not of this century, if you have issues with it.

That gays' fight for rights is just like

African Americans' fight for civil rights.

Maybe just me, but I suspect even Martin Luther King might have a problem with that.

And maybe it's just me on this whole JPMorgan Chase pile-on…

But why no coverage of the folks "doing" the piling on?

I don't know…the politicians who've driven us trillions into debt…

Judging a bank that lost 2 billion smackers on a trade?

I also see Barack Obama is still cool and now

Michelle Obama's on every magazine cover, looking really cool.

I see Mitt Romney's still "not" cool, and

Ann Romney's lucky to pop up in Highlights for Children, looking not even remotely cool.

Bill Maher asks why conservatives are so angry at the president, and it's a good joke.

Apparently un-aware it's not just conservatives angry at the president, and it's not a joke.

Then I see John McCain made to look like a "cantankerous Popeye" for dare calling a protester a "jerk," at a solemn Memorial Day event.

But not a lick of criticism about the protester, for spoiling the dignity of that solemn Memorial Day event.

I've learned that those who protest wealth are still cool.

And those who have wealth are still not cool.

That they still aren't giving their fair share.

But not a peep from the media about the 47 percent of Americans who pay no income taxes at all…so "no" share.

No time for facts that make sense.

Just witless media talking points that make no sense.

Like saying republicans are too stubborn, sticking to issues that matter to them.

But not the president, for sticking to issues that matter to him.

No, liberals are generous.

Conservatives are cheap.

Liberals care.

Conservatives do not.

Then I hear veterans overwhelmingly support Mitt Romney, and one newspaper says it's because they don't appreciate all the president's done for them.

Much more talk about all the money Romney made in private capital..than even "bring up" the fact the

President's spent much more in public capital...and that's all on us.

No, the issue isn't whether the media is fair, my friends.

The issue is it isn't remotely an issue to the media, my friends.

I guess, "You're either rockin' the vote"...or "just off your rocker."

That's what I learned when I was on vacation.

The folks who report on our world…have yet to simply return from vacation.

...and get back to work.