This is a rush transcript from "The Five," July 5, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Thank you, Kimberly.
Welcome back. So, is childhood obesity a joke? Is heart disease a
joke? Is horrible suffering death a joke?
Well, for Mayor Bloomberg the answer is a resounding yes, as he
promotes another hot dog eating contest, the turtle talks.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MAYOR MICHAEL BLOOMBERG (I), NEW YORK CITY: One of their dogged
pursuers will finally ketchup, cut the mustard and be pronounced wiener.
No question it's going to be a dog fight. Just think of how many we got in
to one sentence. That was really impressive. Who wrote this (EXPLETIVE
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Only a jerk blames the speech writer in public, right,
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Yes.
GUTFELD: So, winner Joey Chestnut ate 68 hot dogs, which comes to
roughly six pounds, i.e., the weight a of a newborn baby.
Yes, Mayor Bloomberg just cheered a man eating a newborn baby. Not
really. I got no beef with beef. Just with hypocrites. Six pounds of
mystery meat wrapped in a tube of salt and nitrate, which sounds like my ad
on Craigslist. Impossibly be good for you.
But if that's Bloomberg's idea of fun, how can he lecture us over a
Big Gulp? Is Mayor Mike's inner nanny on vacation on every holiday?
So chefs of Manhattan, the next time Bloomy is in our joint, served a
radish on the Tell them you are looking out for his health and maybe then
he will stop gorging on your right to be left alone and maybe the rest of
the government will stop take our decisions for us. Because Mayor Mike and
Nancy Pelosi making my healthcare choices doesn't give me a warm and fuzzy.
Instead, it makes me nervous.
Like how I feel after Eric downs his second Appletini. It's all
I learned my lesson the hard way.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: You want to go there?
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: He doesn't drink appletini.
PERINO: I don't think the appletini part is what he's upset about.
GUTFELD: Hey, Beckel, I'm all for fun. I love hot dog eating
contest. But isn't he a hypocrite for being there?
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Is he hypocrite? First, to blame a speech writer -- that
wasn't -- if you could give a speech it wouldn't be too bad
GUILFOYLE: Right. The delivery.
BECKEL: I want to say to Mayor Bloomberg -- I smoke to the hotel
room where I stay, Mayor.
PERINO: Wait, you were in place last night, not a hotel.
BECKEL: No, no, after I left there. I went to a hotel.
GUILFOYLE: Why were you a hotel instead of your apartment?
BECKEL: I don't want to get into it.
But anyway --
GUTFELD: This is more interesting than a monologue. What were you
doing in a hotel room?
BECKEL: He banned soft drinks. Then the next day he did a doughnut
week, right? Now he's starting the hotdog -- Mayor, get consistent here
buddy, or get out.
BOLLING: To why Bob had to spend a few hours in a hotel room?
GUILFOYLE: Yes, I know why. I already figured it out.
BOLLING: Bloomberg is right in one respect. Let us know about it.
Let us know how much salt is in a hot dog and how many calories are in a
chain restaurant but don't mandate they tell us. Provide us information.
PERINO: Is it a mandate or a tax?
GUTFELD: It's a max. A combination of mandate and tax.
PERINO: Oh, like a tax max.
GUILFOYLE: Exactly. All right. Enough of that.
Kimberly, OK. Here is the thing about food eating contests. It's
GUILFOYLE: I'm getting hungry.
GUTFELD: When you're watching somebody stuff their face with hot
dog, how does it make you want to eat a hot dog?
GUILFOYLE: I watch it and I'm starving. If you put hot dogs in
front of me --
BECKEL: You are hungry all the time and you're skinny. How is that?
GUILFOYLE: You stress me out.
BECKEL: Is it Puerto Rican background?
GUILFOYLE: I really think so.
BECKEL: It must be, because, man, you eat and eat and eat.
BOLLING: Can I just point out that Kobayashi, the guy who won, is
now following Kimberly, right?
GUTFELD: Is he husband number three, Kimberly?
BECKEL: Kimberly does an eating contest, she cheats.
GUILFOYLE: No, I do not.
GUTFELD: Before I move on to talk about Tom Cruise. Here's my
point, Dana. Isn't he celebrating overeating? Shouldn't he be impeached?
PERINO: Absolutely. He should be impeached for giving a bad speech
and complaining to the speechwriters, because clearly, he hadn't read it
before he got there. He's like what do I do now? You got to go give a
speech, the hot dog thing. God, fine, every year.
BECKEL: Who would mention a wiener after Anthony Weiner?
PERINO: That's why I'm saying I don't think he read the speech
before he gave it. Then he was -- jumps on the speechwriter.
GUTFELD: It just came out that Tom Cruise has been listed as the
highest paid actor. People are wondering how this will impact the money
that his wife, right there, whatever her name is --
PERINO: Katie Holmes.
GUTFELD: That's it.
GUILFOYLE: It's TomKat.
GUTFELD: TomKat. Kimberly, you have been in high profile
relationships. Is Katie tired as being known as Mrs. Tom Cruise? Isn't
that why she married him, to be Mrs. Tom Cruise?
GUILFOYLE: Well, we can't get inside her head or her heart, can we?
But we can speculate. But nevertheless, she said she's coming in her own
now. She was younger making different choices but a new chapter in her
In California, they sign a prenup and that's going to rule and I
guarantee they do in fact. So, there's not going to be an issue that she's
going to be able to get more money than they agreed to in the settlement
and it should be entitled to adequate.
BECKEL: But I thought the brief she filed in New York was exactly
for that reason, because New York doesn't necessarily recognize prenups as
it was originally written. And the case would be here, not in California.
GUILFOYLE: Well, OK. But listen, in New York, yes, they do
BECKEL: Oh, they do? Did you have a prenup with the mayor of San
BOLLING: Don't go there. Stop, don't ask that.
BECKEL: I'm curious. I should have had a prenup on mine.
GUTFELD: What is a nup? I know what a prenup is. But what's a nup?
Greg, this is news. Are you trying to say that Tom Cruise is gay,
meaning the popularity from the divorce?
GUTFELD: I would not say that. I'm just hoping that the young love
birds can work it out. Dana?
PERINO: OK. I'm glad you tossed to me. I don't -- don't give a
rat's rear end about these two. I don't care --
BECKEL: She has come a long way.
BECKEL: She would have said something like I don't, wouldn't give a
PERINOI: I don't give a darn. I like him in a couple of movies.
He just got cast as leading role in another movie and apparently that
guy was tall, so they said it was a stretch. But do you get it?
GUTFELD: Yes. You're on fire, Dana.
PERINO: Nothing to see.
BECKEL: He would look up to you. The guy is only like 4'9".
GUILFOYLE: Who cares? He is making money. He's making movies.
BECKEL: Why don't you marry him?
GUILFOYLE: I'm as busy.
GUTFELD: All right. We're going to get out of this.
GUILFOYLE: I got to go for Kobayashi.
GUTFELD: There you go. He eats everywhere free.
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