Your Grrrs: Dec. 22, 2005

Your Grrrs...

Beth in Little Rock, Ark.: My Grrr! is directed toward all the customers in the women’s retail store I work in part-time. Our store is going out of business and there are signs posted throughout the store that say, "Store closing, no refunds or exchanges, no checks accepted." These signs are everywhere, in the dressing rooms, windows, on all of the walls, and, most importantly, behind the counter and taped on the counter. Yet everyone that comes in that store seems to be a complete obliviot or illiterate! They put up a fuss about not realizing they aren’t able to return or exchange things even though it is ever where you look. Read, people! They also whip our their checkbooks to write checks when they are standing in front of two signs that read, "No checks accepted," and get mad and huffy. It isn't like I made the rules and I can't change them! My personal favorite is the people who get so mad and say that we have lost a customer. My response is, "Lady, we are going out of business! We are losing all of our customers!

Jennifer in Stayton, Ore. about 'Brokeback Mountain': I love how everyone is lauding "Brokeback Mountain" as “brave,” “revolutionary” and “groundbreaking.” What is so brave or groundbreaking about cheating on your wife? Did anyone pay attention to that tiny bit of information in this stupid movie? Are we to believe that since they’re gay that it’s OK? Those poor tortured gay cowboys don’t need to feel bad about the vows they made to their wives -- they’re gay! Forget about the children they’ve made with these women -- they’re gay! How dare we criticize them for being who they are -- they’re gay! Give me a gigantic break. Wrong is wrong -- gay or not.

Jenny T. writes about 'The Apprentice': Just like "The Apprentice: Martha Stewart," I don't feel that Trump's last two candidates were at all good choices. This time around, I actually would respect both shows a whole lot better if they didn't hire someone, due to their inability to perform.

Ben in N.Y.: Your point is right on and it goes to the heart of the show -- only one person should be chosen, and Randal was obviously the best choice. Honestly, I don’t understand why it was even close. Rebecca has a bright future ahead of her, but that is not the point of the show. If Trump wanted her, he should have made her a behind-the-curtain offer so that none of this controversy would have ever come up.

KD from Mesa, Az.: I would like to say I could read your Grrr! column every day if there was one. But to those who are afraid of your perception of how strange the entertainment industry is about awards, then you hit the nail on the head. People seem to miss that you are trying to interject a little humor in an otherwise stressful world. Thanks. To those who don't know how to laugh, look in a mirror -- no one's perfect: America, the land of the free, Obliviots, Wal-Martians and whoever else bugs us. I love this freedom. A special thanks to those who are fighting and enabling us to enjoy these freedoms.

Bonnye in Shelbyville, Texas: Well, now Mr. De Niro has a taste of what the rest of us moderates have known for some time. This is the age of sleazy “journalism” and all his anti-Bush, anti-war and anti-Christmas Hollywood pals are a big part of the problem. They are so concerned about the “rights” of child molesters, illegal aliens, terrorists, murderers and all the other dregs of society that they have lost their minds. Woe be unto you if you are a smoker, a Republican, a Christian or just a moderate who hates watching the news anymore because of all the ridiculous stories hitting the airwaves! The moral of this story is “Don’t believe most of what you see on TV, hear on the radio or read in any publication and don’t believe anything you read on the Internet!"

Amanda writes: My Grrr! is to all the people in the office who feel it necessary to “make the rounds” and inform everyone of every function of their body, their mother, their trip to the grocery store and other things that no one really cares about or asked to know about. What makes it worse is when they talk loud enough that I hear the same story five or six times before she gets to MY desk. Don’t get me started on when they complain because they can’t seem to get their work done either, or don’t understand something … switch to decaf, do your job and leave the rest of us alone! If I wanted to hear about your menstrual cycle issues, I’d ASK!

Grrr'd in Raleigh, N.C., writes: In the last couple of weeks, I have gotten two answering machines that kept me Grrr-ing the rest of the day. One lady needed to play just about an entire unedited Kanye West song to inform everyone that she is a "Gold Digger" and another lady finds one particular episode of "Good Times" so meaningful that everyone who calls her must be subjected to over two minutes worth of snappy but barely discernible dialogue. How inconsiderate!

Freada in Atlanta on The Gay Grrr!: Haaaaaaaahahahaha. That's the funniest article I've seen in years. You nailed it, Mike. Maybe Paris could play your estranged daughter in the mini-series. Of course, there would have to be a part for her little dog, too. Hollywood and its environs are pitifully predictable and transparent. Webster needs a new word for "shallow" to describe the "scene." Thanks for a belly laugh.

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