Your Grrrs Aug. 11, 2005

Your Grrrs.....

Jackie in NM: Grrr to Britney Spears for complaining about how hard married life is. Yes, it is hard being a newly married step mom, but come on. You at least have a maid to buy your diapers and a pool boy to walk your dog. The rest of us (in the real world) have to endure rude shoppers, crazy drivers, and long lines just to get whatever supplies our children need. As for the dog, most of us walk the dog ourselves. I’m not really seeing where Britney’s problem is, other than she has to take 5 minutes out of her day to talk to the hired help.


My grrrr is to the woman who almost t-boned my vehicle in the parking lot at Wal-Mart. How did this happen, you ask? Well, this female oblivion had apparently decided that she did not need to drive down the lanes correctly; instead, she could just cut across the parking lot without checking for any drivers going the right way. She finally stopped when I laid on my horn, and, being that I was incredibly pissed off, flipped her off (which I admit was a rude thing to do). She, however, had the nerve to look at me like I was the one at fault and how dare I be so rude to her. I’m sorry, but I would think that almost t-boning a car ON THE DRIVER’S SIDE is a lot worse than flipping someone off.

Robert B. in Racine, Wis.: The Passing-Aggressor ... a particularly dangerous Obliviot who, not satisfied with the 75-80 mph pace of traffic in the fast lane, fades in and out of the slower lanes in a barely controlled fashion in order to find the path of least resistance (and most danger) around those slow pokes who insist on driving slower than 90 mph. While the passing-aggressor can be found in most large urban areas, they are heavily concentrated in and around Chicago. The only good thing about passing-aggressors is they seem to be a natural antidote for a left-lane-vigilante. Left-lane-vigilantes will go out of their way, and out of the fast lane, to pen a passing aggressor behind the nearest right lane 18-wheeler.

Christopher in Cyberspace: I think you are so right about the Wal-Martian! Seriously, they are rude cat-nasty people. Waiting in line after the not-10-items-or-less people is so annoying ... I feel like saying 'Can you read or would you like me to spell it out for you?' The other day I read an article about a woman who got hit by a car because she was standing in a parking space, holding it for her husband. You forgot to add to your article that a true Wal-Martian is yelling at her kids to stop running, eventually loses the kids and has to call them on the loud speaker ARGH.

Karen Jones in Cyberspace: You forgot one very important final matter. After Susan has held up the Subway or grocery store line enough with her self-absorbed antics ... "Oh! I have to paaaaaay?" This always seems to come as a surprise, at the end of the tally ... she never has her purse open, her wallet, credit card or debit card out and ready ... or her checkbook out, with the few obvious details (the date, the pay to) already filled in. No, when the clerk says, "That'll be $42.95," the whole next round of holding up the line commences with a series of rummagings. And, then ... Oh! Look! She forgot the coupon! Could the clerk please void the total and start all over again?

S. Martini in Cyberspace: This is for Steve in Las Vegas complaining about the "obliviot smokers" he deals with all day long. All I can say, Steve, is get over it. You live in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA where people can pollute their bodies if they damn well feel like it. I do not smoke, and have run into some very inconsiderate smokers, but as long as they respect my house rule of no smoking, they can smoke where ever they feel like it. Right now, the only places people can smoke is in their cars or outside. I do not agree with throwing used butts out the window; that's why car manufacturers put ashtrays in cars. But, I'm sorry, if you don't like it, use the other door.

Kile in Cyberspace: Had to respond to the comment about the blinkoblivions. If the light you are approaching is blinking red, you must stop; it if is blinking yellow, you must use caution, but you have the right of way over the lane with the blinking red. If they wanted it to be treated as a four-way stop, they would make them all blink red.

Bobby Lawn in NYC: I don't have a Hummer, so maybe that makes me a fair defender of auto owner's right to have one, as well as to point out that while most of your criticisms of Susan Wal-Martian fairly depict her behavioral lack of respect for others (offensive perfume, wasting others time, abusing the "10 items" line at the market), the Hummer-bashing sounds petty, maybe jealous, perhaps even a call to be a Straka ClassWar-Farian?

Heather G. at the Drive Thru: GRRR to the Oblivot in front of me at a fast food drive-thru last night. I was taking my daughters for a treat after soccer practice and the guy in front of me was asking about everything on the menu. Then, he sat there for two minutes, trying to decide what he wanted to order. HELLO!! Drive-thru lanes are for those who know what they want and would like to quickly get their food and go.

A Very P'd Jon in Nebraska: My biggest Grrr is the idiots in our judicial system who, rather than keep dangerous sex offenders behind bars, they not only let them out, they make us let them live wherever they want and then tell us to keep a better eye on our kids. No matter how well we keep track of our kids, there will be times when we aren't watching them, like when we are sleeping, and most of the time the rapists will abduct them right out of the yard or even out of the house. We are living in an age when the justice system is in favor of the criminal and are making it harder and harder for us to keep our families safe. In all honesty, I think the only reason level 3 sex offenders should be let out is to give me some target practice.

Scott C. in Cyberspace: Just read your column on Susan Wal-Martian. Fantastic! Got steaming mad just reading about my everyday encounters with her. But you forgot the part where she's talking on her cell phone in the parking lot and can't park or back out because she's trying to look all around, use one hand to hold the phone and the other to steer and work the shifter. And heaven forbid if it's a stick shift.

Cherie in Cincinnati: My GRRR! goes to those fellow co-workers who like to continuously blow their noses in the office. What makes them think that anyone wants to hear the pleasant gurgling and snorting sounds of their snot-filled noses? Hey, why don't you fart while you're at it? Please, go in the bathroom and blow to your hearts content!

B. Boyd in Cyberspace: I guess I'm part Wal-Martian. I don't take my cart to the nearest rack in the parking lot. I don't because they DO have people to collect them. They even have machines that do the work and all the guy has to do is steer it. Wal-Mart wants you to take it back so they don't have to pay as much out in wages for the job. Wal-Mart saves money and time, I lose. I do put the cart on the intersection of four parking lines, so it's not in the way of anyone who knows how to park a car between lines instead of on them.

Thomas S. on his motorcycle: GRR! With a death wish to Jason in Calif.! Talk about an Obliviot in the extreme! A few points, Jason: First, not every biker zooms between cars. In fact, most of us consider it a reckless and obliviotic act that casts a pall on the rest of us. But that doesn't excuse you not watching for bikers! If you don't like the line-skating obliviots, OPEN YOUR DOOR! STEER INTO THEM! KILL THEM! It's the same effect as your intentional disregard of the rest of us bikers!

Guy in Cyberspace: I am not a left-hand vigilante; I am trying to take the left-hand exit that is 500 yards ahead. Don't flash your lights at me to move over and miss my exit. And by the way, why are you in this exit-only lane when you aren't going to exit? Read the signs. Get back in the center lane with the rest of the through traffic! A pox on the highway designer who created this situation.

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Mike Straka is the director of operations and special projects for, and covers entertainment and features on the Sunday program "FOX Magazine." He also writes the weekly Grrr! Column and hosts "The Real Deal" video segments on