Your Grrrs: April 5, 2005

Stupid Lit'l Dreamer...

This week's SLD mention goes out to veteran Chris Carney, who is responsible for Soldier Ride, where he and a group of wounded vets take to the roads across the country to raise awareness of and money for wounded soldiers.

Last year, Soldier Ride helped raise close to $4 million for the Wounded Warrior Project. Here's to Chris and his band of merry men and women. We salute you.

Cutting Room Floor

So we've started "The Real Deal" right here on It's a weekly series that will updated every Friday. Click the link below to watch. It will always be in the related videos tab above.

This week we dish on Chris Rock and Paula Abdul, and Judge Andrew Napolitano weighs in on the Michael Jackson story.

Check out "The Real Deal."

Now for Your Grrrrs

CiiCii in Mo. on my pal Bethany Hamilton: This world is getting weirder and weirder. I guess you heard about the girl whose arm was "finger lickin' good" to a shark is getting a deal to sell perfume?! Now what about what happened to this gal would make me want to buy her branded perfume? Perhaps if they called it "Bait."

Rebecca in Cyberspace: Let's come up with a word for those folks who are experts at everything they have no experience in. You know the type: those with no children who want to tell every new mother what they are doing wrong. Or those in perfect health who roll their eyes at someone with chronic pain. Of course, there are those who have good incomes who can't understand why a girlfriend can't afford to go to lunch — if only they'd cut back on .... fill in the blank. I work with one of these: single, no kids and makes $100K a year who knows everything but has zero experience in any of it. Grrrrr!

Phil C. in Riverside, Calif.: My Grrrr! is about people who don't know how to park. They either take up two spaces, create their own spots or they pull in next to my car and leave me unable to enter through the driver's side door. I had to enter through the passenger side!! Is it asking too much for these Obliviots to park correctly?

Samantha in Ft. Lauderdale: In this time of such important events going on in the world, this seems silly. However, I really have a big grrrr about the free-weight lifting area in public gyms. In the morning, every minute counts in my workout so that I can get to work on time. I love to use the free weights. My grrrr goes out to those idiot Oblivions in the gym who feel it is necessary to leave three or four 45-pound weights on each bar or machine, only so people like me who do not lift that much have to remove all of them before searching throughout the entire area to find the weights that I use (20 pounds or less) because NOT ONE of these people puts them back! I realize everyone's workout is important to them, but how hard is it to take a few seconds after you are done with your set to put your weights BACK where you got them from so the next person does not have to! It is common courtesy! Grrrrrr!

Kevin M. in Ark: I've discovered the reason behind the large numbers of Oblivions who are quickly encompassing our globe, especially in suburban America. It's the mentality of "It's OK, I'm on a cell phone!" All you have to do is wag the cell phone at the people behind you so they understand that you have a legitimate, doctor-authorized excuse to be obnoxious, rude and self-centered. So you feel the need to step in front of the line at Starbucks, even though you don't know what you want. "It's OK, because, see, I have a cell phone on my ear!" If you need to cross three lanes of busy traffic to get in the HOV lane, even though you are riding solo, "It's OK, because, see, I have a cell phone on my ear!" If you stroll in front of countless tired shoppers to the front of the self-check lines at your local grocery, "It's OK, because, see, I have a cell phone on my ear!" Anything that you decide to do, it's really OK.

Butch G., in Cyberspace: Glad to hear someone in the media with a widely read column is promoting wrestling. For years I have waited for Real Pro Wrestling to come to center stage of the sports world. What we saw on Sunday evening was a great show of quickness, strength and ability. Though they "tweaked" the rules a tad, I believe it is for the better. For the average Joe out there who doesn't understand the sport, it probably didn't make a lot of sense. However, Carr and Gardener did very well explaining what was going on.

Dave in Ann Arbor, Mich.: I am a former wrestler too, and love freestyle/folkstyle wrestling. I was really upset that Cael Sanderson didn't win Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year, but I guess that title is used for some overpaid athlete who will help SI sell more copies when the issue comes out on newsstands. Grrrrrrrrr.

Ryan M. in Cyberspace: To Superior Court Judge Howard Owens awarding over $40 MILLION to a woman caught CHEATING on her husband! If a man were married to a rich woman and went around cheating with every young thing that came along, he wouldn't get spit and would end up paying alimony! This example of a flawed divorce legal system makes me want to stomp my feet, light a match and protest for an overhaul of the system. This guy needs to be disrobed!

Janice S. on Mancow: That's right, I'm grring "FOX & Friends"' favorite "shock jock." The man is becoming more and more self-righteous right before my eyes! He calls people who support Michael Schiavo and his duty to uphold his wife's wishes "bad people." Bad people? Is that what you call people who disagree with your point of view? And today he said something about 1 in 25 people are sociopaths, and those are the people who "don't care" about Terri. This guy has to learn there are differing opinions in the world and that's what makes the world go 'round.

Rob in Hackensack, N.J.: As three women are finishing their meal in a crowded restaurant, one decides to make a call at the table to get the latest "American Idol" results. As is typical of people on cell phones, she was speaking very loudly. Her rude behavior caused a number of people to turn and look. Her Oblivion friend, noticing the stares, concluded, "See, everyone wants to hear what's going on."

Kenn in Phoenix, Ariz.: My grrr is Oblivions who decide to inquire about all the different lotto tickets in convenience stores during morning rush hour. There will be a line of 10 people standing behind an Oblivion who keeps asking, "So I can win $10,000 for three pineapples, but I only get $10 for three apples?"

Russ in Durham, N.C.: So you're sick of people yapping about March Madness. Good for you. I can understand that because I'm sick of people yapping about Paris Hilton, "American Idol" and other alleged "reality" programming on TV. The difference is that the NCAA tourney lasts three short weeks while the banal contests and Barnum-esque exhibitionism of so-called reality TV are interminable throughout the year. Though I often disagree with your rants, I do enjoy your column.

Brad in Greenwich, Conn.: Instead of allowing all the positive excitement given off by March Madness to annoy you, you should allow it to enthrall and captivate you. March Madness is the essence of pure sports competition in America. It pits top athletes and teams against one another, competing for college's top prize unfettered by money and greed. It provides a forum for Davids vs. Goliaths, where real Cinderella upsets are possible, which only occurs in college basketball. Stat boys across America are merely drawing off this energy, as should you.

Mike Straka is the director of operations and special projects for and covers entertainment and features on the Sunday program "FOX Magazine."

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