You Are an Idiot ... Grrr!

My last column, "Things That Make You Go Grrr!," generated a lot of e-mail response.

Several people e-mailed me things that make them go Grrr!, while others, like someone named Raigan, simply stated "You are an idiot!"

I asked if he felt better now? He said, "I do." A man (or woman) of few words. I can respect that.

Now that we've established that I am, in fact, an idiot, let's get back to the things that make me go Grrr!, along with some of the things you wrote in about.

Last week on AMC's "Sunday Morning Shootout," starring "Variety"'s editor-in-chief Peter Bart and Hollywood mogul Peter Guber, the debate was whether or not movie trailers misrepresent movies. It reminded me of something that makes me go Grrr! about movie trailers.

Like when the announcer puts on his serious voice and says "starring Oscar nominated [insert actor], or Oscar winner [insert actor], or from the Oscar winning director of [insert title]."  PLEASE!  We're not that dumb.

If the trailer stinks, we're not going to see the movie, no matter how many Oscar nominees or winners are in it (even if it mentioning the Oscar is in the stars' contracts). Grrr!

And why aren't there any women doing movie trailer voice overs? (Just thought I'd throw that out there.)

How about radio stations whose DJs use the reverb effect? Do DJs think we're out there thinking, "Gee, I wish my voice ECHOED so I could be a radio announcer too." Nobody talks like that!  Grrr!

Speaking of nobody talks like that ...

What is it with sportscasters anyway? Do you think they go home and speak with their significant others in that sports announcer voice? Ever hear Ron Jaworski on ESPN?  Funny, when he's in the studio he sounds like a normal guy. But when he's reporting from the field, all of a sudden he sounds like Suzy Kolber. I don't get it. (Hey Jaws, next time you're on the sideline, better watch out for Joe Namath.)

The other day I heard my local sportscaster refer to a hockey goal as "right where mama puts the peanut butter." Huh? But here's the real Grrr! part. Not only did he say it in the 5:30 a.m. hour, he said it again at 6:30 a.m., just in case any new viewers missed his earlier brilliance. Is there a producer in the house? Grrr!

How about when reality show contestants move on to bigger and better things in the TV business? Since when did eating bugs on "Survivor" or "Fear Factor" become a prerequisite to having one's own show? I'm going to fire my agent and just eat worms in my next TV piece. I'll be the next host of "American Idol." Grrr!

OK. Why are singers asked to sing but actors are never asked to act?

You ever notice that when an actor is a guest on late-night television, like Leno or Letterman, he or she gets to be interviewed? But when a musician or a rock group is invited on the show, they just get to sing, like hired help.

Are actors and their opinions somehow more important than musicians?

Imagine if there were no more movie clips on that monitor that pops up behind the couch.  Instead Halle Berry, for instance, acts in a scene from "Monster's Ball," right there on stage. Or Keanu Reeves demonstrates some of the martial arts he "mastered" while filming "The Matrix."  Yea, that'll happen. Grrr!

I hate it when television and radio commercials are five decibels louder than the program you're watching. You know those nights when you've got insomnia, so you put on some late-late night talk show that is guaranteed to put you to sleep -- like Carson Daly -- and just when you're dozing off the Flowbee commercial blares and just about gives you a heart attack. Grrr!

Now for Some of Your Grrrs!

William B. of Madison, Ala., writes: "When a phone rings during (church) service, our pastor has mentioned several times, 'That had better be GOD.'"  Grrr!

Master Sgt. Alan J. of the U.S. Air Force writes: "What about the people who speed to pass you then slow down?" Grrr!

Staff Sgt. Mike V. of the U.S. Air Force writes: "Don't forget about fast food restaurants putting too many napkins in the napkin dispenser (try to pull one out and all you get is a little corner)." Grrr!

Mary Ellen D. of Chandler, Ariz., writes: "After spending over $---- for a third-row ticket to the Simon and Garfunkel 20-year reunion concert...the guy seated (standing? "swaying") to your right CONSTANTLY belches beer and hot dogs and insists on SINGING ALOUD to EVERY SONG from EVERY SET.....EVEN THE SOLOS. ERRRRRRRRRR."

Lynda D. of El Paso, Texas, writes: "TAILGATING!!! We see it all the time, everyone is in such a hurry to go...a few feet further."

Brian D. in Minneapolis, Minn., writes: "Store clerks who spend more time and attention on the person who calls them with a question than the live, paying customer standing in front of them who took the time to drive down and step into their establishment. Grrr ..."

Spencer W. of Longview, Texas, writes: "When your co-worker slips out for an 'unofficial' and on-the-clock smoke break and comes back 10 minutes later reeking of nicotine."

And speaking of workplace Grrrs. Once in a while I'll be walking through the Fox News Channel newsroom with a fast food lunch, and someone inevitably says, "Straka, you eat that stuff?"

As a matter of fact, I do sometimes crave a super-sized box of greasy, fattening, over-salted French fries. Now get a life! Grrr!

Thanks to everybody who wrote in. Keep 'em coming.

My next column will be from Houston, Texas, and the Super Bowl. I already have "friends" asking me if I can get them tickets! Grrr!

Mike Straka is the project manager for FOX News' Web operations and contributes as a features reporter and producer on FOX Magazine (Sundays 11 p.m. on FNC), a producer on Sunday Best (Sundays 9pm on FNC), and as a reporter and columnist for 

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