And now the most engrossing two minutes in television, the latest from the wartime grapevine:

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Kaptur-ing Usama
Ohio Democratic Congresswoman Marcy Kaptur says Usama bin Laden and his terrorist allies can be compared to America's founders. In an interview with The Toledo Blade, Kaptur said this country was founded by religious people who had fled repression in other countries to come here. She cited such fabled American revolutionary fighters as Vermont's Green Mountain Boys Militia. Then she added, "One could say that Usama bin Laden and these non-nation-state fighters with religious purposes are very similar to those kind of atypical revolutionaries that helped to cast off the British crown."

Kerry-ing Responsibility
Sen. John Kerry, who was shown by the Boston Globe recently to be of Jewish ancestry, has insisted he has always been "clear as a bell" in never claiming Irish ancestry, despite his Irish-sounding last name. But the Globe has now uncovered a statement Kerry made on the Senate floor back in 1986 just after St. Patrick's Day, which began, "For those of us who are fortunate enough to share an Irish ancestry, we take great pride in the contributions that Irish-Americans from the time of the Revolutionary War to the present." An aide explained that the senator did not really make the statement, that it was written for him by staff and entered in the Congressional record without the senator ever seeing it.

Hampered by Concerns
A new poll shows President Bush is trailing an as-yet unnamed Democratic candidate when it comes to the 2004 presidential election. The poll shows 44 percent of the population would most likely vote for Bush, while 48 percent would most likely vote for the Democrat, whoever he or she may be. The Quinnipiac University poll goes on to show the president's approval rating has dropped to 53 percent, down from 54 percent a month ago. The poll's authors say Bush's rating is hampered by concerns over war and the economy.

Not Clowning Around
Vice President Cheney's office has warned a Web site that parodies the Bush administration to remove altered pictures of Mrs. Cheney, which portray her with a clown's nose. The Web site's owner, 31-year-old John Wooden, has posted the letter on WhiteHouse.org, in which Cheney's lawyer writes, "Please send me written confirmation that your company will delete all photographs of Mrs. Cheney." The New York Times says the New York Civil Liberties Union promises to go to court for Wooden, saying, "This is pure intimidation."