The Treasured Memory of TomKitten's 1st Poop

TomKat may not let you see their baby, but they were happy to have an artist create a bronzed sculpture of her doodoo — or so he says.

Daniel Edwards, the off-kilter artist who shocked many a museum-goer with his extremely detailed Britney Spears birthing sculpture just months ago, says he's created a bronze cast depicting Suri Cruise's first solid stool — and he plans to sell it on eBay for charity, the AFP reports.

The shrouded infant's prized poopy, which sits proudly on a wooden mounting, will be displayed at the Capla Kesting gallery in Brooklyn, N.Y., before it is auctioned off to benefit the March Of Dimes next month.

"A bronzed cast of baby's first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family," gallery director David Kesting said.

Kesting said he hopes the work will attract bids of up to $30,000.

So far, the biggest scatological spender has offered $41 for the … um … art.

Suri, the 19-week-old daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, has already been the focus of many a tabloid story questioning everything from her health to her very existence. If the sculpture is the real deal, at least we now know she has a well-functioning colon.

I Blame This Whole Thing on That New Kid, Bruce Wayne

MANSFIELD, Ark. (AP) — It's just a few days into the new school year and teachers in Mansfield are already being driven batty — by bats.

The flying mammals are roosting inside Mansfield Elementary School, and it appears the problem has gotten worse since classes resumed in August. In some cases, teachers have had to move students out of classrooms.

Until the extent of the bat problem was realized, some of the results were being blamed on other agents.

Superintendent Jim Hattabaugh says he first thought the odor of bat guano was caused by boys missing their aim in the restroom.

The bats are in the classrooms, on ceilings and, according to animal-control officers, behind the walls.

After consulting with animal control workers, school officials set up a bat funnel. They hope the bats will fly out at night and not find their way back in.

Thanks to Out There reader Sarah H.

And Now This From the Funny-When-It's-Not-Your-Car Dept.:

NEW YORK (AP) — Dude, where's my car? And what's that No Parking sign doing here?

Several Brooklyn residents woke up to find their street empty — because someone had posted a No Parking sign and police had towed their rides.

The sign, which bans parking on a street in the DUMBO neighborhood from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. weekdays, mysteriously appeared Monday or Tuesday, residents said, and then police started ticketing and towing cars parked there.

But the Department of Transportation says there aren't any parking restrictions in the area and it doesn't know who posted the placard, which looks official.

Resident David Bourgeois said he had to pay $205 to retrieve his Mini Cooper, with a $60 ticket on the windshield, from a police pound Wednesday after it was hauled away.

"It's just outrageous," he told the Daily News for Friday editions.

The DOT said it would try to dismiss the ticket — and take down the No Parking sign.

Note to Self: Never Come Between a Granny and Her Pot Roast

VAIL, Colo. (AP) — A 72-year-old woman making pot roast in her kitchen discovered uninvited guests in her home Thursday: a bear and her cub.

The unidentified woman walked into the kitchen and found the bear standing six feet away, apparently surprising it, Vail police Sgt. Dan Torgerson said. The bear hissed at her and swatted her chest and arm, giving her some minor scratches. The woman then scared it off by yelling and clapping her hands.

Torgerson said the bear hissed again and then left through a side door.

"If the bear was trying to hurt her, it very easily could have," he said. "I think it was just surprised."

The woman then found a cub in her house and she pushed it out the door, Torgerson said.

That bear and cub are believed to be the same ones that entered another home and ate food off the kitchen counter. The owners refused to let wildlife officials set traps for bears in their homes.

No trash had been left outside at either home but a trash can was found outside on another street and it had apparently been rummaged through by a bear. That resident was cited.

Randy Hampton, a spokesman for the Colorado Division of Wildlife, said the bear has learned how to get food from humans and has taught its cub. If captured, he said the bear would be euthanized and its cub euthanized or relocated.

Encounters between humans and bears are more common as bears feed to prepare for hibernation during the winter. Right now bears spend about 20 hours a day eating about 20,000 calories — the equivalent of nearly 20 Big Mac meals.

That's One Way to Use Your Tupperware

MEADVILLE, Pa. (AP) — Meadville police say they're closing their investigation into a human breast unearthed at a church under renovations.

Police say their investigation revealed that the woman had cancer and buried her surgically removed breast at the church. Police say they were unable to track down the woman, but are closing the case because they're confident no crime was committed.

The breast was discovered while crews were excavating at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Meadville. It was in a plastic container.

Crews found the breast while digging at the church to install a new exit.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.

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