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A recent article posted on the White House Web site claims that President Obama's "steady diplomacy" has given America a renewed moral authority. The recipe for their self-proclaimed success: Obama's attempt to close Gitmo.

According to White House adviser Ben Rhodes, "By prohibiting torture and working to close the prison… we are denying Al Qaeda a recruiting tool."

Let's analyze this theory for a moment: If Gitmo is a great tool for recruiting more bad guys, it means the place must really piss them off. And it should. Gitmo represents treating terrorists like enemies, using every tool to extract info from them and using it to destroy their cause. So it's not the beatings they hate, but the fact that we're trying to beat them.

And this upsets them, much in the way Leno pisses off Conan, Nicole Richie irked Paris Hilton or how Hulk Hogan undermined the Ultimate Warrior.

To me, it's both naive and scary that the administration thinks closing down Gitmo will reduce jihad — as if suddenly terrorists will stop terrorizing once a tool of war is removed. As John Bolton noted, America is, and will always be, the primary recruitment tool for all jihadists, Gitmo or no Gitmo.

And if anything, closing Gitmo tells terrorists that their actions can influence our decision-making, which can only encourage them to step up their game.

How the administration can call this "Sally Field" diplomacy a success is beyond me. But a lot of things are beyond me, which is why I own a sponge on a stick.

And if you disagree with me, you're probably a homophobic racist who spanks children.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com