NEW YORK – How are the stars spending this Memorial Day? We predict what the hottest celebrities will be up to this holiday weekend in the twisted rockets red glare of The Foxlight.
Sean P. Diddy Puffy 'What's My Name Today' Combs is probably in the Hamptons hunting for a bulletproof cottage.
Former Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith may be using her beach blanket as a crying towel after the judge overturned her $475 million judgement.
Heartthrob Johnny Depp might be looking for a new agent after his World War II movie, The Man Who Cried, opened against the blockbuster Pearl Harbor. Meanwhile Ben Affleck, Alec Baldwin and Kate Beckinsale may be getting acting lessons. Nice reviews, guys.
Jack Nicholson is probably roasting weenies over an open fire fueled by shredded pictures of ex-flame Lara Flynn Boyle. The same bonfire's probably burning at Nicole Kidman's house with pictures of Tom Cruise. And Jane Fonda is probably roasting a veggie burger on the Weber with her Wedding Album.
Tony Soprano won't whack anybody, that's business and this is a holiday. But Jason Cerbone, who plays Jackie Aprile, Jr., is probably trying to talk Sopranos creator David Chase into having Meadow dream of Jackie Jr. all next season.
Look for Bob Dylan, who recently turned 60, partying at Denny's now that he gets the senior citizen discount. And speaking of senior citizens ... Hugh Hefner probably wraps an American flag around his Viagra bottle and defibrillator in honor of Memorial Day. "Clear!"
And I don't know what Michael Jackson is doing but I'm sure it's bizarre and there will be tabloid pictures of it next week.
So, now that you know how the stars will spend theirs, make your Memorial Day a happy and a little more normal one. In the patriotic glow of The Foxlight, I'm Bill McCuddy, FN.