The Stars Are Different Than Regular Folks

NEW YORK – The stars are different than regular folks, but a lot of them don't shine anymore in the harsh glare of The Foxlight.

Remember Julia Ormond? She was an "It" Girl after Sabrina in 1995. Then Smilla's Sense of Snow in '97 had a silly sense of script. Julia? Where are you? In fact where are a lot of the "it" people lately?

Winona Ryder seems to have career interrupted since Girl, Interrupted.

Matthew McCona-who? When nude bongo playing is the last role anyone can recall, it's time to change agents.

Hey, Hilary Swank, stop polishing that Oscar and head out for a few more auditions. Boys may not cry, but how are you doing lately?

Tara Reid has more time to devote to her career since the split from Carson. And not a moment too soon - Josie and The Pussycats 2, anyone? Didn't think so.

Edward Furlong, has your career been terminated? Or will you be back? Call us at the Foxlight, you know how we worry.

Patrick Swayze, nobody backs baby into a corner, but what about you? We'd settle for some clean dancing if it was in a good movie.

Jenny McCarthy - Candies ads don't count - haven't seen you since Diamonds in 1999 and that one wasn't a girl's best friend.

Marisa Tomei, are you sitting in a yoga class somewhere with Mira Sorvino going "Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm, what happened?"

Finally, Piper Perabo. Hollywood gave you two big rolls of the dice. Rocky & Bullwinkle wasn't your fault but Coyote Ugly? Chew the arm off your publicist and get moving or you'll be tending bar soon.

And that's the always warmed over world of celebrity chit for chat we serve over easy in the chaffed dish lit by a Foxlight.