The Only Aphrodisiac Is Booze

Some critics of hip-hop say its sexual content causes teens to have more sex. But now health researchers say the real influence is all the stuff that worked before hip-hop existed: alcohol, drugs and Old Spice.

I kind of agree.

From my experience, hip-hop only makes women feel sexy toward hip-hop artists, but never, ever to me. It's not like "Rumpshaker" ever made a woman want to shake her rump at me. It was always the rumpshakee that reaps the rumpshaking.

Really, the only aphrodisiac is booze. Without it, we would never have sex and never procreate.

The thought of squirting out an 8-pound projectile from an orifice the size of a half dollar requires nothing less than complete inebriation. Couple the fact that men are hairy and smelly beasts — it's a wonder women even go near us.

And that's why it's always been alcohol — and not hip-hop — that's responsible for sex (and life).

Lastly, if you blame music currently in vogue for corrupting youth, then you're one year away from buying a mobility scooter. I suggest the Rascal 600. It has a short wheelbase with a tight turning radius and a tracking device for houseboys!

And that's my gut feeling!

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: