By now you've heard about the reception that took place Tuesday in Beverly Hills, netting Obama $50 trillion in cash, a celebrity-pimpled event marred by a live performance by walking gasbag Barbra Streisand.
But while this was going on, another star was left languishing — Lindsay Lohan.
Allegedly, Lilo really wanted to help Obama, offering to host events to attract people who still think she matters (i.e. 70-year-old men in overcoats). Shamefully, Barack ignored her, implying she's not the kind of celebrity they want linked to their glorious mission.
Now, if this isn't a pure example of intolerance, I don't know what is. Sure, Lohan is a tad unstable, often losing her thong, hitting parked cars for fun and always claiming the drugs the cops find afterwards aren't hers. And then there's the fact that she's a temporary lesbian, dating some creature in a hat — a hobby that'll end once the Sapphic set sicken of her mindless antics.
The clincher? She's freckled. I mean, if you look at all of Obama's supporters, there's not a freckled freak among them and I wonder why. For what is a heavily-freckled person, really, but a random mixture of black and white or maybe red — a perfect emblem of a colorblind society?
Add to this, the fact that when Lohan has been busted with drugs in the past, she's blamed it on the nearest black guy. For that reason alone, I wouldn't let her near Obama.
And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.