Updated

For most of my adult life, I have always been amused by the phrase "speaking truth to power" — a strange amalgam of words that, roughly translated, means "shouting at people who remind me of daddy."

The only people who think they can speak truth to power, of course, are the left. It is a self-satisfying exercise for them: A therapeutic wash of emotion derived from throwing a pie at a conservative speaker on campus or calling her a Nazi or both.

In academic and media circles though, this act of bravery possesses the risk level of playing solitaire without a helmet.

That's why speaking truth to power is a sham: You can't do it if everyone around you agrees with you. Speaking truth to power can only be heroic if there's a possibility you could lose something: your freedom, your life, your job or your Gucci leopard-print thing.

Speaking truth to power is supposed to come at a cost, which is why the Obama presidency could be totally awesome. I mean, imagine if all the people who pride themselves on speaking truth to power end up speaking truth to power to the Obama administration, which consists of people who normally speak truth to power!

If this actually happens, the earth could implode and I may have a complete nervous breakdown. I may even have to move to Belgium, but don't count on it. I hate wallabies.

And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler!

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com