Yet another illegal alien has been found here in the States, stowed away in a plane's cargo area. He endured a hellish trip, but now will be returned to his crap-hole of a country after getting some medical treatment.

Yeah, I know what he did was "illegal," but whenever I read about a dude doing something like this, I keep thinking what a badass he is.

Whenever the amount of risk taken to come here exceeds anything we'd do to stay here, then that champ deserves citizenship.

I mean, this guy gambled with his life so he could work at Arby's. Would John Cusack do the same? No, because he's a tool.

Look, our country is crammed with brats who think they're adults and adults pretending to be brats — all handed endless opportunities simply because they were born here. Millions of Americans squander, mock and abuse a country that other folks would die to get into and for this reason, it's time to enact a solution I've mentioned before: a human trading system.

For example, I would gladly give up the entire Hulk Hogan brood for this dude from the cargo hold. Or better, for every immigrant found in a jet's wheel well, we send an entire cast of "The Real World" to wherever that brave soul escaped from.

Finally we'd fill this great country with people who truly understand why it's great, while getting rid of anyone who thinks Green Day lyrics mean something.

Of course, human trading is probably illegal, which is why we'd have to do it at night. I have a panel van and some GHB left over from the weekend.

And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com